#44 - 99餐厅、车队与感恩节

谁有时间听长篇大论的广播？

Who's got time for the long broadcast?

这里是《一分钟播客》。

It's the One Minute Podcast.

哦，没错。

Oh, yeah.

我们回来了。

We're back.

回到录音室了。

Back in the studio.

欢迎收听《一分钟播客》，我们将在一分钟内告诉你所有需要知道的内容，或者，嗯，大概五分钟吧。

Welcome to the One Minute Podcast where we tell you everything you need to know in just one minute or or, you know, just five minutes.

反正需要多久就多久。

However long it takes.

我也不知道时间是怎么回事。

I don't know what's going on with the time.

我老家那边出了个大新闻。

Big news out of where I'm from.

马萨诸塞州人气休闲餐厅99餐厅的西康科德分店关门了。

The ninety nine's restaurant, a popular casual dining restaurant in Massachusetts, their location in West Concord is closed.

这家分店应该本周末就要停业了。

Location will be closing I think this weekend.

我上次去那家餐厅时点了一盘玉米片，结果里面有个螺丝钉。

Last time I was at that location at that restaurant, I ordered a plate of nachos, and there was a screw in it.

我咬到了装玉米片的金属盘上的螺丝钉。

I bit into a a screw from the metal plate the nachos were in.

于是我把经理叫了过来。

So I called the manager over.

我说：嘿，我刚在玉米片里吃出个螺丝钉。

I was like, hey, you know, I just found a screw, you know, in the nachos.

结果他回我：不可能吧。

And he goes, no way.

真的吗？

Really?

我说，是啊。

I was like, yeah.

就在这儿。

Right right here.

然后他说，哦，天哪。

And he goes, oh, man.

听起来你被‘螺丝’了。（双关：被耍了/吃到螺丝）

Sounds like you got screwed.

所以西康科德的99餐厅下地狱去吧。

So the nines in West Concord can burn in hell.

他刚走开，服务员就过来说，对不起。

Right after he walked away, the the waitress comes over and goes, I'm sorry.

要我再给您拿瓶百威啤酒吗？

Can I get you another Budweiser?

它们要9美元。

They're $9.

所以，没错，那家九号分店就该下地狱。

So, yeah, that location of the nines can burn in hell.

我，你知道的，我不是个疯子。

I, you know, I'm not a psycho.

他们有免费的超棒爆米花。

They got great popcorn that's free.

他们有超棒的50美分鸡翅。

They got great 50¢ wings.

他们有超棒的金色狂热鸡翅，还有现在很少地方有的百威精选啤酒。

They got great golden fever wings, and they got bud select, which very few places have nowadays.

但如果只是西康克德那家九号分店从地球上消失，你知道，我眼皮都不会眨一下。

But if just the West Conquered Nines location fell into the earth, you know, wouldn't skip a heartbeat.

另外，既然我们说到这个，那家分店还有个促销活动。

The other thing that, while we're talking about it, that location had was a promotion.

他们在吧台后面放了个桶，你可以用吸管包装纸投进桶里。

They they put a bucket up behind the bar and and you get to shoot your straw wrapper at the bucket.

如果你把吸管包装纸投进桶里，就能得到一份免费的开胃菜。

And if you made your straw wrapper into the bucket, you got a free appetizer.

这可能是手眼协调史上最简单的投篮了。

The shot was maybe the easiest shot in the history of hand eye coordination.

除非你是个酗酒的盲人，否则根本不可能投不中——而九号店的大部分顾客正是如此。

The only way you'd miss it is if you were a blind alcoholic, which most of the Nine's patrons are.

所以五个骗子走进来也不能全怪他们。

So it's not really on them that five ringers walked in.

大概这就是为什么螺丝会出现在玉米片里，不过嘛...

Probably why the screw ended up in the nachos, but you know, still.

还有什么新鲜事吗？

What else is going on?

舰队。

Fleets.

舰队。

Fleets.

我前几天搞了个舰队。

I did a fleet the other day.

说真的，搞不懂推特在想什么。

You know, don't really know what Twitter's thinking.

我猜推特用户大概不是最上镜的群体。

I'm gonna throw out a guess that the Twitter audience is probably not the most photogenic audience.

大多数人的用户名都是什么'我恨天空69'或者'超大号老二27'之类的。

Most people's names are like, you know, I hate the sky 69 or, you know, really big dick 27.

头像还是张假的海绵图片。

And it's like a fake picture of a sponge.

所以这些人大概不想被看到吧。

So probably not people who want to be seen.

懂我意思吗？

You know?

这应用不是给那些16岁想跳舞的孩子们用的，你懂的。

The app's not for 16 year olds, you know, who wanna do a dance routine.

明白吗？

You know?

这应用是给那些失业的成年人用来对坎迪斯·欧文斯大喊大叫的。

The app's for unemployed adults who wanna yell about Candace Owens.

所以真不觉得视频功能能长久。

So don't really think the videos are gonna stick.

你知道的，不明白为什么要这样对待Twitter的忠实用户，或许该取消这些功能。

You know, don't know why you would do that to your loyal constituents' Twitter, but maybe get rid of them.

是啊。

Yeah.

除此之外，下周的感恩节感觉现在过节还挺奇怪的。

Other than that, you know, Thanksgiving next week seems weird to still have holidays.

当然，如果要回家过节那是个人选择，但总觉得我们现在不该庆祝任何节日。

You know, obviously, choice if you're going home, whatever, but doesn't really seem like we should be celebrating any holidays.

不是因为疫情，只是，你知道的，我们连个总统都没有。

Not because of COVID, just because, you know, we don't have a president.

国家都快名存实亡了。

There's barely a country.

懂吗？

You know?

感觉就像，我们仿佛身处人质劫持现场。

Seems like, feels like we're like in like a hostage situation.

就像被某个地下室的疯子囚禁了两年，周围一片漆黑。

Like we've been trapped somewhere for like two years by some psychopath in a basement, and it's super dark.

然后你们中有人某天突然转头说：'今天是感恩节欸'。

And then one of you just like randomly one day looks over and is like, it's it's Thanksgiving.

谁他妈在乎有没有蔓越莓酱。

Like, don't give a fuck if there's cranberry sauce.

明白吗？

You know?

我们要死了。

We're gonna die.

是啊。

Yeah.

我想我们时间到了。

I think we're at time.

这就是一分钟播客的全部内容。

This has been the one minute podcast.

一分钟播客由格雷厄姆·萨克斯制作，录制于

The one minute podcast is produced by Graham Sachs and recorded in.

我的

My