步入2026自律女孩时代 | 冬季篇章101：如何通过奉献、习惯与结构化日程实现自律

大家好，欢迎或欢迎回到《更好的你》。

Hello everyone and welcome or welcome back to Better You.

我是主持人费尔南多·拉米雷斯，欢迎回到播客的又一期节目。

I'm your host, Fernando Ramirez, welcome back to another episode of the podcast.

如果你是第一次收听，这个空间专为内在成长、自我认知和有意识的生活而设。

If you are new here, this is a space that created for inner growth, self understanding and intentional living.

我对今天的节目内容感到无比兴奋。

And I could not be more excited for today's episode.

我们将讨论如何在2025年剩下的几周里专注提升，

We are going to be talking about the winter lock in, how we're gonna lock in for the rest of 2025, which is only a few little weeks here.

以及如何将这种势头延续到2026年。虽然我发布这段视频时还是11月，但新年内容已经开始充斥我的推荐页面。

And then how we're going to continue that trajectory into 2020 Now, I know it is only November when I'm posting this video, but New Year's content is already starting to flood my for you page.

新年的念头已经开始浮现在我的脑海，我自己也已经为2026年制定了一些计划。

New Year's thoughts are already starting to enter my mind and I myself have already made some plans for 2026.

正因如此，我已经开始培养一些习惯，以确保以正确的心态和意图步入2026年，为成功做好准备。

Having that said, I've already put some habits into place so that I walk into 2026 with the right mindset, the right intentions, and just setting myself up for success.

我们将讨论你需要做的一切来征服这个季节，并且我们会详细探讨如何进入你的自律女孩时代的各种技巧和窍门。

We will be talking about everything that you need to do to conquer this season and we're going to talk all about tips and hacks for how to lock into your discipline girl era.

我知道对我自己来说，过去这一年更多的是自由流动而非超级严格的自律。

I know for myself this past year, it was a little bit more free flowing than super structured discipline.

我觉得自己持有的是奉献精神优先于纪律性的心态。

And I feel like I had this mentality of devotion over discipline.

我们稍后会讨论这个话题及其确切含义。

We will talk about that later and what exactly that means.

但进入2026年，我想将两者结合起来，不仅要出于对目标和日常事务的奉献精神行事，同时也要通过纪律性来实现。

But going into 2026, I want to integrate both of them and make sure that not only am I acting out of a place of devotion towards the goals that I want and the things that I do daily, but also through discipline.

以及我个人在未来几周内为心理上切换到专注状态所做的其他准备。

And some other things that I am personally doing over the next few weeks to mentally make the switch to locking in.

因为说实话，习惯和行动是一回事，但自我认知和思维模式的转变才是真正推动行动发生的引擎。

Because honestly, habits and actions are one thing but your self-concept and changing your mindset is a whole other thing that is the engine for the actual actions to occur.

不知道你们怎么样，但当我调整思维模式，通过一些小改变修正自我认知时，我感觉自己能比单纯培养习惯更彻底地进入专注状态。

I don't know about you guys, but if I change my mindset and I'd like fix my self-concept with a few little tweaks, I feel like I can genuinely lock in way harder than if I just give myself habits to do.

而我做这些事情并没有真正的动力或内在动机。

And I don't have an actual incentive or inner motive for why I'm doing those things.

在开始这期节目之前，我还想说一件事——我有个超级激动人心的消息要宣布。

Another thing that I wanna say before starting this episode is I have a super exciting announcement.

在上期节目中——如果你听过的话，如果没听记得去补看——

Now, in the last episode, if you listen to it and if you didn't, make sure you go watch that.

我曾提到即将推出一款产品，旨在成就更好的你。

I said that there was something, a product that I'd be coming out with for a better you.

现在距离正式发售只剩两周时间了。

It is officially two weeks away from the launch date.

所以这将是第一次正式预告。

So this is going to be the first official tease.

我之前稍微提过，我们将推出《更好的你》指导手册。

I kinda mentioned it before, but we are coming out with a better you guided journal.

朋友们，这还不是完整节目——届时我会详细讲述创作初衷、诞生过程、历时多久等所有细节。

You guys, this isn't the full episode where I'm going to be talking about why this came about, how it came about, how long it's been in process, like everything about it.

但今天我要在Instagram上发布预告片了。

But today is the day that I'm giving the teaser on Instagram.

如果你正在观看视频播客，我现在就把图片放到屏幕上。

I'll post the images on the screen right now if you're watching the video podcast.

但如果你正在收听而无法完全看到，一定要去我的Instagram，因为你们会看到我发布了这本日志的外观设计。

But if you're listening right now and you can't fully see it, definitely head to my Instagram because you guys will see that I posted what the journal is going to look like.

希望大家能在下方评论区留言，分享你们对封面、外观设计的看法，以及你们感受到的整体氛围。

I would love for you guys to comment down below what your thoughts are on the cover, on the outside, the vibe you're getting.

从今天到12月9日这两周内，我知道在日志正式上线前我有很多想法要发布，到时候大家就能实际购买了。

And throughout today to the next two weeks till December 9, I know I have a lot of ideas that I wanna post before the journal goes live and you guys can actually shop it.

所以接下来两周我肯定会制作大量关于日志书写的内容，同时也会分享产品创作过程的幕后故事，以及作为企业主和创作者更具创业精神的一面。

So I definitely will be making a lot of content on journaling in the next two weeks, as well as behind the scenes of what it is like to create a product and just maybe the more entrepreneurial side of being a business owner and a creator.

如果你对我的个人成长历程感兴趣，接下来两周我肯定会非常非常活跃。

And if you're just interested in me and my own journey, I will definitely be super, super, super active in the next two weeks.

所以再次强调，我想提前告知：你们的日程规划工具——'成为更好的自己'指导日志即将开放购买。

So again, I just kinda want to put that out there that marketing your calendars, be a better you guided journal will be available for purchase.

这是为圣诞节和新年购物的绝佳时机，因为我们正试图为2026年解锁新习惯。

It is a perfect opportunity to shop for Christmas and for New Year's because we are trying to unlock new habits for 2026.

我不知道你们怎么想，但像写日记这样的日常仪式对我来说至关重要。

And I don't know about you guys, but a daily ritual like journaling is essential for me.

你们都知道我热爱写日记，推出一本日记本与我的理念完全契合。

Y'all know I love journaling and coming out with a journal is something that is so aligned with me.

我真是太兴奋了。

I'm just so excited.

我感觉过去几个月、几周、几天里，我在心里已经积攒了太多期待，现实中我也在做各种小仪式和心态调整来为这次发布做准备。

I feel like I've been building up a lot of hype in my own mind and my own heart throughout the last few months, weeks, days, and, yeah, I'm doing all these little rituals and, like, mindset shifts in my real life to prepare for this launch.

这感觉就像我们要一起锁定目标，因为你们可能正在准备期末考试。

So it's almost like we're locking in together because you actually might have finals.

你们可能正在假期开始前赶最后的工作。

You actually might be doing some last minute work before the holidays begin.

而且，你们可能正在努力调整状态，好在圣诞节和新年时看起来光彩照人。

And, you know, you might be trying to lock in so that you look like a baddie on Christmas and for New Year's.

如果还没订阅YouTube频道的话，记得去订阅一下。

If you haven't subscribed already to the YouTube channel, also make sure to do that.

我们快有70万订阅用户了，简直太疯狂了。

We're almost at 700 k subscribers, which is freaking insane.

你可以关注'更好的你'。

You can follow a better you.

在Instagram上关注fernando，就能看到所有更新和即将发布的有趣内容。

By fernando on Instagram so you can see all the updates and fun posts coming up.

如果你在YouTube上观看，请给视频点赞，在下方留言，也可以在Spotify上评论。

And if you're watching on YouTube, give this video a thumbs up, leave a comment down below, and you can also leave a little comment on Spotify.

我一直在阅读并点赞你们的留言。

I'm always reading them and hearting your comments.

好了各位，为冬季做好准备吧。

Okay, you guys, locking in for the winter season.

现在这个时节想要专注可不容易。

This is a tough time to wanna lock in.

说实话吧。

Let's be real.

白天越来越短了。

The days are getting shorter.

天黑得也太早了。

It's getting dark so freaking early.

天气很冷。

It's cold.

到处湿漉漉的。

It's wet.

景色也很萧条。

It's ugly.

如果你感到疲惫憔悴，照镜子时觉得哪里不对劲，早上起床也变得困难。

If you're feeling like tired and pale and you're looking in the mirror and you're like something isn't right, it's just harder for you to wake up in the morning.

你更不愿意去做那些必须完成的事情。

It's harder for you to wanna do the things you need to do.

你只想躺在床上蜷缩起来。

You wanna just lay in bed and curl up.

我完全理解你的感受。

I am right there with you.

这非常普遍，非常正常。

This is so common, so normal.

如果不是因为生产力、内卷文化以及我们不得不做的工作，如果我们处于自然状态，现在正是该向内探索的时候，该躲进我们的小洞穴里，放慢节奏，更多地与自己相处，对自己更宽容些。

And if it wasn't for productivity, hustle culture, and just in general jobs that we have to do, if we were in our natural elements, this is the time to go inwards, to go in our little caves, to, you know, feel a little bit slower, to be with ourselves more and have more compassion.

遗憾的是我们很难做到这点，因为大多数人都有责任、工作和各种事务要处理。

Unfortunately, we don't really get to do that because most of us have responsibilities and jobs and things and whatever.

我说这些是想让你心里好受些。

But I say that to give you some, like, peace of mind.

如果你最近状态不佳，这完全正常。

If haven't you been feeling ideal, it's completely normal.

我也有同样的感觉。

I feel like that.

我的朋友们也有同感。

My friends feel like that.

你的朋友们也有同感。

Your friends feel like that.

这很正常。

It is normal.

在这段时间里，真正有帮助的一件事是自律。

The one thing that is really helpful during this time is discipline.

自律是一门艺术，它让你在当初立下承诺时的热情消退后，依然能坚守对自己的诺言。

Discipline is the art of keeping a promise you made to yourself long after the mood you made it in has faded.

这意味着即使你不想做，也要坚持完成自己说过要做的事。

So that means doing what you say you're gonna do even when you don't feel like doing it.

这正是能帮我们度过这个冬季的关键，因为正如我们所说，在这个季节里总会有不想起床去健身的时候。

That is exactly what is going to push us through this winter season because during this winter season, as we said, there's gonna be times where we don't wanna get up and go to the gym.

我们可能真的不想去上课。

We don't really feel like making it to class.

你当初兴致勃勃报名参加的艺术课，现在下午5点天都黑了，你根本不想去。

We don't really feel like going to that art class that you signed up for when you were like so inspired and now it's 5PM and it's dark out and you're not trying to go there.

自律就是对自己信守承诺，无论什么情况都坚持出现。

Discipline is keeping that promise to yourself, showing up no matter what the circumstances.

我在网上看到一句很喜欢的话：自律不过是最高层次的自爱。

A saying that I found online that I really liked is discipline is nothing but self love at the highest level.

有些人可能天生就具备更强的自律能力。

Now, some of us may be gifted with having higher levels of discipline.

也许你从小就参加某项运动培养了自律性，或者你天生就是个言出必行的人。

Maybe you were in a sport since a very young age that gave you discipline and you kind of like hardwired it into your brain or maybe you just naturally are someone that sticks to their word.

但我觉得很多人（包括我自己有时）很容易半途而废，忘记对自己的承诺。

But I feel like there's a lot of people and me included sometimes that can easily fall off and forget about the promise they made to themselves.

当我看到'自律是最高层次的自爱'这句话时，我突然意识到自律不该是刻板的规则体系，而是对理想自我的虔诚追求。

And I feel like when I see that sentence, discipline is nothing but self love at the highest level, it makes me immediately reframe like thinking of discipline as like a super rigid structured system that I need to obey and rather it's actually just devotion to that highest version of myself.

不过有个好消息：自律并非性格特质。

Something that is really great to hear though is that discipline is not a personality trait.

所以如果你正在听这段话，心想'天啊，我需要这个视频因为我不是个自律的人'，别担心。

So if you are listening to this and you're like, oh my god, I need this video because I'm not a disciplined person, do not fear.

自律是一种技能，就像肌肉一样，通过微小而持续的努力就能成长。

Discipline is a skill and just like a muscle, it grows with small consistent effort.

它实际上是一种练习，是你可以不断提升的能力。

It is actually a practice and it is something that you can get better at.

无论环境如何，每个人都能变得更加自律。

Everyone can get more disciplined no matter what the circumstances.

自律者的例子包括：优先考虑目标的人、遵循日常规律的人、能管理干扰的人、抵抗拖延症的人（这对我来说很难）、为自己的错误负责的人，甚至是注重身体健康的人。

Some examples of a disciplined person include someone who prioritizes their goals, follows a routine, manages distractions, resists procrastination which is tough one for me, takes ownership of their mistakes or even taking care of your physical health.

当我想到生活中最自律的人时，他们总是着眼长远，努力成为自己想成为的人——无论当下是否愿意。

If I think about the most disciplined people in my life, they're always thinking long term and they are striving to act like the person they wanna become whether they want to or not.

他们坚持所有步骤，所有微小习惯和规范，无论想不想做都坚持执行，因为那个最高版本的自己比当下的感受更重要。

They are taking all the steps, all the little habits and protocols and they are doing it whether they want to or not because that highest self is more important than the way they are feeling when they don't wanna do that thing.

他们能够接受延迟满足，这意味着选择对长期有利的事，而非当下感觉舒适的事。

They're okay with delayed gratification which means choosing what will benefit you long term rather than what just feels good right now.

他们拥有极强的能力，能在干扰试图分散注意力时果断说不。

And they have such a strong ability to say no when distractions try to pull their attention.

我认为体操训练从很小的时候就开始，这真的塑造了我的自律性。

Something I think really shaped me with discipline was being in gymnastics from such a young age.

当我参加体操训练，每周训练约25小时，接受那些当时相当严厉的教练指导时，无论我是否愿意，都必须遵守严格的训练计划。

When I would go to gymnastics and train like twenty five hours a week and I was being coached by trainers who were quite intense, you know, at the time or had a very strict routine, whether I wanted to or not, I had to show up to practice.

我必须进行体能训练。

I had to do conditioning.

即使不愿意，我也必须完成那些艰难的训练。

I had to do the hard things even when I didn't wanna do it.

我们必须按照规定次数完成技巧和套路训练，没有任何借口可言。

We would have to do skills and routines a certain amount of times and there was no but ifs or ands.

你只能照做，否则对你没有好处。

You just had to do it otherwise, it would not be good for you.

而且如果你想取得成绩，体操就是需要不断尝试、再尝试的运动，要着眼于长期效果而非当下的感受。

And also if you even want results, gymnastics is something that you need to keep trying and trying and trying and just think about the long term results rather than like how it feels in the moment.

多年的体操生涯让我明白为何要接受延迟满足，以及微小但持续的努力和习惯如何带来截然不同的结果和巨大回报。

Doing gymnastics for so many years really showed me why I needed to embrace this delayed gratification and how small but consistent effort and habits can lead to such different results and like a huge reward.

我认为自己生活中另一个体现高度自律的方面就是我的职业生涯。

Another way that I think I've been really disciplined in my life is through my career.

我记得刚开始在YouTube发布视频时，我对发布时间和内容都极其认真。

I remember when I first started posting on YouTube, I was so diligent with when I posted and what I was posting.

我记得如果有视频需要发布而我又有其他计划时，我会放弃计划优先保证视频上线。

I remember if I had like a video that needed to go up and then I had plans, I wouldn't go to the plans because I'd wanna get that video up.

必要时我会通宵达旦也要完成视频发布，我对工作始终保持着高度投入。

I would stay up all night to get this video up if I had to and I was just very committed to my work.

之前提到想从奉献的角度探讨自律，现在正是这两者的交汇点。

Now earlier I was telling you about how I wanted to talk about discipline through the lens of devotion and here is where the two connect.

奉献意味着对某人、活动或事业的热爱、忠诚与热忱。

The devotion means love, loyalty or enthusiasm for a person activity or cause.

奉献精神与那种强迫自己、苦干硬撑的典型心态有着完全不同的能量。

Devotion is a completely different energy from the typical force it, grind and push mentality.

我之所以提到这一点，是因为每当我想起体操时，尽管我热爱这项运动，但我的自律往往源于恐惧，或是知道如果不完成该做的事就会面临严重后果。

The reason why I bring this up is because often when I think about gymnastics, even though I loved doing the sport, my discipline came through fear or knowing that there would be a lot of consequences if I didn't do the things I had to do.

甚至如果我没完成该做的事，还会感到羞耻。

Even there would be shame if I didn't do what I had to do.

但另一方面，在经营YouTube时，我极度自律却不是因为有人在要求我必须这么做。

On the other hand, when it came to my YouTube, was super disciplined but not because anyone was telling me that I had to do it.

也不是因为有人强迫我，或是出于害怕，或是因为我对别人许下承诺必须履行。

Not even because anyone was forcing me because I was like scared or because I had made this promise to somebody and I had to fulfill it.

我能如此自律的原因，是因为我全心投入想要成为一名YouTuber。

The reason why I was so disciplined was because I was devoted to becoming a YouTuber.

我致力于将此作为我的职业、我的人生道路、我的创意表达、我的使命与人生目标。

I was devoted to making this my career, to making this my path, to my own creativity, to my own calling, to my own purpose.

我对自己的目标看得如此清晰，仿佛这就是我命中注定要做的事，因此我对这份事业倾注了全部热忱。

I saw my purpose so clearly and I'm like, this is what I meant to do that I was so devoted to the craft.

说真的，这听起来可能有点极端，但那确实是我当时的真实感受。

Like genuinely, it sounds intense but that's how I felt about it.

直到今天，我依然觉得追求一份非传统、不稳定且基于个人创造力的职业。

Even to this day now like I feel like to be pursuing a career that's not traditional and that can be inconsistent and that can be based on your own creativity.

过去六年里，有无数次我根本不想拍摄，或状态不佳不想拍，或不愿分享某些内容。

There has been so many times throughout the past six years where I have not wanted to film or I've not felt great to film or I've not wanted to share certain things.

但我依然坚持去做，因为我对自己选择的道路充满热忱。

And I do it regardless because I am devoted to that path that I'm taking.

所以我想分享一些既能通过实用自律技巧，又能通过热忱视角来提升自律性的方法——如果你真正热爱这个过程或渴望最终成果，你不需要强迫自己痛苦地坚持。

And so I wanna talk about tips and ways that you can be more disciplined through both practical like disciplined techniques but also through that lens of devotion and how if you truly love the process or you truly want that final end result, you don't have to force yourself through like suffering to make that happen.

你只需要明确那个终极目标是什么样子。

You just need to figure out what that end goal looks like.

找到你的'为什么'。

Figure out your why.

这才能真正让你坚持习惯。

It will make you actually stick to your habits.

这会让你保持一贯性，并学会拒绝与你目标不符的事物——因为你始终聚焦于那个最高版本的自己，那个你真正渴望达成的目标。

It will make you actually consistent and it'll make you say no to things that don't align with you because you're focusing on that like highest version of yourself or that goal that you really really want.

基于热忱的纪律性意味着：我如此深切地关心着自己将成为怎样的人，因此我选择坚持。

Devotion based discipline says, I care so deeply about who I'm becoming that I show up.

不是因为我必须这样做，而是因为我想要这样做——这就是一个例子。

Not because I have to but because I want to, that could be an example.

这是将你的能量倾注于你真正信仰的事物上，朋友们，这就是软实力。

It is giving your energy to something that you actually believe in and that my friends is soft power.

这正是我近年来努力想要更多体现的特质。

And that's kind of what I've been trying to embody more in recent years.

用我个人生活中的例子来说，因为我知道12月9日将发布新日记本（我再强调一次日期）

Using a personal example in my life, since I know that I'm coming out with a journal on December 9, I'll say it one more time.

我明白未来两周必须保持高度自律。

I know that I need to be very disciplined for the next two weeks.

这个目标本身就足以激励我——如果想要最终结果圆满，接下来两周就必须全力以赴。

That in itself is enough to motivate me like if I want that end result to go well, I need to put in the work the next two weeks.

但说实话，真正推动我前进的是：我发自内心地渴望获得好结果。

But honestly, what moves me more is the fact that I want the results to go well.

我想把全部精力都投入到这次发布中。

I want to put in all my energy into this launch.

我想要为我的观众、为我自己、为曾经如此渴望这一切的过去的我、为对首次发布充满期待的未来自己全力以赴。

I want to show up for my audience, for myself, for my past self that wanted this so bad, for my future self that's excited about my first launch.

过去一个月里，我一直在改变当前生活中的许多习惯，以匹配那个知道一切会顺利进行的未来版本的自己。

And I've been changing up a lot of habits in my current life for the past month in order to align with that future version of myself that knows it's gonna go well.

我知道如果想要特定结果，就必须改变现在的自己。

I know that if I want a certain outcome and I want certain results, I have to change who I'm being.

如果那个版本不是现在的我，就必须做出改变。

If that version is not me right now, something's gotta be different.

有句名言说：用同样的方法做事，不可能得到不同的结果。

There is a quote that says, you cannot get different results by doing things the same way.

希望这句话能在你收听本期节目时——以及节目结束后——深深印在你的脑海里。

And hopefully that is something that sticks with your brain when listening to this episode and when this episode is done.

如果我们想在2025年底、2026年获得不同的结果，就必须改变当前的做法，因为显然有些方法行不通。

If we want different results for the end of '25, for 2026, we must change what we are doing because something is clearly not working.

事实上，可能并不是你现在做的事情没有效果，而只是你对自己有更高的期望。

And in fact, it might not be that what you're doing right now is not working but it might just be that you want something more for yourself.

你想要一个不同的现实，在这种情况下，这已经足够了。

You want a different reality and in that case, that is enough already.

这已经足以成为理由说：我要采取必要步骤来实现那个现实，完成量子跃迁。

That already is enough permission to say I'm gonna take the steps that I need to take in order to get to that reality, in order to quantum leap.

让我们一起去实现它吧。

Let's let's go there.

我知道对于2026年的自己，我想要生活在一个完全不同的现实中。

I know for myself for 2026, I wanna be in a completely different reality.

我想要不同的结果。

I want different results.

我经常想到自己26岁时的样子，我想在26岁前真正进入我的创业时代。

Oftentimes, I think about myself at like the age of 26 and I'm like, by 26, I wanna be really in my entrepreneurial era.

你知道的，要制定所有这些计划。

You know, have all these plans.

我想要实现所有这些目标。

I wanna be doing all these things.

我不会告诉你们我的具体愿景是什么，因为有些事我得留给自己。

And I'm not gonna tell you guys exactly what my vision is because I gotta keep some stuff for myself.

但那个版本的我与现在的我截然不同。

But that version of me is like a very different version than I am right now.

有时我会抗拒改变，因为我觉得自己还没准备好转变身份。

And sometimes I would resist change because I'm like, I'm not ready to change identities yet.

我知道如果想要那些成果，就必须改变自己。

And I know that if I want those results, I'm gonna have to change myself.

这种想法本身某种程度上阻碍了我。

And so that in itself was kind of holding me back.

正是我自己贪恋舒适区的心态，阻碍了我蜕变成那个新版本的自己。

It was my own like wanting to stay in this comfort that didn't allow me to switch into that new version of myself.

就好像我几乎没允许自己去成为那个理想中的自己，因为我在心理、身体和情感上都还没准备好。

It's like I almost haven't given myself permission to embody that ideal version of myself because I wasn't mentally, physically, emotionally ready yet.

但现在，就像过去一个月甚至可以说自从我24岁生日以来，我感觉，好吧，我很兴奋。

But right now, as I've been for past like month or even honestly since I turned 24, I'm like, okay, I'm excited.

我对改变感到兴奋。

I'm excited to change.

我想要不同的结果。

I want different results.

我希望这些事情能为我所用。

I want these things to work for me.

突然间，所有这些习惯和我想在日常生活中改变的小事都变得更容易坚持了，因为在我脑海里，我已经完成了思维转换——我要改变行为方式，因为我想要不同的结果。

Suddenly, all of these habits and like little things I wanna change throughout my day have been actually easier to hold myself accountable to because in my head, I've already made the switch of like, I'm gonna change what I do because I want those different results.

既然我们已经谈到这个话题，我想说，如果你想变得更自律或改变行为以获得不同结果，我认为首先要做或应该做的，就是思考那个理想版本的自己。

Since we're kind of already on this topic, I wanna say that one of the first things that I think you can do or you should do if you are trying to become more disciplined or trying to act differently so that you can get different results is think about that ideal version of yourself.

你甚至可以在日记本上单独留一页，打开它，写下：我这个理想版本是什么样子的？

You can even make a little page on your journal, open it up, say what does this ideal version of myself look like?

她会做些什么？

What does she do?

她与谁为伴？

Who does she hang out with?

她有什么爱好？

What are her hobbies?

她参与哪些活动？

What are her activities?

她取得怎样的成绩？

What grades does she get?

她从事什么工作？

What job does she have?

她如何言谈？

How does she speak?

她如何举止？

How does she move?

她如何行事？

How does she act?

她穿什么衣服？

What does she wear?

她有什么习惯？

What are her habits?

她会冥想吗？

Does she meditate?

她有感恩的习惯吗？

Does she do gratitude?

问问自己，这个版本的自己是什么样子？

Asking yourself, what does this version of myself look like?

把它写在纸上，能让你清晰地看到理想中的自己应该做什么，与现在的你形成对比。

And having it down on paper, it gives you a really clear visual to see what your ideal version of yourself has to be doing versus the version of you right now.

我经常这样做些小小的自我审视。

I do that all the time where I do little self audits.

我会画个小自画像，然后思考：我现在在做什么？哪些进展顺利？哪些出了问题？

I'll make a little drawing of myself and I'll be like, okay, what am I currently doing and what is going well and what's going wrong?

然后当我描绘出理想中的自己时，突然我就明白了。

And then when I make my ideal version of myself, suddenly I'm like, okay.

我立刻看到了区别。

I immediately see the distinction.

我记得在《原子习惯》这本书里提到过：当你改变自我认同时，你的行为也会随之改变，因为自我形象会直接影响你的行为和决策。

I believe I talk about this in the book Atomic Habits but when you shift your identity, you will actually end up shifting your actions because your self image directly influences your behaviors and decisions.

如果我告诉自己我是个企业家，我在销售产品而且全部售罄，我是个女商人——这样的女商人会每个周末都出去派对到凌晨五点，然后睡到中午十二点吗？

If I say to myself that I am an entrepreneur, that I am selling products and they all sell out and I'm a businesswoman, does this businesswoman go out partying every single weekend and is like staying up till 5AM and then staying and sleeping till twelve?

这根本不可能。

It's literally not possible.

我的意思是，也许有些人可以做到，但在我的情况里，这两个版本的自己完全不一致。

Like, I mean, maybe to some and in some cases, but I just mean like those two versions of myself do not align.

有时候我会想象26岁时的理想自我——我想教瑜伽、办静修营、身体零炎症、身材紧致、拥有梦想中的体型。

Sometimes I think about this ideal version of myself at 26 and I'm like, I wanna be like teaching yoga and I wanna be doing retreats and I wanna be uninflamed and I wanna be snatched and I wanna have my dream body.

这样的形象和上个月隔三差五点外卖的那个女孩能匹配吗？

Does that align with the girl that's like was maybe me last month ordering Uber Eats every other day?

这两者就是无法匹配。

The two just do not align.

而如果我像过去一个月那样塑造自我身份，我就会说，好吧伙计们。

Whereas if I shape my identity as I did in the past month, I'm like, okay, guys.

我们要专注投入了。

We're locking in.

我正在成为商业女性的典范。

I'm embodying businesswoman.

我正在销售我的产品。

I'm selling my product.

它会卖光的。

It's gonna sell out.

我会大获成功。

I'm gonna kill it.

突然间我就想，这个周末我不会喝酒，因为那不是我理想中的自己会做的事。

Suddenly, I'm like, I'm not drinking this weekend because like that's not what the ideal version of myself is gonna do.

我不会熬夜出去参加派对，因为这与我试图塑造的自我形象不符。

I'm not going to stay out late and go party because that does not align with this version that I'm trying to embody.

突然间，拒绝这些事情变得容易多了，因为我已经在脑海中转变了这种心态。

Suddenly, is so much easier to say no to these things because I have shifted that mindset in my head.

也许两个月前，如果有人约我出去，我可能会更愿意，因为那时我还没有转变这种身份认同。

Maybe two months ago, if someone asked me to go out, I would have been way more down because I hadn't even shifted that identity yet.

现在我可以这样说：'哦，我已经戒酒几周了'。

Now I can say, oh, I've been like sober for this amount of weeks.

我真的不想那样做，因为那不是我现在的行事风格。

I don't really feel like doing that because that's just not something I do.

我之前用过这个例子：当我刚开始在YouTube发视频时，我没有说'我有时会发视频，想发就发'。

I've used this example before, but when I first started posting on YouTube, I didn't say that like, oh, I sometimes post YouTube videos and then post whenever I wanted.

我在心里告诉自己：'我是一个YouTuber，作为YouTuber，我必须每周更新'。

I said in my mind that I am a YouTuber and as a YouTuber, I have to post weekly.

实际上，仅仅是说出这句话，就让我比不给自己这个头衔时更能按照那个版本的自我行事。

And literally just saying that made me actually act in alignment with that version of myself way more than if I had just not given myself that title.

最棒的部分是，当你进行身份转换时，根本不需要告诉任何人。

And the best part is don't you have to tell anyone when you're making an identity switch.

你不需要写下来让全世界都知道。

You don't have to write it down and let the whole world know.

没必要搞得那么复杂。

It doesn't need to be that deep.

它可以只是你自己心知肚明，并积极尝试活出的样子。

It could just be something that you know for yourself and that you are actively trying to embody.

以我向女商人思维靠拢为例，当有人对我说'今晚有个活动要不要来喝酒通宵，超好玩的'时，我只需自问：'那个商务版的我会怎么做？'

For the example of me aligning with a more businesswoman mentality, when a test is being thrown at me and someone's like, do you wanna come to this thing and drink tonight and we're gonna stay up all night and it's gonna be so fun, I can just ask myself, what would someone like the business version of myself do?

如果不匹配，我就得坦然拒绝。

If it doesn't align, then I have to be okay with saying no.

当你的行为与身份认同一致时，就无需耗费太多努力和自制力。

When your behaviors align with your identity, it requires less effort and discipline.

另一个例子是：如果你认同自己是健康人士，自然会做出更健康的选择，而不必总是强迫自己。

An example of this also is if you identify yourself with being a healthy person, you will naturally make healthier choices without constantly having to force yourself.

过去几周里，每当我想进入专注状态、让自己更有条理和纪律性时，我都会制作一个习惯追踪表。

Something I've been doing in the last few weeks or whenever I'm in the mindset to kind of lock in and be a little bit more structured and a little bit more disciplined is I always make a habit tracker.

我会选择一些想每天坚持的习惯，给自己设计一个小表格，完成后可以贴贴纸或打个小叉。

I pick some habits that I want to do daily and I give myself kind of like a little chart so I can put a sticker or do a little x when I achieve thing.

这能给我一点外在奖励，让习惯养成变得游戏化，从而让我更愿意去完成它。

That gives me a little bit of an external reward and it kind of gamifies the habit so that I'm actually more inclined to complete it.

我现在正看着眼前的追踪表，把它贴在墙上随时可见真是太棒了，这样我就不会忘记。

I'm actually looking at the tracker right in front of me and it's been so great to have this tracker visible and on my wall so that I constantly see it and I don't forget about it.

我发现如果把习惯追踪表放在手机里，最后总会忘记查看。

I feel like sometimes when I put habit trackers in my phone, I end up forgetting about it.

培养纪律性的好方法就是给自己准备些工具，让你能不受情绪影响更容易做出决定。

One thing that is really great for discipline is giving yourself those tools that'll make it easier for you to make those decisions without relying on your mood.

如果你接下来一个月只想重点培养一两个习惯，这完全没问题。

If you can only pick one or two habits that you want to fully implement into your life over the next month, that is completely fine.

你可以先从小事开始，再逐步挑战大事。

You can start off small before moving to the big things.

如果你想突然改变生活方式，却给自己列了20个每天要做的习惯，很可能你根本无法每天都完成所有事项，这反而会打击你的积极性——你会因为做不到而沮丧，最后干脆放弃。

If you wanna suddenly change your lifestyle and you give yourself 20 habits to do every day, there is a big chance that you won't actually do all of those every single day and that might actually lower your motivation because you're gonna be like upset that you're not doing it and be like, I give up.

我不干了。

I'm not gonna do it.

但如果你只设定少量习惯，并且坚持每天完成，最终你会建立起强大的自我信任和信心，这会让你更愿意在习惯追踪表上添加更多事项。

But if you just give yourself a few and if you actually complete that habit every single day you're gonna do it, by the end of it, you're going to have so much self trust and confidence that you will feel more inclined to add more habits to your tracker.

同时这也会成为自我证明：我能完成困难的事。

And also, it'll feel like proof to yourself like I can do hard things.

我能实现自己设定的目标。

I can do what I set my mind to.

我习惯追踪表上的项目都是围绕'成为商界女性/创业者'这个目标的，比如每日冥想、每日自我肯定、每日愿景书写。

Some examples I have on my habit tracker that were specifically in regards to my kind of goals of being a little business woman and being an entrepreneur is meditating every day, doing my affirmations every day, doing my scripting every day.

这三件事更多是为了滋养我的灵性和内在自我。

Those three things are kind of things that are more for my own like spiritual and inner self.

但它们确实会外显在我的现实世界中。

But those definitely translate to outer self for me.

我还有一个习惯是锻炼身体，做瑜伽和拉伸。

I also have a habit of working out, of doing my yoga and stretching.

我没有写下来，但很多时候我会把喝水或健康饮食列入习惯。

I didn't write it down but a lot of the times I put like drinking water or eating healthy.

我还把每天打开电脑工作一定时间也列为习惯。

I also put as habits, opening my computer and doing like work for certain hours of the day.

另外还有拍摄和创意工作。

And I also had like filming and creative work.

我甚至做了一个小习惯追踪器，记录在每个社交媒体上发布的频率。

I even made a little habit tracker for posting on every social media app and like how often I wanna do that.

还有一件事我经常写在习惯下面，就是我想改掉的坏习惯，我喜欢称之为'隐形规则'。

And then something else I do which I always kind of write under my habits are the habits that I wanna break or I like to call it my invisible rules.

这些规则没人要求我必须遵守，是我自己强加给自己的。

It's like rules that nobody told me that I had to do but that I'm giving to myself.

所以过去一个月，我给自己定的规矩是：不喝酒、不参加派对、不吃油炸食品，限制糖分和垃圾食品摄入。

So for the past month, I told myself no alcohol, no partying, no fried food, and limiting sugar and like things like that, junk food.

这些是我个人的隐形规则，但确实也有些习惯是我想要戒掉的。

Those are my own personal invisible rules but there are definitely habits that I want to break as well.

有个习惯我过去总会写下来，就是写日记，但过去一年这已经成为了我真正投入的爱好。

A habit that I used to always write down was doing journaling but for the past year, that has been my hobby that I have genuinely been devoted to.

这真的非常有趣。

It's been so much fun.

所以老实说我忘记把它写下来了，只因为我每天都做，甚至不需要追踪它——这正是整个习惯养成的终极目标。

So I honestly forgot to write it down just because I do it every single day that I don't even need to track it which is the goal of this whole thing.

当它真正成为你的一部分，融入你的日常作息后，你甚至不需要提醒自己去做。

Once it actually becomes something that you embody and it becomes integrated into your daily routine, you won't even have to remind yourself to do it.

像自我肯定和写脚本这类我写下的习惯，我仍然把它们列为习惯，因为这些事我还没做到不需要提醒就能每日自觉完成。

Some of the habits I had written down like affirmations and scripting, I still wrote it down as a habit because they're not things that I do on the daily without having to remind myself.

再给你举些例子，比如午夜后不碰手机。

Some other examples for you could be no phone after midnight.

也可以是每天读五页书。

It could be reading five pages a day.

你可以培养一些围绕用餐、做家务和处理任务的习惯。

You could have some habits surrounding eating meals, doing house chores and tasks.

甚至可以是一些你真正想融入生活的更有趣的事，比如约会之夜或与朋友见面。

Maybe it could even be something more fun that you actually wanna integrate into your life like date night or seeing your friends.

你可以养成给朋友发消息的习惯，因为这是我们都需要的事情，我们都需要更多的社交圈。

You could have a habit of messaging your friends because that is something that we all need and we all need to have more community.

可能是给父母打电话、按时服药、使用牙线、在家做饭、投递简历、多花一小时做作业，或是多花一小时做个人创意项目。

Maybe it is calling your parents, taking your medication, flossing, it could be cooking at home, applying to jobs, maybe doing an extra hour of homework, maybe doing an extra hour of your own personal creative project.

无论是什么，所有这些小习惯都将帮助你成为理想的自己，把它们可视化地写在纸上会更有趣且更容易追踪。

Whatever it is, all of these little habits are going to help you become that ideal version of yourself and having it visually out on paper is so much more fun and easy to keep track of.

你甚至可以为自己完成整个小挑战后设置奖励，这可能是你完成挑战所需的完美激励。

You can even give yourself a reward for if you finished the full little challenge that you give yourself and that might be the perfect incentive you need to complete the challenge.

例如，我给自己设定了一个为期两周的包含所有这些习惯的挑战。

For example, I gave myself a Fern two week challenge with all of these habits.

等挑战结束时，我的日记本就要发布了，这将会非常令人兴奋，我打算办个发布会，期间可能会喝几杯鸡尾酒。

By the time it's done, I mean, my journal is gonna launch, which is gonna be so exciting, but I think I'm gonna do a launch party and I might have a few cocktails here and there.

我觉得把派对作为奖励会是个完美的庆祝方式，这对我来说更有诱惑力。

I feel like that would be the perfect little celebration making like the party the reward is a lot more enticing to me.

其实我对这件事非常投入，所以并不太需要纪律约束，但你应该能明白我想表达的意思。

Well, actually, this is something that I feel very devoted to so I don't really need the discipline as much but you get what I'm trying to explain.

我之前在这里写过：纪律始于微小的信任。

I had written down here that discipline starts with micro trust.

你并不懒惰。

You are not lazy.

你只是陷入了一个不信任自己承诺的循环。

You're just in a cycle of not trusting your own promises.

这正是我去年深陷的困境，我记得自己总是设定各种目标，比如‘我要开始每周发四次帖子’。

That is something that I was definitely struggling with the past year and I remember I would do that thing where you would give yourself all these like goals and you're like, I'm gonna start posting well, for me this was like, I'm gonna start posting four times a week.

我朋友都说：姐妹，你连一周发一两次都做不到。

And my friends were like, girl, you're not even posting like once or twice a week.

你说要发四次是什么意思？

What do you mean for?

我当时就说，哦，好吧，伙计们。

And I was like, oh, okay, guys.

没必要对我这么严肃嘛。

Didn't need to be so serious with me.

但他们是对的。

But they were right.

这就是为什么我们要设定这些微小习惯，更加信任自己，从而获得更多信心去追求更大更好的目标。

That is why we are setting these tiny little micro habits and trusting ourselves more so that we have more confidence to attack the bigger even better goals.

我想说一件事，这和我制定的隐形规则清单相辅相成——要确保你在自律道路上尽可能消除干扰和阻碍。

One thing I wanna say that kinda goes hand in hand with my invisible rules list that I made is making sure that you are eliminating as many distractions and blockages you can throughout your disciplined journey.

我很清楚，当我出去喝酒聚会时，最后总是睡眠不足、浮肿发炎，感觉糟透了。

I know for myself that when I go out and I drink and I party, I end up looking sleep deprived, puffy, inflamed, I don't feel good.

那种状态下，我很难展现出最好的自己。

It's hard for me to act like the highest version of myself when I'm in that state.

所以对我来说，我必须避免这种情况。

So for me, I need to avoid doing that.

另一个例子可以是在每天的第一个小时不碰手机。

Another example could be getting off my phone for the first hour of the day.

我知道如果我那么做，我的多巴胺就会流失殆尽，一整天都很难有动力去做事情。

I know if I do that, my dopamine is down the drain and it is so hard for me to have the motivation to do stuff throughout the day.

也许对我自己的一条隐形规则可以是早晨第一件事不刷手机。

Maybe an invisible rule for myself can be no scrolling first thing in the morning.

另一个例子可以是像对待工作一样重视睡眠。

Another example could be respecting sleep like it is your job.

如果你睡眠充足，可能会让你的一天轻松很多，实际上也能让你完成计划要做的事情。

If you have good sleep, it's probably going to make your day a lot easier for yourself and actually make you do the things you say you're gonna do.

也可以把这当作一点灵感，或许打开你的笔记应用或日记本，问问自己：是什么阻止我成为最高版本的自己？

Take this also as a little bit of inspiration to maybe go in your notes app, maybe go in your journal and ask yourself what are the things that are stopping me from acting like this highest version of myself?

是什么阻碍我养成每一个我为自己设定的习惯？

What are the things that are stopping me from doing each and every one of these habits that I'm setting myself out to do?

比如，是什么阻止我冥想？

For example, what's stopping me from meditating?

也许是因为我没有给自己足够的时间放慢节奏，总是处于过度兴奋状态。

Maybe the fact that I'm not giving myself enough time to slow down and I'm always overstimulated.

好吧。

Okay.

或许我们不应该每天听震耳欲聋的音乐和摄入那么多咖啡因。

Maybe let's not have super loud music and so much caffeine every day.

这一点我确实需要改进。

I definitely need to work on that.

也许我想做更多工作，但我问自己为什么没有去做？

Maybe I wanna do more work but I'm asking myself why am I not doing work?

可能是因为你没有随身携带笔记本电脑。

Maybe it's because you don't carry your laptop everywhere you go.

你知道，如果随身带着电脑，事情会容易得多。

You know, maybe if you bring your around, that would be a lot easier.

像这样的小事会让你的习惯更容易真正落实，几乎能让习惯成为你的第二天性。

Little things like that will make your habits so much easier to actually get done and it will almost make your habits second nature.

你甚至都不用再犹豫

You won't even have to second guess it.

另一个例子是把运动鞋放在门口，这样你看到它们就会想起要锻炼

Another example could be putting your workout shoes at the door so you see them and get reminded to work out.

我还用了一个小技巧，就是把所有维生素放在台面上，这样就不会忘记服用

Another little technique that I did was putting all my vitamins on my counters so that I don't forget to take them.

这些正是我们需要的支持目标实现的系统

These are the systems that we need that will actually support our goals.

我还喜欢在家里到处贴便利贴

Another thing that I like to do is stick sticky notes all around my house.

现在我窗户上就贴了好多，它们时刻提醒着我的目标和关注点

I literally have so many on my window right now and they just remind me of the goal and what my focus is.

我觉得有时候如果东西不在眼前，就会完全忘记它们

I feel like sometimes if things are not in front of me, I just like completely forget them.

所以把它们放在眼前确实对我很有帮助

So having them in front of me is something that really helps me.

把书放在床头柜上对我帮助很大。

Having my book on my bedside table very much helps me.

无论去哪里都随身携带日记本和笔，这确实帮助我养成了写日记的习惯。

Bringing a journal and a pen in my bag wherever I go also really helps me with the habit of journaling.

你看，你只是在让自己更轻松。

You know, you're just making it easier for yourself.

动力如浪潮，而系统则是承载你的船。

Motivation is a wave and systems are the boat.

我为自己设计的另一个小系统是让瑜伽垫一直铺开。

Another little system that I have for myself is leaving my yoga mat unrolled.

这样它总能激励我做瑜伽，因为垫子已经铺好了。

So it always motivates me to do yoga because my mat's already there.

还有件事是我把台式电脑搬到客厅桌子上，这看起来有点疯狂，但它让我比放在办公室里时工作效率高得多。

Another thing is I brought my desktop computer out to my living room table which seems insane but it makes me do work so much more than when it was tucked away in my office.

另一个例子是保持所有电池充满电，这样我随时都有相机可用。

Another example is keeping all my batteries charged so that I always have a camera ready to go.

我减少阻力的其他方法还包括提前摆好播客设备，这样只需插上电源就能开始录制，而不是把所有设备都收起来又拿出来。

A few other ways that I remove friction is by already setting my podcast equipment out so that I just need to plug everything in so that I'm motivated to film a podcast episode instead of like tucking it all away and taking it all out.

我还实现了帖子自动发布，这样就不用早上7点起床手动发布YouTube视频，而是提前安排好发布时间。

I also automate my post so I don't have to like wake up at 7AM to post my YouTube video but it's already scheduled.

有时当我需要专注时，甚至会删除社交媒体应用，以免分心。

Sometimes I even delete my social media apps when I'm really trying to lock in so that I don't feel distracted.

接下来我想讨论的是通过建立优秀的责任伙伴关系和营造支持性环境，来提升自律性并强化对目标或最高自我的投入。

The next section I wanna talk about to improve discipline and to strengthen the devotion you have to your goal or your highest self is by having great accountability buddies or partners and also a very supportive environment.

当我需要专注时，真正有帮助的是与同样专注或拥有相似目标抱负的人为伍。

One thing that really helps me when I'm trying to lock in is surrounding my myself with people who are also locked in or also have similar goals and aspirations as I do.

当我完成这个小小的思维转变后，我意识到自己必须专注起来，于是给几个我知道很专注的朋友发信息，提议约咖啡、一起工作，安排一个共同完成任务的日期——因为看到身边人展现出你渴望的能量实在太有帮助了，这让我感到兴奋，感觉能提升我的动力和对习惯的投入度，毕竟看到别人能如此轻松地践行它。

When I kind of made this little mindset shift and I was like, oh my god, I need to lock in, I texted some of my friends that I know are so locked in and I'm like, let's do a coffee date, let's get working together, let's like set up a day where we can get our shit done because it is so helpful when you see the people around you embodying the energy that you want and also it makes you excited and like I kinda feel like it it boosts my motivation and my own devotion for that habit because I see how somebody else embodies it so effortlessly.

比如说，如果我和派对好友们混在一起，说要戒酒就相当困难。

For example, it can be quite difficult to say I'm gonna stop drinking if I'm hanging out with my party friends.

这确实很不容易。

It's pretty tough.

但如果我和健身伙伴们一起活动，并且制定了许多日常计划，事情就会变得容易得多，我甚至不需要在‘该不该做’这个问题上纠结。

But if I'm hanging out with my workout friends and I'm doing a bunch of day plans, it is significantly easier and I don't even have to give myself the mental dilemma of should I do it or should I not?

这种能量是会传染的。

That energy is contagious.

所以如果你在日记里写下了所有想培养的习惯和你理想中的自己，那个最高版本的自己是什么样子，看看你生活中是否有人已经活成了那样，或者能激励你、启发你、教导你，甚至成为你的向导。

So if you have in your journal all the habits you want to start doing and the ideal version of yourself, what that highest version of yourself looks like, see if you have anyone in your life that is already living in that reality or that can definitely inspire you or motivate you or teach you or kind of be like a guide for yourself.

如果生活中没有这样的人，或许你可以主动去寻找。

And if you do not have that in your life, maybe seek it out.

比如，当我想找朋友一起健身时，我肯定会去健身房。

I mean, when I'm looking for like a workout friend, I definitely go to my gym and if I see the same people over and over again, I'll start talking to them.

我会说，'嘿，我们一起去健身吧'。

I'll be like, oh, we should do that workout.

这样也许就能找到健身伙伴了。

And then maybe you get a workout buddy like that.

我很喜欢有个能一起散步的朋友。

I love having a friend that I go on walks with.

我喜欢有个能一起喝咖啡约会的朋友。

I love having a friend that I go on coffee dates with.

其实昨天我刚和一位正在做学校作业的朋友去了咖啡店，而我在工作，这本身就让我更有动力完成工作，因为身边有个类似的小伙伴。

I actually just went to a coffee shop yesterday with my friend that was doing schoolwork and then I was working and that in itself made me so much more motivated to get my work done because I had like a little body double next to me.

另一件你可以做的事是与朋友、助理、同事、父母、朋友、家人或男朋友分享你的目标。

Another thing you can do is share your goals with a friend or with an assistant or with a or with a coworker, your parents, your friends, your family, your boyfriend.

这样他们也能在一定程度上督促你。

And that way they can kind of hold you accountable as well.

如果你们共同制定目标，或许可以一起期待小挑战结束的时刻，或是你们想要完成的事情达成的时刻。

And if you guys both make shared goals and maybe you guys can both kind of look forward to when your little challenge ends or when whatever you're trying to accomplish gets done.

我刚问朋友要不要一起做愿景板，我觉得这会让我做愿景板时更兴奋，因为我们可以互相激发灵感。

I just asked my friend if if they wanted to make vision boards with me and I think that this will make me so much more excited to make the vision board because we'll be bouncing off inspiration from each other.

我知道氛围一定会很棒。

I just know the vibes are gonna be up.

关于这个冬季篇章（也就是接下来的几个月）我想说的最后一件事是：记录你的胜利。

The last thing I wanna say about this winter arc which is the next few months that we've got going on is to track your wins.