解决讨好型人格与孤独的根本之道

而且，记住，他们永远永远永远都无法为你验证最深的真理、最深的爱和最深的满足感，因为那些只存在于你自己的内心。

And also, remember that they will never ever ever be able to validate for you the deepest truth and the deepest form of love, and the deepest satisfaction in reality, because that only exists within yourself.

这不是你能和别人分享的东西。

That's not something you can share with anybody else.

它只存在于你自己的内心。

It only exists within yourself.

你的朋友和家人不会为你的觉醒提供认可。

Your friends and family are not going to validate your awakening.

他们不会和你一起庆祝你的觉醒。

They're not going to celebrate your awakening with you.

他们不会有足够的意识，无法达到你通过这项修行所达到的意识水平。

They are not gonna be conscious enough to rise to the level of consciousness that you will rise to through this work.

你认识的人中，几乎没有人有足够的意识去理解或欣赏你所取得的成就，除了你自己。

Almost nobody you know will be conscious enough to understand or appreciate what you've accomplished other than yourself.

所以你需要开始改变你的奖励机制，让你仅仅通过自我认可和自我理解就感到完整。

So you need to start to change your reward mechanism such that you feel complete just within your own self recognition and self understanding.

而且你不会因此感到孤独。

And you don't feel lonely because of this.

你不会觉得被孤立。

You don't feel isolated.

你不会觉得被误解。

You don't feel misunderstood.

你不会觉得不被认可。

You don't feel unrecognized.

你了解自己内在的爱、善良和觉知。

You know your own innate love, goodness, consciousness.

你知道自己是什么。

You know what you are.

你，作为神，必须是宇宙中唯一一个承认自己本来面目，并沉浸于自己本来面目的存在。

You, as God, must be the only entity in the universe that acknowledges itself as what it is and basks in itself as what it is.

这对你达到人生最高层次的满足至关重要。

This is crucial for you to reach the highest levels of satisfaction in life.

等你做到这一点，你就不再是讨好别人的人了，也不会再感到孤独。

And by the time you accomplish this, you will no longer be a people pleaser and you will no longer be lonely.

至少不会像以前那样。

At least not in the ways you used to be.

不过，这里别误会，我不是让你离开家人，或者不社交，或者变成隐士，或者对人刻薄，或者对人怀恨在心。

Now, this does not mean don't get the mistake here, that I'm telling you to leave your family, or to never be social, or to become a recluse, or to be mean to people, or to be bitter at people.

完全不是。

Not at all.

我觉得保持一定程度的社交很重要。

I think it's important that you maintain some degree of socialization.

你不能完全变成一个隐士。

You don't just become a total recluse.

但最终，你要达到一个境界，那就是你生命中最深的爱、最深的满足感和快乐，都只来自于你独处时的自己。

But ultimately, you wanna get to a point where all of the love, the deepest love, the deepest satisfaction, and joy you get in life comes only from yourself when you are in solitude by yourself.

然后，当你出去面对世界时，你仍然可以去参加派对，去夜店，你可以去搭讪女孩，你可以生孩子，等等。

And then, when you're out in the world, you can still go to a party, can go to a club, you can go, you know, pick up girls, you can you can have children, whatever.

你可以和家人社交。

You can socialize with your family.

当你这样做的时候，就去做吧。

Then when you're doing that, do it.

但这只是锦上添花。

But that's just the icing on the cake.

那不是蛋糕本身。

That's not the cake itself.

人们犯的错误是，他们把社交当成了蛋糕本身，而它其实只是上面的糖霜。

The mistake people make is that they make that the cake itself when it should just be the icing.

你的核心必须扎根于自己，而不是寄托在别人手里。

The core of your being has to be grounded within yourself, not out there in the hands of other people.

因为那样会让你陷入一种不健康的关系，你必须为他们做事、讨好他们、为他们牺牲自己的价值观和真相。

Because that will then put you into this dysfunctional relationship where you have to do things for them, please them, sacrifice your own values and truth for them.

你将不得不撒谎、操控、编造故事，来玩这些社交游戏。

You're gonna have to lie, manipulate, construct fictions, and so forth to play these social games.

而且就算你全都做到了，也永远不会真正满足。

And even if you do all that, it will still never fully satisfy you.

真正的满足只能来自你自己的内心。

The only true satisfaction is within your own self.

所以既然你明白了这一点，我建议你努力去建立这种满足感。

And so now that you understand that, I recommend that you work towards building that.

那要怎么做呢？

And how do you do that?

其实很简单，就是练习在内心深处无条件地感受爱。

Well, just basically by practicing feeling love more deeply within yourself for absolutely no reason.

欣赏自己作为一个有意识的存在。

Appreciating yourself as this conscious entity that you are.

欣赏自己就是宇宙，就是神，就是意识，就是无限，就是绝对的爱，就是绝对的真理。

Appreciate yourself as the universe, as God, as consciousness, as infinity, as absolute love, as absolute truth.

哪怕只是坐在一个空房间里，你也应该能够深深地欣赏存在本身的结构。

Appreciate Just by sitting in an empty room you should be able to deeply appreciate the very fabric of existence itself.

这才是灵性真正的意义所在。

That's what spirituality is really about.

这会在你的生活中创造幸福的核，其他一切都可以在此基础上添加。

That then creates the kernel of the happiness in your life around which everything else can be, you know, additions built on top.

如果你没有这个核，从根本上说，你永远不会满足。

And if you don't have that kernel, fundamentally, you will never be satisfied.

再多的房子、车子、性爱或孩子都无法弥补这一点。

No amount of houses, cars, sex, or children will will correct for that.

再多的善行也无法弥补这一点。

No amount of good deeds will correct for that.

另外，有很多创造性的方法可以练习这一点。

Another way there's a lot of creative ways you can come up with to practice this.

比如，你可以匿名去为别人做一件好事，不让对方知道，然后自己保守这个秘密。

For example, you could go do a good deed for somebody without them knowing about it in anonymity and then just keep it to yourself.

不要告诉任何人。

Don't tell anybody about it.

通常，你知道，如果我们捐点钱或者帮别人做点好事，我们想要通过谈论它来获得赞扬。

So normally, you know, if we donate some money or we do something nice for somebody else, we we want the praise from talking about it.

我们会跟朋友说，告诉配偶我们做了这件好事，然后她会给我们一些认可，说我们多好，这会让我们感到开心。

We'll talk to our friends, we'll tell our spouse that we did this nice thing, and then she'll give us some some credit for it and tell us how good we are, and that'll make us feel happy.

不。

No.

别来这套。

Cut that shit out.

为别人做件好事，然后成为世界上唯一知道这件事的人。

Do something good for somebody, and then be the only person in the universe that knows that you did that good thing.

比如，也许你想拿500美元，放进信封里，然后把它塞进你邻居家的邮箱里，一个没有标记的信封。

So, like, maybe, you know, you wanna take a take $500, put it in an envelope, go stick that envelope into your, you know, somebody on your in your neighborhood block, you know, stick it in their in their mailbox, and it's an unmarked envelope.

你不写上名字什么的，然后也不告诉任何人。

You don't put your name on it or anything, and then you don't tell anybody about it.

然后，当你回到家，第二天坐在那里反思生活时，你可以感到开心，享受你做了那件好事的事实，因为你是个好人。

And then, when you come back home, the next day when you're sitting there just kinda reflecting on your life, you can just feel good and just bask in the fact that you did that because you were good.

你是善良的。

You are good.

那是你内在的普世善意的体现。

That was an act of your own universal goodness.

从自己的善行中获得快乐和满足，比任何人的赞美都来得更深刻。

And derive more pleasure and satisfaction from basking in your own goodness, contemplating your own goodness, than you ever would from anybody praising you.

你要明白，认识到自己内在的善良，比你的配偶、妻子或朋友夸你做了好事要珍贵得多。

And realize that you, realizing your own innate goodness, is worth infinitely more than your spouse or your wife or your or your friends telling you how good you are for doing that thing.

因为他们夸你的时候，是从非常物质的角度出发的。

Because when they tell you how good you are, they're coming at it from a very materialistic perspective.

你看，他们并没有与宇宙真正的善良以及你内心驱动你去爱和行动的善良建立深层的精神连接。

See, they don't have a deep spiritual connection to the actual goodness of the universe and the goodness within you that is driving you to love and to act in the world.

只有你自己能体会到这一点。

Only you can appreciate that within yourself.

你要明白，他们给你的赞美是表面的。

The kind of praise they give you will be superficial praise, you need to realize.

而且这会非常依赖于他们以及他们对你的评价。

And it will be highly dependent upon them and their judgments of you.

因为一旦你做了他们不认同的事情，他们就会停止赞美你。

Because as soon as you do something that they disagree with, they will stop praising you.

实际上，你看，也许你甚至去把那个装有500美元的信封放进邻居的邮箱里，然后你告诉你妈妈这件事，她甚至可能会责备你。

In fact, you see, maybe you even go and, you know, put this envelope of $500 into your neighbor's mailbox, and then you tell your mom about it, and then she might even chastise you.

她可能会说，哦，但你钱不够啊。

She might say, oh, but you don't have enough money.

你需要那笔钱，你知道，留给自己用。

You needed that money, you know, for yourself.

或者你为什么不把那笔钱给你兄弟呢？

Or why didn't you give that money to your brother?

你知道，他跟你更亲近，而不是某个陌生的邻居。

You know, he's closer to you than you're some random neighbor.

你知道，你为什么这么自私又愚蠢呢？

You know, why are you being so selfish and foolish?

她可能真的会这么说。

She might actually tell you that.

然后呢，这可能会让你有点难受，因为你打电话给她是想告诉她你做了件好事，你本来指望她能夸你几句，结果她不但没夸你。

And then, this might kinda make you feel bad because you you called her to tell her about something good you did, and you expected her to give you some praise for it, and then she didn't even give you the praise for it.

反而还批评了你。

She criticized you for it.

然后你就会觉得很难受。

And then you're gonna feel bad.

但如果你不告诉她，而是自己享受那份做好事的感觉，因为你自己知道你做的是对的，是无私的，哪怕别人不知道。

Whereas, if you didn't tell her and you just bask in your own goodness, because you know that what you did is good, you know that what you did is selfless, even though others may not know it.

那你为什么还需要他们的认可呢？

So why do you need them to acknowledge you?

直接切断那根线吧。

Just cut that cord.

剪断那根脐带。

Cut that umbilical cord.

别再指望别人来认可你内心的善良、你的爱、你的无私、你的觉悟、你的智慧。

Stop needing other people to acknowledge your own inner goodness, your love, your selflessness, your consciousness, your intelligence.

你自己能认识到这些就够了，就这样。

It should be enough for you to recognize these things simply within yourself, and that's it.

不过这里其实有个难点，因为这件事做起来比想象中要难，首先，它需要自我反思。

And then, actually, there's a trick here because this is actually harder to do than you would think, because first of all, it requires self reflection.

其次，它需要你放慢生活节奏，让自己真正有时间独处。

Second of all, it requires slowing your life down such that you actually have time for solitude.

大多数人都没有。

Most people don't.

大多数人连回想这周做了哪些好事的时间都没有，因为他们忙着追求下一件好事。

Most people don't have time to even contemplate the good things they've done this week because they're too busy chasing the next good thing.

他们甚至无法欣赏自己。

They can't even even appreciate themselves.

他们甚至不感激自己。

They aren't even grateful to themselves.

这情况就是这么荒谬。

That's how absurd this situation is.

如果你自己都不能为自己做的好事感到感激，那你怎么能指望别人为你这样做呢？

If you can't be grateful to yourself for the good things you do, how can you expect others to to do so for you?

你看，你自己都没意识到自己的好，天生的好。

See, you yourself don't even recognize your own goodness, innate goodness.

然后你还因为别人没做到而心生怨恨。

And then you get bitter at others for not doing it.

当然，别人也没在自己身上看到这点，因为要认识到自己天生的好，需要很高的觉悟和成熟度。

And of course, others don't recognize it in themselves either because to to recognize one's own innate goodness, this takes a high level of consciousness and maturity.

大多数人觉得自己不可爱、破碎、不配、有罪，以至于他们都不允许自己表扬自己。

Most people feel so unlovable, so broken, so undeserving, so guilty that they don't even allow themselves to give themselves praise.

因为他们成长的环境太严酷，自我表扬被视为一种奢侈。

Because the survival conditions they were raised in were so severe that that was considered a luxury.

所以很多人靠自我打击来激励自己，告诉自己有多差劲、多糟糕。

So a lot of people motivate themselves by brow beating themselves, by telling them how how shitty they are, how bad they are.

然后这就变成了一种整体的态度和生活方式。

And then this becomes an entire attitude and way of life.

你做了好事，却还是觉得自己不够好，永远都不够。

You feel bad about yourself even though you do good things, but it's never enough.

所以，想象一下下面这个理想状态。

So, imagine the following ideal.

想象你达到一种意识层次和精神境界，能够只是坐在房间里，就完全满足于坐在房间里，什么都不需要。

Imagine reaching a state of consciousness and spiritual development such that you're able to just sit in a room and just be fully satisfied with just sitting in a room without anything.

不需要做任何事。

Without having to do anything.

这甚至不是说你把一个装着500美元的信封塞进别人的信箱。

It's not even about that you placed an envelope with $500 into somebody's mailbox.

跟我要传达给你的这个终极境界相比，那都不算什么。在这个境界里，你只是独自坐在房间里，看着这个房间，你就被房间的存在本身深深打动，被现实世界最原始的物质构成所震撼。

Even that is bullshit compared to this ultimate level that I'm trying to communicate to you where literally just you sitting alone in a room and looking at the room, you are so in love and in awe by the existence of the room, by the physical just the raw physical fabric of reality itself.

你对这一切，对存在本身充满感激，光是这一点就足以让你心满意足了。

You are so appreciative of this and existence itself that that in and of itself is enough to satisfy you.

然后你越是沉思、沉浸在那个当下，在那个时刻的绝对真理和绝对爱之中，你就越能意识到那个当下、那个房间的精神本质，你体验到的幸福感就会越来越深。

And then the more you contemplate and bask in that present moment, in the absolute truth and absolute love that that moment is, the more conscious you become of the spiritual nature of that present moment, of that room, just the deeper and deeper sense of bliss you experience.

然后你就在纯粹的存在本身中陶醉了。

And then you bliss out on literally just existence itself.

而那成为你一天中最美好的部分。

And that becomes the best part of your day.

所以，不像你现在的生活方式，你知道，一天开始的时候，你出去，喝咖啡，然后匆匆忙忙去上班，做这个做那个，照顾孩子，做这做那，所有这些。

So rather than the way you live now where, you know, you go out there at the beginning of the day, you you drink your coffee, then you're rushing to to go to work and to do that thing and this thing to take care of the kids, and to do this and that, and all this.

然后一天结束时，你精疲力竭。

And then by the end of the day, you're exhausted.

也许你觉得你很有成效，因此你允许自己有一点快乐，因为你今天很有成效。

And maybe you feel like you've been productive and therefore you allow yourself a little bit of happiness because you've been productive today.

而不是那样，你白天做的那些外部活动，实际上会让你分心，无法回到家里，独自坐在房间里，沉浸在你存在的荣耀之中。

Rather than that, The external activities you do in your day, these will actually be distractions to just coming back home, sitting in a room by yourself and just basking in the in the glory of existence that you are.

然后，当你要做家务什么的，这实际上会让你从那种幸福中脱离出来。

And then, when it comes to doing your chores and stuff, this actually takes you out of that that bliss.

所以你去干活，干完再回来。

So you go, you do your chores, then you come back.

明白吗？

See?

然后你就不指望干活能让你开心了。

And then you're not expecting your chores to make you happy.

你也不指望工作效率能让你开心。

You're not expecting your productivity to make you happy.

你更不指望为客户说的或做的某件事能让你开心。

You're not expecting something you say or do for your clients to make you happy.

你可能会说，利奥，但这样活着是不是太自私了？

And you might say, well, Leo, but isn't this extremely selfish of me to live this way?

在这种自我封闭的泡泡里，我只是坐在那儿，在脑子里自我剖析。

In this solipsistic bubble where I'm just sitting there and sort of filleting myself in my own mind.

这看起来几乎有点不正常。

It seems almost dysfunctional.

其实，这看起来不正常，只是因为你所受的教育和周围大多数人追求幸福的方式才是真正的不正常。

Well, it seems dysfunctional only because the way you've been taught and the way that most people around you pursue happiness is the true dysfunction.

到处跑来跑去讨好别人，做事情来让自己开心，那才是真正的不正常。

Running around there trying to please others, do stuff to get happy, that's the true dysfunction.

你没明白的是，如果你能达到我所说的那种幸福和满足感，当你出去做家务、和别人互动、社交的时候——你仍然会做这些事——你将会从一个比现在更深的地方出发。

What you're not understanding is that if you're able to reach this level of happiness and self satisfaction that I'm talking about, when you do go out there and do your chores and interact with others and socialize, which you'll still do, when you do do those things, you will be coming from a such deeper place than you are now.

你不会像一只口渴的狗一样到处跑，从别人那里寻找一点满足感。

You're not gonna be like a thirsty dog running around looking for a little bit of satisfaction from somebody else.

你已经承担起责任，给自己应得的满足和爱。

You have taken responsibility for giving yourself the satisfaction and love that you deserve.

然后，当你身处这个世界时，因为你将如此满足和充满爱，你会自然而然地、自动地对他人充满爱和无私。

And then, when you're out in the world, because you're gonna be so satisfied and full of love, you will naturally, automatically be loving and selfless towards others.

所以看起来，通过退缩到自己内心，你变得孤立、唯我、自私。

So it seems that by withdrawing into yourself, you're becoming isolated and solipsistic and selfish.

是的。

Yes.

在一段时间内，可能确实会这样，因为你选择抽离，切断了一些社交联系。

For a certain period of time, it might be that way as you withdraw and cut off some of those social connections.

你可能不会像以前那样，像他们的小跟班一样，随时陪在朋友和家人身边。

You're not maybe gonna be there for your friends and family as much as you would've otherwise when you were their little lap dog.

确实如此。

That's true.

但之后你会以自己的方式回来，成为一个真正独立自主、有意识的存在。

But later you're gonna come back on your own terms as a truly sovereign conscious being.

然后，在帮助了自己之后，你就有能力去帮助别人了。

And then, after having helped yourself, now you will be able to be in a position to help others.

当你受制于他人时，你其实无法真正帮助他们。

You can't really help others when you're enslaved to them.

你明白吗？

You see?

这非常反直觉。

This is very counterintuitive.

说起来很矛盾，要想过最无私的生活，首先你得非常自私地把自己封闭起来。

Paradoxically, to live the most selfless life, first you have to live very selfishly by withdrawing into yourself.

你知道，佛陀的经典故事就是他抛弃了自己的家人。

You know, the classic story of the Buddha is that the Buddha abandoned his family.

据说佛陀住在宫殿里，过着特权奢华的生活，他有家庭，你知道，那时候的人都有庞大的家族，亲戚众多。

The Buddha supposedly lived in a palace, he had a life of privilege and luxury, he had a family, he had his you know, people had extended long families, you know, wide families back in those days.

他们，你知道，他整个宫殿里可能住满了家人，叔叔、阿姨、父亲、母亲。

They had, you know, he had a whole palace full of probably family members, uncles, aunts, fathers, mothers.

他有妻子，有孩子。

He had a wife, he had a child.

然后有一天半夜，他就这么走了，抛下了所有人。

And then he just, one day in the middle of the night, walked out on all of them.

连再见都没说。

Didn't even say goodbye.

就这么离开了他们。

Just left them.

想象一下，他们当时得有多伤心啊。

Just try to imagine how betrayed they must have felt.

然后他在森林里游荡了七年，冥想修行，追求觉悟，直到最终开悟，然后他回来了。

And then he wandered through the woods for seven years meditating and, you know, pursuing awakening until finally he awoke, and then he came back.

所以他并没有永远抛弃他们。

So he didn't abandon them forever.

他需要经历那段自私的时期。

He needed to go through that period of selfishness.

你可以说，那七年他非常自私。

You might say, he was extremely selfish for those seven years.

但那种自私是为了实现无限的自我，无私的自我。

But that selfishness was to realize the infinite self, the selfless self.

当他领悟到这一点后，他回来了，然后帮助他们也领悟到这一点。

And then when he realized that, then he came back, and then he helped to help them realize it too.

你看，如果你自己不能体会到爱，你就没法真正帮助别人去爱。

You see, you can't really help others to love unless you're able to realize love for yourself.

除非你能爱自己。

Unless you're able to love yourself.

所以，很多这些女性面临的问题——那些讨好型人格的人，很容易陷入虐待关系，并且被困在其中——是因为你们这些女士，你们有一种自我形象，认为自己非常有爱心、无私，但那不是真正的爱，也不是真正的无私。

So a lot of the problem that many of these women face, who are People Pleasers, who get into abusive relationships and so forth very easily, and get stuck in them, is that you ladies you have this self image of being very loving and selfless, but it's not true love and it's not true selflessness.

至少不是最深层次的那种。

At least it's not the deepest form of it.

因为最深层次的爱是自爱。

Because the deepest form of it is self love.

如果你深入做灵性修炼，并且觉醒得足够深，你会发现爱不是一种行为。

What you'll realize if you do the spiritual work deeply enough and you awaken enough, is that love is not something you do.

爱是一种存在状态。

Love is something you are.

善良不是通过做好事、做慈善、为他人鞠躬尽瘁来体现的。

Goodness is not something you do through good deeds and charity, and bending over backwards for others.

善良是你本来的样子。

Goodness is what you are.

我在这里说的这些，做起来并不容易。

And what I'm talking about here is not easy to do.

因为实际上，培养和提升你爱的能力，以及对自己善良的认知，并且仅仅因为意识到自己的存在就允许自己感到满足。

Because actually, cultivating and raising your capacity for love and for your own recognition of your own goodness, and just allowing yourself to feel satisfied for no reason at all other than consciousness of existence.

这真的很难做到。

This is this is difficult to do.

你的大脑不会想要这么做的。

Your mind is not gonna want to do this.

因为你看，你的自我意识控制你的方式，就是为幸福设定各种条件。

Because you see, the way that your ego mind controls you is by setting up these conditions for happiness.

因为那是它让你去做那些生存必需活动的方式。

Because that's how it gets you to do the survival activities that you gotta do.

而你需要这样欺骗自己才能在世界上完成事情，这一事实表明你并没有最高水平的动力。

And the fact that you need to trick yourself in this way in order to get stuff done in the world, this shows you that you don't have the highest level of motivation.

现在，可能有人会说，嗯，Leo，这听起来有点像自我洗脑。

And now, might some people might say here like, well, Leo, but this sort of all sounds like sort of self brainwashing.

你只是坐在房间里，自己骗自己开心，那不是真的。

You're just sitting there in a room sort of bullshitting yourself into happiness, and that's not truth.

那只是新时代那种一厢情愿的想法。

That's just some, you know, new age y wishful thinking type of stuff.

就是积极思考而已。

It's just positive thinking.

但如果我要出去建一个五千万美元的公司，那是客观的。

Whereas, if I have to go out there and build a $50,000,000 company, that's objective.

那是实实在在的。

That's tangible.

你明白吗？

You see?

所以，当我因为建公司、赚到一百万、或者和某个好看的人上床、或者养几个漂亮孩子而感到快乐时。

And so, when I get happiness for building that that company, for getting a million dollars, or for having sex with some hot person, or for for raising a couple of beautiful children.

这些都是实实在在的物质东西，所以那才配得上真正的满足感，而不是坐在房间里什么都不做。

This is tangible material stuff, and therefore, that's what deserves the true satisfaction, not just sitting in a room doing nothing.

那就像是在作弊。

That's like cheating.

嗯，这其实是唯物主义范式里比较深的一个部分，就是认为外在的物质世界比你的内在本质更真实、更可靠。

Well, this is actually sort of a deep part of the materialistic paradigm, is thinking that the material stuff out there is somehow more real and more true than your own inner nature.

而实际上，情况跟你唯物主义世界观里描述的是相反的。

And actually, the situation is the opposite of how you portray it in your materialist worldview.

并不是说你的百万美元、你的孩子、你做慈善的好事，或者类似的东西才是客观真实的。

It's not that your million dollars is what's objectively real, or your children, or the good deeds you do for charity, or something like that.

最真实的东西——那些都是幻象——最真实的是你自己的存在，你自己的意识。

The truest thing, those are all illusions, the truest thing is your own existence, Your own consciousness.

你内在的神性。

Your own God nature.

你自己就是宇宙。

Yourself as the universe.

你自身的美。

Your own intrinsic beauty.

这才是真正的真相。

That's the real truth.

这是绝对的真理。

That's absolute truth.

而世界上其他的一切，那些你以为客观的外在物质，都是衍生出来的东西。

And everything else out there in the world, the external material stuff that you think is objective, that's all derivative stuff.

那些都是次要的东西。

That's all second order stuff.

所有那些东西，它们的意义和存在都依赖于你的存在，依赖于你有意识，依赖于你是那个在梦境中创造这个宇宙的上帝。

All of that stuff only has meaning and existence predicated upon the fact that you exist, that you have consciousness, that you are God dreaming up this universe.

那些都是你梦中的幻影。

Those are all figments of your dream.

所以你需要做的是，重新记起你的主权，重新记起你的主权，然后以它作为锚点，从那里出发去行动，从那里出发去感受，从那里出发去思考，从那里出发去做你生活中的一切。

And so what you need to do is you need to recollect your sovereignty, recollect your sovereignty, and then use that as the anchor point from which then you take action, from which then you emote, from which then your thoughts come, and from which then everything else you do in your life comes.

如果你这样做，你就能克服讨好别人的问题，你就能克服对无尽物质的追求却永远无法真正满足的问题，你也能克服孤独的问题，你还能克服最终的问题——无法与他人分享宇宙的无限之美。

And if you do that, you will overcome the problem of people pleasing, and you will overcome the problem of materialistic chasing of endless things that never really satisfy you, and you will overcome the problem of loneliness, and you will also overcome the ultimate problem is not being able to communicate the infinite beauty of the universe with other people.

因为只有你能通过自己的意识，用心灵之眼看到宇宙的无限之美。

Because only you can recognize the infinite beauty of the universe with your mind's eye, through your own consciousness.

没有人能替你做这件事。

Nobody else can do this for you.

你可以分享那份美的一些片段，但无法分享全部的美。

You can share bits and pieces of that beauty, but you can't share the full beauty.

只有你能认识到完整的美。

Only you can recognize the full beauty.

现在，有很多方法可以开始练习这一点。

Now, there are many ways that you can begin to practice this.

就像我说的，你可以往邻居的信箱里放点钱。

Like I said, you could put some money in your neighbor's mailbox.

你也可以通过更懂得欣赏事物来练习这一点。

You could also practice this by simply appreciating things more.

比如，去做那些你通常只和别人一起做的事情。

For example, do things that you would normally only do with others.

开始自己去做这些事，不需要别人的认可。

Start doing them by yourself without needing their validation.

比如说，如果你平时从不独自旅行，那就找个地方自己去旅行。

So, for example, if you would normally never travel alone, go travel somewhere alone.

如果你觉得需要有人陪着旅行才能感觉好，不然就会觉得怪怪的、不自在，比如心里想，哎呀，我为什么要一个人去旅行呢？

If you think you need someone else to travel with to make you feel good, otherwise you feel kind of weird and awkward, like, oh, why would I travel somewhere by myself?

我为什么要一个人去餐厅吃饭？

Why would I go to a restaurant all by myself?

我为什么要一个人去游乐园？

Why would I go to an amusement park all by myself?

那看起来好像挺丢人的。

That seems kinda like a loser thing to do.

不。

No.

这其实是深层的灵性修炼。

This is actually deep spiritual work here.

如果你能一个人去游乐园，并且享受其中，欣赏它本来的样子，不需要一群朋友围着你，给你赞美，为你的冷笑话捧场，那你就有本事了。

If you can go to an amusement park all by yourself and just enjoy it, and appreciate it for what it is, Without having a bunch of friends following you around and giving you praise and laughing at your stupid jokes and so forth, then you got something.

看吧，那你真的就有本事了。

See, now you really got something.

你就在那里找到了真正的快乐。

You got true happiness right there.

去国家公园、海滩、美丽的城市或者其他地方旅行，就一个人走一走，带着那种孤独感、那种淡淡的忧伤、那种自我封闭的泡泡。

Go travel to a national park, to a beach, to a beautiful city or other place, and just walk around in it in this sort of solitude, this kind of melancholy, this solipsistic bubble.

不要跟任何人说话，就只是走走，欣赏一下。

Don't talk to anybody, just walk around and just appreciate.

看看周围，欣赏那里的美，沉浸其中，让那种美满足你。

Look around, appreciate the beauty that's there, and bask in it, and let that satisfy you.

让那对你来说就够了。

Let that be enough for you.

然后不断积累这种感觉，直到光是这样做就能让你获得近乎高潮般的愉悦。

And keep building and building upon that until it can give you almost orgasmic levels of pleasure just to do that.

然后，当你真的和别人一起旅行时，你会比以往任何时候都更加珍惜这段旅程。

And then, when you do go on a trip with somebody else, you will appreciate it so much more than you ever had.

我不是说你永远不和别人一起旅行。

I'm not saying that you never, you know, go on trips with other people.

我只是说，你可以把这件事变成一种练习，用来提升自己、锻炼自己，然后你依然能够社交。

I'm just saying that you can turn this into a sort of a practice to build yourself up, to train yourself up, and then you're still gonna be able to socialize.

事实上，我建议你还是要多社交。

In fact, recommend you do still socialize.

但要从一个更深层次的角度去做。

But just do it from a deeper place.

从满足感出发，而不是从绝望和渴求出发。

Do it from a place of satisfaction, not a place of desperation and neediness.

你还可以找到很多其他方式来加深你的满足感。

And you can find many other ways to deepen your satisfaction.

比如，享受美食。

For example, eating food.

一个人去城里一家好餐厅，一家真正好的餐厅。

Go to a nice restaurant, a really nice restaurant in town, all by yourself.

点一份你真正喜欢吃的，不管是什么，点一份好的。

Order a really nice piece of whatever you like to eat.

也许可以点一些你平时会吃但有点特别的东西，你特别喜欢的。

Maybe something a little exotic that you would normally eat, that you would love.

点那个，然后坐在那里慢慢吃。

Order that, And then just sit there and eat it slowly.

非常专注地吃。

Very deliberately.

好好享受，尽情品味，那种感觉是你和朋友在一起时永远不会有的。

And appreciate and enjoy the shit out of it in a way that you would never do with your friends.

因为和朋友在一起的时候，大家都在聊天、大笑、喊叫，分享故事什么的。

Because when you're with your friends, everyone's talking and laughing and yelling, sharing stories and stuff.

然后你吃的东西，你甚至都没注意到自己在吃。

And then the thing you're eating, you don't even notice that you're eating it.

你完全没意识到。

You're so unconscious.

当你坐在那里的时候，也好好享受这份独处。

And as you're sitting there, also appreciate the solitude of it.

你看，独处可能有点负面的意思，但也有积极的一面。

See, solitude can have sort of a negative connotation, but also has a positive side.

独处有一种积极的忧郁感，你一个人待着，可能会想，要是有人在这儿多好，比如女朋友、男朋友或者朋友。

There's a sort of a positive melancholic side to solitude where you're by yourself and you might feel like, wouldn't it be nice to have somebody here, like a girlfriend or a boyfriend or a friend?

但随后你放下这个念头，意识到，是的，那可能很好，但一个人待在这里也挺好的。

But then you let that go and you realize, yeah, that might be nice, but it's also nice just to be here all alone too.

我可以沉浸在自己的思绪里，好好思考和欣赏眼前的一切。

With my thoughts, I can just contemplate and appreciate what's here.

而且我也能珍惜这一点，因为现在身边没有别人，将来当有人在我身边，我可以和她聊天、分享经历时，我会更加珍惜。

And I can also appreciate that because there's a lack of other here In the future, when there is gonna be somebody next to me that I can talk to and share my experiences with, I'll be able to appreciate that so much more.

因为那时会有这种对比。

Because there will be that contrast.

我能够体验并满足于这两种情况。

And I get a and I can experience and and be satisfied with both situations.

我一个人可以感到满足，或者和别人一起分享时也能感到满足。

I can be satisfied by myself, or I can be satisfied with somebody else there with me partaking in that.

只有当你从那种状态出发，你才是真正自主的，才能真正做自己。

And then, only when you're coming from that place are you truly sovereign and Can you truly be authentic?

因为那样你就不需要别人陪在你身边。

Because then you don't need other people to be there with you.

你不需要去控制和操纵别人。

You don't need to control and manipulate other people.

如果他们来了，就来了。

If they come, they come.

如果他们不来，也无所谓。

And if they don't, it doesn't matter.

你依然可以享受自己的生活。

You can still enjoy yourself.

如果你从来没一个人去看过电影，那就去一次。

Go to the movies by yourself, if you never do.

好好享受。

And enjoy it.

享受的程度要和跟朋友一起看时一样。

Enjoy it just as much as you would with friends.

甚至要比跟朋友一起看时更享受。

Enjoy it even more than you would with friends.

因为朋友在旁边会聊天、吃东西，只会让你分心。

Because your friends are talking over you and eating food, just causing distractions.

好好享受。

Enjoy it.

看完之后，不要跟任何人讨论。

And then when you're done watching it, don't talk about it with anybody.

就在自己心里慢慢回味。

Just enjoy it in your own mind.

也许你看到了一部很棒的电影，或者发生了什么奇妙的事，然后你的本能反应就是，你知道的，发短信告诉朋友。

Maybe you saw an amazing movie, something amazing happened, and then your instinct is to, you know, text your friend and tell them about it.

忍住别这么做。

Resist that.

别发。

Don't do it.

就自己好好欣赏那部电影吧。

Just appreciate that movie as it is, by yourself.

因为你看，根本的事实是，最终你是宇宙中唯一有意识的实体。

Because look, the fundamental truth is that in the end you are the only conscious entity in the universe.

所以如果你不欣赏这个宇宙，还有谁会呢？

And so if you don't appreciate the universe, who will?

别指望你那群没意识的朋友，能像你一样深刻地欣赏宇宙。

Don't expect your dumb friends, who are all unconscious, to appreciate the universe at the level of depth that you can.

说到底，我在这里所做的，就是引导你对存在和现实产生一种非常深刻、深刻的欣赏，而这只能由你自己来完成。

Ultimately, what we're doing here is I'm trying to guide you towards a very deep, profound appreciation of existence and reality, and that can only be done by you.

这不是你的朋友和家人能替你完成的。

It's not gonna be done by your friends and family.

他们不会做这项工作。

They will not do this work.

他们会把整个存在视为理所当然。

They will take all of existence for granted.

他们甚至会把好事也视为理所当然。

They will even take good things for granted.

你可以和朋友去看一部好电影，但走出影院时，其中一个朋友，因为他就是个不知感恩的混蛋，会开始批评和挑剔，而不是欣赏，即使电影真的很好。

You can go to a great movie with your friends, and then when you're walking out with them, one of your friends, because he's just an ungrateful asshole, he's gonna be criticizing it and judging it, not appreciating it, even if it was really good.

他还会扫你的兴。

And he's gonna be rating on your parade.

我之所以这么肯定，是因为这需要训练。

And the reason I can be so sure of that is because this requires training.

这不是一两天就能做到的事。

This is not something you do from one or two days of work.

这是需要你多年培养的东西。

This is something that you cultivate over years.

而且大多数人不会去做。

And most people are not gonna do it.

他们甚至不知道应该做这件事。

They don't even know that they should be doing this.

没有人教过他们这么做。

Nobody taught them to do this.

如果你真的去做，你就是全世界少数几个会这么做的人之一。

You're the one of the few humans on the entire planet that is going to do this, if you do it.

如果你真的把这个能力练出来，十年、二十年后，它会给你带来极大的满足感和快乐。

And the level of satisfaction and joy that this will bring to you ten, twenty years down the road, if you really train this muscle up.

这就像肌肉一样。

It's like a muscle.

你得去锻炼它。

You train it up.

你将会拥有一种身边没人能理解的快乐。

You're going to have a level of joy in life that nobody around you can understand.

当你拥有那种快乐时，你没法跟别人分享，只能自己体会。

And when you have that joy, you're not gonna be able to share with anybody but yourself.

但这不成问题，因为你已经训练自己沉浸在自己的快乐中，最终你会感到完整。

But that's not gonna be a problem because you've trained yourself to bask in your own joy, and you will finally feel complete.

你还会克服几乎所有人都面临的一个问题，那就是觉得自己不值得被爱。

And you will also overcome the other problem that almost everybody faces, which is that they feel unlovable.

他们觉得自己不配得到爱。

They feel they don't deserve love.

其实解决这个问题的方法很简单。

Well, the way you solve that problem is really easy.

那就是自己给自己爱。

You give yourself the love.

你不断地给自己更多的爱，直到你意识到自己就是爱本身。

You give yourself more and more and more love until you realize you are love.

然后你会一直意识到你本身就是爱，宇宙就是爱，这样你就不再需要别人来给你爱了。

And then you're always conscious of the love that you are, the love that the universe is, and then you don't need other people to give you love.

然后你就不会再觉得自己不值得被爱了。

And then you don't feel unlovable anymore.

这也会解决你所有的自尊问题。

And then this solves all your self esteem problems too.

这非常反直觉。

It's very counterintuitive.

因为你看，自我意识已经劫持了真爱、幸福和满足感，利用它们来操控你，让你为它的生存目标服务。

Because you see, the ego mind has co opted true love and happiness and satisfaction to use it to manipulate you to do its survival bidding.

如果你不主动掌控这个过程，自己掌握主动权，你永远不会真正对生活感到满足。

And if you don't take ownership over that process and take control over it yourself, you're never really gonna be satisfied in life.

因为生存以及你的自我意识为了帮助你生存而构建的那些机制，它们跟幸福无关。

Because survival and the mechanisms your ego mind has has constructed in order to help you to survive, it's not about happiness.

它们只是为了生存而已。

It's just about surviving.

所以不管你多擅长生存，它永远不会让你快乐。

Which is why no matter how good you are at surviving, it's never gonna make you happy.

它本来就不是为了让你快乐而设计的。

It's not designed to make you happy.

唯一能让你快乐的，是你自己内心对满足感的培养。

The only thing that can make you happy is your own cultivation of satisfaction within you.

你自己的自爱，你自己对周围美的认识。

Your own self love, your own recognition of the beauty that is all around you.

如果你自己看不到身边的美，没人会替你做这件事。

If you can't recognize the beauty that is here, nobody else is gonna do it for you.

这不是你能外包给别人的工作。

This is not a job you can outsource to somebody else.

比如，你可以找人帮你修剪草坪，这没问题。

Like, you can get somebody you can pay somebody to cut your lawn for you and that works.

你可以花钱请人打扫房子，这也行。

You can pay somebody to clean your house, that works.

但你没法花钱让别人替你去感受生活。

But you can't pay someone to appreciate life for you.

如果你做不到这一点，你就会痛苦和沮丧。

If you can't do that, you're gonna be miserable and depressed.

你甚至可以让别人来爱你。

And you can also even get somebody to love you.

因为无论外界给你多少爱，都比不上你内心能找到的无限的爱。

Because no amount of love from the outside will be sufficient to match the infinite love that can be found on the inside.

而且，除非你得到无限的爱，否则你不会满足，因为那才是你真正的本质。

And you will not be satisfied with anything shy of infinite love because that's what you are.

在你意识到这一点之前，你永远不会满足。

And until you realize that, you will never be satisfied.

因为在内心深处，意识知道它是什么，它渴望回归自己的真实本性，那就是无限的爱。

Because deep down, consciousness knows what it is, and consciousness is seeking to reunite with its true nature, which is infinite love.

还有美、智慧和善良。

And beauty, and intelligence, and goodness.

这些其实都在你心里，但被层层的社会规训、恐惧、内疚、羞耻、坏习惯、生存模式、灌输教育，还有从老师和父母那里学来的错误信念给掩盖了，以至于你跟自己内在的神性本质失去了联系。

These are all things inside of you, but they have been so obscured by layers of social conditioning, and fear, and guilt, and shame, and bad habits, and survival programs, and indoctrination, and bad beliefs that you got from teachers and parents that you don't you're out of touch with your own divine nature within.

你看，你得自己去发现这一点。

You see, you gotta discover that.

当你发现了，那才是你真正想要的东西。

And when you discover that, that's what you really want.

你一直在追逐的那些外在的东西，不过是你真正寻找的东西——内在神性——的廉价替代品。

All the external stuff you've been chasing has just been a poor substitute for what you were really looking for, the divine nature within.

而当你发现了它，讨好别人和孤独感的问题就从根本上解决了。

And when you discover that, that is the root solution to people pleasing and to loneliness.

这很反直觉。

Very counterintuitive stuff.

去看看我那期叫《生活的反直觉本质》的节目，里面有很多反直觉的例子。

See my episode called The Counter Intuitive Nature of Life, where I give many examples of counterintuitiveness.

这个就是其中之一。

Well, this is one of those.

把这个例子加到那些反直觉的事情的清单里。

Add this example to that list of counterintuitive things.

既然你现在知道了这些，你打算怎么做呢？

So now that you know all this, what are you gonna do about it?

你真的会下功夫去培养这种内在的觉知吗？

Are you gonna actually do the work to cultivate this?

因为如果你不付出努力，什么都不会发生。

Because if you don't do the work, nothing's gonna happen.

十年、二十年过去了，你还是会像以前一样痛苦，甚至更糟。

Ten, twenty years will go by and you will be as miserable as you've always been, even more so.

因为到那时候，你会后悔当初没有按我说的去做。

Because then, in twenty years, you're gonna be wishing you did what I told you to do here.

但那时候就太晚了。

But then it's gonna be too late.

所以现在就开始吧。

So start now.

想一些方法来开始练习这个。

Come up with some ways to start to practice this.

然后，当然，最终你需要做的是，觉醒到你内在真正的本质，那就是爱、善良、神性、绝对真理。

And then, of course, ultimately, what you need do is you need have some awakenings to your own true inner nature as love, as goodness, as God, as absolute truth.

那样会让你更加活在当下，更加脚踏实地，更加欣赏眼前的美。

And then that will make you more present, more grounded, and more appreciative of the beauty that is here.

明白吗？

See?

这会建立起你与现实的形而上学连接。

That's gonna build that metaphysical connection to reality.

然后最终发生的是，你开始越来越、越来越、越来越欣赏现实本身。

And then ultimately what happens is that you start to appreciate reality itself more and more and more and more.

就像，我不知道，比如现在我看到一把叉子，我就只是看着它，然后惊叹于一把叉子的智慧。

Even like I don't know, like these days when I look at a fork, I can just look at a fork and just sort of marvel at the intelligence of a fork.

这听起来可能对你们一些新手来说有点荒谬。

Now, this might sound absurd to some of you newbies here.

我知道，如果十年前或者五年前有人告诉我叉子有智慧，我会觉得你疯了，你是什么新时代的傻瓜之类的，你知道吗，说什么叉子有智慧。

I know that if somebody told me even ten years ago or five years ago that a fork has any intelligence to it, I would've thought you're you're crazy, you're some sort of New Age idiot or something like that, you know, talking out the intelligence of a fork.

现在，当我看到一把叉子，普通的餐叉，我的想法完全相反。

These days, when I look at a fork, ordinary dinner fork, it's exactly the opposite.

让我困惑的是，大多数人看不到餐叉里无限的智慧。

It baffles me that most people can't see the infinite intelligence in a dinner fork.

所以一切都颠倒过来了。

So everything gets turned upside down.

然后生活就变得非常深刻。

And then life just becomes so profound.

生活的深度，生活的丰富。

The depth of life richness of life.

这才是真正的丰富。

This is true richness.

不是关于外在的拥有。

It's not about external possessions.

这其实关乎你能多欣赏你所处的这个整个梦境的设计智慧。

It's really about how much can you appreciate the intelligence of the design of this entire dream that you're in.

然后光是看着它，你就会感到满心欢喜和愉悦。

And then just looking at it makes you feel full of delight and joy.

因为那些原本平凡的东西，比如一把普通的叉子、一辆车、一个人、一只猫或一只狗，你看到了它们的本质，那就是神的有限显现，也就是你无限的心智，是你自己心智的投射。

Because what was ordinary, just an ordinary fork, or a car, or a person, or a cat, or a dog, you see it for what it really is, which is a finite manifestation of the God, the infinite mind that you are, a projection of your own mind.

然后你就能看到并欣赏它的美，它内在的美和智慧，它的善良，以及它与整个宇宙整体的联系。

And then you can see and appreciate its beauty, its innate beauty, and intelligence, and its goodness, and its connection to the entire whole of of what the universe is.

好了。

Alright.

就这样。

That's it.

我说完了。

I'm done here.

请帮我点个赞，然后去actualize.org看看吧。

Please click that like button for me and come check out actualize.org.

那是我的网站。

That's my website.

在那里你会找到各种资源，帮助你走好这段旅程。

On there you will find all sorts of resources to help you along with this journey.

你会看到我的书单，里面有很多书，会详细解释这些概念，也能帮你验证这些观点，这样你就不会觉得只是Leo在灌输教条，而是会发现人类历史上其他聪明智慧的人也得出过和我类似的结论。

You will find my book list which has a lot of books that will explain some of these concepts in more detail, and also help you to validate some of these things, so that you don't feel like it's just Leo telling you dogma, but rather you will see that other wise and intelligent people throughout human history have also come to similar conclusions as myself.

你会在书单里找到这些。

You'll find that on the book list.

你还能找到我的人生目标课程，里面有超过25小时的独家内容，教你如何找到人生的方向感，找到你最重要的价值观，并让你的生活与之对齐。

You can find my life purpose course, which is over twenty five hours of exclusive content on how to find your sense of direction in life, find your top values, and align your life with that.

这个课程非常实用。

It's very practical.

里面没有太多玄乎的灵性术语，就是非常实际地教你如何找到人生方向。

It doesn't have a lot of spiritual mumbo jumbo in it, it's just it's very practical about how to find your life direction.

你也可以看看我的博客，我一直在那里发布资源和视频，还有我分享的链接。

You can also check out my blog where I'm posting resources and videos all the time, links that I'm sharing.

别忘了看我的博客。

Don't miss my blog.

来论坛注册吧。

Come sign up to the forum.

论坛上有很有意思的讨论，我们也会分享一些好资源。

We have interesting discussions on the forum and also share some good resources there as well.

你可以通过patreon.com/actualized捐款支持我。

You can support me at patreon.com/actualized with donations.

我很感激这些支持。

I appreciate those.

谢谢你们的支持。

Thank you for those.

你也可以订阅我的第二个频道，叫Actualized Clips。

And you can also subscribe to my second channel called Actualized Clips.

我的编辑做得很好，把我所有视频的十分钟剪辑都发在那里，这样更容易分享、更容易引用，你可以更方便地链接到你的笔记里，比我在主频道发的那些好几个小时的长视频方便多了。

My editor is doing a great job posting ten minute clips of all my videos there, so that they're easier to share, easier to reference, you can link them in your notes easier than these giant multi hour long episodes that I do on the main channel.

所以去订阅那个频道，好好利用这个资源。

So subscribe to that and make use of that resource.

其实做这些剪辑并不便宜。

It's actually not cheap to make those clips.

我在剪辑频道上实际上是亏钱的。

I actually lose money on the clips channel.

所以如果你们不用的话，我就不做了。

So if you guys aren't using it, I'll stop doing it.

所以趁它还在，好好利用这个资源吧。

So make use of that resource while it's there.

就这样。

And that is that.

最后我想让你们注意到的是，你生活中的很多问题可以在多个层面上解决。

What I want you to notice here in conclusion is that many of the problems in your life can be solved at multiple levels.

对于孤独问题或者讨好别人的问题，你可以找到很多相当肤浅的解决方案。

You can find a lot of solutions to the problem of loneliness or to the problem of people pleasing that are rather shallow.

这类内容在YouTube上有很多。

You can find plenty of those on YouTube.

我今天给你的解决方案是很深入的。

What I gave you here was a very deep solution.

你要知道，深入的解决方案更难理解，也更难解释，需要更长时间，实施起来也更久，而且更抽象，更难搞清楚怎么落地。

Now, what you should know is that the deep solutions are more difficult to understand, they're more difficult to explain, they take longer, they take longer to implement, They're more abstract and it's it's a little bit harder to figure out how to implement them.

而且还需要你在生活中投入，可能要几年才能真正见效。

And they also take an investment in your life, multiple years to to really bear fruit.

但好处是，当你做了深入的长远投资，从根源上解决问题，你就不用年复一年地反复跟这个问题作斗争了。

But the upside is that when you make deep long term investments that solve problems at the root, you don't have to keep fighting the problem over and over and over again for years.

你可以用肤浅的解决方案跟孤独或讨好型人格的问题斗上十年，但永远无法触及根源。

You can keep fighting the problem of loneliness or people pleasing for for a decade with shallow solutions that will never hit it at the root.

我今天教你的方法能直击根源。

What I taught you here will hit it at the root.

然后，你就不用再忍受它了。

And then, you won't have to live with it anymore.

相反，如果你不从根本上解决问题，你会浪费更多时间。

Whereas, if you don't hit it at the root, you're gonna waste more time.

而且这个问题可能会伴随你一生。

And it might stick with you for the rest of your life.

你会感到沮丧，因为你可能会想，我明明在某个视频或书里看到了这个浅层的解决方法，但好像没什么用。

And you'll be frustrated because you'll be wondering like, well, but I you know, I did this shallow solution that I heard in some video somewhere or read in some book, and it didn't really work.

问题还在。

And I still got a problem.

然后你可能会开始觉得，自我提升其实没什么用。

Then you might start to think, well, self help doesn't really work.

其实如果你做得足够深入，真的认真对待，它是有效的。但如果你只是想在表面玩玩，那可能对自我提升的效果不会太满意。

It does work if you do it deep enough, if you really want to get serious about it, but if you just wanna play around on on the surface level, then you're probably not gonna be pleased with the results from your self help work.

所以，就像我以前说过的，生活就是这样，你付出多少，就会得到多少。

So again, like I've said in the past, life is designed such that you're gonna get what you put into it.

所以问题是，你想投入多少呢？

So the question is, how much do you wanna put into it?

那么真正的问题是，你想从中得到多少？

And really, the question then is, how much do you wanna get out of it?

你希望你的生活有多深刻？

How deep do you want your life to be?

你想拥有一种非常深刻、丰富的人生体验吗？

Do you wanna have a really deep, profound experience of life?

那你就得深入挖掘，付出努力，因为好事不会自己送上门来。

Well, then you're gonna have to dig deep and do the work because it's not just gonna land on your lap.

所以我教的所有东西，都是基于一个前提，那就是你想比普通人活得更深刻。

So everything that I teach is predicated upon the idea that you want to live life more profoundly than the average person.

如果你不想，那你在这里干什么？

And if you don't, then what are you what are you doing here?

你应该去看别人的内容。

You should go watch somebody else.

因为我讲的核心就是深度。

Because my whole thing is depth.

让我对做这些内容感到兴奋的是，这里面可能达到的深度。

What gets me excited to to do this content is the depth that's possible with this.

而且可能达到的深度深到你们谁都想象不到它有多深。

And the depth that's possible is so deep that none of you guys fathom how deep this goes.

即使我说过那么多东西，过去可能还夸张过一些，它比那些还要深得多。

Even with all the stuff that I've said and all the stuff that I might have exaggerated in the past, it goes way deeper than all that.

它的深度是无限的，根本无法用言语表达。

The depth of it is infinite and it's impossible to communicate.

不过，我还是会尽力在这里讲，至于你能走多深，真的取决于你自己。

But, still, you know, I'm gonna do the best I can here and then we'll how deep you go really depends upon you.

你想走多深？

How deep do you wanna go?