AEE 2534：如何得体地触及禁忌话题

这是All Ears English播客第2534期。

This is an All Ears English podcast episode twenty five thirty four.

如何尊重地提出一个禁忌话题。

How to broach a taboo topic respectfully.

欢迎收听All Ears English播客，已下载超过两亿次。

Welcome to the All Ears English podcast downloaded more than 200,000,000 times.

你是否在英语学习中感到停滞不前？

Are you feeling stuck with your English?

我们将教你如何通过注重交流而非完美，变得自信而流利。本节目由美国主持人林赛·麦马洪（英语冒险家）和米歇尔·卡普兰（纽约电台女孩）为您带来，他们分别来自科罗拉多州和纽约市，美国。

We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection with your American host, Lindsey McMahon, the English adventurer, and Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl, coming to you from Colorado and New York City, USA.

如需每周通过电子邮件接收文字稿，请访问allearsenglish.com/subscribe。

And to get your transcripts delivered by email every week, go to allearsenglish.com forward slash subscribe.

有一些话题，比如金钱、政治和宗教，在美国文化中通常被视为禁忌。

There are some topics like money, politics, and religion that are commonly off limits in American culture.

但如果你对其中某个话题有真正的问题，该怎么办呢？

But what if you have a genuine question about one of these?

今天，学习如何开口谈论这个话题，同时给对方选择的空间，并建立联系。

Today, learn what you can say to open up the topic and still give the person options while building the connection.

嘿，米歇尔。

Hey there, Michelle.

你今天过得怎么样？

How's your day going?

还不错，林赛。

Pretty well, Lindsay.

你呢？

How are you?

很好。

Good.

但我有个问题。

But I have a question.

你准备好了吗？

You ready?

好的。

Okay.

所以

So

你

do

当你与来自其他文化的人交谈时，是否曾感到不确定是否应该提起某个话题？

you ever feel unsure if you should bring up a certain topic when you're speaking with someone from another culture?

我的意思是，世界上有很多文化差异。

I mean, there's a lot of cultural differences out there.

是的。

Yeah.

当然。

For sure.

我的意思是，由于这些差异，我们总是不确定说什么合适或不合适，哪些话题是安全的，这可能会让人有点焦虑，你不觉得吗？

I mean, it can always be yeah, because of all these differences, we don't know what might be appropriate or inappropriate to say, what's and okay to it can be a little anxiety provoking, don't you think?

是的。

Yeah.

文化可以意味着非常多不同的东西。

And culture can mean so many different things.

它甚至可以指年龄群体。

It can even mean like age groups too.

对吧？

Right?

即使在我们自己的文化中，你也可能在和年长或年轻的人交谈，这也算在内。

Even within our own It could be you're talking to someone older or younger, and that could qualify as well.

所以这里面有很多内容。

So there's a lot there.

这一集的灵感来自什么？

What was this episode inspired by?

是的。

Yeah.

所以我们今天要跟进一下之前一集中讨论过的内容。

So we're gonna follow-up today on something we discussed in a previous episode.

各位，去听听第2525集吧。

Guys, check out episode twenty five twenty five.

那一集的主题是‘你在为什幺正在存钱？’

That was what are you saving up for?

在这集中，有一部分我们谈到了禁忌话题，以及当你不确定是否该提及某些事情时，可能会感到不适。

And on this episode, in in one part of it, we were talking about taboo topics and how it may be uncomfortable to touch on certain things when you don't know if it's okay to bring it up.

所以我们提到，希望我们的听众即使在面对文化差异时也能感到有力量。

So we we were saying that, you know, because we want our listeners to feel empowered even in these moments with cultural differences.

我们想给你们提供一些工具，比如：当你不确定是否该谈论某件事时，该说什么？

And we wanted to give you the tools where, okay, what what do you say if you're not sure if it's okay to talk about something?

所以这个节目的灵感就来源于此。

So that's that's where this episode idea came from.

再次提醒，是第2525集。

So again, that's twenty five twenty five.

听完这个之后，去好好听听那一期。

Head on over and listen to that one after you finish this one.

对。

Yeah.

没错。

Exactly.

我认为我们始终需要保持联系的意识，重要的是，首先，如果你已经在思考文化差异了，那你已经成功了一半。

And I think we always need to keep connection in mind, and it's important to be I mean, first of all, if you're already thinking that if you're already thinking about cultural differences, you've it's half the battle.

就像你已经赢了这场比赛。

Like, you've won the game already.

你已经对它很敏感了。

That's You're already sensitive to it.

没错。

Yep.

对。

Yeah.

你已经远远领先于许多人了，这很棒。

You're already way ahead of many people, which is great.

如果你不确定，问别人是否可以提起某个话题也没什么不对，是的。

And there's nothing wrong with asking someone if it's okay to bring up a certain topic if you're Yep.

如果你不确定的话。

If you aren't sure.

我认为这样做更好。

I think it's better to do it.

所以这就是我们今天想教给你的技能。

So that's what we wanna give you those skills to do today.

对吧？

Right?

没错。

Exactly.

是的。

Yes.

很好。

Good.

我想我们之前在讨论那一集，你知道的，三个禁忌话题，比如金钱、性、宗教。

And I think we were talking about that episode, you know, three of the taboo topics like money, sex, religion.

我的意思是，肯定还有更多。

I mean, there's certainly more.

是的。

Yeah.

至少

At least

这些在我们的文化中是禁忌。

those are taboos in our culture.

对。

Right.

对吧？

Right?

嗯。

Yep.

这才是关键。

That's that's the key.

是的。

Yeah.

没错。

Exactly.

我们马上就会谈到这一点。

So we're gonna get into that in just a second.

但首先，我想提醒大家，我们有一个非常棒的All Ears English应用。

But first, wanna remind you guys, we have an incredible app for All Ears English.

是吧，林赛？

Right, Lindsay?

我们有。

We do.

朋友们，去下载这个应用吧。

Guys, go on over and get the app.

这是一个更好的听力体验，因为作为应用的高级会员，你可以实时查看我们审核过的字幕，这些字幕值得信赖。

It's a better listening experience because when you're a premium member in the app, it is a way that you can actually see transcripts in real time that have been checked by us so you can trust those transcripts.

你还可以点击我们为你精选的单词，帮助你提升到下一个水平。

And you can also tap on words that we've selected for you that will bring you to the next level.

点击单词后，你会看到释义，可以进行练习，然后将其添加到你的重点词汇列表中。

You tap on the words, you see the definition, you can practice it, and then you can add it to your power list.

所以请前往 allearsenglish.com/app。

So go over to allearsenglish.com/app.

该应用支持 iOS 和 Android，是收听节目的更好方式。

It is available for iOS and Android, and it's a better way to listen to the show.

明白了吗？

Alright?

完美。

Perfect.

好的。

Alright.

行。

K.

是的。

Yes.

好吧。

So alright.

我们来聊聊。

Let's talk.

你知道，一般来说，在美国文化中，你不会直接问别人：你赚多少钱？

So, you know, generally, you probably wouldn't ask someone in the American culture, how much money do you make?

对吧，林赛？

Right, Lindsay?

对。

Yeah.

或者还有别的吗？

Or what else?

而且再说一遍，我们在这里说的都是基于美国文化。

And again again, everything we're saying here is per American culture.

没错。

Exactly.

在你们的文化中可能不一样。

Could be different in your culture.

这正是我们今天要讨论的。

That's what we're talking about today.

这才是有趣的部分。

That's the interesting part.

对吧？

Right?

你赚多少钱？

How much money do you make?

我们会避免。

We would avoid.

你信什么宗教？

What's your religion?

这相当直接。

That's pretty direct.

你相信上帝吗？

Do you believe in God?

这相当直接。

That's pretty direct.

还有关于性的问题，你知道，这些基本上都是禁忌。

And questions about sex, you know, those are all pretty much off limits.

当然，除非你真的很了解某人，并且已经打破了这种人际隔阂。

Of course, unless, you know, you know someone really well and you've broken that barrier of connection.

是的。

Yeah.

嗯。

Yeah.

嗯。

Yeah.

嗯。

Yeah.

而且，这在其他文化中可能完全不一样。

And again, this could be completely different in other cultures.

我的意思是，这挺有意思的，你知道吗，我之前跟你说过，琳赛，关于我快七岁的孩子，他不明白我们为什么不去问钱的事。

I mean, like, and it's interesting, you know, because I think I was telling you Lindsay a little bit about so my seven year old, about to be seven, didn't understand why we don't ask about money.

这挺有意思的，因为我在试着向他解释。

And it was interesting because I was trying to explain it to him.

我在向一个七岁的孩子解释，为什么我们不去问。

I was trying to explain to a seven year old, like, why we don't.

这真的很有趣。

That's really interesting.

嗯。

Yeah.

而且，我想我在思考为什么，我觉得这可以追溯到我跟他说过，因为你可能会问别人一些问题，这可能会让他们感到羞愧。

And, I mean, I think I was thinking about why and I think I think it goes back to be I I said to him because you may ask someone something and it might make make make them feel shame in some way.

羞愧是因为他们可能不想告诉你，也许他们赚了很多钱，却因为不想显得自夸或让别人感到不舒服而感到羞愧。

Shame because maybe they they don't want to tell you, maybe they make a ton of money and they feel shame about that in the way that they don't want to sound like they're bragging or make somebody else feel bad.

或者他们赚得不多，因此为此感到羞愧。

Or maybe they don't make a lot of money and they feel shame about that.

所以，我觉得这大概就是钱的问题所在。

You Or, know, so so I think that's kind of what it comes down to with money.

你怎么看？

What do you think?

嗯。

Yeah.

我just在想象我自己。

I I'm just picturing myself.

我不知道该如何回答这些问题中的某些。

I don't know how I would answer some of these questions.

说实话，米歇尔，我打赌你的孩子们每天都在挑战你。

Honestly, Michelle, I bet your kids challenge you every single day.

我想我会忍不住说，如果我儿子问我为什么，我就只说因为。

I think I would be tempted to just say if he if my son said to me why, I would just say because.

嗯。

Yeah.

嗯。

Yeah.

你知道，这么说一定很累人。

You know, it's it must be exhausting to say.

确实很累人。

It is exhausting.

然后有些事情我会想，哦，我本该知道这个的。

And and then some things I'm like, oh, I should know this.

但我为什么不知道呢？

But I why don't I know?

这让我开始质疑自己的智力。

And then it just makes me question my own intelligence.

我想，我上学时这部分没认真听。

Like, I wasn't listening in this part of school, I guess.

对。

Right.

对。

Right.

关于太阳系的问题，或者

Questions about the solar system or

像这样的事情

things like

吧。

that.

我的

My

天啊。

gosh.

是的。

Yes.

是的。

Yes.

地球？去问你爸爸。

The Earth is go ask your father.

嗯。

Yeah.

嗯。

Yeah.

我心想，哦，我

I'm like, oh, I

我想爸爸可能知道。

think daddy might know.

你知道吗？

You know?

但后来我就想，还是别总这样，因为你希望他意识到你也很懂这些事。

But then it's like, don't wanna do that so much because you want him to realize that you know things too.

哦，天哪。

So Oh my gosh.

但现在，有了科技，他会说：你能谷歌一下这个吗？

But now but now it's funny with, you know, with technology, he'll be like, can you Google this?

或者我们坐在车里时，他会问：我活了多少秒了？

Or we'll be we'll be sitting in the car and he'll be like, how many seconds have I been alive?

哇。

Wow.

嘿。

Hey.

好问题。

Good questions.

善于提问是聪明的表现。

Mean, asking good questions is a sign of intelligence.

没错。

So Exactly.

是的。

That's yeah.

是的。

That's Yeah.

嗯。

Yeah.

所以但让我们

So but let's

回到这个话题。

get back to this.

我的意思是，如果你不确定是否该问某个问题，该怎么说呢？

I mean, what can you say if you aren't sure if it's okay to ask a certain question?

所以我们来讨论一些想法。

So we're gonna go through some ideas.

对。

Yeah.

这很棒。

This is great.

所以我们可以说的一个例子是：问X可以吗？

So one example of what we can say is, is it okay to ask about X?

对吧？

Right?

在提问前加上这个小短语，真的很好。

And this is great just to preface your question with this little additional phrase.

但本质上，你是在询问这件事，同时也问了是否可以问这件事。

But essentially, you are kind of asking about it, but you're asking if it's okay to ask about it too.

对吧？

Right?

你把两个问题混在一起了。

You're blending two questions a little bit.

没错。

True.

没错。

True.

没错。

True.

没错。

True.

嗯。

Yeah.

比如，问你关于钱的问题可以吗？

Like, is it okay to ask you a question about money?

这只是一个开场白。

And that's an opener.

然后根据对方的反应，你能从他们的肢体语言中学到很多东西。

And then based on the reaction, you're gonna learn a lot from I the just body language there.

对吧？

Right?

嗯。

Yep.

我的意思是，本质上，承认你知道有些问题可能有点不合适，是没问题的。

I mean, because essentially, I think it's okay to acknowledge that you know something might be a little inappropriate to ask.

对吧？

Right?

我认为这真的表明你在认真思考这个问题。

And I think that really shows that you're thinking about it.

但你仍然在说，你不确定这个具体的问题是否适合问。

But you're still mentioning you're not sure if this specific piece is okay to ask about.

所以，比如钱可能是禁忌，但如果你问的是房价，那就不一定了。

So like, maybe you know money as taboo, but if you're asking about housing prices Right.

那可能并不是禁忌。

That may not be taboo.

或者，如果你没有问过于私人的问题。

Or, like, if you're not asking a super personal question.

比如，我说：你买房花了多少钱？

Like, if I say, how much did you spend on your house?

好吧。

Okay.

那是个私人问题。

That's a personal question.

但如果你问的是总体的房价，那就不是了。

But if I am asking about housing prices in general, that's not really.

是的。

Yes.

没错。

Exactly.

所以是个人问题与一般问题的区别。

So it's personal versus general.

对吧？

Right?

即使在我们的世界里，大多数情况下，如果我们的朋友买了房子，我们不会直接问，但会去Redfin上查找

Even though, I mean, at least in our world, most of the time, if we have a friend that buys a house, like, we won't ask the question directly, but we'll go to Redfin and find

地址，然后自己弄清楚。

the address, and we'll figure out.

没错。

Yep.

没错。

Yep.

没错。

Yep.

我知道。

I know.

现在一切都公开了。

It's all out there now.

关键是，没什么太多秘密了。

That's the thing is there are not too many there aren't too many secrets.

没错。

No.

确实没多少秘密了。

There aren't too many.

所以，我们为了避免这些禁忌而做的那些事，真是挺讽刺的。

So it's just funny what we do to avoid these taboos.

但你知道，拥有这种语言是非常关键、非常重要的。

But, you know, having this language is is so key, is so important.

我们还能说点别的什么？

What's something else we could say?

嗯。

Yeah.

你可以说：我知道这是个禁忌话题，但我不确定问一个问题是否合适。

You could say, I know this is a taboo topic, but I'm not sure if it's okay to ask one thing.

对吧？

Right?

然后问出你想要问的问题。

And then ask what it is.

对吧？

Right?

我知道宗教是个禁忌话题，但我不确定问一个问题是否合适。

I know religion is a taboo topic but I'm not sure if it's okay to ask one thing.

你庆祝圣诞节吗？

Do you celebrate Christmas?

你明白我的意思吗？

You know what I mean?

对。

Right.

对。

Right.

所以，我认为只要你表现出你在思考这件事，就能让你脱颖而出。

So just, I think showing that you're thinking about it is really it puts you on another level.

嗯。

Yeah.

这太重要了。

That's huge.

仅仅通过表现出你有所意识，就能让人尊重你。

Just the gesture of like you're aware an awareness is gonna make people respect you.

对吧？

Right?

如果你问错了问题，这种态度多少能为你提供一点缓冲。

Kinda kinda gives you a bit of a defense if you ask the wrong question.

至少你在思考。

At least you were thinking.

你努力保持清醒。

You were trying to be conscious.

对吧？

Right?

嗯。

Mhmm.

没错。

Yep.

好的。

Okay.

那么，米歇尔，我们还能说点什么别的呢？

So what's something else we could say, Michelle?

所以你

So you

你可以承认你的出身以及你为何对这件事不确定。

could acknowledge where you're from and why you're not sure about this.

所以你可以说，哦，我来自的地方，或者说，在法国，对，在法国，嗯。

So you could say, oh, where I come from or you could say in, right, in in France and Yeah.

英国或者别的地方。

England or whatever.

X并不禁忌。

X is not taboo.

所以性并不禁忌。

So sex is not taboo.

金钱并不禁忌。

Money is not taboo.

对吧？

Right?

但你可以这么说，但我不确定在这里或在美国文化中问这个问题是否合适。

But you could say, but I'm not sure if it's okay to ask about this here or about this in American culture.

然后你基本上就得

And then you pretty much have

直接提出问题，因为如果不说清楚，人们根本不知道你要问什么，我想问你的是，我们期待回应吗？

to go into the question because people don't really know what you're gonna ask if you don't like, I I guess my question for you is, are we expecting a response?

因为我们无法对那个做出回应。

Because we can't really respond to that.

我们必须得进入问题本身，因为人们不知道你要问什么。

We have to kinda go into the question because people don't know what you're gonna ask.

对吧？

Right?

所以，嗯，你可以这样，好吧。

So Well, you could you could like, okay.

你可以等对方说，哦，好的。

You could wait for the person to say, oh, okay.

是什么？

What is it?

然后你可以给出主题。

And then you could give the topic.

你可以说，哦，我的意思是，好吧，你可以稍微多提供一点信息。

You could say, oh, I mean, well, I mean, because you could give like a little extra.

我的意思是，你提供信息吗？

Mean, do you do information.

一点点提示。

A little hint.

嗯。

Yeah.

如果你不想把整个问题都透露出来，或者你还有点不好意思，你可以说，哦，在我家乡，金钱不是禁忌话题。

If you if you don't feel like you wanna give away the whole question, if you're still feeling a little awkward about it, you could say like, oh, where I come from, money is not taboo.

然后我不确定在这里问这个问题是否合适。

And then I'm not sure if it's okay about to ask about this here.

如果对方说，好吧，是什么？

And if the person says, okay, what is it?

你可以说，哦，这跟薪水有关，或者跟加薪有关。

You could say, oh, it has to do with salary or it has to do with raises.

对吧？

Right?

对。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

没错。

Exactly.

所以在你问多少钱之前，可以先给点提示，比如你真想提起这个话题，可以问你多少钱

So a little hint before you ask how much, you know, like if you do want to broach that topic, like how much do you

慢慢切入这个话题。

make easing into that it.

对。

Yeah.

没错。

Exactly.

好的。

Okay.

我喜欢这个说法。

I like it.

我喜欢这个说法。

I like it.

只是想在这里澄清一下。

Just wanted to clear that up here.

好问题。

Good question.

嗯。

Yeah.

嗯。

Yeah.

还有别的吗？

What else?

还有别的吗，米歇尔？

What else, Michelle?

你也可以这么说，这可能不合适问，但你知道，你是不是非常虔诚？

You could also say, this may or may not be okay to ask, but and then, you know, but do you are you very religious?

对吧？

Right?

比如，嗯。

Like Yeah.

这又回到了你之前说的，林赛。

This goes back to what you were saying, Lindsey.

我说的是，我不知道问这个是否合适，但我还是问了。

I'm saying I don't know if it's okay to ask, and then I'm asking it.

我还是觉得这样没问题，因为你表现出这种意识了。

I still think it's okay because you're showing that awareness.

如果有人对我这么说，我会说，哦，是啊。

If somebody said that to me, I would say, oh, yeah.

这确实是有点禁忌的话题。

That is kinda the taboo topic.

我不确定会不会对不太熟的人问这个，但咱们是朋友，所以我对聊这个没问题。

I don't know if I would ask, like, someone I'm not very close with about it, but we're friends, so I'm I'm okay talking about this.

对吧？

Right?

我觉得没必要非得这样，我觉得这个缓冲句——‘这可能不合适问，也可能合适’——是好的。

Like, I I don't think that anybody's gotta I think this buffer, oh, this may or may not be okay to ask.

你只是在表达这种尊重。

You're just you're showing that respect.

是的。

Yeah.

这关乎尊重。

And it's about respect.

没错。

Exactly.

这关乎尊重。

It's about respect.

你也可以问：‘你介意我问一个有点敏感的问题吗？’

You could also say, do you mind if I ask you a kind of taboo question?

如果觉得太私人了，告诉我，然后再问这个问题。

Let me know if it's too personal, and then I'm gonna go into the question.

对吧？

Right?

所以你给了对方一个退路。

So you're giving the person an out.

你明确地给了对方一个借口，可以说：对不起。

You're being explicit about giving the person an excuse to say, I'm sorry.

我们聊点别的吧。

Let's talk about something else.

我不太想回答这个问题。

I'd prefer not to answer that.

你知道的？

You know?

是的。

Yes.

太棒了。

Love it.

是的。

Yes.

实际上，我有个问题。

Actually, here, I have a question.

你有没有遇到过，比如一个美国朋友问了你一个完全禁忌的问题，然后你心里想，天啊，这更尴尬了，因为我们根本不会谈这个。

Have you ever had, like, a friend who an American friend ask you a question that is totally taboo, and then you're like, then it's it's even more awkward because you're like, wait, we don't talk about this.

嗯。

Yeah.

我觉得以前可能发生过。

I think it's probably happened before.

当这种事发生在自己文化圈子里的人身上时，确实很奇怪。

And it's it's definitely weird when it's someone from your own culture.

你会想，你应该知道这不合适啊。

And you're thinking like, you should know that this is not Yeah.

就是，我不知道。

Like, I don't know.

还记得有个朋友问我，我花多少钱买的公寓。

Remember I had a friend ask me, ask me like how much I spent on my apartment.

哦，对。

Oh, yeah.

我当时想，哦，我只是，我其实并不想谈这个，你知道，有时候人们可能想聊这个。

I was like, oh, like, I just, I didn't And really want to talk about you know, sometimes people might want to talk about it.

我不知道。

I don't know.

我只是不想透露这些。

I just, I didn't feel like revealing it.

而且，是的。

And and yeah.

我当时想，哦，是啊。

I was like, oh, yeah.

她确实可以。

She could yeah.

这种事发生起来真有意思。

It's it's interesting that can happen.

林赛，你还有什么想补充的吗？

Anything else you wanna add here, Lindsey?