AEE 2628：还有谁要去？可以问吗？

这是《All Ears English》播客第2628期。

This is an All Ears English podcast episode twenty six twenty eight.

还有谁要去？

Who else is going?

问一下可以吗？

Is it okay to ask?

欢迎收听《All Ears English》播客，全球下载量已超过两亿次。

Welcome to the All Ears English podcast, downloaded more than 200,000,000 times.

是不是觉得自己的英语进步卡住了？

Are you feeling stuck with your English?

我们会教你如何摆脱顾虑，流利表达，关键是建立连接，而不是追求完美。

We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection.

本期节目由两位美国主持人带来：英语冒险家林赛·麦马洪，以及纽约电台女孩米歇尔·卡普兰，她们分别从科罗拉多和纽约为你直播。

With your American hosts, Lindsey McMahon, the English adventurer, and Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl, coming to you from Colorado and New York City, USA.

想每周收到字幕邮件？请访问 allearsenglish.com/subscribe。

And to get your transcripts delivered by email every week, go to allearsenglish.com forward slash subscribe.

别人邀请你去参加派对时，提前问问还有谁去，这样合适吗？

When you get invited to a party, is it okay to ask who else is going before accepting?

听听为什么你最好别这么做，尤其是对新认识的人或朋友。

Find out why you might want to avoid this, especially with new connections and friends.

你有没有觉得自己的英语已经不错了，但还没达到你理想中的水平？

Do you ever feel like your English is good, but not quite where you want it to be?

也许你能正常聊天，但一表达复杂的想法就犹豫不决。

Maybe you can have conversations, but you still hesitate when expressing complex ideas.

也许你心里清楚想说什么，可就是说不出口，听起来不够自然。

Maybe you know what you want to say, but you can't always say it naturally.

如果这些情况你感同身受，那我们的B2英语流利课程就是为你设计的。

If that sounds familiar, our B2 English Fluency course was designed for you.

你会学会更自然地表达，自信地分享想法，彻底摆脱中级阶段的停滞感。

You'll learn how to speak more naturally, express yourself with confidence, and finally stop feeling stuck at the intermediate level.

这周报名，基础套餐立减50美元，私人教练套餐更是直降100美元。

This week, you can save $50 on our basic plan or save a $100 on our personal coach plan.

前往 allearsenglish.com/btwo。

Go to allearsenglish.com/btwo.

就是 allearsenglish.com/letterbnumbertwo。

That's allearsenglish.com/letterbnumbertwo.

嗨，米歇尔。

Hey there, Michelle.

今天一切都好吗？

How's everything today?

挺好的，林赛。

Good, Lindsey.

你呢？

How are you?

状态不错。

Feeling good.

能和你一起上这个播客，我很开心。

Glad to be on the podcast with you.

米歇尔，你有没有过邀请别人参加某个活动，结果对方却问还有谁去？

Michelle, have you ever invited someone to something and then they go and they ask who else is going?

是的，有这情况。

Oh, yeah.

这种感觉确实不太好。

That doesn't feel great.

没错。

No.

真的挺不舒服的。

It really doesn't.

我是说，这让你感觉怎么样？

I mean, how did it make you feel?

对啊。

Yeah.

说实话，你会觉得自己是不是不够好，或者就是觉得哪儿不对劲。

I mean, it makes you feel like, oh, so I'm not good enough or, you know, it just it just doesn't feel right.

你懂的。

You know?

确实不该这样。

It's really not.

这么说一点都不得体。

It's not a classy thing to say.

真的不该这样。

It's really not.

没错。

No.

绝对不该这样。

It's definitely not.

你有没有遇到过这种情况？

Have you been in that position?

有。

Yeah.

我觉得我年轻的时候，别人问过我这种问题，每次我都觉得这人没那么好了。

I feel like when I was younger, I I got that question sometimes, and that made me like the person a lot less when they asked me that.

对。

Yeah.

这其实能看出这个人的一些想法。

It kinda tells you something about the person.

是吧？

Right?

没错。

Yeah.

就是只想往有面子的人堆里凑。

That they they just wanna be around the cool kids.

你懂的。

You know?

对。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

也许你本身不算很出风头，但只要他们想凑热闹，照样跟过去。

And maybe you're not a cool kid, but if you if they're gonna be cool kids there, they'll go.

对吧？

Right?

这可不太好。

That's not that's not good.

没错。

No.

是啊。

Yeah.

所以说得很准。

So exactly.

所以今天我们要聊聊这种情况，以及哪些话不该说。

So today we're gonna talk about this situation and what not to say.

这其实是在最近一期关于和朋友一起决定去参加某件事的节目中提到的。

So this actually came up in a recent episode about deciding to go to something with a friend.

对。

Yes.

我回头找找看能不能把那期的编号发给你。

I'm gonna see if I can find that episode number for you later on.

不过如果找不到，你就随便翻一翻吧。

But if not, just, you know, scroll through.

你一看就知道，那期挺不错的。

You'll see it was it was a good one.

我得去注册一下。

I'm have to sign up for that.

是的。

Mhmm.

是的。

Yeah.

各位，在继续之前，记得点个关注，这样我们每天五期的节目就会直接出现在你的收听列表里，对吧？

So guys, before we go any further, make sure you hit that follow button so that you are The show is dropping right into your listening queue five days a week, right?

养成每天听《Allers English》、和我们一起度过五天的习惯，你的英语流利度一定会越来越进步。

Get into the habit of listening to Allers English, hanging out with us five days a week, and you will see that fluency start to get better and better.

明白了吗？

Alright?

是的。

Yes.

没错。

That's right.

对。

Yeah.

那么，琳达，我们来聊聊这个。

So, Lindsay, let's talk about it.

这种情况不太一样。

So this situation is different.

如果你在问‘谁会去’，就像上一期说的，那种问法听起来像是你决定去不去，完全看有哪些人会到场。

This is if you ask, right, in that other episode, it was if you ask who's coming to something in a way that makes it seem like you're the like, you're making your decision to come based on who else is gonna be there.

对。

Yeah.

这不太好。

Not good.

确实。

Not

不好。

good.

没错。

No.

不管是不是真的，如果你在回复邀请之前先问‘谁会去’，对邀请你的人其实挺不礼貌的。

Whether it's true or not, if you ask who is coming before you give your RSVP, it can be really insulting to the person inviting you.

完全同意。

Totally agree.

完全正确。

100%.

那今天我们要聊些什么呢，米歇尔？

So what are we getting into today then, Michelle?

是的。

Yeah.

今天我们主要聊的是哪些话不该说，然后我们再讨论一下，你其实可以怎么做。

So we're talking basically, today is a what not to say episode, and then we're gonna talk about it, you know, what you what you could possibly do.

对。

Yes.

不过我们先来模拟一个具体例子，看看这种情况到底是怎么发生的。

So but let's give a little role play example of exactly how this sounds.

好的。

Alright.

米歇尔，你周六会来我的派对吗？

So Michelle, are you coming to my party on Saturday?

可能吧。

Maybe.

还有谁去？

Who else is going?

我真不知道该怎么回。

Oh, I have no response.

哎呀。

Ouch.

对吧？

Right?

这听起来

That is

就像中学时那种高傲女生对你说的话。

it really sounds like something that, like, a snobby girl would say to you in middle school or something.

没错。

Yes.

你懂的。

You know?

对。

Yes.

确实如此。

It's so true.

这真的特别让人难受。

It is that is a it's very painful.

大家都明白这是什么意思。

So people know what that means.

对吧？

Right?

大家都知道这话指的是什么。

People They know exactly what that means.

是的。

Yeah.

是的。

Yes.

对。

Yes.

所以毫无疑问，我们必须避免这种情况。

So definitely, this is something that we wanna avoid.

为什么呢，林赛？

Why, Lindsay?

这简直就是最快破坏关系的方式。

I mean, it's it's talk about the fastest way to break a connection.

我们这个节目讲的就是通过语言建立人与人之间的联系，而这就是最典型的反面例子。

We're all about connection here on the show, human connection through language, and this is it.

对吧？

Right?

也许有一天我们会做个专题，讲讲英语里破坏关系的十大最快方式，这个肯定排在前列。

We maybe maybe one day we'll do the 10 fastest ways to break connection in English, and this will be on the list.

这绝对会列在上面。

This would absolutely be on the list.

所以这就是答案。

And so that's the answer.

它一说出来，关系就断了。

It just breaks connection right away.

它会让对方觉得自己不够好。

It makes the person feel like they're not enough.

虽然遇到这种没教养的人，根本没必要在意他说的话，对吧？

Although it's not worth even feeling that way in front of someone that has like lacks the class and says something like this, right?

他根本不配让你有这种感觉，但你可能还是会不舒服。

Like they don't deserve to make you feel that way, but you still might feel that way.

对吧？

Right?

是的。

Yes.

对，就是这样。

Yes, exactly.

我确实找到了那一集的编号，待会儿我会把编号告诉你们，这样你们就能听听我们是怎么一步步走到这集的了。

And I did find that episode number, so I'm gonna give that out to you guys at the end of the episode so you can listen to how we got to this episode really.

那么，还有没有其他类似的话，是表达同样意思的？

So yeah, What is another thing that someone might say that is the same type of idea?

没错，可能用的词不一样，但意思差不多，具体要看是谁说的。

Yeah, just not maybe with different words, saying the same People might say, depends on who is coming.

对吧？

Right?

比如我问你来不来我的派对，你回一句‘看谁去’，不好意思，是看谁来。

If I asked you if you're coming to my party, depends, oh sorry, depends who is coming.

对吧？

Right?

没错。

Right.

没错。

Right.

或者

Or

我的意思是，这取决于谁会来。

I mean, or it depends on who's coming.

或者看看还有谁已经答应了。

Either one Or could might who else has said yes.

是的。

Yeah.

或者到目前为止，还有谁答应了？

Or who else has said yes so far, maybe?

对。

Right.

对。

Right.

所以这让我也想到，这会不会是文化差异的问题？

So and I this also made me wonder, is this a cultural thing?

这真是个好问题。

That's a really good question.

是的，因为别的文化里可能并不觉得这冒犯。

Yeah, because, you know, maybe in other cultures it's not offensive.

有可能。

Maybe.

也许你只是单纯想了解一下情况。

Maybe it's just, you know, you're inquiring.

事实上，有时候你确实只是想确认一下。

And and the truth is sometimes you might just be inquiring.

没错，就是这样。

It might but it Right.

但在美国文化里，至少大家会觉得，如果你还没回复是否参加，就问这种问题，不太合适。

But the perception, at least in American culture, is if you're going to ask that question and you haven't you haven't given your RSVP, you didn't say whether or not you're coming.

是的

Yeah.

这么说来，好吧。

Now it sounds like, okay.

你只有在贝琪和丽塔去的时候才去，但你不想只是为了我而出席。

You're only coming if Betsy and Rita are coming, but you don't wanna just, you know, you don't wanna just come for me.

对吧？

Right?

是的

Yeah.

完全没错。

Totally.

如果你已经回复了邀请，对方也清楚你会来，比如你帮忙筹办什么的，那就完全没问题。

Now if you've already given your RSVP and that person knows very well that you are coming, maybe you're helping plan or something, it's totally okay.

对吧？

Right?

但那是

But that's That's

完全不一样。

totally different.

对。

Mhmm.

是的。

Yeah.

所以这一点真的很重要，得好好想想。

So really important to think about this here.

不过，没错，我喜欢这个想法，林赛。

But, yeah, I I like that, Lindsay.

比如，我们可以做个专题，讲讲最快破坏关系的十种方式。

Like, if we did an episode or a series on the 10 fastest ways to break a connection.

那会挺有意思的。

That would be interesting.

是的

Yeah.

各位，记得点关注。

Guys, the follow button.

我特别期待这期节目，看看你们可能会做出或说出哪些让人后悔的事，得三思而后行。

I'm excited for that episode to see what are these devastating things you might do that you wanna think twice about before doing them or saying them.

对吧？

Right?

这挺有意思的。

That's pretty funny.

对。

Yeah.

这期节目肯定会很有趣。

That would be a funny episode.

不过，是这样的。

So but, yeah.

我们先休息一会儿，然后再回来继续聊这个话题。

We're gonna take a little bit of a break, and then we're gonna come back and keep talking about this.

好的。

Okay.

好了，米歇尔。

Alright, Michelle.

我们回来了。

We are back.

那接下来我们聊点什么？

So where to where should we go now?

对。

Yeah.

我一直在想，怎么问才不会显得没礼貌。

So I I was trying to think of ways to inquire without making it rude.

所以我一直在琢磨，到底该怎么说才合适。

So I was trying to think, oh, what could you say?

但正如我所说，我意识到，如果你真的只是根据谁会来做决定，那确实如此。

But like I said, what I realized is if you are truly just guiding your decision Yeah.

如果纯粹是看谁出席，那我真不知道有什么得体的办法来处理。

Based on who's coming, then I don't know that there is a polite way to do this.

是的。

Yeah.

你觉得呢，琳赛？

What do you think, Lindsay?

我可能会干脆不去了。

I I I would probably stay away entirely.

我的意思是，你到底想不想跟主人维持这段友谊？

I mean, you know, do do you wanna cultivate the friendship with the host or not?

对吧？

Right?

说到底，问题就在这儿。

It's really about that.

你懂的。

You know?

而且我觉得，这种情况随着我们年纪增长，应该会越来越少才对。

And and I feel like this is probably something that happens, I I would hope a little less and less as we get older.

是的。

Yeah.

我们更看重真正的朋友，而不是非要凑到某些人身边。

And we just kind of value the friendships we have rather than wanting to be around certain people.

但我也不确定。

But I don't know.

也许这并不对。

Maybe that's not true.

我不确定。

I don't know.

对吧？

Right?

是的。

Yeah.

所以，做决定时要根据活动本身来判断。

So try to make your decision based on the event.

我的意思是，如果你要去一个可能有机会说英语的场合，那就去，别管谁会到场。

I mean, I mean, if like if you're going to an event where you might have the opportunity to speak English, know, like go to the event, you know, don't worry who's gonna be there.

你可能会认识新的人。

You might meet someone new.

只因为某些人不理解你为什么想去，就不参加，这种想法太狭隘了。

It's a very closed minded thing to just say, Oh, I am only going if these people I are understand the feeling of wanting to go there.

也许你有社交焦虑，对吧？

Maybe you have social anxiety, right?

没错。

Oh yeah.

对。

Yeah.

所以你就是这样想的。

And you and that's why.

不过，这么做实在不太合适。

However, it just it just it's not a good look.

没错。

Right.

你可以这么说，比如：‘我希望能参加。’

So I mean, you could say something like, oh, I'm hoping to come.

如果可以的话，我今晚再告诉你结果。

I'll let you know this evening if that's okay.

到目前为止有哪些人会来？

Who's coming so far?

我相信一定会很有趣。

I'm sure it'll be fun.

所以

So

是的。

that Mhmm.

这么说吧，语气能缓和一点，但还是说不准。

Like, it kinda softens it a little bit, but it's still I don't know.

因为你提到的一些话确实让事情听起来没那么取决于谁去。

But because you're saying certain things that are softening it and not making it seem like your decision hinges on who's going.

你说你希望能来。

You're saying, oh, I'm hoping to come.

对吧？

Right?

我相信一定会很有趣。

I'm sure it will be fun.

我今晚给你答复。

I'll let you know this evening.

所以你其实说了别的事。

So you're saying other things.

那也算能接受吧，我想。

So that's passable, I guess.

对吧？

Right?

这也不是没可能。

That's possible.

但问题是，如果你这么做是带着假意的话。

But it's like, you know, if if you're doing this in a disingenuine way.

你可能骗不了对方。

You know, it might you know, you might not be able to fool the person.

就像这样。

It's like

是的。

Yeah.

其实去参加派对，不太清楚会见到谁，也挺有意思的，毕竟你大概知道你朋友的朋友有哪些。

It's also kind of fun just to show up to a party and not quite know who I mean, you have some idea because you know who your friend's friends are.

对吧？

Right?

所以通常你大概知道谁会来，但有时候直接去现场看看都有谁，也挺有意思的。

So you have some idea usually who who will be there, but sometimes it's fun just to show up and see who's there.

是吧？

Right?

天哪。

Oh my god.

说到这个，让我想起大学那时候，我参加了一个组织好的大型旅行团。

I well, I mean, it brings me back to in college, I was going on a trip and it was like an organized big trip.

我是跟我朋友一起去的。

And I was going with my friend.

结果她临出发前突然病了，没法去了。

And she, at the last minute, got sick, and she backed out.

我当时真是吓坏了。

And I was, oh my gosh.

我急得不行。

I was freaking out.

我还本来打算和那个朋友一起去的。

And, oh, I was supposed to go with this friend.

结果后来想想，这反而是最好的安排。

And then it turned out probably to be the best thing.

我是说，她没去其实挺好。

I mean, that that she didn't go.

当然，我不是说她不好。

I mean, no offense to her.

但我觉得这让我打开了眼界，因为如果你总和一个人一起，就容易被局限住。

But I think it branched me out because then you're kinda stuck to that person.

是的。

Yeah.

说的就是这个。

That's the thing.

当你只是跟人算熟识，不太了解的时候，反而更容易拓展圈子。

When you don't really know, you just know people as acquaintances, you can branch out a lot more.

这对学语言其实特别有帮助。

And that's actually really good for learning a language.

比如，要是被邀请去参加一个全是母语者的派对，你也没几个认识的人。

Like, if you get invited to a party with a bunch of native speakers, you don't really know anyone that well.

场面挺大，身边又没有熟人，更别提说你母语的人了。

It's a huge and you're not with anyone else that you know, especially that speaks your language.

这可是提升流利度的绝佳机会。

Huge learning opportunity for fluency building.

对吧？

Right?

是的。

Yeah.

没错。

Yes.

没错。

Exactly.

所以如果决定你去不去的不是谁会来，那这一点一定要说清楚。

So so if it's not what's making your decision, who else is coming, then make sure that that's obvious.

对。

Yes.

你可以说，哎，都有谁去啊？

So you might say something like, oh, who's coming?

我特别期待见到大家。

I'm so excited to see everyone.

这话就暗示你会去。

So this implies you're going.

你确实会去。

You are going.

你只是好奇而已。

You're just curious.

是的

Yeah.

或者说，你可以讲他们问过你是否会去。

Or you you say you could say they've asked you if you're coming.

对。

Yes.

我会去的。

I'll be there.

还有谁已经回复了？

Who else is RSVP'd?

对吧？

Right?

是的

Yeah.

对

Mhmm.

是的。

Yeah.

所以这说明你只是想知道谁会去，但不管怎样你都很期待，肯定会参加。

So this makes it clear that you're just you're just wondering who's gonna be there, but you're excited anyway you're going.

是的。

Yeah.

那我们来演几个角色扮演吧，Lindsay。

So let's do some role plays, Lindsay.

好的。

Okay.

开始吧。

Here we go.

所以呢，我邀请你来参加电影之夜。

So here, I asked you to a movie night.

我喜欢看电影之夜。

Love movie nights.

看电影真棒。

Love going to the movies.

好的。

Alright.

那你有兴趣吗？

So, are you interested?

听着挺有意思的。

Sounds like fun.

有我认识的人去吗？

Is anyone I know coming?

是的，贝丝也会去。

Yeah, Beth will be there too.

哦，太好了。

Oh, awesome.

对，我想我应该能去。

Yeah, I think I can make it.

是的

Yeah.

你啊，是悄悄把问题带出来的，有点拐弯抹角。

So, you kind of slipped it in there, the question, a little bit.

我的意思是，差不多算擦边了。

I mean, borderline.

对吧？

Right?

擦边。

Borderline.

对吧？

Right?

你知道的，有时候确实有个模糊地带，但我们最不想搞清楚的是还有谁会来。

You know, sometimes there's that gray area, but we but we absolutely wanna avoid is who else is coming?

我明白。

I know.

语气很重要。

Tone of voice.

这得看是谁来，对吧？

Depends who's coming, right?

这简直让人觉得全靠这一点了。

That really makes it seem like it's hinging on it.

问问有哪些人会来，我觉得没问题。

I think it's fair to ask if people you know are coming.

是的。

Yeah.

那我们再来一个。

So let's do another one.

这次呢，我在等你回复我生日聚餐的邀请。

So in this one, I am waiting on an RSVP from you for my birthday dinner.

明白吗？

Alright?

好的。

Okay.

对。

Yes.

好的。

Okay.

你能来吗？

So can you make it?

能，我会去的。

Yeah, I'll be there.

还有谁确认参加了？

Who else is RSVP'd?

我们整个小组都会来。

Oh, our whole group is coming too.

太好了，你能来我就放心了。

Oh, I'm so glad you can make it.

太棒了。

That's awesome.

等不及了。

Can't wait.

我刚才不是已经说了，我会去的吗？

So here I already I said, yes, I'm coming.

对吧？

Right?

所以我现在问还有谁报名了，意思就不一样了。

So if I'm asking who else is RSVP'd after, it's a very different question.

对吧？

Right?

是的。

Mhmm.

对。

Mhmm.

在第一个版本里，你有点犹豫地说听起来挺有意思的，但不管谁去，你都很期待。

And in the first one, you kind of said you kind of tentatively said sounds like fun, you're enthusiastic about it no matter who's coming.

这个版本更好。

So this one's better.

这个说法更礼貌，因为你已经明确说你会来。

This one's a little more polite because you already said, yes, I'm coming.

对。

Yeah.

对吧？

Right?

对。

Yeah.

挺有意思的。

Really interesting.

所以，各位，我之前提到的那集是第二十六集第十二节。

So, guys, that other episode I was talking about is twenty six twelve.