AEE 2630：于心不忍？用英语该如何表达

这是《All Ears English》播客第2630期。

This is an All Ears English Podcast episode twenty six thirty.

下不了决心去做吗？

Don't have the heart to do it?

这种情况下该用英语怎么说？

What to say in English.

欢迎收听《All Ears English》播客，全球下载量已超过两亿次。

Welcome to the All Ears English Podcast, downloaded more than 200,000,000 times.

是不是觉得自己的英语进步卡住了？

Are you feeling stuck with your English?

我们会教你如何摆脱顾虑，流利表达——重点不是完美，而是真实交流。本期节目由美国主持人Lindsay McMahon（英语冒险家）和Michelle Kaplan（纽约电台女孩）为您带来，她们分别来自科罗拉多和纽约市。

We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection with your American hosts, Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer, and Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl, coming to you from Colorado and New York City, USA.

想每周收到邮件发送的节目文稿？请访问 allearsenglish.com/subscribe。

And to get your transcripts delivered by email every week, go to allearsenglish.com forward slash subscribe.

有时候我们得传达坏消息，可就是说不出口。

Sometimes we have to deliver bad news, and we just can't do it.

今天我们就来聊聊，在这种情况下该怎么开口，给你几个不同的表达方式。

Today, find out what to say in moments like these with a few different phrase options.

给你的日常加点好奇心吧，推荐你听《TED每日一讲》，每天更新一期TED演讲。

Add a little curiosity into your routine with TED Talks Daily, the podcast that brings you a new TED Talk every weekday.

每天花不到十五分钟，就能超越新闻头条，了解那些正在塑造你未来的重要想法。

In less than fifteen minutes a day, you'll go beyond the headlines and learn about the big ideas shaping your future.

接下来我们会讲：人工智能将如何改变我们的沟通方式，怎样成为更好的领导者，还有更多内容。

Coming up, how AI will change the way we communicate, how to be a better leader, and more.

你可以在任何听播客的平台收听《TED每日一讲》。

Listen to TED Talks Daily wherever you get your podcast.

嘿，林赛。

Hey, Lindsay.

你最近怎么样？

How are you?

我感觉还不错，米歇尔，不过我有个问题想问你。

I'm feeling pretty good, Michelle, but I have a question for you.

你准备好了吗？

You ready?

好的。

Okay.

好的。

Okay.

那你平时怎么跟人说坏消息呢？

So how are you at delivering bad news to people?

哦。

Oh.

哦，我最讨厌干这个了。

Oh, I hate it.

我觉得没人会喜欢做这种事。

I don't think anybody would like this.

一点都不轻松，说不定你还会下意识躲着不干。

Is not fun, and you might even avoid it a little bit.

然后你就得逼自己去完成它。

And then you just kinda have to make yourself do it.

你呢？

What about you?

是的。

Yeah.

我知道这确实不让人愉快。

I know it's not fun.

从来都不舒服，尤其是你特别有同理心的时候。

It's never fun, especially if you have a lot of empathy.

这事儿就是没法让人觉得开心。

It's just not a fun thing to do.

我觉得没人会喜欢做这种事。

I don't think anyone likes this.

对吧？

Right?

不是。

No.

对。

Yeah.

不过在英语里，我们有个特定的说法来形容这种感觉。

But there is a specific expression that we might use in English to kind of talk about this feeling.

就是‘我实在下不了手’或者‘我实在不忍心做某事’。

It's I don't have the heart for something or I don't have the heart to do something.

不好意思。

Sorry.

没错。

Yes.

这种表达挺好的，确实有用。

This is a good it's good to have phrases.

通常当我们得告诉别人的时候，就会用这种说法。

Usually, this is what we might say to someone else when we have to tell someone else.

所以这里有三方。

So there are three parties here.

你、另外一个人，还有第三个人。

You, someone else, and someone else.

你不会直接对那个你要告知坏消息的人这么说。

You wouldn't really say it directly to the person that you're gonna give the bad news to.

对吧？

Right?

不会。

No.

不会。

No.

不会。

No.

不会。

No.

不会。

No.

不会。

No.

不会。

No.

是的。

Yeah.

除非事后你再告诉他们。

Unless maybe after the fact you told them.

不过也行。

But alright.

咱们来模拟一下场景吧。

Let's do a little role play here.

好。

Okay.

你把坏消息告诉她了吗？

Did you give her the bad news yet?

还没。

No.

我实在说不出口。

I don't have the heart to do it.

是的。

Yeah.

我

I

我的意思是，这可能

mean This could

也适合用来提分手。

be for a great a breakup also.

就像这样。

Like Mhmm.

是的

Yeah.

其实最近我不得不告诉别人一件事，那让我特别难受。

The I recently actually I had to tell someone something that I felt really bad about.

我确实一直拖着没说，真的拖了很久。

And I I mean, I it I definitely kept on putting it off.

是的

Yeah.

但后来我还是说了，而且——

But but then I did it and,

你知道，这确实很难。

you know, that's hard.

还好吧。

It's okay.

是的

Yeah.

所以啊，说自己下不了手去做某事，其实特别容易拉近关系，因为大家都懂这种感觉。

So, yeah, saying I don't have the heart to do something is a great way to build connection because it's so relatable.

对吧？

Right?

是啊。

Yep.

没错。

Mhmm.

关键就在于共情和情感，那种人人都会有的感受——明明知道有件难办的事得跟人说。

It's all about that empathy and emotion and, you know, this universal feeling of, you know, there's something hard that you have to tell someone.

没错。

Yes.

而且最近就有个例子，丹拿到了一张免费的尼克斯队比赛门票。

And you you just I mean, even recently, so Dan got free got a free ticket to a Knicks game.

哦，是吗？

Okay.

真不错。

Nice.

我儿子是篮网队的铁粉，结果只剩一张票了。

And my son is a huge Knicks fan and there was only one ticket left.

你说，要是我儿子跟朋友的老公一起去，那也太奇怪了吧。

It was like to go I mean, it would have been very strange if my son went with my friend's husband.

对吧？

Right?

根本行不通嘛。

Like, just like wasn't wouldn't have worked.

没错。

Right.

丹真的不想告诉我儿子。

Dan really didn't wanna tell my son.

他说：‘我实在开不了口，下不了这个决心。’

He was like, I can't, you know, I don't have the heart to do it.

他真的不想告诉他。

And he he didn't he didn't wanna tell him.

所以一开始，他打算跟他说点别的，比如‘我有个活动’。

So he at first, he was gonna tell him something else like, oh, I have an event.

然后我就说，你必须得告诉他。

And then I said, you have to tell him.

这关系到让他失望的问题。

Oh, It has to deal with the disappointment.

但这真的太难了。

But it's so hard.

确实不容易。

That's hard.

是啊。

Yeah.

尤其是对孩子来说。

Especially a kid.

对吧？

Right?

你可能体会不到。

You might not get it.

是的。

Yeah.

这确实不容易。

That's tough.

对。

Yeah.

这全靠共情和情感。

This is all about empathy and emotion.

我觉得如果你用这句话，本身就说明你很有共情力，而拥有共情力，往往能带来人生的成功。

And I think if you are using this phrase, you're already signaling that you have a high level of empathy, which means probably I mean, when you have empathy, that leads to success in life.

对吧？

Right?

是的

Yeah.

对

Yeah.

所以你很在意别人的感受，这很好。

So you're you're careful about people's feelings, which is great.

没错

Yes.

对

Yes.

咱们花几秒钟提醒一下，别忘了关注这个节目哦。

Let's take a quick second to remind you to hit the follow button on the show.

如果你更喜欢在YouTube上看我们，那也是个很好的学习方式。

Or if you prefer to watch us on YouTube, that is a great way to learn.

记得订阅我们的YouTube频道‘All Ears English’。

Hit subscribe on our YouTube channel for All Ears English.

好吧？

Alright?

完美。

Perfect.

不错。

Good.

好的。

Alright.

所以，是这样的。

So, yeah.

这到底是什么意思，琳赛？

What exactly does it mean, Lindsay?

我没那个心去做某件事。

I don't have the heart to do something.

没错。

That's Right.

这跟你的生理心脏没关系。

It's not about your physical heart.

对。

No.

也不是说你有没有这个能力。

It's not about physical ability.

意思是，你因为觉得这事太残忍、太伤感、太难受、太尴尬，所以心里过不去。

It means that you're emotionally unable to do something because it just feels cruel, sad, uncomfortable, awkward.

也许你觉得这么做不对，或者会伤害别人。

Maybe it feels wrong or hurtful.

所以我们常常就是拖着不做。

And so often what we do is we do procrastinate.

对吧？

Right?

是的。

Yes.

我们总是拖延。

We put it off.

对。

Yes.

是的。

Yeah.

咱们稍微聊聊这个语法结构吧。

So let's just talk a little bit about the grammar for a second and how the structure is.

就是 'I don't have the heart to' 加上一个不定式动词。

So I don't have the heart to, and then plus an infinitive verb.

对吧？

Right?

就是你做不到的那些事。

So whatever you can't do.

对。

Yes.

是的

Yeah.

比如，哇，你儿子画的那幅画你还留着呢。

So for example, wow, you still have that painting your son drew.

我实在舍不得扔掉。

I don't have the heart to throw it away.

对。

Yeah.

没错。

So Yeah.

当然。

Of course.

这挺有意思的。

This is interesting.

这有点不一样。

This is a little bit different.

这并不是在报坏消息。

It's not delivering bad news.

只是说一下这个情况。

It's just saying that this yeah.

我挺难受的。

I feel bad.

你懂的。

You know?

不管是扔掉它，还是让我儿子知道，甚至只是我自己，都会觉得不好受。

I feel bad throwing it away either for my son or, you know, he might find out and feel bad or even for myself.

就是觉得，哎，我放不下。

It's just like, oh, I'm attached.

这就像是——

It's like

是的。

Yeah.

完全同意。

Totally.

百分之百。

A 100%.

另一种情况可能是

Or another scenario could be

我没想到你会回复参加派对。

I'm surprised you RSVP'd to the party.

是的。

Yeah.

我实在说不出口拒绝。

I didn't have the heart to say no.

好吧。

Okay.

是的。

Yeah.

所以你觉得你非来不可。

So you felt like you had to come.

还是你一直没告诉她真相？

Or you still haven't told her the truth?

我没勇气跟她说。

I don't have the heart to tell her.

是的。

Yeah.

好吧。

Alright.

很好。

Good.

这些都是很好的例子。

These are all great examples.

所以并不总是关于传达坏消息。

So it's not always about delivering bad news.

有时候确实是这样。

Sometimes it is.

但其实就是不想伤害别人。

But it's really just not wanting to hurt people.

对吧？

Right?

是的。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

没错。

Exactly.

所以我们还会说，我实在做不到。

So other things we might say, I can't bring myself to do something.

这个说法稍微啰嗦一点，我觉得在日常中没那么常用。

This one's a little more wordy, maybe a little less common in my opinion.

米歇尔，你怎么看？

Michelle, what do you think?

对。

Yeah.

没那么有感情。

A little less heartfelt.

听起来你内心有点抗拒。

It it sound it sounds like something inside you is resisting.

我无法让自己去加上动词。

I can't bring myself to plus the verb.

那听起来会是什么样？

So how would that sound?

也就是说，我实在没法让自己去这么做。

So basically, I can't bring myself to okay.

对。

Yeah.

好吧。

Okay.

你把旅行取消了吗？

Did you cancel the trip?

我就是下不了这个决心。

I can't bring myself to do it.

孩子们都特别期待这次旅行。

The kids are looking forward to it too much.

是啊。

Yeah.

就算你可能得取消，比如因为预算问题。

Even though maybe you know you have to cancel it or something, budget issues.

对吧？

Right?

对。

Yeah.

对吧？

Right?

还是你会问他欠你的钱？

Or are you going to ask him about the money he owes you?

不会。

No.

我开不了口。

I can't bring myself to ask.

我总觉得特别尴尬。

I feel way too awkward.

哦。

Oh.

这种事挺常见的。

That's a common one.

要是有人欠你钱的话。

If somebody owes you money.

哦，这感觉太别扭了。

Oh, This feels very uncomfortable.

对。

Yes.

这可不是好事。

That is not good.

所以我觉得现在才冒出这么多这类应用。

That's why I feel like all these apps have developed.

比如现在有个应用，专门用于朋友结伴旅行时分摊开销。

Like, there's an app now that you can use when you travel in a group.

你用过吗？

Have you tried it?

名字我记不太清了，但它能自动记录每个人该付多少钱。

I can't remember what it's called, but it just tracks what who owes what.

因为一起旅行的时候，账目很容易乱，对吧。

Because when you travel Oh, well, in a that's group Right.

你们每晚一起吃饭，住酒店，打车，一共有四个人。

There's, like, four of you having dinner every night, hotels, taxis.

这事儿太麻烦了。

It's way too complicated.

所以这个应用会自动算清楚谁该付多少钱，最后直接给每个人发条短信。

So the app just tallies up who owes what, at the end it just sends a text to everyone.

提醒你该付多少钱。

Says you owe that amount.

这太厉害了。

That's incredible.

确实不错。

It's great.

是的。

Yeah.

不是。

No.

太棒了。

That's awesome.

真的吗？

Really.

这主意真聪明。

It's really smart.

我等忘了名字再发给你。

I'll send it to you after I forget

叫什么来着。

what it's called.

好的。

Yeah.

告诉我一声。

Let me know.

告诉我一声。

Let me know.

好的。

Alright.

另一个问题可能是，你把剧看完了没？

Another question could be, did you finish the show?

没有。

No.

我实在没法看最后一集。

I can't bring myself to watch the last episode.

这个挺有意思的。

So This one's interesting.

那这说明什么？

So what does this mean?

你这么喜欢这部剧，就差最后一集了，等看完肯定特别难过。

You love the show so much, and it's one more episode, and you're gonna be so sad when it's over.

所以，有时候这其实跟自己有关。

So, sometimes it's just about self.

我是说，这跟别人没关系。

Like, I can't it's not about somebody else.

就是，我实在没勇气去看。

It's just, oh, I can't bring myself to do it.

感觉挺别扭的。

It's awkward.

这让我心里很难受。

It's upsetting to me.

你心里头有个地方卡住了。

There's something that's stalling you.

对。

Right.

没错。

Right.

至于这一部，你其实不想承认剧已经结束了。

And for this one, you don't want it's almost like you don't want to know that the show's over.

剧里已经没什么值得你留恋的了。

There's nothing left for you in the show.

所以你宁愿拖着，因为你心里知道，还有些内容正等着你去看。

And so you'd rather just delay because you know you still have some of that show left waiting for you.

对吧？

Right?

对。

Right.

对。

Right.

是的。

Yeah.

看完一部特别喜欢的剧，结束时确实会有点难过。

It can be a bit sad to finish a show you really like.

是啊。

Yeah.

或者说，我没这个劲儿了。

Or you could say, don't have it in me.

这个说法更多是关于精力的。

Now this one is more about energy.

是的。

Yeah.

也可能更偏向于精力，不管是身体上还是情绪上的精力。

Or could be more about energy, whether it's physical or emotional energy.

意思就是你太累或者太不堪重负，做不了这件事。

It's like saying you're too exhausted or too overwhelmed to do something.

或者也可能是，当你得对某人说实话，但觉得太直白了，这时候你也会说：‘我实在没勇气这么直接。’

Or it also could be like, like if you have to be honest with someone and like it feels too direct for you, that could be another way of saying I don't have it in me to be so direct.

对。

Right.

对。

Right.

对。

Right.

对。

Right.

对。

Right.

没错。

Exactly.

所以，这个说法本身就可以独立使用。

So yeah, this can be used on its own.

它其实完全可以作为一个完整的回答。

So it actually could work as a full response.

比如，你有几个大学可以选择。

So for example, you have a few choices of where to go to college.

你今天会做出最终决定吗？

Will you make the final decision today?

今天肯定不行。

Definitely not today.

我实在没这个劲儿。

I don't have in me.

所以这里明显说的是精力。

So here we're clearly talking about energy.

对吧？

Right?

我今天没精力。

I don't have the energy today.

我脑子也不够清楚。

I don't have the clarity of mind.

我太忙了，或者类似的原因。

I'm too busy or something.

对，就是这样。

Yes, exactly.

或者说，像运动这种事，唉，今天实在没这个劲儿。

Or I mean, something like exercise, oh, just, I don't have it in me today.

我只能早点去睡觉了。

I got to just go to sleep early.

对。

Yeah.

说‘有劲儿’这种表达还挺有意思的，对吧？

That's an interesting construction to have something in you, Right?

或者‘我没这个劲儿去做某事’这种说法。

Or I don't have it in me plus a verb.

比如，我实在没这个劲儿去处理那些事。

So I don't have it in me to do something.

比如说，你们会一起把相处中的问题提出来谈吗？

For example, are you gonna bring up the issues you're having together?

我觉得不会。

I don't think so.

我现在没力气再争了。

I don't have it in me to argue anymore.

是的。

Yeah.

这可不太好。

And that's not good.

对。

Yeah.

就这样在一段关系里放弃，可不行。

Just giving up there with a a relationship.

听起来真不怎么样。

That doesn't sound good.

确实不好。

Not good.

你待会儿想出去跳舞吗？

Do you wanna go out dancing later?

我倒是想，但今晚实在没力气跳舞了。

I wish, but I just don't have it in me to dance tonight.

是的。

Yeah.

所以我特别喜欢这一首。

So that's I actually love this one.

对。

Yeah.

我觉得

I feel like

我大概经常用这一首。

I probably use this one fairly, like, fairly frequently.

是的。

Yeah.

也许吧。

Maybe.

你有时候也会觉得特别累吗？

You you feel like you feel tired sometimes?

是的。

Yes.

当然了。

Of course.

就是，有时候实在没力气出门，不管什么天气都不想出去。

Was like, don't have it in I don't have it in me to go out, you know, in different types of weather.

有时候晚上根本不想去参加什么活动。

I don't have it in me to go to, like, an event in the evening sometimes.

你懂的。

You know?

是的。

Yeah.

definitely。

For sure.

尤其是冬天，你知道的。

Especially in the winter and, you know.

不管怎样。

Anyways.

好了。

Alright.

我们来做个角色扮演吧。

Let's get into a role play here.

咱们是朋友，我刚和男朋友分手，现在跟你聊聊感觉怎么样。

So we are friends, and I just broke up with a boyfriend, and you're I'm talking to you about how it's feeling.

对吧？

Right?

哦，明白了。

Oh, okay.

来吧。

Here we go.

对。

Mhmm.

嘿。

Hey.

你对这段分手感觉怎么样？

How are you feeling about the breakup?

我是一天一天熬着，但说实话，我老看到他发的动态，心里就又翻腾起来了。

Well, I'm taking it day by day, but honestly, I keep seeing his stories online, and it brings up all these feelings.

这很正常。

That makes sense.

你为什么不干脆取关他呢？

Why don't you just unfollow him?

我还真下不了这个心，现在还不想取关。

Well, I don't have the heart to do that just yet.

我懂。

I get that.