AEE 2689：不想听起来太严厉？用这些表达缓和语气

这里是《全耳朵英语播客》，第2689集。

This is an All Ears English Podcast, Episode 2689.

不想说话太冲？

Don't want to sound harsh?

用这些短语来缓和一下语气。

Soften the blow with these phrases.

欢迎收听《全耳朵英语播客》，下载量已超过两亿次。

Welcome to the All Ears English Podcast, downloaded more than 200 million times.

你是否觉得自己的英语卡住了？

Are you feeling stuck with your English?

我们会告诉你如何通过注重交流而非完美，变得无所畏惧、流利自如。

We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection.

你的美国主持人，纽约电台女孩米歇尔·卡普兰，和雅思高手奥布里·卡特，从美国亚利桑那州和纽约市为你带来节目。

With your American hosts, Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl, and Aubrey Carter, the IELTS whiz, coming to you from Arizona and New York City, USA.

要在手机上获取实时文字稿并创建你的个性化词汇表，请试试适用于iOS和Android的《全耳朵英语》应用。

To get real-time transcripts right on your phone and create your personalized vocabulary list, try the All Ears English app for iOS and Android.

在 allearsenglish.com/app 开始你的七天免费试用。

Start your seven-day free trial at allearsenglish.com/app.

你会不会担心说英语时听起来太生硬？

Do you worry about sounding too harsh when you say something in English?

今天，来学一些能让你说话不那么直接的短语。

Today, find out phrases you can use to make what you say less blunt.

听下去，看看怎么说话更委婉，这样就不会破坏关系。

Listen in to find out how to be softer so you don't break the connection.

你有没有开完会走出来时想过：“我本可以说得更好？”

Have you ever walked out of a meeting thinking, "I could've said that better?"

你全都听懂了，但你的回答却显得简短或不清楚，或者不太像你。

You understood everything, but your response came out short or unclear, or not quite like you.

也许你的想法很有力，但你的英语还没能把它展现出来。

Maybe your ideas are strong, but your English doesn't show it yet.

你会忘记本来知道的词，无法自然地解释事情，而在快节奏的对话中只能默默跟上。

You forget words you know, you can't explain things naturally, and fast conversations leave you quietly catching up.

这种差距确实让人沮丧，但它也很具体，而且完全可以解决。

That gap can be frustrating, but it's also very specific and very fixable.

我们的两分钟流利度测试能帮你了解差距在哪里，以及你的水平是B1、B2还是C1。

Our two-minute fluency quiz helps you understand where that gap is and whether your level is B1, B2, or C1.

当你知道自己的水平时，进步会感觉更轻松、更快。

When you know your level, progress feels lighter and faster.

现在就上allearsenglish.com/fluencyscore做测试，离像你思考那样说英语更近一步。

Take the quiz now at allearsenglish.com/fluencyscore and move closer to speaking English the way you think.

再说一次，去allearsenglish.com/F-L-U-E-N-C-Y-S-C-O-R-E。

One more time, go to allearsenglish.com/F-L-U-E-N-C-Y-S-C-O-R-E.

嘿，Michelle，你今天怎么样？

Hey, Michelle, how are you today?

嗨，我很好。

Hi, I'm good.

你呢？

How are you?

太好了。

Excellent.

我有个问题想问你。

I have a question for you.

好的。

Okay.

我知道你平时不是那种说话尖刻或直接的人，但有没有哪次你说了什么，然后立刻想：“哦，这话说得也太重了吧？”

I know you're not a person who is normally harsh or blunt, but have you ever said something and immediately thought, "Oh, that sounded way too harsh?"

哦，有啊。

Oh, yeah.

当然有。

Of course.

这种事肯定发生过。

It definitely happens.

有时候，我也说不清。

Sometimes, I don't know.

我试着回想一个具体的场景，但确实有时候你会说了一些话，然后心里想：‘天哪，希望他们没理解错我的意思。’

I'm trying to think of a specific situation, but there are definitely times where you say something and you're like, "Oh, God, I hope that they didn't take that the wrong way."

或者我希望……

Or I hope that the-

你知道我最常遇到这种情况的时候，是在说西班牙语或法语的时候。因为在英语——也就是你的母语里，你更懂得怎么把话说得委婉些，知道该用哪些词来缓冲语气。

You know when this happens to me the most is in Spanish or French because in English, in your first language, you know a little better how to soften things and all of the words to cushion everything with.

但当你在学习一门新语言时，比如我们在墨西哥那次，正好赶上世界杯比赛，我们去了一个小塔可店。

But when you're learning a language, so for example, we were in Mexico, and there was a World Cup game, and there were a little taqueria.

我们想让他们把电视打开，我在琢磨该怎么说，比如‘麻烦确认一下电视能不能用’之类的。

We wanted to ask them to turn the TV on, and I'm trying to think, I'm like, "How would I say, like, please let me know if the TV's working?"

我当时只会说‘请把电视打开’。

All I knew how to say was like, "Turn the TV on, please."

我觉得那样听起来可能太生硬了。

I'm like, that probably sounds blunt.

我想说得委婉点，所以得想想怎么用更柔和的表达方式来说这件事，对吧？

I'm trying to say it nicely, and I'm like, I need to look up the nicer words to couch that in, right?

嗯嗯。

Uh-uh.

我觉得在英语里，我们总是会软化很多表达。

We're always, I think, in English, we soften things quite a bit.

确实，很多。

A lot, yeah.

所以今天我们就来聊聊这个话题。

So we're going to be talking about that today.

今天我们要回答一位听众的问题，这个问题问得特别好。

We are answering a question from a listener today, a really good one.

问题是：如果有些话可能会让人觉得刺耳或者直接，有没有什么说法可以在说之前先缓和一下？

The question is, is there a phrase I can say before something that might be taken as harsh or blunt to soften the blow?

这个问题来自佩瑶。

And that comes to us from Pei Yao.

非常感谢你提出这个问题。

So thank you so much for that question.

对。

Yes.

是的，我们确实有这类说法。

Yeah, we definitely do have phrases for this.

所以这是关于在说之前先讲一些话，对吧？

So this is about saying something before, right?

所以我们不是不能讲之后该说什么，这个可以以后再聊，对吧？

So it's not like, we could also talk about what to say after, at another point, right?

比如，如果你觉得自己说了什么听起来很刺耳的话。

Like, oh, if you think that you said something that sounded harsh.

对。

Yes.

但这次我们讲的是在说之前，先讲一些话来缓和一下。

But this is about what to say before to soften the blow.

奥布里，缓和一下是什么意思？

What does it mean to soften the blow, Aubrey?

对，就是任何让话听起来不那么直接、生硬或刺耳的说法。

Yeah, so anything that makes it not feel so direct or blunt or harsh.

就像字面意思的‘软化打击’，如果你打人一拳，但没使那么大力，那就是在‘软化打击’。

Just like soften the blow if you were to literally soften a blow, that would mean if you're punching something and you don't hit quite as hard, you would be softening the blow.

我们也在语言中把它用作习语或比喻。

We also use this idiomatically, metaphorically with language.

有些话可能听起来很刺耳或很强硬，我们会用很多委婉的说法来软化它。

Something that might come across as really harsh or strong, we'll soften it by using a lot of language phrases that we use to soften.

我还想特别提一下佩瑶。

And I also want to give Pei Yao a little bit of a shout-out.

她是咱们社区里的成员。

She is in our community.

她每周三都来参加问答环节。

She comes to Q&A every Wednesday.

太棒了。

Awesome.

我觉得她是在问答环节或者我们其他的现场演讲活动中问这个问题的。

And I think that's where she asked this question was in Q&A or maybe at one of our other live speaking events.

她非常棒，所以你好，向佩瑶问好。

She's amazing, so hello, and shout out to Pei Yao.

谢谢你，佩瑶。

Thank you, Pei Yao.

谢谢你一直提出这么多好问题。

Thank you for always all of the great questions.

是的。

Yes.

但我对此很兴奋，因为这也很有文化特色，你可能想确保自己不会太严厉或太直接，而且你可能想知道，如果我觉得某些话可能听起来有点刺耳，我可以用哪些短语来缓和一下——

But yeah, I'm excited for this because this is very cultural, too, that you might want to make sure that you're not being too harsh or too direct, and you might want to know, what phrases can I use to make sure if I feel like something might come across a little harshly-

是的

Yes

……我该怎么缓和呢？

... how can I soften that?

这个问题问得真好。

This is a really good question.

对，那我们就来聊聊一些你可以用的表达。

Yeah, and so we're going to go over some phrases that you can use.

我觉得这些表达对拉近关系特别有帮助。

I think they're so good for connection.

完全同意。

Absolutely.

那我们一个个来看。

Let's go through them.

在开始之前，不管你在哪里听播客，都请点一下关注，这样就不会错过我们的任何内容。

Before we do, we want you to hit the follow button wherever you're listening to the podcast, so you never miss anything from us.

不管你在哪里听，记得点关注，如果你是在YouTube上看，也一定要点订阅。

Wherever you're listening, hit follow, or if you are watching on YouTube, definitely hit subscribe.

对，太棒了。

Yes, awesome.

好的。

All right.

我们来看第一个，就是“没有冒犯的意思”。

Let's go into the first one here, which is to say, "No offense."

这个短语有两种用法，一种是我们想让对方知道我们的话不是要冒犯他们，或者……

And this is one of these phrases we can either use it when we want the other person to know we're not trying to offend them with our comment or...

有趣的是，我们会在开头或结尾说这句话。

It's interesting, we will say this at the beginning or the end.

我们会说——

We'll say-

……“没有冒犯的意思，但我发现那个演示有点让人困惑。”

... "No offense, but I found that presentation a little confusing."

或者如果我们担心别人会介意，我们可能会把它加在句尾，然后说“没有冒犯的意思”。

Or we might tack it on at the end if we're worried someone will take offense, and then we'll say, "No offense."

是的。

Yes.

我的意思是，或者，“无意冒犯，但那个评论似乎有点出格，”这——

I mean, or, "No offense, but that comment seemed a bit out of pocket," which-

“出格”这个说法挺有意思的。

Out of pocket's an interesting phrase.

我越来越常听到这个说法了。

I am hearing that more and more.

它的意思有点像——

It kind of means like-

真的吗？

Are you really?

就是说它出乎意料，其实也不是不合适，只是不一定……

That it's unexpected or not inappropriate really, it just means not necessarily...

我觉得就是出乎意料，可能不太理想。

I think just unexpected and maybe not ideal.

我在想还能怎么表达这个意思。

I'm trying to think of how else we would say that.

就是说某件事不一定是最适合当前情况的。

It's to say that something is not necessarily the best thing for the situation.

所以不是不合适——

So not inappropriate-

……只是有点不太理想。

... but just sort of not ideal.

好的。

Okay.

有意思。

Interesting.

但有时候，我个人觉得，当我们说“无意冒犯”的时候，其实就是在冒犯。

But sometimes, I personally think sometimes when we say no offense, it is offense.

对我来说，有时候“无意冒犯”本身听起来就有点刺耳，但也不总是这样。

To me, sometimes no offense in itself sounds a little harsh, but not always.

你懂吗？

Do you know?

你——

Do you-

我懂你的意思。

I know what you mean.

这就像，当然最好别说冒犯的话，而不是——

This is like of course it's better to just not say something offensive than to like-

——说了冒犯的话，然后再说“别介意”之类的。

... say something offensive and then be like, "No offense."

因为通常你说这话的时候，你知道自己说的话很冒犯。

Because you usually when you say this, you know you're saying something offensive.

对，是的。

That's, yes.

更好的做法就是干脆别说冒犯的话，对吧？

And the better move is to just not say the offensive thing, right?

没错。

Exactly.

这很有趣。

That's funny.

对，尤其是如果你在说之前，比如“无意冒犯，但是……”

Yeah, especially if you're saying it before like, "No offense but..."

这……

It-

无意冒犯，但是……

No offense but-

这很难，因为……

It's hard because like-

……

...

我讨厌你的鞋子。

I hate your shoes.

就像，嗯……

Like well-

没错。

Exactly

……那你就别说那些冒犯人的话呗？

... how about you just don't say anything offensive?

对。

Exactly.

如果你说某句话之前非得加一句“无意冒犯”，那你得先想想自己为什么要说那句话。

If you have to say no offense before something, then maybe consider why you're saying that in the first place.

关键还是看动机，对吧？

It's all about the intent, right?

我们经常用这个说法，比如——

We use this phrase like-

在说出口的时候。

At the delivery.

那倒也是。

That's true, too.

如果你觉得某句话可能听起来有点刺耳、刻薄或者强烈，但你其实没有那个意思，你可能会用这个来缓和一下，对吧？

If you think something might come across as harsh or mean or intense, but you really don't intend that, maybe you would soften it with this, right?

你希望对方知道你没有生气，没有冒犯的意思。

You want the other person to know that you're not angry, that you're not intending offense.

这算是给对方打个预防针，让他们有个心理准备。

It sort of prepares the other person for what's coming.

但是，是的，我同意米歇尔，我觉得这常常很棘手，因为它几乎是一个可能让人敏感的短语。

But yeah, I agree, Michelle, that I think often it's tricky because it's almost like a phrase that could trigger people.

他们会说——

They're like-

……“你就不能别说冒犯的话吗？”

... "How about you just don't say anything offensive?"

但如果你真的想用，你可以说：“无意冒犯，但是……”

But if you do want to use it, you could say something like, "No offense, but..."

然后再说出你想说的那些直白的话。

And then whatever you're going to say that might be blunt.

比如说，“没有冒犯的意思，但那套衣服可能不适合这个场合”，或者“没有冒犯的意思，但我觉得那个计划行不通”。

So like, "No offense, but that outfit might not be appropriate for the event," or, "No offense, but I don't think that plan will work."

我们还能用“冒犯”造出什么别的句子？

What's another way that we could use offense?

我们有一个更长的说法，比如“请别见怪，但是……”

We have sort of the longer phrase where you might say, "Please don't take offense to this, but..."

这样语气就更缓和了，对吧？

And that is softening it even more, right?

对。

Yes.

因为确实，“没有冒犯的意思，但是”还是有点直接。

Because it's true that, "No offense, but," is still pretty just kind of blunt.

所以这就像——

So this is like-

对。

Yes.

……

.. .

多加一些词，让语气更柔和。

adding more words to make it softer.

“别介意，但你的消息听起来有点不礼貌。”

"Don't take offense to this, but your message came off a bit rude."

所以，这是你想指出对方某些让你不舒服的地方，然后你试着……用一种尊重的方式开头。

So this is where you're trying to call someone out for something you maybe found offensive, and then you're trying to- ... start that in like a respectful way.

比如，“我不是想冒犯你，但我觉得有些话我们得说清楚。”

Like, "I don't mean to be offensive, but I'm going to say something that I think we need to talk out."

但你确实冒犯了。

But you are offensive.

没错。

Exactly.

“不是想冒犯你，但你冒犯了我。”

"Not to be offensive, but you offended me."

但我觉得，是的，“别介意”，这比“无意冒犯”要稍微柔和一点，对吧？

But I do think that, yeah, "Don't take offense," so this is a little bit softer than, "No offense," right?

如果你说“无意冒犯，但你的消息有点不礼貌”，那几乎就像是在抬杠。

If you say, "No offense, but your message came off a bit rude," it's almost like a little more argumentative.

感觉并没有真正让气氛缓和下来——

It's like not really cooling things down-

……至少在我看来。

... in my opinion.

有意思。

Interesting.

好的。

All right.

我们再多分享几种说法，因为，是的，“无意冒犯”并不是最柔和的，对吧？

We're going to share a couple more ways to say this, because, yeah, no offense is not the softest, right?

还有很多更礼貌的说法。

There are a lot that are even more polite.

比如说，"我没什么别的意思，但是……"

So for example, "I don't mean anything by this, but..."

然后你会说一些可能让人觉得有点直接或者生硬的话，对吧？

And then you'll say something that there is a chance someone would consider blunt or direct, right?

这是为了让对话保持轻松。

It's trying to keep the conversation light.

不会太情绪化。

It's not overly emotional.

所以你可以说，"我没什么别的意思，但你刚才说话的时候看起来有点生气。"

So you might say, "I don't mean anything by this, but you seemed a little angry when you were talking earlier."

有意思的是，如果你要问别人，比如"你生气了吗？"

So it's interesting, because if you're going to tell someone like, "Are you mad?"

你会问他们，"你生我的气了吗？"

You're going to ask them like, "Are you mad at me?"

你可能会想说点什么，让他们知道，这是一次礼貌、友好的对话。

You would maybe want to say something to let them know like, this is a polite, friendly conversation.

或者，“我不是那个意思，但那个笑话真的不太好笑。”

Or, "I don't mean anything by this, but that joke didn't really land."

哦，这可能是当有人讲了一个不合适的笑话的时候。

Oh, and this could be if someone tells like an inappropriate joke.

也许它带种族歧视，也许它有点低俗，你觉得自己不能只是——你不仅不会笑，而且你不想就这么算了，对吧？

Maybe it's racist, maybe it's off color, and you feel like you don't want to just, not only are you not going to laugh, but you don't want to let it lie, right?

你觉得你需要说点什么。

You feel like you need to say something.

然后这就有点棘手了，因为当你说“我不是那个意思”的时候，这其实是在说你可能不坚持自己说的话。

And then it's tricky because when we say, "I don't mean anything by this," it kind of is saying that you don't maybe stand by what you're saying.

所以如果你真的想清楚地告诉——

So if you really do want to be clear with-

……某人，让他们知道“我对你说的话不太满意”，那你可能就直接说：“你知道，我不太喜欢那个笑话。”

... someone and let them know, "I'm not okay with what you said," then you probably would just say, "You know, I didn't love that joke."

有时候我们就是需要直接一点。

Sometimes we do need to just be blunt.

看情况吧。

It depends.

我们不是，这真的——

We don't, it real-

看情况和——

Depends on the situation and the like-

看你在跟谁说。

It's who you're talking to.

他们冒犯的程度有多严重？

How bad is their offense?

因为很多这种说法，你是在用这种软化的话来削弱你自己想表达的意思。

Because a lot of these phrases, you're undermining what you're saying by using this phrase that softens.

所以这取决于你想不想这么做，对吧？

So it depends on if you want to do that or not, right?

所以你真的得好好想想，你想给人什么印象，你想听起来多强硬。

So you have to really think about that, and how you want to come off, and how strong you want to sound.

但是有这些工具是好的。

But it is good to have these tools.

是的。

Yes.

在你的母语里，你有自己的个性。

In your first language, you have personality.

你会开玩笑、插话、反驳。

You joke, you interrupt, you push back.

但是在英语里，你可能会觉得自己变小了，更谨慎，表达不如真实的自己。

But in English, you might feel smaller, more careful, less expressive than you really are.

如果英语感觉像在过滤你的个性，也许是时候去理解为什么了。

If English feels like it's filtering your personality, it may be time to understand why.

我们免费的“两分钟流利度测试”能帮你看到是什么阻碍你自由、自然地说话和与人交流。

Our free two-minute fluency quiz helps you see what's holding you back from speaking freely and naturally, and connecting.

另外，你还能知道你现在英语的水平。

Plus, you get your current English level.

是B1、B2还是C1？

Is it B1, B2, or C1?

今天就搞清楚吧。

Find out today.

现在就上allearsenglish.com/fluencyscore做测试。

Take the quiz now at allearsenglish.com/fluencyscore.

就是allearsenglish.com/F-L-U-E-N-C-Y-S-C-O-R-E。

That's allearsenglish.com/F-L-U-E-N-C-Y-S-C-O-R-E.

好了，我们还有两个。

All right, we have two more.

第一个是，“请别误会，但是……”和“我没什么别的意思”很像。

The first one is, "Please don't take this the wrong way, but..." Very similar to, "I don't mean anything by this."

这能强调，当然，你的本意不是要惹人生气或冒犯别人。

And this will emphasize that, of course, your intention is not to anger or offend someone.

所以，“请别误会，但是我觉得你可以更有条理一些。”

So, "Please don't take this the wrong way, but I think you could be more organized."

或者，“请别误会，但你的语气听起来有点太严肃了。”

Or, "Please don't take this the wrong way, but your tone sounded a bit too serious."

这个挺有意思的。

So this is interesting.

这是在你给别人提意见或者纠正别人行为的时候用的。

This is if you're giving feedback to someone or correcting someone's behavior.

用这种说法是为了缓和语气，因为如果直接说，会显得很生硬。

You're using a phrase like this to soften it, because if you say it by itself, it would feel very harsh.

我觉得这个是我最喜欢的。

I think that this one is my favorite.

对我来说，这个听起来最礼貌。

This one, to me, sounds the most polite.

你觉得呢？

But what do you think?

我同意。

I agree.

我喜欢这个。

I like this.

请别误会我的意思。

Please don't take this the wrong way.

你并没有收回你说过的话。

You're not backing off from what you said.

你并没有说“我不是这个意思”。

You're not saying, "I don't mean this."

“我没什么别的意思。”

"I don't mean anything by it."

这很有意思。

That's interesting.

你是在尽量排除任何可能让他们觉得你在为什么事情生气的可能性，对吧？

You're trying to remove any possibility that they would think that you are angry about something, right?

是的。

Yes.

或者这样，我们再试一个。

Or here, we'll do one more.

“先说清楚，我没生气，但是……”

"For the record, I'm not upset, but..."

所以，这强调了你没事，但确实发生了些不愉快的事。

So, this emphasizes that you're okay, but something negative did happen.

所以，“先说清楚，我没生气，但我希望你能早点告诉我。”

So, "For the record, I'm not upset, but I wish you had told me earlier."

对，而且有意思的是，如果你只说“我希望你能早点告诉我”，那我们就会觉得你在生气，对吧？

Yeah, and it's interesting, if you just say, "I wish you had told me earlier," then we would assume you are upset, right?

所以我们用这个开头来表明，是的，我在分享我的感受，我在说这件事，但我没生气。

So we preface with this in order to share that, yes, I'm sharing my feelings, I'm talking about this, but I'm not upset.

所以，只有你真的不生气的时候才用这个。

So only use this if you really aren't upset.

没错。

Exactly.

我可能也会说：“一切都好，但是……”对吧？

I also might say, "Everything's okay, but..." Right?

或者，“没事，但我希望……”

Or, "It's okay, but I wish..."

因为如果你真的还在生气，对吧，你要诚实地面对自己的情绪。

Because if you really are still upset, right, you want to be honest about the emotions.

比如说，“我没事，但我想谈谈这件事。”

Like, "I'm fine, but I want to talk about this."

所以，“郑重声明，我没生气，但你让我有点措手不及。”

So, "For the record, I'm not upset, but that caught me off guard."

或者你可以说：“一切都好，但你让我有点措手不及。”

Or you could say, "Everything's fine, but that caught me off guard."

对，我喜欢这个。

Yeah, I like that.

好，我们走之前要不要来一次角色扮演？

Okay, shall we do a role play before we head out?

那咱们开始吧。

Let's do it.

咱们俩是朋友，刚跟共同的朋友莎拉碰了面。

You and I are friends here, and we just met up with a mutual friend, Sarah.

我刚才在聊天里有点不太客气。

And I came off a bit rude in our conversation.

那你想不想先开头？

So, you want to start us out?

哎呀。

Uh-oh.

好。

Okay.

嘿，我刚才注意到点事儿。

Hey, I noticed something a little earlier.

别误会，不过我觉得你打断莎拉好几次了。

Please don't take this the wrong way, but I think you cut Sarah off a couple times.

哦，哇，真的吗？

Oh, wow, really?

我没注意到。

I didn't notice.

没有冒犯的意思，但那样显得有点强势。

And no offense, but it came across as a little intense.

明白了。

Got it.

我绝对不是故意的。

I definitely didn't mean to do that.

我知道。

I know.

我不是要针对你，只是下次也许可以多停顿一下。

I don't mean anything by this, but maybe just pause a bit more next time.

对，说得有道理。

Yeah, that's fair.

谢谢你告诉我。

Thanks for telling me.

当然。

Of course.

谢谢你这么能接受意见。

Thanks for being so receptive.

我知道你不是故意要那样的。

I know you didn't mean any of it to come off that way.

我完全能跟人这样聊天，因为确实会这样，我一兴奋就想分享点什么。

I could totally have this conversation with people because I do, I'll get excited about something I want to share.

对。

Sure.

我可能会打断别人或者抢话。

I might interrupt or talk over someone.

你们在播客里也听过我这样。

You guys have heard me do this on the podcast.

所以我完全能想象朋友会告诉我这个，比如‘你老打断我’，或者别人也会这么说。

And so I could totally see a friend letting me know this, be like, "You're interrupting me a lot," or someone else.

然后我就会说，‘我的错。

And I'd be like, "My bad.

谢谢。’

Thank you."

记下了。

Note taken.

所以我说，‘请别误会，但我觉得你打断莎拉好几次了。’

So, I said, "Please don't take this the wrong way, but I think you cut Sarah off a couple times."

所以这样说‘别误会’挺好的，对吧？

So this is nice to say, "Don't take this the wrong way," right?

你只是在分享，就像‘我不想伤害你的感情。

You're just sharing, like, "I don't want to hurt your feelings.

我不想冒犯你，但我在跟你分享一些我希望你也能跟我分享的事。’

I don't want to offend you, but I'm sharing something with you that I would want you to share with me."

这是一个很好的说法，在你要给出反馈时，能很好地维护关系。

This is a good phrase that does a lot of work there to save the connection if you're going to give some kind of feedback.

这是我最喜欢的。

This is my favorite.

是的，我同意。

Yes, I agree.

但你说的是——

But then you said-

然后，对，

And then, yeah

……“没有冒犯的意思，但感觉有点太强烈了。”

... "And no offense, but it came across a little intense."

所以你觉得这比单纯说‘嘿，顺便说一下，发生了这件事’要严重，光说不够。

So you're feeling like it's bigger than, it's not enough to just say, "Hey, FYI, this happened."

你接下来想说，而且我不想让你觉得被冒犯，对吧？

You would then want to say, and I don't want you to take offense, right?

“没有冒犯的意思，但听起来有点冲。”

"No offense, but it came across a little intense."

所以这里你是在进一步强调，对吧？

So here you're digging in more, right?

你想让他们知道，我不是想让你生气，但我需要你知道——

You're wanting them to know, I don't want you to be offended, but I need you to know that-

……可能需要进行一些纠正。

... probably some kind of correction needs to be made.

然后我说：“我没什么别的意思，但下次也许可以稍微停顿一下。”

And then I said, "I don't mean anything by this, but maybe just pause a bit more next time."

这挺有意思的，因为对我来说，我觉得最后那句我不会说。

So this is interesting because to me, I'm like, all right, I don't feel like I would say this last one.

我觉得——

I feel like-

我想，我的猜测是——

I think it's my guess is-

……

...

我觉得这有点过了。

I think it's a little too much.

就像，哦。

It's like, oh.

好吧。

All right.

我已经说过了。

I already said it.

对，这就是有趣的地方。

Yeah, that's what's interesting.

我希望你收敛一点。

I want you to lay off.

我们想在这里的角色扮演中把所有这些都用上。

We're wanting to use all of them in a role play here.

但我觉得，如果在平常对话里，你大概不会把这三个都用上，因为那样就有点过分了。

But I agree, if in a regular conversation, you probably would not use all three of these, because then you're piling on.

你有一个——

You've got one-

而且你身上有味道。

And you smell bad.

而且我不想再跟你做朋友了，别介意啊。

And I don't want to be friends anymore, no offense.

而且我不喜欢你的穿着。

And I don't like your outfit.

没错。

Exactly.

就像你只是——

It's like you're just like-

所以你可能就只用其中一个。

So you probably just would use one.

用一个，纠正一下，然后就算了，因为否则的话，那个……

Use one, correct something, and then let it go, because otherwise the per-

这时候，对方可能会觉得有点不自在，就像，“好吧，对不起。”

At this point, it kind of felt uncomfortable with the other person like, "Okay, sorry.

“我要走了。”

I'm going to leave now."

就像，好吧，那我为什么不……

Like, all right, why don't I...

要不我先走？

How about if I go?

对，也许吧，对。

Yeah, maybe, yeah.

没错。

Exactly.

我喜欢你，对。

I would like you, yeah.

所以我建议在对话中只用一次——

So I'd recommend just one in a conversation-

……这些方法里的任何一种。

... of any of these.

这取决于个人的风格，但对你我来说，米歇尔——

And this is according to someone's own style, but for both you and I, Michelle-

……我们会用其中一种。

... we would use one of these.

我们会分享反馈，然后换个话题继续。

We would share the feedback, and then we'd change the subject and move on.

即使是第二次，如果必须的话，也没关系。

Even the second, if you have to, it was okay.

但第三次我肯定会想：‘行了，别再说了。’

But certainly the third was where I was like, "All right, lay off."

别再说了。

Lay it off.

就是，我很抱歉。

It's like, I'm sorry.

我明白。

I get it.

有意思的是，我们在讨论怎么说话不直接，是的，你可以用很多这些委婉的开场白，但如果你要……

And it's funny because it's like we're talking about how to not be blunt, and yeah, you can use as many as these nice ways to start it off as you want, but if you're going to-

但你还是在反复批评别人。

But you're still being critical over and over again.

所以总的来说，这违背了使用……

So overall, it defeats the purpose of using-

没错。

Exactly

……委婉语言的目的，因为……

... the nice language because-

我觉得……

I think-