AEE 第13集：如何在美国约会

这是《All Ears English》播客第13期，主题是如何在美国约会。

This is an All Ears English Podcast episode 13, how to date in America.

欢迎收听《All Ears English》播客，全球下载量已超过两亿次。

Welcome to the All Ears English Podcast downloaded more than 200,000,000 times.

你是不是觉得自己的英语进步卡住了？

Are you feeling stuck with your English?

我们会教你如何放下对完美的执念，专注于真实交流，从而自信流利地说英语。

We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection.

本期节目由你们的美国主持人林赛·麦马洪——这位英语冒险家，和米歇尔·卡普兰——这位纽约电台女孩，分别从科罗拉多和纽约市为大家带来。

With your American host, Lindsey McMahon, the English adventurer, and Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl, coming to you from Colorado and New York City, USA.

在美国的约会方式，和你们国家有什么不一样？

How is dating different in American culture compared with your culture?

今天我们要聊聊线上约会、面对面约会，还有找到真爱的小贴士。

Today, we talk about dating online in person and our tips for finding the love of your life.

你有没有过和别人用英语聊天后，心里想着：其实我本可以说得更好？

Have you ever left a conversation in English thinking, I know I could have said that better.

你心里有想法，词汇量也够，可一开口，英语就是说不出来你想要的样子。

You had the ideas, you had the vocabulary, but in the moment, your English didn't come out the way you wanted.

这可是B2级别学习者最头疼的问题之一。

That's one of the biggest frustrations for b two learners.

B2英语流利课程能帮你把知道的东西，真正用到实际对话里。

The b two English fluency course helps you bridge the gap between what you know and what you can actually say in real conversations.

现在报名，基础版立减50美元，一对一辅导版直接省100美元。

And right now, you can save $50 on basic or a $100 on personal coach.

别拖了。

But don't wait.

这个优惠很快就要结束了。

This offer ends soon.

去 allearsenglish.com/btwo 了解更多。

Go to allearsenglish.com/btwo.

网址是 allearsenglish.com/bnumbertwo。

That's allearsenglish.com/bnumbertwo.

嘿，米歇尔。

Hey, Michelle.

你今天怎么样？

How are you doing today?

一切都还好吗？

How's everything?

我挺好的。

I'm good.

我挺好的。

I'm good.

你呢？

How are you?

特别棒。

Excellent.

今天特别想聊聊美国的约会文化。

I'm so excited to talk today about dating in America.

天哪。

Oh my gosh.

这话题真有意思。

What a topic.

现在约会可真有意思。

You know, nowadays fun.

这一直都是个有趣的话题。

This is it's always a fun topic.

今天这话题肯定特别有意思。

This is gonna be a fun topic.

我们都经历过美国的约会，而且我们自己就是美国人。

You know, we both have experience with dating in The US, and we are from The US.

我特别好奇世界上其他文化里的约会是怎么样的。

And I'm really curious about how dating works in other cultures around the world.

但今天，我们主要聊聊在线约会。

But today, we're gonna give our 2¢ specifically on online dating.

所以，网上约会是什么时候开始出现的，米歇尔？

So when did online dating crop up, Michelle?

它是什么时候在美国流行起来的？

When did it become popular in The US?

哦。

Oh.

你有概念吗？

Any idea?

随便猜一个。

Just take a guess.

我们也不清楚。

We don't know.

会不会是大概两年前？

Was it maybe, like, two okay.

我得想想。

I have to think.

2005年？

2005?

对。

Mhmm.

没错。

Mhmm.

是的。

Yeah.

大概是那个时候吧。

Maybe something like that.

你懂的。

You know?

我觉得九十年代的时候，网上交友还很不主流，大家都不太接受。

I think that in the nineties, it was still very dark and no one was it wasn't very accepted.

但我觉得大概是2000年代中期到后期，我特别喜欢这么说。

But I think somewhere around the mid aughts or the late aughts I love saying that, by the way.

米歇尔，这对我们的听众来说意味着什么？

What does that mean, Michelle, for our listeners about it?

你是我唯一听到这么说的人。

I you're the only person I hear.

我是唯一一个这么说的人。

I'm the only one that says that.

我每次听你这么说，上次也是，隔一阵子就忘了。

I I always I've I heard you say that last time too, and, like, every once in a while, then I always forget about it.

那到底是什么意思？

So what is that?

就是两千年初，紧挨着2010年代之前。

That's the early two thousands right before the tens.

据我所知，‘零零年代’是这么叫的，希望我没说错。

So the aughts, as far as I know, I hope I'm not saying this wrong.

天哪。

Oh my gosh.

我得再确认一下，但时间范围应该是两千年初到2010年左右。

I gotta double But the odds are the two like, thousand to twenty ten.

所以就是这个时期。

So that's Yeah.

我也是这么想的。

That's what I figured.

对。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

两千。

The two thousands.

你也可以这么说，朋友们，两千。

You could also say, guys, the two thousands.

这样挺好。

That's fine.

所以，总之我们先做个记录，下一期再跟进。

So, anyways, we'll just do a check on that, follow-up on another episode.

也许我们可以专门做一期，米歇尔，聊聊怎么谈论不同的年代。

Maybe we'll do a whole another episode, Michelle, on how to talk about the decades.

但是

But

那挺有意思的。

Oh, that's fun.

是的。

Yeah.

我觉得，像Match.com和OkCupid这样的网站，大概是在二月份左右开始流行起来的。

I think, you know, sites like match.com, OkCupid, those became mainstream in the February, I would say.

对。

Mhmm.

是的。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

没错。

Yeah.

当然了。

Definitely.

现在呢，各种约会应用都遍地都是了。

And now, I mean, there's all the apps.

对吧？

Right?

那是什么？

What is it?

Bumble，还有

Bumble and then

叫什么来着？

What is it called?

Tinder。

Tinder.

Tinder。

Tinder.

Tinder。

Tinder.

我现在都记得，我是在网上认识我丈夫的。

Now I'm like so I met my husband online.

明白了。

Okay.

那你有个故事要跟我们说。

So you have a story for us.

是的。

Yeah.

对，我是说确实如此。

So, I mean yeah.

我们是在OkCupid上认识的。

We met on OkCupid.

哎呀。

Aw.

其实我之前也试过一阵子线上约会，但真的挺讨厌的。

And, yeah, I had been doing online dating for a little bit of time, and I actually hated it.

我当时觉得，这种方式根本不可能遇到合适的人。

I was like, I'm never gonna meet anyone this way.

这种认识人的方式，感觉太不真实了。

This is, like, kind of an artificial way of meeting someone.

然后我就遇到了我丈夫。

And then I met my husband.

哦，太棒了。

Oh, that's amazing.

那你给我们讲讲细节吧。

And now, like, give us a few details here.

你们聊了多久才见面？

Did you now how long did you guys message?

这总是个让人好奇的问题。

That's always a question.

对吧？

Right?

你们聊天多久之后才约见面的？

How long did you message before you met up?

因为每个人对这事的做法都不一样。

Because everyone has a different philosophy on how to do this.

我觉得我们来回聊了几次，大概三来两去吧。

I think just like a we were back and forth a few times, so maybe, yeah, maybe like three back and forths.

我不太确定。

I don't know.

我当时就想，不如直接见面吧，反正就是这样。

I'm I was kind of of the mindset, like, just like, let's meet because Exactly.

你真的很难说清楚，我也说不好。

You just can't really I don't know.

依我的经验，你根本没法判断，除非真的见了面。

In my my experience, like, I bet you can't really tell unless you actually just meet the person.

你确实得这么办。

So You really do.

他发的消息特别有趣，之类的。

You know, he wrote funny messages and things like that.

我就想，好吧。

And it's like, okay.

那咱们就见面吧。

Well, let's just meet.

我们确实见了。

And we did.

现在我们结婚了。

And now we're married.

这太棒了。

That's amazing.

我知道每个人的看法都不一样。

I know everyone has a different philosophy.

我以前网上约会时也是这么想的，因为那时候我住在纽约，就在曼哈顿嘛。

My philosophy when I was online dating was the same because I was living in New York, and I was like, I'm already in Manhattan.

不如直接出来喝杯啤酒。

Let's just meet for a beer.

总比我跑回家方便多了。

It'll be easier than me going home.

我干嘛非得回家，花几个小时给你发消息？

Why should I go home, write hours of messages to you?

而且我可能白费劲了，压根不知道喜不喜欢你，有没有感觉。

And I may be completely wasting my time because I don't know if I like you or I'm even attracted.

对吧？

Right?

没错。

Right.

是啊。

Yeah.

对。

Right.

就是说，我也说不清楚。

It just and I don't know.

我那时候也是这么想的。

That that's exactly how I felt about it.

说来也挺有意思的，现在呢，我们俩在一起都快十年了。

And it's just funny because now, you know, you I mean, so we're together almost ten years.

哇哦。

Wow.

你们还生了孩子。

And you have a baby.

天哪。

Oh my gosh.

真了不起。

That's amazing.

是啊。

Yeah.

对啊。

Yeah.

时间过得真快，不过现在挺有意思的是，我有些年纪比较小的家人，还有些单身的朋友，他们都在用那些交友软件。

So it's been it's been a while, but now it's funny because I know, you know, like, certain family members of mine who are younger, who are or or actually friends too who are single, who are looking, you know, they're more on these apps.

我对这些 apps 真的一点都不了解。

And it's like, I don't really know anything about these.

所以我现在还停留在很久以前的在线约会方式里。

So I'm, like, left in the, you know, I'm, like, left in the old ages of online dating.

我都怀疑 OkCupid 现在还有人用。

I don't even know if OkCupid is is a thing anymore.

不过估计还是有的吧。

I guess it probably is.

对了，那个就是那个约会网站的名字。

Guys, that's the name of the the dating site.

要不我们随便说几个吧。

But, I mean, maybe we'll throw out some names.

我们刚才提到，Bumble 现在美国挺常见的。

So we've said, you know, Bumble is another one that's really common now in The US.

还有 OkCupid。

OkCupid.

我不确定eHarmony现在还有人用。

I don't know if eHarmony is a thing anymore.

我也不太清楚，是啊。

I don't even know, Yeah.

好问题。

Good question.

还有专门给老年人用的交友网站。

And then there are sites for senior citizens.

各种各样的平台多了去了。

There's lots of things.

但对我来说，网上交友只是个办法，让你先注意到某个人，然后尽快约出来见面，看看有没有真正的化学反应。

But to me, it's just a way to, like, notice that someone get someone on your radar and then as quickly as possible, get them in person to see if there's an actual connection.

光靠聊天，你怎么知道有没有默契呢？

Because how can you tell there's a connection in the messaging?

你说是不是？

You know?

是的。

Yeah.

我的意思是，对。

I mean yeah.

我同意。

I I agree.

所以我在想，现在是不是更普遍了？因为在这些应用上，我觉得你们见面的速度也更快。

So I wonder if that's like more of the norm nowadays is because on the apps, I think you probably also meet faster.

对。

Yeah.

我知道以前是这样，人们写很长的信，然后通过信件来判断彼此合不合适。

I mean, I know that it used to be like, you know, you write these long letters and then, you know, you can see if you like each other through the letters.

但说实话，确实如此。

But, like Yeah.

对我来说，这从来就不是我能理解的事。

To me, it was just never I don't know.

你可以写再多，但就是没法替代那种见面时有没有化学反应的感觉

You can you can write all you want, but it just it can't replace that chemistry that

是的

Yeah.

当你见到一个人的时候，那种感觉是有的，也可能根本没有

Does or doesn't exist when you meet a person.

提醒一下，我们的B2英语流利课程今晚就关闭报名了

Quick reminder, the doors to our b two English fluency course are closing tonight.

这是你最后一次机会，基础版立省50美元，私人教练版立省100美元

This is your last chance to save $50 on basic or a $100 on personal coach.

如果你厌倦了在脑子里翻译，厌倦了说话前犹豫不决，厌倦了觉得自己的英语配不上你的聪明才智，现在就是改变的时候

If you are tired of translating in your head, if you're tired of hesitating before speaking, if you're tired of feeling like your English doesn't reflect your true intelligence, now is the time to change that.

课程里有经过验证的系统、AI口语练习、实时对话机会，还有你需要的支持，帮你彻底突破B2瓶颈

Inside the course, you'll get a proven system, AI speaking practice, live conversation opportunities, and the support you need to finally move beyond the b two plateau.

但再过几个小时，这个优惠就没了

But in just a few hours, this offer disappears.

现在就去 allearsenglish.com/btwo。

Go now to allearsenglish.com/btwo.

就是 allearsenglish.com/letterbnumbertwo。

That's allearsenglish.com/letterbnumbertwo.

而且，我们这个社会变得快多了。

Well, and also the fact that our society has just become so much faster.

什么事都提速了。

Everything moves fast.

所以像 Tinder 这样的约会方式，放在今天还挺合理的。

So something like Tinder kinda makes sense for current day dating.

对吧？

Right?

就是左右滑动，看有没有感觉。

It's just swiping, and are you attracted?

我也说不准。

I don't know.

我从来没用过Tinder，所以也不太清楚，但我觉得上面聊天其实没多少。

I've never used Tinder, so I don't really know, but I don't think there's a ton of messaging in there.

我觉得它特别靠视觉，这点也挺麻烦的。

I think it's very visual, which is hard too.

对吧？

Right?

你可能错过或者直接刷掉一个其实特别有魅力的人，只是照片拍得不好，或者你根本没看出他有魅力。

Because, know, you could get eliminated or you could eliminate someone that actually might be very attractive, but it's just that the photos weren't good or you didn't necessarily know that they're attractive.

比如这个人幽默感特别强。

Like, the person has a great sense of humor.

对吧？

Right?

不真正在一起，你怎么知道呢？

How could you know that until you're with them?

这可就丢掉很多机会了。

And that adds a lot of points.

我觉得这正是最大的问题，你可能根本没注意到，其实有个特别合得来的人，你就这么划过去了。

I think that's the I think that's the one drawback is, like, you know, you may be swiping past, like, someone who you would really get along with Yeah.

就因为觉得对方个子不够高，或者对某个外貌特征特别挑剔。

Just because, oh, maybe you saw that you didn't like their height or, you know, you like become picky about some physical feature.

要是真能遇到这样的人，我一直都是这么想的。

And like, had you met that same person, this is how I always felt.

比如在读书会啊、运动小组啊，这种更自然的场合认识对方。

Like, had you met that same person at, you know, some, like, you know, book club or, like, or some, you know, sports group or something that, like, was more organic.

要是真在那种场合认识了，说不定你就会喜欢上他们，因为你先了解了他们这个人。

Had you met that person that way, maybe you would have liked them, you know, because you got to know them first.

但光靠看一张照片，真的很难判断。

But, like, just seeing a picture is so hard.

所以我一直觉得，这种办法根本不可能让我找到对象。

So that's how that's why I always felt like it's never gonna happen for me in that way.

但结果呢，还真就发生了。

But then then it does too.

所以这事儿确实挺难的。

So it's like, it's kinda hard.

你不想仅仅因为不喜欢某人的照片就直接划走吧。

You wanna you you you don't wanna just be like, oh, I don't like this person's picture.

没错。

Sure.

让我先见一面再说。

Let me meet.

但话说回来，你确实也该给人多一点机会。

But, you know, in in that way, you do wanna kinda maybe maybe give people an extra chance.

是的。

Yeah.

我觉得从这次对话里，我想传达给在美国想谈恋爱、想认识新人的听众的是，你得两方面都试试。

I think what I'm taking away from this conversation and our advice for any listeners that might be in The US wanting to date around, right, wanting to date and meet people, is you kinda have to do both.

对吧？

Right?

你得主动一点，多去参加活动。

You have to be active in your world signing up.

我是在一次露营周末认识我伴侣的。

Because I met my partner at a camping weekend.

对。

Mhmm.

那是给喜欢户外活动的人办的露营和徒步周末。

Camping and hiking weekend for outdoorsy people.

对吧？

Right?

我们要是在线上，根本不可能认识。

And we probably wouldn't have met online.

这确实是实话。

That's just the truth.

没错。

Right.

但与此同时，你得把个人资料保持更新，主动发消息，同时也要加入各种社团，参加线下活动。

But at the same time, like, you need to have your profile up and be messaging, yes, setting updates that way, and then you also need to be joining clubs, going to events.

这两样都得做。

So do both.

别只选其一。

Don't do one or the other.

我的建议就是这样。

That's what I would say.

对。

Right.

对。

Right.

对。

Right.

对。

Right.

没错。

Exactly.

正是如此。

Exactly.

天哪。

Oh my gosh.

这真是

This is

和我聊这个话题特别有意思。

a fun topic with me.

我肯定

I'm sure

我们以后在节目里还会继续聊约会的事。

we'll be talking more about dating on the show.

是的。

Yeah.

这太棒了。

This is fantastic.

不过各位，千万别错过《All Ears English》的任何一期。

But guys, make sure you don't miss a single episode of All Ears English.

无论你在哪儿听，记得关注或订阅《All Ears English》。

Follow All Ears English or hit subscribe wherever you are listening.

我们每周会推出四期内容。

We go we come at you with four episodes a week.

真的特别精彩。

It's so much So cool.

太棒了。

So cool.

好了，米歇尔。

Alright, Michelle.

咱们下期再见。

I'll see you in the next one.

保重。

Take care.

好的。

Alright.

再见，林赛。

Bye, Lindsey.

祝你今天愉快。

Have a good day.

再见。

Bye.

你想知道自己的英语水平吗？

Would you like to know your English level?

来做个两分钟的小测验吧。

Take our two minute quiz.

去 allearsenglish.com/fluencyscore 试试。

Go to allearsenglish.com/fluencyscore.

如果你相信的是连接，而不是完美，那就赶紧订阅吧，别错过任何内容。

And if you believe in connection not perfection, perfection, then hit subscribe now to make sure you don't miss anything.

下次见。

See you next time.