西拉·布拉沃

你知道吗，你一开始刷就停不下来，而这正是它的目的。

You know, you get started and you just can't stop scrolling, which, of course, is the purpose.

但我总幻想有一天能删除我所有的社交媒体账号。

But I fantasize about the day that I can delete all my social media accounts.

我也想。

I do too.

你的Instagram上有一些视频。

On your Instagram, you have some videos.

我觉得有十六个关于Sky和Ocean的视频。

I think there's, like, a 16 video of Sky and Ocean.

然后我看到你说你想当一名纪录片导演。

And then I read that you wanted to be a documentarian.

是的。

Mhmm.

你能跟我们讲讲这件事吗？

Will you tell us a little bit about this?

我的意思是，我喜欢你做的东西。

I mean, I love what you did.

谢谢你，我喜欢你的存在。

Thank I love your presence.

谢谢你。

Thank you.

关于社交媒体，我一直以来难以接受的是，它对我们的职业有多么重要。

Well, in terms of social media, I felt like what I always struggle to come to terms with is how important it is to our career.

这一直让我很困扰，因为数字开始变得如此重要，而我认为这并不能公平地评判一个人的才华或能力。

That's always really bothered me that numbers have started to matter so much because I don't think it's a fair judgment of a person or their talent or their ability.

所以我认为这是我抗拒它的主要原因。

So I think that's a main reason why I resist it.

而且，它也无法公平地展现一个完整的人。

It's also just, like, not a fair representation of a full person.

我觉得这在心理上可能会造成很大的伤害。

I think that can be really damaging mentally.

但对我来说，我的个人Instagram账号我想把它变成一种 snapshots，展现那些对我重要、能给我带来快乐的事物，而这些事物大多数时候都是我的狗和旅行。

But for my own personal Instagram, I wanted to turn it into, like, a sort of snapshot into what matters to me and what brings joy to my life, which, of course, ends up most of the time being my dog and traveling.

但我养成了一个习惯，拍摄时长在十六到三十秒之间的视频，记录那些吸引我注意、让我产生情感共鸣，或我想记住的瞬间。

But I've picked up this habit of taking videos between, like, sixteen and thirty seconds of moments that either catch my eye or make me feel something or moments that I wanna remember.

因为我最近发现，我很难回忆起那些我想一直留在脑海中的事情。

Because I found recently I'm having a hard time, like, recalling things that I would like to just keep at the front of my brain.

它们都沉入了深处。

They escaped to the depths.

为什么？

Why?

我也不清楚。

I have no idea.

这是最近才发生的事。

It's like a recent thing.

这并不是最近才有的事。

It's not super recent.

我觉得这一直是我的一种习惯，我会坐下来和我的祖父母或家人聊天，他们能非常细致地讲述自己成长时期那些精彩的故事。

I think it's something that I've always you know, I sit down and I have conversations with, like, again, my grandparents or my family members, and they're able to tell these incredible stories from their time growing up with such great detail.

而我坐在这里，心想：天啊。

And I'm sitting here and I'm like, shit.

我以前真的活过吗？

Have I lived before today?

他们只是

Well, they just

把细节补全。

fill it in.

我肯定。

Well, I'm sure.

他们特别有想象力。

They get very creative.

但现在我坐在这里，我正

But now I'm sitting here, I'm

比如，天哪。

like, damn.

我当时就想，等等

I was like, wait

等一下。

a second.

在今天之前我真的存在过吗？

Have I existed before today?

我早餐吃了什么？

What did I have for breakfast?

我知道这只是身为人类的一部分，但我希望能记住更多。

And I know that's part of just being a human being, but I wanna remember more.

所以，与其用子弹笔记，我选择录视频，因为我发现自己更喜欢声音。

So instead of, like, bullet journaling, I just take videos because I find I prefer sound.

这能帮助我更深入地沉浸到回忆中，然后我发现我能记住更多当天的事情。

It helps me immerse myself back into a memory more, and then I find I'm able to remember more of the day.

比如，我可以回到那个时刻，捕捉之前和之后的片段，以一种美好的方式重新体验它。

Like, I can go back into that moment and grab bits from, like, before that and after that and sort of relive it in a nice way.

我太喜欢这个了。

I love that.

好的。

Alright.

我们来谈谈感情吧。

Let's get on to relationships.

你一生中一定感受过爱。

So you have felt love in your life.

是的。

Yeah.

我觉得是的。

I think so.

你觉得你经历过几次恋爱？

Like, how many times have you fallen in love, you think?

只有一次。

Only once.

最近吗？

Recently?

是的。

Yeah.

那你觉得，大概是在过去两年内吗？

So was that, like, within the last two years, do you think?

嗯哼。

Mhmm.

是的。

Yeah.

那你们现在还在一起吗？

And are you guys still together?

我们是的。

We are.

我很喜欢你提到这个人时微笑的样子。

I love it that you smile when you talk about this person.

他太棒了。

He's wonderful.

我真高兴。

I'm so glad.

你们在隔离期间是一起度过的吗？

And have you guys been quarantining together?

在隔离的头三个月里，我们能在一起度过。

So we got to spend the first three months of quarantine we got to spend together.

但他来自爱尔兰，没有美国签证。

But he's Irish, and he does not have an American visa.

他没有工作签证之类的。

He doesn't have, like, a work visa or anything.

所以九十天后，他不得不离开美国。

So after ninety days, he had to get out of the country.

所以我们已经分开大约七个月了，哦。

So we've been apart for about seven months now Oh.

这已经

Which has been

天啊。

God.

没错。

Exactly.

这正是我的感受。

That is exactly how it feels.

这可能是我经历过的最强烈的情感痛苦，但有趣的是，身体竟能适应这类情况。

It's probably the most emotional pain I've ever been in, but it's interesting how the body is able to adjust to these sorts of things.

所以你们已经分开七个月了？

So you guys have been apart for seven months?

我想是的。

I think so.

大概是六个月或七个月。

It's six or seven.

你们什么时候能再见面？

When will you get to see each other again?

一旦边境重新开放，我们就能见面了。

Soon as those borders open back up.

该死。

Shit.

我知道。

I know.

这真的很棘手。

It's just tricky.

你知道吗，我总是会想到心碎和思乡带来的身体感受，它们其实是相关的。

You know, I always think about, like, the physical sensations of heartbreak and homesickness, which are kind of linked.

非常相似。

Super similar.

是的

Yeah.

从身体感受上来说，对我来说，那种感觉就像是在胃里

And it can feel in the physical sense, to me, it feels like you feel it in your gut

嗯

Mhmm.

一种缓慢而持续的疼痛

In just like the slow constant ache.

就像一种持续存在的钝痛

It's like a dull pain that's

只是

just

一直存在，以一种全新的方式感受到这种感觉非常有趣

constantly there, which is very interesting to feel that in a new way.

而且如果你不留意，这种感觉很容易影响你对其他一切的感受

And it's something that if you're not careful, can very easily taint the rest of how you feel everything else.

是的。

Yeah.

对。

Yes.

这是个很好的观点。

That's a great point.

这是个很好的观点。

That's a great point.

你说得对。

You're right.

就像所有感受都会被这种持续的钝痛所过滤，这并不理想。

Like, it all kind of gets filtered through that dull ache, which isn't ideal.

这确实不是好事，因此找到缓解这种疼痛的方法就变得尤为重要。

It's certainly not, which is why it becomes so important to, like, find a way to ease that pain.

这让我想起了你之前提到的关于樱桃的事。

Well, that makes me think about what you brought up earlier in regards to Cherry Mhmm.

以及我们如何通过主角的视角来看待艾米丽。

And how we see Emily through the protagonist Mhmm.

由汤姆·赫兰德饰演。

Played by Tom Holland.

你认为这种描绘公平吗？

Do you think that was a fair portrayal?

因为我觉得是公平的。

Because I did.

我觉得这部电影真的很有深度。

I thought the movie was really profound.

谢谢。

Thank you.

但我在想，你觉得从这个意义上讲它是否公平呢？

But I wonder, did you feel that it was fair in that sense, I guess?

它呈现的是一个完整的人物形象，还是经过修饰的？

That it was a complete picture of a character or was it modified?

我认为这是对角色的公正呈现，也符合我们所讲述的故事。

I think it's a fair portrayal of the character, and I think it's fair to the story that we're telling.

你知道，如果这是关于艾米莉本人与成瘾斗争的具体经历，那可能会不一样。

You know, I think it would be different if it was, like, Emily's specific struggle with addiction.

我的意思是，显然，情侣关系是这部电影极其重要的部分，也是故事中极其重要的部分。

I mean, obviously, being a couple is an extremely important part of the movie and an extremely important part of the story.

但就像我说的，这仍然是切里的故事。

But like I said, it is still Cherry's story.

这仍然是我们所了解的他的生活。

It's still his life that we're learning about.

所以我会说，从这个角度来看，这是公正的。

So I would say it's fair in that way.

我认为，没有更深入地探讨她的背景或更深入了解她作为一个人，我们并没有失去什么。

I don't think that we lost anything by not going deeper into her backstory or getting to know her more as a person.

我很欣赏你能认识到这一点。

I love that you recognize that.

好吧。

Alright.

如果表演突然变得非法，你靠什么谋生？

If acting suddenly became illegal, how would you make a living?

这个问题贯穿了我的青少年时期，我每天都在思考，这让我感到恐惧，因为我真的不知道。

This is the question that through my teenage years, I thought about every day, and it was terrifying because I actually don't know.

这种问题让我坐在这里想：我还有什么其他技能？

This is the type of thing where I'm sitting here, I'm like, what other skills do I have?

我完全理解你。

I'm so with you.

而且我不确定我有没有任何其他技能。

And I don't know if there are any.

但好吧。

But okay.

另一个我最近才了解到的、我非常向往的梦想职业。

For another, like, dream fantasy career that I would love to have, one that I just learned about recently.

好的。

Okay.

其实有两个。

There's two, actually.

首先，树木医生。

First and foremost, tree doctor.

是的。

Yeah.

我觉得这太酷了。

I just think it's the coolest thing.

我觉得这太了不起了。

I think it's amazing.

而且还能赚大钱。

Also, you make stupid money.

哦，我不知道这一部分。

Oh, I didn't know that part.

是的。

Yeah.

但这是一种非常专业的领域，我也非常喜欢能够理解像树木这样常常被忽视的事物的理念。

But it's just such a specialty, but I also love this idea of being able to understand something like a tree, which is so often just, like, looked over.

能够观察树干的生长方式，并理解树木何时经历过创伤或其他类似的情况。

And being able to look at the way a trunk is grown and understand when a tree has experienced trauma or, like, things like that.

而且有一种宁静。

And there's a quietness.

对。

Right.

一种平和。

A serenity.

百分之百。

100%.

与自然的连接，是我意识到自己真正渴望的东西。

Just a connectedness to nature is something I realized I really yearn for.

第二个，我想说的是某种特定的职位。

And the second one, I guess there's this certain position.

我不确定在护林员的世界里是不是这样，他们会把你派到这些偏远的山巅小木屋里，从那里可以俯瞰山谷，专门观察火灾。

I don't know if it's, like, in the world of park rangers or not, where they put you away in these, like, faraway locations in these cabins on the top of these beautiful hills where you can see over the valley and you just watch for fires.

你要报告天气变化，留意烟雾和火情，独自生活在这些美丽的地方。

And you report, like, the incoming weather, and you look out for smoke and fires, and you live in solitude in these beautiful places.

我本来想问问你关于独处这个想法。

I was gonna ask you about that, like, the idea of solitude.

我小时候住在华盛顿州，那里还有很多古老的瞭望塔，曾经有人住在里面。

I grew up in Washington State, and there are a bunch of still these old fire lookout towers that people did live in.

你可以徒步到达其中一些，它们非常棒。

You can hike to some of them, and they're amazing.

我觉得自己是个很擅长独处的人，嗯。

And I do think of myself as a person who is very good at being alone Mhmm.

或者和我的伴侣在一起。

Or with my partner.

我就是喜欢这种宁静，我一直都是这样。

I love just that kind of quietness, but I always have.

我不认为表演和那种公众表演的强烈感之间有直接关联，比如健康的独处。

I don't think it's a direct correlation between acting and having the intensity of sort of the public performance idea, like healthy solitude.

没错。

Exactly.

我觉得这特别有意思，因为通常人们想到演员时，都会觉得他们是那种时刻渴望成为焦点、生活中离不开这种关注的人。

Which I think it's so interesting because typically when people think about actors, they think about someone who desires being the center of attention at all times always, who, like, needs that in their life.

当然，他们在某种程度上确实依赖这种关注，但我非常需要独处才能感到做自己。

And as much, of course, they thrive on a certain level of that, I very much so need solitude to feel like myself.

我知道。

I know.

好吧。

Alright.

你在什么情况下会撒谎？

On what occasion do you lie?

我通常在觉得这样可以保护别人的感受时说谎，但有一次我发现自己在本不该说谎的时候却说了。

I usually lie when I feel like it's going to save somebody else's feelings, But then I caught myself doing it at a time when I should not have been doing it.

不一定算是撒谎，而是隐瞒了真相。

Not necessarily lying, but withholding the truth.

显然，结果让人很不舒服。

Obviously, the outcome was uncomfortable.

结果非常不舒服，但最后我还是想，好吧。

The outcome was extremely uncomfortable, but in the end, I was like, okay.

我本该早点这么做，这样就不会变成一个问题了。

I should have done this sooner so that it wouldn't have been a thing.

你明白我的意思吗？

You know what I mean?

是的。

Yes.

你试图保护自己和被你欺骗的人免受这种痛苦，但结果却因为没有坦诚相待，让痛苦加剧了110倍。

It's like you're trying to save yourself and the person you're lying to from this level of pain, but in turn, you make the pain a 110 times worse by not just being honest about it.

所以那是个很难学的教训。

So that was a hard lesson to learn.

我觉得在我们行业里也一样，贬低一个项目不是好的商业做法。

I think in our industry too, it's not good business to shit on a project.

天啊，当然不是。

Oh god, no.

天啊，当然不是。

Oh god, no.

不可能。

No way.

是的。

Yeah.

没错。

Exactly.

所以我们被迫对所有事情都表现得热情洋溢、充满活力。

So we're forced to be like flowery and enthusiastic about everything.

是的。

Yes.

对。

Right.

是的。

Yeah.

但这也正是我喜欢看到演员或我们行业里的人对项目如此坦诚的原因。

But that's also why I love when I see actors or people in our industry who are being so honest about projects.

比如，看到罗伯特·帕丁森回过头来谈论《暮光之城》，能够笑着调侃那段经历和拍摄这部电影的过程，我当时就想，天哪。

Like, watching Robert Pattinson go back and talk about Twilight and being able to, like, laugh about it and tease about the experience of what that film was and making it, I was like, oh god.

在某个时刻，你能回头坦然地说出这样的话，真是令人松了一口气。

What a relief that at a certain point, you can go back and just be like,

去他的。

fuck it.

哦，是的。

Oh, yeah.

这部电影太疯狂了。

This movie was bonkers.

你知道我的意思吧？

It was you know what I mean?

我喜欢这样，我觉得这特别令人耳目一新。

I enjoy that, and I find that so refreshing.

但，是的，我还是希望继续工作，不要把任何路走死。

But, yeah, I'd like to keep working and not burn any bridges.

是的。

Yeah.

我同意你的看法。

I'm with you on that.

你收到过的最重要的建议是什么？

What is the most important advice you've ever been given?

我收到过的最重要的建议来自我的朋友琳赛，她知识渊博，是我见过最睿智的女性。

The most important piece of advice I'd ever been given was from my friend Lindsay who has a wealth of knowledge, the wisest woman I've ever met.

但她最近告诉我，如果你意识到某件事是你的灵感之源，就要保持与它的联系，很多东西都会由此涌出。

But she told me once recently, if you recognize that something's a fountain for you, stay connected to it, and a lot will flow from that.

所以，如果你意识到某件事为你带来了快乐或平静，就要坚持做这件事。

So, like, if you recognize that something's bringing joy into your life or bringing you peace, stay connected to that thing.

继续做下去。

Keep doing it.

继续追求它。

Keep pursuing it.

说白了，就是培养一个爱好。

You know, get a hobby, basically.

但她强调，只要保持与它的联系，很多好事都会随之而来。

But she's like, in staying connected to that, a lot will flow from it for you.

你找到那个东西了吗？

Have you found what that is?

是的。

Yeah.

嗯，对我来说，有一段时间那肯定是表演，因为当然，在任何职业中，低谷期确实非常艰难。

Well, for me for a while, it certainly has been acting because, of course, in any career, like, the lows are really low.

当你坐在那里，觉得自己再也接不到工作了，你已经全力以赴了，然后你会想，哦，糟糕。

And when you're sitting there and you think you're never gonna work again and you're giving it your all and you're like, oh, shit.

我想我需要想清楚我的备选计划是什么。

I guess I need to figure out what my plan b is.

比如去上个树木医生学校什么的，你知道吗？而保持与它的联系，我发现总会有回报。

Let's go to a tree doctor school, you know, and staying connected to it, I found there's always a reward.

但我也觉得，在人际关系中，我发现这一点同样非常重要——比如去滋养和维系关系，与那些让我离开时感觉自己变得更好、感到被安慰、被照顾、并感激他们存在于我生命中的人保持联系。

But also, I think I found, like, in relationships, that's been really important as well, like feeding and nurturing them and staying connected to the people who, you know, I leave their presence and I feel like a better version of myself, and I just feel comforted and taken care of and grateful that they're in my life.

就像，与这类人以及人际关系中的这些时刻保持联系，给我的生活带来了很多快乐。

Like, staying connected to those types of people and those moments in relationships has brought a lot of joy into my life.

你是如何应对异地相处的挑战的？

How do you negotiate the long distance waters?

我不知道。

I don't know.

你知道，每段关系都是独特的，你得找到最适合自己的方式。

Like, you know, obviously, every relationship is unique, and you have to find out what works best for you.

我很幸运，我的伴侣简直就是专一的典范，他24岁就已是这个世界上最值得信赖、尊重、善良、体贴和富有同理心的人了，这听起来合理吧。

I'm so lucky in that my partner is, like, the king of monogamy and, like, the most trustworthy, respectful, kind, understanding, caring person in the world at, like, 24, which make that make sense.

所以，它从未像人们通常想象的那样困难。

So it's never felt difficult in the ways that I think people would typically imagine.

当人们想到长期关系时，很多人会担心出轨，但这种想法从未出现在我的脑海中，我觉得自己非常幸运。

I think when you think about long term relationships, a lot of people worry about infidelity, which is not something that's ever crossed my mind, and I feel very lucky about that.

要与一个离你如此遥远的人保持联系并不容易，我们真正关注的是找到保持联系的方法，比如确保留出时间进行视频通话，一起看一部剧并讨论剧情。

It's tricky to feel connected to a person that you're so far away from, and that's what we've really been focusing on is finding ways to stay connected, whether it be, like, making sure we're blocking out time where we can FaceTime and, like, have a show that we watch together that we can talk about.

那些在你们同处一室时感觉再正常不过的事情。

Things that feel normal, you know, when you're together in a room

这很好。

That's good.

你可以在一天结束时坐在沙发上一起看剧，或者聊聊你正在读的书，拥有这种共同的活动。

You can sit down on the couch at the end of the day and watch a show or, like, talk about a book you've been reading and, you know, have that shared activity.

所以我们努力寻找这些共同的活动。

So that's what we try to do is find those shared activities.

你去过爱尔兰吗？

Have you been to Ireland?

去过很多很多次了。

Many, many, many times.

是的。

Yeah.

我准备搬过去了。

I'm ready to move.

我刚去都柏林短暂待过，参加一次宣传活动，但我觉得爱尔兰就像灰姑娘的水晶鞋。

I've just been to Dublin briefly for a press, but I feel like it would be Cinderella's Shoe, Ireland.

不知为什么，我总觉得我特别适合那里。

For some reason, I have it stuck in my head that I would really fit in there.

你应该去一趟。

You should go.

你应该去一趟。

You should go.

作为美国人，另一个令人惊叹的是，从国家的一端到另一端旅行非常方便。

What's also amazing, especially as an American, is it's so easy to get from one side of the country to the other.

我觉得好像

Like, I feel like

你几天内就能开车横穿整个国家，而且完全不会觉得累。

you could drive the whole thing in a couple days, and it wouldn't even be a stress.

我发现这是文化差异的一个重要方面，当我跟我的伴侣或他的家人聊天时，我会说，是的。

I find that to be one of the big cultural differences as I'll be talking to my partner or his family, and I'll be like, yeah.

开车过去大概要三个小时。

It's a good three hour drive.

也没那么糟。

It's not that bad.

而他们却说：三个小时？

And they're like, three hours?

比如带点零食，确保每个人都有毯子。

Like, packing snacks and making sure everyone has blankets.

对我来说，三小时就是一趟旅程。

Like, three hours is a journey.

是的。

Yeah.

对我来说，就是上下班而已。

For me, it's, you know, going to work and back.

我觉得这真的挺搞笑的。

So I find that really funny.

但你知道，你必须得去那儿。

But, you know, completely, you have to go there.

这是一个美丽的国家，让人感觉特别清新。

It's a beautiful country and it's just such a breath of fresh air.

我第一次去那里时，正是我和我伴侣刚开始约会的时候。

The first time I was there, this is when my partner and I had first started dating.

那时候我们甚至还没正式在一起。

We weren't even really dating yet at this point.

我过去是为了庆祝我的20岁生日。

And I was over there to, like, celebrate my 20 birthday.

当然，在一个法定饮酒年龄是18岁的国家，庆祝21岁再合适不过了。

Of course, celebrate 21 in a country where you're legal at 18.

等等。

So wait.

你去了那里，但你们那时候还没真正在一起？

You went there, but you guys weren't really together yet?

我本来就已经计划好要去那里了，而几个月前我们刚一起拍了一档节目。

So I had already had plans to go there, and then we had filmed a show together a couple months prior.

我当时就想，我要去那边了。

And I was like, I'm gonna be over there.

我们见个面吧。

Let's hang out.

意外的巧合。

Happy accident.

太棒了。

Amazing.

等等。

So wait.

你们一起工作的时候，肯定有过一些调情和吸引力吧。

There must have been, like, flirtation and attraction when you guys were working together.

当然。

Of course.

当然。

Of course.

但我对和同事约会总是很谨慎。

But I'm always very hesitant about Yeah.

和同事约会。

Dating my coworkers.

是的。

Yeah.

感觉太老套了，但又真的让人惊叹。

It feels like such a cliche, but then also, like, oh my god.

如果没成功，那简直是一场噩梦。

What a nightmare if it doesn't go right.

而且那是一部电视剧，如果我们被续订第二季，还得一起工作怎么办？

And then it was a TV show, and what if we got picked up for a second season and we had to work together?

那才是我最大的恐惧。

Like, that's my biggest fear.

而且，我真的很欣赏他这个人。

Also, I just adored him so much as a person.

我希望他能长久地留在我的生活中，我总是担心，一旦进入恋爱关系，就会毁掉让这个人长期陪伴我的可能性。

I wanted him to be in my life for a long time, and I always worry about, like, getting into relationships and ruining the possibility of having that person in my life for an extended period of time.

我简直不敢相信你这么务实。

I can't believe how pragmatic you are.

太棒了。

That's amazing.

天哪。

Oh my god.

你20岁的时候是23岁？

At 20 you're 23?

23岁。

23.

是的。

Yeah.

我当时正在和我的第一任丈夫约会，谈到爱情时我总是毫不顾忌。

I was, like, dating my first husband, and I just always threw caution to the wind when it came to love.

嗯。

Mhmm.

但这难道不是很美好吗？

But isn't that kind of nice?

这不是很棒吗？

Isn't that great?

嗯，

Well

某种程度上，你觉得是不是会回来找你，我确定。

In a way, do you feel I'm like, I'm sure it comes back

但会反过来咬你一口，

to bite you in that,

但难道不觉得有点有趣又浪漫吗？我不知道。

but isn't there something like sort of fun and romantic like, I don't know.

当然，听我说。

Of course, listen to me.

我完全相反，我觉得不行，我们不能相爱，因为我爱你。

I'm the complete opposite where I'm like, no, we can't love each other because I love you.

你明白我的意思吗？

You know what I mean?

是的。

Yeah.

但你当时明智多了。

But you were much wiser.

我只是想，有个可爱的男生喜欢我。

I was just like, a cute guy likes me.

天啊。

Oh, god.

好吧。

Okay.

对。

Yep.

完全对。

Totally.

对。

Yep.

我们在祭坛上见。

See you at the altar.

哦，好吧。

Oh, okay.

这是我第一次来爱尔兰，我以为我同时在给妹妹和伴侣发短信。

First time in Ireland, I thought I was texting I was texting my sister at the same time as my partner.

我以为我在给妹妹发短信，然后我就想，天哪。

And I thought I was texting my sister, and I was like, oh my god.

我经历了有史以来最轻的经期。

I just had the lightest period of my life.

我这里一点都没有胀气。

I have no bloat here.

我当时想，这太棒了。

I was like, this is amazing.

我当时想，当我在这个国家时，我的身体感觉特别舒服。

I was like, my body just feels so right when I'm in this country.

我不知道这是怎么回事。

I don't know what it is.

然后我的伴侣回了消息，他说：听到这个真高兴。

And then my partner texted back, and he was like, so glad to hear.

我当时想：天哪。

And I was like, oh my god.

我羞得无地自容。

I was mortified.

我当时想：哇。

I was like, wow.

真遗憾，我们再也见不到面了。

What a shame we can never see each other again.

那堵墙，瞬间就垮了。

That wall, immediately knocked down.

他虽然笑着说起这事，但其实根本不是那么回事。

He was, like, laughing about it, but not even.

他说，这根本不是什么大事。

He was like, it wasn't a big deal.

我太喜欢了。

I love it.

你有看真人秀的嗜好吗？

Do you have a reality television indulgence?

是的。

Yeah.

我有。

I do.

我有几个。

I've got a few.

《真实主妇》系列总是很好看，尤其是新出的盐湖城版。

The Real Housewives are always good, especially the new Salt Lake City.

我刚开始看这个。

Just got into that.

这是一段疯狂的旅程。

It's a wild ride.

还有，当播放《爱岛》时，你熟悉吗？

Also, when it's on Love Island, are you familiar?

哦，是的。

Oh, yeah.

对。

Yeah.

好。

Yeah.

英国人。

The British people.

它是个

It's a

一档烂透了的节目。

garbage fire of a show.

是的。

Yes.

我爱每一个瞬间。

And I love every moment of it.

这令人担忧。

It's troubling.

这是一档令人担忧的节目。

It's a troubling show to watch.

我们现在正在一口气看完《单身汉》。

We're doing a bachelor binge right now.

你对《单身汉》感觉如何？你喜欢吗？

How do you feel about the do you like the bachelor?

我喜欢。

I do.

我曾经

I've had

很难投入进去。

a hard time getting into it.

我只是喜欢这个节目本身。

I like it for just the show.

是的。

Mhmm.

我对这种30位女性被节目结构所迷惑、从而倾向于崇拜这个人的机制感到着迷。

I'm fascinated structure of 30 women sort of under the spell by construct of the show to be predisposed to adoring this person

是的。

Mhmm.

而这个单身汉的设定如何在宣扬童话般的幻想与光鲜亮丽之间游走。

And how the bachelor construct walks this line of promoting sort of a fairy fantasy and, like, the glossiness.

是的。

Mhmm.

但它又对自己略带调侃。

Yet it sort of winks at itself.

在这个领域里，这确实挺令人着迷的。

It's just sort of fascinating in that realm.

不过，这也有点令人沮丧。

It's also a little bit depressing, though.

是的。

Yeah.

如果你被邀请去担任这类节目的制作人，你觉得你能胜任吗？

Do you think if you were asked to be a producer on one of these shows, do you think you could do it?

不能。

No.

因为我几乎觉得，你必须有一种偏执的执念，去思考怎么才能做出好看的电视节目。

Because I almost feel like there's this maniacal sense you have to have where it's like, how do you make good television?

我觉得我挺擅长指导获胜者的。

I think I could coach a winner pretty well.

比如，如果他们给我几个实力强劲的选手，我真的很擅长告诉他们：这是游戏规则

Like, if they gave me, like, a couple of strong contestants, I really think I would be good at being like, here's the game

计划，各位女士。

plan, ladies.

我们坐下来吧。

Let's sit down.

我们来谈谈吧。

Let's talk about it.

是的。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

你看，我就喜欢这一点。

See, I love that.

太好了。

That's great.

你会像个教练，对吧？

You would be like a coach, wouldn't you?

我喜欢这个。

I love it.

是的。

Yeah.

我深陷单身世界。

I'm deep in the bachelor world.

看，这就是我的NFL。

See, that's my NFL.

这就是我的体育。

That's my sports.

你明白我的意思吗？

You know what I mean?

是的。

Yeah.

因为这太乱了。

Because it's so messed up.

想想都觉得扭曲。

It's so twisted to think about.

但如果他们制作一档关于制片人的节目，每个制片人都有一群女性，这几乎就像是一场游戏，一部真人秀。

But if they were to make a show about producers and they each have a group of women and it is almost like that's the game, that's the reality show

对。

Yeah.

我一定会追看。

I'd eat that up.

我会加入这个幻想联盟。

I'd join that fantasy league.

我喜欢这个。

I love it.

我很喜欢这个想法。

I love it.

好的。

Alright.

Sierra，你还没花时间去了解什么？

Sierra, what haven't you taken the time to learn about?

实际上，比如财务、会计方面的知识。

Actually, like finances, accounting.

所以和你一起。

So with you.

我想学学看。

I wanna learn.

我需要加入。

I need to.

我不知道我是否……好吧，我显然不想加入。

I don't know if I well, I clearly don't want to.

不。

No.

不。

No.

不。

No.

当然不是。

Of course not.

我们早就做了。

We would have done it already.

我

I

知道。

know.

我觉得，除非我不再打电话给妈妈问税务的事情，否则我永远都不会觉得自己真的成年了。

I don't think I'm ever actually gonna feel like an adult until I stop calling my mom to like ask about tax stuff.

你明白我的意思吧？

You know what I mean?

是的。

Yeah.

当你把这一点应用到试镜时，感觉真的很突兀。

And it's jarring when you apply it to like auditioning

然后，不。

and like No.

天哪。

Oh my god.

不。

No.

一想到财务问题，我就会立刻陷入恐慌，真的就是一场恐慌发作，就像这样。

It's like the quickest way to send me into a panic attack, like an actual panic attack is when I started thinking about finances and it's like, okay.

嗯，作为演员，你永远不知道下一笔薪水来自哪里，而且你为了工作花了很多钱，比如在不同城市付房租，只为能做这份工作之类的。

Well, I need and as an actor, like, you never know where your next paycheck's coming from and, yeah, you spend all of this money to work, you know, you're paying rent in different cities so that you can do this job or what have you.

而且我一去查，就忍不住说天啊。

And it's like, the second I look into it, it's like, oh my god.

但这件事确实定义了我们这个行业中的太多东西。

It really defines though so much of our life in this industry.

你知道，我们的工作通常只有三个月，电视剧除外，但即便如此，也永远没有稳定性。

You know, we have the job for three months with the exception of television shows, but still, there's always zero permanence.

即使在今天也是如此。

Even these days.

所以就会有一种感觉：他妈的。

And so there is that feeling of like, fuck.

我得找到下一份工作。

I gotta get the next job.

我得有某种程度的安全感，嗯。

I have to have some degree of security Mhmm.

在一个根本没有保障的行业里。

In an industry where there isn't any.

没有。

None.

这让人压力很大。

And that's stressful.

是的。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

你能感受到。

You feel it.

你能感受到，是的。

You feel it Yeah.

每一天的每一刻都能感受到，尤其是因为我的家人完全不在这行。

Every second of every day, especially because my family's not in the industry at all.

我是家里第一个走这条路的人，他们都很注重实际利益。

Like, I'm the first person who's ever gone down this career path, and they're all very business minded.

我们家在老家有个家族生意，所以钱是个需要认真考虑的大事。

We've got a family business back home, And so money is, like, a big thing to think about.

我和他们聊天时，他们会说，你知道的，你得付这些账单。

And I'll be talking to them, and they're like, well, you know, you have to pay these bills.

你得去接那份工作。

Like, you need to take that job.

对。

Right.

我当时说，是的。

And I was like, yes.

我明白。

I get it.

但同时，我在这里追求的是创意上的满足感。

But also, like, I'm over here, like, the creative fulfillment.

我知道。

I know.

对。

Right.

这就像是你得有个策略。

It's like you have to have a strategy.

我要帮你付房贷。

I am pay your mortgage.

没错。

Exactly.

没错。

Exactly.

我也觉得有种压力，不想成为卖身求荣的人，但确实有种压力，让人觉得‘哦，是的’。

I also feel like there is this pressure to not be not a sellout, but like there is this pressure to like Oh, yeah.

你知道的，不去接某些类型的工作，因为它们不被认为有趣、高端，或者你不是真正的演员——我觉得这完全是胡说八道。

You know, not take a certain type of work because it's not considered interesting or like high end or, like, you're not a real actor, which I think is just complete bullshit.

但确实存在一种压力，要成为一个只接特定类型角色的‘有趣’演员。

But there is that pressure to be, like, an interesting actor that only takes a certain type of role.

我经历第一次离婚的时候，我还在犹豫要不要接《瑜伽熊》这个角色。

When I was going through my first divorce, but I was, like, I'm not sure if I should do Yogi Bear.

我的经纪人说，我觉得你还是该接《瑜伽熊》，毕竟你还有房贷要还。

My agent was like, you know, I think you need to do Yogi Bear because you do have a mortgage.

我当时就说，是的。

And I was like, yeah.

于是我就跑去新西兰拍《瑜伽熊》了。

So then I'm in New Zealand like Yogi.

你说得对，你确实是对的。

When you're right, you're right.

对。

Yeah.

这就是演员的生活。

That's life as an actor.

是的。

Yeah.

你讨厌别人身上什么样的特质？

What is a trait you dislike in others?

我不喜欢装腔作势的人。

I don't like pretentious people.

那种人真的让我特别反感，甚至我会因为和那些我觉得装腔作势的人争论而感到一种病态的愉悦。

It really rubs me the wrong way to the point where I almost get some sort of, like, sick sense of joy from arguing with people that I find pretentious.

这对我来说简直像一种运动，因为这让我感觉很好，这太扭曲了，我真想跟我的治疗师聊聊这件事。

It's almost like sport for me just because it makes me feel good, which is so messed up, and I would love to talk to my therapist about that.

就是那些人，明明没必要却总是居高临下地看待别人，因为别人没看同样的电影、吃不同的食物，或者不知道别人知道的东西。

You know, people who are just unnecessarily looking down on other people because they don't watch the same movies or they eat a different way or they don't know something that somebody else knows.

我觉得这是一种毫无必要的残忍生活方式。

I think it's just an unnecessarily cruel way to live.

我觉得二十多岁的人特别容易这样。

I feel like the twenties are ripe with that.

天啊。

Oh, god.

是的。

Yeah.

你知道的。

You know?

哦，对。

Oh, yeah.

我认为，生活中重要的一部分是找到自己的声音，表达自己的热情。

And I think it's an important part of living life is to find your voice and a way to articulate your passions.

嗯。

Mhmm.

但我确实经常唱反调。

But I definitely play devil's advocate.

唱反调。

Advocate.

比如，我不再那样做了，因为我太累了。

Like, I don't do that anymore because I feel too tired.

是的。

Yeah.

但好吧。

But okay.

哦，我特别想问你，什么让你感到害怕？

Oh, I wanted to ask you specifically, what intimidates you?

我面对真正聪明的人会感到害怕，就是那种跟你说话时，你会想‘哇’的人。

I get intimidated by, like, truly intelligent who just you know, when you speak to them, it's like, wow.

你知道的。

You know it.

你什么都知道。

You know it all.

但同时，这种知识水平也让我受到鼓舞，因为我希望自己也能对世界有同样的理解。

But, also, I feel myself encouraged by that level of knowledge as well because I wanna have that same grasp on the world.

说白了，我害怕那些上过大学的人。

I'm intimidated by people who went to college, basically, is what I'm saying.

我们采访了很多演员，我觉得他们也有这种感觉。

We talked to a lot of actors that I think feel that way.

我觉得你表达得很到位。

I think you articulated it.

没错。

Right.

这正是第一步。

Which is the first step.

没错。

Exactly.

没错。

Exactly.

但我上大学是因为我爸爸是教授。

But I went to college because my dad is a professor.

我哥哥也是教授。

My brother's a professor.

我们家有很多人都在学术界。

We have, like, a lot of family that's in academia.

我知道这在批判性思维和人生经验方面对我很有帮助。

I know that it served me well in terms of critical thinking and life experience.

大部分时间我都过得很惨，但从来没人问过我这件事。

I had a miserable time for the most part, and no one has asked me about it since.

好的。

Okay.

你相信鬼魂或外星人吗？

Do you believe in ghosts or aliens?

我很喜欢聊鬼魂和外星人。

I love talking about ghosts and aliens.

太好了。

Great.

其实我第一次见人时最喜欢问的问题就是：你有过任何灵异经历吗？

This is actually my favorite question to ask people when I first meet them is, have you had any ghost experiences?

你经历过任何灵异事件吗？

Have you had any ghost experiences?

没有。

No.

好的。

Okay.

我确实经历过很多。

I very much so have.

好的。

Okay.

我这一生也都在天主教学校上学。

I also went to Catholic school my whole life.

所以我和它之间有一种非常令人困扰的关系。

So it's a very troubling relationship I have.

但我就是对灵性方面有这种好奇心，不一定是从宗教角度，比如天主教、基督教或类似的东西。

But I have just like this curiosity for spirituality and not necessarily in a religious aspect, like, terms of Catholicism or Christianity or anything like that.

只是，生活中还有什么别的东西呢？

It's just, like, what else is there in life?

还有什么是我们可以连接并从中汲取能量的呢？

Like, what else is going on that we can connect to to drive energy from?

但让我告诉你我的鬼故事。

But let me tell you my ghost story.

我的朋友妮娜，是我从小学时就认识的老朋友。

So my friend, Nina, she was an old friend of mine from school growing up.

她住的那栋房子以前是神父住的地方。

She lived in this house that used to be a where priests live.

那是一栋神父住宅。

It was a priest house.

我后来才知道，但她的全家其实早就接受了这房子闹鬼的事实，他们都经历过一些怪事，觉得住在那儿就是这样。

So I didn't know this until later, but I guess her whole family had accepted the fact that it was haunted and they had all had experiences and that was just part of living in that home.

我答应去她那儿过夜的时候，并不知道这些。

I didn't know that when I agreed to sleep over there.