苦乐参半

嘿。

Hey.

嗨。

Hi.

你怎么样？

How are you?

是的。

Yeah.

我今天感觉有点

I am feeling a

说实话，有点不自在，因为今天得跟你好好谈一谈。

bit awkward today, if I'm being honest, because I have to sit you down and have a serious conversation with you today.

真的就是这种感觉。

That's really what it feels like.

说正经的，我这感觉就像拉朋友坐下来谈心事，谁都不想这样。

Jokes aside, it literally feels like I'm sitting down a friend to have a serious conversation, and that's never fun.

是的。

Yes.

它可能是有成效的、健康的，甚至很美好，但并不意味着容易。

It can be productive and healthy and beautiful, but that doesn't mean it's easy.

也不意味着有趣。

That doesn't mean it's fun.

说实话，从来就没什么好玩的。

Hell, it's never fun.

今天我要告诉你一个我觉得是苦乐参半的消息。

Today, I'm going to be giving you some news that I consider to be bittersweet.

如果你喜欢随心所欲，那这消息可能让你挺糟心的。

For those of you who enjoy anything goes, it might be shitty news.

但如果你本来就讨厌随心所欲，天啊。

For those of you who hate anything goes, oh my god.

这集绝对会成为你最爱的一集。

This is gonna be your favorite episode ever make.

来，把音量调大点。

In fact, turn it up.

调大音量。

Turn it up.

你一定会喜欢这个的。

You're gonna love this one.

咱们直接掀开绷带吧。

Let's just rip off the Band Aid.

明白吗？

Okay?

咱们别绕弯子了。

Let's stop beating around the bush.

我要暂停一下播客了。

I am taking a little podcast break.

明白吗？

Okay?

是的

Yep.

我要暂时歇一阵子，不录播客了。

Taking a little podcast break.

现在咱们干脆一鼓作气全掀了，刚才只是掀了一半。

Now let's rip the Band Aid all the way off because I was just ripping it halfway off.

这次咱们直接一不做二不休，全掀了。

Let's rip it all the way off now.

我不确定这休息会持续多久。

I don't know how long the break's gonna be.

真希望我能给你个明确答复。

I wish I had answers for you.

我真的给不了你答案。

I don't have answers for you.

我要 indefinitely 暂停播客，没说什么时候回来。

I'm taking an indefinite podcast break.

我知道你现在在想什么，艾玛，觉得这等于放弃。

Now I know what you're thinking, Emma, that means quitting.

意思就是你永远不干了。

That means you're done forever.

艾玛，这事儿怎么突然冒出来的？

Emma, where did this come from?

这完全出乎意料啊。

This is coming out of left field.

我觉得你背叛了我。

I feel betrayed by you.

去你的。

Fuck you.

你真是个混蛋。

You're a fucking bitch.

你太差劲了。

You suck.

你自个儿滚吧。

Go fuck yourself.

去后院揍你那破玩意儿，自己打自己吧。

Go punch your go into the backyard and beat yourself up.

你就是个贱人，真差劲。

You're a bitch, and you suck.

我要取关你、拉黑你，你这人真让人讨厌。

And I'm unsubscribing, and I'm blocking you, and you and you suck.

说实话，如果你对刚听到的这个消息这么生气，我反而觉得挺欣慰的——说明你真喜欢这个节目，才会因为我生气，这其实挺好的。

Honestly, if you feel that way about this news that I just gave you, I take that as a compliment because the fact that you enjoy this show enough to be mad at me is actually really nice.

但没错。

But yes.

行吧。

Okay.

如果你真有这些感受，我都能理解。

I understand all these feelings if you're feeling this way.

我都不知道是不是自己太把自己当回事了。

I also can't tell if I'm like, am I being too self important?

难道根本没人在乎吗？

Like, does no one even give a fuck?

你懂我意思吧？

You know what I mean?

我说啊，各位。

Am I like, okay, you guys.

咱们干脆直接把这坏消息摊牌吧。

Let's rip off the band aid with this bad news.

我要暂停做播客了，大家也都说：行啊。

I'm taking a podcast break, and everyone's like, okay.

行吧。

Okay.

没问题。

All good.

回头见。

See you later.

我才不在乎呢。

Don't care.

我不知道。

I don't know.

但有时候，当我这样跟观众聊起我自己或我的事时，我会突然想：等等。

But sometimes when I speak about myself or what I do in this way to the audience, I'm like, wait.

我是不是有点自以为是了？根本没人关心吧？

Am I completely delusional and no one really cares?

然后我就想：希望你们别生我气啊，结果大家都说，是啊。

And I'm like, oh, I hope you're not mad at me that I'm doing and then, like, everyone's like, yeah.

没人生气。

No one's mad.

根本没人在意。

No one cares.

好吧，就算真有一个人因为这个消息有点失落，我也理解。

Well, just assuming that there's one person out there that is maybe a bit bummed by this news, I get it.

这事儿确实来得有点突然。

It did kinda come out of left field.

不过其实我早就一直在琢磨这事，一直躲着没敢面对。

However, it has been something I've been ruminating on for a while now and been avoiding.

但大概一个月前，我突然顿悟了，觉得是时候该做了。

But I ultimately had sort of an moment about a month ago where I realized it was time to do this.

一旦我意识到必须这么做，我就想，行吧。

And once I knew that I needed to do it, it was like, okay.

干就完了。

I gotta do it.

我觉得我现在正在做的这一集，心情挺复杂的。

And I consider this episode, okay, that I'm making right now to be bittersweet.

但我并不觉得难过，相反，这个决定让我特别有干劲。

I don't think it's sad because I actually feel really inspired by this decision.

我不是因为心情特别低落才做这个决定的。

It's not like I'm making this decision because I'm feeling really down in the dumps.

我确实挺沮丧的。

I'm feeling really bummed out.

我真的是筋疲力尽了。

I'm feeling really burnt out.

我做这个决定，是因为我知道该成长、该转变、该重新调整了。

I'm making this decision because I know it's time to grow and evolve and restructure.

对我来说，是时候重新规划职业生涯了。

Go back to the drawing board career wise for me.

这其实挺吓人的，因为当一件事正顺风顺水的时候，你根本不会自然地想：‘算了，我先停一停，从头再来吧。’

And that's really scary because when something's doing well, when something's working, it is not necessarily intuitive to say, okay.

你懂的，这完全不符合直觉。

Now I'm gonna take a break and go back to the drawing board.

这真的不直观。

You know, it's not intuitive.

继续下去才更顺理成章。

It's intuitive to just continue.

但在我心里，我真的想说清楚，可我又说不出来。

However, in my soul and I wish I could explain it, but I can't.

有一天早上我突然醒过来，就知道自己得从头再来——不只是这个播客，而是我整个工作方式都出了问题。

In my soul, I woke up one day, and I knew that I needed to go back to the drawing board because I knew that the way I was doing this podcast, the way that I was not even beyond this podcast.

我现在的这种工作节奏，根本撑不下去了。

The the way that I was structuring my work life was not working for me.

我得先退一步，做出必要的调整，然后再重新出发。

And it's up to me to step back, make necessary changes, and then reenter.

关键是这样：

And here's the thing.

我不是要从网上彻底消失。

I'm not, like, disappearing off of the Internet.

播客嘛，它是有固定更新节奏的，但其他事儿都不是这样。

The thing is with the podcast is that the podcast is a scheduled thing, right, whereas everything else is not.

所以这就是为什么我觉得有必要来说一声：我要暂停这个播客了，但其他事情我都不停。

So that's why it feels necessary to come here and say, taking a podcast break, and I'm not doing that with anything else.

以前我从来没对任何事这么做过，因为那些事本来就没这么死板的安排。

And I've never done that with anything else in the past because it hasn't been on as rigid of a schedule.

但回到我刚才说的，我觉得这期节目挺复杂的，不是因为我在沮丧或软弱的时候做这个决定。

But going back to what I was saying, this is a bittersweet episode in my opinion because it's I'm not making this decision from a place of weakness, of sadness.

也不是因为 burnout 了才这么选。

It's not coming from a place of burnout.

我是因为兴奋、有灵感，想重新调整一下，好让我能做出更多我想做的东西。

It's coming from a place of excitement, inspiration, and the desire to restructure things in a way that will actually allow me to create more of the things I wanna create.

我一直都是那种喜欢亲力亲为的人。

Because I've always been somebody that likes to do everything myself.

我总得亲手碰每一件事，脏手也不怕。

I've always been someone that has to have her little grimy hands on every single thing that she does.

当然啦，我以后还是会这样。

And and listen, I will continue to be that way.

不过，我完全可以在不牺牲原则的前提下，对我的事业做一些结构性调整，这样反而能让我产出比现在更多、更丰富的内容，只要我退一步，重新规划，找到方法就行。

However, there are various structural shifts that I can make in my career without sacrificing integrity that would actually allow me to create more than what I'm creating now, allow me to put out more than what I'm putting out now, if I just take a step back, go back to the drawing board, and figure out how.

我知道自己必须这么做，因为有一天早上我突然就明白了，就是那种直觉。

And I know I need to do this because, again, I, like, woke up one day and just knew.

每当我有这种直觉，我都会认真对待，绝不忽视。

And whenever I have intuitive feelings like that, I really try to honor them.

其实这段时间我早就有点感觉了，只是一直假装没在意。

And I will say, I've been kinda feeling that for a little bit and kind of ignoring it.

直到有一天早上，这感觉突然变得特别强烈，我一下子就明白了。

And then I woke up one day, and it was really loud, and I just knew.

现在我们说到这儿了，这个决定已经定了。

And now we're here, and this decision has been made.

但归根结底，是因为我想做的事太多了。

But it's ultimately because there's more things that I wanna do.

要想做那些事，我必须重新调整一下，你懂我的意思吧。

And in order to do those things, I need to restructure, if that makes sense.

我不想多解释这具体意味着什么，因为我习惯默默做事，自己琢磨清楚了再回来亮相。

And I don't really wanna elaborate on what that means because I tend to prefer to work in silence, figure it out on my own, and then come back when it's finished.

你懂的吧？

You know?

抱歉说得这么含糊，但这就是我的风格。

And so I'm sorry for being vague, but that's one thing.

除了职业上要做些技术性的调整，我还特别向往一种不用被时间表束缚的生活——这种自由和特权，我从不敢视作理所当然。

Another thing is in addition to more of a technical restructuring of my career, I also am feeling really inspired by the idea of not being on a schedule, not being on a schedule at all, which is a luxury and a privilege that I do not take for granted that I'm able to do that.

我就想腾出点时间，随心所欲地创作。

But I would love to just have some time to, like, create freely.

那种真正的自由——想做什么就做什么，完全由我做主。

This idea of, like, freedom where I could make whatever I wanted.

想做一期播客，那就做一期；

If I wanted to make a podcast episode one week, I could do that.

想拍四个视频，那就拍四个——哎，等等，这句好像说错了。

If I wanted to make four YouTube videos one we don't get any ideas.

我只是说，如果我想一周拍四个YouTube视频，我随时都能做。

But I'm just saying, like, if I wanted to make four YouTube videos one week, I could do that.

要是我想发五十个Instagram短视频，我也能立马安排。

If I wanted to make 50 Instagram reels, I could do that.

要是我想花整整一个月，就专心做Chamberlain Coffee这一件事，我也行。

If I wanted to spend an entire month just working on Chamberlain Coffee, and that's it.

我真希望能有一段完全没日程安排的时间，亲身体验一下这种自由。

If I wanted to, I would like to have a period of time where I could experience that without a schedule.

我觉得这样会特别激发我的灵感，我想给自己这样的机会。

And I feel like that would be really inspiring for me, and I wanna give myself that.

所以，这是另一件事。

So that's another thing.

最后一点，我已经做播客七年了。

And last but not least, I have been podcasting for seven years now.

我记得是2019年刚开始做《Stupid Genius》，后来又开了《Anything Goes》。

I think I started in 2019 with stupid genius, and then I started anything goes.

《Stupid Genius》是我第一个播客。

Stupid genius was my first podcast.

如果你还记得《Stupid Genius》，天啊。

If you remember stupid genius, woah.

谢谢你曾经听过那个节目，我真的超感动。

I love you that you ever listened to that.

然后我想我是2020年或者2021年开始做《Anything Goes》的。

And then I think I started anything goes in 2021, maybe 2020.

我记不太清了。

I don't remember.

但算下来，已经六七年了。

But it's been, like, six, seven years now.

从开始到现在，我几乎没休过超过一个月的假。

And I have not taken more than, you know, maybe a month off since I started, really.

当然，中间《Stupid Genius》和《Anything Goes》之间可能歇过一阵。

I mean, maybe maybe between stupid genius and Anything Goes.

你听好了。

Listen.

意思你懂的。

You get the idea.

我这六七年一直挺稳定地在做。

I've been going pretty consistently for six or seven years.

我觉得从心理上讲，要是能歇一阵子，好好过自己的生活，不用老想着怎么搞下一期，那该多好。

And I think psychologically, I think it would be nice to experience a little break where I just can live my life and not think about how I'm gonna make an episode about it.

我觉得这对我真的特别有好处。

I think that would be really beneficial for me.

我的心理健康，说白了就是脑子得放松，我觉得这样对我特别好，长远来看也更健康。

My mental health, the health of my mental, I think it would be really nice for me and ultimately healthy to have that.

你知道吗，做播客一般都是一周一期，全年几乎不怎么停。

You know, the interesting thing about podcasting is that it's usually weekly with very few breaks during the year.

这差不多成了行规了。

That's sort of the common structure.

有些节目可能会歇一周左右，有些则会在假期停一个月。

Maybe a week off here or there for some shows, maybe a month off for the holidays for other shows.

但总的来说，还是挺连贯的。

But for the most part, it's pretty consistent.

但你想想电视剧或者音乐人，一季播完或者一张专辑发完，

But if you think about TV shows or musicians, a season will be put out or an album will be put out.

接下来都会有一段酝酿期，等下一季、下一张专辑再出来。

And then there's a bit of incubation before the next sort of era, the next season or the next album or whatever.

我觉得我也需要这么一段酝酿的时间。

And I feel like I need a little incubation phase.

不过，我也不觉得这会是真正的酝酿期，因为我确实有些想做的东西，纯粹为了好玩，不赶工期。

However, I don't necessarily think this is going to be an incubation phase because I do have things that I want to just, like, make for fun, not on a schedule.

所以我不是要从网上彻底消失。

And so I don't think I'm I'm not, like, disappearing off the Internet.

也不是要完全进入‘隐居’状态，躲起来不露面。

I'm not, like, going full incubation phase, like, disappearing.

说不定我反而会在我的另一个YouTube频道或者Instagram上发得更多。

There's even a chance that I might start posting more just on my other YouTube channel or on Instagram.

说实话，我真没想好。

Like, I don't even I don't even know.

说这些话自己听着都有点尴尬，哎，听我说。

It's kind of cringe to talk about this stuff out loud too, being like, listen.

这算是我的……呃，我的计划吧。

This is my this is my strategy.

其实吧，我真没什么计划。

Like, I don't I don't I don't really have a strategy.

这一期内容真是东一榔头西一棒子的。

This episode is kind of all over the place.

但说实话，我脑子里现在也是乱糟糟的。

But to be honest, my brain is kind of all over the place.

我觉得这大概就是我现在的真实状态吧。

I think that's pretty representative of where my head's at.

我真希望能给你一个更清晰的方向，但我确实没有。

And I wish I had a more clear direction to explain to you, but I don't really have that.

我想我拖了几周才做这一集，就是因为我想给自己点时间，理清思路，看看接下来该往哪儿走。

And I think that's why I put off making this episode for a few weeks because I was like, let me just take a few weeks to gather my thoughts and figure out where I'm going.

但我觉得现在还谈不上这些。

But I don't think I can even discuss it yet.

我觉得我还得再花点时间。

I think I need a little bit more time.

但我现在感觉特别好。

But I'm feeling really positive.

明白吗？

Okay?

我特别有灵感。

I'm feeling really inspired.

我脑子里其实有很多想尝试的想法。

I I do have a lot of ideas of things that I wanna try.

但这些都只是我想试试的东西，所以我并不想提前说太多，万一一试发现做出来的东西自己都不喜欢，那岂不是辜负了你们的期待？

However, because they're just things I wanna try, I don't necessarily wanna talk about them because it's like, if it doesn't work out, I don't end up liking the types of things I wanna try to make for entertainment for you all.

如果我自己都不喜欢这些尝试，结果没做成，我也不想让人觉得我许了诺却做不到。

If I don't end up liking doing those things, if they don't work out, I don't wanna feel like I made a promise I couldn't keep.

不过说到底，我最想做的还是逗你们开心。

But, ultimately, I wanna entertain you all.

我就是想跟你们多待在一起，聊聊天，放松放松。

I wanna hang out with you all.

这对我来说是头等大事。

That is my number one priority.

我觉得我完全能做得比现在更好。

And I feel like I could be doing that even better than I'm doing now.

这一点我有百分之九十九点九的把握。

I'm, like, 99.9% confident in that.

但我也清楚，要想做到这点，我得先把画布擦干净，重新画一幅全新的图——想想到底该怎么呈现才对。

But I also know that in order to do that, I have to sort of wipe the canvas clean and paint a new painting of, like, what that looks like.

因为我现在主要忙 podcast，这让我没法尝试更多不同类型的娱乐内容，来满足想看我内容的你们。

Because what I've been doing, which is mainly, you know, focusing on the podcast, is not allowing me to sort of diversify the type of entertainment that I get to make for those of you who wanna consume it.

为你们创造更多元化的娱乐内容，对我来说特别重要。

And diversifying my output for you all in creating various different types of entertainment for you all is really important to me.

所以我得重新调整一下，才能让这事真正可行。

And I need to restructure things so that I can feasibly do that.

要同时兼顾我喜欢的各个内容形式，真的太难了。

Because it's been really hard for me to balance all the different mediums that I enjoy creating content for.

难就难在我一个人包办所有事，根本忙不过来。

It's it's been really hard for me to do it all because I do everything myself.

想在每个平台都产出足够多、让人满意的内容，真的压力山大。

It's been, like, very challenging for me to create a satisfying amount of content for all the different platforms that I wanna create content for and entertainment for, if you will.

所以我现在得好好想想，怎么解决这个问题。

And so that's what I need to go figure out.

等我想明白了，再回来给你们带来真正喜欢的视频和音频内容。

And then, hopefully, I come back to you with things that you really enjoy to watch and listen to.

因为这也是个关键问题。

Because that's the thing too.

我真的很喜欢做播客。

I love podcasting.

我特别特别享受这个过程，已经连续做了这么多年，简直不敢想象要停下来歇一歇。

I really, really do enjoy it, And it's something that I've been doing very consistently for so many years that I the the thought of, like, taking a little break from it is kind of incomprehensible to me.

但我真正热爱、全心投入的还是视觉类娱乐内容。

But my ultimate love and passion is in visual entertainment.

我的心真正属于这里。

That's where my heart lies.

我以前一直保持着每周录两期的节奏，持续了三年，今年才降到每周一期。

But I also really love podcasting, so I got kind of into this sort of routine of making two episodes a week for for three years and then this year down to one episode a week.

结果这事儿太占时间了，根本没空做视频内容，而我真的很想念做视频的感觉，特别想重新捡起来。

And that was so all consuming that it left me not much time to create visual video style content, and that's something that I really miss doing that I wanna be able to get back to.

但做这些太耗时间了，因为我喜欢自己剪辑，诸如此类。

But it's very time consuming because I tend to like to edit things myself, etcetera.

我就得想想怎么才能把想干的事儿全一块儿办了。

I just need to figure out how I can do everything I wanna do all at once.

你懂我意思吧？

You know what I mean?

不想为了做这个就得放弃那个，你明白吧？

And not have to sacrifice one thing to do the other, if that makes sense.

这事儿得从头再来，重新规划。

And that requires going back to the drawing board.

我想对过去五六年来一直听《Anything Goes》的你们说声特别特别感谢，谢谢你们一直陪着我。

And I just wanna say to all of you who have listened to anything goes for the last, what, five or six years, I wanna deeply thank you for hanging out with me.

明白吗？

Okay?

我真的超爱这个播客。

Truly, I love this podcast.

超爱跟你们一起聊天的时光。

I love hanging out with you all.

《Anything Goes》不会永远消失的。

Anything goes is not going away forever.

明白吧？

Okay?

我没法给你一个具体的计划或者时间表。

I can't give you a a plan or a date.

我真说不上来，因为我自己现在也不清楚。

I can't give you anything because I don't even know yet.

但你只管知道，我就在这儿。

But just know that I'm here.

我不会走的，我这么做，就是为了能创作出更多东西。

I'm not going anywhere, and this is ultimately a decision I'm making so that I can create more.

这样你能懂吗？

Does that make sense?

说到底，这事儿特别积极，迟早会结出果实的。

It's it's like it's ultimately very positive, and it's going to result in in there will be fruit.

这个决定一定会有所收获的。

It will bear fruit, this decision.

可不是什么天塌下来了那种情况。

It's not like, oh my god.

她啊，根本就是懒得要命，才撂挑子不干的。

She's, like, quitting this, and now she's like because she fucking is a lazy sack of shit.

她现在消失不见，纯粹就是因为懒。

And she's disappearing, and she's gonna because she's lazy.

你懂的吧？

You know?

我不是在跟你打包票。

It's not I promise you.

我跟你保证，真不是那么回事。

I promise you it's not that.

我跟你保证，我这几年一直憋着一股劲儿，想着有太多东西想做，想给这些人创造点有意思的内容。

I promise you it's that I've felt frustrated for years feeling like, oh, there's so many things I wanna do, and I wanna make for entertainment for these people.

我没时间把所有这些都做完，因为我根本没把事情安排好。

And I don't have the fucking time to do all of it because I'm not structuring this properly.

这事我纠结好几年了，实在撑不下去了。

And I've been struggling with that for years, and I cannot do it anymore.

你懂的吧。

You know?

更别说我现在灵感爆棚，一堆想试的新点子，可全被那些琐碎的日常工作给拖住了，就是我给自己搞出来的那种生活节奏。

And on top of that, I'm inspired and have all these ideas of things I wanna try, I but haven't had time to try them because I've been in the minutiae of, you know, the sort of work life that I've structured for myself.

所以这事儿说到底，其实是件特别棒、特别有成效的好事。

And so this is ultimately a very positive, productive, awesome thing.

我特别兴奋，因为我真的超爱为你创作东西。

And I'm excited because I am very deeply passionate about creating things for you.

不管你是谁，其实都无所谓。

Now whoever you are, you know, it doesn't even matter.

不管你是谁，想看这些内容，这都是我最深的热爱，我就想多做点。

Whoever you are who wants to consume it, this is my ultimate passion, and I want to be able to do it more.

所以，这一切的根源就在这儿。

So that's where this is coming from.

听起来有点反直觉。

Seems a bit counterintuitive.

确实有点反直觉，但这就是真相。

Seems a bit counterintuitive, but that's where it's coming from.

这些年，真的特别感谢你们一直支持我做这个播客。

And I deeply thank you all for supporting me in in this podcast throughout the years.

我不会走的。

I'm not going anywhere.

也许短期内会歇一阵子，但长远来看，我根本不会离开。

Maybe I am for a little bit, but ultimately, in the grand scheme of things, I'm not going anywhere.

我特别珍惜我们共同创造的这一切，从不敢当它是理所当然。

And I really deeply cherish what we've created here, and I do not take it for granted.

我可不是要撂挑子跑路什么的。

And I'm not just running away or anything like that.

我居然有点情绪上头了。

I'm weirdly, like, emotional.

我心想：这啥啊？

I'm like, what the fuck?

等等。

Wait.

这怎么突然就变成这样了？

Why is this a what is happening?

我眼睛居然有点湿润了。

What like, my eye kinda got a little watery.

我还纳闷呢：这是啥情况？

I was like, oh, what's that?

肯定还有好多事我没想起来说，但说实话，我脑子现在一片空白，因为录这期之前我紧张得要死，不过现在聊开了，感觉好多了。

There's probably a trillion things that I am forgetting to say, but my brain's kinda mush, to be honest, because I think I had a lot of anxiety going into making this episode, but I'm feeling a lot better now that we've communicated.

你看，沟通的力量多大。

See, look at the power of communication.

我在这档节目里一直说，啥都行，沟通的力量。

What I've always said on this show, anything goes, the power of communication.

这力量真不小。

It's powerful.

真的特别管用。

It really is.

我得说实话。

I'm not gonna lie.

我有点紧张，因为一停录，一关掉录音键，我就想：好了，艾玛。

I'm nervous because I think the second I stop recording this episode, the second I turn off the buttons, it's like, okay, Emma.

接下来你打算干啥？

Now what the fuck are you gonna do?

你知道自己该干嘛，但现在真得去做了。

You like, you know what you have to do, but, like, now you gotta go do it.

懂吧？

You know?

差不多就是这么回事。

It's kinda that.

这真的很让人兴奋，但也有点吓人。

And that's really exciting, but also a little bit terrifying.

不过话说回来，别觉得我太黏粉丝了，我真的超爱你们，也很感激你们。

Anyway, not to be overly parasocial, but I do love and appreciate you all.

谢谢你们一直支持我。

And I'm grateful that you all show up for me.

对那些一直陪着我的人，我真心感激。

To those of you who do show up for me, I'm very grateful.

希望你们能透过屏幕感受到我的谢意。

And I hope that you can feel my gratitude through the screen.

好了，说了这么多，我很快再跟你们聊。

And with all of that being said, I'll talk to you very soon.

再听一遍，你可能会想：Emma根本就没消失啊。

And listen again, you're you're gonna be like, Emma didn't even disappear.

她就在Instagram上发了点东西，然后突然又在YouTube上发了个视频，接着又莫名其妙地提了点别的，反正我也说不清。

She, like, posted on Instagram, and then she, like, randomly posted a YouTube video, like or and then she, like, randomly posted about like, I don't know.

我真搞不懂现在这是什么情况。

I don't know what's happening.

这事儿我完全摸不着头脑。

I don't know what's happening.

所以你别急，我估计比你想象的更快就能再跟你聊上。

So you just have to just I'll probably talk to you sooner than you think.

好。

Okay.

我爱你们所有人。

I love you all.

我爱你们，我一定会让你们为我骄傲的。

I love you, and I'm gonna make you proud.

明白吗？

Okay?

我向你保证，我会的。

I promise you I will.