知道何时该放弃

你总是听到人们说，不要放弃。

You always hear people say, don't quit.

不要放弃。

Don't give up.

你能行的。

You got this.

坚持下去。

Persevere.

你失败的唯一方式就是放弃，所以不要放弃。

The only way you fail is if you quit, so don't quit.

你从来不会听到人们说，你知道的，放弃也没关系。

And you never hear people saying, you know, it's okay to quit.

有时候，放弃是实现你人生最终目标的必要步骤。

Sometimes quitting is a necessary step in accomplishing your ultimate goals in life.

有时候，放弃是你能做的最勇敢的事。

Sometimes quitting is the bravest thing you can do.

你从没听过人们这么说，因为这听起来不够酷。

You never hear people saying that because it's not as sexy.

‘不要放弃’这句话简单又吸引人。

There's something easy and sexy about don't quit.

我们一辈子都在听这样的话，或者我该说，至少我这一辈子都在听。

And we've been hearing it our whole lives, or maybe I should just speak for myself, but I've been hearing that my whole life.

印在耐克的T恤上，出现在儿童故事书里。

On Nike T shirts, in little story books for kids.

不要放弃。

Don't quit.

我总觉得，从小到大，放弃是一件负面的、糟糕的事情。

I feel like I grew up thinking that quitting was a negative thing, was a bad thing.

这种观念一直深深影响着我。

And that definitely stuck with me.

尽管现在我已经是成年人了，有能力重新审视那些童年时吸收的观念。

Even though now I'm an adult who has the ability to sort of shade in these ideas that I absorbed as a child.

当你在童年时期吸收某种观念时，会发生一种奇怪的现象。

There's a weird thing that happens when you absorb something as a child.

即使你长大后有能力以更细致的视角去审视事物，这些在孩童时期就深深烙印在大脑中的信念，仍会潜意识地留存下来，即使你明明知道事实并非如此。

Even when you get older and you have the ability to color things in and sort of look at things with a more nuanced perspective, these beliefs that were sort of cemented into the brain as a kid sort of remain there subconsciously, even if you know better.

我对放弃的感受就是这样。

And that's how I feel about quitting.

我知道，'不要放弃'这条建议并非在所有情况下都完全适用。

I know that the advice don't quit does not just apply to everything 100% of the time.

我知道，有时候放弃一项努力也可能有其价值。

I know that there can be value in quitting an endeavor.

我知道这一点。

I know that.

但因为我小时候，放弃总带有负面含义，因为很多时候放弃确实不是正确的选择。

But because when I was a kid, there was sort of a negative connotation around quitting, because a lot of the times quitting isn't the answer.

对吧？

Right?

坚持下去、克服困难才是答案。

Persevering, pushing through is the answer.

因为小时候，我不断被告诉不要放弃，只有当你放弃时，真正的失败才会发生。

Because as a kid, I was constantly being told not to quit and that failure only really comes when you quit.

我总是对放弃感到有些内疚。

I just always felt sort of guilty about quitting.

即使在我的理性认知中，我知道放弃有时可能是你所能做的最勇敢的事。

Even when in my rational mind I know that quitting can be the bravest thing that you can do.

所以今天这期节目，我想来剖析一下何时该放弃这个复杂的难题。

So in today's episode, I thought we could dissect the complicated dilemma of when to quit.

什么时候放弃是正确的选择，什么时候坚持才是正确的选择？

When is quitting the move, and when is it the move to persevere?

但我认为这期节目会更侧重于探讨何时该放弃，以及如何接受放弃是我们人生旅程中必要的一部分，因为我觉得这才是更难做到的事。

But I think this episode is gonna be more focused on trying to figure out when to quit and how to accept quitting as a necessary part of our journeys, because I feel like that's the more challenging feat.

我先短暂打断一下本期节目，告诉你这期《Anything Goes》由hotels.com赞助播出。

I briefly interrupt this episode to let you know that this episode of Anything Goes is presented by hotels.com.

Save Your Way 是 hotels.com 的一项新功能，顾名思义，非常简单。

Save your way is a new feature on hotels.com, and it's as simple as it sounds.

作为 hotels.com 的会员，您在预订旅行时可以自行决定如何使用您的节省金额。

When you book a trip as a hotels.com member, you decide how to use your savings.

您可以选择立即享受优惠，或将节省的金额作为奖励存起来留待日后使用。

Take the instant savings now or bank the savings as rewards for later.

由您做主，仅在 hotels.com 实现。

It's your call, only at hotels.com.

Save Your Way 功能适用于美国和英国的会员，仅限参与会员价的酒店。

Save Your Way is available to loyalty members in The US and UK on hotels with member prices.

其他条款适用。

Other terms apply.

详情请见官网。

Seesight for details.

现在回到本期节目。

Now back to the episode.

我的意思是，你听一下。

I mean, listen.

有时候放弃听起来更容易。

Sometimes quitting sounds easier.

很多时候放弃确实听起来更容易。

Oftentimes quitting does sound easier.

但我认为我们很多人都对此感到内疚。

But I think a lot of us feel guilt about it.

对吧？

Right?

而我们当中没有人会因为坚持而感到内疚。

Whereas none of us are feeling guilty about persevering.

也许我对这一点有独特的看法。

And maybe I have a unique perspective on this.

也许人们对放弃的感受并不都是这样。

Maybe this isn't the universal feeling around quitting.

也许这对我来说有点特别。

Maybe this is sort of unique to me.

我的意思是，没什么是独特的，但也没什么能只属于我。

I mean, nothing's unique, but nothing can be unique to me.

我怎么可能是一个人经历这种感受呢？

Like, there's no way I'm the only one experiencing this.

那不可能。

That that's not possible.

但我想象中，应该有一些人面临相反的问题。

But I imagine there are some people out there that have the opposite problem.

也许他们觉得，如果事情不顺利，那就是该放弃并转身离开的信号。

Perhaps they feel like if things aren't working, then that is a sign to quit and move on.

也许他们真正需要做的是在那些时刻努力坚持，把这当作成长的机会——我的意思是，也许有些人明明该坚持时却难以坚持，因而错失了成长的机会。

And maybe they actually need to sort of work on persevering in those moments and potentially taking it as a growth opportunity or utilizing it as a growth maybe what I'm saying is maybe some people struggle to persevere when they actually should persevere, and they miss out on growth opportunities.

而对我来说，我觉得我倾向于因为愧疚而长时间留在一个情境中，即使放弃可能是人生旅程中非常重要的一步，甚至能带来成功与满足。

Whereas for me, I think I have the tendency to stay in a situation for too long out of guilt of quitting, even when quitting can be a really important step in this journey of life and can actually lead to success and fulfillment.

这可能是其中一步。

It can be a step in that.

我对此现实感到挣扎，但我确实想象有些人正经历着相反的困境——那就是太轻易地放弃。

And I struggle with that reality, but I do imagine that some sort of struggle with the opposite reality, which is quitting too easily.

也许这就是人们决定是否放弃某事时的默认方式。

And perhaps that's the default sort of approach to deciding whether or not to quit something.

也许这就是为什么我们从小听到的建议是：无论如何都不要放弃。

And perhaps that that's why the advice that we grow up with is don't quit no matter what.

不要放弃。

Don't quit.

继续前进。

Keep going.

因为也许作为人类，我们天生容易放弃，这很合理。

Because maybe we're prone to quitting as humans, which makes sense.

但我认为我有把事情做得过头的倾向。

But I guess I have a tendency to take things too far.

我不知道。

I don't know.

我觉得我是个完美主义者，所以也许这背后有一点那种心态。

I think I'm a perfectionist, so maybe it's a little bit of that going on.

但无论你在光谱的哪个位置，无论你是容易放弃的人，还是需要重新看待放弃、意识到放弃不一定是失败的人，我认为可以肯定地说，是否要放弃某件事是一个艰难的决定。

But regardless of where you fall on the spectrum, regardless of if you're somebody who tends to quit too easily or you're somebody who could work on a perspective shift about quitting, seeing that it's not necessarily always a failure, I think it's safe to say that the decision of whether or not to quit something is a challenging one.

我不认为你在光谱上的位置有多重要。

I don't think it matters where you are on that spectrum.

我认为这始终是一个艰难的决定，尤其是在生活中某些特定类型的困境和情境中。

I think it is always a challenging decision, especially in a certain category of dilemmas and situations in life.

事实上，我觉得如果我能定义一下那些特别难以抉择的情况，会很有帮助。

In fact, I think it'd be useful if I defined the types of situations that are so challenging to figure out.

明白吗？

Okay?

因为有些事情你绝对不应该放弃，有些事情你绝对应该放弃，这些都很明显。

Because there are certain things that you definitely shouldn't quit, and there are certain things that you definitely should quit, and it's obvious.

明白吗？

Okay?

你绝对应该放弃任何有毒、糟糕、不健康、损害你福祉的事物。

You definitely should quit anything that's toxic, bad, unhealthy, detrimental to your well-being.

这很明显。

That's obvious.

对吧？

Right?

任何不良习惯、任何有毒的环境或情况，显然你都应该放弃。

Any sort of bad habits, any sort of toxic environments or situations, obviously you should quit that.

这很明显。

That's obvious.

而且我并不是说，总是如此，我也不是想冒犯那些正努力放弃某些可能对你有害的事物的人，因为这并不容易。

And not always and I'm not saying I'm not saying that to insult people who are struggling to quit something that is perhaps toxic or bad for you because it's not easy.

明白吗？

Okay?

我的意思是，这可能很简单。

I mean, it can be easy.

但也可能非常具有挑战性。

It also can be really challenging.

所以我不是在说，哦，这很明显。

So I'm not saying, oh, that's obvious.

你知道的。

You know?

如果你看不出这很明显，那去你的。

And if you don't see that that's obvious, fuck you.

我不是这个意思。

That's not what I'm saying.

我的意思是，得出你需要戒掉这些东西的结论更容易。

I'm saying coming to the conclusion that you need to quit those types of things is easier.

但在很多情况下，戒除的过程仍然会很有挑战性。

The process of quitting is still gonna be challenging in a lot of these types of scenarios.

但我认为，对本人来说，答案通常都很明显。

But I think the answer is usually pretty obvious to the person.

这可能让人害怕。

It might be scary.

这可能让人不舒服。

It might be uncomfortable.

这可能很有挑战性，但我认为它更明显。

It might be challenging, but I think it's more obvious.

同样的道理也适用于人生中的总体目标。

And same thing goes for, like, an overarching goal in life.

对吧？

Right?

比如，如果你的人生目标是希望在事业上获得满足，或者目标是找到真爱，你知道的，诸如此类。

Like, if your goal in life is I wanna be fulfilled in my career, if the goal in life is I wanna find love, you know, whatever.

如果你有这样宏大的目标，就永远不要放弃这些目标。

If you have a big goal like that, you should never give up on those goals.

你知道的吧？

You know?

那些抽象的、可能以任何方式实现的宏大人生目标。

Those sort of overarching life goals that are abstract and could come to fruition in any way.

我们绝不能放弃这些目标。

Those goals we should never give up on.

对吧？

Right?

在追求这些目标的过程中，我们绝不能放弃。

Those we should never quit in the pursuit of those goals.

对吧？

Right?

我今天要谈的是一些更复杂、更具体、更孤立的情境或困境，其中的答案是抽象的。

The types of situations I'm talking about today are much more complex, more specific, more isolated situations or dilemmas where the answer's abstract.

没有对错之分。

There's no right or wrong answer.

这些情况或困境是正负因素的混合，使得判断是否该放弃变得更加困难。

These situations or dilemmas are a jumbled mix of positive and negative that make coming to a conclusion of whether or not to quit more challenging.

比如，这些情况既不是特别积极，也不是特别消极，或者它们有点积极、有点消极，但并不明显。

Like, these situations are neither super positive or super negative, or maybe they are kinda positive or kinda negative, but it's not obvious.

你明白我的意思吗？

Do you know what I'm saying?

也就是说，答案并不明显。

Like, the answer is not obvious.

让我举几个例子。

Let me give you some examples.

我想这会有助于描绘出整体图景。

I think that'll help paint the picture.

一个很好的例子就是是否该辞掉工作。

A great example would be whether or not to quit your job.

当你对工作感觉还行，有点喜欢它的时候。

When your job is okay, you kinda like it.

而且，你知道，从经济上讲，这份工作很安稳，但你可能有更大的梦想。

And, you know, maybe financially, it's comfortable, but maybe you have bigger dreams.

你会想，啊，这终究不是我想一辈子从事的职业。

You're like, ah, this is not ultimately the career I wanna be in for the rest of my life.

对吧？

Right?

但同时，这份工作也很安稳。

But, also, it's comfortable.

而且，也许，这份工作未来可能会发展成一份事业。

And maybe, like, maybe this could turn into a career.

比如，我可能能步步高升，这最终会成为一份让我非常有成就感的职业。

Like, maybe I could climb the ladder, and this could become a a a really fulfilling career for me.

但也可能不会。

But, also, it might not.

这是个很好的例子。

That's a great example.

另一个例子，关闭一家企业。

Another example, shutting down a business.

如果你是个创业者，迟早会面临一个困境：是否该继续经营下去，除非你有一个奇迹般完美无缺的商业计划。

If you're an entrepreneur, the dilemma will arise at some point of whether or not to continue the business unless you have some sort of miraculously genius business plan that is foolproof.

从第一天起就从未走错一步，这种情况或许有人遇到过，但极少。

And from day one, you never take a wrong step, which probably happens to some people, but not not many.

创业之路充满挑战。

Entrepreneurial ventures are ripe with challenges.

你知道的。

You know?

一方面，许多非常成功的创业者在取得成功之前，失败了多达二十次。

On one hand, a lot of really successful entrepreneurs failed, like, 20 times before they had their successful business.

你知道的。

You know?

你一遍又一遍地听到这样的故事：一些创业者创办了各种各样的企业，但最终都失败了。

You hear stories time and time again about entrepreneurs who's who started all these different businesses and then failed.

但他们又站起来了，开始了新的事业。

And then but then they got back up, they started a new one.

你知道吗？

You know?

当你听到这样的故事时，往往会想，我得知道什么时候该放弃一个项目，然后开始新的。

And a lot of times when you hear that story, it's like, well, I had to know when to give up on one venture and start a new one.

对吧？

Right?

但你也会听到一些创业者的故事，他们创办的企业一度跌入谷底，甚至破产，但他们重新振作，继续坚持，因为创始人相信这个事业。

But then you also hear stories about entrepreneurs who started a business, and it hit rock bottom, and they hit bankruptcy, and then they got back up, and then they kept pushing because the the founder believed in the business.

你明白我的意思吗？

You know what I mean?

这真是个难题。

It's a tricky one.

在企业面临挑战的时刻，你是该坚持下去吗？

In a moment of challenge in a business, do you persevere?

你是让它跌到谷底再爬起来吗？

Do you let it hit rock bottom and pick it back up?

还是干脆放手，去开始别的事情？

Or do you let it go and start something else?

这是另一个例子。

That's another example.

另一个例子就是搬回你的家乡。

Another example would be moving back to your hometown.

也许你曾经搬到大城市，那段时间那是你的梦想。

Maybe you moved to a big city, and that was sort of your dream for a period of time.

但也许搬到大城市并没有你想象的那么好。

But perhaps moving to the big city isn't what you thought it would be.

也许你感到更孤独了。

Maybe it's more lonely.

也许出现的机会并没有你预期的那么有成就感。

Maybe the opportunities that have arose aren't actually as fulfilling as you expected them to be.

也许你感到思乡了。

Maybe you're feeling homesick.

但这可能是一个巨大的成长机会，挺过这种不适，在这个陌生的地方找到安宁，在这个不如预期般容易获得满足的地方找到成就感，这可能会是一次非凡的成长契机。

Well, this could be a huge opportunity for growth, pushing through that discomfort and finding comfort in this unfamiliar place, finding fulfillment in this place where fulfillment isn't coming as easily as maybe you thought could be an incredible growth opportunity.

也可能是你对这种情况抱有期望，但现实并未达到那些期望。

It could also be that you had expectations about this situation and they didn't end up living up.

而现实 simply 就不是你想要的。

And the reality just simply isn't what you want.

你可以选择放弃，搬回家，或者选择坚持下去。

You could quit and move home, or you could persevere.

这是这种困境的另一个例子。

Another example of this kind of dilemma.

最后一个例子：一段平庸的恋爱关系，特别是浪漫关系，因为我觉得友谊是不同的。

Last example, a mediocre relationship, romantic relationship specifically, because I feel like friendship friendship's different.

对吧？

Right?

因为你有很多不同的朋友，和朋友之间的亲密程度也可以各不相同。

Because you can have a bunch of different friends, and you can have a bunch of different levels of closeness with your friends.

而如果你是专一的人，一次只能认真地和一个人约会。

Whereas if you're somebody who practices monogamy, you can only date one person at a time in a serious way.

因此，这段关系承受着更大的压力，你更需要满足某些条件。

And so there's more pressure on that one relationship, and it's more important that you check certain boxes.

对吧？

Right?

但在友谊中，你可以有一个搞笑的朋友，一个超级支持你的朋友，一个爱派对的朋友，还有一个来自童年的内向怀旧的朋友。

Whereas in friendship, you can have a funny friend, and then you can have, like, a super supportive friend, and then you can have a party friend, and then you can have a shy, nostalgic friend from your childhood.

你可以拥有各种不同类型的朋友，各自在不同方面满足你的需求。

Like, you can have all these different types of friends that check different boxes in different ways.

而在恋爱关系中，你更需要满足某些特定条件。

Whereas with a romantic relationship, it's more important that you you check certain boxes.

对吧？

Right?

因为你除非是多角恋，否则无法通过其他人来满足这些需求。

Because you can't check those boxes with other people unless you're polyamorous, in which you can.

但我们中有相当一部分人并不是这样。

But a decent portion of us are not.

所以我认为这在浪漫关系中尤其适用，特别是那些平庸的关系。

So I think this really applies with romantic relationships, particularly mediocre ones.

比如说，你正处于一段关系中，感觉还不错。

One where it's like, let's say you're in a relationship, and it's good.

你知道的。

You know?

还行吧。

It's okay.

有不错的陪伴感。

There's a decent sort of companionship.

有不错的潜力，但可能算不上出色。

There's a good amount of potential, but it's maybe not amazing.

对吧？

Right?

你爱他们，但可能并不确定自己是不是真的爱着他们。

You love them, but maybe you're not really sure if you're in love with them.

但与此同时，这感觉还不错。

But at the same time, like, it's good.

这并不糟糕。

It's not bad.

这并不有毒。

It's not toxic.

这不一定不健康，但可能也没有那种激情。

It's not necessarily unhealthy, but maybe it's not electric.

有时候，关系中就会出现这种情况。

Well, that happens in relationships sometimes.

你知道的。

You know?

事实上，浪漫关系的现实是，它并不总是会处于那种激烈、痴迷的状态。

Like, the reality of romantic relationships is that it's not always gonna be this, like, explosive, obsessive sort of situation.

事实上，有时候那反而不是好事，因为那在某种程度上是一种近乎幻觉的迹象，这是我的看法。

In fact, sometimes that's actually not a good thing because that's, like, a sign of almost a state of sort of delusion in a way I would that's my opinion.

那种动态实际上可能有点不健康，但我们却喜欢这种动态，因为它太刺激、太有趣了。

That can be sort of an unhealthy dynamic, actually, but we love that dynamic because it's so exciting and so fun.

所以也许这段关系只是处于低潮期，而它实际上是一段非常美好的关系。

So perhaps the relationship is just in a lull, and it's actually a really beautiful relationship.

只是此刻它没有那么令人兴奋而已。

It's just not super exciting in this moment.

值得留下来，让这段关系继续成长，因为你知道，它确实很有潜力，只是正处于一个正常的低谷期。

And it's worth staying and and blooming in the relationship because, you know, it actually does have a lot of potential, and it's just having a normal low point.

或者也许这段关系根本就不合适。

Or maybe it's just not right.

也许这个人根本就不是对的人。

Maybe it's just not your person.

不过，实际上我得小心使用这种说法，因为我不确定这种表达是否真的存在。

Although, actually, I should be careful with that type of verbiage verbiage because I don't know if that exists.

你的那个人。

Your person.

这种说法存在吗？

Does that exist?

有待商榷。

Up for debate.

有待商榷。

Up for debate.

我认为有很多聪明人会说不，他们比我聪明多了。

And I think there's a lot of smart people out there that would say no, who are much smarter than me.

所以我或许应该相信他们。

So I should probably, trust them.

但这是一个难题。

But that's a dilemma.

你知道吧？

You know?

你做什么？

What do you do?

你会坚持下去吗？

Do you stay in it?

你会离开吗？

Do you leave?

你做什么？

What do you do?

我认为对我来说，我的底线，正如我之前说的，是坚持下去，继续努力，不放弃，因为我害怕失败。

I think for me, my baseline, right, as I said earlier, is to stay in it, to keep pushing, not to quit, because I don't wanna fail.

没人想失败。

No one wants to fail.

你知道吧？

You know?

那就是没人想失败。

That's that's no one wants to fail.

而且我也不想错过成长的机会。

And I also don't wanna miss out on a growth opportunity.

对吧？

Right?

所以很多时候我的默认选择是，好吧。

So oftentimes my default is like, okay.

我会继续坚持下去。

I'm gonna I'm gonna stay in it.

我会继续努力。

I'm gonna keep pushing.

我认为这可能是正确的做法，但也可能是错误的做法。

And I think that that can be the right approach, and I think it can also be the wrong approach.

但真的很难判断哪种才是对的。

But it's really, really hard to tell which.

让我们讨论一下放弃的利与弊。

Let's discuss the pros and cons of quitting.

就像放弃能带来什么好处，坚持又能带来什么好处。

Just like what good can come from quitting and what good can come from persevering.

我们先从哪个开始？

Which should we start with?

我们先来谈谈坚持而不是放弃的价值。

Let's actually start with the value of persevering, not quitting.

我先短暂打断一下本期节目，告诉大家本期由Squarespace赞助。

I briefly interrupt this episode to let you know that this episode is brought to you by Squarespace.

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当你准备上线时，使用优惠码 EMMA 可在首次购买网站或域名时享受 10% 折扣。

And when you're ready to launch, use offer code EMMA to save 10% on your first purchase of a website or domain.

现在回到节目。

Now back to the episode.

坚持下去的价值是什么？

What's the value in sticking with it?

第一，成长。

Number one, growth.

因为我认为这个困境中最棘手的部分是，我们在克服挑战的过程中才能成长。

Because I think the trickiest part of this dilemma is that we grow when we persevere through challenging situations.

比如，当你追求一个目标、从事某一职业、创业、搬到大城市，或离开家乡去追求某些东西，或者处于一段恋爱关系中时。

You know, when pursuing a goal, working in a particular career, starting a business, moving to a big city, or moving out of your hometown to pursue something, being in a romantic relationship.

我们做这些事，通常是因为它们是我们设定的目标。

We do these things because they're usually, like, goals that we have.

对吧？

Right?

比如，我们想要拥有某种类型的职业。

Like, we want to have a certain type of career.

我们想要陷入爱河。

We wanna be in love.

这些都是我们设定的目标。

Those are goals that we have.

而追求这些目标必然会带来挑战，这是不可避免的。

And the pursuit of those goals inevitably will bring challenges, inevitably.

克服这些挑战正是我们成长的方式。

And persevering through those challenges is how we grow.

如果我们每次遇到挑战就退缩、放弃，我们就无法成长。

If we buckle and we quit every time there's a challenge, we don't grow.

坚持下去可能蕴含巨大的价值，因为唯有通过成长才能度过难关。

There can be so much value in persevering because the only way to get through the challenge is to grow.

唯一的出路就是直面它。

The only way out is through.

我认为，正是目标带来的驱动力促使我们在这种情况下克服挑战。

And I think the drive from the goal is what pushes us to overcome the challenge in this situation.

然后我们就能以更好的状态走出来。

And then we come out the other side a better person.

你知道吗？

You know?

拥有目标并为之努力的美妙之处在于，我们不仅在追求可能为人生带来极大满足感的目标，而且这段旅程中也充满了美好的成长机会。

That's sort of the beautiful thing about having goals and working towards them is that not only are we working towards a goal that could be potentially very fulfilling in our lives, but also the journey is sprinkled with beautiful growth opportunities.

我认为，任何值得追求的事情都会对我们构成挑战，并迫使我们成长。

And I think anything worthwhile is going to challenge us and force us to grow as people.

好的。

Okay.

继续。

Moving on.

如果你能彻底坚持到底，通常会少一些遗憾。

There's often less regret if you fully see things through.

当你不放弃时，你就不会留下挥之不去的念头。

When you don't quit, you're never left with a haunting thought.

如果当初坚持下去会怎样？

What could have been?

你知道吗？

You know?

比如，如果我再坚持久一点会怎样？

Like, what if I had stuck with it a little longer?

可能会发生什么？

What could have happened?

你知道吗？

You know?

你几乎从不后悔坚持到底。

You almost never regret persevering.

不过，这其实也不一定对。

That's not actually necessarily true, though.

这并不一定正确。

That's not necessarily true.

你当然可能会后悔坚持，但我们现在不谈这个，因为我们正在讨论坚持的价值。

You definitely can regret persevering, but we're not gonna talk about that yet because we're talking about the value of persevering right now.

所以我们先把这个留到以后再说。

So we'll we'll save that for later.

你可能会后悔坚持，但我会说，至少根据我的经验，我更不太可能后悔坚持，因为那个‘如果’真的会让人久久难以释怀。

You can regret persevering, but I will say, at least in my experience, I'm less likely to regret persevering because that what if can really haunt a person.

最后，我想说，坚持能帮助我们养成在失败后重新站起来，或是在面对挑战时不轻易放弃的习惯。

And lastly, I would say persevering helps us get into a practice of getting up after we fail and or pushing through a challenge instead of automatically quitting.

熟能生巧。

Practice makes perfect.

对吧？

Right?

当你在困难时越坚持，这种行为就越会成为你生活中的习惯，你也就会越擅长它。

And the more you persevere when things get tough, the more that will become a practice in your life and the better you'll get at it.

你明白我的意思吗？

You know what I mean?

我认为这是一种非常棒的生活方式。

And I think that that's a really great way to live.

比如，当事情变得艰难时，我不会放弃。

Like, I I don't give up when shit gets gets tough.

我会坚持下去，把事情做完。

I push through, and I see it through.

熟能生巧。

Practice makes perfect.

所以我认为，你做得越多，就越擅长，当事情出错时，也就越不容易气馁。

And so I think the more you do it, the better you get at it, the less discouraged you get when things go wrong.

你知道的？

You know?

我认为这是一件非常美好的事。

And I think that's a really beautiful thing.

但让我们来谈谈放弃的价值。

But let's get into the value of quitting.

有时候，我们必须为生活中的下一个计划腾出空间。

Sometimes we have to make space for the next venture in our lives.

你知道，有句话说关上一扇门，就会打开另一扇门。

You know, the saying close one door to open another.

我不确定是不是这么说的。

I don't know if that's the saying.

那句话到底怎么说？

What is the saying?

就像你必须关上一扇门，才能打开另一扇新门。

It's like you gotta close one door to open another, to open a new one.

随便吧。

Whatever.

你明白我的意思。

You get the idea.

你以前听过这句话。

You've heard that before.

你奶奶、妈妈、叔叔，或者朋友可能都跟你说过。

Your grandma's probably said it to you, your mom, your uncle, okay, your friend.

你听过了。

You've heard it.

这非常正确。

And it's very true.

我觉得在感情关系中尤其如此，你真的必须关上一扇门，才能打开另一扇。

I think particularly in relationships, you know, you really gotta close the door to open another one.

很多时候，如果你还放不下，或者还陷在一段关系里，你就没法打开新的门。

A lot of times, if you're still hung up on well, if you're still hung up on a relationship or you're still in a relationship, you can't be opening another door.

对吧？

Right?

但我觉得这在事业上也同样适用。

But I think this also applies too in career as well.

如果你把所有精力都投入到某一条职业道路上，就很难甚至不可能看到外面有什么，去探索其他选择，除非你放下它。

If you're putting all of your energy into one sort of path career wise, it's very challenging and sometimes impossible to see what's out there, explore other options, unless you let that go.

你明白我的意思吗？

You know what I mean?

我们的时间和精力都是有限的，有责任明智地使用它们。

We only have so much time and energy, and it's our responsibility to use it wisely.

如果某件事真的不奏效，说‘你知道吗？’也没关系。

And if something is really not working, it's okay to say, You know what?

我认为现在最明智的做法就是放下这件事，辞职，去追求别的东西。

I think the wisest move right now is to let this thing go, quit, and pursue something else.

你知道吗？

And you know what?

最坏的情况是，如果我去追求别的东西，结果发现我错了，放掉了好的机会，也总有机会再回到那件事上。

Worst case scenario, if I go and pursue something else and I was wrong and I let a good thing go, there's always an opportunity to return back to that thing.

我的意思是，这可能行不通。

I mean, it might not work.

你可能无法再回到原来的工作。

You might not be able to get your old job back.

你可能无法回到前任身边，但至少可以试试。

You might not be able to go back to your ex, but you could at least try.

我们有责任说：好吧。

It's our responsibility to say, okay.

这种情况并不算太糟，但我认为它阻碍了我发挥出最大、最充分的潜力。

The situation isn't terribly bad, but I think it's preventing me from reaching my highest, fullest potential.

我知道身处这种状况让我无法去探索其他可能性，而我需要去探索。

And I know that being in this situation is preventing me from exploring that, and I need to explore that.

接下来，就像坚持一样，懂得何时该放手也同样非常有价值。

Next, in the same way that practicing perseverance can be incredibly valuable, I also think the practice of knowing when to quit something is also really valuable.

你看，这就是为什么它这么棘手。

See, that's why it's tricky.

我觉得这两种能力都非常重要。

It's like I think both skills are really important.

所以我认为，审视一种情况并说：‘你知道吗？’是有价值的。

And so I think there's value in looking at a situation and saying, you know what?

我觉得外面还有更多适合我的东西。

I I think that there's more for me out there.

我要放弃这个，去尝试别的东西。

I'm going to quit this and try something else.

这样做也有很大的价值。

There's also a lot of value in that.

我认为从中获得的美好领悟是，学会对这种失败的感觉感到自在。

And I think the the beautiful learning from that is becoming comfortable with this sort of feeling of failure.

因为我觉得多年来，我们都被教导说，放弃是最彻底的失败。

Like because I think we've all been taught over the years that quitting is the ultimate form of failure.

在某些方面，放弃确实是一种失败，但这是一种小规模的失败。

And quitting in some ways is it's failure, but it's failure on a small scale.

对吧？

Right?

如果你放弃某件事，并不意味着你这一生就是个失败者。

If you quit something, that doesn't mean you're a failure in your life.

它只是说明有一件小事失败了，这没关系。

It just means one little thing failed, and that's okay.

这可能是你通往最终成功之路中的关键一步。

That might be a crucial step in your journey to ultimate success.

正如我前面所说，有很多创业者的经历是，他们创办了十家企业，全都失败了，直到创办第十一家企业才成功。

As I said earlier, there are so many stories of entrepreneurs who started 10 businesses and failed at all of them before they started their eleventh, and that was the one that succeeded.

你知道吗？

You know?

我认为，学会接受失败是一件具有挑战性但非常有价值的事，因为很多时候，为了最终成功，你必须彻底放手，完全放弃。

And I think getting comfortable with failure is a challenging but really valuable thing to do because I think a lot of times, in order to ultimately succeed, sometimes you have to let things go completely and completely quit.

学会接受放弃的另一个价值在于，放弃本身可能非常令人沮丧。

Another value in getting comfortable with quitting is quitting can be really discouraging.

对吧？

Right?

当你彻底放弃某件事时，你会觉得：我再也不干了，重新开始一件事需要很大的勇气。

And when you quit something completely, you're like, I'm done with this, it takes a lot of strength to start something new again.

对吧？

Right?

但我认为，这种经历不仅能带来显著的成效，最终成为实现你终极目标的一步，同时也教会你韧性。

But I think that experience can be not only really productive and ultimately be a step in reaching your ultimate goals, but I also think too, it teaches you resilience.

这也是一种成长的机会。

It's a growth opportunity as well.

做出放弃的决定本身也是一种成长。

There's growth in deciding to quit as well.

就像坚持带来成长一样，放弃也同样带来成长。

In the same way that there's growth in perseverance, there's also growth in quitting.

这是一种不同类型的成长，但这两种选择都能促进成长。

It's just a different type of growth, but both opportunities can invite growth.

最后但同样重要的是，我认为放弃的价值在于时间。

And last but not least, I think the value of quitting can be the time.