自我探索

今天早上醒来时，我有一种渴望，不是对某道意面、也不是对某款糕点，都不是。今天，我醒来渴望的是自我探索，想更了解自己，而我完全知道这意味着什么：我得上网去做人格测试。

I woke up this morning with a craving, not for a specific pasta dish, a specific pastry. No. Nothing of this sort. Today, I woke up with a craving for self exploration to learn more about me, and I know exactly what that means. I need to go online and take personality quizzes.

不是那种有科学依据、能给出真正准确结果的，而是那些结果不靠谱、靠不住的人格测试。今天我就需要这个。所以这就是我今天要做的事。那些科学的人格测试我早就做过了，事实上我最近才刚做了一次。

Not ones backed by science that will give me real accurate results, but unreliable personality quizzes with questionable results. That's what I need today. And so that's what I'm going to do today. I've taken the personality quizzes that are backed by science. In fact, I actually just took one recently.

我花了60美元。整个过程挺怪的，我大概花了三十分钟做测试，最后它给我结果，还问我觉不觉得准。说实话，我觉得不准，就选了“否”。然后它就说，好吧。

I paid $60 for it. And it was weird because I spent, like, thirty minutes taking this test. And then at the end, it gave me my results and asked me if I thought the results were accurate. And to be completely honest, I didn't think they were, so I said no. And then it was like, okay.

“这里是各种人格类型的介绍，你觉得哪一种最像你？”我选了一个，它就说：“恭喜，这就是你的人格类型。”我当时的反应就是，行吧。

Well, here's some information on all the different personality types. Which one do you think is the most like you? And so I selected one, and then it was like, congratulations. That's that's your personality type. And I was like, okay.

可我刚刚花了三十分钟、付了60美元是图啥？所以现在我干脆去做那些免费、结果可疑的测试，因为更有趣。今天咱们就干这个。我通常去wikihow.com找测试。

But why did I just take a thirty minute quiz and pay $60? What? So now I'm just gonna take the free quizzes with questionable results because it's more fun. So that's what we're gonna be doing today. I tend to find my quizzes on wikihow.com.

有些测试页面上还贴着“专家认证”的小徽章，说是专家出的题。我觉得我今天要做的这些未必是专家写的，但也难说。今天要做的第一个测试是“成熟度测试”。我预测结果会说我成熟，我一直觉得自己比同龄人成熟些。

Some of them actually have a little badge on them on the website that say expert, like an expert created the quiz. I don't think the ones I'm taking today are are made by experts, but maybe. The first test I'm gonna be taking today is a maturity test. My prediction is the result is gonna say I'm mature. I've always felt kinda mature for my age.

可回头想想十几岁的时候，其实也没多成熟。我当时自以为成熟得多，所以同样的情况现在也可能发生：我现在觉得自己超成熟，但十年后回头看可能会想，其实也就那样吧。拭目以待。

But then again, when I look back at when I was like a teenager, I actually wasn't that mature. Like, I I thought I was a lot more mature than I actually was. So same thing could be happening now. Like, I think I'm super mature now, but in ten years, I'll look back and be like, oh, not really. So we'll see.

这测试说不定会让我挺没面子。开始吧。先插播一下，本期《Anything Goes》由沃尔玛赞助。严格说现在还是夏天，但心理上我已经开始惦记秋季穿搭了。

This will this will potentially be really humbling. Let's begin. I briefly interrupt this episode to let you know that this episode of Anything Goes is presented by Walmart. Sure. Technically, it's still summer, but mentally, I'm already starting to think about fall fashion.

说到升级秋季衣橱，谁应有尽有？沃尔玛。沃尔玛把你要的单品全备齐了：摘苹果穿的 cozy 毛衣，刻南瓜时穿的日常基本款，还有酷帅运动鞋、可爱靴子，价格都合适。

And you know who has everything to upgrade your fall wardrobe? Walmart. Walmart has all the pieces you could ever need. We're talking about cozy sweaters for apple picking, casual staples for carving pumpkins. We're talking about cool sneakers, cute boots, and the price is right.

上walmart.com/shop/women's-trends 选购今秋热门新品。网址是walmart.com/shop/women's-trends。广告结束，回到节目。第一题：你觉得自己大多数时候能掌控情绪吗？我会说能。

Shop major fall trends and new drops at walmart.com/shop/women's-trends. That's walmart.com/shop/women's-trends. Now back to the episode. The first question is, do you feel like you have a good handle on your emotions most days? I would say yes.

我可以一边挣扎一边把笑容挂在脸上，你懂的。我可以装到成功为止。但有时候我藏不住。就像，我我我不太擅长在别人面前掩饰情绪上的困难。我也不知道。

I can be struggling and put a smile on my face, you know. I can fake it till I make it. But sometimes I can't hide it. Like, I I'm I'm not the best at hiding emotional challenges from others. Like, I don't know.

有时候我需要发泄一下。有时候我会明显脾气不好，但我得说我在处理情绪方面还算中等水平。然而，我是一个在私下很容易被情绪淹没的人。在公众场合，我处理得还可以；私下里，就不太行。

Sometimes I need to vent about it. Sometimes I'll be obviously grumpy, but I'd say I'm like moderately good at handling my emotions. However, I am somebody who in private can very easily become overwhelmed by emotions. Publicly, I'm moderately good at handling it. Privately, not the best.

我会说算是吧。我觉得我对情绪还算有点掌控力。好了，下一个问题。你的老师刚刚给你的项目提了建设性的反馈。

I would say kind of. I would say I kind of have a good handle on my emotions. Okay. Next question. Your teacher just gave you constructive feedback on a project.

你会怎么反应？说实话，我觉得这取决于我有多尊敬这位老师。如果我非常敬佩这位老师，他们给我反馈，我会很乐意接受。事实上，我会很兴奋能收到反馈。但如果我不尊敬这位老师，我就不会那么接受。

How do you react? To be honest, I think it depends on how much I respect the teacher. Like, if I really deeply admire a teacher and then they give me feedback, I'm gonna take that feedback warmly. In fact, I'm gonna be excited to receive that feedback. However, if I don't respect the teacher, I'm not gonna take it as well.

我会回答：我向他们表示感谢，并心里记下来，假设给我反馈的老师是我真心尊敬和欣赏的人。好了，继续。下一个问题。你和朋友发生了相当激烈的争吵。

I'm gonna answer that I thank them and make a mental note for later, assuming that the teacher giving the feedback is someone that I genuinely respect and admire. Okay. Moving on. Next question. You and your friend get into a pretty nasty argument.

你会怎么和好？我真的不喜欢争吵。我的意思是，我觉得在关系中有时候必须面对分歧、面对不良行为。但我不喜欢争吵持续。一次变成争吵的对质谈话是一回事，但我希望那只是一个孤立事件。

How do you patch things up? I really don't like arguing. I mean, I think sometimes it's necessary in relationships to confront, you know, differences and to confront bad behavior. However, I don't like a lasting argument. A confrontational conversation that turns into an argument is one thing, but I want that to be like an isolated incident.

我希望它最后能被解决。我不喜欢争吵拖下去。所以，如果是一场激烈的争吵，我真的需要修补关系，我会回答：我承认自己在争吵中的角色，并为我的行为负责。这听起来像我。好的。

I want it to be resolved by the end. I don't like a lasting argument. And so I'd say in the case of a nasty argument, and I really need to patch things up, I would say I'm gonna answer, I acknowledge the role I played in our argument and take accountability for my actions. That feels like me. Okay.

下一个。你多久问一次你的朋友和亲人“你怎么样”？说实话，每次跟人说话我都会问。所以我回答：每次对话至少一次。我在这方面做得不错。

Next. How often do you ask, how are you doing to your friends and loved ones? Honestly, every single time I talk to someone. So I'm gonna answer at least once per conversation. I'm pretty good about that.

好的。下一个。你刚拿到一个糟糕的分数，感到非常沮丧。你会怎么反应？那种情况下，我倾向于向内攻击自己，而且可能会让我心情变差，周围的人能感觉到，但大概不会到伤害别人的程度。

Okay. Next. You just received a bad grade and are feeling super frustrated. How do you react? In that scenario, I tend to turn inward and attack myself, And it might put me in a bad mood that people around me can sort of sense, but probably not to the point that, like, it's harming other people.

但别人可能会察觉：她好像有点不对劲。但大部分挫败感会指向我自己，我会自责，就像分析哪里出了问题，下次怎么改进，然后就很沮丧。我会回答：我不说出来，但接下来一整天都会有点冲。说实话，这确实像我。我我希望我能说，遇到这种事，我可以完全把它抛到脑后，等情绪稳定了再处理。

But other people might be able to tell like, oh, something's wrong with her. But majority of the frustration would be turned inward, and I'd be beating myself up, just kinda like analyzing what went wrong, how I can do better next time, and just being bummed out. I'm gonna answer, I don't talk about it, but I'm a little bit snippy for the rest of the day. To be honest, that does feel like me. I I wish I could say, you know, when something like that happens, I can fully push it out of my mind and and handle it emotionally later.

但如果发生那种事，我有时会有点冲。那么下一个问题，你能以尊重的方式舒服地表达自己的感受吗？可以。我其实觉得自己很擅长这个。我为自己是个非常圆滑的沟通者而自豪。

But sometimes I can get a little bit snippy if if something like that happens. So next, do you feel comfortable expressing your feelings in a respectful way? Yes. I actually think I'm I'm very good at that. I take pride in the fact that I'm a really diplomatic communicator.

让我先Google一下“diplomatic”这个词，确认没用错。diplomatic的定义是：关于或涉及处理国际关系的活动或技巧。好吧，这不是我想表达的意思。

Let me Google the word diplomatic, though, and make sure that I'm using that word correctly. What is the definition of diplomatic? Of or concerning activity, or skill of managing international relations. Okay. Not well, that's not what I mean.

好，等等，我在看。什么是diplomatic behavior？一个diplomatic的人会小心说话做事，以免冒犯别人。

Okay. Hold on. I'm reading. What is a diplomatic behavior? Someone who is diplomatic is careful to say or do things without offending people.

对，我就是这种人。我天生就是讨好型人格，所以变得对抗对我来说既不自然又可怕。我觉得可以说，我在面对和表达感受时非常讲究策略。

Yes. I am very much that. Like, I am by nature a people pleaser. And so, like, becoming confrontational has been somewhat unnatural and terrifying for me. And I I think it's safe to say that I'm very diplomatic about the way that I confront and express my feelings.

所以我肯定地回答：我能分享感受而不指责别人。答案锁定，继续下一题。

So I'm gonna say yes, definitely. I can share my feelings without blaming other people. That's my answer. Locking it in. Moving on.

你想要的新玩意要200美元，但你只攒了100美元。你下一步怎么做？如果我真想要，我会想办法再赚100美元，大概就这样。选项有：问邻居能不能干点活换点零钱。

The new gadget you want costs $200, but you only have a $100 saved up. What's your next move? I mean, if I really want that thing, I'll try to find a way to make a $100. That's that's kind of the plan, I guess. The options are ask my neighbors if I can do some chores for a little cash.

让朋友借我剩下的钱；接下来几个月慢慢攒；或者对父母进行情感绑架直到他们给我。我选问邻居能不能干点活换点零钱，这很符合我的风格。

I ask my friend to loan me the rest of the money. I patiently save a little money over the next few months, or I guilt trip my parents until they give me what I want. I'm gonna say I ask my neighbors if I can do some chores for a little cash. That feels me coded. Okay.

下一题。在一次对话里，你花多少时间聊自己？看情况。如果对方不太爱说话，我就一直说。因为问再多也只能得到简短回答，最后只能讲自己的故事，否则就冷场了。

Next. In a given conversation, how much time do you spend talking about yourself? See, it depends. If I'm talking to somebody who is not particularly chatty, I will just talk the whole time. Because you can only ask so many questions and get so many short answers before it's like, alright, I don't know what to do in this conversation other than just tell stories about myself because otherwise, there will be no talking.

但如果对方特别健谈，我可能完全不聊自己。我在对话里就像变色龙。所以我选50%，我和对方各占一半，我真的会根据对方来调整说话量。年轻时我更爱聊自己，别人插话机会很少。

However, if I'm talking to somebody who's particularly chatty, I might not talk about myself at all. I'm very much a chameleon with conversation. So I'm gonna say about 50%. It's an even split between myself and the other person because I really do determine how much I'm going to talk based on the other person. When I was younger, I think I used to talk a lot more about me, and people got much less airtime.

现在年纪大了，有点累，比例更接近50%。你多久留一次时间自我反思？显然经常，看看现在的我就知道了。

But now that I'm older, I'm a bit more tired. And so it's closer to 50%. How often do you set aside time for self reflection? Obviously, a lot. Look at me right now.

说真的，看看现在的我。你知道，这个问题很难回答，因为我觉得我并没有特意留出时间去自我反思。它更多是自然发生的。我想我每天都会以某种方式自我反思，也许这么说有点夸张。

Literally, look at me right now. You know, this is a a hard question to answer because I don't feel like I necessarily set aside time to self reflect. It more just happens naturally. I think I self reflect every day in one way or another. Maybe that's a bit generous.

也许一周两次吧。但我不会特意安排。就像，我觉得没必要那样做。我现在的生活阶段还没到需要把它安排进日程的程度。我基本上已经习惯了不断自我检视。

Maybe twice a week. But I don't plan it out. Like, I don't think I have to do that. I'm not at a point in my life where I need to plan it out. I I kind of am in a routine of constantly sort of checking in.

所以我的答案是每隔几天一次。下一个。一个朋友刚反驳了你说的话，你会怎么做？我对此挺开放的。

So I'm gonna answer once every few days. Next. A friend just disagreed with something you said. How do you react? I'm pretty open to that.

如果我和某人是朋友，那就意味着我尊重他们和他们的观点。所以如果他们不同意我，我会认真听。不过，我怎么回应取决于他们不同意的是什么。如果他们不同意的是我真心坚信的东西，我可能会说，哦，那我们在这点上看法不同，然后就继续聊别的。如果他们不同意的是我不太坚定的观点，而他们的反对让我开始质疑自己的信念，那我可能会进一步问他们为什么不同意。

If I'm friends with somebody, that means I respect them and their opinions. So if they disagree with me, I'm all ears. However, how I respond depends on what they disagreed with. If they disagreed with something that I truly really believe, I might say, oh, I guess we disagree on that, and then move on. If if they disagree with something, and maybe I'm not super firm in that belief, and them disagreeing makes me question my own belief, then I might ask them further questions about why they disagree.

我会说我问他们的看法。我太想听听他们的想法了。这就是我的答案。好，下一题。

I'm gonna say I ask them about their opinion. I'm so intrigued to hear their thoughts. That's my answer. Okay. Next question.

你喜欢和朋友八卦吗？哎呀，对不起。是的，我喜欢。

Do you like to gossip with your friends? Whoops. Sorry. Yes. I do.

我对此并不自豪。我觉得这是我一个有点毒的特质。我确实喜欢听点小道消息。我想知道谁在和谁约会，谁分手了，谁在吵架，谁干了坏事。我就喜欢这些。

And I'm not proud of it. It's one of my toxic traits, I would say. I do love a little gossip. I love to know who's dating who, who's breaking up, who's in a fight, who did something bad. Like, I love that.

所以我的答案是绝对喜欢。我爱听最新的瓜。对不起，这就是我的答案，抱歉。

So I'm gonna answer absolutely. I love to hear the latest t. Sorry. That's my answer. Sorry.

好，下一题。你的同龄人得了你本来希望拿到的奖，你会怎么做？听好了。

Okay. Next. Your peer wins an award that you were hoping to get. What do you do? Listen.

输的感觉从来都不好。不过，我也不是那种好胜到无法接受的人。我很擅长装作无所谓。就像，如果我的同龄人得了我想拿的奖，我会鼓掌，我会微笑，我会祝贺他们。

It never feels good to lose. However, I'm not such a competitive person that I can't handle it. I'm really good at playing it off. Like, I don't really care. Like, if my peer won an award that I wanted to win, I would clap, I would smile, I would congratulate them.

我心里会有点沮丧。我确实会在心里有点不爽。我还没高尚到被同龄人打败却完全不介意的程度，我还没到那个境界。所以我会说，好吧，看看有哪些选择。

And only on the inside would I be a bit frustrated. I would be a bit frustrated on the inside though. I'm not so morally advanced that a peer beating me, wouldn't bother me on the inside. I'm not there yet. So I would say well, let's see what the options are.

我微笑着祝贺他们。他们实至名归。这是选项一。选项二，我公开表扬他们，但并不是真心的。选项三，我翻白眼。

I smile and congratulate them. They earned it. That's option one. Option two, I give them a shout out, but I don't really mean it. Option three, I roll my eyes.

他们大概靠当老师的宠儿才赢的。选项四，我跟朋友抱怨我才是该赢的人。我觉得最接近我的是公开表扬他们，表面上喊一句“赞”，但心里其实在想，唉，真糟。好了，看看我的结果。

They probably became a teacher's pet in order to win. Option four, I complain to my friends about how I deserve to win. I would say the closest answer to me would be I give them a shout out, give them a shout out, but I deep down, I'm like, ugh, that sucks. Okay. Let's see what my result is.

上面写着，哇。说我非常成熟。这里写，你几乎达到了人类成熟的巅峰，这可不是小事。无论发生什么，你都能保持冷静、镇定、从容，同时始终掌握局势。继续保持优秀表现。

It says, wow. It says I'm really mature. It says here, you're about as mature as a person can be, which is really saying something. No matter what happens, you're able to stay cool, calm, and collected, all while keeping your fingers on the pulse of a situation. Keep up the great work.

你绝对是朋友和亲人应该仰望的榜样。哇。好吧，这极大地满足了我的自尊心。也许这就是我喜欢做这些小测试的原因。

You're definitely someone that your friends and loved ones should be looking up to. Wow. Okay. That was a huge ego boost. Maybe that's why I like taking these quizzes.

因为我觉得它们总是给我我想要的结果。或者也许我真的在自我提升上下了很多功夫，我配得上这些好结果。好，再来一个测试。我要做一个测我有多搞笑的测试。

Because I feel like they always give me the result I wanted to get. Or maybe maybe I've just done a lot of work on myself, and I've earned these good results. Okay. Let's take another quiz. I'm gonna take a quiz that tells me if I'm funny.

上面写着，来做这个测试，看看你到底多有趣。我有点紧张。第一题，当你讲了个笑话，通常得到什么反应？看情况。有时大家笑得很开心，但有时我讲的笑话完全冷场。

It says, take this quiz to see how funny you really are. I'm a little bit nervous. Question one, what kind of response do you usually get when you crack a joke? It depends. I get good laughs, but sometimes I make a joke and it falls completely flat.

但我并不往心里去。说实话，我对笑话本身也没太上心。我对自己说的话其实没怎么琢磨，真的。我就是随口一说，有的好笑。

But I don't really take it personally. Like, I don't put that much effort into the jokes I make. I don't really think a lot about what I say, to be honest. I just say shit. Some of it's funny.

有的不好笑。我不知道。我对笑话或幽默的投入还没多到会去细品大家的反应。你懂我意思吧？我选“时好时坏”。

Some of it's not. I don't know. Like, I'm I don't put enough effort into my jokes or into my humor to pay that close of attention to the responses. Do you know what I'm saying? I'm gonna say it's hit or miss.

这就是我的答案。好，下一题。哪种经典搞笑桥段最有趣？恶作剧电话？

That's my answer. Okay. Next question. Which classic gag is the funniest? Prank calls?

一把会射出写着“砰”的旗子的枪？我觉得这不好笑。往脸上砸个派？这些都不好笑，说真的。我倾向于说这些都不好笑，但我确实觉得恶作剧电话有时候可能有点好笑，也许吧。

A gun that shoots a flag that says bang? That is not funny to me. A pie in the face? None of these, honestly. I'm tempted to say none of these, but I do think a prank call can kind of be funny sometimes, maybe.

不过通常只是“想到它”比实际去做更好笑。真的给别人打恶作剧电话其实没那么好笑，几乎从来都不好笑。我还是说这些都不好笑，好吧。

Although it's usually funnier like, the idea of it is funnier than actually doing it. Like, actually prank calling somebody is not that funny. It's almost never funny. I'm going say none of these, honestly. Okay.

下一题。你会去演脱口秀吗？可能不会，但也不是完全没可能。你懂我意思吗？

Next. Would you ever do stand up comedy? Probably not. But it's not impossible. Do you know what I mean?

就是，我莫名地能想象自己干这个。也许吧。大概有10%的概率我会干这个，这概率够高，所以不是不可能。我会说“也许”，但我会挺紧张的。

Like, I could weirdly see myself getting into that. Maybe. There's like a 10% chance that I could get into that. So that's high enough that it's not impossible. I would say maybe, but I'd be sort of nervous.

这个答案最像我自己。好了，继续。选出你觉得最好笑的笑话。第一个。

That's the answer that seems the most like me. Okay. Moving on. Choose the joke that you think is the funniest. Number one.

我的智商测试结果回来了，结果是阴性。谢天谢地。这不好笑。下一个。

My IQ test came back. My results were negative. Thank goodness. That's not funny. Next.

要是你把青蛙停错地方会怎样？它会被拖走。好的，选项三：我花大价钱把家里做成儿童安全屋，可不知怎的我孩子还是进来了。

What happens when you park your frog in the wrong spot? It gets towed away. Okay. Option three. I spent all that money childproofing my house, but somehow my kids still get inside.

选项四。咚咚咚。谁呀？没铃。没铃谁？

Option four. Knock knock. Who's there? No bell. No bell who?

所以我才敲门啊，没铃。这个我觉得好笑。天啊，我怎么会被这个逗笑？

That's why I'm knocking. No bell. That one was funny to me. Oh my god. Why am I laughing at that?

太丢人了，真的太丢人了。但那个我觉得最好笑。好了，下一题。

That's so embarrassing. That's actually so embarrassing. But that one was the funniest to me. Okay. Next question.

选一组你觉得最搞笑的电视节目。唉，了解我的人都知道，这些剧我大概一部都没看过，因为我基本不看电视。我看过几部剧，但跟普通人比，我看的剧真的很少。好。选项一，《办公室》，我看过。

Choose a set of TV shows that you think are the funniest. Well, knowing me, I'm probably not going to know any of these TV shows because I barely watch TV. I've watched a few TV shows, but compared to the average person, I have not watched a lot of TV shows. Okay. Option one, The Office, I have watched that.

《公园与游憩》，没看过。《足球教练》。那是选项一里的。这组我只看过《办公室》，我确实很爱它，特别搞笑。好。

Parks and Rec, I have not watched that. Ted Lasso. That's like option one. I've only seen The Office, and I did love The Office, and it is hilarious. Okay.

第二类，选项二，《辛普森一家》《恶搞之家》《瑞克和莫蒂》。这几部我都看过，确实挺搞笑。就是有点……太直给的那种好笑，你懂吧？就是那种大开大合、咋咋呼呼的笑话。

Category two, option two, The Simpsons, Family Guy, Rick and Morty. I've seen all of those, and they are pretty funny. They're a little bit too, like, obviously funny. Do you know what I mean? Like, they're making these broad, brash sort of jokes.

但我还是挺喜欢这些剧的，好玩。然后选项三是《费城永远阳光灿烂》《发展受阻》《善地》。这几部我都没看过。我选《办公室》《公园与游憩》《足球教练》这组。

But I I like those shows, though. They're fun. And then option three is It's Always Sunny, Arrested Development, The Good Place. Haven't haven't seen any of those. I'm gonna say The Office Parks and Rec Ted Lasso.

这组我只看过《办公室》，但我太喜欢它了，所以敢放心选这个答案。下一题。你会被自己讲的笑话逗笑吗？会。会。

I've only seen The Office out of this category, but I feel like I like The Office so much that I feel comfortable selecting that answer. Next question. Do you ever laugh at your own jokes? Yes. Yes.

每次讲笑话都笑？那倒不是。偶尔吧，但不是每次都笑。很多时候我最好笑的时候，根本没想到自己在搞笑。我爸就跟我说过这话。

Every time I make a joke? No. I would say now and then, but not always. I think a lot of times I'm funniest when I don't even think I'm being funny. My dad told me that once.

他说：“你最好笑的时候，是你压根没意识到自己在搞笑，只是做你自己。”我当时想，你这是在笑我吗？不过确实，有时候我随口冒出一句，自己没笑，因为没觉得那是笑话。

He was like, you're the funniest when you don't even realize that you're being funny. It's just you being you. And it's like, well, are you laughing at me? But that is true. Like, sometimes a funny thing will come out of my mouth on accident, and I won't laugh at it because I didn't think I was making a joke.

可事后一想，哎，好像还真有点好笑。所以，偶尔会被自己逗笑。下一题，你通常觉得哪种笑话最好笑？好，我的选项是：第一，只要机智，啥笑话我都笑。

But then later, think about it, I'm like, oh, that actually kinda was funny. So, yeah, now and then. Next, what kind of joke do you usually find the funniest? Okay. My options are, number one, all kinds of jokes.

第二， slapstick 或肢体喜剧。我喜欢用身体演。这个我不行。第三，快节奏的一语双关或冷幽默。

As long as they're witty, I'm laughing. Option two, slapstick or physical comedy. I like to use my body. I don't like that. Option three, quick one liners or dry humor.

第四，黑色幽默或有争议的笑话。说实话，只要够机智，我啥笑话都喜欢。这就是我的答案。我通常不爱肢体喜剧或 slapstick，那不适合我。

Option four, dark humor or controversial humor. Honestly, I kinda like all kinds of jokes as long as they're witty. I feel like that's my answer. I usually don't like physical comedy or slapstick comedy. Like, that's not for me.

但听着，如果有人讲得不错，我可能会笑。所以我会讲各种笑话。下一个，你有没有因为讲某个笑话而惹上麻烦？有。我的意思是，可能吧，尤其在我更年轻的时候。

But listen, if somebody does it well, I might laugh. So I'm gonna say all kinds of jokes. Next, have you ever gotten in trouble for telling a certain joke? Yeah. I mean, probably, especially when I was younger.

现在不会了。但年轻时，我觉得我的幽默更大胆，年轻时为了逗笑我什么都敢说。我会把底线推到他妈的极限。懂吗？

Not anymore. But when I was younger, I think I was a bit riskier with my humor when I was younger. Like, I would say whatever to get a laugh. I would push the fucking limits. Okay?

我毫无顾忌。我现在回答，我确实把玩笑开过火，是的。那只是因为我以前爱开疯狂的玩笑，而现在不这样了。那些玩笑从不是超级粗鲁或侮辱性的，也从不涉及道德错误。

I had no bounds. I'm gonna answer, I've taken a joke too far now, and then yeah. That's only because I used to make crazy jokes, whereas now I don't. They were never like super like rude or insulting. They were never like morally wrong.

但年轻时我爱实验，可能会说些有点不敏感的话，就是那些我现在不会再开的玩笑。好，下一个。选最搞笑的 insult。选项一，别再偷我的氧气了。

But when I was younger, I was experimental, and I'd maybe say something that was a bit a bit insensitive, like jokes that I wouldn't maybe make now. Okay. Next. Choose the funniest insult. Option one, stop stealing my oxygen.

你只是在浪费它。不好。选项二，我绝不会低估你。因为根本做不到。不好。

You just waste it. Not good. Option two, I'd never underestimate you. It's not possible. Not good.

三，哦，你的脸提醒我今天该倒垃圾了。这 insult 太恶劣了。不好笑，很刻薄。我不喜欢。选项四，你照片里看起来聪明多了。

Three, oh, your face just reminded me that it's trash day. That is a horrible insult. Like, not funny, mean. I don't like it. Option four, you seemed smarter in your picture.

我喜欢“你照片里看起来聪明多了”。它够轻松，不会太过分，但又有点好笑吧。好，下一个。你在朋友圈里扮演什么角色？

I like you seemed smarter in your picture. It's like lighthearted enough to not be too mean, but it is kinda funny, I guess. Okay. Next. What role do you play in your friend group?

选项一，负责的“妈妈”朋友。选项二，派对狂。选项三，可靠又冷静的朋友。选项四，很难联系到的朋友。我觉得自己属于可靠又冷静的朋友。

Option one, the responsible mom friend. Option two, the party animal. Option three, the reliable and level headed friend. Option four, the friend who's hard to get ahold of. I feel like I'm the reliable and level headed friend.

我可能也有点像负责的“妈妈”朋友，但我没有妈妈那种气场，而且在朋友圈和社交圈里我都是最小的。所以我不觉得自己像妈妈，但我确实像那个可靠又冷静的朋友。我不是派对狂，因为我不喝酒，也不太参加派对，很少出门。

I might also be the responsible mom friend, but I don't really give mom vibes, and I'm very much the youngest in my friend group and in my social circle. So I don't necessarily feel like the mom, but I do feel like the reliable level headed friend. I'm not the party animal because I don't drink. I don't really party very much. I don't go out very often.

我不是那种派对朋友。我也不是难联系的朋友。其实挺好找的，至少对最亲近的朋友来说。我会说我是那个可靠、冷静的朋友。我经常给朋友提建议，有时还是主动提的。

I'm not the party friend. And I'm not the friend who's hard to get ahold of. I'm actually pretty easy to get ahold of, at least with my closest friends. I'm the reliable, level headed friend, I would say. I do give a lot of advice to my friends, sometimes unsolicited.

但他们还是愿意跟我做朋友，所以这些建议肯定不错。好了，接下来，选你最喜欢的笑话形式：结尾有包袱的故事、双关或反幽默、你妈笑话，还是恶作剧或整人？不喜欢你妈笑话。

But they're still friends with me, so the advice must be pretty good. Okay. Next, choose the joke format that you like most. Stories with a punchline at the end, puns or anti humor, your mom jokes, or practical jokes or pranks. Don't like your mom jokes.

我又不是11岁的小男孩。不喜欢恶作剧或整人。实际上，我讨厌它们。这是我的一个雷点。我可不想有人躲在角落跳出来吓我。

I'm not an 11 year old boy. Don't like practical jokes or pranks. In fact, I hate them. I actually like, it's a pet peeve of mine. I don't want someone to hide behind a corner and jump out and scare me.

那一点都不好笑。我不想有人打电话跟我说，天啊，我的狗丢了，你能来帮我找吗？然后我跑去帮他们找狗，结果另一个朋友打扮成狗躲在灌木丛里，突然跳出来假装咬我腿，当玩笑。

That's not funny. I don't want someone to call me and say, oh my god. I lost my dog. Can you come help me find it? And then I go and help them try to find their dog, and then like our other friend is hiding in a bush dressed up as a dog, and like jumps out of the bush and like bites me in the leg as a joke.

我觉得那一点都不好笑。我不喜欢这种破事。不好笑，只会让我焦虑。别来这套。

That's not funny to me. I don't like that shit. It's not funny. It causes me anxiety. None of that.

结尾有包袱的故事和双关或反幽默，我觉得这两个最强，但双关很少真的好笑。所以我选结尾有包袱的故事。好了，最后一个问题：你上一次笑哭是什么时候？

Stories with a punchline at the end, and puns or anti humor, I would say those are the strongest options, but puns are rarely funny. So I'm going say stories with a punchline at the end. Okay. Last question. When was the last time you cried laughing?

笑哭？有阵子了。我不常笑到哭。得特别好笑才能让我笑哭，但真发生时，那就太神奇了。我想想，几个月前我有一次笑哭了。

Cried laughing? It's been a while. I don't cry laughing very often. It kind of takes a lot for me to be crying laughing, but when it happens, it is it is magic. I'm gonna say in the last couple months, I cried laughing.

好了，我对结果有种不祥的预感。我要看到结果了，正在加载，我觉得不会太好。哦，它说‘你天生幽默’。

Okay. I have a bad feeling about the results. I'm about to get my results. It's loading, and I I don't think it's gonna be good. Oh, it said you're naturally funny.

“你在喜剧方面完全是天赋型选手。”这期播客简直变成我靠做测试自吹自擂了。我不会因为测试结果就挺胸抬头得瑟，但结果出奇地正面。我得找个测试得个差评，为了节目效果。不过算了，就这样吧。

You're a total natural when it comes to comedy. This this fucking podcast episode is turning into like me just stroking my own ego by taking these quizzes. Like, I'm not gonna be coming off of these quizzes like puffing my chest or anything, but the results are shockingly positive. Like, I need to take a quiz and get a bad result for the sake of entertainment. But anyway, okay, fine.

既然都这样了，那就读读我‘天生幽默’的结果吧：‘你在喜剧方面完全是天赋型选手，就像拥有别人没有的第六感。你总知道说什么能逗笑，也懂得怎么说才能让包袱响。但你也知道什么时候不该开玩笑，不会过度。’

Well, while we're at it, let's just read my result about how I'm naturally funny. You're a total natural when it comes to comedy. It's like you have a sixth sense for humor that most other people don't. You always know just what to say to get a laugh, and you know just how to say it to make sure the joke lands. But you also know when it's not the time for a joke and how not to overdo it.

哇，太棒了。你知道吗？收到这个结果挺开心的，因为我感觉自己这些年越来越不幽默了。随着长大，我确实觉得丢了一点幽默感。

Wow. That's wonderful. I see, you know what? It's nice to receive this result because I feel like I've gotten less funny over the years. Just with growing up, I do feel like I've lost a little bit of my humor.

我觉得是因为年轻时你意识不到。就像我，有时候几乎不敢搞笑，因为我会想，搞笑其实需要一点锋芒和风险，而我现在年纪大了，就更害怕这些。不过，这个WikiHow测试告诉我“我还行”，听着挺开心的。好，下一题。

I think because when you're younger, you're just less aware. Like, I'm I'm almost too afraid to be funny sometimes because I'm like, sometimes being funny, it does require a little bit of edge and risk, and that scares me more now that I'm older. Well, it's nice to hear from this WikiHow quiz that I I still got it. Okay. Next.

我是哪种女孩？来做这个测试，看看你是哪种类型的女孩。我不知道它会得出什么结果，我挺好奇的。这测试范围挺广的。你是哪种女孩？

What kind of girl am I? Take this quiz to find out what kind of girl you are. I I don't know what this is gonna like, I'm very curious about what it's gonna say. It's a very broad quiz. What kind of girl are you?

我挺想看看自己会被归入哪种“girly pop”刻板印象。好，第一题：你最好的朋友会怎么形容你？选项一：热情、聪明、善良；选项二：狂野、自由、勇敢；

I'm curious to see what girly pop stereotype I fall into. Okay. First question, how would your best friends describe you? Option one, passionate, smart, and kind. Option two, wild, free, and courageous.

选项三：忠诚、上进、自信；选项四：活泼、精力充沛、友好。我觉得朋友们大概会把我归为“活泼、精力充沛、友好”那一类，这好像是他们最常看到的我。嗯。

Option three, loyal, driven, and confident. And option four, bubbly, energetic, and friendly. I would probably say my friends would probably describe me as probably bubbly, energetic, and friendly. I feel like that's the side of myself that my friends see the most. Yeah.

感觉挺对的。下一题。当你看日落时会想到什么？我通常是看着日落就想：哇，真美，太漂亮了。

That that seems right. Next. What do you think of when you look at a sunset? I mean, usually when I'm looking at a sunset, I'm just like, wow, that's super nice. Look how beautiful that is.

我只是在想日落，就这样。我只是在想，哇，好明亮的橙色。我要回答这个世界可以有多美。我觉得那才是最真实的我。

I'm just kinda thinking about the sunset, and that's it. I'm just thinking about like, wow. What a bright orange color. I'm gonna answer how beautiful the world can be. I feel like that's the most me.

K。下一个。老实说，你在白日梦什么？选项一，我的暗恋对象。

K. Next. Be honest. What are you daydreaming about? Option one, my crush.

选项二，我梦想中的衣柜。选项三，我不做白日梦，我只担心。哦，这听起来有点像我。选项四，周末冒险。

Option two, my dream closet. Option three, I don't daydream. I just worry. Oh, that kinda sounds like me. Option four, weekend adventures.

老实说，我可能在想暗恋对象。如果我不是，因为也许我在一段关系里，那我就在担心。但出于，我不知道，我想乐观积极地回答，我会说我的暗恋对象。即使我在一段关系里，我通常都在，因为我就是那种女朋友型的人，我很可能一直在担心，而且我没有暗恋对象。但我的意思不是说我不会幻想我有的男朋友，只是感觉不一样。

To be honest, I'm probably daydreaming about a crush. And then if I'm not, because perhaps I'm like in a relationship, I'm worrying. But for the sake of like, I don't know, I wanna answer optimistically and positively, I'm gonna say my crush. Even though if I'm in a relationship, which I usually am because I'm just such a girlfriend kinda girl, I I am probably like, I'm worrying a lot, and I don't have a crush. But I mean, not that I I don't daydream about a boyfriend that I have, but it's just different.

当我有暗恋对象时，我会24小时都在想他们，因为这是从担忧中分心的好办法。这是唯一真正有效的分心方式。没有其他想法足够占据我来让我从担忧中分心。下一个问题。你是哪朵花？

When I have a crush, I'm obsessed thinking about them twenty four seven because it's such a good distraction from my worries. It's like the only distraction that actually works. No other thoughts are consuming enough to distract me from my worries. Next question. Which flower are you?

选项一，郁金香。选项二，向日葵。选项三，雏菊。选项四，玫瑰。我觉得自己是一朵雏菊。

Option one, tulip. Option two, sunflower. Option three, daisy. Option four, rose. I feel like I'm a daisy.

这感觉就是我的审美。你知道的，就是那种可爱的小雏菊，看起来有点野，很简单，不完美。郁金香太僵硬了，玫瑰也太僵硬。雏菊看起来更特别。

That feels like my aesthetic. You know, like the cute little, like wild looking daisy with like the it's very simple, not super perfect. Tulips are really stiff. Roses are really stiff. Daisies are more unusual looking.

那些小花瓣可能有点弯曲之类的。我不知道，那感觉更像我自己。下一个问题。如果你余生只能做其中一项活动，你会选哪一个？

The little petals can be kind of bent and stuff. I don't know. That feels more me. Next question. If you could only do one of these activities for the rest of your life, what would it be?

阅读、给朋友发短信或打电话、旅行，还是创作艺术？我会选创作艺术。旅行是第二选择，但我真的很喜欢待在家里做艺术。我觉得那是我可以全天候做的事，永远不会厌倦。

Reading, texting and calling my friends, traveling, or making art? I'm going to say making art. Traveling is a close second, but I really like being at home making art. Like, I think that's something that I like twenty four seven. Like, I never get sick of that.

而旅行，我有时会想家，然后我就想，好了，我受够了，我不能再继续了，你懂吧？我也很喜欢给朋友发短信或打电话，但其实我做得不多。

Whereas traveling, sometimes I get homesick, and I'm like, alright. I'm done. I can't do this anymore. You know? And I love texting and calling my friends, but, like, I don't do that that much.

我大多数时候是和朋友线下见面。我们不怎么发短信或打电话，所以我选创作艺术。我暂时打断一下这期节目，告诉你这期是由State Farm赞助的。表面上保险看起来都一样，但有保险并不等于有State Farm。就像你跟发型师说要一个时髦的精灵短发，结果却剪成了“我要找你们经理”那种发型。

I hang out with my friends in real life for the most part. We don't text and call that much, so I'm gonna say making my art. I briefly interrupt this episode to let you know that this episode is brought to you by State Farm. Insurance may all seem the same on the surface, but having insurance isn't the same thing as having State Farm. It's like asking your stylist for a chic pixie, but ending up with a, can I speak to the manager haircut?

你不会接受一个糟糕的发型，那也别随便接受任何保险。当你需要帮助时，State Farm才是真的靠谱。像好邻居一样，State Farm就在你身边。下一个问题。你梦想的家是什么样的？

You wouldn't settle for a horrible hairstyle, so don't settle for just any insurance. When it comes to getting the help you need, State Farm is the real deal. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Next question. What does your dream home look like?

选项一，一辆带轮子的艺术小屋，可以环游全国。选项二，藏在森林里的安静小屋。选项三，繁华都市里光鲜亮丽的公寓。选项四，安静街区里温馨的房子。我选安静街区里温馨的房子。

Option one, an artistic tiny home on wheels traveling across the country. Option two, a quiet cottage hidden in the woods. Option three, a glitzy apartment in a bustling city. Option four, a cozy house nestled in a quiet neighborhood. I'm gonna say a cozy house nestled in a quiet neighborhood.

藏在森林里的安静小屋听起来也不错，但我确实喜欢有邻居。比如我的一个邻居，我觉得如果我有事，我可以打电话给他。这家伙会过来，帮我搞定。我不知道怎么解释，但我隔壁这个家伙就像个保护者。我们住得也不算太近。

A quiet cottage hidden in the woods sounds nice too, but I do like having neighbors. Like, one of my neighbors is like this guy who I feel like if something bad was happening to me, I could call him. And this guy would come over, and he would fucking handle it for me. I don't know how to explain it, but this dude who lives next to me just seems like a protector. And we don't live that close.

他听不到我放音乐，我也听不到他在干嘛。我们离得够远，不会互相打扰，但他也近到如果出事了——我没有他号码，但我该要一个——我可以打电话给他，我觉得他会冲过来帮我解决问题。我喜欢有邻居，我不想一个人待在森林里。

He doesn't hear me listening to music. I don't hear him doing whatever the fuck he's doing. We're far enough away that we're not, like, I don't know, on top of each other, But he's also close enough that if some shit was going wrong I don't have his number, but I should get it because I could call him, and I feel like he would run over, and he would help solve the problem. I like having neighbors. I don't wanna be alone in the woods.

这让我很害怕。因为如果出了什么差错，有什么不对劲，你就孤零零地在那里。我的两个祖父母住在深山里。非常非常非常深的山里。你得真的开进山里才能到他们那儿。

That freaks me out. Because if something goes wrong, something gets weird, you're alone out there. Two of my grandparents live deep in the mountains. Deep, deep, deep, deep, deep in the mountains. Like, you gotta really drive into the mountains to get to them.

每次我在那儿，都会感到一种奇怪的平静、安宁和安全，但同时也会感到一种前所未有的危险感。我无法解释。知道如果你打911，得等两个小时才会有人来，这种感觉真的很不安。但同样，那里也很难被找到。如果有人想找你，他们得真的知道路才行。

And every time I'm there, I feel oddly calm and at peace and safe, but also oddly more in danger than I've ever felt in my entire life. I can't explain it. There's something really unsettling about knowing that if you call 911, it's gonna be two hours before anyone shows up. But also, it's hard to be found there. Like, if someone wanted to find you, they'd really have to know where they're going.

你懂我意思吗？不过我不知道，我不喜欢这样。所以，总之我会选一栋坐落在安静街区里的温馨房子，因为至少有邻居。下一个问题。

You know what I'm saying? I don't know, though. I don't like it. So, anyway, I'm gonna say a cozy house nestled in a quiet neighborhood because at least there's neighbors. Next question.

你出门总是带哪一样？选项一，我的水瓶。选项二，我的计划本。选项三，一件外套。选项四，我的随身小镜子。

Which of these things do you always have with you? Option one, my water bottle. Option two, my planner. Option three, a jacket. Option four, my pocket mirror.

我确实去哪儿都带着我的Stanley杯装水。我选这个，因为我是个重度计划本女孩、日程安排女孩，但眼下我全都用手机虚拟完成，所以我现在没有实体计划本。我选水瓶。下一个问题。

I really do bring my Stanley Cup with water in it everywhere. I'm gonna say that because I am a big planner girl, scheduler girl, but at this moment in time, I'm doing it all virtually on my phone. So I don't have a physical planner these days. I'm gonna say water bottle. Next question.

你逛街时会不自觉被什么吸引？基础色，比如白、黑、灰；中性色，比如绿、海军蓝、焦橙；明亮的宝石色，比如粉、蓝、紫；还是柔和的快乐色，比如黄、紫、红？我觉得前两个最像我，基础色和中性色，但我选基础色。我穿很多黑白灰。其实它们是我最爱穿的颜色，所以答案就是这个。

When you're shopping, what do you gravitate towards? Basic tones like white, black, and gray, neutral tones, like green, navy, and burnt orange, bright jewel tones, like pinks, blues, and purples, or soft, happy colors, like yellow, purple, and red. I would say the first two are the most me, basic tones and neutral tones, but I'm gonna choose basic tones. I wear a lot of black and white and gray. In fact, those are my favorite colors to wear, so that's my answer there.

有人觉得无聊，但我觉得很时髦、很经典。抱歉。说我无聊也行。这个测试的结果大概会是：你是哪种女孩？

Some people think it's boring, but I think it's really chic and classic. Sorry. Call me boring. It's probably what the result's gonna be for this quiz. It's gonna be like, what kind of girl are you?

他妈的无聊。但别急着下结论。我们等结果吧。下一个问题。以下哪种香味组合最吸引你？

Fucking boring. But let's not jump to conclusions. Let's let's wait for the results. Next question. Which of these scent combinations are you most drawn to?

薰衣草和香草？香草和雪松木？玫瑰和柠檬？橙子和薄荷？我选香草和雪松木。

Lavender and vanilla? Vanilla and cedarwood? Rose and lemon? Orange and mint? I'm gonna say vanilla and cedarwood.

我确实喜欢甜美、浓郁的香味。不太喜欢花香。我也喜欢柑橘香，但没有像喜欢香草那样。我选香草和雪松木。那最像我。

I do like sweet, rich scents. Not super into florals. I do like citrus scents, but not as much as I like vanilla. I'm gonna say vanilla and cedarwood. That's the most me.

接下来，哪一句名言最能打动你？哦，我会超爱这个环节。我就喜欢名言。好，选项一。

Next, which of these quotes speak most to you? Oh, I'm gonna love this. I love a quote. Okay. Option one.

“当你决定做自己的那一刻，美便开始了。”我喜欢这句话。它说得没错，但也有些天真。你懂我意思吗？“美始于你决定做自己的那一刻”。

Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself. I like this quote. It's true, but it's also it's a little naive. Do you know what I mean? Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.

就像，是的，这没错，但我们毕竟活在社会里。我们确实生活在一个对外貌有巨大压力的世界。这是个残酷的世界，我觉得这句话缺乏平衡。它忽略了现实里的审美标准，以及要不被这些标准影响有多难。总之，我觉得我把这句话想太深了。

It's like, yes, that's true, but also we do live in a society. We do where there's like so much pressure to to look good. We live in a cruel world, and I I think that that's it it lacks balance, this quote. This quote lacks the reality of, like, beauty standards and how hard it is to not feel the pressure from them. Anyway, I think I'm overthinking the quote.

看下一句名言选项：“我内心的力量，比任何能击败我的外在都更强大。”这句话还行，但对我来说，我觉得世上有些东西确实能把我打倒。不，你知道吗？

Let's move on to the next quote option. Whatever is in me is stronger than what is out there to defeat me. This quote's okay, but I also feel like, at least for me, there are things out there that could defeat me. No. You know what?

我要对这句话保持乐观，别太较真。我确实喜欢这句话，因为人们常说“杀不死你的会让你更强大”，这确实是真的。所以我觉得这句话不错。好。

I'm gonna be optimistic about this quote. I'm not gonna be so literal. I do like this quote because I do think that, as they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and it is true. So I do think that that is a decent quote. Okay.

下一句：“为你想要的努力，同时为你拥有的感到快乐。”哦，我真的很喜欢这句。多年来我切身体会到了这一点。在我至今的职业旅程中，我真的学到了：要为你想要的努力，也要为你拥有的感到快乐，因为你几乎永远不会真正满足。

Next one. Be happy with what you have while working for what you want. Oh, I really like that. I do think that that's something that I've learned over the years in a very visceral way. Throughout my career journey thus far, I've really learned this lesson to be happy with what you have while working for what you want because you'll almost never be satisfied.

你懂吗？你总会朝某个目标前进。所以你得享受当下，为你拥有的感到快乐，而不是把快乐寄托在“得到就幸福了”的未来。我说清楚了吗？我不知道。

You know what I mean? You'll always be working towards something. So you have to enjoy the moment and be happy with what you have, not be yearning for the happiness that will come with getting what you want. Does that make sense? I don't know.

无所谓。总之我喜欢这句话，可能会选它。哦，但最后这句也很棒：“错误是发现的入口。”

Whatever. So I like that quote. That might be the one that I choose. Oh, but this last quote is really good too. Mistakes are the portals of discovery.

我要打响指了。我真的很喜欢最后这两句。哇，它们都很赞。我挺喜欢“错误是发现的入口”这句。

I'm snapping. I really like the last two. I think wow. They're both really good. I kind of like mistakes are the portals of discovery.

我选它，因为这也是我需要经常提醒自己的一句话——我有点完美主义。所以当我犯错时，即使我心里明白“错误是发现的入口”，就像这句话说的，可我还是会忘记，然后对自己发火。因此我要选这句，因为我需要多听几遍。下个问题：你是什么冰淇淋口味？

I'm gonna choose it because it's also a quote that I need to remind myself of more often because I'm kind of a perfectionist. And so when I make a mistake, even though I know it's a portal for of discovery, as this quote says, even though I know that deep down, I can sometimes forget that and get really angry at myself when I make a mistake. So I'm gonna choose that quote because I need to hear it more often. Next question. What ice cream flavor are you?

选项一，薄荷巧克力片。选项二，草莓。选项三，巧克力。选项四，香草。我觉得自己是薄荷巧克力片。

Option one, mint chocolate chip. Option two, strawberry. Option three, chocolate. Option four, vanilla. I'd like to think that I'm mint chocolate chip.

因为在这些选项里，薄荷巧克力片最有趣。它最独特，但也是种后天口味，不是人人都喜欢薄荷。我觉得这很像我。好了。

Because out of these options, mint chocolate chip is the most interesting. It's the most unique, but it's also an acquired taste. Not everybody likes mint. I feel like that's very me. Okay.

最后一个问题。闭上眼睛想象你的未来。你看到了什么？选项一，每天都有新视野，文化，环游世界。选项二，我在梦想之家，从梦想衣柜里拿衣服，事业登顶。

Last question. Close your eyes and imagine your future. What do you see? Option one, new horizons every day, culture, traveling the world. Option two, I'm in my dream home, grabbing clothes from my dream closet, rising to the top of my career.

选项三，家人围在壁炉旁，我们都无比幸福。选项四，我拥有高等学位，正在追逐梦想。我喜欢想象家人围在壁炉旁，我们都无比幸福。你知道，我已经体验过住在漂亮房子、拥有穿不完的衣服、事业巅峰，这些我都经历过了，没有什么比得上和家人在一起。

Option three, my family around the fireplace, we're all outrageously happy. Option four, I have advanced degrees, and I'm following my dreams. I like to imagine my family around the fireplace, and we're all outrageously happy. You know, I I have experienced living in a wonderful home, having a closet with more clothes in it than I could possibly wear, and and peaking in my career. I've experienced that already in my life, and there's nothing like being with family.

那仍然是最美好、最有力量的事。我希望未来也是这样。我真的不再幻想什么梦想之家，我甚至不再有这个概念。我不知道。所以，没错，我会选家人围在壁炉旁。

That is still the most wonderful, powerful thing. And I hope that that's in my future. I don't really see, like, my idea of, like, a dream home is not I don't even have that anymore. I don't know. So, yeah, I'm gonna save my family around the fireplace.

好了，看看我的结果。我在等，它在加载。3、2、1。

Okay. Let's see what my result is. I'm waiting. It's loading. 321.

是什么？我是女生中的女生。没错，这个结果太棒了。哇。

What is it? I'm a girl's girl. Yes. That is an amazing result. Wow.

这消息太棒了。如果你们谁觉得艾玛不是女生中的女生，那就去你的。去你的。因为WikiHow刚刚告诉我我是女生中的女生。它说我睿智、成熟，毫无疑问很善良。

This is amazing news. If any of you guys thought Emma's not a girl's girl, well, fuck you. Fuck you. Because WikiHow just told me that I'm a girl's girl. And it says, I'm wise, mature, and undoubtedly kind.

它说，没错，你很棒。它在对我说，没错，你很棒。

It says, yeah. You're pretty awesome. It's saying this to me. Yeah. You're pretty awesome.

你身上有一种优雅的从容，人人都欣赏。这太贴心了。你不怕伸出援手，也不怕把别人纳入羽翼之下。你简直就是大自然母亲。好的。

There's this elegant grace about you everyone admires. That is so nice. You're not afraid to lend a helping hand or take someone under your wing. You're practically mother nature. Okay.

这有点奇怪。它说，人们可能会向你寻求建议，或者只是需要一个朋友，这没什么可害羞的。拥抱那些母性本能吧，女孩。它们比你想象的更强大。哇哦。

That's a little bit weird. It says, people likely come to you for advice or when they simply need a friend, and that is not something to be shy about. Own those motherly instincts, girl. They're more powerful than you may think. Wow.

我脸红了。这太好了。好吧。这是一个很棒的结果。我……我很高兴成为一个女孩中的女孩。

I'm blushing. That's so nice. Okay. That's a wonderful result. I'm I'm happy to be a girl's girl.

我确实认为自己是女孩中的女孩。有没有可能内心深处，我会对其他女孩有点嫉妒？也许我会觉得有点竞争？当然。但当我有这种感觉时，我的首要任务是超越它，放下它，支持和爱护其他姐妹们。

I do think I'm a girl's girl. Are there moments when deep down, maybe I get jealous of other girls? Maybe I feel a little bit competitive with other girls? Absolutely. But it is my number one priority when I feel those feelings to rise above and to let it go and to support and love other girly pops.

听着。我说我接受我是女孩中的女孩这个结果，但我并不完美。就像，我还是会有一些不太像女孩中的女孩的想法，但我觉得这很正常。下一个测试。这个测试会告诉我我是不是太善良了。

Listen. I'm saying I I accept my result as being a girl's girl, but I'm not perfect. Like, I still have thoughts that feel like they're not very girl's girl, but I think that's normal. Next quiz. This quiz is going to tell me if I'm too nice.

你知道，我愿意相信我已经不再是讨好型人格了。这个测试即将告诉我这是否属实。好的。第一个问题。假设你的脚很疼，但有人想要你的座位。

You know, I'd like to believe that I'm no longer a people pleaser. This quiz is about to tell me if that's true or not. Okay. First question. Let's say your feet hurt, but somebody else wants your seat.

你会怎么做？说实话，我会立刻让座。如果有人……比如，如果我坐在某个地方，就像我在纽约的地铁上，虽然这不太常发生。有人走进来，说，我真的很需要座位。去他的。

What do you do? I'm immediately giving them my seat, to be honest. If somebody like, if I'm sitting somewhere, like, if I'm on a subway, let's say I'm on the subway in New York, which doesn't happen very much. Somebody comes in, and they're like, I really I really need a seat. Fuck it.

他们可以把我的座位拿走。就像，即使有人不一定……比如，需要我的座位，如果有人需要，我二话不说。而且不会有任何怨恨。什么都没有。这是其中一点。

They can have mine. Like, even if somebody doesn't necessarily, like, need my seat, if somebody needs my seat, no questions asked. And there's no feelings of resentment. Nothing. Like, that's one thing.

但如果有人想要我的座位，而他们并不真的需要，比如，也许我们的脚疼得一样厉害。但他们问，嘿，我可以坐你的座位吗？去他的。他们坐吧。我只是不想……我不想有冲突。

But if somebody wants my seat and they don't need it, like, perhaps our feet hurt an equal amount. But they ask, hey, can I have your seat? Fuck it. They can have it. I just don't I don't need drama.

你懂我意思吗？我会选这个答案。迅速站起来，微笑着让座。我会没事的。好的。

You know what I mean? I'm gonna choose the answer. Quickly stand up and give it to them with a smile. I'll be okay. Okay.

下一个问题。你遇到了一个以前在学校欺负你的人。他们现在过得不太好，需要点零钱。你会怎么做？选项一，把你钱包里所有的现金都给他们。

Next question. You run into someone that used to bully you in school. They're not doing so well and need some spare change. What do you do? Option one, give them all the cash in your wallet.

选项二，给他们几美元，但自己留够。选项三，让他们别再烦你，他们不配拿一分钱。选项四，无视他们，笑着走开。我想说，你知道吗？

Option two, give them a few dollars, but keep enough for yourself. Option three, tell them to stop bothering you. They don't deserve any money. Option four, ignore them and walk away laughing. I'm gonna say, you know what?

我现在的人生阶段，我会给吗？我会把钱包里所有现金都给他们吗？可能不会。所有现金？我是说，要是我刚取的钱呢？要是我钱包里有300美元呢？

I'm at a place in my life where I would give them would I give them all the cash in my wallet? Probably not. All the cash in my wallet? I mean, like, what if I have, like what if I just got cash? What if I have, like, $300 in my wallet?

我不会把300美元全给他们。但我会帮一点，没必要把所有钱都掏出来。没关系。除非——除非我跟那人聊得很深，我们把事情都聊开了，也许他们跟我讲他们正在经历的处境，也许他们告诉我他们怎么努力自救、人生目标是什么，那我可能会把所有现金都给出去。

I'm not gonna give them $300. But I would help them out a little bit, but I don't need to give them all of my money. That's okay. I mean, unless you know what though? If I had a really good conversation with that person, and we talked about everything that happened, perhaps we talked about the situation that they're going through in their life, perhaps they share with me their plans to, you know, like, how how they're working on themselves, their goals in life, then I might give them all my cash.

可要是没这样的对话，我不会把现金全给出去。这算自私吗？我选给他们几美元，但自己留够。这不是最完美最准确的答案，但最接近我的立场，你懂吧？

But if a conversation like that isn't happening, I'm not just gonna give them all my cash. Is that selfish? I'm gonna answer give them a few dollars, but keep enough for myself. That's not the most perfect accurate answer, but that's what I'm going to choose because I feel like it's the closest to to where I stand on this. Do you know what I mean?

我觉得没必要把全部现金给别人。有点怪。好，下一题。你走路不小心把咖啡洒到别人衬衫上。

I don't think I don't think you need to give all of your cash to someone. Like, it's a little weird. Okay. Next. You're walking and accidentally spill coffee on someone's shirt.

你会怎么做？我会当场崩溃。这是我的噩梦。我会想尽一切办法补救。我的目标就是解决问题，让对方恢复正常。

What do you do? I would literally freak out. Like, this is my nightmare. I I would do anything to help them. My goal would be to just resolve the problem and get them back to normal.

我会提出去商店给他买件新衬衫送回来。我会给他钱让他自己去买。我会把自己的衬衫脱给他。我他妈什么都愿意做，就为了让他回到正常生活。因为我会超级内疚：天啊，这人本来好好过日子，我一搞把他全天节奏都毁了。

I would offer to go to the store and buy them a shirt and bring them a new shirt. I would offer to give them money to buy a new shirt. I would give them my shirt. Like, I would literally do fucking anything just so that they could get back to their normal lives. Because that's what I would feel so bad about is like, oh my god, this person was like living their normal day, and now I I just fucked up their whole routine.

我就像往他一整天里扔了把扳手。我自己遇到这种事就烦得要死，所以别人碰上我也特难受。我觉得最像我的做法是真诚道歉并提出买件新衬衫。这就是该做的事。下一题，同学生日快到了。

I just threw a wrench into their entire day. And I I personally hate when that happens to me, and so I feel terrible when it happens to others. I think the answer that feels the most me is apologize sincerely in offer to buy them a new shirt. I think that's just the right thing to do. Next, a classmate's birthday is coming up.

你会怎么做？选项一，用一篮子他们最爱的东西给惊喜。选项二，说句生日快乐就完事。选项三，什么都不做，我跟他们不熟。

What do you do? Option one, surprise them with a basket full of their favorite things. Option two, wish them a happy birthday, but that's it. Option three, nothing. I don't know them well enough.

选项四，买点简单的小礼物，比如糖果什么的。如果只是不太熟的同班同学，我就说句生日快乐，就这样。抱歉，我不会随便给人买礼物。

Option four, buy them a simple gift, like candy or something. If it's just a classmate that I don't know very well, I'm just gonna wish them a happy birthday. That's it. Sorry. I'm not going around buying gifts for just anyone.

那可不是我的爱的语言。哦，也许我该去做个爱的语言测试。不是今天，改天吧。我不记得我的爱的语言是什么了，但我知道绝不是送礼物。我不在乎收礼物。

That's not my love language. Oh, maybe I should take a love language quiz. Not today, but like another day. I don't remember what my love language is, but I know it's not giving gifts. I don't care about receiving them.

我也不在乎送礼物。抱歉。下一题，假如有人想跟你吵架，你会怎么做？选项一，赶紧道歉并结束争执。

I don't care about giving them. Sorry. Next, let's say someone is trying to start an argument with you. What do you do? Option one, quickly apologize and drop the argument.

不值得。选项二，坚持立场，以牙还牙。我要奉陪到底。选项三，威胁动手。必要时我可能会挥几拳。

It's not worth it. Option two, stand my ground and match their energy. I'll see this through. Option three, threaten getting physical. I'll probably throw a punch or two if I have to.

选项四，回几句漂亮的反击，但不降到对方水平。我对不必要的争执很回避。如果有人无缘无故找我打架，感觉就是为吵而吵，我可能会道歉并结束争执，转身离开。如果是和我非常亲近的人，就不一样了，我想坐下来解决。

Option four, drop a few good comebacks, but avoid stooping to their level. I'm pretty non confrontational in unnecessary argument. Like if somebody's trying to pick a fight with me for no no good reason, like it just feels like a fight for a fight, I might just apologize and drop the argument, walk away. If it's with somebody I'm really close to, it's different. Like I wanna sit down and figure it out.

我选赶紧道歉并结束争执。不值得。我觉得如果我跟某人并不亲近，他们却想跟我吵，那有什么意义？吵架的意义在哪？我能从中学到什么？

I'm gonna say quickly apologize and drop the argument. It's not worth it. I feel like if I'm not close with somebody and they wanna argue with me, it's like, what's the point? What's the point of arguing? What am I gonna learn from that?

如果是个陌生人因为表面原因对我发火，那不像是一次成长的机会。亲密关系里的争吵才有成长的空间。可要是有人就是想挑事，我不知道。我可能会说我会回几句漂亮的反击，但其实我连那都不会做。我太怂了。

If it's with a stranger who's angry at me for some sort of surface level reason, that doesn't feel like a growth opportunity. Like arguing within relationships, close relationships, there's opportunity for growth there. But, yeah, someone just trying to start an argument, I don't know. I would say I'd drop a few good comebacks, but I don't even think I'd do that. Like, I think I'm too scared.

我不想跟人打架。下一题。有人故意把你花了好久搭的积木塔推倒。我的积木塔？我八岁吗？

I don't wanna fight with people. Next. Someone intentionally knocks over your block tower after you spent ages working on it. My block tower? Am I eight years old?

我没想到这是给四岁小孩的测试。但我就……配合一下。我就继续。有人故意把你花了好久搭的积木塔推倒。你会怎么做？

I didn't think that this was a test for like four year olds. But let's just I'm just gonna humor it. Like, I'm just gonna proceed. Someone intentionally knocks over your block tower after you spent ages working on it. What do you do?

选项一，跟他们说没事，尽管我很沮丧。我可以再搭一个。选项二，一笑了之。反正那塔也不怎么样。搞什么鬼？

Option one, tell them it's fine even though I'm upset. I could make a new one. Option two, brush it off. It wasn't really that nice of a tower anyways. What the fuck?

K。选项三，拿积木砸他们。他们活该。好吧。毕竟我是个24岁的成年人，要去拿积木砸人。

K. Option three, throw a block at them. They deserve it. Okay. Because I'm a 24 year old adult, and I'm gonna throw a block at someone.

我已经搞不懂这个测试是给谁做的了。好吧。总之，选项四，生气并痛骂他们。我花了很多心血。我是说，如果有人……我试着把它套进一个我生活中能理解的场景。

Who I don't understand who this quiz is for anymore. Okay. Anyway, option four, get mad and tell them off. I worked really hard on that. I mean, if somebody like I'm going to try to put this into a context that actually makes sense for me in my life.

比如，假设我在画一幅画，有人故意往上面倒了一杯水，我会生气并痛骂他们。这太过分了。我会把纸扔他们吗？会把笔扔他们吗？

Like, let's say I was drawing a picture, and somebody purposely, like, poured a cup of water on it. I would get mad and tell them off. That's fucked up. Would I throw the paper at them? Would I throw a pen at them?

不会。但我会生气并痛骂他们，因为我真的很用心。好，下一题。一个青梅竹马为了陪别的朋友而错过了你的生日派对。

No. But I would get mad and tell them off because I worked really hard on that. Okay. Next. A childhood friend misses your birthday party to hang out with another friend.

你会怎么做？选项一，对他们大吼，但最终还是原谅。我想人生就是这样。选项二，跟他们说没关系，反正派对也很无聊。

What do you do? Option one, yell at them, but eventually forgive them. I guess life just happens. Option two, tell them it's okay. It was a boring party anyway.

选项三，彻底断交。我不想再当朋友了。选项四，他们生日我也不出现，让他们尝尝滋味。说实话，我可能会直接断交。

Option three, cut them off completely. I don't want to be friends anymore. Option four, not show up on their birthday. See how they like that. To be honest, I I might cut them off.

我知道这听起来很极端，但我的圈子很小，如果有人不出现，那可能这段友谊就已经行不通了。如果我把对方当优先，而对方不把我当优先，那就是失衡。感觉不好。我不想维持这种友谊。所以我会选彻底断交，我知道听起来很极端，但我可能会这么做。

Now, I know that that seems extreme, but like, my circle's pretty small, and if somebody's not showing up, then maybe the friendship just isn't working anymore. If if I'm friends with somebody, and they're not prioritizing me in their life, and I'm prioritizing them, that's an imbalance. That doesn't feel good. So I don't wanna be in friendships like that. So I I would say cut them off completely, and I know that that sounds extreme, but I might do that.

好，最后一题。一个恶霸向你要午餐钱。你会怎么做？这太不现实了，我已经成年了。

Okay. Last question. A bully asks you for your lunch money. What do you do? This is such an unrealistic like, I'm an adult.

没人会跟我要午餐钱。我也不会给任何人我的午餐钱。我会回答：坚决说“不”。这是我的钱，他们别想拿走。好。

Nobody's asking me for my lunch money. I'm not giving anyone my lunch money. I'm gonna answer, tell them no sternly. It's my money, and they can't have it. Okay.

说实话，这是我做过最烂的测试。我不喜欢这个。题目本身就不怎么样，我甚至不相信结果。它说我对人太好了。结果说我对人太好了。

That was like the worst quiz of my life, to be honest. I I didn't like that one. That one just it was like the questions were not that good, and like, I feel like I don't even trust the result. It says I'm too nice. The result is that I'm too nice to people.

它写着：官方认证。根据你的答案，你对人好得过头。善良固然可贵，但你有时可能难以为自己挺身而出。尽量别让别人占你便宜。记住，你的善良是力量，而不是别人理所当然的事。

It says, it's official. Based on your answers, you're too nice for your own good. Kindness goes a long way, but you may have trouble standing up for yourself every now and then. Try not to let other people take advantage of you. Remember, your kindness is a strength, not something to be taken for granted.

好吧。我不想以那个测试结束，因为我感觉我什么都没学到。这是巧合吗？这是第一个结果有点负面的测试？我当时想，我讨厌那个测试。不。

Okay. I don't wanna end on that quiz because I feel like I didn't learn anything. Is it a coincidence that that was the first quiz that had somewhat of a negative result? And I'm like, I hated that quiz. No.

但我们都知道那些题目出得不好。好吧。我们再做一个测试。我要做的最后一个测试是告诉我我的心理年龄的测试。我心理上是个六岁小孩吗？

But we all know that those questions were not good. Okay. Let's take one more quiz. The last quiz I'm gonna take is a quiz that's gonna tell me my mental age. Am I mentally a six year old?

我心理上是个40岁的人吗？我心理上是个90岁的老人吗？拥有不可思议的智慧？让我们通过做这个测试来找出答案。好的。

Am I mentally a 40 year old? Am I mentally a 90 year old? With unbelievable wisdom. Let's find out by taking the quiz. Okay.

第一题。你望向梦想之家的窗外。你看到了什么？我会说很宁静的景象。可能是一个古朴迷人的社区，绿草如茵，树木繁茂。

Question one. You look out the window of your dream home. What do you see? I would say something pretty peaceful. Probably like a quaint, charming neighborhood with lush grass and beautiful trees.

好的。这是其中一个选项。我觉得这可能就是我会选的。下一题。一份礼物寄到了你家。

Okay. That's one of the options. And I feel like that's probably what I'd choose. Next question. A present arrives in the mail.

你希望它是什么？选项一，一盒我需要的所有手工材料。选项二，我梦寐以求的全新游戏机。选项三，一条我最喜欢的颜色的温暖毛绒毯子。选项四，一个闪亮的新扫地机器人。

What do you hope it is? Option one, a box full of all the arts and crafts supplies I could ever need. Option two, the brand new gaming console I've been wanting for months. Option three, a warm plush blanket in my favorite color. Option four, a shiny new robot vacuum for cleaning my floors.

说实话，我确实喜欢好毯子。所以我会选一条我最喜欢的颜色的温暖毛绒毯子。我喜欢毯子。我有很多毯子。我其实不需要更多了。

Honestly, I do love a good blanket. So I would say a warm plush blanket in my favorite color. I love blankets. I have a lot of blankets. I don't really need any more.

但在所有这些东西中，那是我最想要的。我确实喜欢手工材料，但，我对现有的已经很满意了，而且我不喜欢有太多手工材料。其实，我要改一下。也许我确实想要那个。我觉得我可能真的想要那个。

But out of all those things, that's what I want the most. I do like arts and crafts supplies, but, like, I'm happy with what I have, and I don't like having too many arts and crafts supplies. Actually, I'm gonna go back. Maybe I do want that. I think I actually might want that.

如果我收到一个包裹，里面有一条毛绒毯子和一盒手工材料呢？那就完美了。你知道吗？我想我会选手工材料。比毯子更有趣。

Well, what if I got a present in the mail, and I had and I got a plush blanket and a box full of arts and crafts supplies? That would be ideal. You know what? I think I'm gonna choose arts and crafts supplies. More fun than a blanket.

好的。下一题。周五晚上，你迫不及待地想……选项一，看朋友赞不绝口的蜜蜂纪录片。选项二，邀请朋友来家里轻松玩桌游。

Okay. Next. It's a Friday night, and you can't wait to dot dot dot. Option one, watch that honeybee documentary my friend was raving about. Option two, have friends over for a low key game night.

选项三，端着茶、抱着新书蜷缩在椅子里。选项四，和朋友跳舞跳到黎明。我最喜欢的周五夜晚活动没列在这里，那就是出去吃晚餐。在这些选项里，我选叫朋友来家里玩轻松的游戏之夜，听起来很有趣。

Option three, curl up in a chair with some tea and a new book. Option four, go dancing with friends and stay out until dawn. My favorite Friday night activity is not listed on here, and that's going out to dinner. Out of these options, I'm going say have friends over for a low key game night. That sounds fun.

我很乐意这么做。下一题，你的闹钟早上7点响了，你会怎么做？我通常7点左右起床。所以这些选项里，我选关掉闹钟，慢慢起床，向新的一天问好。

I would love to do that. Next, your alarm clock starts ringing at 7AM. What do you do? I normally get up at around 7AM. So out of all of these options, I'm gonna say turn it off, get up slowly, and say hello to the new day.

这听起来像我。不过，有时我7点前就醒了，所以7点的闹钟甚至不会把我吵醒，我早就醒了。但为了答题，我就选关掉闹钟，慢慢起床。

That sounds like me. Although, sometimes I do wake up before 7AM, And so, like, my alarm ringing at 7AM wouldn't even be waking me up. I'd already be awake. But I'm just gonna say, for the sake of it, turn it off. Get up slowly.

向新的一天问好。好的，下一题。在你的书架上，你最可能看到杂志、写满的日记本和我的速写本，这是选项一。

Say hello to the new day. Okay. Next. On your bookshelf, you're most likely to find magazines, filled up journals, and my sketchbook. That's option one.

选项二，家人照片、珍贵纪念品、可爱的小摆件。选项三，我的黑胶唱片收藏、蜡烛、古怪的二手灯。选项四，旧《国家地理》杂志和一排排历史小说。最像我的应该是黑胶唱片、蜡烛和古怪的二手灯。但我也确实有很多家人照片、珍贵纪念品和可爱的小摆件。

Option two, photos of family, treasured mementos, cute knickknacks. Option three, my vinyl collection, candles, funky thrifted lamp. Option four, old copies of National Geographic and rows of historical fiction. I mean, the one that seems the most me coded is my Vinyl Collection, Candles in Funky Thrifted Lamp. But I do have a lot of photos of family treasured mementos and cute knickknacks as well.

而且我觉得我其实更喜欢这些有感情的物品，而不是黑胶唱片、蜡烛和古怪的二手灯。所以我本来要选家人照片、珍贵纪念品和可爱的小摆件。但我确实有一个书架，上面真的摆着古怪的灯、黑胶唱片和蜡烛，太真实了，我觉得我必须选这个。

And I think I actually prefer those items over the vinyl collection candles and funky thrifted lamp. Like, I actually prefer the the more sentimental stuff. So I'm actually gonna choose photos of family, treasured mementos, and cute knickknacks. But that I do really have a bookshelf that literally has a funky lamp, vinyl collection, and candles on it. That's just so true that I think actually I have to choose that one.

算了，我选这个。下一题。你的衣柜塞得满满当当，全是舒适基础款、商务休闲装。

Never mind. Okay. I'm choosing that. Next. Your wardrobe is packed to the brim with comfortable basics, business casual attire.

谁知道呢？我抓到哪件穿哪件，什么流行穿什么。我喜欢紧跟潮流。我选舒适基础款，我现在很多衣服都是这种。

Who knows? I just wear whatever I grab first, and whatever's in style. I like to keep up with the trends. I'm gonna choose comfortable basics. That's a lot of what I have these days.

但我也确实有很多商务休闲装。等等，它说舒适基础款是像运动裤那种。那我选商务休闲装。我有几条裙子看起来是商务休闲风，但对我来说它们很舒服。

But I do also have a lot of business casual stuff. Oh, wait. It's saying like comfortable basics is like sweatpants. I'm gonna choose business casual attire. I have, like, skirts that look business casual, but to me, they're comfy.

明白我的意思吗？所以我觉得商务休闲最准确。好的，下一题。如果全世界能看到你手机上最常用的应用，那会是什么？

Does that make sense? So I feel like business casual is the most accurate. Okay. Next question. If the world could see the most used app on your phone, what would it be?

哦，这个不错。等等，但选项太糟糕了。选项是 Facebook、Instagram、YouTube 和 TikTok。

Oh. This is a good one. Wait. But the options are terrible. The options are Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok.

在所有这些里，YouTube 绝对是我的首选。但我最常用的应用其实是短信。我整天都在发短信。我靠短信工作，我整天都在和不同的人聊天。

Out of all of those, YouTube is definitely my top. But my top used app in general would be texts. I'm on text all day long. I work on text. I'm, like, chatting with various people throughout the day on text.

就像，我总是在发短信。还有 Google 日历。还有 Notion，我用的一款文档软件，一个整理笔记的应用。我每天在上面待好几个小时。但这些都不是选项，所以我选 YouTube。

Like, I'm always on text. But also Google Calendar. But also Notion, my, like, document software that I use, an organizational note taking app. I'm on there for hours every day. But those aren't options, so I'm gonna say YouTube.

好，继续。你会怎么描述你日常的情绪体验？选项一，像一辆马车。缓慢、可预测、令人愉快。

Okay. Moving on. How would you describe your day to day emotional experience? Option one, like a carriage. Slow, predictable, and pleasant.

选项二，像一艘迷路的船，摇摆不定，不知道该往哪走。选项三，像一列火车。路上有些颠簸，但总体平稳。选项四，像过山车，上上下下，转来转去。我选像火车，因为确实有些颠簸。

Option two, like a lost ship, swaying and unsure of which way to go. Option three, like a train. Some jolts along the way, but steady overall. Option four, like a roller coaster, up, down, and all around. I'm gonna say like a train, because there's definitely some jolts along the way.

但我确实觉得我日常的情绪体验还不错。我不觉得自己像迷路的船，也不像过山车。但我也没马车那么稳。我觉得自己就是火车。好。

But I do think my day to day emotional experience is pretty good. I don't feel like a lost ship, and I don't feel like a roller coaster. But I'm not as steady as a carriage. I do think I'm very much train. Okay.

继续。下一个问题。当你最好的朋友描述你时，他们可能会说你……天啊，我今天已经被问过这个了。我会说，在给定的选项里，我是稳定、有成就、自信。第二接近的是爱玩、充满活力、充满希望。

Moving on. Next question. When your closest friend describes you, they probably say that you're, oh my god, I've been asked this already today. I'm gonna say out of the options that they're giving me here, I'm stable, accomplished, and confident. The runner-up though would be playful, energetic, and hopeful.

但我也可能是睿智、深思熟虑、内心平静。唯一完全不像我的是狂野、爱冒险、总是随时准备玩。我确实总是准备好玩，但我也喜欢提前订晚餐、提前买票。你知道的，我不是世界上最随性的女孩。如果只是朋友描述我，我会说爱玩、充满活力、充满希望。

But also, I could see wise, contemplative, and content as well. The only one that definitely isn't me is wild, adventurous, and always up for a good time. I am always up for a good time, but I also like to make dinner reservations, buy tickets for an event ahead of time. You know, I'm not the most spontaneous girl in the world. If it was, like, just a friend describing me, I would say playful, energetic, and hopeful.

但因为这个问题说的是“你最好的朋友”，你最好的朋友会怎么描述你？我会选睿智、深思熟虑、内心平静。好，下一个。你在《危险边缘》节目上，题目类别是 TikTok 潮流。

But because this question said your closest friend, how does your closest friend describe you? I'm gonna say wise, contemplative, and content. Okay. Next. You're on Jeopardy, and the category is TikTok trends.

你准备好了吗？哦，完全没准备。我大概好几年没上 TikTok 了。对，我会说没准备好。

How ready are you? Oh, not at all. I haven't been on TikTok in, like, years. Yeah. I'm gonna say not ready.

好的。下一个问题。你在做白日梦。你在想什么？哇。

Okay. Next question. You're daydreaming. What are you thinking about? Wow.

我我早些时候也被问到这个问题，我说的是我的暗恋对象。所以我现在还是给出同样的答案，因为那就是答案。每当我有喜欢的人时，我满脑子都是那个人，特别有趣。好的。最后一个问题。

I I also got asked this question earlier, and I said my crush. So I'm gonna say the same thing again because that's the answer. Whenever I have a crush, that's all I think about, and it's so much fun. Okay. Last question.

以下哪句名言最能打动你？哇。这个测试真的跟我刚才做的那个差不多。也许是同一个人出的题。也许是同一个人设计的。

Which of the following quotes speaks to you the most? Wow. This quiz is really just similar to the last one I took. Maybe it's by the same person. Maybe the same person made it.

总之，我看出套路了。选项一：最终，重要的不是你活了多少年，而是这些年里你活得有多充实。说得对，对吧？

Anyway, I'm catching on to them. Option one, in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. That's true. Okay?

我喜欢这句。我没有痴迷，也没有惊掉下巴。你知道的，我没有激动得直打响指。但我喜欢它。

I like that. I'm not obsessed. I'm not like, my jaw isn't on the floor. You know, I'm not snapping. But I like it.

好的。选项二。如果你有勇气去尝试，生活会把人带到精彩的地方。我不太喜欢这句。虽然是真的，但没什么感觉。

Okay. Option two. Life will take you to amazing places if you have the courage to try. I don't really like that one. It's true, but it's not hitting.

选项三。充分发挥你自己，因为那就是你拥有的一切。这句让我有压力。对我来说它有点毒鸡汤的味道。好的。

Option three. Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you. That one stresses me out. That one has toxic vibes to it to me. Okay.

选项四，如果你总是做你一直在做的事，你就永远只能得到你一直在得到的结果。这是真的。我会说这些里我最喜欢的是：最终，重要的不是你活了多少年，而是这些年里你活得有多充实。好的。

Option four, if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got. That's true. I'm gonna say my favorite out of these is in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Okay.

哦，有意思。好的。我的结果是我的心理年龄是30到35岁。有趣。看吧，这很有趣，因为我想如果我50岁了，我会得到什么结果？

Oh, interesting. Okay. My result is my mental age is 30 to 35. Interesting. See, that's interesting because I wonder if I was like 50, what result would I get?

我还会是30到35岁吗？因为我的大脑几乎不再发育了。我会永远像一个30到35岁的人那样思考吗？还是说我只是现在处于这个阶段，因为也许我……你懂我的意思吗？这很耐人寻味。

Am I still gonna be 30 35? Because my brain is almost undeveloping. Am I gonna be, like, mentally a 30 35 year old forever? Or am I just that right now because perhaps I'm you know what I'm saying? It's very fascinating.

总之，它说，你比大多数同龄人都更负责任、更冷静，但你仍然知道怎么放松和找乐子。基本上，你两全其美。等等。它不知道我多大。哦，但我想30到35岁的人本身就挺成熟的。

Anyway, it says, you're more responsible and level headed than most of your peers, but you still know how to cut loose and have fun. Basically, you're the best of both worlds. Wait. It doesn't know how old I am. Oh, but I guess just 30 to 35 year olds are just kinda mature in general.

好吧，我明白它的意思了。因为你懂得平衡的重要性，你的生活很稳定，但也充满了刺激和有趣的经历。和朋友去旅行？没问题。

Okay. I see what it means. Because you understand the importance of balance, your life is stable, but also rich with exciting and fun experiences. Going traveling with friends? Check.

去市中心那家新潮餐厅试试？你绝对会去。但你总会合理时间回家，睡个好觉。照顾好自己对你很重要。你对自己很笃定，不太在乎别人怎么看你。

Trying that hip new restaurant downtown? You're in. But you're always home at a reasonable hour, so you get a good night's sleep. Taking care of yourself is important to you. You're secure in who you are and don't really care about what other people think of you.

只要你开心健康，那就够了。说实话，阿门。这还挺对的。我能说实话吗？我开始意识到这些测试真他妈准。

As long as you're happy and healthy, that's all that matters. Honestly, amen. That's kinda true. Can I be honest? I'm starting to realize these quizzes are are pretty fucking accurate.

我今天得到一堆特别 flattering 的结果后的我。如果它要是……如果我得到的是我不喜欢的结果，比如我做了个“我有趣吗”测试，它说“你一点也不有趣”，我就会说“这些测试太蠢了，结果根本不可信”。但因为结果是我喜欢的，现在我就“耶，我爱这些测试”。

Me after getting a bunch of really, like, flattering results today. If it was like if it if I got, like, results that I didn't like, like, I took the, like, am I funny quiz, and it was like, you are not funny. I'd be like, it's so silly that I took these quizzes, and that the results are are unreliable. But because I got results that I liked, now I'm like, yay. I love these quizzes.

我其实觉得它们真的……挺好的。我真心相信这些结果。总之，我今天就说这么多。谢谢你陪我一起做这些关于我自己的测试。我不知道你从中得到了什么，但我希望你能有点收获。

I actually think they're really like good. Like, I actually trust the results. Anyway, that's all I have for today. Thanks for hanging out with me while I took these quizzes about myself. Like, I don't know what you got out of that, but I hope you got something out of it.

比如，我……我希望至少你听着听着就睡着了。如果这期无聊到把你哄睡着，我也挺开心的。我希望你能从中得到点正面的东西。如果你喜欢跟我一起混，别担心，《Anything Goes》每周四和周日都有新集。

Like, I I hope at least you fell asleep while listening to this. Like, if this lulled you to sleep because it was so fucking boring, I'm happy with that. I hope you got something positive out of this. And if you enjoyed hanging out with me, have no fear. New episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday.

《Anything Goes》在 Spotify 和 YouTube 上有视频版，所以你可以看我讲话。在其他所有流媒体平台上只有音频，你就光听我说话。节目社交媒体账号是 @anythinggoes，我个人账号是 @emma chamberlain，我的咖啡公司在线上线下都有，叫 Chamberlain Coffee。我爱你们大家。

Anything Goes is on Spotify and on YouTube with video, so you can watch me talk. And on all other streaming platforms, just audio, so you can just listen to me talk. Anything Goes is on social media at anythinggoes. I'm on social media at emma chamberlain, and my coffee company is in the world and online at chamberlain coffee. I love you all.

我很感激你们。能一起聊天总是很开心。幸运的是，我们很快就能再见面，到时候再聊。我觉得我得去睡觉了，我现在感觉特别累。

I appreciate you all. It's always a joy to hang out. Luckily for both of us, we get to do it again very soon, and I'll talk to you then. I think I need to go to bed. I'm like feeling really exhausted.

做那些测试让我感觉特别疲惫。就像我当年上学，连续几个小时考期末，最后累到必须去睡觉。我现在感觉一模一样，唯一的区别是这些测试其实无关紧要，但我还是同样累成狗。

Something about taking those quizzes made me feel exhausted. I feel like how I felt when I went to school, and I would take finals for, like, hours and hours on end, and I would just be so exhausted at the end of it. I'd have to go to bed. I feel the same way, except the only difference with this is these quizzes don't matter. But I'm equally as exhausted.

真是太奇怪了。好了，先这样。回头再聊。爱你们，感谢大家。

It's so bizarre. Anyway, okay. I'll talk to you later. Love you all. Appreciate you all.

过几天再聊。爱你，再见。

Talk to you in a few days. Love you, and bye.