AE 1421 - 关于成年生活我们被灌输的最大谎言

你小时候对成年生活的想象中，最错的是哪一点？

What's the biggest thing you were completely wrong about when you imagined adulthood?

最大的错觉大概是以为到了这个年纪，我们就会知道自己该做什么，好像已经彻底搞懂了人生。

The biggest thing Probably that we would know what we're doing at this stage, like that we have somehow figured life out.

对。

Yeah.

我觉得这是对变老最大的误解。

I think that's the biggest misconception about getting older.

确实如此。

It is.

是啊。

Yeah.

挺有意思的，对吧？

It is funny, isn't it?

你越长大，越会发现，周围的人其实谁也不清楚到底在发生什么。

The more The older you get, the more you look around and you go, no one's got the foggiest idea what's going on either.

对。

Yeah.

不过话说回来，至少我们会明显感觉到自己成熟了，对自己更有信心了，在某些方面也越来越擅长。

Well, at least, like, we get obviously, you mature and you get more confident within yourself and you you get very good at certain areas.

比如你可能特别擅长自己的工作，或者至少不再像以前那样缺乏自信了。

Like, maybe you're really good at what you do or, you know, you are not as insecure anymore.

但总有一种感觉，就是我们在边做边学，而不是到了某个阶段就什么都懂了。

But there is always this feeling of, you know, we're just learning as we go rather than arriving somewhere where you just know things.

对。

Yeah.

如果这说得通的话。

If it makes sense.

是的。

Yeah.

确实如此。

It does.

没错。

It does.

大家好。

Good day, guys.

欢迎收听澳洲英语播客。

Welcome to the Aussie English podcast.

泡杯茶，放松一下，咱们聊聊。

Grab a cuppa, get comfy, and let's have a yarn.

各位好。

Good day, you mob.

欢迎回到澳洲英语播客。

Welcome back to the Aussie English podcast.

我是你们的主持人皮特，我太太凯尔也在。

I am your host, Pete, and my beautiful wife, Kel, is here.

凯尔，你最近怎么样？

How are you, Kel?

挺好。

Good.

你呢？

How are you?

我也不错。

Good.

今天我们要聊聊成年这件事，顺便也说说童年，想想年轻的时候是怎么看待成年人生活的。

Today we're going be talking about adulthood and I guess childhood as well, being young and thinking about what life is like as an adult.

加里。

Gary.

那你青少年的时候，觉得长大后生活会是什么样子？

So, what did teenage you think life would look like when you got older?

这是一类经常被提到的问题，

This is one of those things that

他们总是觉得

They just

我越长大，就越常想到这一点。

I always keep thinking about the older I get.

是的。

Yeah.

我以前总觉得，大人们都过得特别从容，生活轻松得很。

Because why I always had in my mind that everyone had it together, Life was super easy.

找份工作，钱也够花，想干嘛就干嘛。

You get a job, you've got plenty of money, you just do whatever you want.

没人管你这也不行、那也不许，自由自在的。

You know, there's no You don't have to worry about anyone telling you what you can or can't do.

想睡就睡，想几点起就几点起。

Go to bed whenever you want.

可真到了这一天，才发现，唉，真想再当回小孩。

And then you get here and you're like, oh, I just want to be a kid again.

但这也说明，你身边那些人可能特别成功，看起来特别稳重，样样都做得很好。

Well, but that is also a reflection of the people you had around you that were probably, you know, very successful, know, like, do very down to earth and doing ticking all the boxes.

所以，这就是你的参照标准。

So, that's your reference.

但对我来说，我觉得那简直太吓人了。

Because for me, it's like, I would think it was terrifying.

你说你觉得吓人，是什么意思？

What do you mean you thought it was terrifying?

我一看周围的人，就发现谁都不知道自己在干嘛。

I just looked at people around me and could already see no one knew what they were doing.

你指的是多大的年纪？

At what age are we talking?

而且，就是觉得身边的大人也没他们看起来那么稳当，你知道吧？

But also just like, you know, some sort of idea that the adults around me were not as stable as they should be, you know?

所以我觉得，这跟成长环境带来的不同视角有关。

So, that I think is just back to growing up in different sort of perspectives.

是的。

Yeah.

那你十几岁的时候，对成年生活有什么想法？

So, what did you think when you were a teenager and you were thinking about adulthood?

你觉得成年以后会是什么样子？

What did you think adulthood was going be like?

肯定比现在轻松多了。

Definitely easier than it is.

而且我当时就是觉得，我到时候自然就知道该怎么做了。

But also, it just- I just had this real feeling of I'll know what to do, you know.

所以我以为，到了那个年纪，我对很多事情都会很确定，或者要是那时候有了孩子，我根本不知道该怎么当父母。

So, I thought, you know, at this age I would be certain about things or, you know, if I had kids thinking back then, I just wouldn't know how to parent them.

这些事都会自然而然地学会的。

You know, those things will come naturally.

你想着自己会在体面的地方上班，满脑子都是梦想。

And you have, you know, you work somewhere fancy and have all these dreams.

但真到了那儿才发现，我们其实懂一些，但就像我之前说的，基本上都是边干边学。

But then you get there, it's like, we do know, but also we just Like I said before, we're just learning on the job kind of thing.

以前我跟父母或者大人吵架的时候，总觉得他们根本不懂当小孩是什么感觉。

I used to always think when I had fights with my parents or with adults, you know, and you would have that tension of they don't know what it's like being a kid.

但他们也曾经是小孩啊，按理说应该能懂才对。

But also, they used to be kids and they should know what it's like, you know.

不管他们现在三十、四十、五十甚至六十岁，当年也都是孩子啊。

Even if they are 30, 40, 50, 60 years old, they were once kids like.

是的。

Yeah.

可反过来，也没人真能理解我，因为我是这样的……

But at the same time, no one understands me because I'm, you know

你的情况特别独特，你的烦恼也只有你自己才最清楚。

You're so unique and your issues are so unique to you.

现在轮到我这个年纪了，才发现，天啊，我根本记不清当小孩是什么感觉了。

And now I'm in that age where I'm like, fuck, I can't remember what it's like being a kid.

所以经常我会对孩子们发火，嫌他们太吵、闹腾、坐不住，满屋子乱跑。

So, quite often, I find myself getting angry with our kids, you know, about being too loud, making too much noise, never sitting still, running around like crazy.

然后我就得提醒自己，小时候我也特别喜欢这样。

And then I have to remember that that's exactly what I always like as a kid.

不过每次看他们的时候，我总会有一种感觉——不是回忆，而是好像能体会到他们的心情。

I do, though, get a feeling when I look at them, like, not a memory, but their feeling of I sort of know what you're feeling.

对。

Yeah.

就是他们玩得特别开心、吵吵闹闹的时候。

You know, when they just play and being loud.

是啊。

Yeah.

你看着他们，虽然记不清自己小时候是什么感觉了，但你就是能感觉到，这些孩子太小了，根本什么都不懂。

It is easy just to look at them and be like, even though we don't remember what it felt like, but you're like, these kids are so young that you sort of get a sense of they have no idea.

是啊。

Yeah.

于是你就仿佛又看到了当年的自己。

So you see yourself being that that age again kind of thing.

我经常在诺亚身上看到这一点，因为他跟我更像。

I see that a lot with Noah because he's more similar to me.

而且我真的有这种感觉。

And I just Yeah.

这让我想起，我完全明白你为什么这么沮丧。

It takes me back to like, I know exactly why you are frustrated.

是的。

Yeah.

但你知道，我还是要管教你。

But, you know, I still have to parent you.

对。

Yeah.

这真是挺有意思的事。

It's an interesting thing.

我想，就是你现在和四五岁、六七岁时的差距太大了，尽管你已经走过那段时光

I guess it's just, yeah, the distance between you now and when you were four, five, six, seven years old is so great that even though you passed through it

而且变化真的太大了。

And it just changed so much.

跟你那时候完全不像一个人了。

Like, nowhere near as who you were when you were that age.

是的。

Yeah.

你知道的，人就是会不断成长，然后

You know, you just evolve and

我最近在做什么来着？

What was I doing recently?

我坐在车里，诺亚一直在那儿叽叽喳喳地说个不停，

I was sitting in the car and Noah was making all these like

这简直简直让人抓狂，

Which is literally goddamn

老兄。

it, dude.

你能不能闭嘴啊？

Will you just shut up?

其实我没说出口，但我心里一直在想，你能不能安静点别动？

Like, I wasn't saying that, but I was thinking the whole time, like, can't you just sit still and be quiet?

你就不能消停会儿吗？

Can't you just chill out?

但后来我回到家，上网的时候我就想，你说得对。

But then when I went home and I was, you know, got online and was like, you know what?

我想知道孩子为什么会有那种行为。

I want to know why children do that.

我记不清当时是用 ChatGPT 还是 Google 查的，但结果大致解释了孩子为什么不能乖乖坐着不动。

And I can't remember if it was ChatGippity or Google or what it was, but it was effectively explaining that here's why children don't just sit still.

也解释了为什么他们总是吵吵闹闹的。

Here's why they make so much noise.

因为他们的大脑还在发育和学习中，他们需要学习如何控制自己的声音，以及如何控制肢体动作。

Their brains are still growing and learning and, know, they're learning to control their voice, they're learning to control their movements.

所以，就是自我调节。

So, like regulating.

对。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

而且他们还在慢慢适应这个过程。

Well, and they're just getting used to it.

而我们成年人，已经这么做了三四十甚至五十年了。

Whereas for adults, we've done it for thirty, forty, fifty years.

所以你不会再像小时候那样，玩声音、制造噪音、唱歌、尝试各种动作和声响，但我们的孩子却满屋子跑来跑去。

And so, you're not there playing with sounds and making noise and singing and experimenting with movement and noise, you know, whereas our kids will be just running around

而你

and you

就只是

just like

随机唱唱歌，跟着节奏，还有那些小故事。

Random songs and like rhythm and just like little stories.

有时候我们走过，他们就说：‘我刚刚就在想这个。’

Sometimes we walk past and they're like, I was just like I know.

今天我休息的时候，玩了会儿我的世界。

Oh, today I was had a break and I was playing a bit of Minecraft.

我孩子把我拉进了这个游戏。

My kids got me sucked into it.

我就想，好吧，就玩十分钟放松一下。

So, I was just like, you know, I'm gonna have ten minutes of just playing.

结果诺亚一进房间，我立马心想：‘糟了。’

And then Noah walks into the room and I'm just like, oh, shit.

不是因为我讨厌他进来，而是他一来就说：‘我也要玩。’

Not because I don't want him to be there, but as soon as he comes in, he's like, I want to play.

他非得接手不可。

I want to take over.

我就想安安静静玩十分钟放松一下。

I want And I'm like, just wanted 10 to just chill.

他却说，别担心，爸爸。

And he's like, don't worry, dad.

我就静静看着就行。

I'm just gonna watch quietly.

我心想，哦，行吧。

And I was like, oh, okay.

好，孩子。

Okay, buddy.

结果他立马就说，爸爸，别那样干。

And then straight away, oh, don't don't do that, dad.

爸爸，小心那个。

Oh, watch out for that, dad.

爸爸，你刚才那一下不对。

Don't Oh, dad, you did that.

你就别玩了。

And I'm like, you just play no.

你就别玩了。

You just play no.

不玩。

No.

这孩子就是想觉得自己也参与进来了。

The poor thing, he wants to feel like he's part of it.

他是在帮你呢。

He's helping you.

我知道。

I know.

但我有时候真受不了，因为有一次我被僵尸吃了，他就说：这种事不可能发生在我身上。

But it drives me nuts sometimes because then what happened, he- I got eaten by a zombie or whatever it is in there, and he was just like, that wouldn't happen to me.

我就说：我不玩了。

And I'm like, I'm out.

别这样啊。

Oh, don't do that.

我感觉自己被六岁的孩子评判了。

I'm just like I feel judged judged by my six year olds.

真可怜。

Poor thing.

他就是特别想觉得自己在帮上忙。

He's so like he wants to feel like he's helping you.

是的。

Yeah.

他觉得能帮你推进游戏什么的，哪怕一点点也好。

You know, that he could like, contributed to you advancing in the game or whatever.

对啊。

Yeah.

我对《我的世界》一点兴趣都没有，但他还是会每次兴冲冲地跑来找我。

I have no interest in Minecraft, but he'd still be, like, come to me every time, like, so excited about this thing

是的。

Yeah.

他建的或者不管怎么学会的那些东西。

That he built or whatever that he found out how to do.

对。

Mhmm.

所以你能想象我有多没感觉吧，因为我根本不懂这游戏。

So you can imagine how I feel because I have no connection to this game.

至少你懂自己懂的东西，对吧？

At least you know what you know?

你小的时候，觉得多大年纪就算老了？

When you were young, what age felt old?

哦，这问题问得好。

Oh, that's a good question.

你是说，什么时候你开始觉得自己在变老？

What do you mean, like, When I started feeling that I was getting older?

是的。

Yeah.

我不确定。

I don't know.

你小时候，比如像诺亚那么大或者十几岁的时候，觉得多大年纪就算老了？

When you were thinking about adults as a kid, whether you're, you know, Noah's age or a teenager, what was old?

三十多岁。

Thirties.

三十多岁的人。

People in their thirties.

因为我记得我妈三十岁的时候，我就觉得大人们都特别成熟了。

Because my mom was only 30 when I remember being like, you know, people were off thinking.

对。

Yep.

但三十岁真的算老了。

But a 30 was old.

还有那些人啊。

And people yeah.

我们都说千禧一代改变了人们对‘老’的看法，因为现在四十岁的人根本不算老。

Like, we say millennials changed the way old looks because, you know, someone for a 40 today, that's a little old at all.

你只是觉得更年轻了。

Like, you just Less

少晒太阳，或者多用防晒霜。

sun exposure or sunscreen.

所以我觉得，嗯，三十岁左右大概就是界限吧。

So I just think, yeah, that's probably 30, I would say.

哎呀，你都这么老了。

Oh, you're so old.

是啊。

Yeah.

我得去把猫放出去了，我们办公室里有只猫，它现在疯了一样到处乱跑。

You get- I'm going to get you to let the cat out because we've got a cat in here in my office and she's just going nuts, running around like a psycho.

她开始闹腾了。

She's getting frisky.

她想把门完全关上，甚至更严实点。

She wants to just shut it completely or more.

所以她就在门这儿。

So, she's got the door here.

我正劝她把门关上。

I'm just getting her to shut it.

好了。

Alright.

所以，对我来说，我也说不准。

So, yeah, for me, I don't know.

我记得那时候，挺有意思的。

I felt like I remember being a- It was funny.

你上七年级的时候，会觉得十二年级的人简直就像大人一样。

You would be like year seven at school and you would think, the people in year 12, they're like adults.

哦。

Oh.

他们十七八岁了，你一看，哇，真大啊。

They're like 17, 18 years old and you're like, look, it's so big.

我记得我十三四岁上高中的时候，心想天哪。

I remember being like 13 or 14 at high school and just thinking, oh, my god.

那感觉像是隔了整整一辈子。

That's like a lifetime away.

哦，天哪。

Oh, no.

你懂的。

You know?

时间过得真快。

It just goes so fast.

等你真到了那儿，就会说：天啊。

Then you get there and you're like, oh, man.

是的

Yeah.

而且特别有意思的是，我觉得这种感觉会贯穿整个人生。

And it's so funny because I think that that feeling keeps happening throughout life.

我们可能不再有同样的反应，但每当达到某个年龄节点时，这种感觉总会重现。

We just don't have the same sort of reaction, but it keeps happening where you get to a milestone, whatever, with regards to age.

然后你到了那儿，就会觉得，唉，也没啥特别的。

And you're just like, Oh, that wasn't exciting at all.

你懂的？

You know?

就是觉得特别失望，因为你根本到不了任何地方。

It's just like, What a let down, because you don't arrive anywhere.

是的

Yeah.

你懂的？

You know?

你就慢慢变成了另一个版本的自己。

You just like become somewhat a different version of who you already were.

是的。

Yeah.

这么说你能明白吧。

If it makes sense.

对，对，对。

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

我小时候看过电视剧《老友记》。

I remember watching the TV show Friends when I was young.

那部剧从九十年代播到两千年初，凯尔特别不喜欢。

It used to be on TV from the nineties until the early two thousands, and Kel hates it.

但我家人特别爱看，所以我一直都在看。

But my family loved it, so I was always watching it.

我其实也挺喜欢的。

And I did like it.

但我记得，年轻的时候有个关键时刻，大概是剧集快结束的时候，所有角色——我觉得演员们也是——都开始满三十岁了。

But I remember there was a key moment when I was younger, and I think towards the end of the series, all the characters, I assume the actors as well, but the characters started turning 30.

那时候我心想：天啊，真要命。

And I remember that being like a, oh, fuck.

这可是人生的一半啊。

That's like halfway through your life.

我的天，你想想，这都算老了。

Like, damn, you know, that's old.

一半老了。

Half Old.

现在我到了三十岁，就想起那时候的感觉。

And now I remember getting to 30 and thinking about that.

真的吗？

Really?

当时我就想：完了，我真越过山顶了。

And being like, oh, damn, I'm over the hill.

而且我心里一直觉得他们比我大好多，结果我自己也三十了，感觉自己像个冒牌货。

And also thinking like, I thought they were so much older in my mind and now I'm 30 and I'm like, I feel like a fraud.

对。

Yeah.

没错。

Yeah.

我总以为到了三十岁就该有房有车、有孩子，事业家庭都步入正轨，有一份正经工作。

Don't feel like I'm, you know- I thought by 30 you had a house, you had kids, you had it all together, you had a proper job.

那时候我博士快毕业了，有工作，没孩子，也没女朋友。

And I was like finishing my PhD with job, no kids, no girlfriend.

而且我兜里根本没钱。

And I was just like, no savings.

一无所有。

Nothing.

对。

Yep.

你有没有想过，现在的自己会比现在更富有？

Did you think you'd be richer than you currently are?

你其实挺有钱的。

You are pretty rich

我是挺有钱的。

I am

因为我老婆。

being my wife.

你啊，

You're

富得流油。

loaded.

可是一点钱都没有。

Absolutely no money at all.

没有。

No.

我不确定。

I don't know.

我以前觉得，能在个高档地方上班特别了不起。

I thought it would be working somewhere fancy was always a big thing.

对。

Mhmm.

我不是说那种表面的高档，我是指做点有分量的事。

Like, not when I say fancy, what I mean is, like, doing something important.

受人尊敬。

Respected.

受人尊敬。

Respected.

是的。

Yeah.

所以我也不太清楚。

So I because I don't know.

也许是因为文化之类的因素，很多人把自己的身份和职业紧密联系在一起。

Maybe the culture or whatever, there's a lot of identity tied to what you do for a living.

在巴西就是这样。

In Brazil.

是的。

Yeah.

所以我以为我会做一份非常重要工作。

So, I thought I would be doing something, you know, very important.

但不是为了赚钱。

But not rich.

对。

No.

没错。

Yep.

在这方面，我其实挺现实的。

I was very realistic in that aspect.

你希望变得富有吗？

Did you want to be rich?

那是你追求的目标吗？还是说百分之百想这样？

Was that something you aspired to be or is it something A 100%.

是的。

Yeah.

一直都想。

Always.

我觉得巴西人可能更低调一些，觉得没必要非得那样。

I don't think like maybe Brazilians are much more modest and sort of like, nah, they need that,

我们其实也很看重钱。

you We do like money.

这一点上，我们这边也一样。

Is that Well, it's the same for us.

谁都想发财，毕竟在心里觉得有钱生活会轻松得多。

Everyone wants to be rich, you know, because it make You think in your mind it makes life easier.

我想随着年纪增长，也许到了二十出头的时候，我会觉得，哦，钱自然会来的。

I guess as I got older, maybe maybe even, like, early twenties, would think, oh, it'll just happen.

我只要有钱就行了。

I would just get money.

对。

Mhmm.

你懂的？

You know?

直接从树上摘的吗？

Just off a tree?

随着年纪增长，我越来越清楚地意识到，这些事情非常困难，而且很少发生。

It just became so clear as I got older that these things are very hard and rarely happen.

你懂吧？

You know?

对。

Mhmm.

你不可能中彩票的。

You're not gonna win the lottery.

你真正意识到生命有多短暂，而这就是你的现实几率。

It's just a very real sense of how short life is, but also these are your odds.

你懂的。

You know?

改变人生的事几乎不会发生，你知道的。

It's very rare that a life changing thing will happen, like, you know Mhmm.

你最后赚到的，也就那么点钱。

You're gonna get Well, you did of dollars.

你娶了个澳大利亚人，算是撞大运了。

You did kind of strike gold by marrying

收入还行。

a fair income

澳大利亚老哥。

Aussie bloke.

你知道吧。

You know?

天哪。

Jesus.

那有什么不对吗？

What's wrong what's wrong with that?

这没错。

That's true.

你看耶稣。

Look at Jesus.

那你是在什么时候意识到，一切都没你以前想的那样了？

So, what may What moment did you realise, you know, that everything wasn't as you thought it once was?

没什么是真实的了。

That nothing was gonna be true.

幕布被掀开了，然后

The curtain was pulled back and

有了孩子之后，我才真正意识到很多事情。

you have saw been really eye opening in also having kids.

但确实有个瞬间，让我一下子清醒了。

But there was a, you know, a real sort of reality drop.

你能再说一遍吗？

Can you say that?

收到。

Check.

随你吧。

Whatever.

现实一点吧。

Reality check.

是的。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

哦，原来如此。

Of like, oh, okay.

现在我快四十了，比三十岁的时候更接近四十。

So, you know, closer to my forties now than I am till my thirties.

别提了。

Tell me about it.

就在眼前了。

It's around the corner.

哦，明白了。

And it's like, oh, okay.

嗯，知道了。

Okay.

这不会永远持续下去。

It's not forever.

我没多少时间了。

I don't have a lot of time.

你懂的吧。

You know?

对。

Yeah.

这真让人害怕。

It's it's scary.

也许这就是人们说的中年危机吧。

Maybe that's what people say it's a meat life crisis.

我也这么觉得。

I think so.

因为我不觉得这种危机是负面的意思。

Because it and I don't see, like, crisis in a bad way.

我觉得这是因为你会突然意识到，很多事情其实都是短暂的，你知道的。

I also think it's like you just become so aware of how temporary things are in you know?

嗯，

Well,

这种感觉会推动你下定决心，比如现在我要开始锻炼了，或者像别人说的，你是在逃避什么的。

and And that's that's the sort of momentum for you to, okay, now I'm gonna take up exercising or, you It's a real people say, oh, you're trying to deny or whatever.

但我认为，这其实是因为我们一路走来，从年轻时到中年，经历了太多变化，突然就意识到：就这样了。

But I think it's more like we know we've been through so many changes from, you know, young adults, adults in our middle age that you're just like, that is That's it.

我们并没有那么多无限的时间，你知道的。

There's no We don't have a lot of infinite time, you know?

确实如此。

It's true.

说实话，你得明白，我不会再有新的关系了。

I mean, being candid about it, you have to realise, you know, this is- I'm not going to have other relationships.

我可能也不会发财。

I may not get rich.

我可能也不会走遍世界。

I may not travel the world.

我觉得所谓的中年危机，其实是因为太盯着那些错过的東西，就像总看杯子是半空的，而不是半满的。

And I think that's the whole- If the midlife crisis thing comes from focusing too much on the things you are missing out on, you know, it's having that the glass is half empty look instead of the glass is half full.

是的。

Yes.

与其想着我没法和别人建立关系，不如看看我正拥有一段长久而深厚的关系。

As opposed to instead of thinking, well, I'm not going to, you know, have a relationship with other people, but I am having this strong relationship with a single person that's going to last a very long time.

我有孩子。

I am having children.

我也有稳定的职业。

I do have a solid career.

很多人可没有呢。

Many people don't, you know.

对。

Yeah.

还要想想那些你已经实现的目标，比如说，对啊。

It's also thinking the boxes you did check, you know, like, oh, yeah.

我有孩子，你知道的。

I have kids, you know.

我确实这么做了。

I did that.

对。

Mhmm.

娶了个澳大利亚人。

Married an Australian.

然后就是，哦，对啊。

And just oh, yeah.

就是会慢慢从更现实的角度来看，也许随着年纪增长，你确实会变得有点愤世嫉俗，不再那么理想主义了。

Just becomes this thing of really looking at it from a very realistic perspective of maybe you do become a little bit sour as you get older and less of a dreamer.

就像你二十多岁的时候，什么都有。

Like, as, you know, in your twenties, you have all this.

但关键是——从某种角度说，这反而是好事，因为你意识到，时间是有限的。

But it's just- It's a good thing in a sense because you're like, okay, this is limited amount of time.

我想好好利用它。

I want to use it wisely.

我觉得当了父母之后，往往就会这样，因为你不再把自我放在第一位了。

I think, though, that happens as a parent, right, because you stop thinking about yourself first.

其实谈恋爱的时候也会出现这种情况。

I mean, it happens in a relationship, too.

就拿我来说，做澳洲英语这个生意，我本来可以花更多时间去拓展、多赚钱、追求更大的成功，诸如此类的。

But I mean, you stop thinking about, you know, like for me with Aussie English working on this business, it's sort of like I could spend- I could try and spend way more time growing it, making more money, getting more success, you know, blah, blah, blah.

但我更愿意把空闲时间尽量多花在孩子和家人身上，虽然其实也没做到最好。

But I'm like, I really enjoy spending as much of my spare time as I can with my kids and my family, you know, which isn't necessarily as much as it could be.

但我认识的很多父母，连接送孩子上学都抽不出时间。

But if- There are plenty of other parents that I know that they're never there for drop offs at school or for pickups.

他们几乎从不在家陪孩子。

They're never there at home with their kids all the time.

我在这儿工作，就得不断挤时间出来陪他们。

And I work here, so I have to constantly be trying to make time.

如果真想，我当然可以更拼工作，但仔细想想，那又能给我带来什么呢？

And I could lean more into work if I really wanted, but it's kind of like, what do I actually get out of that?