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嘿。
Hey.
我们将在加利福尼亚州的林肯市。
We're gonna be in Lincoln, California.
那基本上就是萨克拉门托。
That's basically Sacramento.
林肯。
Lincoln.
亚伯拉罕·林肯并不是那里的人，但那基本上就是萨克拉门托。
Abraham Lincoln is not from there, but that is basically Sacramento.
3月14日，我们将在桑德瓦利赌场演出。
On March 14, we'll be there at the Thunder Valley Casino.
然后是5月8日，就在我们的家乡洛杉矶。
Then May 8, right here in Los Angeles, our hometown.
我们正在参加Netflix喜剧节。
We're at the the the the the the the Netflix comedy festival.
他明白了。
He got it.
Netflix在YouTube剧院里就是个笑话。
Netflix is a joke at the YouTube theater.
去badfriendspod.com买票。
Go to badfriendspod.com for those tickets.
就是badfriendspod.com。
That's badfriendspod.com.
喜剧，最后的边疆。
Comedy, The Last Frontier.
这是不良朋友号星舰的航行。
These are the voyages of the starship Bad Friends.
它的任务是探索奇异的新段子，寻找怪人、疯狂的故事和糟糕的决定，并勇敢地前往任何理智的播客HR部门或法务团队从未踏足过的地方。
Its mission to explore strange new bits, to seek out weirdos, wild stories, and bad decisions, and to boldly go where no sane podcast HR department or legal team has gone before.
你们俩真是坏朋友。
You two are bad friends.
这两个傻子是谁？
Who are these two idiots?
一个白人小伙和一个亚裔小伙。
White dude and an Asian dude.
你们两个真恶心。
You two are disgusting.
嗯，你们两个还真是特别。
Well, you two are something.
我们是坏朋友。
We're bad friends.
哇哦。
Woah.
别这样。
Don't.
我的方向对吗？
Is mine facing the right way?
是的
Yeah.
是的
It is.
你为什么化妆？
Why do you have makeup on?
因为我之后要出去。
Because I'm going out after.
那她要去打保龄球吗？
Well, you is she gonna go bowling?
她要去打保龄球。
She's going bowling.
等等。
Wait.
谁和你一起去打保龄球？
Who are going bowling with?
她的朋友。
Her friend.
还有一些朋友。
And some friends.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
你要出去约会吗？
You going out on a date?
不。
No.
只是朋友。
Just friends.
你要出去约会吗？
You're going out on a date?
不。
No.
是的。
Yeah.
你坐立不安。
You're fidgety.
我知道你要去约会。
I know you're going out on a date.
不。
No.
那 guy 是谁？
Who's the guy?
没人。
No one.
欢迎回到《坏朋友》。
Welcome back to Bad Friends.
她喜欢的那个在夏威夷。
The one that she likes is in Hawaii.
天哪
Oh my
对吧？
Right?
你喜欢的那个在夏威夷。
The one that you like is in Hawaii.
不是。
No.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
而且她
And she
她有。
has it.
没有夏威夷。
Without Hawaii.
是的。
Yeah.
停下。
Stop.
什么？
What?
妈妈。
Mom.
你暗恋她。
You have a crush on her.
我就说这么多。
That's all I'm saying.
鲁迪。
Rudy.
鲁迪。
Rudy.
夏威夷和鲁迪。
Hawaii and Rudy.
你和我想的完全不在一个频道上，伙计。
You're on a different wavelength than I am, dude.
我不确定我能不能做到。
I I don't know if I could do it.
你让我有点招架不住了。
You're overwhelming me.
欢迎回到《坏朋友》。
Welcome back to Bad Friends.
是的。
Yes.
我是个费伦吉人，而这个是红衣象人。
I'm a Ferengi, and this one is a cardinal Mummothian.
那些大型战利品的狄利西姆晶体在哪？
Where are the dilithium crystals with big war prize?
它们，在鲁迪那？
They, Rudy?
它们在哪？
Where are they?
鲁迪。
Rudy.
我不知道。
I don't know.
你的男朋友们在哪？
Where are your boyfriends?
你的BBC男朋友们在哪？
Where are your BBC boyfriends?
欢迎
Welcome
回到《坏朋友》。
back to Bad Friends.
这是我们第六周年纪念。
It's our sixth year anniversary.
你
You
想进我的黑洞吗？
wanna go inside my black hole?
欢迎来到我的黑洞。
Welcome to my black hole.
欢迎。
Welcome.
那里有粪便。
There's poo in there.
老兄，我们已经做了六年这个有趣的节目，给大家带来欢乐。
Dude, six years we've been doing this fun show and bringing you guys fun.
星球大战，宝贝。
Star wars, bitch.
星球大战，宝贝。
Star wars, bitch.
别这么做。
Don't do it.
我是达斯。
It's I'm Darth.
我是达斯。
I'm Darth.
真是个棒极了的夜晚。
What a night to have.
这是《星际迷航》的六周年纪念。
It's a Star Trek six year anniversary.
我们这里有鲁迪·朱尔斯。
We've got Rudy Jules over here.
把我传下去，伙计。
Beam me down, dog.
是的。
Yeah.
就在那儿。
There it is.
没错，太棒了。
Hell yeah.
是啊，老兄。
Yeah, dude.
这个惊人的变化。
The variation of the shocker.
是的。
Yeah.
我拿到了。
I got it.
他拿到了。
He's got it.
你看到坏兔子了吗？
Do you see Bad Bunny or what?
爱 Woah。
Love Woah.
Woah。
Woah.
吉娜说了什么？
What did Ginger say?
你看到坏兔子了吗？
Did you see Bad Bunny?
我看到坏兔子了。
I saw Bad Bunny.
你知道吗？
You know what?
你
You
至少得唱一首他的歌。
better sing at least one song from him.
表演太棒了。
Such a good performance.
我看到了转折点。
I saw turning point.
看到了。
Did.
太棒了。
It was great.
我当时在真实社交平台上，宝贝。
I was on true social, baby.
就是你，你知道吗？
It was you you know what?
凯文·史派西表演了一段小节目。
Kevin Spacey did a little number.
他穿了一套燕尾服。
He wore a tuxedo.
他跳了一段小舞。
He did a little dance.
他戴了一顶高顶帽。
He had a he had a top hat.
你知道吗？还有呢？
You know what else?
约翰·沃伊特表演了《午夜牛郎》中的一幕。
John Voigt did a scene from midnight cowboy.
哇哦。
Woah.
是的。
Yeah.
太棒了。
It was great.
那太酷了。
That was awesome.
太棒了，老兄。
It was awesome, dude.
是的。
Yeah.
嗯，
Well
我看到了一个转折点。
I saw a turning point.
当许多美国人正在观看巴德·邦尼毁掉中场秀时，鲍比和我却在关注转折点，想看什么？
While a lot of Americans were watching Bad Bunny ruin the halftime show, Bobby and I were tuned into Turning Point to see what?
基德·洛克和点燃舞台。
Kid Rock and rock the stage.
是的。
Yeah.
美国，最近怎么样？
What's up, America?
是的。
Yeah.
厌倦了这些自由派混蛋吗？
Sick of these liberal turds?
是的。
Yeah.
还有那位在《美国偶像》中获得第八名的女士，她也很棒。
And that lady that took eighth in American Idol, she was great too.
她很棒。
She was great.
老兄，Bad Bunny太棒了。
Dude, Bad Bunny ripped.
他太棒了，老兄。
He ripped, dude.
太热了。
It's so hot.
他真是
He's so
他是个帅哥。
He's a hot guy.
他是个帅哥。
He's a hot guy.
只是走在
Just walking through
他也是个好演员。
the He's a good actor too.
你知道我最喜欢关于巴德·邦尼这件事的哪一点吗？
You know my favorite thing about the Bad Bunny thing?
哪一点？
What?
那让我笑死了？
That made me laugh?
他们在背景里设了一个小市场，像个便利店，上面写着：我们接受食品援助券。
At the they had a marketplace, like a little convenience store in the background, it said, we accept EBT.
我当时就想，这太搞笑了。
I was like, that's so funny.
是的。
Yeah.
那牌子还是霓虹灯的。
It was in neon.
你没看到吗？
Did you not see that?
太好笑了。
It was so funny.
在辣妹中场秀居然接受EBT支付。
EBT accepted at the Bad Bunny halftime show.
超级碗是我这辈子看过的最糟糕的超级碗之一。
Super Bowl was one of the worst Super Bowls I think I've ever seen in my entire life.
我都不知道是哪两支队伍比赛。
I didn't know who played it.
谁赢了？
Who won?
没人赢。
Nobody.
没人赢。
Nobody won.
所有人都输了。
Everyone lost.
不。
No.
赢了？
Won?
海鹰队。
Seahawks.
谁赢了？
Who won?
西雅图确实赢了。
Seattle did win.
真的吗？
They did?
是的。
Yeah.
嗯，那就好。
Well, good.
恭喜西雅图。
Congratulations to Seattle.
谁在乎？
Who cares?
我不在乎。
I don't care.
真是个烂超级碗。
Shitty Super Bowl.
是的。
Yeah.
太无聊了。
It was boring.
我现在更感兴趣的是
What I'm more interested in right now
是的。
Yeah.
我对自己昨晚狠狠地坑了你这件事感到很糟糕。
Is how bad I feel about last night I boned you.
我坑你坑得特别狠。
I boned you bad.
我把他坑得挺到位。
I boned him good.
我感觉很不好。
I feel bad.
他把我给坑了。
He fucked me.
嗯，我感觉
Well, I feel
好吧。
Okay.
这里我能说吗？
Here can I tell?
是的。
Yeah.
说吧。
Go ahead.
不。
No.
我们去了《无论如何》这部新动画电影的首映式，我和鲍比在片中为查克和拉斯特这两个角色配音。
We went to the premiere of Anyway our new animated movie that Bobby and I play the announcers, Chuck and Rusty.
请去看《GOAT》吧。
Please go see GOAT.
它将于2月13日上映。
It's out February 13.
没错。
Yep.
我觉得。
I think.
是的
Yeah.
两天前。
Two days ago.
两天前。
Two days ago.
两天前。
Two days ago.
两天前。
Two days ago.
它还在影院上映。
It's out in the theater still.
请去看吧。
Please go see it.
是的
Yeah.
你看完了。
You finished it.
对吧？
Right?
是的。
Yeah.
你看到一半就回家了。
You went home halfway through.
他们甚至没让我们坐在一起。
They didn't even sit us in the same theater.
这让我很生气。
That's what pissed me off.
我一个人。
I was alone.
对吧？
Right?
坐在那里，手里拿着一大袋爆米花。
Sitting there with big bag of popcorn.
所有的名人离我都好远。
All the celebrities are, like, far away from me.
你们本可以带我们的。
You guys could have taken us.
你们两个人都有额外的票，本可以带我们的。
You guys both have plus ones, and you could have taken us.
哦，当时人太多了，是的。
Oh, we there was so many yeah.
我们本来可以不的。
We could've no.
我们不可能带得下。
We couldn't have.
我们太吵了。
We're so loud.
太吵了。
So loud.
太
So
你喜欢吗？
Did you like it?
我太喜欢了。
I loved it.
我也很喜欢。
I loved it too.
我觉得简直太棒了。
I actually thought it was awesome.
是的。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
但之后我给你打了电话。
But I called you afterwards.
你的声音先出来了。
Your you your voice came out first.
你记得吗？
Do you remember?
你什么意思？
What do you mean?
电影一开始，我就在背景里听到了你的声音，在
In the beginning of the movie, I could hear your voice in the background of In the
很远的背景里。
far background.
很远的背景里？
In the far background?
是的。
Yeah.
我当时就想，那是安德鲁。
And it was I was like, there's Andrew.
但你得到的掌声最大吗？
But you got the biggest pops?
没有。
No.
我没有。
I didn't.
在派对后，其中一个小伙子的儿子跟我说，因为我们有朋友带孩子来了，我就问：你喜欢这部电影吗？
And one of the guy's son said to me at the after party, because we have friends that have kids that showed up, and I was like, did you like the movie?
他说，是的。
And he goes, yeah.
我又问：你喜欢解说员吗？
And I said, did you like the announcers?
他说，是的。
He goes, yeah.
我说，你更喜欢哪一个？
And I said, Which one did you like more?
你喜欢大的还是小的？
Did you like the big one or the little one?
他说，我喜欢小的。
And he goes, I like the little one.
我说，啊，真好。
And I said, Aw, that's good.
真好。
That's good.
真好。
That's good.
因为他演的是那个小小的角色。
Because he plays the little tiny one.
你太厉害了。
You ripped.
说实话，这部电影可爱、温馨又搞笑。
Honestly, it's cute and sweet and funny.
我希望人们都去看。
I hope people go see it.
这是一部有趣的动画电影。
It's a fun animated movie.
带上你的
Bring your
他坑我的方式是，然后周六晚上
So the way he fucked me was, so then Saturday night
等等，暂停一下。
Well, time out.
首先，那天晚上看完电影后，我们本来要去参加一个小型的后续聚会。
First of all, that night after the movie, we were supposed to go to a little after get together.
尼克·克罗尔，还有电影里的所有这些人都会去。
Nick Kroll, all these people that are in the movie go.
我给他打电话。
I call him.
我说，你在哪儿？
I say, where are you?
你迷路了吗？
Are you lost?
不知道去哪儿？
Do not know where to go?
就在同一个小区里。
It's literally in the same complex.
我已经到家了。
I'm already at home.
我躺在床上。
I'm in bed.
是的。
Yeah.
我那时候已经上床了。
I was already in bed.
他在电影看到一半的时候就走了。
He bailed halfway through the movie.
我一个人待着。
I was alone.
其中一个
One of
在那里工作的其中一个女人说，你朋友走了。
the women working there goes, your friend left.
我说，他去哪儿了？
I said, where did he go?
她说，我想是回家了。
She goes, I think home.
他上了自己的车，然后离开了。
He got he got in his driver car, and he left.
是的。
Yeah.
但后来我们被告知第二天晚上是个杀青派对，但实际上是个放映会。
But then we were told the next night was like a wrap party, but it was a screening.
不是。
No.
根本不是。
It wasn't.
白天的时候是。
During the day was.
我知道。
I know.
但他跟我说的是这个。
But this is what he says to me.
这个骗子。
This lying bastard.
好吧？
Okay?
但这不是谎言。
Well, it's not a lie.
这是我被告知的。
It's what I was told.
这是我被告知的。
It's what I was told.
他们一整天都是放映会，别来了。
They were like screenings all day, and don't come.
打屁股。
Spank.
我的男孩Spank。
My boy Spank.
致敬Spank。
Shout out to Spank.
Spank说，不需要去。
Spank goes, don't need to go.
这是一场放映会。
It's a screening.
不管怎样，我接到电话，说车会在早上6点15分来接你。
Anyway, I get a call going, you know, a car's picking you up at 06:15.
我问，我们要去哪儿？
I go, where are we going?
他说，你要去收尾派对，所以我打算去。
He goes, you're go to the wrap party, so I'm gonna go.
对吧？
Right?
然后车就到了。
And then right the car arrives.
我正在和安德鲁说话。
I'm talking to Andrew.
安德鲁说，这不是杀青派对，伙计。
Andrew goes, it's not a wrap party, dude.
这只是另一场放映。
It's another screening.
对吧？
Right?
于是我走到司机那儿，给了他一些钱。
So I went up to the driver, and I gave him some money.
我对他说，你知道吗？
I go, you know what?
你可以回家了。
You can go home.
我不想再去参加另一场放映了。
I don't wanna go to another screening.
他走了，大约三十分钟后，他又给我打了个电话，天哪。
He leaves, and then, like, thirty minutes later, he calls me back, oh, no.
这确实是个杀青派对。
It is a wrap party.
我当时就想，我走了。
And I'm like, I'm gone.
抱歉。
Sorry.
他走了。
He's gone.
我没去。
I didn't go.
是的。
Yeah.
我待在家里。
I stayed at home.
我看了《Pluribus》。
I watched Pluribus.
展开剩余字幕（还有 480 条）
你看过那个剧吗？
Have you seen that show?
我还没看完。
I haven't finished it.
我看完了。
I finished it.
哦，老兄。
Oh, bro.
太棒了。
It's great.
我喜欢这个结局。
I like the ending.
哇。
Wow.
很不错。
It's good.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
不。
No.
但是鲍比给了那个人200美元，让他离开了。
But I but Bobby goes, gave that guy $200, and he I made him leave.
我当时就想，哇。
I was like, wow.
你根本不想去收工派对，因为那里就是一群喝醉的人站着闲逛。
You don't wanna go to a wrap party anyway because it's just a bunch of drunk people standing around.
我想去的。
I wanted to go.
你应该去的。
Should've gone.
我让你去的。
I told you to go.
老兄，你坑了我。
Dude, you fucked me.
你在说什么？
What are you talking about?
你可以打电话给你的经理，问能不能再派一辆车。
You could've called your manager and said, can I get another car?
他们本来会派车给你的。
And they would've sent you.
是的。
Yeah.
我还没到。
I'm not yet.
不。
No.
看到了吧？
See?
没有。
Nope.
我来告诉你为什么。
I'll tell you why.
本来可以修好的。
It could've been fixed.
不是的，它修不好。
It's not it it can't be fixed.
对吧？
Right?
因为那些司机是专门的，他们知道该怎么做。
Because those drivers were specifically, they know what to do.
你知道的？
You know?
对吧？
Right?
你知道的。
You know that.
对吧？
Right?
那是你妈？太疯狂了，伙计。
Is that your mom as a that's insane, dude.
那是你妈？
That's your mom?
是的。
Yeah.
她黄得厉害，伙计。
The she's yellow, dude.
等等。
Put the Wait.
在《星际迷航》的世界里，那是什么？
What is that in Star Trek world?
那叫什么？
What is that called?
那个女人扮演的是谁？
Who is that woman she's playing?
看。
Look.
这是男更衣室，
This is the locker room for
还有，哦。
the guys, and then Oh.
哦。
Oh.
哦。
Oh.
我们刚挂上去的。
That we just put up.
哦，真是个混蛋。
Oh, Jerk material.
我明白了。
I get it.
这太疯狂了。
That's insane.
那是你妈妈。
That's your mom.
嘿。
Hey.
我能要这个吗？
Can I have that?
装框起来。
Frame it.
装框起来。
Frame it.
这实际上太棒了。
That is actually amazing.
是的。
Yeah.
你妈妈的乳房实际上就是那么大。
Your mom's tits are that big, actually.
是的。
Yeah.
她怎么了？
She what?
他们
They
是。
are.
好的。
Okay.
好的。
Okay.
但要是长着那张脸，你会吗？
But if big with that face, would you?
哦，是的。
Oh, yeah.
长着那张脸。
With that face.
不长那张脸呢？
Without?
是的。
Yeah.
好的。
Okay.
鲁迪，乖一点。
Rudy, be good.
我很好。
I am good.
不，你没有。
No.
你没有。
You're not.
你知道当你涂了这种妆容时，哪里好笑吗？
You know what's so funny when you put on face makeup like this?
当你涂上脸上的彩绘，好像要出门过夜时？
When you put on face paint like you're going out for the night?
是的。
Yeah.
我知道，因为她要去赴一个小小的秘密约会。
I know it's because she's going on a little secret date.
是的。
Yeah.
你就是。
You are.
我只是和朋友待在一起。
I'm just hanging out with friends.
不是。
No.
你看起来像一个五彩斑斓的椰子。
You look like a colorful coconut.
我满是。
I'm full of.
你就像是汤姆·汉克斯在那个该死的荒岛电影里，把椰子涂上颜色然后和它发生关系那样？
You're like when Tom Hanks painted the coconut to have sex with it in that fucking in the island movie?
是的。
Yeah.
威尔逊？
Wilson?
是的。
Yeah.
威尔逊。
Wilson.
是的。
Yeah.
你看着
You look at
你就是威尔逊。
You're Wilson.
你的新绰号是威尔逊。
Your new nickname is Wilson.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
请所有在线的人称呼鲁迪·威尔逊。
Everybody online call Rudy Wilson, please.
威尔逊。
Wilson.
哦，那真是太棒了。
Oh, that was so good.
那就是你，露丝。
That's that's you, Ruth.
真可爱，狗狗。
That's cute, dog.
真可爱。
That's cute.
你接下来要去哪儿？
Where are you going after?
去打保龄球了吗？
Did go in bowling?
是的。
Yeah.
海兰德公园。
Highland Park.
哦，你要去海兰德公园保龄球馆？
Oh, you're going to Highland Park Bowl?
太棒了。
Fantastic.
她最近经常出去
She's been going out
一直都在外头。
all the time now.
那她现在几点回家？
Now what time does she get home to the house?
有时候是凌晨四点。
Sometimes four in the morning.
真恶心。
Gross.
是的。
Yeah.
你在摄像头的屏幕上能看到吗？
Do you see it on the ring or whatever on the cam on your camera?
看不到。
No.
看不到。
No.
他只是听到我，因为他也在外面。
He just hears me because he's also away.
嗯，他在玩。
Well, he's playing.
他在玩游戏。
He's playing games.
是的。
Yeah.
我当时就在厨房里闲逛。
I was like, wandered around in the kitchen.
但当她回家时，你会盘问她吗？
But but when she comes home, do you interrogate at all?
你有没有想过，她今天都干了什么？
Are you ever like, what's been
她一回来就开始大喊大叫。
going She she immediately starts yelling.
真的吗？
You do?
你会生气吗？
You get mad?
你去哪儿了？
Like, where'd you go?
是的。
Yeah.
你去哪儿了？
Where'd you go?
我完全有权利出去。
I I have every right to go go out.
我出去了。
I go out.
你明白我的意思吗？
You know what mean?
我当时就想，好吧。
I'm like, alright.
放松点。
Relax.
天啊。
God.
耶稣基督啊。
Jesus Christ.
不。
No.
因为他开始说市中心。
Because he starts saying Down town.
是的。
Yeah.
他开始问，你为什么这么晚还在外面？
He starts saying, why are you out so late?
你为什么这么晚还在外面？
Why are you out so late?
因为我可以晚点在外面。
Because I can be out late.
不。
No.
不。
No.
不。
No.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
我没错。
I'm Right.
你会吗？
Would you?
是的。
Yes.
为了早上吗？
For the morning?
为了早上。
For the morning.
是的。
Yeah.
我担心。
I'm concerned.
区别在这里。
Here's the difference.
你可以做任何你想做的事。
You can do whatever you want.
但这并不意味着你应该或必须这么做。
Doesn't mean you should or have to.
那你这么晚在外面做什么？
So what are you doing out at that late?
上次，我只是和朋友去海边了。
Well, the last time, I just went to the beach with friends.
我不喜欢那样。
I don't like that.
然后
And then
我问，你和谁一起去的海边？
I go, who'd you go to the beach with?
他说，我的朋友希拉里。
He goes, my friend Hillary.
然后停顿了一下。
And then pause Lie.
然后是一群男生。
And then a bunch of guys.
是的。
Yeah.
一帮男人。
A bunch of guys.
凌晨四点？
At 4AM?
是的。
Yeah.
凌晨四点，是的。
At 4AM, yeah.
让我告诉你一件事。
Let me tell you something.
我妈妈以前常对我说，凌晨两点后没什么好事发生。
My mom used to say to me, nothing good happens after 2AM.
你该回家了。
You should come home.
那你在两点到四点之间做什么？
So what are you doing between two and 4AM?
出事了。
Something bad is going on.
你抽大麻了。
You smoked weed.
看到了吧？
See?
抽大麻。
Smoking weed.
你现在在抽大麻吗？
Are you smoking weed now?
就一点点。
Just a little bit.
真恶心。
Gross.
你是劣质大麻？
You're a bad weed?
不。
No.
不是你说的那样，这只是大麻？
It's not what do mean it's just weed?
只是一点点。
Just a little bit.
这只是冰毒。
It's just meth.
这只是快克可卡因。
It's just crack.
这只是
It's just
我没碰别的东西。
I'm not doing other stuff.
大麻就是从这里开始的。
That's how it starts with the weed.
它始于
It starts with
大麻。
the weed.
太震惊了。
So shocked.
大麻被列为入门毒品。
Marijuana has been labeled as a gateway drug.
入门毒品。
The gateway drug.
从统计上看，大多数使用硬性毒品的人首先使用大麻，按重量计算，大麻对青少年大脑发育有影响，因为青少年的大脑直到
Statistically, most people who use hard drugs use marijuana first, pound for pound, marijuana and adolescent brain development because the teenage brain is still developing until the
我不是青少年。
I'm not teenage.
二十多岁中期才发育完全，而你还没到二十多岁中期。
Until the mid twenties, which you're not in your mid twenties.
你
Do you
想要严厉的爱吗？
want tough love?
不要。
No.
我会给你严厉的爱。
I'll give you tough love.
是的。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
不要。
No.
你再试一次。
You do it again.
你被赶出家门了。
You're out of the house.
被赶出家门。
Out of the house.
你被赶出家门了。
You're out of the house.
我也打了乳头穿孔。
I got a nipple piercing too.
什么鬼？
What the fuck?
什么鬼？
What the fuck?
天啊，不会吧。
Oh my No.
你没真的吧。
You didn't.
什么？
What?
不。
No.
这太难以置信了，老兄。
That's unbelievable, dude.
你真的惹恼我们了，伙计。
You're really pissing us off, man.
什么？
What?
你现在是哥特风了吗？
Are you goth now?
不。
No.
我不是。
I'm not.
这只是好玩。
It's just fun.
不。
No.
这不好玩。
It's not fun.
很痛苦。
Painful.
这很恶心。
It's gross.
好玩。
Fun.
这很恶心。
It's gross.
天啊。
Oh my god.
你知道她有什么吗？
You know what she's got?
再过几个月，她脸上就会有纹身了。
She's gonna have tattoos on her face a few months from now.
脖子上的纹身也快有了。
Neck tattoos on the way.
是的。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
脸上的纹身也快有了。
Face tattoos on the way.
为已故兄弟们的眼泪滴纹身也快有了。
Tear drops for the dead homies on the way.
我真不敢相信你做了这种事。
I can't believe you did that.
一点都不疼。
It wasn't painful.
不是。
No.
我们说的不是这个。
That's not what we're talking about.
你和谁一起起床的？
Who'd you get up with?
你的朋友？
Your friend?
希拉里。
Hillary.
是的。
Yeah.
在哪？
Where?
在商场？
At a mall?
不。
No.
在纹身店。
At the tattoo shop.
糟糕。
Bad
那里的人
people hang out
都那样，老兄。
in those places, man.
是
Is
你就在那儿买大麻的吗？
that where you get your weed?
不。
No.
你去打个洞，再买瓶大麻。
You get your kit pierced and a bottle of weed.
是的。
Yeah.
那个不懂大麻的人？
Guy who doesn't know about weed?
是的。
Yeah.
你是不是买了瓶大麻，还把奶头穿了孔？
Did you get a bottle of weed and your titty pierced
对。
Yeah.
在纹身店？
At the tattoo shop?
你弄到一瓶大麻了吗？
Did you get a carafe of weed?
谁给了你那个……那个……那个邪恶的东西？
Who gave you that c that that that Sinister.
邪恶的大麻？
Sinister sinister weed?
是的。
Yeah.
谁给你的？
Who gave it
给你？
to you?
你吸了吗？
Did you snort it?
我吸了。
I did.
埃里克·希兹莱蒂吸了。
Eric Hizletti snorted.
他们把它塞进了屁股里。
They put it in their ass.
是的。
Yeah.
他们确实会。
They do.
他们会直接塞进他们的
They'll put it right in their
屁股里。
ass.
是的。
Yeah.
他们还会擦在眼睛上。
They rub it on their eyes.
它直接进入他们的大脑。
It goes straight to their brain.
你从哪儿买的大麻？
Where are you buying the weed?
我不是买的。
I'm not buying.
我只是你有个醉醺醺的
I just you have a drunk
毒贩男友。
dealer boyfriend.
她有个醉醺醺的男友。
She's got a drunk boyfriend.
她是个名叫劳尔的醉醺醺的毒贩男友。
She's a drunk dealer boyfriend named Raul.
劳尔。
Raul.
大概会听巴德·邦尼。
Probably listens to Bad Bunny.
是的。
Yeah.
劳尔。
Raul.
是的。
Yeah.
哦，晚上你还做什么？
Oh, what else do you do at night?
就这些。
That's it.
给你胸部穿孔，抽烟、吸毒。
Piercing your tit, your smoking fucking Drugs.
在海滩上玩陶器。
Pots at the beach.
顺便说一下，希拉里不是真实存在的人。
And by the way, Hillary's not a real person.
不。
No.
你可以叫我见过她。
You can call me has met her.
我从来没听说过Call。
I've never heard of Call
现在就给她打电话。
her right now.
我从未见过或听说过希拉里。
Never even seen or heard of Hillary.
现在就给希拉里打电话。
Call Hillary right now.
是的。
Yeah.
希拉里是谁？
Who Hillary.
让她接电话。
Put her on the line.
我见过她。
I've met her.
哦，闭嘴吧。
Oh, shut up.
这听起来
This sounds
像克林顿？
like a Clinton?
哦，真的是吗？
Oh, it is?
是希拉里·克林顿。
It's Hillary Clinton.
哦，你是说 Epstein 的朋友之一？
Oh, you mean one of Epstein's friends?
是的。
Yeah.
希拉里·希爾多格，那个阴险的西装男？
Hillary Hilldog, the sinister suit wearer?
回答啊，希拉里。
Answer, Hillary.
如果她不回答，那就没有希拉里。
If she doesn't answer, there's no Hillary.
她没在回应。
She's not answering.
对。
No.
这无关紧要。
It doesn't matter.
等等。
Wait.
等等。
Wait.
等等。
Wait.
等等。
Wait.
等等。
Wait.
因为你正在给你妈妈打电话。
Because you're calling your mom.
是的。
Yeah.
但她没有接电话。
And she's not picking up the phone.
是的。
Yeah.
你把你妈妈的脸换成了一个陌生女孩的脸，出现在该死的屏幕上。
You put your mom's a random girl's face on the fucking screen.
留个语音留言。
Leave a voice message.
无法接通。
To reach is not available.
请录制您的留言。
Please record your message.
录制完毕后，您可以挂断电话。
When you have finished recording, you may hang up.
挂断。
Up.
希拉里。
Hillary.
不好意思。
Excuse me.
我们听说了关于大麻的事。
We heard about the marijuana.
大麻和是的。
The weed and Yeah.
乳房被穿孔了。
The breaststices being pierced.
还有乳头穿孔。
And the boob piercing.
是的。
Yeah.
我们需要再打回去。
We need to call back
再打回去。
Call back.
尽快。
ASAP.
打电话回去
Call back
跟你谈谈耶稣基督。
to you about Jesus Christ.
是的。
Yes.
主和救世主。
The Lord and savior.
你的主和救世主。
Your Lord and savior.
对吧？
Right?
我们需要谈谈纪律。
We need to talk about discipline.
没错。
That's right.
对吧？
Right?
如果你想要被吓醒，我们就让你彻底清醒。
And if you wanna get scared straight, we'll scare you straight.
我会让你真正清醒过来，伙计。
I'll scare you real straight, pal.
伙计。
Pal.
听好了。
Listen here.
你知道吗？
You know what?
永远不要再给朱尔斯打电话了。
Don't call Jules ever again.
别总是说‘yeah’。
Don't ever yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
别再给她打电话了。
Don't ever call her.
她不是你的朋友。
She's not your friend.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
你现在走的人生道路，是这样的。
Right now, the path of life you're living Yeah.
就像脊柱侧弯。
Is like scoliosis.
全都歪了。
It's all crooked.
是的。
Yeah.
你想矫正一下吗，老兄？
You wanna get straightened out, pal?
是的。
Yeah.
你得来见见我们，这些坏朋友。
You gotta come see us, the bad friends.
让我告诉你一件事。
And let me tell you something.
是的。
Yeah.
告诉他。
Tell him.
让我告诉你一件事。
Let me tell you something.
如果我
If I
抓到你听巴德·邦尼，抓到你听
catch you listening to Bad Bunny, if I catch you listening to
你完蛋了。
You're going down.
好吧。
Alright.
让她最好回个电话。
Let's she better call back.
她最好回个电话。
She better call back.
现在是新时代了。
It's a new world now.
我们生活在一个时代
We're living in a time
告诉我们吧，萨拉小姐。
Tell us, miss Sarah.
生活在一个像鲁迪这样的人
Living in a time when someone like Rudy
哦，睿智的
Oh, wise
一个。
one.
轻率地、轻率地谈论毒品和穿孔之类的事情。
Flippantly flippantly talks about drugs and tit pierced stuff.
天哪。
Oh my.
她的朋友们在不开玩笑的时候，会想象他们在做什么。
And her friends imagine what they're doing when they're not joking around.
这很有趣，因为播客
This is funny because podcast
我是认真的。
I'm being real.
咱们现实点吧。
Let's be real.
对。
Yeah.
你正在玩魔鬼的游戏。
You're playing the devil's game.
你正在玩魔鬼的游戏。
You're playing the devil's game.
而你正中他的下怀。
And you're playing right into his hand.
是的。
Yeah.
像这样。
Like this.
对吧？
Right?
鲁迪。
Rudy.
是的。
Yeah.
魔鬼的游戏。
Devil's game.
他在你耳边低语。
He whispers in your ear.
鲁迪。
Rudy.
好的。
Okay.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
你在玩魔鬼的游戏。
You're playing the devil's game.
你确实在玩。
You are.
我没有。
I'm not.
对。
Yes.
是的。
Yeah.
你就是在玩，伙计。
You are, dude.
你就是。
You are.
好吧。
Okay.
怎么做到的？
How?
是的。
Yeah.
我们只是偶尔吸一吸。
We just smoke sometimes.
等一下。
Wait a minute.
你是在吸大麻喝醉的时候做的乳房穿孔吗？
Did you get your boob pierced when you were stoned on marijuana or drunk on alcohol?
不是。
No.
骗子。
Liar.
你当时是清醒的？
You were sober?
是的。
Yeah.
完全清醒。
Come 100%.
完全清醒。
100%.
不。
No.
完全清醒。
100%.
所以你去了纹身店。
So you you went to the tattoo parlor.
你走了进去。
You walked in.
你掀起了你的衬衫。
You lifted your shirt up.
你把乳房露出来，还让一些
You put your tit out, and you let some some
creepy devil man。
creep some creepy devil man.
做这件事的是男人还是女人？
Was it a man or woman that did it?
是个男人。
A guy.
哦，不。
Oh, no.
等等。
Wait.
等等。
Wait.
是个男人。
A guy.
对吧？
Right?
等等。
Wait.
你才14岁。
You're 14.
我24岁。
I'm 24.
我24岁。
I'm 24.
你24岁。
You're 24.
尽管如此，还是有男人当着别人的面用针穿过你的乳房，而你却觉得这是个有趣的周六夜晚。
Still, some man slit a needle through your breast in front of other people, and you think, fun time, Saturday night.
是的。
Yeah.
我不介意展示我的乳房。
I don't mind showing my boob.
呃。
Ugh.
天哪。
Oh my god.
鲁迪。
Rudy.
他是怎么抓住的
How did he hold
呢？
it?
什么？
What?
他是怎么拿住的？
How did he hold it?
他就那样做了，然后把针插了进去。
He just did that, and then he stuck the needle.
我不我不
I don't I I
他讨厌女人。
I He hates women.
是的。
Yes.
是的。
Yes.
是的。
Yes.
他是个厌女者。
He's a misogynist.
厌女者。
A misogynist.
他是个厌女者。
He's a misogynist.
是的。
Yeah.
任何愿意扭曲女性乳房的男性都是按摩师。
Any guy out there that's willing to deform a woman's breast is a massagenist.
而这个人是
And this man is
阿门。
Amen.
我给了他同意。
I gave him consent.
哦，好吧。
Oh, okay.
是的。
Yeah.
因为你感受到了权力斗争带来的压力。
Because you felt pressure because of a power struggle.
希拉里让你做了
Hillary made you do
它。
it.
希拉里，希拉里。
Hillary Hillary.
不。
No.
是他做的。
He did it.
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