双重背叛

是的

Yeah.

对

Yeah.

我们再往上退一点。

And then let's go back up a little bit.

再退一点。

Back up.

再给我脸上放大一次。

Go zoom into my face one more time.

传奇人物。

Legends.

传奇人物？

Legends?

看看我的脸。

And look at my face.

是的

Yeah.

对

Yeah.

没错

Yeah.

不可能

Couldn't

你肯定是故意这么做的吧。

be I most think you purposely did that.

好吧。

Okay.

我跟你坦诚谈过这件事。

So I talked to you candidly about this.

我知道。

I know.

我不喜欢这些东西。

I don't like these things.

它们让我特别焦虑。

They give me really bad anxiety.

我明白。

I understand that.

一紧张我就变得怪怪的，自己也不舒服。

Just get nervous, and I get weird, and I don't like it.

那你知道是为什么吗？

Well, because do you know why?

因为我根本不该在那儿？

Because I don't belong there?

不是。

No.

不是。

No.

不是。

No.

我来告诉你原因。

I'll tell you why.

什么？

What?

这是我的看法，别生气。

This is my theory, don't get mad.

哦，明白。

Oh, yeah.

因为泰勒·斯威夫特不在那儿。

Because Taylor Swift's not there.

哦，这玩笑不错。

Oh, that's a good joke.

对。

Yeah.

我觉得还不够大。

I think it's not big enough.

对。

Right.

你得招个人。

You need a hire.

是的。

Yeah.

非得是扎克伯格不可。

It's gotta be Zuckerberg.

是的。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

是的

Yeah.

对

Yeah.

那我这就过去。

So I will come come on.

不行。

No.

这根本不好笑。

It's just not funny.

别这样。

Come on.

这真的不好笑。

It's not funny.

我知道。

I know

我的意思是，要是真好笑，那倒是挺好的。

it's I mean, if it was funny, it'd be good.

就在那儿。

There it is.

我知道。

I know that.

这不错。

That's good.

是的。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

那是什么？

What is that?

但当事情搞砸时，我就会这么做。

But when things bomb, I do that.

哦，对。

Oh, yeah.

对。

Yeah.

你 onstage 应该也这么干。

You should do that on stage.

是的。

Yeah.

从今以后，这个播客里我都会这么做。

I'm gonna do that from now on on this podcast.

当某个段子没笑起来时，我会自己给自己打气。

I will lift myself up when something doesn't land.

是的。

Yeah.

但我觉得这挺搞笑的。

But to me, it is funny.

如果你仔细看的话

And if you zoom in

这些对我来说真的很难熬

Those are just tough tough for me

去做。

to do.

这很难。

It's hard.

真的特别难。

Here's It's really hard.

我跟每个人都聊过这事。

I talk to everybody about it.

我走到每个人面前。

I walked up to everyone.

我会问他们：你感觉怎么样？

I go, how do you feel?

他们说：我不舒服，还觉得很焦虑。

And they go, I don't feel comfortable, and I feel anxious.

这真让人紧张。

It's anxiety inducing.

我说：我也有同样的感受，但我做了一些别的事。

And I said, I feel the same way, but what I did was a couple of things.

首先，你吃了你的舍曲林。

Well, you took your Lexapro, first of all.

我吃了我的舍曲林，是的。

I took my Lexapro Yeah.

我违背了自己的一些直觉。

And I went against my gut instinct on certain things.

于是我主动走向那些我从没见过的人，直接打了个招呼。

So I walked up to people that I never knew, I never met, and I just said, hey.

我叫鲍比·李·麦科米克。

I'm Bobby Lee McCormick.

我就是一个铁杆粉丝。

I'm just a big fan.

太棒了。

That's awesome.

我去找过乔恩·斯图尔特。

I did it to Jon Stewart.

我和鲍勃·奥登科克合过影。

I have a photo with Bob Odenkirk.

真酷。

That's cool.

对啊。

Yeah.

所以我经常会主动去找那些我特别崇拜的人，走上前去搭话。埃迪·墨菲就是其中一个我想这么做的目标。

So I would go up to people that I'm actually fans of and walked up and I went now Eddie Murphy was one that I wanted to do that.

是的

Yeah.

但他身上有种气场，你根本没法打破。

But it he has an aura that you can't you you just can't break that aura.

他简直完美。

He's perfect.

你懂我的意思吧？

You know I mean?

就像一种能量场之类的。

It's like an energy field or something.

但他走过去的时候，确实跟我握了手。

But he did shake my hand when he was walking up to his thing.

他说：‘您好，先生。’

Goes, Hello, sir.

然后他跟我握了手。

And he shook my hand.

哇哦。

Wow.

我当时就说，天哪。

And I'm like, Oh my God.

我简直不敢相信，太棒了。

I That's couldn't believe awesome.

是的。

Yeah.

不，那真的太惊人了。

No, so this was, it was amazing.

能和这么多传奇人物在一起，简直美极了。

It was beautiful to be around all these legends.

简直难以置信。

It was incredible.

那让我感到

Just it gave me

是的。

Yeah.

这让人特别紧张。

It's a lot of anxiety.

很难受，人太多了。

It's hard because there's too many people.

你看那边。

Like, look at that.

那边是泰勒·托马林森。

Like, there's Taylor Tomlinson up there.

我都没注意到她在那儿。

I didn't even see her there.

最遗憾的就是，有些人都没看到。

That's what sucks is, there's people you didn't even see

天哪，凯特·哈德森坐我前面。

Dude, Kate Hudson's in front of me.

她离我只有两个人远。

I she was literally two people away from me.

我根本没认出她。

I didn't even see her.

你刚才还问那是谁呢。

Well, you also asked who is that?

是啊。

Yeah.

我心里想，我可没见过哪颗彗星长成那样。

Because in my mind, I'm like, I don't know a comet that looks like that.

我还以为你认识她呢。

I was like, you know her.

是啊。

Yeah.

我认识凯特，但压根没认出是她——就像你去橄榄球名人堂，突然看见个板球选手在那儿一样。

I know Kate, but it's like, didn't know it was her because in your mind, it's like, if you're going to, like, you know, a football hall of fame and a cricket player's there.

是的。

Yeah.

所以我们觉得你说得对。

So we're like you're right.

你心里肯定在想，是哪支队伍？

So in your mind, you're like, what team?

亚特兰大猎鹰队？

Falcons?

你明白我的意思吧？

You know mean?

我不确定。

I don't know.

你懂的。

You know?

不过还挺酷的。

It was pretty cool, though.

那真是个难得的时刻。

It was a cool moment in time.

结束后呢，这可是我最喜欢的部分。

And then when it was over so here's this is my favorite part.

老鹰队是个球队吗？

Is Falcons a team?

是的。

Yeah.

亚特兰大的。

Atlanta.

明白了。

Okay.

谢天谢地。

Thank God.

然后一切就结束了。

So then it's all over.

快要结束了。

Coming to a close.

我和鲍勃通了电话。

Bob and I get on the phone.

他给我打来，我也跟他说了这事。

He calls me, and I shared this.

我给路易斯打了电话。

I called Louis.

路易斯当时和菲茨在车里，我打给他们是因为觉得这事太好笑了。

Louis was in the car with Fitz, and I called them because I thought it tickled me so much.

鲍勃给我打电话，问：‘你还在线吗？’

Bob calls me, and he's like, Hey, are you still there?

我说：‘在啊，我刚才没出声。’

And I was like, Yeah, I wasn't.

我当时在车里。

I was in my car.

不行。

No.

不行。

No.

因为安德鲁之前在派对上就告诉我，要第一个走。

Because Andrew had told me earlier on in the party Be the first to leave.

你把我拉到一边说，照片拍完就得赶紧走。

You pulled me aside and go, as soon as the photo's over, you gotta rush

得赶紧离开这儿。

Gotta get out of here.

去那个，你知道的，代客停车那儿，因为肯定要排队。

To the, you know, mean, valet because there's gonna be a line.

我和唐奈尔·伦林斯一起跑，但他比我快。

So me and Donnell Runlings, he beat me.

对吧？

Right?

他是啊。

He's Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

他跑得更快。

He's faster.

更快。

Faster.

我们俩都一手拿着票在跑。

And we both were running with our ticket in our hand.

是的。

Yeah.

我们俩是第一个跑到停车处的。

And we were the first to get to the valet.

对。

Right.

你确定吗？

You're right?

但我的车先到的。

But my car came first.

当然了。

Of course.

对吧？

Right?

停在街对面的那辆蓝色车。

The blue Across the street.

是的。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

我进来的時候就看到了。

I saw it when I pulled in.

真的吗？

It was it really?

是的。

Yeah.

他们把你停得挺近的。

They left you close.

是的。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

因为我是第一个到那里的。

Because I was the first guy there.

我的矿就在那儿，是的。

They mine mine was Yeah.

大概一英里远。

About a mile away.

是的。

Yeah.

所以我离开了，大概三十分钟后，我给安德鲁打了电话。

So then I left, and then, like, maybe, like, thirty minutes later, I call Andrew.

是你打给我，还是我打给你？

Or did you call me?

你打给我的。

You called me.

我给你打电话，是聊点别的，然后你问我：你现在在哪儿？

I called you about something, and then you said I go, what do you where are you at?

你说你还待在泰德·萨兰多斯家。

And you're like, I'm still at Ted Sarandos' house.

哦，我骗你的。

Oh, I lied.

我当时在车里。

I was in the car.

我知道。

I know.

但那你后来说了什么？

But what'd you then what'd you say?

于是我跟他说，兄弟，我是不是不该走？

So then I said I said, dude, you're he said, should I should I not have left?

因为他以为我还留在那儿。

Because I he thought I was still there.

我说，你肯定想不到。

And I said, you're not gonna believe this.

我说，兄弟，天哪。

I go, dude oh, no.

对不起。

I'm sorry.

我们给你回电话了，因为我说了那些话。

We I called you back because I'd said, da da da.

是的。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

没错。

Yeah.

我说，我待会儿再跟你聊。

I said, I'll talk to you later.

后来我一直在心里琢磨这事，就又给他打了个电话，声音特别轻。

So then I ruminated about this in my head, and I called him back and I was whispery.

然后我说：嘿，兄弟。

And I said, hey, dude.

你绝对想不到这事。

You're not gonna fucking believe this.

他问：‘什么？’

And he goes, what?

我说：我们正在萨兰多斯的主卧里。

I go, we're inside Sarandos' master suite.

他这儿有个私人影院，现在在这儿的有我、塞infeld、莱特曼、路易、乔恩·斯图尔特，他正给我们放一些即将上线的新特辑。

He has a movie theater in here, and it's me, Seinfeld, Letterman, Louie, Jon Stewart, and he's doing a private showing of new specials and stuff that are about to come out.

然后他问我：‘鲍比在哪？’

It's and then he asked me, where's Bobby?

我为了你撒了个谎。

And I lied for you.

我说你还在楼下，他就说：‘你能去叫他上来吗？’

I said you were downstairs still, and he said, can you go get him?

我当时急得不行。

So I'm panicking.

他当时就说：‘我靠，这真的假的？’

And he was like, are you fucking should I oh my god.

我要不要先出去？

Should I come back?

我跟他说：‘你别闹了，兄弟。’

And I was like, you gotta dude, mate.

我真的不知道，老兄。

I don't know, man.

我得走了。

I gotta go.

我可能一会儿再回来。

I maybe come back.

我就打电话给路易斯和菲茨说了这事，他们问：‘你真要跟他们说实话？’

And I called Louis and Fitz and told them, and they were like, are you gonna tell them the truth?

我说：‘我必须得说。'

I was like, I have to.

我非得说实话不可。

I have to fucking Yeah.

因为他肯定会掉头开回塞拉诺家。

Because he would have driven back to Serrano's

我调了个头。

I was I did a U-turn.

直接开进了他家车道。

Pulled into his driveway.

我调了个头。

I did a U-turn.

我赶紧往你懂的那个地方赶回去。

I I'm racing back to where you know, to the area.

对吧？

Right?

然后他给我回电话说，我逗你玩的。

And then he called me back going, I'm just kidding.

但是

But

你能想象吗？

Can you imagine?

他有一瞬间还真信了。

He believed it for a second.

我当时在萨兰多斯的主卧里，和路易斯、莱特曼还有约翰逊在一起。

I'm in Sarandos' master suite with Louis and Letterman and Johnson.

这到底是

What is

这借口太真了，兄弟们。

It's such a believable come on, guys.

这场景太有说服力了。

It's a believable situation.

对安德鲁来说，确实如此。

For Andrew, yes.

他们让我们进屋了吗？

Did they let us into the house?

我的意思是，这种刻薄根本连掩饰都不掩饰。

I mean, it's it's like you can't you don't even hide the meanness.

没有。

No.

我说过，对安德鲁来说，这情况简直难以置信。

I said for Andrew, it's unbelievable situation.

我相信他真的会在那儿。

I believe that he would be there.

我同意你的看法。

I'm agree with you.

哦，哦，哦，快走吧。

Oh, oh, oh, go.

哦，快走。

Oh, go.

好的。

Okay.

好的。

Okay.

他们没

They didn't they

我现在对你这么防备，反而总想起我曾经给过你的东西，你知道的，L。

didn't I'm so defensive towards you now that it's like I miss I gave you I ruminate about any you know, L.

前几天我还给了你一个大大的拥抱。

I gave you a big hug the other day.

你喝醉了，看那些漫画。

The comics You were drunk.

是的。

Yeah.

你醉得厉害。

You were hammered.

你当时醉得不行了。

You were hammered.

那不算数。

That doesn't count.

我们很快就要和他一起做那个节目了。

We're doing that show soon with him.

不行。

No.

漫画书不许带进家里。

The comics weren't allowed in the house.

你真打算让这些家伙全进屋吗？

Are you gonna let all these pigs inside the house?

这太离谱了。

That's insane.

绝对没门。

No chance.

所以很明显，我们不能进特德·塞拉诺斯家，但能在院子里已经很开心了。

So so, obviously, we weren't allowed inside of home of Ted Serranos, but we were happy to be in the yard.

看看法希姆。

Look at Faheem.

他挺高兴的。

He was happy.

是的。

Yeah.

法希姆很开心。

Faheem's happy.

那是什么？

What was that?

对。

Yeah.

为了萨姆，

For the Sam,

我其实也没不开心。

there's I wasn't unhappy.

那就是我的表情。

I was that's my face.

每次到这种场合，我都特别紧张。

I get very anxious at these.

我紧张得不得了。

I get nervous out of my mind.

没错。

Yep.

然后就在我旁边的是谢丽·奥特里，她可是出了名的传奇人物。

And then Sherry O'Terry, right there next to me, who is one of the greatest legends

哦，我喜欢谢丽。

Oh, I love Cherry.

对。

Yeah.

传奇人物，是啊。

Legends Yep.

她转过身问我：你空间够吗？

Turned to me and said, Do you have enough room?

你还好吗？

Are you okay?

我说：我没事。

I said, I'm fine.

我不用挤来挤去的。

I don't need to wiggle into the thing.

因为我站在边上，靠着一侧。

And because I'm on a side, standing on a side thing.

她问：怎么了？

And she said, What's wrong?

我说：这些东西让我特别不自在。

I said, These things make me so uncomfortable.

我明白。

I know.

我知道。

I know.

她说，给我一个拥抱。

And she said, Give me a hug.

她给了我一个特别大的拥抱，可我还是摆出了那副表情拍了照。

And she gave me the biggest fucking hug, and it I still made that face for the photo.

对，没错。

Yeah, yeah.

但心里头，我感觉特别棒，因为她是个传奇人物。

But inside, I felt incredible because she's a a legend.

能见到这些人物，真的太震撼了。

It was incredible to see some of these people, man.

是啊。

Yeah.

真的特别

Was really,

特别棒

really was

令人难以置信。

really incredible.

是啊。

Yeah.

演出结束后，那晚简直太精彩了。

And then, man, what a night I had after our show.

看看亚当·赖特。

Adam Wright, look at him.

是啊。

Yeah.

所以为了粉丝们，我想说一句，因为那种感觉实在太棒了。

So just for the fans, so I can say this, so it's because it feels incredible.

感觉太棒了。

It feels incredible.

我们在YouTube剧院演出完，那些女孩也在那儿的时候。

After we did our show at the YouTube theater that the girls were at

没错。

Yes.

谢谢你们的到来。

Thank you for coming.

阿门。

Amen.

我收到了去戴夫·查普尔派对的邀请。

I get an invite to go to this Dave Chappelle after party.

天哪。

Oh, God.

太精彩了。

Amazing.

我去参加了这个派对。

I go to this after party.

这是给经纪人和经理们的。

It's for agents and managers.

这根本就是个幌子。

It's a decoy.

哦，快跟我说说怎么回事。

Oh, tell me about this.

我一进门，心里就咯噔一下：坏了。

I walked in, and I was like, Oh, no.

这根本就是个假派对。

This is the decoy party.

因为所有人都在问：戴夫会不会来？

Because everyone was like, Is Dave gonna be here?

你一进去就能看出来。

And you could tell right away.

你一进门就心想，糟了。

You're like, Oh, no.

这地方是给经纪人和经理们的。

This is for agents and managers.

后来他们把手机收走了，我才能拿回自己的手机。

And then I get my phone back because they're locked up.

我走到外面，给查佩尔发了条消息。

I walk outside, and I texted Chappelle.

我说，你肯定消息都炸了。

I said, I'm sure you're getting blown up.

我好像搞错地方了。

I think I got the wrong thing.

你们是不是在别的地方？

Are you guys at another spot?

他回我说：别废话，赶紧过来。

He goes, Yo, pull up.

他几乎立刻就说：你赶紧过来。

Almost immediately, he was like, You got to pull up.

你跟谁在一起？

Who are you with?

我说：我有个朋友，还有几个伙伴。

I said, My buddy A few of my friends.

我还说：我这边有三个成年黑人男性，这样能帮上忙吗？

I said, I'm with three Black adult men, if that helps.

他说：有帮助。

And he said, It does.

然后我就去……

And I went to

我认识其中一个。

I know one of them.

谁？

Who?

这倒是好事。

That's a good thing.

是德翁特、EP，还有我朋友斯潘克。

Devontre, EP, my buddy Spank.

哦，EP也在那儿？

Oh, EP was there?

对。

Yeah.

好吧。

Okay.

然后，我们就去了另一个地方，离这儿大概六个街区远。

And then, so, we go to this other spot that's like six blocks away.

我一进门，里面的场景你可能不太能感同身受，但里面——

I walk in, the inside child you're not gonna relate to this as much, but the inside

我完全明白。

-I'm all with

就是那个。

it.

我内心的孩童一下子爆发了。

-The child inside of me exploded.

我挺放松的。

-I'm chilling.

那场面太疯狂了。

-It was insane.

是的，没错，

-Yeah, yeah,

我一走进去，舞台上站着四十个人。

I walk in, and on stage There's 40 people.

舞台上是塔利布·克韦利和莫斯·德夫，他们正在表演《黑星》专辑里差不多一半的曲子。

On stage is Talib Kweli and Mos Def, and they're doing basically half of Black Star, the album.

对吧？

Right?

然后越来越多的人开始涌进来。

And then it starts to flood in with people.

越来越多的人渐渐注意到，

Like, more people are starting to catch on to like,

哦，对啊。

oh, yeah.

奥普拉。

Oprah.

他们正在表演。

They're performing.

奥普拉在打鼓。

Oprah was on drums.

真讨厌。

Hate it.

蒙兹。

Munz.

说不准

Can't tell

还能告诉你更多。

you more.

是的。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

然后就是Busta Rhymes。

So then Busta Rhymes.

接着是丹尼斯·罗德曼。

Then Dennis Rodman.

德斯蒙德·丹尼斯·罗德曼也在场。

Desmond Dennis Rodman was there.

明白。

Yeah.

是的

Yeah.

Busta Rhymes上了台

Busta Rhymes gets on stage.

对

Mhmm.

我当时就觉得这太疯狂了

And I was already like, this is insane.

对

Mhmm.

然后我听到周围很多人走动、说话

And then I hear like a lot of people shuffling around and talking.

哦

Oh.

接着Kanye上了台

And Kanye gets on stage.

没有。

No.

我以性命担保。

My hand to God.

那是我这辈子见过最疯狂的事

It was the craziest thing I've ever seen in my entire

了。

life.

我的天啊。

Holy shit.

坎耶

Kanye

是上个周五晚上我们演出的那个晚上吗？

Is it the night that we did last Friday night when we when we did our show?

是在我们演出之后。

After our show.

是的。

Yeah.

你这出小把戏还挺有意思。

It's interesting invited with your little charade.

你去吃东西了。

You went to go get food.

对啊。

Oh, yeah.

好吧。

Okay.

你明明就说你要去吃饭。

You literally were like, I'm gonna go eat.

我还以为你要去参加查佩尔的活动，结果我刚说完，你就接话了。

And I was like, think we're gonna go to Chappelle thing up he heard me say it.

我说我想去参加查佩尔的活动，你却说咱们去吃饭。

I was like, I think I'm gonna go to Chappelle thing, and you were like, we're gonna go get food.

你把自己本可以抓住的机会搞砸了，我当时可就在前排。

So you fuck off your own opportunities, because you could have been there, and I was in the front row.

我直接坐到了最前排。

I went right up to the front row.

我就是想看坎耶的表演。

I wanted to watch Kanye.

他穿着军靴，一直做那个表情，嘴角一扬，一副‘哇哦’的样子。

He was in military boots, he kept doing that thing where he kind of smiles where he goes Wow.

他笑了，然后退后一步，接着他们放了《It All Falls Down》，之后又演了几首歌，他居然真的在说唱。

He smiles and takes away, and they played It All Falls Down, And then he did they did a few other songs, and he was actually rapping.

亲眼看到这一切真是太震撼了。

It was wild to see.

太厉害了。

Damn.

哇塞。

Wow.

所有那些反犹主义瞬间就烟消云散了。

And all that antisemitism went right out the window.

瞬间就没了。

Right out the window.

瞬间就没了。

Right out the window.

确实如此。

Yeah.

能这么近距离亲眼看他演出，简直太震撼了。

It was incredible to see him live like that, that close.

太离谱了。

It was banana.

这太疯狂了。

That's insane.

现场观众有多少人？

And how many people were there in the audience?

我觉得他上台的时候，很多人都跑到外面去发短信了。

I would I would argue by the time that he got on stage because people were going outside to text.

人们都打开背包，掏出手机给朋友发消息，还想偷偷溜进这个场地。

Like, people had got their yonder bags unlocked to go text friends, try to sneak into this, you know, this venue.

真没想到。

Wow.

太惊人了。

Wow.

最多也就两百人左右。

Probably 200 at the most.

天哪。

Oh my god.

就跟手术室差不多。

It was like the OR.

可能还不到。

Maybe less.

大概一百五十人吧。

Maybe like one fifty.

那时候场面是。

It was

简直太震撼了。

fucking incredible.

现在几点了？

What time is it?

快半夜一点了。

Midnight or one in the morning.

我当时睡着了。

I was asleep.

是啊。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

是的

Yeah.

是的

Yeah.

是的

Yeah.

睡得死死的。

Was dead asleep.

你本来根本不可能来

You were never gonna come to

那地方。

that.

坎耶表演的时候，我睡得死死的。

I was dead asleep when Kanye was doing his.

是的

Yeah.

你知道塔利布·克韦利是谁吗？

Do you know who Talib Kweli is or no?

我就是他。

I am him.

我有多喜欢他，由此可见一斑。

That that's how good much I'm a fan.

答得漂亮。

Good answer.

喂。

Hey.

我就是他。

I am him.

不管怎样，我们那场演出特别棒。

Anyway, we had a great show.

感谢所有来观看《Bad Friends》演出的粉丝，下面请出两位和我们一起演出的女生，她们是我们最喜爱的嘉宾。

We appreciate all the fans coming to the Bad Friends show, and here are the two of our favorite girls that that did the show with us.

是的

Yeah.

我们的菲律宾朋友。

Our Filipino friends.

还有朱尔斯。

And Jules.

鲁迪·朱尔斯。

Rudy Jules.

这双鞋太棒了。

These shoes are phenomenal.

是她的。

It's hers.

那双真酷。

Those are dope.

对。

Yeah.

她从来不穿鞋。

And she never wears shoes.

你妈妈也来了。

And your mom came.

是的。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

她在后台拼命向我放电。

She was flirting with me so hard backstage.

她。

She

她就喜欢橙色的那玩意儿。

loves orange dick.

没错。

She does.

是的

Yeah.

对

Yeah.

橙色的那玩意儿

Orange dick.

没错

Yeah.

她问，你的……在哪儿

She goes, where is your

我不能说那个词

I can't say orange why?

我为什么不能说？

Why can't I say that?

你能说。

You can.

我确实去了。

And I did.

她先问了美国。

She's asked America first.

她好几次问我化妆间在哪。

She asked me where my dressing room was many times.

她说：我能去你的化妆间吗？

She goes, can I go to your dressing room?

我说：当然可以，兄弟。

I said, sure, man.

来我化妆间吧。

Come into my dressing room.

是的。

Yeah.

你表演的时候，鲍比本来要推着她。

Bobby was gonna push her while you were doing your set set.

上台？

Onto the stage?

是的。

Yeah.

连一点自己的空间都没有。

Can't can't have a moment of my own.

你是不是疯了

Are you out of your

总是要毁掉我的段子。

Always gotta sabotage my bit.

你是不是疯了？连一点自己的空间都没有。

Are you out Can't have a moment of my own.

你是不是气疯了？

Are you out of your gorge?

只要灯光一离开你，伙计，那可就黑得吓人了。

As soon as the spotlight's not on you, boy, oh, boy, does it get dark.

你觉得我会做这种事吗？

Do you think you think I would do that?

你疯了吗？

Are you insane?

对，你肯定会。

Yes.

你绝对做得出来。

You absolutely would.

我根本不会做这种事。

I would never do that.

撒谎。

Lie.

撒谎。

Lie.

撒谎。

Lie.