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嘿。
Yo.
最近怎么样？
What's good?
嘿。
Yo.
我是来自东特雷蒙特的贾塞尼亚。
This is Jasenya from East Tremont.
嘿，你们都去关注一下Bodega Boys的推特吧。
Yo, I need y'all to follow Bodega Boys on Twitter.
如果你们喜欢这个播客之类的东西，就去关注Bodega Boys。
If y'all fuck with the podcast and shit like that, at bodega boys.
另外，你们也可以来找我体验我的抽血技术。
Also, you can come see me for my phlebotomy skills.
但嘿，也别忘了，这个节目里Theses和Mero表达的观点，并不意味着他们认可对员工的虐待之类的行为。
But yo, also do not forget that the views expressed by Theses and Mero on this show, they not necessarily like the abuse of the employees and stuff like that.
你懂我的意思吧？
You know I'm saying?
因为我不希望他们被红牛告上法庭，你知道吧？
Because I don't want them to get sued by Red Bull or like, you know what I'm saying?
或者被维亚康姆之类的公司告了。
Or like Viacom or something like that.
你懂我的意思吧？
You know I'm saying?
所以，你知道的，这是出于法律原因。
So, you know, it's for legal reasons.
来自纽约红牛录音室的现场直播。
Live from Red Bull Studios, New York.
嘿。
Yo.
咋样？
What up?
是你小子，Desus Nice，也就是年轻奇波雷，还有口袋像Tyriel一样胖。
It's your boy, Desus Nice, aka Young Chipotle, aka Pockets Stay Fat Like Tyriel.
天哪。
Oh my god.
嘿，Sekimura，也就是人类Durac flap，婴儿纽波特，还有Curv Gotti。
Yo, Sekimura aka The Human Durac Flap aka Baby Newport aka Curv Gotti.
也就是Poppy宫颈涂片。
Aka Poppy Pap smear.
没错。
That's right.
是的。
Yes.
也就是便利店男孩。
Aka The Bodega Boys.
Peju Heng。
Peju Heng.
第一集。
Episode one.
这是我们尝试做的，你们年轻人称之为播客的东西，
This is our attempt at what you kids call a podcast,
我想是吧。
I guess.
我不知道。
I don't know.
我不知道。
I don't know.
我们对这个一无所知。
We don't know anything about this.
不。
Nah.
有些新玩意儿。
There's some new shit.
你懂我的意思吧？
You know what I'm saying?
我们听说别人都有。
We heard we everyone else has one.
所以我跟梅罗说，咱们也做个播客吧。
So I said, Mero, let's have a podcast.
咱们干吧。
Let's do it.
希望啊，能有超过五个人听这个。
Hopefully, you know, more than five people listen to this.
太棒了。
Dope.
接下来我们要推出我们的混音带和服装品牌。
And next thing coming is our mixtape and clothing line.
嗯。
Mhmm.
嗯。
Mhmm.
它叫
It's called
Bushy。
Bushy.
没错。
That's right.
有很多很多蓬松的衣领，还有Yo。
A lot of lot of puffy collars and Yo.
前面有60颗扣子，也许胯部还有一些按扣。
60 buttons down the front and maybe some snaps at the crotch.
你知道，
You know,
一种你可以穿去早午餐的衣服。
something you can wear to brunch.
喂。
Yo.
给所有现在穿着带按扣裆部连体衣的人打个招呼。
Shout out to anybody out there wearing a snap crotch onesie right now.
喂。
Yo.
所以，是的。
So, yeah.
这是我们这个播客，我们会跟你们聊一些事情，比如酵母菌感染之类的。
This is this is our podcast where we're gonna talk to you about things and such and yeast infections and things.
所以。
So
天啊，现在发生的事情真多。
There's a lot of shit going on, man.
我和梅罗，我们刚从哪儿回来？
Me and Mero, we just came back from where?
在三秒倒数后，大家都说大麻。
And on the count of three, everyone is gonna say marijuana.
该死的VMA颁奖礼，视频音乐大奖，如果你不知道VMA这个缩写代表什么的话。
The fucking VMAs, the video music awards, if you don't know what the VMA acronym stands for.
因为你太无聊了。
Because you lame.
你知道吗，我知道这是行业术语。
You know, I I know that's an industry term.
蠕虫。
Worms.
是的。
Yeah.
我们刚在丽思卡尔顿酒店外面，老兄。
We was out at the Ritz Carlton, dawg.
嘿。
Yo.
那简直太燃了。
It was super lit.
我们在那儿。
We were up there.
喂。
Yo.
听好了。
Listen.
这听起来可能很好莱坞，但我才不在乎。
This is this is gonna sound about Hollywood, but I don't care.
嘿，我们去了VMA颁奖礼。
Yo, we, so we go to VMAs.
你知道的
You know
我说的意思你懂吧？
what I'm saying?
首先，在我们去VMA之前，我们正在里茨屋顶卡尔顿的屋顶上吸大麻。
First of all, before we went to the VMAs, we were smoking weed on the Ritz Roof Carlton rooftop.
我没有。
I was not.
持续了很长时间。
For mad hours.
我没有。
I was not.
据说如此。
Allegedly.
然后我们就去参加VMA了。
And, then we would go to the VMAs.
你明白我的意思吗？
You know what I'm saying?
氛围特别轻松。
It's very chill.
我们上了车，开了三十英尺。
We got in a car to go, 30 feet.
你懂我的意思吧？
You know what I'm saying?
到了颁奖典礼，我们走了红毯。
When we get to the awards, we did the red carpet.
你懂我说什么吗？
Know what saying?
我们做了
We did
红毯。
the red carpet.
很棒。
It was great.
从来没走过红毯。
Never did the red carpet.
因为你知道，首先我们走出去时，他们会喊出你的名字，所有摄影师要么激动得不得了，要么完全无动于衷。
Because, you know, first of all, we get out there and they announce your name and all the photographers are either getting wild excited or they don't.
是的。
Yeah.
他们喊的是：‘小孩梅罗不行，德斯和小孩梅罗。’
And they were like, The Kid Mero no, Desus Nice and The Kid Mero.
对。
Yeah.
我当时
I was
就像所有摄影师都把他们的
like And all the camera all the photographers put their
相机放下了。
cameras down.
他们说：‘好吧。’
They're like, cool.
我可没打算让我的肱三头肌休息一下。
I was not gonna give my fucking triceps a break.
天哪。
Oh god.
范妮莎·哈金斯看着我们，心想：这俩人是谁？
Vanessa Hudgens looking at us, like, who are these guys?
嘿。
Yo.
我们刚到等候区，你知道的，就是上红毯之前，范妮莎·哈金斯走过来，我当时就想：天啊，真是那个女的范妮莎·哈金斯。
We rolled up to the the holding area, you know I'm saying, before you go on the on the carpet and Vanessa Hudgens walked up and I was like, oh shit, it's that bitch Vanessa Hudgens.
我当时兴奋得不行。
I was so high.
我根本没意识到她是个真人，还以为是电视里的幻象。
I did not realize that she was a real person and not a TV apparition.
因为我们第一次参加红毯活动，而且很多明星都对走红毯麻木了，根本不想参与。
Because that's our first time at the red carpets and like a lot of celebrities are jaded, like, don't wanna walk the red carpets.
湿了。
Wet.
嘿，那真是太好玩了。
Yo, that was so much fun.
就像小孩子一样。
It was like little kids.
那些小孩子在那里站了六个小时，根本不知道我们是谁，但他们看到我们时特别兴奋。
Little kids have been standing there for like six hours and they didn't even know who we were, but they were just so amped to see us.
太激动了。
So hype.
我们就是靠这种能量激发的。
And we feed off that energy.
天哪。
Oh god.
你知道的，这就是Bodega Boys的做法。
You know, that's how The Bodega Boys do it.
现在看不到。
Can't see it right now.
我们在录音室里跳 whip 舞。
We're doing the whip Ugh.
因为在
In the studio because with
我刚刚做了娜娜舞。
that I just did the nae nae.
我拉伤了，我弄伤了我的前交叉韧带。
I pulled my I told my ACL.
喂。
Yo.
听好了。
Listen.
所以我们到了座位上。
So we get to our seats.
对吧？
Right?
哦，我们在放松。
Oh, And we're chilling.
谁坐在了我们前面？
And who sits down in front of us?
首先，德鲁医生就坐在了我们前面。
Fucking first of all, doctor Drew sat in front of us.
我当时就说，嘿，是德鲁医生。
And I was like, yo, it's doctor Drew.
德斯，那家伙是谁？
Desus, who the fuck is that?
一小时后，德斯说：嘿，小子，你就是奥兹医生。
Then an hour later, Desus is like, yo, son, yo, you doctor Oz.
咱们干点事儿吧
Let's do shit
太晚了。
late time.
那个混蛋还说，哦，是的。
And the motherfucker was like, oh, was like, yeah.
你们回到座位上了吗？
Did you go back to your seats?
安保人员一直跟在我们后面，说：他们不该在这儿吧？
Security was like behind us the whole time, like, yo, are they supposed to be here?
他们从哪儿获得的证件？
Where do they get credentialed from?
谁让圣卢纳蒂克其他人进来的？
Who let the rest of the Saint Lunatics in here?
天啊。
Oh, man.
真是太糟糕了。
It's fucking terrible.
所以，演出进行到一半的时候，首先，好吧。
So, like, halfway through the show of first of all, okay.
在德鲁医生坐在我们前面之后，安伯、罗斯和黑中国就坐在我们旁边或前面。
So after doctor Drew sits in front of us, Amber, Rose, and Black China sit next to us or in front of us.
对。
Right.
这太酷了，你知道我的意思吧？
Which was dope, you know what I'm saying?
直到我注意到，他们衣服上印满了世界上所有的脏话，这意味着我们根本不可能拍到任何镜头，没错。
Until I Like said something every profanity in the world was printed on their clothing, which meant we were not gonna get any camera That's right.
然后，这边的帕普涂片在醉酒和吸毒的状态下，居然凑到安伯·罗斯耳边，低声说些无聊的甜言蜜语。
Then Pap smear over here decided in his drunken and high state, he was going to whisper romantic nothing in the ear of one Amber Rose.
所以我只看到梅罗探过身去。
So all I see is Mero lean over.
他对安伯·罗斯说了些什么，她脸上的表情让布莱克·茜娜盯着她，好像在说：‘我们快要把这事搞砸了。’
He says something to Amber Rose, the face she makes made Blac Chyna look at her like, yo, we about to duff this thing.
所以现在我坐着想，嘿，我们都是来自布朗克斯的。
And so now I'm sitting like, yo, we both from The Bronx.
是的。
Yeah.
所以如果Mero要跟Amber Rose和Black Chyna打架，那我估计也得上场了。
So if Mero is gonna be fighting Amber Rose and Black Childhood, I guess I'm gonna be fighting
Black Rose和Black Chyna为头衔而战。
Black Rose and For the title Black Childhood.
好吧。
Alright.
你本该在VMA颁奖礼上看到我们，就穿着两件衣服，像在打我，我用拳头砸了Wiz Khalifa孩子的妈妈的头。
You would have seen us in the VMA Isles, just two piece in it, just like fighting me me hitting Wiz Khalifa's baby's mother in the head with
用握着月球奖杯的硬拳头。
the hard knuckles with a moon man.
总之，Mero把他们得罪得太狠了，他们直接站起来走了。
Anyway, Mero offended them so badly, they got up and left.
是的。
Yeah.
他们被替补座位的人取代了。
And they were replaced by seat fillers.
哇。
Wow.
但有两个人，身上全都是‘faggot’这个词。
But there were two dudes who had the word faggot all over their entire garment.
讽刺的是。
Ironically.
讽刺的是。
Ironically.
讽刺的是。
Ironically.
对。
Yes.
讽刺的是。
Ironically.
梅罗不只是
Mero didn't just
在这一期的《不》中说出了那个词。
say faggot on the first episode of this No.
我没说过。
I didn't say it.
这可不是我们想要的氛围。
That's not the vibe we're going for here.
不。
No.
嗯，这可不是‘不’。
Well, that's not no.
不。
No.
我们非常包容。
We're very inclusive.
我们在洛杉矶。
We were in LA.
我们很随和，
We're chill,
兄弟。
bro.
是的。
Yeah.
就是对。
It's yeah.
听好了，洛杉矶没有性取向这回事。
Listen, there's no sexuality in LA.
关键在于你的能量，兄弟。
It's just about your energy, bro.
这完全取决于你的能量，兄弟。
It's just your energy, bro.
你知道，你是泛性恋，那就顺其自然吧。
You know, you're pansexual, just go with it.
嘿。
Yo.
但就像德斯说的，那件事 shady 的地方在于，我们意识到，嘿，我们不会出现在镜头前，因为他们不会让这些家伙上镜，穿着满身这种俚语的衣服，你懂我的意思吧。
But like Desus said, that was the the shady part about that is that we realized, yo, we are not gonna appear on camera because they're not gonna put these dudes on camera with all this, you know I'm saying, with all these slurs all over all their clothing.
是的。
Yeah.
所以你明白我的意思吗？
So know I'm saying?
你知道，我们只是多喝了一点来缓解。
You know, it's a remedy that we just drank more.
是的。
Yeah.
所以，你知道，VMA颁奖典礼正在举行，人们在跳舞什么的。
And so, you know, the VMAs is going on, there's people dancing and stuff.
我们的座位还不错，看得见，但我们其实并不在意。
We we our seats are good enough we could see, but we don't really care.
这时候我们已经飘了。
We're flying at this point.
是的。
Yeah.
然后
So then
而且我们周围都是些无聊的人。
And also we were surrounded by like boring people.
就像，凯莉·奥斯本也在那里。
Like, it was like we like, Kelly Osborne was there.
我看到了丽塔·奥拉。
I saw Rita Ora.
坐在某个男人的腿上。
Sitting on some dude's lap.
就像是，
Was like,
这太无聊了。
this is boring.
如果你
If you
如果你去参加VMA颁奖礼，看到蕾哈娜，你会说，哇，碧昂丝！哇，蕾哈娜！蕾哈娜就是那种人。
go to if you go to the VMAs and you see Ria Ora, you're like, yo, Beyonce Yo, Rio Rita Ora, Ora is the one of those.
一个碧昂丝。
One Beyonce.
对吧？
Right?
天啊，她才是真正的时尚先锋
Yo, she is the fucking champion sneaker of
碧昂丝。
Beyonce.
天啊。
God.
嘿，我们看到一半时，意识到可以站起来离开座位。
Yo, we so we got halfway through the show, we realized that we could get up and leave our seats.
你懂我的意思吧？
You know what I'm saying?
大错特错。
Big mistake.
对其他所有观众来说都是个大错。
Big mistake for the rest of the rest of the audience.
所以我们现在就像来自布朗克斯的疯子一样，在过道里来回走动，吓唬明星们。
So now we're just wilding on like, clearly from The Bronx, just walking up and down the aisles like goons, scaring celebrities.
天哪。
Oh, shit.
杰登·史密斯。
Jaden Smith.
嘿，杰登，怎么样？
What up Jaden
史密斯？
Smith?
杰登·史密斯。
Jaden Smith.
我们见过杰登·史密斯。
We met Jaden Smith.
杰登·史密斯说：兄弟们。
Jaden Smith was like, bros.
我爱你们。
I love you guys.
那挺酷的。
It was cool.
挺酷的。
It was cool.
Jaden 和我们很合得来。
Jaden fucks with us.
我们继续走着，你知道我说的意思吧，直到我们看到了一位坎耶·韦斯特，也就是耶稣，也就是我的救世主。
We continue to walk, know you what I'm saying, until we see one Kanye West aka Jesus aka the Messiah of Me.
也就是，我是神。
AKA I am a god.
没错。
That's right.
不过你要知道，很多人以为，如果我十点遇到坎耶，嗯。
Now, mind you, you a lot of people thought, like, if I ever met Kanye at ten hours, Uh-huh.
他们一开始说不。
They start No.
我当时想，哦，没关系。
I was like, oh, it's cool.
那就是坎耶。
That's Kanye.
因为我又在飞行了。
What Because I was flying again.
我站在滑板上，但其实我没站在滑板上。
I was on a hoverboard, but I wasn't on a hoverboard.
我 literally 在飘浮，因为我喝得太多，超出了人体能承受的限度。
I was literally levitating because I had reached levels of just inebriation that the human body can't take.
嘿，当时确实有酒精。
Yo, there was like alcohol.
你知道那种高温下会冒出热气流吗？
You know how when there's really hot heat lines come out?
我当时就像有酒精气流冒出来。
It's like I had alcohol lines come out.
我看起来就像个轩尼诗的猪圈。
I look like I look like a Hennessy pigpen.
好吧？
Alright?
周围全是更多的酒。
Just more liquor floating around me.
所以后来，凯恩，你知道吗，当你醉到那种程度时，你会看到一些东西，但所有声音听起来都像《花生漫画》里大人的声音。
So then Kanye it's like because now, you know, when you like you knew like drunk like that, you see stuff, but then you hear all the words sound like the adults on the peanut cartoons.
所以我只看到梅罗出现在凯恩保镖的脸上。
So all I see is, like, Mero in the face of Kanye's bodyguard.
然后我又想，嘿，该行动了。
And again, I'm like, yo, it's go time.
嘿。
Yo.
所以我绕过去，准备去找凯恩的保镖算账。
So I'm coming around because I'm about to hook off on Kanye's bodyguard.
嘿。
Yo.
这家伙看起来像个鸭子掩体。
This dude looked like a duck blind.
这家伙差不多有八十英寸宽。
This dude was like eighty inches across.
你明白我的意思吗？
You know what I'm saying?
他肩膀非常宽，是个特别吓人的家伙，可能是东欧人，以前说不定干过军火贩子。
He had very broad shoulders, very intimidating dude, probably Eastern European, might have been a gun runner in his past life.
嘿。
Yo.
但接着我们看到了坎耶。
But so we see Kanye.
我们心想，拍张坎耶的照片吧。
We're like, let's take a picture of Kanye.
于是我跟他说：嘿，能拍张照吗？
So I'm like, yo, can I get a picture?
而且，你懂我的意思吧？
And, you know what I'm saying?
就是因为，你懂我的意思吧？
Just because, you know I'm saying?
你跟我们合张影就太酷了。
It would be dope for you to take a picture with us.
你知道吗
You know what
我说的是？
I'm saying?
他的安保人员大个子在找你，坎耶。
And his security Big look for you, Kanye.
是的。
Yeah.
你明白我的意思吧？
You know what I mean?
这会让你倍受关注。
It'll be double look for you.
你什么意思？
You what mean?
你知道怎么卖
You know how sell
你的《饥饿游戏》服装。
your Hunger Games clothing.
没错。
That's right.
你知道我在说什么吧？
You know I'm saying?
所以这家伙告诉我：嘿，他不拍照片。
So this dude tells me, yo, he's not taking no pictures.
别忘了，坎耶就坐在我离我十英寸远的地方。
Mind you, Kanye is sitting 10 inches away from me.
所以我就说，嘿，他为啥不直接告诉我不能和那个拍照呢？
So I'm like, yo, why doesn't he tell me that I can't take a picture with that?
现在，我想插一句，Mero刚才说这话时非常平静。
Now, I would like to interject here and say Mero just said that very calmly.
我看到的是，Mero基本是握紧拳头拍手，一副‘我就要这个’的样子。
What I saw was Mero basically clapping hands in his fist like I want it.
我想听Kanye亲口说。
I wanna hear it from Kanye.
为什么不能听Kanye亲口说呢？
Why can't wanna hear it from Kanye?
我当时就说，嘿，我们马上要在VMA颁奖礼上被干掉，而这家伙至少懂五种以色列功夫，哦，你们都准备干掉我们了。
And I was like, yo, we about to get killed at the VMAs while this guy knows, like, at least five kinds of Israeli kung fu Oh, you already gonna kill us.
你早就知道了。
You already know.
突然间，Kanye就变得特别淡定，因为据说他后台可能吸了点东西。
So all of a sudden, Kanye is just who's mad chill because, know, he might have huffed something backstage allegedly.
缓解了紧张气氛。
Took the edge off.
他特别酷，还说：‘不，我要和他们合个影。’
He was wild cool and he was like, no, I'll take a photo with them.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
然后我们过去拍照，你懂我的意思吧？
So then we get down to take a photo and you know what I'm saying?
如果坎耶在那儿，你知道谁就坐在他旁边吗？
If Kanye's there, you know who's sitting right next to him.
你懂我的意思吧？
You know I'm saying?
因为他已婚，总是带着妻子参加所有活动。
Because he is a married man and he brings his wife to all the events.
一位怀孕很明显的金·卡戴珊。
One very pregnant Kim K.
没错。
That's right.
问题是，我没看到她。
Problem is, I didn't see her.
不，他没看到。
No, he didn't.
他以为那个座位是空的。
He just thought that was an empty seat.
以为座位是空的。
Thought the seat was empty.
我没看到金·卡戴珊在那里。
I didn't see Kim K there.
所以拍照的时候，梅罗蹲了下来，因为梅罗眼中的坎耶没有站起来。
So as we're taking the photo, Mero squats down because Mero's Kanye is not standing up.
于是我蹲下来，说：嘿，让我确保能拍进去。
And I squat down like, yo, let me make sure to get in this.
然后我往后退。
And I back up.
结果我后退时撞到了一位非常怀孕的金伯利·卡戴珊·韦斯特。
And I back up into a very pregnant Kimberly Kardashian West.
而凯anye每次都会说：嘿，这是我老婆，伙计。
And Kanye goes every time he goes, yo, it's my wife, dawg.
他说得非常严肃。
He said it very sternly.
这是我老婆。
It's my wife.
我有点受伤了。
And my feelings were a little hurt.
但与此同时，我心里想：天啊，凯anye刚冲我吼了一嗓子。
But at the same time, I was like, yo, Kanye just yelled at me.
然后我就想，凯anye刚刚对我大喊大叫。
And then I was like, Kanye just yelled at Yo.
哎。
Yo.
那感觉就像是，对不起，兄弟。
That was like, sorry, man.
对不起。
Sorry.
我以为他会说，嘿，别拍照了。
I thought he was gonna be like, yo, not taking a photo.
我们非得拍我们的照片不可。
We're getting our damn photo.
我们非得拍我们该死的照片不可。
We're getting our motherfucking photo.
感谢谢尔比拍了这张照片。
Shout out to Shelby who took the photo.
没错。
Word.
生日快乐。
Happy birthday.
嘿，我们爱你。
Yo, we love you.
所以我们拍了照片，然后回到了我们的
So we took the photo and we went back to our
座位上。
seats after that.
现在我们出名了。
And now we're famous.
我觉得我们现在已经签了好的唱片公司了。
I think we're signed to good records now.
是的。
Yeah.
好音乐。
Good music.
好音乐。
Good music.
我们有一些新作品要发布。
We got some stuff coming out.
我正在和特拉维斯·斯科特合作。
I'm working with Travis Scott.
我有基德·库迪。
I have Kid Cudi.
他将在我的一首歌里献唱。
He's gonna be singing on one of my tracks.
我正想说，《凯恩斯对我大喊》听起来像是特拉维斯·斯科特专辑里的一首歌。
I was about to say Kanye Yelled At Me sounds like a track off the Travis Scott album.
是的。
Yeah.
展开剩余字幕（还有 480 条）
这只是第12首曲子。
That's only track 12.
Kanye 对我大喊大叫。
Kanye Yelled At Me.
Kanye 对我大喊大叫。
Kanye Yelled At Me.
括号，OxyCayin。
Parentheses, OxyCayin.
再见。
Ciao.
Bodega Boys 到场了，老兄。
Bodega Boys in the building, dawg.
让我们花点时间谈谈美国最受欢迎的运动员。
Let's take a moment to talk about the most favorable athlete in The United States Of America.
霍华德，我相信他因为恼怒而把球扔了出去。
Howard, I believe, got that technical as he threw the ball away in disgust.
那是DWHITE HOWARD的第十次了，拜托，老兄。
And that is DWHITE HOWARD's tenth Oh, come on, man.
技术犯规。
Technical foul.
他得停下来了。
He's he's got to stop.
是的。
Yeah.
我告诉你，德勒尼刚让霍华德别再这样了。
And I'll tell you, Delaney just told Howard to stop that.
德怀特·玉米球·霍华德。
Dwight Cornball Howard.
德怀特，我在球场上穿潜水服。
Dwight, I wear a scuba suit on the court.
哦，德怀特·霍华德，他就像NBA 2K16里的自创球员。
Oh, Dwight Howard, who is like a MyPlayer in NBA 2K16.
如果你把你可自定义角色的所有配件都戴上，有压缩袖套、头带、腕带、磁疗产品其实没啥用，但我还是想试试。
If you take every accessory for your customizable character, you got the compression sleeve, the headband, the wristband, the magnetic doesn't really work, but I'm a try it anyway.
铜手镯。
The copper bracelets.
铜布雷夫曼牛仔裤。
Copper Brefarm jeans.
那种压缩背心，只有恋童癖才会穿。
The compression vest that only, like, child molesters wear.
他现在在球场上，然后从球场直接带着一把装满子弹的枪去了机场。
And he is on the court now, and he went from the court to the airport with a loaded burner.
真是个傻子。
What an idiot.
继续。
Carry on.
你知道什么是疯狂的吗？
You know what's crazy?
我喜欢，我们之前聊过这个，我当时就想，天啊，这太疯狂了。
I like, we were talking about this earlier and I was like, yo, this is crazy.
你为什么会带着枪去任何机场附近？
Why would you ever go anywhere near an airport with a gun?
然后我们意识到，这是因为我们来自纽约。
And then we realized it's because we're from New York.
是的。
Yeah.
德怀特·霍华德来自德克萨斯。
And Dwight Howard is from Texas.
在德克萨斯州拥有枪支就像他妈的……
And having a gun in Texas is like fucking
就像随身带着一张地铁卡一样。
It's like having like like a MetroCard on you.
就像每个人都有一样。
It's like everyone has it.
哦哦，我有打火机。
Oh oh, I got a lighter.
是的。
Yeah.
我也有把九毫米手枪。
I got a nine millimeter too.
给你。
Here.
不过，有个更好的问题。
Here's a better question though.
Chatsby
The Chatsby
我拿到了。
I got it.
德怀特·霍华德带着枪干什么？
What is Dwight Howard doing with a gun?
我非常愿意
I would love to
他难道没钱请安保吗？
Does he not have enough money for security?
如果有人冲向德怀特·霍华德，你是想说德怀特·霍华德觉得掏出枪来对付对方，甚至可能开枪打死对方是个好主意？
If someone runs down on Dwight Howard, you mean to tell me Dwight Howard thinks it's a good idea that he's going to pull out a gun on someone and possibly shoot and kill them?
是的
Yeah.
因为德怀特·霍华德开枪后很容易蹲下，然后混进人群消失不见。
Because it's very easy for Dwight Howard to shoot somebody and then get low and, like, disappear into a crowd.
他
Him.
是的
Yeah.
谁开的枪？
Who shot him?
我不知道。
I don't know.
我不知道。
I don't know.
他是一个八英尺十二英寸的黑人。
It's a eight foot twelve black guy.
非常令人失望的篮球运动员。
Very disappointing basketball player.
嘿。
Yo.
你九英尺十二英寸呢，老兄。
You're nine foot twelve, dawg.
你他妈在干什么？
What the fuck are you doing?
嘿。
Yo.
那是什么感觉？
What is it like?
这难道只是不想花钱请安保吗？
Is this just not wanna spend money for security?
他值一百万美元。
He's worth 1,000,000.
嘿，德怀特·霍华德值多少钱？
How, yo, how much is Dwight Howard worth?
罗恩·特丝现在在干什么？
What is Ron on Tess doing right now?
罗恩·特丝肯定会当你的安保，而且费用很低。
Ron on Tess will definitely be your security guard for, like, a a nominal fee.
你知道吗，德怀特·霍华德不是有很多孩子吗？
You know what it doesn't Dwight Howard have mad kids or something?
他有很多孩子。
He has mad kids.
是的。
Yeah.
他至少值一亿。
He's worth at least a 100,000,000.
你可以付佩恩特、波基或马尔科姆·贾马尔·华纳钱
You could you could pay Peanut, Pookie, or Malcolm Jamal Warner
别开玩笑了。
Come on.
来给你当保安，德怀特·霍华德。
To be security for you, Dwight Howard.
我需要你在生活中做出更好的选择。
I need you to make better choices in life.
你完全可以付钱给马尔科姆·贾马尔·华纳。
You can definitely pay Malcolm Jamal Warner.
你知道吗？
You know what?
我只是想指出，我们之前说他狂野又软弱，还说想在另一个节目里和他较量，现在他却随身带着枪。
I just also would like to point out that after we said he was wild soft and I just wanted to fight him on another show we once had, that now he's walking around with a gun.
你看到这种影响了吗？
You see the influence?
让我们看看他到底知道什么狗屁 drama。
Let's see what's he knows what drama He it
他知道他不想像斯蒂芬·马布里那样在灯光下落幕。
know he don't wanna end up like Stephan Marbury at the light.
德怀特，老兄，你得雇个人，真的。
Dwight, man, gotta hire somebody, man.
你得去偷点东西，老兄。
You gotta steal yo.
名人啊，别闹了。
Famous people, stop.
把你的蠢事外包出去吧，老兄。
Outsource your dumb shit, man.
我们以前讨论过这个。
We have spoken about this before.
把你的蠢事外包出去。
Outsource your dumb shit.
当你听到外包所有这些事情的时候，就像那样。
It's like when you hear outsource for all of that.
比如，当你听说有个人身价五千万美元，却酒后驾车。
If it's like when you hear about somebody who's worth, like, $50,000,000 and they get, like, a DUI.
天啊。
Like, dog.
打个网约车要多少钱？
How much how much does Uber cost?
你这么有钱，都能买一辆自动驾驶的车，
How much the you could you're so rich that you can buy a car that drives itself,
老兄。
man.
这个
This
得了吧。
come on.
你可以买一个自动驾驶的原型车。
You could buy a prototype self driving.
你可以打电话给谷歌，老兄。
You can call Google, man.
他们会帮忙的。
They'll help
帮你解决。
you out.
但你知道吗？
But you know what?
德怀特·霍华德得找个比他还高大的保镖，因为是的。
Dwight Howard would have to have a bodyguard bigger than him because Yeah.
你会觉得，如果你的保镖比你矮，会很受伤。
You will think it'll hurt if your bodyguard's smaller than you.
是的。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
我会冲过去，他妈的
I'll come through and fucking
就这么干。
Come through with that.
德怀特·霍华德得弯下腰说，嘿，真帅。
Dwight Howard has to bend down like, yo, good looks.
嘿，真帅，我的老兄。
Yo, good looks, my g.
真帅。
Good looks.
你觉得有多少人曾经冲向德怀特·霍华德？
How often do you think people were running up on Dwight Howard?
他们得随身带着枪到处走。
They has to walk around with a gun.
天哪。
Oh, man.
他看起来就是那种会随身带着枪的人。
He's he seems like the type just to have it.
他觉得这很酷。
He thinks it's cool.
是的。
Yeah.
这很酷。
It's cool.
他很酷。
He's cool.
他就像对着镜子摆姿势，是的。
He's like posing with in the mirror Yeah.
得了吧。
Come on.
还有像
Along with like
阿龙·埃尔南德斯那个混蛋。
Aaron Hernandez ass nigga.
哦。
Oh.
他可是带着火器的德怀特，伙计们。
It's Dwight with the burner, y'all.
他可能有个平时用的别名。
He probably has like an alternate name he uses
哦。
Oh.
是的。
Yeah.
他在镜子里拿着枪。
Where he's he has the gun in the mirror.
嘿。
Yo.
是DWHITE。
It's DWHITE.
嘿。
Yo.
是DWHITE，老兄。
It's DWHITE, dawg.
12毫米。
12 millimeter.
DW九毫米。
DW nine double M.
12口径。
12 gauge.
他在YouTube上研究如何做帮派手势之类的东西。
He's on YouTube researching how to do gang signs and stuff.
是的。
Yeah.
他就像
He's like
你早就知道了。
You already know.
哦。
Oh.
是的。
Yeah.
让我倒回到第三十秒的地方。
Let me take it back to the thirty second mark.
我真的不明白这个。
I really can't get that.
我搞不懂这个。
I can't get that.
那是字母O吗？
Is that a o?
至少学点美国手语之类的吧。
At least do American Sign Language and shit.
我喜欢里面加花生的三明治。
I love sandwiches that have peanuts.
平的。
Flat.
平的。
Flat.
我对麸质过敏。
I have a gluten allergy.
嘿，老兄，你刚签了个超无聊的东西。
Like, yo, dog, you just signed something mad boring.
你看起来就像他妈的珍·古道尔。
You look like fucking Jane Goodall.
这可不是帮派手势，兄弟。
That's not a gang sign, my guy.
他看起来像可可那只猴子。
He looks like Coco the monkey.
德怀特·霍华德抱着一只小猫到处走，
Dwight Howard walking around with a kitten like,
我爱你。
I love you.
苹果。
Apple.
哦，真是条虫子。
Oh, what a worm.
好吧。
Alright.
波迪加男孩们，我们回来了。
Bodega Boys, we're back.
没错。
That's right.
胆小鬼。
Cowards.
两种方式都是。
In both ways.
像德雷克一样连续不断。
Back to back like Drake.
说到德雷克，他被嘲讽了，而他嘲讽了泰格，说：要按你的年龄行事，别按你女朋友的年龄行事。
Speaking to Drake, who was roasted who roasted Tiger, who said, act your age, not your girl's age.
还记得吗？
Remember that?
你还记得吗？
Remember that?
而这周，我们有幸深入了解了Tyga和Kylie的生活。
And then this week, we were blessed to have the insight into Tyga and Kylie's life.
天哪。
Oh, man.
他们的浪漫私密时刻。
Their romantic intimacies.
太惊人了。
Incredible.
关起门来会发生什么？
What happens behind closed doors?
我想和她保持友谊和关系。
I wanna keep my friendship and relationship with her.
你懂我的意思吗？
You know what I mean?
因为我觉得世界怎么想根本不重要。
Because I feel like it is it doesn't matter what the world thinks.
你懂我的意思吧？
You know what I mean?
我喜欢这个。
I like it.
我觉得挺搞笑的，他上电台说：‘我根本没和凯莉约会。’
I think it's funny that he went on the radio and he was like, yo, I'm not dating Kylie at all.
但一个月后，我就看到视频里说，
And then, like, a month later, because I'm video be like,
她是个成熟的女孩，伙计。
yo, she a big girl, dog.
我和我的阴茎在她屁股里进行了刺激。
I stamilated with my penis in her butt.
太露骨了。
Like, very graphic.
就是告诉我们，嘿，我至少已经和她搞了一年了。
Like, letting us know, like, yo, I have been smashing this for at least a year.
你懂我的意思吧？
You know what I'm saying?
就像Hyga。
Like Hyga.
太狠了。
Savage.
Hyga。
Hyga.
而且我觉得，首先，我想给自己点个赞。
And I feel like first of all, I feel I wanna shout out to me.
给年轻的Chipotle点赞，他现在把他的名字念对了。
Shout out to young Chipotle for pronouncing his name right now.
嘿。
Yo.
真的吧。
For real.
哦，天哪。
Oh, shit.
没错。
That's right.
喂。
Yo.
我们很放松。
We chill.
在谈论这件事。
Talking about it.
我们得花点时间来认可一下这件事。
We gotta take we gotta take a moment to acknowledge this.
德苏以叫错别人的名字而闻名。
Desus is notorious for saying people's names wrong.
我们遇到过名人，他就那样说：嘿，罗比·施默丁，最近怎么样？
It's We met celebrities and he's been like, yo, what up Robbie Schmerding?
就是那样，嘿。
Like, yo.
我不知道。
I don't know.
嘿，提格，最近怎么样？
What up Tigger?
我心想，哦。
I'm like, oh.
我不知道。
I don't know.
听好了，如果我看到你的名字，我会按照我第一次读的时候来发音。
Listen, if I read your name, I'm going to pronounce your name the way I first read it.
按发音来。
Pronetically.
我是那种拿过普通教育发展证书的人。
Like, listen, I like I'm like someone who has a GED.
我真的没去纠正它。
Like, I don't I'm not working it out.
一旦它在我脑子里定型了，我就这么念了。所以多年来，我一直把Tiger念成Tigger。
And once it's locked in my brain, that's the way I'm pronouncing So for years, I was calling Tiger Tigger.
而且从来没人纠正过我。
Also, no one has ever corrected me on it.
大家任由我这么叫了好几个星期。
People just let me cook for weeks.
不。
No.
他们以为我在开玩笑。
They thought I was being funny.
不。
No.
我当时
I was
是文盲。
being illiterate.
我以为你在贬低我。
I thought you I thought it was a diss.
你知道的，
You know,
向Tiger和Kylie致敬。
shout out to you, Tiger and Kylie.
现在我能正确发音你的名字了，Tiger，你这个混蛋。
Now that I can pronounce your name, you, Tiger, you scumbag.
你做到了。
You made it.
另外，也要致敬
Also, shout out to
凯莉从一个非常浪漫且性感的17岁少女，变成了如今将近48岁的样子。
Kylie who has gone from a very nuptuous and sensual 17 year old to now she is about 48.
她的负担已经满了。
Her load is full.
她马上要去社会保障办公室抱怨了。
She's about to be in the social security office complaining.
听好了。
Listen.
这个年轻女孩的生活并不容易。
Life has not been easy on the the young lass.
天啊，她真是。
Dog, she is.
她看起来就像刚引发马铃薯饥荒一样。
She looks like starting the potato famine.
天啊，她老得就像放在柜台上的牛油果和香蕉一样。
Oh my She's aging like guacamole and bananas left out on the counter.
嘿。
Yo.
天哪。
Oh, man.
老得像他妈的冰淇淋。
Aging like fucking ice cream.
喂，你这是怎么了？
Like, yo, what is going on with you?
她老得就像住在新泽西中部一样。
She's aging like she's in Central New Jersey.
就像她抽着没过滤嘴的百乐门香烟。
It's like she's smoking, Palmalls with no filter.
没过滤嘴。
No filter.
听好了。
Listen.
这简直像疯了的邦·乔维。
It's a mad Bon Jovi.
非常吵。
Very loud.
拉替塞，流泪。
Latisse, tear.
儿子。
Son.
一罐接一罐地用Aquanet定型发胶。
Going through cans of Aquanet.
不。
No.
这是一辆卡马罗。
It's a Camaro.
天啊，伙计。
It's oh, dude.
所以Tiger Tiger在她最火、巅峰时期得到了她。
So Tiger Tiger got her when she was at her hottest, at her peak.
你觉得Tiger会从上面跳下去吗？
Do you think Tiger's gonna jump off it?
因为Tiger之所以相关，完全是因为她。
Because Tiger is only relevant because of her.
没错。
That's true.
明白吗？
Alright?
没人想听Tiger说唱。
No one's trying to hear Tiger rap
是的。
Yeah.
在
At
全部。
all.
他靠着小韦恩的脏辫进入圈内，然后跳下来，现在又靠着凯莉的假发走向夕阳。
He rode Lil Wayne's dreads into the game, then he hopped off, and now he's riding Kylie's extensions into the sunset.
你懂我的意思吧？
You know what I'm saying?
这太疯狂了，因为她看起来就像个该死的宝可梦。
It's crazy because she she looks like she looks like a fucking Pokemon.
你知道那个宝可梦吧，就是长着黑色脸、嘴唇和假发的那个。
You know that Pokemon does the fucking that's just like has the just the black face with the lips and the wig.
那个该死的宝可梦叫什么名字？
What the fuck is that Pokemon called?
你东张西望的，好像这房间里还有别人在看维克托的宝可梦似的。
You're looking around like someone else in this room watching Victor's Pokemon.
维克托，看看他的宝可梦。
Victor's look at his Pokemon.
他现在看起来就像在谷歌搜索一样？
He's he's acting like he's googling it right now?
他知道得一清二楚。
He knows it off
他凭记忆就知道。
the He knows off the dome.
他有前腿。
Has the front leg.
他得给三十秒时间，这样才不会看起来像昨晚根本没玩过宝可梦。
He has to give it thirty seconds so it doesn't look like he wasn't playing Pokemon last night.
她更像Jinx。
She's more like Jinx.
Jinx。
Jinx.
Jinx。
Jinx.
给你。
There you go.
Jinx Jinx Jenner。
Jinx Jinx Jenner.
Jinx Jenner。
Jinx Jenner.
哦。
Oh.
喂。
Yo.
另外，回忆一下VMA的故事。
Also, throwback to the VMA story.
嗯。
Mhmm.
妈妈叫什么名字？
What's the mother's name?
克里斯。
Chris.
克里斯。
Chris.
哦，该死。
Oh, shit.
喂。
Yo.
你们都得看看那张照片。
Y'all gotta look at that photo.
听好了。
Listen.
去我的Instagram看看。
Go on my Instagram.
我们在Desus的Instagram上，是Desus Nice，或者k_merrell，每个词之间用下划线连接。
We're on Desus Instagram Instagram plug at Desus Nice or at the k merrell underscore in between each word.
嗯。
Mhmm.
你可以看到照片背景中，克里斯·詹娜正用激光般的死亡凝视盯着我们。
And you can see in the background of the photo, Chris Jenna giving us the laser death stare.
哦，她
Oh, she's
像在盯着我一样
staring at me like
这些人是谁
Like, who are these
这些人是谁？
Who are these ruffians?
一群流氓。
Ruff riff ruffs.
他们为什么要威胁我的摇钱树？
Why are they about to hurt my meal ticket?
你看，而且我不确定她是不是因为我和现在正在说话的那个人长得像才看我的。
See, and also, I don't know if she was looking because I resemble the man who is currently Yo.
她那个深肤色的家伙。
Her the dark skinned peener.
喂。
Yo.
我当时就想，这到底发生什么事了？
If was just like, what the hell is going on?
或者她看着我，说：喂。
Or she was looking at me like, yo.
哦。
Oh.
哦。
Oh.
哇。
Wow.
我退出了。
I spin off.
看啊
See
是的。
Yo.
科里·甘布尔对你来说太慢了，兄弟。
Corey Gamble is slow for you, my nigga.
如果你知道
If you know
我说的是，德斯·尼丝正冲着第一名去呢。
what I'm saying, Desus Nice coming for that number one spot.
让我聊聊卡戴珊家的事。
Let me get on the Kardashians.
然后我们
Then we
哦。
oh.
你们不明白什么叫无知和卖身求荣的层次。
You guys don't understand the levels of cluelery and selling out.
如果我上了卡戴珊家族，你们就会看到。
You will see if I'm on the Kardashian.
你们会看到我穿着那种露脚趾的鞋子。
You'll see me in like No.
我会穿着那种所有脚趾都露在外面的鞋子。
I'll be wearing those those shoes that have all your toes exposed.
我正在
I'm in
我的前脚上。
my front feet.
穿着长筒袜。
With the spats.
哦，天啊。
Oh, man.
还会出现其他卡戴珊，比如密歇根杰伊青蛙那样的。
There's gonna be other Kardashians like Michigan Jay Frog like
我能想象我和凯特琳·詹纳一边喝拿铁，一边在马里布哭泣。
I do see me and Caitlyn Jenner just crying and Malibu over lattes.
那才是狗。
That that's dog.
我就在这条路上。
That's I'm on that lane.
给我吧。
Give it to me.
是的。
Yeah.
当然。
Of course.
我让你。
I'll let yo.
我愿意在电视上让科勒·科代加打我蛋蛋五分钟。
I'll let Khloe Kodega punch me in nuts for five minutes on TV.
哦。
Oh.
只是为了上那个节目。
Just to be on that show.
想象一下我和贾斯特
Just imagine me and Just
为了从我这儿榨取点料
to get the juice from me
和梅罗。
and Mero.
我们会把拉马尔支开。
We're keeping Lamar away.
你知道我在说什么吧？
You know I'm saying?
我正在清理法拉利。
Trying to clean the Ferrari.
我们说，快走开。
We're like, get out of here.
过来。
Get here.
出去。
Out
滚出去，灰尘头。
Get out of here, dust head.
Squeecher man 自八十年代以来就没再火过了。
Squeecher man haven't been popping since the eighties.
别出去。
Don't get out of here.
滚开。
Beat it.
拉马尔·奥多姆刚开始跳街舞。
Lamar Odom just start break dancing.
哦，给
Oh, give
我二十五美分。
me a quarter.
向洛杉矶凯楚亚餐厅前的那位无家可归者致敬。
Shout out to the homeless dude in front of Katsuya in LA.
我刚刚做了个‘哇’。
I just did the Wow.
那是洛杉矶吗？
Is that LA?
那是洛杉矶吗，兄弟？
Is that LA, bro?
那就是那个好莱坞的落点，汤姆。
That was the That Hollywood drop, Tom.
喂，别闹了，兄弟。
Like, yo, Come on, dog.
你根本就不会吃金枪鱼塔塔，伙计。
You don't you don't eat tuna tartare, nigga.
别闹了，朋友。
Stop friend.
喂。
Yo.
他就只是‘喂’了一下。
He just yo.
到这会儿我都不认识你是谁了。
I don't even know who you are at this point.
还记得金·戴维斯那时候说‘喂’吗？
Remember when Kim Davis was like, yo.
给所有拍摄团队打个招呼，别搞砸了。
Shout out to each team on shoot to do rag off.
现在他来了，嘿。
Now he's like, yo.
向马里布大道上新鲜压榨的果汁致敬，嘿。
Shout out yo, shout out to the fresh pressed juices on Malibu Boulevard.
向宫池致敬，他给我制作所有加州卷。
Shout out shout out to Miyake who makes all my California rolls.
是的，兄弟。
Yeah, dog.
我当然会，那些家伙真去了洛杉矶，实实在在地体验了洛杉矶的生活。
I would dog, niggas went to LA and and did the LA thing for real.
真的啊，兄弟。
Really did, dog.
真的。
For real.
真的吗，兄弟。
Like Really, dog.
在外面吃那些素食垃圾。
Out there eating vegan shit.
老兄，我前几天想买一个切碎奶酪三明治，我就问：你们能用花生油吗？
Dawg, I I tried to get a chopped cheese sandwich the other day and I was like, could you use peanut oil?
这个有牛油果吗？
Can you put does this have avocado?
我就问：这是有机的吗？
I was like, is this organic?
这是有机的切碎奶酪三明治吗？
Is this Is this organic chopped cheese?
你们能用本地采购的面包吗？
Can you use locally sourced bread?
我就想：那只吃面包的猫，它平时吃的是什么食物？
I was like, what kind of food is the cat that was eating living on the bread?
她到底吃什么样的食物？
Like, what kind of food does she eat?
而且这东西，算健康吗？
And is this, like, wholesome?
她的饮食里有多少玉米？
How much corn is in her diet?
喂。
Yo.
波比说，你想点什么？
Poppy's like, you wanna get you wanna order?
滚出去
Get the fuck out of
波比，这事儿怎么了？
Poppy, what happened with this?
你说你有这个。
You say you have it.
那是什么？
What is that?
我？什么是胶水东西？
I what what is a glue thing?
波比，你有没有那种莱姆马里塔IPA？
Poppy, do you do you have do you have like a Lime Marita IPA?
我正在尝试
I'm trying
去做你
to do you
有无麸质的莱姆马里塔吗？
have gluten free Lime Maritas?
没有，波比。
No, Poppy.
不。
Uh-uh.
嘿，我拿这个了。
Hey, taking this.
你们接受Apple Pay吗？
Do do you guys take Apple Pay?
你知道的，去便利店想用Apple Pay，结果却遭遇了入室抢劫。
You know, go in the Bodega and try to use Apple PS Apple Pay and see if you don't get the WAD home invasion
别闹了。
Come on.
一周后。
A week later.
你被摔到烤架上去了。
You get a suplex out to the grill.
别人都在用EBT，你却掏出手机想刷卡。
Everyone else is using EBT and you pull out your phone and you're trying to swipe it.
你看起来像个目标。
You're looking like a target.
天哪。
Oh my god.
你还不如直接把口袋翻出来呢。
You might as well just turn your pockets inside out right there.
你就转向便利店里的每个人。
You just turn to everyone in the bodega.
他们会觉得，我有钱。
They're like, I have money.
抢我吧。
Rob me.
求你了。
Please.
来我家吧。
Come to my house.
你知道我住哪儿。
You know where I live.
大家都跟我回家。
Everybody follow me home.
不过还好，那些家伙还是穷光蛋。
It's a good thing niggas are still broke though.
不。
No.
我们就这样了。
We still that's it.
如果你闯进我家，我和你，我会喝杯茶。
If you break into my house, me and you, I'm gonna have a cup of tea.
我会非常平静地坐下来。
I'm gonna be sitting down very calm.
我会说：嘿，你想找钱吗？
I'll be like, yo, you wanna find money?
天哪。
Good god.
我当时说，听着，我们一间房一间房地搜。
I was like, listen, we'll go room to room.
我当时说，
I was like,
我有个罐子，四周后就能去Coinstar兑换成现金。
I got a jar that's going to coin star in four weeks.
听着。
Listen.
你现在想帮我拿着吗？
You wanna carry it now?
我来帮你。
I'll help you.
我就只有这些了。
That's all I got.
嘿，不过你得把手推车带来。
Yo, you gotta bring the hand truck though.
我会说，嘿，你想坐下吗？
I'll be like, yo, you wanna sit down?
我教你HTML。
I'll teach you HTML.
你可以通过这种方式赚钱。
You can get money that way.
我有个朋友，现在醒醒吧。
I have a friend and wake up now.
也许你能把情况搞清楚，但你
Maybe you can get the situate go, but you
别想从我这儿拿到钱。
ain't get no money from me.
嘿，算了，真操蛋。
Yo, well, fuck.
嘿，兄弟。
Yo, dog.
你可以让我带你去ATM机，我输入密码，然后你就开枪打我。
You can ask me to take me to the ATM and I punch in my code, you're gonna shoot me.
你会说：天啊。
You're be like, damn.
我为了做这事浪费了汽油。
I wasted gas doing this.
你肯定会的。
You're gonna yeah.
当你看到我的东西时，你肯定会因为沮丧而狠狠教训我一顿，那样子会像……
You're definitely gonna clap me out of frustration when you look at my a thing and it has It's gonna be like
透支。
overdraft.
负号 lol。
Minus sign l o l.
如果你带我去ATM机，想从我这儿取钱，那我就得向你借钱来还透支，所以……
If you take me to the ATM, like, to get money from me, I'm gonna have to borrow money from you to pay the overdraft so it
能补充我的余额。
could fuel my balance.
明白吗？
Alright?
所以这就是我不推荐你这么做原因。
So that's why I'm not recommending this to you.
明白吗？
Alright?
别被所有运动鞋骗了。
Don't let all the sneakers fool you.
是的。
Yeah.
我知道。
I know.
我还在吃虾春卷。
I'm still eating the shrimp egg rolls.
明白吗？
Alright?
那位女士说：嘿，我在电视上见过你。
The lady's like, yo, I see you on TV.
你为什么还在吃这种垃圾食物？
Why are still eating this garbage food?
因为我跟她说：嘿，我过的生活就是垃圾生活。
Because I'm like, yo, I'm still living a garbage life.
确实如此。
Straight up.
猜猜我昨晚吃的是什么？
Guess what I had for dinner last night?
直接从罐头里吃的谢夫·博亚尔迪。
Chef Boyardee out the can.
这就是我今晚吃的东西。
This is what I have for dinner.
不。
Uh-uh.
后悔。
Regret.
Bodega Boys 第一集。
Bodega Boys episode one.
耶稣，谢谢金·梅罗。
Jesus Nice to Kim Mero.
感谢红牛工作室纽约。
Shout out to Red Bull Studios New York.
没错。
That's right.
在Instagram和Twitter上关注他：r b studios n y。
Follow him on Instagram and Twitter at r b studios n y.
或者访问 www.redbullstudios.com/newyork。
Or go to wwwredbullstudios.combackslashnewyork.
没错。
That's right.
我正照着卡片念呢。
I'm reading this shit off the card.
本来想告诉你们Wi-Fi网络和密码，但网速对你们来说太慢了。
Was about to give y'all the Wi Fi network and the Wi Fi password, but it's slow for you.
如果你们需要的话，就过来吧。
Show up if you need that.
如果有机会的话，来纽约曼哈顿西18街220号吧。
And if you get a chance, come down to 220 West 18th Street in Manhattan.
没错。
That's right.
来Red Bull Studios的场地看看吧。
Come down to the Red Bull Studios space.
我们这里真的有活动在进行，有展览在举办。
We have actual stuff going on, exhibits going on.
我们之前在这儿。
We were down here.
我们看到一朵云，嗯。
We saw a cloud Mhmm.
几个月前。
Couple months back.
它不是
It's no
不再在这儿了。
longer here.
我们穿过了它。
We walked through it.
它在梅罗的Snapchat上。
It's on Mero Snapchat.
没错。
That's right.
这非常鼓舞人心。
It's very inspirational.
它会带你去某个地方。
It'll it'll take you somewhere.
我从未想过，在我生命的某个时刻，我会穿过一朵云。
I never realized that at some point in my life, I would walk through a cloud.
所以过来吧，他们正在布置一些新的酷炫东西。
So come through, they're putting up some new cool stuff.
每当你，你知道的，这是一个艺术空间。
Every, you know, it's an art space.
所以你会看到一些艺术作品。
So you see some art stuff.
为你的生活增添一些格调。
Get some class in your life.
嘿。
Yo.
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