如何打造坚不可摧的韧性 | 第321集

19岁时，我被逮捕了六次。

At 19, I was arrested six times.

我当时身无分文，完全迷失了方向。

I was broke and I was completely lost.

到23岁时，我已经赚到了第一笔一百万。

By 23, I'd made my first million.

现在33岁，我想确切地告诉你我是如何做到的，这样你就可以避免我犯过的同样错误。

And now at 33, I want to tell you exactly how I did it so you can avoid the same mistakes that I made.

所以，如果你准备好加入并超越99%的人，以下是六个可以帮助你真正成功的习惯。

So if you are ready to flock in and get ahead of 99% of people, here are the six habits that you can use to build real well.

第一个习惯：即时满足。

Habit number one, immediate gratification.

如果让你穷困的原因与你的收入无关，而完全在于你对回报的迫切需求呢？

What if the thing keeping you broke has nothing to do with your income and everything to do with how fast you need to be rewarded?

你需要理解这个概念，以免微小的选择控制了你的人生。

You need to understand this concept so you do not let tiny choices control your life.

好的。

Okay.

我永远不会忘记这一点，因为这完全体现了我每天思考的所有内容。

So I will never forget this because this is the epitome of everything I think about on a daily basis.

明白吗？

Okay?

有一项研究进行了。

There was a study done.

这项研究是在斯坦福大学进行的。

It was at Stanford.

心理学家们让学龄前儿童进入一个房间，房间里桌子上放着一颗棉花糖。

There were psychologists and they placed preschoolers into a room with a single marshmallow at the table.

他们被告知：你现在可以吃掉这颗棉花糖，或者等待十五分钟，就能得到两颗棉花糖。

And they were told this, you can eat this now or wait fifteen minutes and you can get two marshmallows.

那么，发生了什么？

So what happened?

好的。

Okay.

有些孩子几秒钟内就拿走了棉花糖。

Some kids grabbed the marshmallow within seconds.

他们说：把我的棉花糖给我。

They were like, give me my marshmallow.

其他孩子则坐立不安。

Other kids, they were like squirming.

他们捂住眼睛。

They cover their eyes.

他们做了各种各样的事情。

They were like doing all this stuff.

他们捏住鼻子，以免闻到棉花糖的香味。

They're holding their nose so they don't smell the marshmallows.

他们能够抵制诱惑。

They could resist temptation.

测试在十五分钟后结束。

The test ended after fifteen minutes.

但这项测试的后续跟踪结果令人震惊。

But the follow-up on this test was crazy.

研究人员跟踪了这些孩子。

So the researchers, they followed those kids.

那些能够忍住等待的孩子，不仅SAT分数更高，几十年后，他们的关系更健康，体重指数更低，职业发展更强劲，收入也更高。

The kids who managed to wait, not only scored higher on their SATs, but decades later, they had healthier relationships, they had lower body mass index, and they had stronger careers and made more money.

这是心理学中最著名的研究之一，因为它揭示了人类一个非常简单却极其深刻的特质：延迟满足的能力。

This is one of the most famous studies in psychology because it revealed something very, very simple, yet very profound about humans, which is the ability to delay gratification.

选择未来的回报而非即时的舒适，一直是、也是未来长期成功最强的预测指标。

Choosing future reward over instant comfort was, is, and was one of the strongest predictors of long term success.

那么，你觉得自己是哪种人？

So who do you think you are?

你会马上吃掉棉花糖吗？

Do you eat the marshmallow right away?

还是你是那种能控制自己行为、延迟满足的人？

Or are you the person that can control their actions and delay gratification?

现在来说点真相。

Now here's the truth.

大多数人追求即时满足，这就是他们穷的原因。

Most people operate on immediate gratification, and that is why they are broke.

这就是他们超重的原因。

That is why they're overweight.

这就是他们得不到理想关系的原因。

That is why they don't have the relationship they want.

他们为了今天的舒适，牺牲了明天的利益。

They optimize for today's comfort at tomorrow's expense.

这也是为什么无论收入高低，78%的美国人都在月光度日的原因。

And this is also why 78% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck, regardless of income.

好吧。

Okay.

我经常对人们这么说。

I tell people this all the time.

我会说，听着，如果你赚得不多而且很穷，即使以后赚很多钱，你还是会很穷。

I'm like, listen, if you don't make a lot of money and you're broke, when you make a lot of money, you're still gonna be broke.

我经常看到这种情况。

I see it all the time.

这是一种习惯。

It is a habit.

这是一种生活方式。

It is a way of being.

这是即时满足。

It is immediate gratification.

你只是会找到更贵的东西来花钱。

You'll just find more expensive to spend your money on.

我记得我年轻时也是这样生活的。

I remember when I was younger and I lived this way.

我每年挣3万美元时是月光族，每年挣8.5万美元时还是月光族。

I lived paycheck to paycheck when I was making $30,000 a year and when I was making $85,000 a year.

那这是为什么呢？

Now, why is that?

因为我当时还不懂这个理念。

Because I did not understand this philosophy yet.

我一直在拿第一颗棉花糖。

I was constantly taking the first marshmallow.

赚得越多，花得越多。

More money, spend more.

对吧？

Right?

好好想想。

Think about it.

很多人都是这样做的。

A lot of people do this.

当我意识到自己不仅收入翻倍，而是三倍增长，却依然过着原来的生活时，我心想：你只会不断找到花钱的理由。

Once I realized that I had not only over, I had tripled my income and I was still living that way, I was like, oh, you're just going to keep finding shit to spend money on.

就在那时，我决定为自己的人生做出不同的选择。

That is when I decided to make a different choice with my life.

我决定，我拥有的每一分钱都变成资本。

I decided that every dollar that I had, it became capital.

它变成了资产。

It became an asset.

而不是用来消费的东西。

It was not something to use to consume things.

与此同时，其他人却在计划周末旅行，购买他们想要的东西，把钱花在头发、美甲、服装上，所有这些开销。

What happened is that while everybody else, they were planning weekend trips, they were buying stuff they wanted, they were spending their money on their hair and their nails, their outfits, all this stuff.

我心想：去他的。

I was like, screw it.

我不在乎了。

I don't, I don't care anymore.

我从救世军商店买东西。

I'm buying stuff from Goodwill.

我去最便宜的地方买食物。

I am going to the cheapest place to buy food.

我不再做头发和化妆了。

I am no longer getting my hair and makeup done.

我正在为我的未来投资。

I am funding my future.

我现在选择等待第二颗棉花糖。

I am now choosing to wait for the second marshmallow.

所以我把短期的牺牲当作我的长期策略。

So I treated short term sacrifice as my long term strategy.

在任何消费之前，问自己一个问题。

Before any purchase, ask yourself one question.

花这笔钱是提升我的自尊，还是摧毁它？

Does spending my money on this build my self respect or break it?

你有没有买过东西之后感觉特别糟糕？

You ever buy something and then you feel gross after?

真的。

Seriously.

你肯定干过这事。

You've done it for sure.

我不是说你去了那种情趣用品店。

I'm not saying you went to, like, the sex toy store.

我是说你买了一样东西，然后为此感到后悔。

I'm saying you bought something and you feel bad that you did it.

你觉得自己明明知道不该花这笔钱。

You feel like you knew you shouldn't have spent that money.

那为什么会这样？

Now why is that?

因为你违背了对自己许下的承诺。

Because you're breaking promises you made to yourself.

你说过要等第二颗棉花糖，但你还是不断买这个东西。

You said you would wait for the second marshmallow, but you keep buying that thing.

现在，你可以问另一个问题：花这笔钱是让我更接近目标，还是让我离目标更远？

Now, another question you could ask, does spending my money on this get me closer to my goals or put me further away from them?

我们需要根据这些问题来买东西，而不是仅仅因为我想买。

We need to buy things based on these questions, not do I want it?

现在打折吗？

Is it on sale?

别人觉得我应该买它吗？

Does somebody else think I should buy it?

我穿上它会看起来很酷吗？

Will I look cool if I wear it?

习惯二：每天检查数字。

Habit number two, check the numbers daily.

对你财富和所拥有的金钱构成最大威胁的，不是你的收入。

The biggest threat to your wealth and how much money you have isn't what you earn.

真正影响你的是你回避的东西。

It is what you avoid.

有一项研究，由行为经济学家进行，他们称之为鸵鸟效应。

There's a study, it's behavioral economists, and they call this the ostrich effect.

人们会刻意回避负面的财务信息，就像鸵鸟把头埋进沙子里一样。

People literally avoid looking at negative financial information the same way that you see an ostrich just buries their head in the sand.

在市场崩盘时，大多数人并没有寻找买入机会，反而会这么做。

During a market crash, instead of looking for opportunities to buy, most people actually do this.

这一点已经被银行追踪到了。

And this is tracked by banks.

他们登录账户的次数减少了。

They log in less.

他们错过了反弹的机会。

They miss rebound.

因为他们不愿面对，结果把自己锁在了长期亏损中。

They lock themselves into long term losses because they don't want to look at it.

有时候股票暴跌时，我知道自己在股市里投了多少钱，我就想，我真不想看。

Sometimes when the stock crashes, and I know how much money I have in the stock market, I'm like, I don't want look at it.

但我又想，你必须得看。

But I'm like, you've got to look at it.

你得知道情况。

You have to know.

因为这是一种行为。

Because it is a behavior.

这是一种习惯。

It's a habit.

这跟钱没关系。

It's not about the money.

这关乎它养成的习惯。

It's about the habit that it creates.

这种行为并不局限于股票。

And this behavior isn't limited to stocks.

大多数人甚至不敢打开账单、信用卡对账单或银行应用，因为他们觉得可能会看到坏消息。

Most people avoid even opening bills, credit card statements, their banking app when they think there's gonna be bad news.

这其中的讽刺非常明显：逃避数字并不能让问题消失。

Now, the irony to this is very obvious, which avoiding the numbers does not make the problem go away.

实际上，这只会让情况变得更糟。

It actually makes it worse.

这就像你一年不称体重，很可能会长胖，因为你无法改善你拒绝面对的事情。

It's like if you don't weigh yourself for a year, you probably get fatter because you cannot improve what you refuse to face.

逃避是有代价的。

And avoidance is expensive.

人们逃避财务问题，就像逃避困难的对话一样，这两种习惯都会让他们变得软弱。

People avoid their finances like they avoid difficult conversations, and both habits keep them weak.

我记得有一次，我的收入很低，工作中的销售额不如往常。

I remember I'd had a low month in terms of I wasn't making as many sales in my job.

我当时正在开车，于是打开了银行应用，因为我意识到自己已经很久没看了，必须得看看。

And I was driving and I pulled my banking app out because I needed to look at it because I realized I hadn't.

然后我开始哭了，心想天啊，我赚的钱太少了。

And then I started crying because I was like, oh my gosh, I am not making enough money.

接着我被警察拦下了，因为用手机开车被开了罚单。

And then I got pulled over and I got a ticket for being on my phone.

我当时就想，就因为查了一下银行App，就被罚了200美元。

And I was like, a $200 ticket for checking my bank app.

我给那个警察看了我的屏幕。

I showed the guy.

我对他说：我真的很穷。

I was like, I'm poor.

我因为穷而哭了出来。

And I was crying for being poor.

你能别给我开罚单吗？

Can you please not give me this ticket?

即使回想起那一刻，对我来说也很重要，因为即使很难，即使很糟，即使我讨厌看这些，我也会死盯着它，直到我改变现状。

Even remembering a moment like that, it's important to me because even though it's hard, even though it sucks, even though I hate looking at it, I'm going to fucking look at it until I change it.

那就是我开始掌控自己的生活和财务的时候。

That's when I got control over my life and control over my finances.

你无法管理你无法衡量的东西。

You cannot manage what you don't measure.

如果你观察富裕人士，会发现他们有一个一致的行为。

And if you look at wealthy individuals, there is one consistent behavior.

他们对此进行细致的追踪。

They track that meticulously.

我可以告诉你，我现在追踪一切开销。

I will tell you that I track everything now.

事实上，我现在有钱了，反而比以前穷的时候更节俭。

In fact, I am cheaper now that I am rich than I was when I was poor.

因为要达到这个地步，你会意识到第一点：赚钱有多难。

It's because to get there, you realize one, how hard it is to make money.

第二点：如果你不知道钱都花到哪里去了，你就无法持续地为自己提供资源。

Two, that if you don't know where all the money goes, then you're not constantly able to resource yourself.

因此，最富有的1%的人比中等收入者更清楚自己的确切财务数据。

So the wealthiest 1%, they know their exact numbers more than middle income earners.

而且他们有更多账户，所以没有任何借口。

And they got more account, so there's no excuse.

接下来你要这么做。

So here's what you're going do.

你每天都要打开你的银行账户，持续三十天，记录每一笔交易，训练你的大脑。

You're going to open your bank account every day for thirty days, record every transaction, train your brain.

这种财务现实是可以掌控的。

That financial reality is manageable.

它并不是一种威胁。

It is not a threat.

刚开始会觉得很糟糕，然后没那么糟糕，最终不再糟糕，反而会感觉很好，因为你意识到自己正在成为想成为的人。

It will feel shitty and then less shitty and eventually not shitty, then it'll feel good because you realize that you are being the person you want be.

这就引出了第三个习惯：彻底的责任感。

Which brings me to habit number three, radical responsibility.

你会想，天哪，这可不是一夜暴富的方法。

You're like, oh my gosh, this is not a get rich quick.

没错，因为根本不可能一夜暴富。

No, it's not because you cannot get rich quick.

明白吗？

Okay?

这个世界上有两种人。

There are two types of people in this world.

一种认为生活是发生在他们身上的，另一种则相信是他们让事情发生。

The ones who believe that life happens to them versus those that believe they make things happen.

这就是为什么有些人从失败中变得更强大，而另一些人却彻底垮掉。

This is why some people rise up stronger from failure while other people just collapse underneath of it.

我二十多岁时意识到，责备是进步的敌人。

Something I realized in my twenties is that blame is the enemy of improvement.

当我犯下早期商业错误时，我雇错了人。

When I make and made early business mistakes, I hired the wrong people.

我有一次失败的发布。

I had a failed launch.

我错失了机会。

I missed opportunities.

我把一些人留在公司太久了。

I kept people in my business too long.

我卖给了错误的客户。

I sold to the wrong customers.

我的第一反应是寻找外部原因。

My first instinct was to find external reasons.

然后我想起有一次和我的一位导师谈话。

And then I remember talking one time to one of my mentors.

他说，莱拉，责怪你的客户对你和你的团队都没有任何好处。

He said, Laila, you gain nothing and your team gains nothing by blaming your customer.

在那之后，我意识到——这对我影响很大——如果我不承担责任，我也就失去了力量。

And what I realized after that, and really like impacted me a lot, if I'm not responsible, I'm also not powerful.

我也不是那个能解决它的人。

And I'm also not the one who can solve it.

指责给你理由，但拥有责任感并承担责任才能让你掌控局面并采取行动。

Blame gives you reasons, but having ownership and taking responsibility gives you control over doing something about the situation.

因此，这让我把每一次失败都视为数据。

And so what that did is it allowed me to look at every failure as data.

每一个错误都是关于下次该怎么做不同的指引，因为我能对此采取行动。

Every mistake is an instruction as to what to do differently next time, because I can do something about it.

在心理学中，这被称为控制点。

Now in psychology, this is called the locus of control.

具有内在控制点的人相信他们能塑造自己在世界中的结果。

People with an internal locus believe that they shape their outcomes in the world.

而具有外在控制点的人则认为命运、他人或外界力量决定了会发生什么。

Whereas people that have an external locus believe that fate or other people or powers outside of themselves decide what happens.

因此，相信自己掌握主动权不仅改变你的思维模式，也改变你的成果，因为它决定了你在困难时愿意付出多少努力。

So believing you're in charge does not just change your mindset, it changes your results because it determines how much effort you're willing to put in when things get hard.

因为如果你觉得一切都取决于别人，你觉得你会有多努力呢？

Because if you believe it's all up to other people, how hard do you think you're going to try?

不会太努力。

Not that hard.

所以接下来，你要写下生活中最近两次严重出错的事情。

So here's how you're going to form this document the last two things that significantly went wrong in your life.

这些事情可能很糟糕。

And these might be bad.

它们可能非常糟糕。

They might be really bad.

我理解。

I understand that.

对于每一件事，都要找出你对此结果的具体贡献。

For each one, identify your specific contribution to this outcome.

我只想让你问自己：我是如何促成这种情况的？

I just want you to ask, how did I contribute to this situation?

我对这种情况负有什么责任？

How am I responsible for this situation?

相信我，我知道，因为我经历过一些糟糕透顶的情况。

And trust me, I know because I have had some situations that are fucked up.

接下来，你可以把曾经让你感到无能为力、像受害者一样的情况，转变为让自己成为胜利者，并决定成为那个能采取行动的人。

Then what you can do is now you've taken a situation that you felt powerless and you felt like a victim, and you've made yourself the victor, and you've decided to be the person that can do something about it.

习惯四。

Habit number four.

先做困难的事。

Do the hard things first.

我知道这话听着很难受，但你的大脑天生就倾向于把能量浪费在错误的事情上，而且它天生就爱偷懒。

I know that this sucks to hear, but your brain is wired to waste energy on all the wrong things, and it is wired to be lazy.

我们的大脑天生就爱偷懒。

We are wired to be lazy.

人们总是说：‘天哪，Layla，别等准备好了再行动。’

People are always like, oh my gosh, Layla, like, don't feel ready.

我觉得懒洋洋的。

I feel lazy.

我觉得我什么都不想了解。

I feel like I don't want to know shit.

这正是我们该做的。

That's all we're supposed to do.

我们的身体希望节省能量。

Our bodies want to conserve energy.

我们的大脑希望节省能量。

Our brains want to conserve energy.

你的大脑总会寻找最轻松的路径，因为你的本性就是这样。

Your brain will always look for the easiest route because that is what you are wired for.

你没什么问题，朋友。

There's nothing wrong with you, my friend.

我们所有人都是这样被设计的。

This is how we're all wired.

当我开始每天先处理最难的任务时，其他所有事情都变得容易应对了。

The moment that I started leading with the hardest tasks each day, everything else felt manageable.

从那以后，动力就成了我每天的常态。

And momentum was like a daily norm after that.

这实际上始于我减肥的时候，我当时对自己说：我要每天早上5点起床锻炼。

It actually started when I was losing weight because I said, I will make myself work out at 5AM every day.

我心想：我讨厌5点起床，也讨厌锻炼，根本不想做这件事，但我还是决定：每天一早就先做最难的事。

I was like, I hate getting up at 5AM and I hate working out and I don't want to do this, but I was like, I will do the hardest thing first at the very beginning of my day.

如果你观察那些高绩效者和拥有你想要的生活的人，他们会趁着大脑资源最充沛的时候处理复杂任务。

And if you look at high performers and people who have what you want in life, what they do is they tackle complexity when their mental resources are strongest.

就连我自己也知道，我下午四点或五点之后就不再做决定了。

Even for myself, I know I am not making decisions past four or 5PM.

我的团队都知道，他们会问我问题。

My team knows, they will ask me a question.

我会说：我会想办法回避这个问题。

I'll be like, I will find a way to deflect the question.

我会说，我明天再回复你。

I'll be like, let me come back to you tomorrow.

让我想想这个问题。

Let me think about that.

那为什么呢？

Now why is that?

因为我能看出来，哎，你现在没那么清醒。

Cause I can measure them like, ah, you're not that sharp right now.

高绩效者并不会比别人更清醒更久。

High performers, they're not going to be sharper longer than somebody else.

他们只是知道什么时候自己状态不好，于是推迟决策。

They just know when they're not and to delay the decision.

而普通绩效者则会推迟那些困难的、需要付出大量努力的事情，拖到一天晚些时候，直到变成危机，直到他们再也无法回避。

Now what average performers do is they delay difficulty and all the things that take hard work until later in the day, until it becomes a crisis, until they absolutely can't move forward without doing it.

如果你看这个视频时，可能有人比你更早，他的名字叫布莱恩·特雷西，是他普及了这个理念。

There's somebody that's probably before your time, if you're watching this video, but his name was Brian Tracy, he popularized this idea.

我至今都记得这个说法，叫做‘吃掉那只青蛙’。

And I remember it to this day, which is called eat the frog.

它的核心理念是这样的。

The premise is this.

如果你每天早上都必须吃掉一只活青蛙，也许还是一只蟾蜍，因为它们更恶心，那么一天剩下的时间都会觉得轻松得多。

If you had to eat a live frog every morning, maybe a toad, because they're even more disgusting, the rest of the day would feel easy in comparison.

比如你早上醒来，必须吃掉一只真正的活青蛙，它还在你嘴里扑腾，对吧？

Like if you woke up and you had to eat an actual frog every morning, like it's live, the thing's like flapping in your mouth, right?

其他所有事情都会让你觉得，天啊，这太简单了。

Everything else would be like, dude, it's a breeze.

我今天早上已经吃掉那只青蛙了。

I ate a frog this morning.

那只青蛙代表你最难、最有价值的任务。

That frog represents your hardest, highest leverage task.

好的。

Okay.

就是你一直回避、但最能推动你人生前进的那件事，因为我们知道吃青蛙非常有效。

The one that you would avoid, but that would move your life forward the most because we know eating frogs is powerful.

所以这个原则简单却强大。

So the principle is simple but powerful.

好的。

Okay.

成功属于那些愿意在做任何其他事情之前先吞下最难啃的那口食物的人。

Success belongs to people who are willing to swallow the hardest bite before anything else.

接下来，我告诉你如何将这个习惯付诸行动。

So here's how you're going to take action on this habit.

好的。

Okay.

找出一件你一直回避的、非常具有挑战性的事情。

Identify something you've been avoiding because it's really challenging.

也许是你明天必须完成的事情。

Maybe it's something you have to do tomorrow.

也许是你下周必须做的事情。

Maybe it's something you have to do next week.

也许是你一直萦绕在心头、半夜醒来都会想到的事情。

Maybe it's something that's been lingering in the back of your head that you like wake up in the middle the night thinking about.

就是那种事情。

It's one of those things.

对吧？

Right?

现在，我们要计划明天一早就去做它。

Now, we're gonna plan to do it first thing tomorrow morning.

我们要在查看邮件、Slack、Instagram、Facebook、WhatsApp、Signal之前完成它。

We are going to execute it before you check your email, your Slack, your Instagram, your Facebook, your WhatsApp, your signal.

我不知道你用什么，但在做任何其他事之前，你先做这件事。

I don't know what you use, but before everything, you're just going to do that.

而且你要说，除非做完这件事，否则我什么都不允许做。

And you're going to say, I am not allowed to do anything else until it's done.

先做困难的事。

Do the hard thing first.

其次奖励自己。

Reward yourself second.

习惯五。

Habit number five.

选择技能而非身份象征。

Choose skills over status symbols.

事实是，只有穷人才花钱装成功。

This is the truth is that only broke people spend money trying to look successful.

好的。

Okay.

钱本质上有两种功能。

Money has essentially two functions.

一种是信号传递，一种是积累。

There's signaling and there's building.

就是这样。

That's it.

这就像是，你要么用钱来构建一些东西。

It's like either you're building stuff with your money.

它是一种用来构建其他东西的工具。

It is a tool that you use to build something else.

或者它是一种信号。

Or it's a signal.

你用它来向别人展示你确实拥有这些钱。

You're using it to show people that you actually have them.

关键是这样。

Here's the thing.

研究人员发现，当人们对自己的社会地位感到不确定时，他们更有可能购买奢侈品、衣服、手表、汽车等所有这些东西。

Researchers have found that when people feel uncertain about where they stand socially, they become more likely to buy luxury items, clothes, watches, cars, all these things.

但这并不是因为它们真的需要这些。

Now it's not because they need them.

这是因为他们想向他人传递自己的价值。

It's because they want to signal worth to other people.

这是很正常的。

And this is normal.

你不会去追求地位。

You wouldn't seek status.

这并不意味着你有什么问题，或者你低人一等。

This is not like there's something wrong with you, or you're lesser than.

我也是这样。

I'm the same way.

我的意思是，我确实会穿一些我喜欢的衣服和饰品。

I mean, clearly I wear things and I have clothing that I like.

对吧？

Right?

但你需要明白的是这一点。

But what you need to realize is this.

地位型消费会贬值。

Status purchases depreciate them.

所以，如果你想变得富有，这些东西不会增加你的财富。

So if you're trying to become wealthy, these things are not going to add to your wealth.

它们不会相互累积。

They're not going to build upon each other.

而知识、才能和技能则是增值资产。

Whereas knowledge and talent and skills are appreciating assets.

如果你提升自己的品格，发展自己的技能，这些东西会随着时间变得更好。

If you build on your character, if you build on your skill sets, like those things are going to get better with time.

它们会变得更强大。

They're going to be bigger.

你会拥有更多。

You're going to have more of them.

我知道，投资少量金钱在技能上看起来很可怕，因为你是在押注自己，我理解这种感受。

And I know that it seems scary to invest a small amount of money in skills because it's like you're betting on yourself and I get it.

我曾经也这样过。

I have been there.

但那是你能做的最好的事情。

But that is the best thing that you can do.

我记得我买的第一件东西，也是我这辈子买过最贵的东西。

I remember the first purchase I made, biggest purchase I ever made.

我当时22岁，终于存了5000美元在银行里。

I was 22, and I finally had $5,000 in my bank account, like saved.

我当时想买一门课程。

And I had this course I wanted to buy.

那门课要3000美元，我买了它，然后你猜我后来明白了什么？

It was $3,000 And I bought that course, and then you know what I realized?

这门课分第一部分和第二部分。

There was a part one to part two.

我买了第二部分。

I bought part two.

我开始看那个视频。

I started watching the thing.

我当时想，他们在讲什么？

I was like, are they talking about?

然后我心想，天哪。

And then I was like, oh my God.

那时候，这已经是十年前的事了。

At that time, this was, you know, decade ago.

那时候没有客户服务。

There was no customer support.

也没有人说你可以换货。

There was no, you're going swap this.

我当时想，你知道这教会了我什么吗？

I was like, I'm You know what it taught me?

一定要再三确认。

Always double check.

但那时我所做的，是停止了为外界的认可而优化。

But what I did do at that point is I stopped optimizing for external validation.

我开始为内在的成长而优化。

I started optimizing for my internal growth.

因为真正的自信，不是来自你穿的衣服、拥有的珠宝，或你的发型和妆容。

Because real confidence, it does not come from the clothes you wear, from the jewelry you own, or from how you do your hair and makeup.

它来自你内心对自己的感受。

It comes from how you feel about yourself inside.

我向你保证。

I promise that.

我两者都有。

I have both things.

如果你没有这种内在的自信，这些都不重要。

This doesn't matter if you don't have this.

所以，接下来你要怎么做？把你原本花在这些无谓的面子消费上的钱，先问自己一个问题。

So here's what you're going to do with the money that you didn't spend on this stupid Before any status purchase, ask yourself this.

这些建设的是你的能力，还是你的形象？

Is this building my capability or my image?

如果是形象，就把这笔钱重新分配到能力上。

If it's image, redirect that money towards capability.

将你收入的20%用于教育，或购买更多时间来投资你的技能。

Allocate 20% of your income to either education or buying more time back to invest in your skills.

如果你能每月只花20美元投资于能倍增你产出的技能或系统，那就是一笔值得的投资。

If you can just do $20 towards skills or systems that will multiply your output, that is a worthwhile investment to make.

现在来看第六个习惯。

Now habit number six.

我要你主动制造不适感。

I want you to manufacture discomfort.

好的。

Okay.

你抗拒去做的事情，往往正是能解锁你最大成长的关键。

The things that you resist doing are always the things that will unlock your biggest growth.

现在来说重点。

Now here's the thing.

人们总是说：我不知道。

People are like, I don't know.

不适其实只是一种信息。

Discomfort is actually just information.

它告诉你哪里还有成长的空间。

It tells you where you have room to grow.

所以人们说他们想变得更好，但却不想感到不适。

So it's like people say they want to get better, but then they don't want be uncomfortable.

这就像是说：那你其实并不想变得更好，因为要想变得更好，你就必须经历不适。

It's like, well, then you don't want to get better because in order to get better, you have to be uncomfortable.

选择艰难事物的人，最终更能应对生活中那些不期而至的困难。

People who choose hard things end up handling life's unwanted hard things far better.

所以，如果你主动追求艰难的事物——比如进行高强度训练、进行艰难的对话、做让你害怕的事情——你就是在训练你的大脑，把压力重新解读为好事，而不是威胁。

So if you pursue hard things, you do a hard workout, you have a hard conversation, you do something that scares you, you are training your brain to reframe that stress as a good thing instead of a threat.

所以你的大脑突然意识到，压力带来成长，而不是压力导致失败、死亡、被杀。

So suddenly your brain says, Oh, stress leads to growth, rather than stress leads to fail, die, be killed.

对吧？

Right?

因为我们的旧有落后系统认为压力等于坏事，快跑，恐慌。

Because our old outdated system thinks stress equals bad, run away, guts.

如果你去参加派对，没人跟你说话，你又不会死。

If you go to a party and people don't talk to you, like, you're not going to die.

我知道有时候感觉像要命一样，但你真的不会死。

I know sometimes it feels like an inside, but like, you're not going to die.

你会没事的。

You're going be fine.

所以，你能向这种不适迈进的最重要方式，就是审视你的环境。

So the biggest way that you can move forward towards that discomfort is to audit your environment.

想想看。

Think about this.

如果你周围的人都和你水平相当或更低，你觉得你会走向哪里？

If everyone around you operates at your level or below, where do you think you're going?

你身边的人都是没有参照标准的。

The people around you are unthermometered.

你需要主动让自己置身于那些让你感到准备不足和不舒服的环境中，因为这意味着你将会成长。

You need to intentionally place yourself in rooms where you feel underprepared and uncomfortable, because that means that you're going to grow.

很多人会回避，他们会说：哦，那个人自大得很。

A lot of people avoid They're like, Oh, that person, they've got an ego.

他们太强势了。

They're too intense.

你刚才告诉我的是，你其实只是对那个人感到不适，因为他们拥有你还没有的东西。

They're too What you told me right now is that you're actually just uncomfortable with that person because they have something that you don't yet have.

他们拥有某种让你感到不安的层次。

They have a level of something that makes you uncomfortable.

这并不是坏事。

That's not a bad thing.

如果你从这里只记住一件事，那就是财富不是靠运气积累的。

And if you take anything from this, let it be that wealth is not built by luck.

财富是通过每天选择那些与财富无关的习惯、用舒适换取成长来积累的。

It is built by choosing habits that have nothing to do with wealth, that trade comfort for growth every single day.