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怎么了，老爹帮？
What is up, daddy gang?
我是你们的开国元勋亚历克斯·库珀，欢迎收听《叫她爸爸》。
It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy.
老爹。
Daddy.
老爹。
Daddy.
约翰。
John
梅耶，欢迎来到《叫她爸爸》。
Mayer, welcome to Call Her Daddy.
谢谢你，亚历克斯。
Thank you, Alex.
你能来我太开心了。
I am so happy you're here.
约翰，我觉得我们得告诉爸爸们，我的听众们，我们是怎么走到这一步的？
John, I think we need to tell the daddy gang who are my listeners, how did we get here?
因为前几天我们去吃了一顿小晚餐，我想聊聊那顿晚餐发生了什么，因为人们可能都在想，你怎么能让约翰·梅尔上你的节目？
Because we went to a little dinner the other night, and I wanna kinda go through what happened at that dinner because people are probably like, how did you get John Mayer to come on your show?
只有一种方式，那就是亲自找到我，和我共进晚餐，保持酷劲，而且你真的是一个极其出色的节目推介者。
There's only one way which is to find me personally, have dinner with me, be cool, and you're actually an incredible pitch woman for coming on the show.
我其实并没有打算上你的节目。
And I I didn't really have an intention of coming on.
我们那晚吃了一顿很棒的晚餐，有卡西、大卫，还有你和我。
We had a great dinner, Cassie, David, you and me.
我觉得每年十二月都有点特别，因为你一整年都做自己，遵循自己的规则，做你平常做的事，不做你平常不做的事。
And I think there's something to do with December where you've all year been yourself, followed your rules, done what you normally do, don't do what you don't normally do.
我觉得每年快到年底的那几周，我就会想：我想做点出格的事。
And I think somewhere in the last couple weeks of each year I go like, I wanna do something out of character.
我太开心了，你认为和我坐下来聊天就是‘出格’的事，因为你确实向我推销了为什么你应该来参加这个节目。
I'm so happy this is what you're calling out of character and you get to sit down with me because I, yeah, I pitched you like why you should come on the show.
嗯。
Yeah.
你和我争了一会儿，卡西坐在那儿吃着薯片，乐得不行。
And you and I kind of like battled for a minute, Cassie's sitting there like eating her chips, like loving every second of it.
真有趣。
Funny.
她终于被甩了，我真替她高兴。
Just being so happy that she's been out dated.
嗯。
Yeah.
那是一场辩论。
It a was a debate.
你最终决定上节目。
And you decided to come on.
我喜欢那次晚餐见面时你的自信。
What I liked about that meeting at dinner was that you are very sure of yourself.
你一直这么自信吗？
Have you always been that confident?
你高中时是什么样子的？
Like what were you like in high school?
哦，我一直都有一些自信。
Oh, that's I've had some degree of confidence.
嗯。
Mhmm.
要离开我的小镇，走进这个世界，对抗那些不仅不鼓励我、反而积极阻止我做我现在所做之事的人，我必须有这种自信。
It took that to get out of my town, to get into the world, to push against the forces of people who were saying, not just not encouraging me, but actively discouraging me from doing what I ultimately have done.
因此，这种自信的特质已经从最初那种撞开每扇门、不断强迫自己出现在别人面前，转变为一种更加放松的状态。
And so the quality of that confidence has changed from like a beat down every door, push yourself on people as much as you can all the time to something way more relaxed.
嗯。
Mhmm.
所以每个人刚开始时，都会比实际需要的更加自信。
So everyone when they first start out is way more confident than they than they need to be.
因为他们不知道自己需要有多自信。
Because they don't know how confident they need to be.
对吧？
Right?
哦，有意思。
Oh, interesting.
所以我年轻的时候有点烦人。
And so I was kind of obnoxious when I was younger.
我的意思是，你整个青春都在对抗那些‘你做不到’、‘你疯了’、‘你最终会流落街头’、‘这主意太糟了’的声音，这种负面影响会长期持续，让你一直不停地向前冲。
I mean, you're spending your whole youth pushing against these forces of you can't do it, you're crazy, you're gonna end up on the street, this is a terrible idea, that's gonna have a hangover effect on you for a long time where you're gonna still keep pushing.
这真的很有趣，因为我能想象，我问高中时期的事，是因为我觉得我们都能认同，青春期是塑造自我认知的关键阶段，那时同伴的认可对自我看法至关重要。
That's really interesting because I can imagine like I was why I'm asking about high school is because I feel like we can agree that there's such formative years where peer approval socially is so important towards the way that you view yourself.
没错。
Yeah.
你当时和别人相处得怎么样？别人是怎么对待你的？
How did you get along with people and how did people treat you?
我没有，他们也没有。
I didn't, and they didn't.
我没有存在感。
I didn't have a presence.
我去学校只是为了早点熬完，我的生活从下午3点开始，那时我回家弹吉他。
I went to school to get it over with, and my life began at 03:00 in the afternoon when I came home and played guitar.
所以我并不讨厌任何人，我几乎也不需要那种程度的认同。
So I didn't dislike anybody, and I almost didn't even need that particular level of approval.
我几乎是隐形的，只是默默上学。
I was kind of invisible and I just went to go.
我在课堂上根本没怎么认真听讲。
I didn't really pay attention in class.
这真的很难解释。
It's it's really hard to explain.
有一些人，我认为当你13岁的时候，你还要等五年才能真正独立做任何事。
And there are people out there who I think would understand when you're 13 years old, you got five years before you can even do anything on your own.
从13岁到高中毕业，那是我一生中最艰难的部分，因为你已经知道自己知道什么，却还得被迫走完这套为所有人设定好的机械流程。
And those are that was the hardest part of my entire life was from 13 to getting out of high school because you already know what you know and you have to go through the rest of this kind of rote plan that's been set for everyone.
我记得坐在教室里，心里想着：我不该在这里。
And I remember sitting in class going like, I'm not supposed to be here.
对。
Right.
所以你是说，你知道自己想做什么？
Like you so you're saying you knew what you wanted to do.
你知道自己会成为一名音乐人。
You knew you were gonna be a musician.
你心里想：我为什么要在社会课上？
You're like, why am I in social studies?
我到底在这儿干什么？
Like, what the fuck am I doing here?
有人欺负你吗？
Did people bully you?
你当时是那种书呆子音乐家吗？
Like, were you the, like, dorky musician or no?
我确实被欺负过一点，但我一直挺高的。
I was bullied a little bit, but I was always kinda big.
我个子很高。
I was tall.
好吧。
Okay.
我记得因为一缩身就被打了一拳。
I remember getting punched in the arm for flinching.
我不知道现在还有没有这种事。
I don't know if you've if that's still a thing.
你这节目到现在为止最硬核了。
This is the most butch your show has ever been.
我在跟
I'm talking to
我喜欢这个。
I love it.
和你聊关于
Talking to you about
圣诞特辑。
Christmas special.
我们还好。
Were okay.
你高中时约会过吗？
Did you date in high school?
我高中时有一个女朋友，但其实没怎么约会。
I had one girlfriend in high school, but I didn't really date.
我高中时有一个女朋友。
I had one girlfriend in high school.
你高中时约会是什么样子的？约翰高中时约会是什么样？
What were you like in like what was John like in high school dating?
可能是我人生中最棒的自己。
Probably the best version I ever was of myself.
我希望那是最好的自己，而下一次会是更好的自己。
I would like to think that was the best version and the next time is the best version.
在我人生发生巨变之前，我只谈过一次恋爱。
I only had one girlfriend before everything changed in my life.
对我来说，最真实、最纯真、最真实、最甜蜜的，就是高中时期。
To me, like, the truest, most innocent, realest, like, sweetest, it was high school.
你有没有因为成名而想过要重新联系她？
Did you ever, through your fame, wonder if you should reach back out?
我确实试着重新联系过几次。
I did reach back out a few times.
因为你是在寻找什么？
Because you were looking for what?
也许是为了把那段生活带入我新的人生阶段。
Maybe to bring that part of my life into the new part of my life.
嗯。
Yeah.
但到那时，她已经结婚生子了，我觉得那是我人生中一个独立的章节，或者说我生命中的那段经历已经翻篇了。
But by that point, she was married and had kids and I thought, that's a separate chapter or or or that thing in my life was a separate chapter.
我不需要和人交谈就知道我很好，我们都没事。
I don't have to talk to people to know that I'm I'm okay, that we're okay.
嗯。
Yeah.
我觉得这是心灵感应。
I think that's telepathic.
我喜欢你在晚餐时说的那句话，就是生活中有些人，你不再需要出现在他们的生活里，但当你和他们有一种默契时，真的很棒——无论是前伴侣，还是曾经的朋友，你只需要知道，我们不需要说话也知道彼此都很好。
I liked you said that at dinner, just something about like, there's certain people in your life that you don't need to be in their life anymore, but it's really cool when you have a mutual understanding, whether it's an ex, whether it's someone that was your friend at some point, to just be like, we don't need to talk to know like, we're good.
我们
We're
很好。
alright.
我们不再联系了，不管出于什么原因，但彼此心照不宣。
We don't talk anymore for whatever reason, but like mutual.
嗯。
Yeah.
我的意思是，可能还有一些未了结的小事还在心头萦绕。
I mean, are a couple little outstanding still vibrating things.
嗯。
Yeah.
我真希望能彻底了结一切。
I would love to get to a 100% closure.
我认为在任何人的生活中，这都不太现实。
I don't think that's realistic in anyone's life.
你生活中有没有这样一个人，关系永远都会是不完整的？
Do you have someone in your life that it's always gonna be incomplete?
嗯。
Yeah.
我觉得每个人都有那么几个这样的人。
I think everyone has a couple of those.
但大部分时候，对我来说，重要的是在步入成年生活的过程中，能够带着一种平和的心态：我们很好，不必再联系。
But for the most part, it's been important for me to move on into my adult years in my life with the peace of like, we're cool, we don't have to talk.
好的。
Okay.
我们即将离开高中，因为我正在经历你的这段旅程。
So we're about to leave high school because I'm just kinda going through the journey of you.
是的。
Yes.
你在高中毕业典礼上表演了。
You performed at your high school graduation.
是的，我表演了。
Yes, I did.
那时候人们对你好吗？
Were people nice to you then or no?
嗯。
Yeah.
那正是我开始展现自己作为吉他手的时候，我当时在一支乐队里，我们写了几首歌。
That was right around the time where I started to reveal myself as a guitar player and I had put I was in a band and we'd written a couple songs.
所以我们为毕业典礼写了一首歌。
So we'd written a song for graduation.
但我实际上并没有在那场典礼上毕业。
I didn't actually graduate at that ceremony.
因为我学分不够，没能毕业。
So I didn't get enough credits to graduate.
我得去上暑期学校。
I had to go to summer school.
所以，在朋友们毕业离场时，我演奏了那首歌，然后独自走回家，那是一个非常深刻的时刻。
And so it was a very deep moment to play that song and walk off the field while the rest of my friends graduated and I walked home.
好的。
Okay.
但为了让每个人都知道
But just so everyone knows
这有多蓝调啊？
How bluesy is that?
六年后，你拿了格莱美奖
Six years later, you're a Grammy
这个获奖
This winning
这部分让我很害怕。
part freaks me out.
从时间顺序上说，这部分可能是我生活中唯一真正让我震惊的事情。
Chronologically speaking, this part is maybe one of the only aspects of my life that truly blows my mind.
为什么？
Why?
因为那段时间虽然很短，但对我来说却感觉特别漫长。
Because it's such a short period of time that felt longer to me.
我1995年毕业，就在那年6月之后，我已经在大型场馆演出。
I was I graduated in 1995 and June later, I had I was playing arenas.
你知道，那时候我还在俱乐部演出，刚发行了一张专辑，后来那张专辑赢得了格莱美奖，那才过了六年。
You know, at that point I was playing clubs, I had an album out and that would end up winning Grammys and that was six that was six years.
所以你得去上暑期学校根本就他妈的不重要。
So it didn't really fucking matter that you had to go to summer school.
你心里想的是：我甚至根本不需要毕业。
You're like, I I didn't even need to graduate.
而且
And
而我现在总在想，有些人被贴上了怪胎、失败者的标签，甚至被认定为某种发育迟缓的人。
and you know what I always think now is like, there are people who get branded misfit, loser, you know, know, in some way sort of developmentally disabled.
不，他们不是。
No, they're not.
他们只是走在一条学校里没有对应路径的其他轨道上，你知道吗？
They're on some other track that they have no school for, you know?
我喜欢你这么说，因为这让我想起你之前说的，我当时坐在那间教室里，明明知道自己不该在那里，但我不得不待着，我试过了。
I love that you're saying that too because it goes back to what you said of like, I was sitting in that class and I knew I wasn't supposed to be there but I had to be I tried
歌词。
the lyrics.
听到你说，大学毕业六年后，我竟然因为《Your Body Is A Wonderland》拿到了格莱美奖，这对我来说太疯狂了。
It's interesting to hear you say like, it's so crazy to me that six years after I graduate college, I'm winning a Grammy for Your Body Is A Wonderland.
你写这首标志性歌曲的时候，正在和某人约会，对吧？
You were dating someone at the time that you're writing this iconic song which
不，我没有。
No, I wasn't.
你没有吗？
You weren't?
没有。
No.
那首歌是关于我的初恋女友的。
That was about my first girlfriend.
等等。
Wait.
是关于
Was about
那种感觉，我认为那时已经有点怀旧了。
the feeling, which I think was already sort of nostalgic.
我写这首歌时21岁，却在怀念16岁时的感觉。
Was 21 when I wrote that song and I was nostalgic for being 16.
我以为这首歌是关于另一个
I thought it was about a different
不，这种事情就是人们自然而然地形成了这种想法，并且多年来不断被强化。
No, that's one of those things where people just sort of form that idea, it gets reinforced over the years.
不，不，不。
No, no, no.
我写这首歌时从未见过任何名人。
I had never met a celebrity when I wrote that song.
等等，你高中女友知道你写这首歌是关于她的吗？
Wait, and did your high school girlfriend know you wrote that about her?
这是个好问题。
That's a good question.
也许她不知道。
Maybe maybe she didn't.
也许她不知道。
Maybe she didn't.
直到今天吗？
To this day?
直到今天，也许她还是不知道。
To this day, maybe she didn't.
嗯。
Yeah.
所以，如果你曾是我高中时唯一的一位女友，那这首歌其实写的就是你。
So if you were my high my one and only high school girlfriend, that was actually about you.
歌曲创作中经常发生这种情况。
And this happens a lot with songs.
对吧？
Right?
所以我定下了一个规矩。
So I've made a rule.
我想我一直有个原则，就是从不告诉任何人我写歌不是关于人的。
I guess I always had a rule that I would never tell anyone what's I don't write songs about people.
我不是为某人或关于某人写歌。
I don't write them for people or about people.
我可能会利用一段关系来激发创作灵感。
I might use a relationship that inspires me to write something.
所以，即使我因为某人而写歌，那种联系也会消失，留下的只有歌曲本身。
So yeah, even if I was writing a song because of someone, it's like that goes away and I'm left with the song.
因此，我不喜欢告诉别人某首歌是关于谁的，因为大多数时候根本不是，而且这会让人偏离自己的感受，他们只是在想象我写的是谁。
So I'm not, I don't like telling anyone that a song is about somebody because most of the time it's not, and it takes people away from themselves because they're just visualizing who I'm writing about.
但歌曲出来了，它们对人们有意义，有时人们认为它写的是某个人，有时这会伤害到歌曲。
But the songs come out, they mean things to people, sometimes people think it's about one person or another, sometimes it hurts the song.
是的。
Yeah.
有时候歌曲表现不佳，因为人们会说，他只是小心眼。
Sometimes the song doesn't do as well because people go, well, he's just petty.
我会说，这和那完全没关系。
And I go, that's got nothing to do with that.
但我更愿意保持这些歌曲的纯粹性，即使有几首因为人们误以为是写给某个人而被冷落，我也在所不惜。
But I'd much rather keep the sanctity of these songs intact and have a couple of them, kind of burn a couple of them because people think it's about one person and it's not.
因为这真的很重要。
Because it's really important.
我现在生活中最重要的事，就是我的歌曲。
The most important thing in my life now is, are my songs.
嗯。
Yep.
所以现在当我演奏歌曲时，我看到观众中的人们在重温他们的生活。
And so when I go play songs now, I'm playing songs that I see people in the crowd are reliving their life.
这与任何人无关，只与我正在演唱的这些人有关。
It ain't about anyone but the people I'm singing to.
这关乎他们的大学岁月。
It's now about their college years.
这关乎他们去世的患病家人。
It's about their sick family member who died.
这关乎他们与癌症的抗争以及如何战胜它。
It's about their fight with cancer and how they beat it.
现在，这些歌曲对人们而言，成为了他们生命中的里程碑。
It's these songs now for people are these waypoints in their lives.
这与任何一个人无关。
It's not about any one person.
你知道，我人生前三张专辑只是为了证明、证明，而你确实应该如此。
You know, the first three three records of my life was just like proving, proving, and you should.
然后你开始听到人们对你说，谢谢你，你的音乐陪我度过了黑暗时光。
And then you start hearing people tell you, thank you, and your music got me through a dark time.
这深刻多了。
That's so much deeper.
我的意思是，我确实认为每个人都应该经历那些证明自己的岁月，并享受它们。
I mean, I definitely think everyone should have those prove it years and enjoy them.
是的。
Yeah.
因为我确实经历过。
Because I definitely did.
现在你明白了吗？
Like now do you see?
现在你明白了吗？
Now do you see?
我那时有很多这样的经历，刚起步时我有很多东西需要释放。
And I had a lot of that, I had a lot that I had to get out when I first started.
这让他们觉得讨厌，我能理解。
And it was obnoxious to them, and I get it.
我认为这解释了很多刚崭露头角的年轻人，你可能会想：这人真他妈讨人厌。
And I think it explains a lot of younger people who have just hit the scene, who you're like, this person is fucking obnoxious.
我对他们很有耐心，因为你永远不知道一个人为了逃离家乡、家庭或困境付出了多大的努力，你知道吗？我经常被人贴上‘混蛋’的标签，但我其实一直在拼命努力。
I have a lot of grace for it because you never know how hard someone had to punch to get out of their town or their family or a relate, you know, and you just think that's where people were like, I got the douchebag title a lot, and I was trying incredibly hard.
但从我第一次弹吉他开始，我就一直在拼命努力，只为达到我该达到的位置。
But I had been trying incredibly hard since I first played the guitar to get where I needed to get.
我就是没法接受这个信息：约翰，他们其实很喜欢你。
I couldn't get the message like, John, they like you just fine.
你可以冷静点了。
You can calm down.
他们其实很喜欢你。
They like you just fine.
是啊。
Yeah.
你知道的？
You know?
我非常感谢你这样解释，因为现在我也有了不同的看法，尤其是在音乐行业或演员方面。
I really appreciate you explaining it that way because I now too have a different opinion especially maybe in the music industry or actors and actresses.
人们在网上被如何看待以及他们的行为方式，可能根本不是他们真实的模样，他们只是在努力吸引注意、获得认可，而正如你所看到的，人们在职业生涯中都会这样，甚至你不必出名也会经历这种状况。
The way that maybe people are being perceived online and the way they're acting probably is really not who they are, they're trying to elevate to get the attention, to get the approval and eventually as you see people in their careers, and you don't even have to be famous to have this.
你可以在工作中这样做，也可以在社交中这样做，你试图建立自己的名声，希望拥有存在感，这可能显得不真实，但你希望被看见、被听见、被接纳，而这会让你怀疑：我现在到底是不是在做真实的自己？
You can be doing it at your job, you can be doing it socially, you're trying to make a name for yourself, you're trying to have a presence and it probably feels inauthentic but you wanna be seen, you wanna be heard, you wanna feel accepted, and that can lead to you feeling like what am I even being myself right now?
是的。
Yes.
所以我尊重这一点。
So I respect that.
谢谢你，这正是每个人都会经历的
That's thank you, mean that's what everyone goes
的过程。
through.
每个人在成长过程中，都会对那些在奋斗中前行的人抱有宽容。
Everyone, by the time they grow up, have grace for other people on the way up as they fight through those things.
最刻薄的人，往往是那些尚未寻求宽容的人，因为他们觉得自己还不需要。
The people who are the most vicious, are the people who have yet to ask for grace, because they don't need it yet.
因为他们仍然认为世界尽在掌控之中，会一直做出正确的决定，直到他们不再如此。
Because they still have this view of the world like, they're in total control and they're gonna make all the right decisions for the rest of their lives until they don't.
嗯。
Mhmm.
而且我觉得，这确实是每个人都会经历的过程。
And and and I feel like, that's just something everyone passes through.
在你事业上升的过程中，你最珍惜的是什么？
What do you cherish the most about the rise of your career?
哦，这是个好问题。
Oh, that's a great question.
是事业上升的过程，还是我现在所处的位置？
The rise or where I am now?
我来告诉你，我会回答这两个问题。
I'll tell you, I'll answer both.
好的。
Okay.
崛起的过程发生在一段非常酷的时期。
The rise is that it was during a really cool time.
如果我三年前才开始，我不认为自己会取得如今这样的成功。
I don't think I would have had the same success I have now if I had begun three years ago.
我想我会一直在社交媒体上不断尝试，努力把东西推出来。
I think I'd be trying and trying and trying on social media and trying to get things out there.
我的意思是，当时做这类事情的人少得多，所以自然会有更多人关注你。
I mean, there was just so fewer people doing things that you automatically had more people paying attention.
所以我真的很幸运，我崛起的时候，做音乐、让人关注你、被人看见的人还很少。
So I'm really lucky that I came up when there were just fewer cars on the road in terms of you know, making songs and having people pay attention to you and being seen.
而至于我现在所处的位置，最棒的是，我任何想法都能实现。
And now, where I am now, the greatest thing is that any idea that I have I can do.
我有的任何想法。
Any idea that I have.
我觉得，如果我有一个为世界上任何音乐人创作的歌曲想法，他们至少会愿意听一听。
I feel like if there was a song idea that I had for any musician in the world, I'd have a pretty good chance of them at least listening to it.
这对我来说真的很有趣。
And that's really interesting to me.
对我来说，这是最棒的事情。
That to me is the greatest thing.
我那些已经创作出来、会伴随我一生的歌曲，但同时，我任何新的想法，我都觉得世界上任何音乐人都会想：我想听听马尔给我带来了什么。
The songs I already have that I'll take for the rest of my life, but also, any idea that I have, I think, that there any musician in the world would wanna go like, I wanna hear what Mare has for me.
所以我觉得，我能将脑海中任何想法变为现实，这对我来说是终极的满足。
So I feel like that's, the idea that I could bring anything to life that came to mind, that's the ultimate for me.
我很好奇，随着你声名鹊起，你与女性的互动发生了怎样的变化？
I'm interested, so as your rise to fame, how did your interactions with women change?
哦，这是个好问题，而且
Oh that's a good question and
我想我看到了
I think I saw
我觉得，女性的认可对我来说是一种特殊的东西，每次有人喜欢我的作品时，我都觉得，由于我的成长背景，这几乎是唯一会发生的情况。
the approval of women as being something that was like each time somebody liked what I did I felt like because of the way that I was brought up, that that was the only time that was gonna happen.
因此，我觉得从小就被灌输了一种观念：如果有人喜欢我，那几乎是一种偶然，而这种偶然必须被充分利用。
And so I feel like I was made to believe growing up that if somebody liked me, that was pretty much an accident and that should be capitalized on.
所以当有人喜欢我时，我感受得非常深刻。
And so I felt very deeply when somebody liked me.
非常深刻。
Very deeply.
我想，显而易见的是，我参加的这个节目是面向女性的，嗯。
I think, look, you know, the elephant in the room is that I'm on a show that caters to women Mhmm.
我身上还挂着几个标签，比如‘风流人物’、‘女人杀手’之类的。
And I have a couple of nameplates on me like Lothario and Womanizer and stuff.
我觉得，好吧，这就是事实，我出演的这个电视节目角色并不是我写的，但也没关系。
And I think, look, that is what that is, that's the role I play on the big TV show that I didn't write, that's fine.
也许我对此有一定影响，但我认为人们会惊讶地发现，实际情况并没有像那个躲在树后的人的梗那样。
Maybe I had a hand in it or something but I think people would be surprised to know that it was less me going like, you know the meme of the guy behind the tree?
更少是这样，更多是那样。
It was less this and more like this.
我？
Me?
是的，是的，你知道，从小到大，我一直被灌输这种想法：这种事情不该发生。
Yeah yeah, you know because it was it was always set forth to me that like that shouldn't happen.
没错，不深究你的童年，女性对你的认可和关注显然让你内心存在不安全感，你总是拼命争取，只要她们愿意给予，你就渴望获得这种认可，仿佛它能赋予你生命，你热爱女性给予你的关注或肯定。
Right, like without dissecting into your childhood, the a woman's approval and attention to you clearly there was an insecurity within you that you perk up and would fight till the end to make sure that you're getting to experience that as long as they're willing to give it to you and you're like waiting for someone to give you the approval and that like breathe life into essentially, and you loved a woman giving you attention or validation.
大部分都是真的，真的太真实了，我甚至都无法在说完这个之后再否认它。
Most of that is true and it's so true, it's like I can't even, I won't even flat spin about that after this is over.
我甚至不会，有些事情太真实了，真实到我都不愿为此生气。
I won't even, that's Some things are too true for me to get upset about.
你刚才说的非常准确，只是我表现得没那么明显，不像在说：‘继续，继续。’
That's remarkably true what you just said, except it was a little less overt in terms of me being like, yeah, keep going, keep going.
对。
Right.
因为我确实投入了自己。
Because I did invest myself.
我确实投入了自己在关系中。
I I did invest myself in relationships.
嗯，我想我们也可以同意，我们在晚餐时也稍微谈过这一点，你现在有了更清晰的视角，对吧？
Well, I think we can also agree, and we talked about this a little bit at dinner, there's you have perspective now, right?
是的。
Yeah.
我们可以现在把一切都 neatly 地打包收尾了。
Like, we can wrap things into a bow now.
就像，哦，我明白了我在高中时在做什么，为什么我那么不安全，总在寻求男生的认可，现在我能看清我当时在做什么了——你当时有那种感受，但无法把一切都归结为一个清晰的框架，但现在你可以明白：我懂了。
It's like, oh, I see what I was doing in high school, why I was so insecure and I was looking for the guy's validation and then like I can now see what I was doing in the moment you have the feelings but you can't put it all That's into a box, you now can be like, I get it now.
我明白我当时在做什么。
I get what I was doing.
我看到了我过去的互动，现在我发现了其中的模式，能够在人生后期意识到：哇，这就是我当初那样做的原因。
I see the interactions I had, and now I see this theme, and now I'm able in later in my life to be like, woah, that's why I did what I did.
这也叫长大。
Also known as growing up.
这真是个他妈了不起的概念。
What a fucking concept.
这也叫长大。
Also known as growing up.
就像我说的，最能理解这次访谈的人，是那些经历过这种事的人。
And like like I said, like the people who are gonna understand this interview the most are the people who've had that.
嗯。
Mhmm.
无论是作为这种行为的接受方还是给予方，你懂的。
Either been on the receiving end or the giving end of that, you know.
是的。
Yeah.
是那些还没经历过这些的人，他们可能会有最强烈的反应，因为他们不理解这一点，嗯。
It's the people who haven't had that yet, who will probably have the loudest reactions because they don't understand it Mhmm.
还没。
Yet.
我们最终都会在这一切结束时相遇。
And we all meet up at the end of this.
嗯。
Mhmm.
在疯狂的二十多岁和三十多岁结束时，我们都会相遇。
At the end of these crazy twenties and thirties, we all meet up.
我会遇到一些人，记不清他们是生我的气，还是我生他们的气。
And I meet people, I can't remember if they were mad at me, or if I was mad at them.
因为在这段疯狂之后，我们最终都会相遇，各自经历自己的事情，你知道的。
Because we all meet up after this craziness, and we all go through our own stuff, you know.
我们最终都会相遇，然后说：嘿，你最近怎么样？
We all meet up at the end, and we go, hey, how you doing?
这肯定是个很难回答的问题。
This is I'm sure a hard question to answer.
全世界几乎每个人都认识你，是什么感觉？尽力说说吧，嗯。
What is it like, try your best Yeah.
对世界上几乎每个人来说，都知道你是谁，是什么感觉？
For almost everyone in the world to know who you are?
因为我并没有真正暴露在这一切之中，所以我并没有太强烈地感受到，而且我觉得这样挺好，因为这和我本来就必须要做的事情联系在一起。
Because I don't really live exposed to all of it, it I don't quite feel it, and I'm okay with it because it's linked to something that I have to do anyway.
我能做这件事，如果我有一天不喜欢这些事，我就可以拿起吉他，听自己演奏，然后想：这就是你做这一切的原因。
I get to do this thing, if I'm having a day where I don't like any of this stuff, I can pick up a guitar and listen to myself play and go, that's why you do it.
所以，这一切都与我客观上擅长的事情联系在一起——我可以听自己演奏，写歌，弹吉他。
So the fact that this is all linked to something that I do objectively well, that I can listen to and I can write a song, I can play a song, I can play the guitar.
这正是让我锚定在这一切中的东西。
That's what anchors me to all this stuff.
所有这些都发生在我弹吉他、创作音乐、以一种让人愿意关注的方式演唱的时候。
All of this is happening because I play the guitar, write music, and sing in a way that people wanna pay attention to.
如果我没有这个立足点，我无法想象这会是什么样子。
I can't imagine what this would be like if I didn't have that grounding element.
随着年龄增长，我对那些非常出名却缺乏类似救生圈般依托的人充满了同情。
And as I get older, I have so much empathy for people who are really well known, but don't quite have something to hold onto like a buoy.
你知道吗？
You know?
我的生活给了我这样一个救生圈，那就是我可以写歌、弹吉他。
My life gives me this buoy, which is I can write a song, I can play guitar.
即使这样也不容易，但至少我不是因为某件发生在我身上的事，或我参与过但已不再参与的项目而走红——毕竟，雇我的人已经不再需要我了。
It's tough even that way, but it's not like I'm famous from a thing that happened to me or a thing I was a part of that I was no longer a part of because the person who hired me for the thing didn't want me anymore.
是的。
Yeah.
所以这非常稳定。
So it's very stable.
我已经接受了这样一个事实：它永远不会变成别的样子。
I've come to terms with the fact that it's never gonna be another way.
而现在，大部分时候因为我几乎只在音乐方面与人接触，所以我主动在职业生涯中那些我希望被忽视的部分制造了无关性。
And most of it now because I don't really interface with people for anything other than music, for the most part it's like I have manufactured irrelevance in the parts of my career that I wanna be irrelevant.
这样做真的很可怕。
That is really scary to do.
当你身处不断循环的新闻热点中时，真正退出这个循环是非常可怕的。
It's really scary to come off of that loop when you're in a news cycle, news cycle, news cycle.
真正去决定：我想关闭这部分、那部分、那部分，还有那部分。
To really go I wanna I wanna shut down this part, that part, that part, and that part.
并感到内心正在死去，因为那些部分正在消失。
And feel like you're dying inside because those parts are going away.
现在我剩下的，只有那些想和我聊天的人，他们只想聊我创作的音乐。
Now all I have left is like, people who wanna talk to me wanna talk to me about music I make.
人们不会因为我登了一趟航班就让我在推特上 trending。
People aren't, I'm not trending on Twitter just because I got on a flight.
这很难接受，很难去面对：是的，你就要继续做音乐。
And it was tough, it was tough to be like, yeah, you're gonna play music.
你要去演奏音乐，并把全部精力投入其中，而不是整天琢磨别人对你的感受。
You're gonna play music and you're gonna put it all into that and not day trading how people feel about you.
所以你的意思是，你本质上并没有扮演好莱坞那种歌手的角色，一切都不太顺利，人们开始，就像你说的，开始写关于你的头条新闻。
So you're saying that you didn't essentially play the role of the guy in Hollywood, the singer, everything didn't work well that people started, like you said, like people started writing headlines about you.
我不配扮演那个角色。
I didn't deserve the role.
你为什么这么认为？
Why do you think that?
因为那个角色不是为我设计的。
Because it wasn't made for me.
我是个写歌的音乐人，写的歌有点像热门歌曲。
I'm the musician guy who writes songs that are like kind of hits.
我以为我只是通过自己对这件事的操控，成了顶级明星。
And I thought that I was just, through my own manipulation of the thing, was an a lister.
我打算成为，我是个顶级名人。
And I was going to, I'm an a I'm an a list celebrity.
不，你不是。
No, you're not.
但在二十多岁时，我曾以为，这就是我该待的地方，这就是我应该在的地方。
But I had this moment in my twenties where I thought, well this is where I belong, this is where I should be.
显然不是，因为我根本没处理好这件事，你知道的。
And obviously it wasn't because I didn't really handle it very well, you know.
我当时就是没处理好。
I was like, didn't handle it very well.
于是这一切都停了下来，但我获得了重新开始的机会，我这辈子从未如此快乐过。
And so then, that all kind of shut down and I got a chance to start it up again, and I haven't ever been happier in my life.
人们因为我的所作所为而认识我。
I'm known for what I do.
你实际上是在暗示，你在二十多岁时搞砸了，或者这就是你的意思。
You're kind of essentially alluding to like, you fucked up in your twenties, or that's what
是的，快到三十岁的时候。
Yeah, late twenties, early thirties.
好的。
Okay.
嗯。
Yeah.
这让你走上了不同的道路。
And that kind of set you on a different course
是的。
of Yes.
我得说，好的。
I've gotta Okay.
但是一条更自然的道路。
But a more natural course.
我只在做我本该做的事。
I'm only doing what I should be doing.
我觉得有很多人被困在这样的循环里：没有处在自己想要的位置，却又不想被遗忘。
And and I think there's a lot of people who are stuck in that loop of like, not being where they wanna be, but not wanting to be forgotten.
想到如果你抽身离开，就会被人遗忘，这真的很可怕。
And it's scary the idea that if you pulled away, you'd be forgotten.
如果你退出推特，就会被人遗忘。
That if you if you got off Twitter, you'd be forgotten.
如果你不每天积极参与其中，就会被人遗忘。
That if you didn't throw yourself into the mix every day, you'd be forgotten.
在那些你最终不希望被了解的方面，被人遗忘其实很美好，你知道的。
It's beautiful to be forgotten in the ways you ultimately don't wanna be known, you know.
有什么经历塑造了今天的你，但很少有人知道？
What is an experience that shaped who you are that very few people know about?
这真是个好问题。
That's a that's a good one.
在社交媒体还没出现、无法告诉你焦虑是什么之前，我就有深深的焦虑。
Anxiety, deep anxiety before there was a social media that could tell you what anxiety was.
并不是说这会让情况变容易，但焦虑会因感到孤立而加剧。
Not to say it makes it any easier but anxiety feeds off of feeling isolated by it.
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所以现在当你能读到别人的经历并说‘哦，原来如此’时，感觉就容易了一点。
And so it's a little bit easier now when you can read other people's experiences and go, oh okay.
在九十年代中期到晚期经历焦虑，就像你觉得你自己要疯了，你知道吗？
Mean, having anxiety in mid nineties, late nineties, it's like you think you're going crazy, you know?
所以这给我带来了更深的体会。
And so that to me gave me so much more depth.
更深的体会。
So much more depth.
那些情绪，那些恐慌感，那种四面高墙逐渐合拢的感觉。
Those feelings, those those feelings of panic, those feelings of the walls are closing in.
它们伴随着问题而来。
They come with questions.
它们伴随着每一个问题。
They come with every question.
为什么我睡不着？
Why can't I sleep?
宇宙中正在发生什么？
What's going on in the universe?
我的身体里正在发生什么？
What's going on in my body?
这会演变成疑病症。
Turns into hypochondria.
我的心跳是不是加快了？
How many, is my heart beating faster?
我的喉咙是不是在收紧？
Is my throat closing?
为什么我能感觉到自己的脉搏在耳朵里？
Why do I feel my pulse in my ear?
你会上WebMD查找所有东西。
And you're on WebMD looking up everything.
而无论那是什么，都会让你极度关注自己，对我来说，我写了很多音乐，这些音乐源于我在极度迷失后寻求答案——因为我只是在脑子里失去了体重。
And whatever that is also makes you super keyed in to yourself in a way that for me, I wrote a lot of, a lot of my music came from wanting answers after feeling really really lost because I lost my weight just in my head.
到了后来，每当我感到焦虑时，我就会想：好吧，又有一首歌要来了。
It got to the point where when I would have an anxious moment, I'd be like, well, here comes a song.
你有没有过这种感觉？
Do you ever get that?
完全有。
Totally.
但我认为，有时候我会担心，最好的创作往往诞生于最低谷，除非你是创作者，否则很难描述这种感受——你会怀疑自己是否在自我毁灭，只为写出一首动人的悲伤歌曲，如果你经历了一次严重的分手。
But I think there's points where I was worried that good content sometimes comes at your lowest and it's really hard to describe unless you're a creator where you're wondering if you're self destructing to You're gonna write a great sad song if you go through a great breakup.
如果我和伴侣分手，我会写出一个精彩的片段，但对你个人而言，除了你的创作和工作之外，这对你的生活会造成多大的伤害？
I'm gonna have an incredible episode if I break up with my partner but at what cost for you as an individual outside of your craft and your job is that extremely detrimental to just your life?
我从未，我可以很有信心地说，我这辈子从未刻意制造某种经历来写歌。
I never, and I can say this with great confidence, I never tried to induce an experience just to write a song ever in my life.
从未。
Ever.
我从未想过，如果我这样做，就能获得创作素材。
I've never thought if I do this, I'll get material.
我向你保证，当我二十岁、二十一岁、二十二岁、二十三岁的时候，我愿意用我写过的每一首歌来换取不再有那种感觉。
I promise you, I would have absolutely in those moments as a 20, 21, 22, 23 year old guy traded every song I was going to write to not have that feeling.
毫无疑问。
No doubt about it.
毫无疑问。
No doubt about it.
我会说，拿走我这辈子写的所有歌，只要现在停止这种感觉。
I would have said take all the songs I'll ever write, stop this feeling from happening right now.
而无论那种感觉是什么，它都让我把目光聚焦在真正重要的事情上。
And for whatever that feeling was, it just focused my eyes on the important things.
生活中到底发生了什么？
What's going on in life?
这些歌词的来源就是这些，你知道吗？
What is, that's where these lyrics come from, know?
我的前三张专辑都源于此。
That's where my first three records are from.
它们是关于应对焦虑的。
They're about managing anxiety.
为什么是佐治亚？
Why Georgia?
我他妈为什么在这儿？
Why am I fucking here?
我活得对吗？
Am I living it right?
就像，我为什么在这儿？
Like why am I here?
你知道，第一张专辑里有一首歌叫《Not Myself》，那首歌讲的就是在别人面前经历恐慌发作。
You know there's a song, Not Myself on the first record, would you want me when, that's all about having a panic attack in front of somebody.
假设我说，你知道，你会爱我吗？我不记得歌词了，当我不是我自己时，你还想要我吗？
Suppose I said, know, would you love me, I don't remember the lyrics, would you want me when I'm not myself?
比如，你有没有在约会时经历过恐慌发作？
Like, you ever have a panic attack on a date?
没有。
No.
天啊，这就是你们建立联系的方式吧。
Oh man, that's how you bond with someone right
在这儿。
there.
约翰。
John.
这就是建立联系的方式。
That's how you bond.
你经常恐慌吗
Do you often have a panic
发作？是的。
attack Yes.
在
On a
嗯，我的意思是，现在有那种你可以服用的东西，但我确实没有。
Well I mean, they make things you could take now for that, but I, yeah.
不。
No.
我想说的是，我高中最后一年去约会，对象是其中一个特别漂亮的女孩，我简直不敢相信她会愿意和我去看电影。我直到高中毕业才开车，所以那会儿我坐在副驾驶。
I wanna, okay, so I went on a date, I was going on a date on my senior year in high school with like one of the prettiest girls, couldn't believe that I'd gotten to the point where like this girl wanted to go to the movies with I didn't drive until I was out of high school so I was riding shotgun.
所以，当时就是我约会的对象在开车载我去约会。
So right there, I'm being driven by the girl I'm going on the date with.
等我们到电影院时，我一直在吃Tums，因为我紧张得胃特别不舒服。
By the time we got to the movie theater, and I was eating like Tums because I had such bad nervous stomach.
那时候还没人知道苯二氮䓬类药物。
This is before like, you figured out benzodiazepines.
我一边吃Tums治胃痛，还没下车就对她说：我胃疼，你能送我回家吗？
And I was eating Tums stomachache and before we even got out the car, I was like, I have a stomachache, can you drive me home?
她一路把我送回家，我到家了。
And she drove me all the way home and I got home.
我一回到家就意识到，我在很多情况下都感到极度不适。
And as soon as I got home I was like, I'm deeply uncomfortable in in a lot of situations.
所以很长一段时间里，我都抗拒和任何人出去约会，因为这会让我紧张到胃部不适，简直糟糕透顶。
And so for a really long time I would resist going out with anybody because it would make me so nervous that my stomach, I would just be it would be terrible.
这就是为什么我喜欢和人坐下来聊天，因为当你想到约翰·梅尔时，你觉得他能随便追到任何女人。
This is why I love sitting down with people because when you think John Mayer, you can get any woman you want.
对吧？
Right?
在媒体的世界里。
In in media land.
你也能随便追到任何男人。
You could get any man you wanted.
谢谢，约翰。
Thanks, John.
我说的是，当个名人就像当个美女一样。
Was saying being a famous guy is like being a hot girl.
哦，这太有趣了。
Oh, that's so interesting.
当个名人就像当个美女。
Being a famous guy is like being a hot girl.
好吧。
Okay.
让我提出下一个问题。
Well, let me bring up my next question.
好吧。
Okay.
好吗？
Okay?
人们一直对你职业生涯中约会过谁着迷。
People have been obsessed with who you've dated in your career.
如果你看小报和各种八卦，约翰·梅尔就是那个红人。
And if you're going through like the tabloids and everything, it's John Mayer is the it guy.
对吧？
Right?
最近你开玩笑说你是美国的前男友。
And recently you joked you're America's ex boyfriend.
嗯。
Mhmm.
为什么美国和你分手了？
Why did America break up with you?
这是我用来消除一些我认为存在于你所谓的……的气球的方式。
That's that's my way of taking some of what I think is the air out of a of a you know?
这就像是房间里一头大象。
That's like elephant hunting in the room.
我喜欢这个说法。
I I like I like the statement.
是的。
Yeah.
刻薄，
Mean,
他们就是这么看的。
that's how they see it.
总之，我只是一个人过着一种生活。
Bottom line, I'm one guy living one life.
嗯。
Mhmm.
我不需要三亿人认同我是个不错的人。
I don't need 300,000,000 people in my life to agree that I'm an okay person.
在互联网出现之前，大多数人只需要大约八个人。
Most people until the dawn of the internet needed about eight.
我拥有的是八的倍数，这让我成为一个非常快乐和幸运的人。
I've got multiples of eight which makes me a very happy and lucky human being.
我只需要再遇到一个人，我想和他共度余生。
I only need to meet one more person that I wanna spend the rest of my life with.
所以我不需要全世界的人都认同我是个不错的人。
So I do not need to have this worldwide consensus that I'm an okay guy.
你的理想类型是什么？
What is your type?
对吧？
Right?
漂亮、成功、赚的钱比你多？
Hot, successful, makes more money than you?
这真有意思。
That's really funny.
我的每一段关系都建立在这样一个信念上：这段感情能长久走下去。
Well, I mean, every relationship I've ever been in was devoted to the idea that this could go the distance.
我这一生，包括今天，如果你告诉我，我可以和某人拥有美好的两个月，但到了第三个月的第一天就必须结束，我会毫无兴趣。
My entire life, today included, if you told me that I could have a great two months with someone but it would end on the first day of the third month, I would not be interested.
我始终追求的是长期关系的可能。
I have always sought potential for long term relationship.
回头来看，我知道自己犯了哪些错，但不值得提了。
I know what my mistakes were looking back, not worth talking about.
我们所有人只要做好账目，作为一个人，当你在淋浴时，做足了自我反省，哪怕只是浪费了一点水，你也会说：‘是的，我本意是好的，但我确实那样做了。’
We all As long as you do the accounting, as long as you do your homework as a human being as you stand in the shower, and you waste a little water, and you go, yeah, I really meant well, but I did do that.
或者，‘是的，他们本意是好的，但他们确实那样做了。’
Or, yeah, they meant well, but they did do that.
然后你会想：我不会再那样做了，我会用不同的方式处理，也许从头开始，甚至从第一天在房间另一头看到他们时就开始改变，谁知道呢。
And you go, wouldn't do that again, I would approach that a different way, maybe even from the beginning, maybe even from day one seeing them across the room, who knows.
只要你清楚那些问题是什么，以及如何将这些经验应用到下一段关系中，我就看不出任何过去的关系以糟糕收场有什么问题。
As long as you're aware of what those things are, and how you can apply that to the next relationship, I don't see a problem with any past relationships ending badly.
我同意。
I agree.
我就不同意。
I just don't.
我的情况不一样，因为它们广为人知。
Mine are different because they are well known.
很多年我没有谈过恋爱了，有趣的是，我开始注意到人们会在网上看帅哥的照片，然后说：‘我爱这个家伙。’
And I have not had a relationship in a lot of years and it's funny how, I think I started to notice like people would look at pictures of hot dudes on the internet and be like, I love this guy.
我会想，这张照片是2002年的。
I'd like, that picture's from 2002.
你明白我的意思吗？
You know what I mean?
这帮助我理解，我们往往执着于一个人历史中那些最突出、最鲜明、最容易被想象出来的部分。
And it it helps me understand that we tend to hold on to the part of someone's history that we, that sort of revealed itself the most or was the brightest, the most easy to visualize.
所以，至今我仍然在很多人心里，以一种积极的方式，做着我早已不再做的事。
And so I still, look, I'm still in a lot of people's minds, in a good way, doing something I'm not doing anymore.
是的。
Yeah.
无论他们是对某张唱片或某次巡演着迷，他们仍想分享我2014年巡演的YouTube视频，还是有人会说：‘哦，对，他就是那个花花公子’，你知道的。
Whether they're attached to a record or a tour I was on, they still wanna share YouTube videos of a tour I did in 2014 or whatever and there are still people who go, oh yeah, he's the he's he's the man whore or whatever, you know.
但并不是每个人都有责任每年都更新对我的了解，你知道吧。
But it's not on each and every person to update their knowledge of me every year, you know what I
什么意思？
mean?
但这就像是你没更新你的Facebook状态。
But it's like you haven't updated your Facebook status.
没错。
There you go.
所以每个人都还觉得你是2009年的你。
So everyone's looking at you're like 2,009.
这其实是个非常精彩的观察。
That's actually a brilliant observation.
就好像世界替我创建了我的Facebook状态。
It's like the world creates my Facebook status.
是的。
Yes.
但之所以这样也没关系，是因为……
But but so here's here's why that's okay.
嗯。
Mhmm.
如果有人误解了你，比如你说了某句话，别人转述时错了一个词，让原本甜蜜的话听起来不甜了，你肯定会跳出来说：‘这不是我说的，我原话是这样的。’
If somebody gets you a little bit wrong, if you said something and someone recounts it and they get one word wrong and it makes something sweet sound not sweet, You're gonna jump out and go, that is not what I said, here's how I said it.
你会去仔细纠正那些让你被误解的地方。
You're gonna fine tune that thing that you're being misunderstood for.
当一个人被严重误解时，几乎就像对方在谈论一个完全不同的人。
There comes a point where if you're so misunderstood, it's almost like they're thinking about a different person.
所以，那些不了解我的人所想象的‘我’，和真实的我相去甚远，以至于我根本不会因此感到任何困扰。
So the me that most people who don't know me are thinking about, is so far away from me that I don't actually feel I don't actually feel like disrupted in any way by it.
他们在谈论的只是一个角色或某种东西——就像一个微小的故障，慢慢膨胀成了另一个完全不同的东西。
They're talking about a character or a thing that's been, like an artifact, Like this one little glitch that sort of grew and became this other thing.
我不觉得有必要去澄清，也希望你不要以为我是在说‘让我来纠正一下记录’。
I don't feel the need, and I hope you don't think this is like me going like, let me set the record straight.
不不不，我只是在带你了解我的内心世界。
No no no, I'm meant, you you're just taking us through your psyche.
谢谢，是的。
Appreciate Yeah.
在这个年纪被误解，远没有二十岁时被误解那么痛苦。
Being being misunderstood at this age is nowhere near as painful as it was being misunderstood in my twenties.
我二十岁时做的很多事，都是为了纠正这种误解。
And a lot of the shit that I did in my twenties was an attempt to reset the misunderstanding.
但我反而让情况更糟了。
And I made it worse.
多年前有人对我说：你正试图吃掉那个想吃掉你的怪物。
Someone said to me years ago, you're trying to eat the monster that's trying to eat you.
我从未听过比这更真实的话，现在我看其他人，比如埃隆·马斯克，你正试图吃掉那个想吃掉你的怪物。
I've never heard a more true thing said to me, and I look at other people right now and I go, Elon Musk, you're trying to eat the monster that's trying to eat you.
我看得出来，也对那些试图这么做的人抱有宽容。
I see it and I have grace for other people trying to do it.
我们还没学会退一步也是一种选择。
We haven't learned that retreat is an option.
撤退是一种选择。
Retreat is an option.
我不知道这种死磕到底的固执想法是从哪里来的。
I don't know where this idea of stubborn fight to the death stuff came from.
你会失去一切。
You'll lose everything.
听你谈论这一点真的很有趣，因为我认为我们也能体会到这一点，你不必出名也会被误解。
It's really interesting to hear you talk about it because what I think we can also get to and it you don't have to be famous to have this, being misunderstood.
我们每个人内心深处，在某个时刻都会开始感受到被误解，这是一种令人精疲力尽且恐惧的感觉，你真的想拼命纠正一切。
There is something inside of all of us at one point when you start to feel that it's a really exhausting scary feeling and you really wanna fight to correct everything.
如果你在高中时有谣言传开，或者你在工作中发生了什么事，别人对你有了某种看法，你就会开始陷入漩涡。
If you if there's a rumor about you in high school, if you if something happens at your job and people see you the certain way, you start to spiral.
然后，在经历了如此多的抗争、如此多的挣扎之后，终于到了那一刻——有人试图吞噬你，对吧？
And then there's that moment where all of a sudden, after so much fighting, so much clawing, someone trying to eat them up, right?
没错。
Yep.
你已经平静下来了，觉得无所谓了。
You're like at peace with like, I don't give a fuck.
因为你对自己很满意。
Because you're good with yourself.
你的现实比他们扭曲它的能力更强大。
Your reality is stronger than their ability to distort it.
一开始，当现实被扭曲时，这是最令人作呕、最可怕、最痛苦的事情之一。
And at first, when it's not, it's one of the most sickening, frightening, painful things to have your reality distorted.
如果你足够聪明，理论上你会开始制定计划，想办法纠正被扭曲的现实。
And if you're smart, theoretically, you start coming up with a plan to engineer how to undistort the reality that's been distorted.
但这就是失败的开始，因为你的行为不再自然，而是变成了我所做的那样。
And that's the beginning of the failure because your behavior stops being natural and starts being what I did.
如果你要扭曲我，那我就扭曲我自己。
If you're gonna distort me, I'm gonna distort me.
我在那里面迷失了自己。
I lost myself in that.
我试图表现得更像你眼中的我，以此来某种方式抵消真相。
The idea of I'm going to be more like you think I am as a way to somehow phase cancel what it is.
仿佛只要我配合演出，所有和我想法一致的人就会说：‘他不可能是那样的。’
As if playing into it would make everyone in the world who shares my exact thinking go, oh he can't be that.
对。
Right.
因为他表现得像那样，所以他也是同谋。
Because he's acting like that, he's in on it.
所以这招没用，那招也没用，有时候我回过头想，你本可以退一步，但没人知道该怎么退，因为赌注太高了。
So that didn't work, and that didn't work, and it was like, I look back sometimes and I go like, you could have retreated, and nobody knows how to retreat because the stakes are so high.
赌注太高了。
The stakes are so high.
世界上有一半人说：‘你做那种事的时候，不是挺享受的吗？’
You've got half of the world going, well you love it when you do that.
而另一半人则说：‘你疯了。’
And the other half of the world going, you're losing your mind.
你会想，我知道一件事，现在不能放弃。
And you go, well, I know one thing, can't give up now.
对，就是这样。
And it's like Right.
但你可以选择退出，六个月后，你会为自己的决定感到无比欣慰。
But you could and six months from now, you would be so happy that you did.
我特别觉得社交媒体就是这样。
I feel especially with social media.
你在这个本质上就是虚假的平台上拼命证明自己，我真的觉得有必要谈谈：其实有一种选择是退一步——你不必发那张照片来证明你去过那个地方，也不必发这张照片并修图，让自己看起来和现实中完全不一样。
You're trying so hard to prove yourself on this platform that fake to begin with and I really feel like it's helpful to talk through like, there is an option to retreat and you don't have to post that photo to prove you were at that place, you don't have to post this photo and edit it so you look a certain way even though you don't look like that way in person.
其实，允许自己享受眼前的一切，珍惜了解你、关心你的人——你的朋友和家人，这种平静是无比珍贵的。
Like, there is just some extreme peace in allowing yourself to enjoy what's in front of you and the people that know you and care about you and your friends and your family.
我曾经深陷其中，拼命想证明自己不是那个女孩，不是那个女孩。
Like, I've been subjected to it where I'm trying to prove that I'm not this girl and I'm not this girl.
没错。
Yeah.
然后突然间我就想，我根本不认识这些人，你根本也不认识。
And then all of a sudden I'm like, I don't even know these You don't even know.
嗯。
Yeah.
我这是在干什么？
What am I doing?
而且你正在失去你的核心部分，没错。
And you're losing your center piece Yeah.
中心点。
Center point.
我也觉得人们需要经历这些。
And I also think that people need to go through that.
很多时候，人们认为生活中不如意的事情是错误。
A lot of times people think that the stuff that didn't go right in their life was a mistake.
但我不认为这是错误，因为我觉得没有别的路可走。
And I don't think it's a mistake because I don't think there's any other way around it.
我根本不会把它当成一个问题。
I don't even look at it like a problem.
这就是事情必须发展的样子。
It's like that's just the way it has to go.
你曾经爱过吗？
Have you ever been in love?
你曾经爱过吗？
Have you ever been in love?
有过。
Yes.
你现在是单身吗？
You're currently single?
目前是单身。
Currently single.
回顾过去的感情关系，你有没有发现某种模式，或者有什么是你希望在未来自我提升的方面？
Looking back at past relationship is relationships, is there anything that you have looked for of something of like a theme of what you wanna work on within yourself moving forward?
这是个很尖锐的问题。
That's a hot question.
我还不知道，因为我从未真正经历过关系中顺风顺水的阶段。
I don't know yet because I haven't gotten, I never really got to the part of relationship that was the smooth sailing part.
我有种预感，当我真的经历时，我会有很多需要改进的地方，但我会很期待去面对，因为那不会是像‘我们该如何维持在一起’这种根本性的问题。
I have a feeling when I do, I'm gonna have a lot to work on, but I'll be excited to work on it because it won't be that incredibly fundamental stuff of like how do we do we stay together?
你知道吗，我总是对那些正在经历困难却从未考虑分手的伴侣感到无比钦佩。
You know like I'm always supremely impressed by couples that I know who are having a hard time, but haven't even considered breaking up.
这很深刻。
That's hot.
对我来说，这才是最深刻的。
Like that to me is the hottest.
有人抱怨自己的女朋友或妻子，你刚开始暗示他们可能想分开，他们却说：‘你在说什么？’
Someone complains about their girlfriend or their wife and you're and you're like, you start to allude to them wanting to go somewhere else and like, what are you talking about?
不。
No.
我哪儿也不去。
I'm not going anywhere else.
你只是遇到了一些困难。
You're just having a hard time.
我想要那样的关系。
I want that.
我有种感觉，我会准备好承认自己有一些智力控制的问题。
And I I have a feeling that I'm gonna be ready to cop to a little bit of intellectual control issues.
只是在智力层面。
Only on an intellectual side.
比如，我可以，我正努力让自己更用心而不是用脑，但我确实有点过于理性，我觉得对某人说‘这是我的问题，这是我打算改进的’很酷，我喜欢和对方分享这个，然后他们说：‘你又来了。’
Like I can be I can be, I'm trying to be a little more heart overhead, but I can be a little heady and I think it's cool to say to someone, this is my thing, this is what I'm gonna work on and I love the idea of sharing that with someone and them saying, you're doing it again.
然后你就说：‘我又来了，抱歉。’
And you go, I'm doing it again, sorry.
你的恋爱风格是什么？
What is your dating style?
比如，它是怎么演变的？
Like, and how has it evolved?
比如，你是什么样的人？
Like, what are you like?
我不知道。
I I don't know.
我不是很常约会。
I don't date that that much.
我是这么看的：对我而言，约会已经不再是某种有固定模式的活动了。
I look at it like this, dating is no longer a codified activity for me.
它不再有任何模式了。
It doesn't exist in any kind of it's not patterned anymore.
我六年前戒酒了，所以现在再也不喝酒了。
I quit drinking like six years ago, so I don't drink anymore.
我没有了酒精带来的勇气。
I don't have the liquid courage.
你对这有什么感受？
How do you feel about that?
这如何改变了你的恋爱生活？
How has that changed your dating life?
你必须诚实。
You have to be honest.
你必须表达自己。
You have to express yourself.
你必须非常、非常坦诚。
You have to be really, glaringly honest.
这就是我，我喜欢什么，让我紧张的是什么。
Here's who I am, here's what I like, here's what makes me nervous.
在关系中，我拒绝哪些观念。
Here's what I reject as an idea in relationship.
我不确定，你知道的，是否必须表达你的焦虑。
I don't know about, you you know, have to express your anxieties.
你只是靠喝酒来逃避他们。
You just walk over them by drinking.
你得说清楚：这是我焦虑的事情。
You have to be like, here's what I'm anxious about.
当生活中有人包容你的焦虑时，这就是一种联结。
And when someone in life accommodates your anxiety, that's bonding.
对。
Right.
某种程度上，是绕过表面的废话，直接问：我们能不能建立一种让人感到温暖的连接，真正了解彼此，而不仅仅是打个招呼？
Kinda cutting past the surface level bullshit and being like, can we connect on a way that feels cozy and like we know each other past just like, hey, so like
没错。
That's right.
你是在哪里长大的？
Where did you grow up for?
嗯。
Yeah.
当你不再提供免费试用的时候。
Where you're done with giving the free trial.
是的。
Yes.
到了你的免费试用期结束的那一刻。
Here comes a moment where your free trial runs out.
一个人多久能知道你对他们有好感？
How quickly will someone know that you're into them?
我需要很长时间。
It takes me a while.
我需要很长时间。
It takes me a while.
随着我年龄增长，我觉得打动我的心的方式是，我不确定自己还能有五个小时的约会了。
I think the way to my heart now as I get older is I don't know that I have like five hour dates in me.
我不再有那种坐在桌边、深入探讨、像面试一样的深度交流了。
I don't have these deep excursions at a table that go into like this sort of job interview vibe.
我会坦诚地告诉你，我更希望有个人。
I would rather have someone, I'll be honest with you.
我以前也想过这个问题。
I've thought about this before.
我希望能有人对我说：嘿，我打算去你家待一个半小时。
I would love someone to say, hey, I'm coming over to your house for an hour and a half.
我会带上我的笔记本电脑，只需要你给个WiFi密码。
I'm bringing my laptop, just need the WiFi code.
我就坐在沙发上。
I'll be on the couch.
我不会占你太多空间。
I'm not trying to take up all your space.
我对你的感觉非常好。
I have a really good feeling about you.
我不想让你觉得压抑，因为我真的对你感觉很好。
I don't wanna do the thing where I start to make you feel claustrophobic, because I really have a good feeling about you.
给我WiFi密码，我吃掉你一个酸奶。
Give me the wifi code, I'll eat one of your yogurts.
你想聊天的时候再找我。
Talk to me when you wanna talk to me.
我会说，我其实就想这么做。
I'd be like, I wanted to do that.
你知道会有多少人给我发私信，说‘约翰，能把WiFi密码给我吗？’
Do you know how many people are gonna DM me and be like, John, can I have the wifi code?
我就直接过来了。
I'm gonna just come over.
也许我刚才说过，我的意思是，但我真的觉得，如果减少高强度的接触，更多人会更快找到爱情，嗯。
Maybe I said that just before, I mean, but I actually think more people would find love sooner, if it was less intense exposure Mhmm.
短时间但更频繁地接触。
For shorter periods of time, but more frequently.
安定下来会让你感到害怕吗？
Does settling down freak you out?
不。
Nope.
这部分总是让人震惊。
This is the part that always shocks people.
他们说：你不想结婚。
They go, you don't wanna get married.
当然我想结婚。
Of course I wanna get married.
我只是不会去和不同的人进行一连串的约会。
I'm just, you're not gonna see me go on a battery of dates with different people.
我是个私密房源。
I am a pocket listing.
我并不在那个，叫什么来着，MLS上。
I'm not really on, what is it, the MLS.
我需要学习的东西，我都自己完成了。
All the heavy lifting's done in my learning what I need to learn.
至于进入一段关系，我迫不及待想有人因为我说好去取干洗衣服却没去而生我的气。
And just in terms of entering in a relationship, I can't wait for someone to be mad at me because I said that I would take the dry cleaning in.
他们本来打算去的，直到我说我会去，但后来我没去。
And they were going to, until I said I would, but then I didn't.
如果你跟我说你会去取干洗衣服，你就必须去，因为我真的很希望你这么做。
And if you're gonna tell me that you're gonna take the dry cleaning, you have to do that because I would love that.
我真的很希望你这么做，因为这说明我们之间有着深厚、有意义且稳固的关系。
I would love that because that would suggest that we're into something deep, meaningful, and secure.
这又回到了你之前说的，你的朋友们。
It goes back to what you said, your friends.
你就像说，哦，好吧，所以你要走了？
You're like, oh okay, so you're gonna leave?
他们说：绝对不。
They're like, fuck no.
我们可是要一直在一起的。
Like we're in this.
对我来说，没有什么比解决冲突更吸引人的了。
Nothing's hotter to me than conflict resolution.
解决冲突，我为解决冲突而兴奋不已。
Conflict resolution, I am horny for conflict resolution.
在争吵的过程中，我们正在争执，我突然想到：等等，我确实这么做过。
In the middle of an argument, we're having an argument and I go, wait, I do do that.
我确实这么做过。
I did do that.
对不起。
I'm sorry.
你对。
You're right.
我没否认。
I didn't nope.
你对。
You're right.
我没明白。
I didn't get it.
我确实会那样做。
I do do that.
对不起。
I'm sorry.
现在有什么事让你彻夜难眠吗？
What's something that is currently keeping you up at night?
现在有什么事让我彻夜难眠吗？
What's something that is currently keeping me up at night?
从比喻意义上说，让我彻夜难眠的事。
Metaphorically keeping me up at night.
嗯。
Yeah.
我该把整张专辑作为下一张发布，还是一首歌一首歌地发布。
Whether I should put out a whole record as my next release or song at a time.
说不准。
Can't tell.
发一张专辑，就有一周的热度。
Put a record out, you get a week.
来来去去。
Comes and goes.
一次发一首歌，就能多次曝光。
Put a song at a time out and you get repeated shots.
反复关注。
Repeated looks at the ball.
那为什么不会
So why wouldn't
你？那是什么？
you What's that?
那你为什么不做呢？
So why wouldn't you do that?
做一些？
Do some?
我想我可能会一次发布一首歌。
I think I'd probably put a song at a time out.
我觉得。
I think.
我觉得
I think that
我觉得一次发布一首歌最适合这张新专辑。
I feels think song at a time is right for this next record.
就我个人而言，我非常喜欢一张专辑，可以像看Netflix一样一口气刷完。
Like I would love a record personally, I can just binge it, like Netflix moment.
但我明白你的意思，就是你能慢慢
But I get what you're saying is like, you get to kinda
对。
Yeah.
我不再隶属于任何唱片公司了，这让我夜不能寐，担心我接下来的作品会显得太小，小到连摄像机都捕捉不到。
I'm not on a label anymore, and so that kinda keeps me up at night, that the next thing I do would seem to be would seem to be I hope it was small enough that a camera couldn't catch it.
你直接说，我不再和唱片公司合作了。
You literally go, I'm not with label anymore.
哦，是的。
Oh, yeah.
对。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
时机真不巧。
That was badly timed.
时机真不巧。
That was badly timed.
哦，看起来怎么了，我不
Oh, it looks What's up, I'm not
不再隶属于任何唱片公司了。
with label anymore.
我也可以要一个指甲锉吗？
Can I also get a nail file?
所以，我可以拿一个指甲锉，然后说：我不再隶属于任何唱片公司了。
So I can can I get a nail file and say, I'm not with the label anymore.
不，抱歉。
No, sorry.
我非常担心任何东西弄脏这件深色毛衣。
I'm deeply concerned about anything being on this dark sweater.
看起来都很好。
All looking good.
谢谢。
Thank you.
不再隶属于唱片公司，让我觉得下一件事我必须证明自己。
Being not being on a label feels a little bit like the next thing I do, I have to prove myself.
你能说说你的写作进展如何吗？
Can you explain what are how is your writing going?
你是说，你什么都写。
Like, you write everything.
我什么都写。
I write everything.
我的意思是，回过头来看，能100%拥有我写的歌曲，这部分真的很有趣。
I mean, that part's really fun looking back on it to have a 100% ownership of the songs I've written.
但这确实非常耗时。
But it's I mean, it's hugely time consuming.
是的。
Yeah.
非常耗时。
Hugely time consuming.
随着年龄增长，时间变得越来越宝贵，这让我觉得这种深度投入变得有点困难，因为不管你多大年纪，这些东西依然需要一年才能写完。
And as you get older, time gets more valuable, which makes this, you know, this deep diving that I do feel a little harder because no matter how old you get, this stuff still takes a year to write.
嗯。
Yeah.
你知道的。
You know?
当你一个人却想听起来像五个人，你就得用五种不同的方式表现自己。
When you're one guy and you want to sound like you're five guys, you've gotta be yourself five different ways.
你不可能一天之内就完成这一切。
And you can't do that all in one day.
所以，要创作出听起来非常复杂的音乐，就得在不同的日子、以不同的心态反复打磨。
So the way you make music that sounds really complex is to hit it repeatedly on different days with different mindsets.
这需要非常长的时间，非常长的时间。
Which takes a very long time, very long time.
你写完一首完整的歌，然后发现：其实我只需要那一段副歌，而那段原本以为是主歌的却用不上了，然后这段又移到那里。
You write a whole song and you'll go, oh, I only needed that one verse which is actually the chorus to this thing and that dies, and then this moves over to here.
我永远不会用别的方式做这件事。
And I would never do it any other way.
我宁愿不发行专辑，也不愿以那种方式跌落。
I'd rather not put a record out than fall off in that way.
当你这么说的时候，你会去录音棚吗？
And when you're saying this, do you go to a recording studio?
我每天都会去录音棚，朝九晚五。
I go to a recording studio every day, nine to five.
我有一份工作。
I have a job.
如果没有它，我会崩溃的。
Without it, I would fall apart.
和你一起在录音棚里有多少人？
How many people are in that studio with you?
一到两个人。
One or two.
哇。
Wow.
就我、一个工程师，有时候还有一个助手。
It's just me and an engineer and an assistant sometimes.
吉他技术员会进出。
Guitar tech comes in and out.
我回家后，会思考当天做了什么，如何改进，我一直在创作，会带新的东西进来，这是个点子吗？
And I go home, I think about what I did that day, how I can make it better, I'm always writing, I bring a new thing in, is this a thing?
不是。
No.
这是个点子吗？
Is this a thing?
是的。
Yes.
其实不是。
Actually, no.
这是个点子吗？
Is this a thing?
是的。
Yes.
没错，简直太棒了。
Actually, hell yes.
所有经历都不同，当你成功时，回家的感觉就像神一样。
All different experiences, and when you win, you go home feeling like a god.
嗯。
Mhmm.
今天有谁看到我刚刚创造出来的东西了吗？
Did anyone see what I just brought to life today?
我简直不敢相信。
I cannot believe.
我还在，我还在，这太不可思议了，太不可思议了。
I still have it, I still have it, this is incredible, this is incredible.
然后你又得去写另一首，你得去写另一首，又陷入和之前每首歌一样的挣扎中，你会想：我太差劲了，我已经没有灵感了，我完了，我结束了。
And then you have to go write another one, you go write another one, and you're stuck in the same slog that every other song was, and you go, I'm garbage, I don't have it anymore, I'm out, I'm done.
你会找到另一首的。
And you'll find another one.
我此刻如在天堂。
I'm on top of the world.
有时我会写一首歌，感觉特别棒，然后我就告诉自己：别再写歌了，休息两三天吧。
Sometimes I'll write a song and it'll be really good and I'll go, just don't write another one for two or three days.
放松一下，因为你的快乐程度只会被上一件让你沮丧的事所限制。
Just relax because you're gonna only be as happy as the last thing that frustrated you.
没错。
Right.
你知道的。
You know?
站在舞台上，面对成千上万的人表演，是什么感觉？
What is it like what does it feel like to be on stage performing in front of thousands and thousands of people?
那是一种完全不同的维度。
It's its own dimension.
这是一种独立的维度。
It's its own dimension.
我要明确地说，我和大多数音乐人非常不同，因为我不会——我得把这句话说完，因为如果不说完，听起来会有点吓人。
I will go on record as saying I'm really different than most musicians in that I don't, and I'm gonna have to finish this thought because it's gonna sound a little scary if I if I don't.
我不会从观众的能量中汲取力量。
I don't feed off the energy of the crowd.
对我来说，这并不是一种毒品。
I it is not a drug to me.
你常听人说，当灯光暗下来，听到那阵喧嚣时，就像一股毒品涌入体内。
You hear people say when the lights go down, you hear that noise, it's like comes in me like a drug.
我知道大多数人都是这样感觉的。
And I know that's how most people feel.
但我不是这样感觉的。
That's not how I feel.
每晚上台前，我都会对自己说：好吧。
Every night before I go on stage, go, okay.
好吧。
Alright.
我们开始吧。
Here we go.
因为我有点紧张做这件事。
Because I'm a little nervous to do that.
不是因为我担心自己做得不好，而是这种行为对我来说很陌生。
Not that I don't think I'm gonna be any good at it, but just the act of it is foreign.
然后我会上台。
And then I'll get on stage.
好吧。
Okay.
Alright。
Alright.
然后在第一首歌的中间，我就进入状态了。
And then somewhere in the middle of the first song, I'm gone.
我消失了。
I'm gone.
玩得正开心。
Having the time of my life.
人们不理解的是，当我站在台上时，我一直在担心他们是否没有我所能带给他们的那么开心。
The one thing people don't understand about that job, the entire time I'm up there, I am worried that they're not having as good a time as I could give them.
哦。
Oh.
并不是担心到让人不舒服的程度，但这是一个持续的考量。
Not worried to the point where it's unpleasant, but it is a constant consideration.
他们想要这首歌吗？
Do they want this song?
还是想要另一首歌？
Or do they want a different song?
他们是不是在等这首歌结束？
Are they waiting for this song to be over?
或者他们想要另一首歌？
Or do they want another song?
如果我现在必须制定一份歌单，我会讨厌它，因为我有来自音乐各个领域的太多曲目，我不知道每个人具体想要什么。
Am I playing like, if if I had to make a set list right now, I'd hate it because I have so much music from so many different areas of music that I don't know what anybody's exactly wants.
所以我必须写一份歌单，让每个人都有点失望，同时又都能满意。
So I have to start writing a set list that would disappoint people equally and satisfy them equally.
我只希望人们离开时觉得太棒了。
And so I only want people to go that was great.
我只希望他们开心。
I only want them to be happy.
所以我在演奏时花了很多时间想：他们想要这首吗？
So I spent a lot of time while I'm playing going like, they want this one?
答案总是：是的，老兄，他们就想要这些歌。
And the answer is always, yeah, man, they want those songs.
但当我演奏时，我的心情是一种非常奇怪的混合：极度自信和真实的自我交织在一起，而真实的我其实是这样的，
But while I'm playing, it's a very strange mix of like hyper confidence and like the person I really am, which is like,
我希望你喜欢《Right》。
I hope you like Right.
就像只是
Like just like
当我一边在宇宙中升腾一边弹着吉他时，我想着，我不知道你是否喜欢这首，但我希望你喜欢。
As I'm like ascending through through through the cosmos playing guitar, I'm like, I don't know if you like this one or not, but I hope you do.
现在是假期。
It is the holidays.
这是一场节日特别演出。
This is a holiday special.
我以前从没这么做过。
I've never done this before.
是的。
Yes.
你是那种会定新年决心的人吗？
Are you a New Year's resolution kinda guy?
模糊地。
Vaguely.
我觉得我自己这辈子已经做得足够好了，没必要一路走来彻底改变一切。
I don't I also think, like, I've done well enough in my life that I don't have to, like, over haul everything as I as I go through.
我是个新年决心型的人。
I'm a New Year's resolution guy.
你是在问我那会是什么吗？
Are you asking me what that might be?
嗯。
Mhmm.
你有吗？
Do you have one?
没有。
No.
还没有。
Not yet.
我打算在度假时想出来。
I'm gonna come up with that on vacation.
这可能是新年决心的一部分，就是做一些稍微不符合自己平时风格的事情。
This is part maybe of the New Year's resolution which is to just do things that are a little uncharacteristic.
你偶尔会觉得哪些事情是不符合自己风格的。
What you find uncharacteristic every once in a while.
所以现在我就是这样想的：好吧，这确实不像我平时的风格，但没关系。
And so this is really me going like, okay, this is out of character and that's okay.
我知道这不符合我的风格。
I know it's out of character.
会没事的。
It's gonna be okay.
如果我说了什么话，被新闻周期抓到并让我头疼两三天，我知道我依然会没事的。
If I say a thing that the news cycle picks up and gives me a headache for two or three days, I know I'm gonna be okay.
所以可能真有什么我没想到的东西，会让人们觉得：哦，我以前从来没听过他这么长篇大论地讲话，你知道吗？
So there might actually be something that exists that I didn't see coming that's really nice for people to go, oh, I never really heard him talk in long form, you know?
所以
So
我们正式启动你的新年决心。
We're kicking off your New Year's resolution.
就像你来当来电爸爸？
Like you coming on caller daddy?
嗯。
Yeah.
好的。
Okay.
你会害死我的。
You're gonna kill me.
好的。
Okay.
我求你了
I begged you
到这个，好吧。
to This is what okay.
我求过约翰。
I begged John.
是的。
Yeah.
我在这儿，我知道这儿有一把吉他。
I there I know there's a guitar here on
在线上。
the line.
把他的吉他带来。
To bring his guitar.
是的。
Yes.
更多是因为，你知道，我喜欢爸爸帮。
More because, you know, I love the daddy gang.
所有正在听、正在看的人，我爱你们。
Everyone listening, watching, I love you.
自私地说，我需要你们只演奏几首曲子。
Selfishly, I need you to play just a couple things.
我明白。
I get it.
你想看我做我刚才说了一个小时的事情吗？
You wanna watch wanna watch me do the thing I just talked about for an hour?
是的。
Yes.
好的。
Okay.
去拿吉他。
Get the guitar.
我们走吧。
Let's go.
我们开始吧。
Here we go.
这不是一个微不足道的时刻。
It's not a silly little moment.
这不是平静前的风暴。
It's not the storm before the calm.
这是深沉而濒死的呼吸。
This is the deep and dying breath.
这是我们一直不断努力的小事。
It's little that we've been working on and on.
我们正在下沉，你也能看到。
We're going down, and you can see it too.
我们正在下沉，你知道我们注定失败。
We're going down, and you know that we're doomed.
亲爱的。
My dear.
我们在燃烧的月光下缓慢起舞。
We're slow dancing in a burning moon.
我才是你一直梦寐以求的人。
I was the one you always dreamed of.
你是我试图描绘的人。
You were the one I tried to draw.
你怎么敢说这对我毫无意义。
How dare you say it's nothing to me.
宝贝，你是我见过的唯一光明。
Baby, you're the only light I ever saw.
我把所有的悲伤都充分利用了。
I'm made the most of all the sadness.
你知道你会是个婊子，因为你做得到。
You know you'd be a bitch because you can.
你试图打我，只是为了伤害我，让你离开时让我觉得自己肮脏，因为你根本无法理解。
You try to hit me just to hurt me so you leave me feeling dirty because you can't understand.
我们正在下沉。
We're going down.
你能看到，很快我们就将下沉。
And you can see it soon we're going down.
你知道，亲爱的，我们在燃烧的房间里跳着盐之舞。
And you know that we're doing My dear, we're salt dancing in a burning room.
非常感谢。
Thank you very much.
哇。
Wow.
我
I
我无话可说。
I have no words.
谢谢。
Thank you.
这不是
It's not
就像这首歌里我做的吉他独奏部分，但在原声吉他上，我只能这样
like there's like this guitar solo stuff that I do in the song, but on an acoustic, I just have to be like
不。
No.
没关系。
It's fine.
等等。
Wait.
你能看到那条线吗，佐治亚？
Can you see that line, Georgia?
我正沿着85号公路行驶，这是那种持续整个下午的清晨。
I'm driving up 85 in the kind of morning that lasts all afternoon.
我只是被困在阴郁之中。
I'm just stuck inside the gloomy.
给我
Give me
一个小时。
an hour.
你知道《Who Says》吗？
Do you know Who Says?
我想我听过。
Think I heard it.
是这样的
Goes
谁说我会被蜇到？
Who says I can't get stung?
关掉灯和电话。
Turn off the lights and the telephone.
我独自一人在家。
Me in my house alone.
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