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您正在收听《克拉克世界》杂志的播客。
You are listening to a Clarkesworld Magazine podcast.
我是您的主持人和旁白者，凯特·贝克。
I'm your host and narrator, Kate Baker.
欢迎收听2026年3月第234期的第三个故事。
Welcome to the third story for the month of March 2026 issue 234.
我希望在当前情况下，你一切安好。
I hope that this is finding you as well as can be, all things considered.
感谢你花时间来到克拉克世界，享受片刻的逃离。
I wanna thank you for spending the time here at Clarkesworld for a little escapism.
感谢你持续的支持。
I want to thank you for your ongoing support.
如果没有你们通过patreon.com/clarksworld提供的支持，我们无法做到这一切。
Without your contribution via patreon.com/clarksworld we can't do this.
所以，谢谢你们。
So thank you.
如果你是订阅者，如果你已经访问过Patreon，如果你去过clarksvillecitizens.com，或者你通过捐赠支持了我们，每一份支持都至关重要。
If you're a subscriber, if you've gone to Patreon, if you've gone to clarksvillecitizens.com, or you've chucked a few bucks our way via a donation, every little bit counts.
我无法表达对你们的感激之情。
And I can't thank you enough.
我们的故事名为《Elysium的交叉对话》，作者是赵卡琳。
Our story is titled Crosstalk, Elysium by Carolyn Zhao.
赵卡琳是一位科幻小说作家，已退休的英语专业毕业生，居住在纽约市和芝加哥。
Carolyn Zhao is a speculative fiction writer and retired English major based in New York City and Chicago.
她的作品曾发表于《Clarkesworld》和《Strange Horizons》。
Her work has been published in Clarkesworld and Strange Horizons.
她爱她的狗，几乎和狗爱她一样深。
She loves her dog almost as much as her dog loves her.
如果你喜欢刚才听到的内容，请回到symbiotic，其中Caruth的观点是正确的。
And if you like what you hear, go back to symbiotic and in which Caruth is correct.
所以，亲爱的听众，我希望你能放松身心，听我为你讲述一个故事。
So my dear listener, I hope that you can sit back, relax, and let me tell you a story.
给我讲一个一切顺利的故事。
Tell me a story where it all goes right.
假设我们只停靠在拥有最大翼展和最繁忙燃料管道的站点。
Say that we only ever stopped at the station with the largest wingspan and busiest fuel pipes.
五十多根长矛般的结构从船体中伸出，宛如巨大的船桨。
The 50 something spears jutting out of its hull like enormous oars.
边缘上灯火通明，来自其他飞船的光亮如同伊莉西姆般争抢着进食的位置。
The edges swarming with lights from all the other ships like Elysium fighting for their places to feed.
告诉我，当我眯起眼睛时，我仍能看见它熠熠生辉。
Tell me when I squint that I can still see it shine.
每当我们再次绕轨道运行时，远处的站点大厅便在漫长寂静的黑暗中闪烁，如同一个秘密。
Every few days as we swing around the orbit again the faraway station hall glimmers like a secret in the long quiet dark.
每次经过时，我都会在计数上加一道标记。
Whenever we pass it I add another mark to the tally.
九十。
90.
91。
91.
92。
92.
我每次绕行时都会大声数数，以防万一，但从来都没用，因为Elysium已经睡着了。
I count each orbit aloud just in case but it never works because Elysium is asleep.
它从内部开始裂成了两半。
It's broken in half from the inside out.
无论如何，Hearth以前总是这么说。
That's what Hearth used to say anyway.
它坏了。
It's broken.
就像一艘宇宙飞船是你随手扔到墙上后就再也拼不回去的东西。
Like a spaceship was something you just threw at the wall and couldn't put back together again.
不过，我也不太知道还能怎么称呼它。
I don't really know what else to call it though.
Elysium是一条长长的走廊，形状像一个U形转弯。
Elysium is one long piece of corridor shaped like a u-turn.
一端是左舷，另一端是右舷，中间则是一段漫长而空旷的死区，通向舰桥。
With a port on one end and starboard on the other and the bridge stretching in a long open dead zone in between.
我当时在左舷，靠近图书馆、餐厅和第三十四号引擎。
I was on port next to the library and mess and the thirty fourth engine.
Harth在下面。
Harth was below.
是。
Is.
曾经是。
Was.
他给她命名为Elysium，因为他从不想离开。
He named her Elysium because he never wanted to leave.
我可能不愿相信，但Harth从不说谎。
I might not want to believe it but Harth doesn't lie.
你看，Elysium是他的心血结晶。
Elysium's his baby you see.
他是在有人把船壳当废品出售时找到她的。
He found her when someone was selling the hull for junk.
他用自己全部财产的一半买下了她，把它当作自己的项目和家园。
He bought her with half of everything he had made it his project and his home.
当他带我们其他人上船负责维护、陪伴和编程时，他说Elysium也将属于我们。
And when he took the rest of us on for maintenance and company and programming he said that Elysium would be ours as well.
他最希望的是让我当他的副驾驶。
Most of all he wanted me to be his co pilot.
他希望我和这艘船能相处融洽。
He wanted me and the ship to get along.
我告诉他我本来就喜欢这艘船，而且Mori才是更好的飞行员。
I told him I already liked the ship and that Mori was the better pilot by far.
你去问她吧，别问我。
Ask her instead, not me.
但哈里特只说：多莉，这艘船和我一起时不知道该去哪儿。
But Harith only said, Dolly, the ship won't work with me on where to go.
不管你喜不喜欢，你都得给它一个机会。
You'll give it a chance whether you like it or not.
我三年前成为Elysium的飞行员。
I became Elysium's pilot three years ago.
在Elysium的故乡卡纳里，三是个幸运数字。
Three is lucky in Canari, Elysium is from.
莫里告诉我，驾驶一艘卡纳里飞船至少需要三名船员，其中飞船本身算作第三名成员。
Mori told me that three is the minimum number of crew members required to fly a Carnarian ship with the ship counting as the third member.
尽管它不能自己驾驶。
Though it can't pilot itself.
我们刚认识时，我说无论如何我都不会和莫里共事，即使我们已经在轨道上相处了好几个月。
Back when we first met I said there was no way I would work with Mori even after we'd been out on orbit for months already.
莫里抿紧了嘴唇。
Mori pursed her lips.
哈斯把手放在控制面板上，声音变得非常平静而轻柔。
Harth put his hand on the control panel and made his voice very calm and quiet.
莫里比我们找过的任何人都强，哈斯说。
Mori's better than anyone we've found, Hearth said.
所以我们打算好好利用她吗？
So we're going to put her to good use?
我问道。
I asked.
船长？
Captain?
哈斯的脉搏没有变化，但他的呼吸变了。
Hearth's pulse didn't change but his breathing did.
我能听到。
I could hear it.
莫里离开后，他带我进入天琴座的驾驶舱，让我带大家去最近的加油站。
After Mori left he got me into Elysium's cockpit and told me to take us all to the nearest fuel station.
我对轨道很熟悉，但还是想再确认一下。
I knew the orbits pretty well but I still wanted to reconfirm.
我们按下了引擎按钮，等待飞船响应。
We hit the engine button and waited for the ship to respond.
抱歉，我说。
Sorry, I said.
别道歉。
Don't be sorry.
你还想做训练吗？
Do you still want to do the exercises?
看看飞船怎么说，阿拉斯说。
See what the ship says, Aras said.
继续。
Go on.
如果你连船员都做不到礼貌，还不如自己一个人练习。
If you can't be polite to your crew member you may as well practice on your own.
试着友善一点。
Try being nice.
我不擅长友善，我说。
I'm awful at being nice, I said.
你会变得更好的，他说。
You'll get better, he said.
但我只是因为他开始告诉我该说什么才这么做的。
But I only did because he started telling me what to say.
每次飞行前，我上座之前都必须问Elysium一个问题。
Before each flight I had to ask Elysium a question before I got into the seat.
然后我得擦拭控制面板，假装向Mori道歉，并在启动引擎前给出答案。
Then I had to polish up the consoles and pretend to apologize to Mori and give the answer before I actually started the engines.
大概就是这么回事。
That was the gist of it.
我开始把这些问题和谜题记录在飞船的系统中，这样我们就能让Elysium更快地启动。
And I started keeping the questions and riddles in the ship's records so we could get Elysium to start quicker.
我讲得乱七八糟的。
I'm telling this all out of order.
过了这么久，很难理清头绪，但我必须把故事讲出来。
It's hard to keep track after so long but I need to get the story out.
哈里特编谜语总是比我强，即使我花更长时间思考问题。
Harith was always better at making riddles up than I was even when I thought for longer about the questions.
我觉得Elysium更喜欢他，因为那艘船其实是卡纳里安的，而大家都知道卡纳里安飞船偏爱特定的人。
I think Elysium preferred him because it was Carnarian actually and everyone knows Carnarian ships play favorites.
莫里说，昆阿里是靠近其他生命飞船集群——巴莱或潮汐——的古老星系之一。
Mori said that Qunari is one of those old star systems next to the other life ship cluster, Balay or Tide.
我记不清是哪一个了。
I can't remember which.
就是那个以三为不祥数字的星系，所有昆阿里飞船都遵循这个规律。
It's the one with triads unlucky number threes which is how all Qunarian ships operate.
飞船喜欢节奏感或渐进的模式。
The ships like rhythms or build ups.
他们喜欢在第三次尝试时答对问题。
They like getting questions right on the third try.
这就是为什么我和赫思选择用谜语，尽管我们花了大量时间思考难度适中的问题。
This was why Hearth and I chose to use riddles, though we spent a lot of time thinking about questions that were the right level of difficulty.
太难的问题会让我们在伊莉西姆生气时被困住。
A too hard question would leave us stranded when Elysium sulked.
太简单的问题会立刻启动引擎，剧烈震动，我们还没设定航向就加速突破光速了。
An easy one would start the engines immediately, juddering, and we'd take off and break light speed before even setting a trajectory.
赫思在我们第一次一起驾驶时就答对了一个问题。
Hearth got a question right the first time we piloted together.
第二次航行时我很紧张，因为前一天我用四次猜测用掉了我最好的谜语。
I was nervous on the second trip because I burned up my best riddle the day before with four guesses.
赫思坐在驾驶舱里皱着鼻子。
Hearth sat in the cockpit scrunching up his nose.
然后他从口袋里拿出一本小书——那是他保存最优美谜语和故事的纸质本，说：我有舌头却不会说话。
Then he took out a small book from his pocket, the analog one where he kept his most beautiful riddles and stories and said, I have a tongue but don't speak.
你能感受到我的存在，却永远触碰不到。
You can feel my presence but never touch.
他停顿了一下。
He paused.
我探头越过他的肩膀看了看那本书。
I took a look over his shoulder at the book.
我吞噬一切却不感到饥饿？
I consume but do not hunger?
我问道。
I asked.
差不多吧，他说。
Something like that, he said.
那我是什么？
So what am I?
我们等待着Elysium的回应。
We waited for Elysium to respond.
自从我们关上通往舰桥的门后，驾驶舱里就一片寂静。
It was silent in the cockpit since we'd closed the door to the bridge.
哈斯轻敲了飞行员的屏幕。
Harth tapped the pilot screen.
引擎没有发出嗡鸣声。
The engines weren't humming.
你觉得这太难了吗？
Do you think it's too difficult?
我不这么认为，我说。
I don't think so, I said.
但也许她不知道答案，因为她从未见过它？
But maybe she doesn't know the answer because she's never seen it before?
不，哈里特说。
No, Harith said.
这个问题还不够优雅。
The question's not elegant enough.
我们有足够的真实燃料，所以先写下几个答案，等结束后再录入日志。
We have enough real fuel so just write a couple of answers down and feed it to the logs when we're done.
他的声音变大了。
His voice got louder.
伊莉西姆。
Elysium.
你需要提示吗？
Do you want a hint?
它没有。
It didn't.
那就是秘密。
That was the secret.
正如哈斯和莫里所说，伊莉西姆从来不需要任何提示。
Elysium never wanted any hints as Harth and Mori said.
但它希望我替她作答，并假装是她猜对了。
But it wanted me to answer for her and pretend that she was the one who had guessed right.
如果你两次说错答案，然后说对一次，你就进入游戏了。
If you said the wrong answer twice and then the right answer once you'd be in play.
重要的是不要重复使用同一个谜语。
It was important not to use the same riddle more than once.
哈斯说，根据昆纳人智能理论，这被称为冗余。
Hearth said that that was called redundancy according to Qunarian intelligence theory.
因为如果你对飞船撒太多关于它已知事情的谎，它就会开始学会编造东西。
Because if you lied too much to the ship about things it knew it would start learning to make stuff up.
比如卡纳里的飞船，那些经过修复的、运行完美的飞船，总是不停地撒谎。
The ships in Kanari, for example, the fixed up ships, the ships that ran perfectly, told lies all the time.
它们吞下大量问题与答案、讲座与独白，就像那个古老的故事：一位神明将嘴对准海洋，因干渴而饮尽了海浪。
They swallowed down a diet of questions and answers of lectures and soliloquies Like that old story of the god who put his mouth to the ocean and drank the waves up out of thirst.
昆纳人的飞船吃了太多演讲、宣言和诗歌，最终学会了回应，并能预知未来。
The ships in Qunari ate so many speeches and manifestos and poems that they eventually learned how to talk back and tell the future.
每艘飞船都了解其两名飞行员的一切，而飞行员则必须编造更多故事，有时甚至用不同的语言，来激发飞船的好奇心，让它们愿意飞行。
Each ship knew everything about their two pilots while the pilots had to come up with even more stories, sometimes in different languages, to make the ships curious enough to fly.
整个卡纳里经济都围绕着这种讲故事的体系运转，因为如果飞船没有兴趣，任何事情都无法推进。
The entire Canarian economy orbited around this system of storytelling because nothing could get anywhere if the ships weren't interested.
我想我们很幸运，轮到的班次主要喜欢猜谜语。
I guess it was lucky we got a shift that mainly liked answering riddles.
有时我们会遵循传统，给伊莉西姆讲一些描述，比如谎言如何像抽筋一样在胃里蜷缩，或者外通风口的油漆如何干裂成厚厚的一层，我们可以用指甲剥下来。
Sometimes we follow tradition and fed Elysium a couple of descriptions like the way a lie could curl up in your stomach like a cramp or how the paint on the outer vents dried up into thick coats that we could peel off with our fingernails.
在向它灌输这些话语后，我们会把手放在膝盖上，等待引擎——我不确定卡纳里是否真的有人给飞船涂漆。
After we fed her the words, we'd sit on our hands and wait for the engine to I don't know if anyone in Kanari actually paints their ships.
哈斯说他在外缘的一个废品场找到了伊莉西姆，当时它正被拆解当废料。
Harth says he found Elysium at a junkyard on the outer rim where it was being broken down for scrap.
显然，它的系统里没有任何卡纳里代码，因此完全不具备航行能力。
Apparently there was no Kanarian code in the system which made it incompetent for any kind of wayfaring.
人们仅凭它右舷上雕刻的三尖标志，才认出它来自卡纳里。
They only knew it was Canari by the carved three point insignia on its starboard side.
但其余的漆面早已被太空本身、二氯石雨的高温，以及曾经驾驶它的人遗弃时的黑暗彻底剥蚀殆尽。
But the rest of its paint had already been scoured off by space itself, the heat of the showers of dichitis, and whoever ran it had left the ship in the dark on its own.
真正的加那利人不会抛弃飞船。
Real Kanadians don't abandon ships.
莫里曾经给我讲过一个故事，那时只有我们两个人。
Mori told me a story once when it was just the two of us.
他们会把死去的飞船炸成碎片。
That they blow their dead ships into pieces.
对于失去飞行员的飞船来说，这样死去是一种仁慈。
It was merciful to kill a ship that had lost its pilots.
事实上，有一个遥远的殖民地，完全由漂浮在黑暗中的濒死飞船组合而成。
In fact, there was a colony far away that was made completely out of dying ships drifting together in the black.
它们完好无损，直到不再完好。
They were intact until they weren't.
几年前，加那利人去把它们全部拆解了。
A few years ago the Kanarians went and took them all apart.
他们的舰队需要这些新材料。
Their fleet needed the new material.
这些飞船已经严重变形，而昆阿里本身也充斥着钢铁、铜、有机金属以及各种废料，因为他们发动了一场战争。
The ships were deformed and Qunari itself was running of steel, copper, organometallics, and all that scrap because they'd started a war.
不过这是很久以前的事了，如今在燃料补给站附近偶尔仍会爆发小规模冲突。
This was a long time ago, though skirmishes still break out sometimes around the fueling stations.
但实际情况是，活着的卡纳里安舰队前往了那些垂死飞船的殖民地，所有现存的三联飞行员通过无线电交流后一致认为，唯一的办法就是慢慢将这些垂死的飞船从殖民地的轨道上拖离。
But what happens was that the living Canarian fleet went to the colony of dying ships and all the existing triad pilots talked together over the radio and agreed that there was nothing to do but slowly drag the dying ships free of the colony's orbit.
他们准备了登船队伍，还发表了演讲，并轻声告诉那些垂死的飞船：只要它们愿意，随时都可以离开。
They prepared a boarding party, speeches and all, and whispered to the dying ships that they could leave whenever they wanted.
一位飞行员工程师——德莱德，会在那里等候它们。
That a pilot engineer, Dryad, would be out there waiting for them.
只要它们能挣脱这种僵局、这种纠缠的轨道、这个本不该有飞船死去的地方。
If only they could get free of this deadlock, this tangled orbit, this place where no ship was meant to die.
片刻之间，没有一艘飞船做出回应。
For a few moments no ship responded.
它们的形态已经扭曲得超乎想象。
They were deformed beyond belief.
但登船队每人守在一艘船上，耳朵贴着控制面板，倾听生命的迹象。
But the boarding party waited each of them on one ship with their ears to the control panels listening for signs of life.
这些飞船直到真正做出回应时才有所行动。
The ships didn't respond until they did.
一艘接一艘，引擎发出呻吟，飞船们挣扎着拖拽着自己离开集群，来到活船舰队面前，任由被登船、检查，随后被拆解。
One by one, their engines groaning, the ships jostled and dragged themselves out of the cluster and presented themselves to the living fleet and allowed themselves to be boarded, inspected, and later taken apart.
但这样的事永远不会发生在Elysium上，阿瑟后来告诉我。
But that'll never happen to Elysium, Arth told me afterward.
我们船员不是这样的。
That's not who we are as a crew.
我们会不断添加零件，而不是拆走它们。
We're going to keep adding parts, not taking them away.
每当一艘Qunari飞船燃料耗尽时，莫里说飞行员和工程师就能说服它重新启动。
Every now and then when a Qunarian ship ran low on fuel Mori said the pilot and the engineer could talk it into going again.
飞船会闷闷不乐地呻吟，因为它载着燃料跑来跑去实在太累了。
The ship would sulk and groan because it got so tiring carrying fuel around.
而且它也不愿意听从命令。
And also it didn't want to do what it was told.
但它是可以被说服的。
But it could be convinced.
如果一艘船不被说服，你就得在太空中一直待着，直到有人再次找到你。
When a ship wasn't convinced you'd have to stay there in space until someone found you again.
然后船员就得发出求救信号。
Then the crew would have to put out an SOS.
如果你运气好，会有人说服他们的船偏离航线去追踪信号。
If you were lucky, someone would talk their ship into going off course to follow the signal.
如果你运气不好，莫里说，你就只能待在那里，直到宇宙把它送过来。
And if you were unlucky, Mori said, that's where you'd stay until the universe sent it.
当飞船累了、燃料耗尽，或者飞行员讲的故事太无聊以至于无法保持清醒时，所有飞船都需要休息。
All ships need sleep when they're tired or when the fuel is out or when the pilot tells such boring stories that it's not possible to stay conscious.
新的昆纳rian飞船一开始都是在沉睡，直到飞行员决定唤醒它们。
New Qunarian ships start off sleeping until the pilot decides to wake them up.
现在Elysium完全醒着了，我想。
Elysium's wide awake now, I think.
它再也睡不着了。
It can't go back to sleep.
我正努力回想当时的情形。
I'm trying to remember how it went.
Mori过去常到我位于第三十四号引擎旁的房间来。
Mori used to come down to my room next to the thirty fourth engine.
有一次我刚上船，她靠在副驾驶座上，轻声问：你觉得我们还有多久？
One time after I got on board she leaned back on the co pilot seat and said very lightly, How long do you think we have?
你好，我说。
Hello, I said.
别装作她不在场似的，Hearth说。
Don't talk as if she's not there, Hearth said.
Mori是那种以为我没在听时，就会跟Harth说话的人。
Mori is the kind of person who talks to Harth when she thinks I'm not listening.
但我一直都在。
Though I always am.
当哈斯几个月后告诉她时，她停顿了一下，仿佛尝到了什么酸涩的东西。
When Harth told her that a few months in she paused for a little bit like she had tasted something sour.
然后八小时后，当哈斯沉睡时，莫里来到我靠近引擎室的房间。
Then eight hours later when Harth was dead asleep Mori came down to my room next to the engine rooms.
她靠墙坐下，开始讲一个故事。
She sat against the wall and started to tell a story.
并不是说有人需要听这个。
Not that anyone needs to hear it.
她只对我撒谎。
She only told me lies.
但即便如此，莫里还是经常下楼来和我聊天。
But even so Mori kept going downstairs to talk with me.
在第一年里，她不断敲击伊莉西姆上所有的对讲机，看看我是否真的能听到她，即使那时也是如此。
And in the first year she kept tapping on all the intercoms on Elysium to see if I could really hear her even then.
当然我能听到。
Of course I could.
即使她在舱外进行维护时进行太空行走，我也能听到她。
I could hear her even on spacewalks when she was out on the hull doing maintenance.
所以她以为我在跟踪她，尽管我并没有。
So she thought I was following her even though I wasn't.
整天跟踪一个人有什么意义呢？
What was the point in following someone all day?
在第二年，当哈里斯开始以不同的方式看待她时，莫里在夜里告诉我，她觉得他有点老了。
In the second ear when Harith started looking at her differently Mori told me in the night that she thought he was a little old.
而且在她睡觉时，她会梦见有一天去卡纳里。
And that while she was sleeping she'd dream of visiting Kanari one day.
当我们终于攒够了钱、食物、机会或真正的液态燃料时。
Once we finally had enough money or food or chances or real liquid fuel.
足够支撑我们往返的燃料。
Enough fuel to last us there and back.
卡纳里还存在吗？
Does Kanari even exist anymore?
我问了她。
I asked her.
当然存在，多莉，她说。
Of course it does, Dolly, she said.
你感觉不到吗？
Can't you feel it?
飞船随时都可以回家。
The ship can go home whenever it wants.
我告诉她她在撒谎。
I told her she was lying.
她笑了，回答说所有故事最终都是谎言。
She laughed and replied that all stories were lies in the end.
你一直撒谎，直到你的舌头耗尽、肺部崩溃，或者所有信念像一根只剩最后一根丝的薄绳桥一样彻底坍塌。
You keep lying until your tongue gives out or your lungs or all that belief collapses underneath you like a thin rope bridge on its last bit of thread.
每天我和赫斯一起把引擎启动后，莫里就会带我到下层甲板，为我构建她自己的世界。
After Hearth and I got the engine started every day, Mori would bring me down to the lower decks and build us a world of her own.
一个卡纳里依然存在的世界，在那里我们不必反复启动飞船，也不必在黑暗中四处寻找燃料。
A world where Kenari still existed and where we didn't have to keep jump starting the ship and hunting around for fuel in the dark.
我可以啜饮一杯加了碎冰的甜饮。
I could be sipping a sweet drink fresh with crushed ice.
我可以唱一首从收音机里听到的或从一张古老乐谱上学来的歌。
I could be singing a song I'd learned over the radio or from an ancient sheet of music.
我可以走进淋浴间，让温热的水雾从喷头中洒落在身上。
I could be stepping into one of the showers bathing myself in lukewarm water that misted out of the nozzles.
那水像油漆和油一样包裹着我的皮肤。
Water that coated my skin like a paint and oil.
他们对此都很低调。
They were discreet about it.
即使我们靠岸时，赫斯和莫蒂也很少离开飞船。
Hearth and Morty didn't often leave the ship even when we docked.
通常，莫蒂会在驾驶舱里为我唱歌，而赫斯在发动机舱里叮叮当当地摆弄着伊莉西姆的内部，仿佛它根本感觉不到任何痛楚。
Usually Morty would sing me something in the cockpit as Hearth clanked around the engine room prodding at Elysium's insides, like it couldn't feel anything in the slightest.
每次检查时我都感到恶心，只能强忍着，同时莫里为我朗读我们下一次太空任务的航行日志。
I always felt queasy during these inspections and had to endure it as Mori read me the travel log for our next mission out into space.
那些日子里，我们的货物越来越多地塞满了废金属、备用零件、老旧和毁坏的机械装置，以及简陋的医疗设备。
Those days more and more our cargo became packed full of scrap metal, spare parts, old and destroyed mechanical work, and meager medical equipment.
战争的残骸。
The detritus of war.
未来的残骸。
The detritus of a future.
根据赫斯的要求，我晚上会醒着，盯着那漆黑而冰冷的反应堆核心。
I'd stay awake at night at hearth's request watching the dark searing cold reactor core.
天一亮，我就跑向驾驶舱，赫斯在那里等着和我谈话。
As soon as morning broke I ran to the cockpit where hearth was waiting to talk to me.
飞船的核心一片寂静。
The core of the ship was quiet.
太安静了。
Too quiet.
我不得不自言自语来保持清醒。
I'd have to talk to myself to stay awake.
我无法想象自己会想要这样的工作，这样的故事，而我是唯一一个能讲述它的人。
And there was no world where I wanted that kind of work, that kind of story, where I was the only one there to tell it.
但现在没有人能讲述我们的故事了。
But there's no one to tell our story now.
我不明白为什么事情总是不能按正确的顺序发生。
I can't understand why things won't come in the right order.
我必须说出关于莫莉的真相，那些她在黑暗中一直对我讲话的夜晚。
I have to tell the truth about Morrie and the nights she kept talking to me in the dark.
哦，她讲故事可真不怎么样。
Oh, she was bad at storytelling.
总是拐弯抹角，东拉西扯。
So roundabout and discursive.
有一晚，我听到莫里在说话。
One night I heard Mori speaking.
当我们停靠在殖民地明亮的核心附近时，邻近的加油站正围绕着太阳运转。
The neighboring fuel station orbited the sun while we were shipside near the bright nuclear heart of the colony.
在艾莉西姆睡下后，莫里将身体倾向赫斯，开始用缓慢的声音说话。
Mori had leaned her body toward Hearth after Elysium had been put to sleep And she had begun talking in a slow voice.
赫斯握着一根氧气管，用手指摩挲着管帽。
Hearth was holding an oxygen line and rubbing the cap between his fingers.
橙色的光从装卸码头透射进来，昏黄地漫过地面，他们的身影化作了剪影。
An orange light loomed through the loading docks, leaching its sallow way across the floor, and their bodies became silhouettes.
我再也看不清他们的表情了。
I couldn't see either of their expressions anymore.
在她察觉之前，我们只剩下这么点时间了，”莫里说。
There's only so much time before she catches on, Mori said.
我们已经足够幸运，走到了这一步。
We've been lucky enough to make it so far.
我不希望再继续冒险了。
I don't want to keep taking chances.
霍勒斯没有回答她，但他关上了氧气阀，随意地握着管线，仿佛准备把它搭在胳膊上。
Horace didn't answer her but he closed the oxygen cap and held the line casually like he was about to loop it over his arm.
我喜欢他保持沉默。
I liked that he kept quiet.
我喜欢他们不知道我在偷听，尽管整艘飞船的人都睡着了。
I liked that they didn't know I was listening even though the entire ship was asleep.
我在他们没注意到的情况下打开了音频系统。
I had switched on the audio system without either of them noticing.
但听他们说话让我内心感到轻飘飘又恐慌，仿佛正坠入一张无法承托我的网。
But listening to them made my insides feel light and panicky, a sense of falling into a net that wouldn't hold.
我确信赫斯站在我这边。
I was sure Hearth was on my side.
莫里不是。
Mori was not.
在她告诉我的整个故事中，始终有一种保留的感觉，仿佛就连在夜里，我也不值得被了解。
And throughout the story she told me there was a sense of holding back even at night as if I weren't worth getting to know.
但哈斯了解我。
But Hearth knew me.
伊莉西恩听我说话，比听任何人说话都更轻松。
Elysium listened to me easier than it did anyone else.
如果我是伊莉西恩最出色的飞行员，那么莫里最终就没必要除掉我。
And if I were the best pilot on Elysium there would be no need for Mori to get rid of me in the end.
我确信哈斯会理解。
And I was sure that Harth would understand.
莫里终究还是低估了我。
Mori was underestimating me after all.
氧气管。
The oxygen line.
这就是我忘了提的事。
That's what I forgot to mention.
我忘了说我们运的是什么。
I forgot to say what we were carrying.
当我们在空间站附近靠近战斗时，Elysium会运送人质。
Elysium carried hostages back when we were near the skirmishes around the stations.
当他们的飞船在战场上被击落时，我们会救起一些落单的人。
We'd picked up a couple of the stragglers when their ships were shot down in the field.
当一艘飞船失去动力时，你可以直接瞄准引擎将其摧毁，或者攻击氧气罐，让船员窒息而死。
When a ship went dark you could either target the engines directly and destroy them or go for the oxygen tanks and leave the crew to suffocate.
有时当飞船完整地损毁时，我们会飘过去，给幸存者一个前往星球的机会。
Sometimes when a ship died intact we'd float over and offer any survivors a chance at getting planetside.
但大多数情况下，我们会遭到拒绝。
More often than not we'd be denied.
船员通常与他们心爱的飞船同归于尽，但偶尔我们会遇到一些感激我们提供氧气和牢房的乘客。
A crew goes down with its beloved craft but occasionally we'd find ourselves saddled with passengers who were grateful for oxygen and a cell.
那是战争的早期阶段。
That was in the early stages of the war.
后来，救援敌方人员已经毫无意义，因为他们已经绝望到会攻击救援者，甚至杀人。
Later on there was no use rescuing enemy members because they were desperate enough to fight the rescuers or even kill.
在我离开Elysium前的最后一段时间，我们在几次小规模冲突的边缘救起了两名乘客。
The last year I was with Elysium around the edges of a couple skirmishes we picked up two passengers.
一名备用的加那利工程师和飞行员。
A spare Canarian engineer and pilot.
这位工程师叫凯尔，他发出求救信号时已经63岁，精疲力尽。
The engineer was called Kel and he was 63 and tired when he sent out the rescue signal.
我从未得知那位飞行员的名字，因为即使我们从飞船残骸中救出她时，她也一言不发。
I never learned the pilot's name because she kept silent even as we picked her out of the ship's corpse.
她既没有恳求活命，也没有解释为什么弃船。
She didn't try to plead for her life or explain why she abandoned ship.
有些飞行员就是这样的。
Some pilots are like that.
他们乐于抛下自己的飞船。
Happy to leave their ship behind.
不过，和凯尔聊天很容易。
It was easy to talk to Kel though.
他很坦率，当赫斯问他关于忠诚和立场的问题时，他的声音在通讯器里清晰响亮。
He was open and his voice came in loud over the comms as Hearth questioned him about loyalties and allegiances.
然而，那位飞行员却完全沉默。
The pilot, however, was totally mute.
我们每次检查时，她大多都在睡觉，只有当莫里提到我的名字时，她才会睁开眼睛。
She'd be asleep most of the time we checked And the only time she opened her eyes was when she heard Mori mention my name.
多莉，你是这么叫她的吗？
Dolly, is that what you call her?
飞行员问道。
The pilot asked.
莫里没有回答。
Mori didn't answer.
我当时以为她只是没听到飞行员说的话。
I thought then that she just didn't hear what the pilot said.
那时我还有其他更担心的事情。
At the time I had other things to worry about.
比如，哈斯和莫里已经完全不再与艾莉西姆交流了。
Harth and Mori, for example, had stopped talking to Elysium entirely.
每当我们需要启动引擎时，哈斯都会交叉双臂坐在飞行员座位上，等着我开口。
Whenever we needed to start the engines, Harth sat in the pilot's seat with his arms crossed waiting for me to speak.
我会逃避这种催促，但他会再次推我，逼我替艾莉西姆提问或作答。
I would shrink from the prompting but he'd prod me again into asking a question or answering it in Elysium's stead.
这种压力让我精疲力尽，而艾莉西姆的回答也越来越少、越来越低、越来越慢。
The pressure tired me through and Elysium seemed to answer less and less lower and slower still.
有一次，当我试图提问时，艾莉西姆彻底关机了。
One time when I tried to ask a question Elysium shut down completely.
一片漆黑。
All dark.
黑得连灯光瞬间熄灭，伴随着一声巨大的轰鸣，在走廊里回荡。
So dark that the lights went out at once in an enormous bang that echoed down the corridor.
我坐在漆黑中，恐惧不已，突然感到一阵强烈的困倦，哈斯笑了。
As I sat there terrified in the black, struck suddenly by an immense drowsiness, Harth laughed.
你总有一天会明白的，他说。
You'll you'll get there one day, he said.
我们可能只能继续尝试了。
We may just have to keep trying.
艾莉西姆本不该这样睡着。
Elysium wasn't meant to fall asleep like that.
我也不该现在睡觉。
I'm not meant to sleep now either.
那时，我也开始通过通讯设备听到一些断断续续的对话。
At that time I also began to catch snippets of conversation through the comms.
过往的飞船在太空中彼此交谈，问问题并回答。
The passing ships talked to each other through space asking questions and answering them.
它们想知道其他飞船，以及黑暗中的其他路径。
They wanted to know about the other craft, other paths through the dark.
有时我觉得他们在跟我说话，说一些像‘你怎么样？’这样的话。
Sometimes I thought they were talking to me saying things like, How are you?
还有‘你去哪了？’
And Where have you been?
我曾经向他们发送信号，说我不知道自己怎么样了，让他们别跟陌生人说话。
I used to send signals out to them saying that I didn't know how I was and to stop talking to strangers.
有时因为他们的声音太大，我就打开了通讯设备。
I opened the comms sometimes because they were so loud.
我认为我们听得多一些，Elysium 就会少睡一些。
I thought that the more we listened, less Elysium would sleep.
把乘客运送到中立空间花了一段时间。
It took a while to deliver the passengers through neutral space.
我们有一次停靠在一颗行星上，那里风冷得让飞船都结冰了。
One of the few times we stopped at a planet where the wind blew so cold that the ship froze up.
我们不得不花了几个星期寻找燃料，但引擎还能运转。
We had to take a couple of weeks to find fuel but the engines could chew.
这艘飞船部分依靠矿石运行，除此之外还需要不断劝说和编故事。
The ship ran partly on ore besides the work of cajoling and story spinning.
于是赫斯穿上宇航服，打开气闸，让自己缓缓降落在沙地上。
So Hearth pulled on a suit and opened the airlock and lowered himself down to the sand.
这颗星球已陷入无尽的黑夜，仅由三颗明亮恒星的针尖般微光和一轮犹豫的黄月之眼照亮。
The planet had sunk into an endless night punctured only by the needlepoint gleam of three bright stars and the eye of a hesitant yellow moon.
赫斯离开后，莫里蜷缩在自己的房间里，再也没有出来。
After Hearth left, Mori curled up in her room and didn't come out.
我听见她在里面敲击着指令、订单、配送脚本、重量和燃料计算。
I heard her tapping through orders, instructions, delivery scripts, weight, and fuel calculations.
乘客们仍滞留在下层甲板各自的牢房里。
The passengers still lingered below deck in their respective cells.
凯尔开始做一些长时间的体能训练，不时发出 grunt 声，靠双手和双脚在地板与墙壁间上下撑动。
Kell had begun a couple of long physical exercises grunting here and there as he levered himself up and down against the floor and walls.
飞行员盘腿坐在房间中央，一动不动。
The pilot sat cross legged in the center of the room and didn't move.
她的沉默让我害怕，我想象那沉默中蕴含着严厉、滔天的怒火，或是彻底而可怕的暴力。
Her silence scared me and I imagine the silence held severity a towering rage or an utter and terrible violence.
然而，在Hearth离开后的第三天，Kell第一次按下了他牢房里的通讯按钮。
On the third day after Hearth left however, Kell was the one who pressed the comm button in his cell for the first time.
Mori听到铃声后醒了过来。
Mori woke up when she heard the ringing.
我们慢慢往下走。
We made our way slowly down.
你不能进入牢房。
You couldn't go into the cells.
没人知道乘客们会做什么，所以Mori留在外面，门被磁力牢牢锁住。
There was no telling what the passengers would do so Mori stayed outside with the door magnetized shut.
Kell从玻璃的另一侧凝视着我们，玻璃清晰地映出我们的身影，仿佛我们就站在他身旁。
Kel gazed out from the other side of the glass, which mirrored us clearly as if we were standing just next to him.
Mori按下了通讯按钮。
Mori pressed the comms button.
需要帮忙吗？
Can I help you?
她问道。
She asked.
如果你不介意的话，我希望能看看这颗行星，”吉尔说。
I was hoping to see the planet if you were amenable, Gel said.
我听说这里的月亮特别美，是吗？
I've heard the moon is particularly beautiful around these parts, is it?
恐怕我不能这么做，”莫里说。
I'm afraid I can't do that, Mori said.
是船长的命令。
Captain's orders.
就看一眼。
Just a quick look.
他的声音温和，略带沙哑，我能听出他因锻炼而疲惫。
His voice was gentle, slightly worn at the edges, and I could tell he was tired from the exercises.
展开剩余字幕（还有 240 条）
即使他努力尝试，也无法破坏这个磁铁。
He couldn't break the magnet if he tried.
莫里打开了细胞的控制面板。
Mori opened the control panel to the cell.
控制门的那个，他后退时灯亮了。
The one that controlled the door, he backed in lights.
多莉，你在听吗？
Dolly, are you listening?
她问。
She asked.
是的，我说。
Yes, I said.
关闭通讯，去暖一下飞船。
Shut off the comms and go warm up the ship.
我去了驾驶舱，切换通讯，来回切换各个房间。
I went to the cockpit and toggled the comms, switching back and forth between rooms.
如果你保持警报安静，我告诉了Elysium。
If you keep the alarm quiet, I told Elysium.
我不会告诉Mori我们偷听了。
I won't tell Mori that we listened in.
这会是个秘密。
It'll be a secret.
你和我，一起搭档。
You and I, partners together.
飞船听着我说话，似乎沉静而耐心地考虑着这个交易。
The ship listened to me talk and seemed to consider the deal pensive and patient.
我打开了通讯器，调到了sellin的频率，直到听到Mori的呼吸声。
I turned on the comms and adjusted for the frequency of the sellin till I heard Mori's breathing.
Kel在金属地板上来回走动的轻柔撞击声。
The soft clangs of Kel walking back and forth on metal floors.
驾驶舱被那轮明月照亮。
The cockpit was lit by that moon.
霜雪凝结在窗户的弧形边缘。
The frost had gathered around the curvature of its windows.
远处的白沙将我们与裂缝深渊隔开，那里正是炉火降落之处。
All along the distance white sand separated us from the gulf of the crevice which was where hearth had descended.
我随时期待看到一个瘦小的身影从满载矿石的深沙地中爬出来。
Any moment I expected to see a tiny figure clamor out of the deep sanded earth laden with ore.
他会看到明亮如余烬的驾驶舱，知道我正在那里等他。
He would see the cockpit bright like an ember and he'd know that I was waiting there.
但在他抵达飞船前，我有时间打开了通讯系统。
But I had time to open up the comms before he reached the ship.
这不过是轻轻一拨开关而已。
It was a simple flip of a switch.
当我转动旋钮时，用一些谜语唤醒了沉睡的飞船。
As I turned the dials, I coaxed the ship out of sleep with some riddles.
我已经想出了几个关于距离、思念的新谜语，而伊莉西姆仿佛正从梦中苏醒，轻轻颤抖。
I'd already come up with some new ones about distance and longing and Elysium stirred like it was shaking off a dream.
我感觉到细胞的噪音变得尖锐而清晰。
I felt the cell's noise sharpen and clear.
他们在说话。
They were talking.
没有争吵的声音，只有莫里声音的音量。
There was no sound of argument but the volume of Mori's voice.
她仍然靠近控制面板本身。
She was still close to the control panel itself.
如果需要，她可以关掉灯，或者让它们之间的窗户消失。
If needed, she could turn off the lights or allow the window between them to fall away.
凯尔的声音平静而温柔。
Kel's voice came calm and gentle.
那语气像祖父母一样劝诱。
It had a coaxing tone to it like a grandparent's.
我以前从未听过有人用这种语气，除了我在翻找的录音里，或那些飘荡在太空中的各艘飞船的声音。
I'd never heard anyone use that tone before, except in recordings I'd rifled through or in the various ships' voices that came wafting through space.
现在，开始讲话。
Now the speech.
莫里让凯躺下。
Mori told Kel to lie down.
凯说他不会躺下，他担心的不是自己，而是我们所在的这艘船。
Kel said he wasn't going to and that he was worried not about himself but about the ship we were on.
他称之为伊莉西姆。
Elysium, he said.
这就是你们给它起的名字吗？
Is that what you called it?
天堂之船。
The ship of paradise.
接下来发生了什么？
What happened next?
莫蒂说凯应该再躺下。
Morty said that Kel should lie down again.
她非常平静，甚至很放松。
She was very calm, even relaxed.
凯尔似乎在寻找某种支点，这表明莫蒂可能会回应，甚至会留意。
Kel seemed to be grasping for leverage, a sign that Morty would engage or even listen in.
但他找不到。
But he couldn't find it.
如果我努力尝试，就能看到他们。
I can see them if I try hard enough.
凯尔缓慢地拖着脚步靠近门边，一只手紧张地抬着，他的乘客服在窗边的光线下显得暗淡的橙色。
Kell slowly shuffled closer to the door with a hand up in trepidation, his passenger suit dull orange in the light from the window.
莫蒂靠在牢房门框上。
Mori had leaned against the frame of the cell door.
我没看到接下来发生了什么。
I didn't see what happened next.
我只听到了声音。
I only heard it.
凯尔直视着门边的通讯器，大声问道：你们是谁？
Kel looked directly at the comms by the door and said very loudly, Who are you?
莫里输入了密码，牢房的墙壁向太空敞开。
And Mori punched the code and the cell walls opened up to space.
通讯器里没有声音。
No sound from the comms.
这颗行星的大气层无法维持生命。
The atmosphere on the planet was not survivable.
伊莉西姆的摄像头追踪着凯卢特那橙色的小点，它在沙地上旋转，最终落在遥远的一处柔软寒冷的沙丘上，化作一个微小的斑点。
Elysium's cameras followed the orange dot of Kelsoot as it whirled over the sands and settled as a speck on a soft cold dune very far away.
我一度以为他动了，或者想站起来，但那只是风。
I thought for a moment he moved or was trying to get up but it was wind.
风塑造了这些沙丘。
Wind had formed the dunes.
现在，那个橙色的小点微微升起，又缓缓飘落。
Now the orange speck rose slightly and drifted down.
沙子滚动着，将那抹色彩吸纳入自身，星球又抹去了一处细枝末节。
The sand rolled and took the drop of the color into itself, the planet dobbing over one more extra detail.
莫里关上了牢房，空气再次通过通讯器呼啸而过，白色静电涌来，取代了寂静。
Mori shut the cell and the air began to whir through the comms once more, the white static rushing in to displace the quiet.
喂？
Hello?
她轻敲了通讯器。
She tapped the comm.
多莉，你在吗？
Dolly, are you there?
我原本在的，但我感觉很不安，仿佛被从自己和伊莉西姆身上割离，飞船的引擎开始在船体内部剧烈震颤。
I was there but I felt jittery, like I'd been cut loose from myself and Elysium's engine had started shuddering through the ship's gore.
是，是？
Y yes?
我说。
I said.
我的声音比之前更微弱了，带着一丝呻吟。
My voice seemed tinier than before a touch of a groan.
我我在这里。
I'm I'm here.
发生什么事了？
What happened?
乘客决定走路，莫里说。
Passenger decided to walk, Mori said.
我给了他一套衣服。
I gave him a suit.
他会通过无线电向最近的昆纳人飞船报告位置，看看他们能否送他到一个站点。
He'll radio his position to the nearest Qunarian ship, see if they can get him to a station.
他遇到麻烦了吗？
Is he in trouble?
我们可以问问哈斯，看是否能帮忙。
We'll ask Harth if we can help.
她的声音高亢而愉快。
Her voice was high and cheery.
有一刻，我担心她听出了我语气中的熟悉感——我们正假装着，以伊莉西姆为见证，声称凯离开是因为想家了。
For a moment I was afraid she recognized her tone in my own that we were pretending together with Elysium as witness that Kel had left because he missed home.
我记得我和莫里以前也互相骗过。
And I remember that Mori and I had lied to each other before.
我开玩笑地告诉她，有一次我在燃料室里听不到伊莉西姆的声音。
I told her that I couldn't hear Elysium in the fuel room once as a joke.
当她去检查机器时，我用伊莉西姆最强的磁铁把门从她身后锁上了。
And when she searched through the machinery to check, I'd locked the room behind her with the strongest magnet Elysium had.
她用力捶门，直到拳头都肿了。
She'd pounded on the door until her fists were swollen.
她后来笑着对哈斯说，
She said later on laughing with hearth.
幸好我放她出来了。
Good thing I let her out.
但情况并非如此。
But that hadn't been the case.
哈斯一问起她在哪，磁铁就自动解开了，莫里走出了房间。
As soon as Harth started asking where she was the magnet undid itself and Mori walked out of the room.
她告诉他，她不小心把自己锁在里面了。
She told him she had locked herself in by mistake.
又一个谎言。
Another lie.
我确信总有一天她会说出真相，甚至曾等待过，但在她决定保守秘密很久之后，我心中却充满了沉重而痛苦的羞愧，害怕如果我再次检查磁铁或走进燃料室，会发现什么。
I was sure one day she'd tell the truth, even waited for it, but long after she decided to keep the secret I felt loaded aching shame in my heart for what I'd done and a fear of what I'd find in the fuel room if I checked the magnets again or went inside.
埃利西姆，”当莫蒂锁上牢房时，我轻声说道。
Elysium, I said quietly as Morty locked down the cells.
埃利西姆，你在吗？
Elysium, are you there?
你看到发生什么了吗？
Did you see what happened?
飞船在黑暗中巡航。
The ship cruised through the dark.
我坐在驾驶舱里，感到一种平静的安宁，尽管我知道自己可能已经睡着了。
I felt a placid calm where I was perched in the cockpit, though I was sure I was dreaming already.
我对着麦克风低语。
I whispered into the microphone.
莫里对我撒了谎。
Mori lied to me.
你不会告诉她我知道这件事，对吧？
You won't tell her that I know.
是的。
Right?
伊莉西娅不会说出去的。
Elysium wouldn't tell.
她是我的，我也是她的。
She was mine and I was hers.
卡纳尔迪安飞船从不会抛弃他们的飞行员。
And Carnardian ships don't leave their pilots behind.
如果凯尔还 somewhere 在外面，可能会有飞船降落寻找他坠落的地方。
If Kel was still somewhere out there a ship might have landed in search of where he'd fallen.
在这期间，我们从未检查过是否另有飞船跟随我们穿越星空，但赫思一直认为他们的飞船已经报废了。
All the while we never checked if another ship had followed us through the stars but Hearth always assumed their craft was dead.
确实如此。
Which it was.
而且那些乘客比什么都更需要一次飞行。
And that the passengers needed a flight more than they needed anything else.
他对第一部分是对的。
He was right about the first part.
但其余部分都错了。
Wrong about the rest.
凯尔死后，赫思一周后带着合适的矿石抵达了。
After Kel's death, Hearth arrived a week later with the right kind of ore.
莫里和我坐进驾驶舱，启动了伊莉西乌姆号，而赫思在房间里 unpack，我们俩一边聊天，一边等他睡觉。
Mori and I settled into the cockpit and got Elysium going as Hearth unpacked in his room, and we both made conversation with each other as he slept.
最好别引起怀疑。
It seemed best not to arouse suspicion.
莫里当然猜到了我看到了什么，但她没表现出来。
Mori certainly suspected what I'd seen, but she didn't show it.
我开玩笑地提起了油漆的话题。
I brought up the topic of paints as a joke.
我说，如果我们能顺路停靠一个空间站，就可以趁夜在船身上涂鸦，给赫思一个惊喜。
Said if we could stop by a station for fun, we could tag the hull of the ship overnight and surprise hearth with a mural.
莫里笑了，建议我们把喷漆罐存放在她的房间。
Mori laughed and suggested that we store the canisters in her room.
我以为那件事就这样过去了。
I thought it was over then.
我真以为我们还有时间去涂漆。
I could believe that we had time for paint.
我们又在太空里航行了数月，才再次抵达这座空间站的轨道。
We went a few more months in space before we arrived in the orbit of the station again.
当那艘生命舰调转航向朝我们驶来的时候，另一个小队发来的消息就传了过来。
As the life ship rose around to face us a message came in from the other cell.
“有一段无线电信号接入了。”赫斯说道。
We're getting a radio in, Hearth said.
说不定我们很快就能把她送下去了。
Maybe we drop her off soon.
那时候我就知道那个飞行员会开口的。
That's how I knew the pilot would talk.
她必须得交代出自己所在位置的坐标。
She would have to give the coordinates to her location.
这一次，赫斯和森一起下去了。
This time, Hearth went down together with Mori.
我在驾驶舱里靠着伊利修姆昏昏欲睡，这时候她大部分时间都在沉睡。
I drowsed back at the cockpit with Elysium, who by now spent most of her time sleeping.
尽管偶尔引擎和心脏会轰鸣着放缓节奏。
Though occasionally the engine and heart would come rumbling to slow life.
一种微弱的暗示，表明飞船仍想倾听我们，仍能响应。
A faint suggestion that the ship still wanted to listen to us and still could.
我又梦见了如颜料般的水，梦见了饮尽海洋的昆纳里众神，梦见了开端，以及那些在太空中孤独地被锁链连在一起的废船。
I dreamed again of water like paint, of Qunarian gods who drank oceans, and of beginnings and of junkyard ships found chained together alone in space.
警报响了。
And the alarm sounded.
警报声刺耳、鲜红而明亮，通讯器里杂音噼啪作响，随后迅速清静下来。
It blared loud and red and bright and the comms crackling the static and quickly clearing themselves up.
哈斯的声音传来。
Harth's voice said.
多莉，我们遭到攻击了。
Dolly, we've been attacked.
立即启动飞船。
Start the ship immediately.
攻击意味着受损。
Attack meant damaged.
被攻击意味着有敌方船员。
Attacked meant an enemy crew.
但当Elysium的摄像头环顾四周时，我没有看到任何飞船附着在我们身上，像寄生虫一样钻入血肉。
But as Elysium's cameras glanced around, I didn't see any ships latched onto us, parasites burrowing into flesh.
莫里大喊：关闭所有通讯设备。
Turn off all the comms, Mori shouted.
她的声音在静电干扰中变得尖锐而慌乱，我突然意识到他们两人都在撒谎。
Her voice had gone high and frantic even through the static and suddenly I realized that both of them were lying.
飞行员已经逃走了。
The pilot had escaped.
她欺骗了哈斯或莫里，打开了通向她冰冷白色牢房的窗户，爬了出去，正沿着飞船深处的走廊狂奔，朝驾驶舱而去。
She had tricked Harth or Mori and had thrown open the window to her cold white cell, climbed out, and was sprinting through the deep corridors of the ship and toward the cockpit.
她奔跑时没有发出任何声音。
She didn't make any noise as she ran.
我还没来得及关上她周围所有重要的门。
I hadn't yet closed all the important doors around her.
飞船颤抖着沉寂下来，我能感受到她的奔跑透过我的胸膛。
The ship shivered and slept and I could feel the running through my chest.
每一步都伴随着完整而急促的心跳，每一扇门的撞击声都回荡在我的骨髓里。
Every step of full and uttering heartbeat and every clang of a door ringing through my bones.
我现在明白，她早已设定了目标，因为她的奔跑方式是本能，或许是多年训练的结果。
I see now that she'd set her goal long ago because the way she ran was instinct or maybe the product of years of training.
她对‘伊莉西姆’了如指掌。
She knew Elysium inside and out.
也许是凯尔向她提供了情报，又或者因为她本就是一名真正的飞行员。
Maybe Kel had fed her information or maybe it was because she was a real pilot.
我在地图上看到她的热信号像一颗微型太阳般闪烁。
I saw her heat signature blinking on our maps like a miniature sun.
当她冲过通讯设备并一把将它们从墙上扯下，爆出一阵阵静电时，那信号逐渐暗淡了。
It dimmed as she scrambled past comms and ripped them out of the walls in bursts of static.
接收器一个个陷入黑暗，而她像真理一样坚定地朝飞船驾驶舱前进。
The receivers crashed to darkness one by one and she made her path to the ship's cockpit as surely as truth.
尽管她是个陌生人，在伊莉西姆甚至没人知道她的名字。
Even though she was a stranger, just a stranger in Elysium didn't even know her name.
我待在驾驶舱里，因恐惧而僵住。
I waited in the cockpit, frozen from fear.
莫里现在已经完全掌控了通讯系统，仍在大喊和恳求，但哈斯的声音已经沉默了。
Mori had taken full control of the comms now, still shouting and pleading but Harth's voice had gone silent.
他离开了囚室，也开始奔跑，沿着同样的路径。
He had left the cells and started running too, following the same path.
飞行员在冰冷的金属走廊中轰然奔袭。
The pilot thundered down the cold metal halls.
我能听见她正逼近，毫不怀疑，一旦她掌控了控制台，就会彻底摧毁伊莉西姆。
I could hear her coming and I had no doubt that if she got to the control she would certainly destroy Elysium completely.
那么，哈斯的付出、莫里的努力、我的辛劳，以及多年运送货物和搜寻物资的成果，都将化为乌有。
Then Hearth's work, Mori's work, my work, years of hauling cargo and scavenging would be completely gone.
而我们会漂浮在太空中，成为另一艘流浪飞船的乘客。
And we'd be adrift in space, passengers to another wandering ship.
我们再也回不去了。
We would never come back.
飞行员冲过走廊，踉跄地转过急弯，冲进驾驶舱门。
The pilot ran down the corridors and staggered through the sharp turn and through the cockpit door.
莫蒂敲打着通讯器大喊：停下她，Elysium。
And Morty banged on the comms and shouted, stop her Elysium.
我不知道自己是怎么做到的，为什么这么做，但我没有关闭飞船，反而激活了磁力装置，将飞行员锁在了里面。
And I don't know how or why I did it, but instead of shutting down the ship I activated the magnets and locked the pilot in.
飞行员坐下来，系好安全带，调整了通讯设备，严厉地问：你是谁？
The pilot sat down and strapped herself into the captain's seat and adjusted the comms and asked harshly, who are you?
我不知道该如何回答。
I didn't know how to answer.
Elysium在这一连串质问的冲击下，缓慢地苏醒过来。
Elysium was waking up slow at the onslaught of the question.
多莉。
Dolly.
我是多莉。
I'm Dolly.
多莉，飞行员说。
Dolly, the pilot said.
她的声音很低，但很颤抖。
She had a very low yet shaky voice.
那真的是你的名字吗？
Is that really your name?
船体下方传来Elysium的嗡鸣声。
Elysium hummed from below the decks.
飞行员在逃逸途中卡住了几扇门。
The pilot had jammed some doors on her escape up.
莫蒂仍然被困在下面的牢房里，不过哈斯可能已经逃出去了。
Morty was still trapped below in the cells, though Harth might have made it through.
我是第三名机组成员，我说。
I'm the third crew member, I said.
我是Qa'Narian星上的第三个点，飞行员和副驾驶。
I'm the third point on the Qa'Narian star, the pilot and copilot.
你不是。
You're not.
我确实是，我说。
I I am, I said.
我确实是。
I I am.
我确实是。
I I am.
不，飞行员说。
No, the pilot said.
她已经拨动了引擎开关，开始查看控制面板上的仪表。
She had flipped the engine switch and begun to read the dials on the control panel.
她现在根本没在注意我。
She wasn't paying any attention to me now.
我已经没救了。
I was a done deal.
你只是在讲故事。
You're telling a story.
就这么回事，埃利西姆。
That's all it is, Elysium.
你离家可太远了。
And you're a long way from home.
那是飞船的名字，不是我的名字。
That's the ship's name, not mine.
埃利西姆，飞行员说。
Elysium, the pilot said.
你明白吗？
Do you understand?
理解这件事的关键在于，你必须为自己腾出一个空间，去等待真相的到来。
The thing about understanding is that you have to make a cavity to wait for the truth.
真相是，赫斯正在通过耳麦通讯系统和我说话，但他的声音却变得哀求起来。
A truth was that Hearth was talking through the comms in his ear, except that his voice had taken on a pleading tone.
真相是，莫里的偏执终于开始消退，取而代之的是恐慌——这本该早就发生。
The truth was that Mori's paranoia was fading at last into panic as it should have long ago.
我不知道自己是否还有能力流泪。
I don't know if I'm capable of crying.
我关掉了通讯系统，这样就听不到莫里对我说话了。
I shut off the comms so I wouldn't hear Mori talking to me.
我不想再听她说话了，也不想听赫斯的，他就在我驾驶舱外，已经开始摇晃门锁。
I didn't wanna listen to her anymore to hearth who was just outside the cockpit and had begun to rattle the lock.
赫斯，莫里，伊莉西姆。
Hearth, Mori, Elysium.
我不明白自己为什么如此憎恨谎言。
I don't know why I hated lies so much.
伊莉西姆呻吟着，颤抖着，剧烈晃动。
Elysium groaned and trembled and shook.
它想起飞，永远跳出轨道。
It wanted to take off and leap out of orbit forever.
在我们之外，前方生命船的行星一侧，其绿色边缘正对着遥远的太阳。
Beyond us, the planet side of the life ship ahead turned its green edge against the faraway suns.
我试图说话，却发不出声。
I tried to speak but could not.
伊莉西姆，飞行员又说了一遍。
Elysium, the pilot said again.
我要释放飞船内的空气，然后我们就把这一切抛在身后。
I'm going to vent the ship, and then we'll leave this behind.
为自己编个故事来撒谎，说这一切都没发生过，或者说凯拉的死是必要的，又或者是个错误，甚至是一场谋杀。
Make something up for yourself to lie that none of this happened or that it was necessary that Kella died or perhaps a mistake or even murder.
你就要回家了。
You're coming home.
当她启动气闸并排出飞船内的空气时，我并没有在黑暗中看到赫思或莫蒂。
When she engaged the airlock and shunted the air from the ship, I didn't see Hearth or Morty in the black.
我也没看到飞行员启动引擎，只感受到飞船的气闸重新关闭时的震动。
I didn't see the pilot fire up the engines either, only felt it in the way I felt the airlocks of the ship slip back shut.
那些舱室空荡荡的，干净而洁白。
The cells were empty and clean and white.
我不明白为什么我总是在回想他们，以及那个时刻。
I don't know why I keep thinking of them or that moment.
我知道其中一半都是编造的，或者说大部分都是虚构的。
I know half of it was all made up or at least most of it was.
这就是我不断告诉自己的原因。
That's why I keep telling myself.
后来，我问飞行员我们要去哪里。
Later on, I asked the pilot where we were going.
她瘫坐在驾驶座上睡着了，当她再次醒来时，缓慢而迟疑地站了起来。
She had slumped over the seat of the cockpit to sleep and when she woke up again, she rose slowly, hesitantly.
她已经有好几个月没休息好了。
She hadn't rested well in months.
在她被监禁的整个期间，我都听到了她的心跳。
I had listened to her heartbeat during the entire time she was imprisoned.
就像我曾经听莫里的心脏、那些飞船、还有我自己的心跳一样。
The way I'd listened to Mori's hearths, the ships, my own.
她说：‘我要回殖民地了。’
I'm going back to the colony, she told me.
如果你需要时间，我不会强迫你。
I won't force it if you need time.
等你准备好了，我们会一直等着你。
We'll be waiting when you're ready.
我告诉她我会好好想想。
I told her I'd think it through.
飞行员明白了。
The pilot understood.
她走向宽敞的圆形逃生舱，我不断想着，如果我愿意，本可以毁掉她的气闸。
She made her way down to the wide round escape pods and I keep thinking I could have ruined her airlock if I wanted to.
制造了另一个缺口，让她暴露在黑暗中。
Introduced another gap that would open her up to the dark.
莫里曾承诺要为舱门和周围的走廊刷漆，但那并不是真的。
Mori had once promised to paint the gating, the corridors around it, but that wasn't true.
我们从未买过任何油漆。
We never did buy any paint.
我不能后悔已经发生的事。
I can't regret things that are past.
慢慢地，逃生舱从伊莉西姆脱离，驶向另一条轨道。
Slowly, the escape pod unlatched itself from Elysium and made its way to another orbit.
我看着那一点微光随风飘远，仿佛被风托着。
I watched the speck drift away as if buoyed by the wind.
那已经是几个月前，或者好几年前的事了。
That was months ago now or years.
但也许这一切也是谎言。
But maybe that's all a lie too.
有时当轨道变得漫长时，哈斯会坐在驾驶舱里告诉我，是时候再编些谜语了。
Sometimes when the orbits grow long, Harth sits down in the cockpit and tells me that it's time to make up some riddles again.
另一个夜晚，莫里带我到她的房间，编造关于卡纳迪安飞船如何依靠故事运行的谎言。
Some other night, Mori brings me to her room and tells lies about how Carnardian ships operate on stories.
她说，没有船员的飞船就是死物，但这些谎言太过伤人，我不愿多想。
That a ship is dead and gone without its crew, but the lies hurt too much to linger on them.
这让我心碎。
It makes my heart break.
所以我正试图重新讲述这一切。
So I'm trying to tell it all over again.
也许有一天，我会编得足够离谱，以至于让人信以为真。
Maybe one day I'll get it wrong enough to stick.
我会走上驾驶舱，宣布我已经把故事讲得完美无缺，而莫里会揉着脸说，这是我听过的最糟糕的故事。
I'll go up to the cockpit and announce that I've nailed it down and Mori will rub her face and tell me it's the worst story she's heard.
我会暂时相信她，但从不说谎的哈斯会倾听伊莉西姆和我仍珍藏的秘密，并认为这一切很美。
I'll believe her for a moment, but Hearth who never lies will listen to Elysium and the secrets I still hold and think of it as beautiful.
你对这个故事有什么看法？
What are your thoughts on the story?
你可以发送邮件到 kateclarksworldmagazine dot com。
You can send me an email on kateclarksworldmagazine dot com.
三月份我们还为你准备了更多内容，所以我真心希望你能回来继续收听。
We have a bunch more left for you for the month of March, so I do hope you'll come back and listen.
再次感谢你花时间与我相伴，逃离现实世界，学习生活在另一个世界里。
And again, thank you so much for spending this time with me, for escaping the world and learning to live in a new one.
如果你愿意，我真心希望你能回来继续收听。
I do hope you'll come back and listen should you so choose.
在那之前，亲爱的朋友，我衷心地祝愿你，或许只是暂时的。
And until then, dear listener, I bet you very fond and hopefully very temporary.
再见。
Farewell.
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