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秋天来了，他们出发了。
Fall is here, here they go.
回学校了，铃声响起，新鞋子，悠闲漫步，翻过围栏，书本和笔。
Back to school, ring the bell, brand new shoes, walking loose, climb the fence, books and pens.
好的。
Alright.
现在是我们上周讨论的第二部分。
It's time for part two of what we discussed last week.
这最初是一场激烈的争吵。
It started as a massive argument.
当时情况非常激烈。
It's it was very intense.
我们都朝彼此大喊大叫，但最终促使布莱重新做人，变得安静、说话轻柔、更加深思熟虑。
We were all shouting and screaming at each other, but it led to Blay reforming his ways, becoming quieter, more soft spoken, more thoughtful.
正是在这个新形象的基础上，他提出了一个不错的方案。
Out of that new persona came a decent pitch.
是的
Yeah.
他说：嘿，Blay，你复述一遍
He said, hey, Blay, why don't you repeat
吧？
it?
我的提案是
My pitch was
天哪。
Oh, man.
他还在学习中。
He's still learning.
不。
No.
他还在继续做。
He's still doing it.
等等，我要去拿，别听她的。
Hold I'm gonna I'm taking the Don't let don't listen to her.
上周你们说我要放松一点，不要握紧麦克风，所以我打算这么做。
Last week, you guys said I should lean back, and I should be softer and not grip the mic, and so I'm gonna do that.
我讨厌这个。
I hate this.
我喜欢这个。
I like it.
上周我的台词是，你说过如果我有腿，我会踢你，那是个戏剧性角色。
My pitch last week was you had said you were in the movie, if I had legs, I'd kick you, is a dramatic role.
而你说你不再需要任何戏剧性的角色了。
And you had said you're not looking for any more dramatic roles.
所以我的提议是，像丹尼尔·戴-刘易斯那样退出影坛后，你会为了什么样的角色复出？那不是一种
So my pitch was, like Daniel Day Lewis coming out of retirement, what kind of role would you come out of retirement for to what new it it is not a
我快到了。
I'm almost at it.
哦，你知道吗？
Oh, you know what?
我快到了。
I'm at it.
没关系。
It's okay.
什么角色？你知道吗？
What what role You know what?
这是一个新的人设，需要时间来适应。
This is a new persona, and those take time to get used to.
你会接什么角色？如果你要演，下一个会是什么戏剧性角色？
What role would you what dramatic role would you do next if you were
我们明白了。
to We got it.
我们明白了。
We got it.
你本可以在那里结束那句话。
You could have ended the sentence there.
你们确实这么做了。
You guys did.
但我轻声做了。
But I did it softly.
对吧？
Right?
就像你对我儿子做的那样。
Like what you did to my boy.
是的。
Yes.
是的。
Yes.
我轻声做了。
I did it softly.
你知道吗？
You know what?
我喜欢你安静地词不达意的样子。
I like it when you're inarticulate quietly.
好的。
Okay.
我只是说，我确实做得轻柔了。
I'm just saying I did do it softly.
是的。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
我靠过去，你也靠回来。
And lean and I lean back.
好的。
Okay.
很好。
Good.
非常好。
Very good.
我们已经做完那部分了。
We're done with that.
好的。
Okay.
对不起。
Sorry.
我们来谈谈这个想法本身吧。
Let's get on to the idea itself.
这就是这个想法。
Here's the idea.
是的。
Yes.
这个想法涉及我，我认为值得讨论。
The idea involves me, and I think it's worthy of discussion.
众所周知，丹尼尔·戴-刘易斯已经多次宣布从演艺界退休。
Well, famously, Daniel Day Lewis has retired, I think, several times from acting.
但他又复出了。
He's back again.
而当他复出时，绝不是简单地去修剪草坪。
And when he does, he doesn't just, you know, mow the lawn.
我认为，他对制作鞋子非常感兴趣。
He's very interested in, I think, making shoes.
他是个鞋匠。
He's a cobbler.
他是个鞋匠。
He's a cobbler.
我确实开车经过过他在爱尔兰居住的小镇，他就在那里做鞋子。
And I've actually driven through the town in Ireland where he lives, and he makes shoes.
所以你可以想象，他是用传统方式制作这些鞋子的。
So if you can imagine and he makes them the old fashioned way.
让我觉得有趣的是，这位可能是世界上最好的演员，在选择不演戏的时候，竟然去制作鞋子。
And that's what's fascinating to me is that this, maybe our greatest actor in the world makes shoes when he chooses not to act.
所以让我们想象一下，我已经完成了《如果我有腿，我会踢你》中的角色，现在退隐到一个小村庄里。
So let's have everyone imagine that I I completed my role in If I Had Legs, I'd Kick You, and I've retired to my small village.
我为在矿难中失去脚的人制作十九世纪晚期的假肢。
And I make late nineteenth century prosthetics for people who've lost their feet in a mining accident.
这仅仅是我的爱好。
And that's just my hobby.
于是人们过来对我说：我失去了一只脚。
And so people come in and they say, I lost my foot.
我会说：坐那儿，喝点苹果酒。
And I say, sit there and have some cider.
然后我会做一些测量。
And then I I do various measurements.
然后他们在等待的时候呢？
And then I While they wait?
在他们等待的时候。
While they wait.
我会说，你知道吗？
And I say and you know what?
他们在等待的时候，只能靠苹果酒度日。
They while they're waiting, they have to live off only cider.
然后我带着一把十九世纪的锯子进森林，嗯。
And then I go into the woods with, like, a nineteenth century saw Mhmm.
我会挑出一棵最好的老树。
And I pick out the best old tree I can find.
我会砍倒一棵巨大的、美丽的树，这棵树已经存在了一千年。
And I fell off a giant tree, a massive, beautiful tree that's been around for a thousand years.
然后我取下一小块
And then I take one tiny piece of
为了一个手指。
it For a finger.
为了
For
为了一个这位男士失去的脚趾。
for a toe that was lost by this guy.
然后我回去时，他已经快不行了，因为已经过去很久了，我不得不去太平洋西北部找一棵树，而他住在新泽西。
And then I go back, and while he's dying now, because it's been a while, I had to go to a tree in the Pacific Northwest, and he's in Jersey.
但我还是会制作它，这就是我的工作。
But I will I will craft that, and that's what I do.
但后来我的一个粉丝给了我一个绝佳的建议，让我去扮演某个角色，这让我偏离了我的手艺。
But then one of my fans has a great idea for a role I should play, and it pulls me away from my my craft.
于是我重回表演世界，人们兴奋的程度不亚于丹尼尔·戴-刘易斯复出时。
And I come back to the world of acting, and people are just as excited as when Daniel Day Lewis reenters.
我明白了。
I see.
一样兴奋。
Just as excited.
好的。
Okay.
这是一个可能实现这种情况的平行宇宙。
This is an alternate universe where that would be possible.
明白了。
Gotcha.
好的。
Okay.
所以我想，你可以砍倒一棵树的地方。
So I guess Where you can fell a tree.
听好了。
Listen.
我读了很多书，索娜。
I've read a lot of book, Sona.
我读过很多关于体力劳动的书。
I've read a lot of books about manual labor.
明白吗？
Okay?
我刚读完一本叫《劳累》的书。
I've read I've just finished a book called exertion.
所以我非常确定，当需要我动手或动身体的时候，我知道该怎么做。
And so I'm quite I'm quite certain that when the time comes for me to do something with my hands or body, I will know how to do it.
长时间待在图书馆里。
Long hours in the libraries.
所以我想我们讨论的是，我会扮演什么角色？
So that's what we're talking about, I guess, is what role would I what role would I do?
我想我们会把这个交给粉丝们来决定。
And I guess we're gonna turn this out to the fans.
对吧？
Right?
好吧，我们可以这么做，但我们可以先讨论一下
Well, we can do that, but we can discuss it
我们自己内部先讨论。
amongst ourselves.
先在我们内部讨论，然后或许会向粉丝们提出一个挑战。
First amongst ourselves, and then maybe it will end with a a challenge to the fans.
告诉我我应该扮演什么角色
Tell me what role I
应该，是的。
should Yeah.
也许我们会有一些好点子，可以在以后进一步讨论。
Maybe there'll be some good ideas we can discuss at a further time.
但最直接摆在我们面前的是皮皮。
But the the one staring us right in the face is that Is Pippi.
皮皮·长袜子。
Pippi Longstocking.
是的。
Yeah.
我来演皮皮长袜子？
Me play Pippi Longstocking?
你刚才想说的就是这个吗？
Is that what you were gonna say?
不是。
No.
但这个主意不错。
But that's pretty good.
皮皮长袜子嘛，好吧。
Pippi Longstocking is well, okay.
皮皮，提醒我一下，我相信你一定知道皮皮是谁。
Pippi, refresh my memory because I'm sure you're gonna know about Pippi.
不知为什么，我们在这个播客里已经无数次谈论过皮皮了。
We've talked about Pippi an inordinate amount of times on this podcast for some reason.
是的，我们确实谈过。
Well, we have.
有些话题天然地吸引人们进行对话。
There are there are certain topics that naturally draw humans to conversation.
是的。
Yeah.
你知道吗？我们聊得太多了，以至于瑞典那边为此拍了一部关于她的纪录片，还因为这个播客联系了我。
Do you know that we talked about it so much so that they did a documentary on her in Sweden, and they reached out to me because of this podcast?
我在那部纪录片里谈了我与皮皮的经历。
And I'm on that that documentary talking about my experience with Pippi.
这让我心里暖暖的。
That warms my heart.
瑞典，我们在想着你，感谢你的付出。
Well, Sweden, we're thinking of you, and thanks for the work.
是的。
Yeah.
我的意思是，我来扮演皮皮，皮皮多大了？
I mean, me to play is Pippi how old is Pippi?
皮皮二十多岁吗？
Is Pippi in her twenties?
不是。
No.
十几岁？
Teens?
不是。
No.
我的意思是基特。
I mean Kit.
是的。
Yeah.
她大概十二三岁。
She's, like, 12 or 13.
哦，她才12或13岁？
Oh, she's 12 or 13?
我以为
I thought
她超级强壮。
she was super strong.
是的。
She is.
他们有解释过她为什么这么强壮吗？
Do they ever explain why she is so strong?
我觉得不是因为她是来自红太阳的远方。
Think It's not like a it's the she's far from the red sun.
没有。
No.
那太疯狂了。
That's super mad.
是的
Yeah.
好的
Okay.
不
No.
她只是获得了某种魔法般的力量。
She just got magical kind of strength.
就像那种美妙的青春力量
It's just like wonderful, youthful
哇
Wow.
多棒的起源故事啊。
What a great what a great origin story.
嘿
Hey.
这就是我。
This is who I am.
别再问了。
Quit asking.
我可能错了。
I could be wrong.
我不知道。
I don't know.
绿灯侠是怎么回事啊。
How did Green Lantern hey.
这就是我做的。
This is what I do.
别理我。
Leave me alone.
我对皮皮的经历仅限于瑞典电影的美式配音版本，所以我不了解
My experience with Pippi is only the dubbed American versions of the Swedish movies, so I don't
根本不知道。
even know.
好吧，总之不行。
Well, anyway, no.
这角色不会是皮皮。
It's not gonna be Pippi
好的。
Okay.
因为我觉得我演不了一个11岁的小女孩。
Because I don't think I can play 11 year old girl.
我想到的那个是。
The one I was thinking of
嗯，是的。
Uh-huh.
今年特别地，他们必须选新的詹姆斯·邦德。
Is this year specifically, they have to cast a new James Bond.
你知道的。
You know?
嗯，那不是我的意思。
Well, that would I'm not suggesting that.
哦，好的。
Oh, okay.
好的。
Okay.
我只是说，咱们把这事搁置吧。
I'm just saying let's get let's take it off the table.
他们是在找一个年迈的爱尔兰人吗？那种在美洲生活了几百年的？
Are they looking at long in the tooth Irishman That's really who've lived in America for a couple hundred years?
我想皮尔斯·布鲁斯南确实是个年迈的爱尔兰人。
I guess Pierce Brosnan's a long in the tooth Irishman.
他们完全可以再回到
They could just go back to They
应该得到，是的。
should get yeah.
你能显得优雅又英国范儿吗？
Can you be suave and British?
哦，得了吧。
Oh, come on.
让我们看看。
Let's see.
来个英国口音？
Do a British accent?
我从来没听过你讲英国口音。
I've never heard you do a British accent.
首先，他非得是英国人吗？
Well, first of all, does he have to be British?
必须是典型的英国人。
Distinctively so.
是的
Yeah.
我的意思是，这是他必须具备的唯一特质
I mean, that's the one thing he has to be
他们知道他们会做出一些改动。
is They know that they're gonna make changes.
你知道的？
You know?
邦德必须与时俱进。
Bond has to change with the times.
对吧？
Right?
所以我设想的邦德来自波士顿郊外的马萨诸塞州布鲁克莱恩。
So I'm thinking of a Bond who's from just outside Boston in Brookline, Massachusetts.
你知道的？
You know?
太远了。
Far off.
你知道吗，他们曾考虑过伯特·雷诺兹。
You know, they considered Burt Reynolds.
他们让詹姆斯·布罗林试镜了。
They screen tested James Brolin.
真的吗？
Is that true?
曾经也考虑过亚当·韦斯特。
Adam West at one time too.
天哪。
Oh my god.
是的。
Yeah.
嗯，他们避开了几颗子弹，没有。
Well, they dodged some bullets there No.
大概吧。
Probably.
我知道。
I know.
我的意思是，我喜欢那些家伙。
I mean and I love those guys.
我喜欢你刚提到的每一个人。
I love everyone you just mentioned.
但没错，必须是英国人。
But, yes, it has to be British.
必须是英国人。
Has to be British.
不行。
No.
我不可能扮演詹姆斯·邦德，因为没错，我觉得我有那种优雅与老练，也觉得我有那样的性格。
There's no way I could be James Bond because, yes, I have I think I have the suave sophistication, and I think I have the temperament.
我觉得我的打斗场面会非常特别。
I think my fight scenes would be quite unusual.
我喜欢我的邦德会是这样一个角色：每次需要用到道具时，都会打电话给索娜，问她怎么用这个道具。
And I love that my bond would be a Bond who, anytime he has to use the gadget, calls Sona and asks Sona how to use the gadget.
该他出场了。
His cue.
是的。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
但在实战中，比如我正在打斗，是的。
But in real time, like, I'm fighting Yeah.
那个俄罗斯特工，而我却要打电话给你，弄清楚我手表里的装置怎么变成绞索，好勒死他。
The Russian agent, and I call you to figure out how to use the thing in my watch that turns it into a garret so I can strangle him.
是的。
Yeah.
你得一步步教我怎么做。
You have to walk me through it.
而在我下载应用的时候。
And while I download the app.
我不接电话，然后
I don't pick up, and then
我给大卫打电话。
I call David.
然后你给大卫打电话。
And then you call David.
大卫不接电话。
David doesn't pick up.
然后你就开始给我们语音信箱留一连串消息，接着你就死了。
Then you start, like, doing all bits on our voicemail, and then you die.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
这并不是一个
This isn't a
这将会是史上最短的詹姆斯·邦德电影
It's gonna be the shortest James Bond
听起来不错。
Sounds good.
是的。
Yeah.
但电影的结尾只是播放我在电话里录下的所有片段。
But then the end of the movie is just playing all the bits that I did on the phone.
你是说，像《炮弹飞车》那种花絮彩蛋那样在片尾字幕时播放？
You mean, like, Cannonball Run bloopers style over the credits?
好的。
Okay.
就只是片段、片段、片段。
Just bits bits bits.
人们常说这部电影很糟糕，但别走开，看完片尾字幕，那些和索娜、大卫的片段还不错。
And people people say, like, the movie's terrible, but stick around for the credit bed because those bits with Sona and David are okay.
好的。
Alright.
那么，让我们尽可能把蒙德和皮皮排除在外。
So let's take Mond and Pippi off the table as much as we don't want to.
是的。
Yeah.
我的问题是，如果你要拍一部传记片，你会选谁。
My my question was if there was a biopic you would do.
哦，对。
Oh, right.
哦。
Oh.
然后我想，哦，但那样的话你可能会想成为林登·约翰逊的
And then I thought, like, oh, but then you'd wanna be like Lyndon Johnson's
财政部长。
treasury secretary.
瘦长鬼影。
Slenderman.
是的。
Yeah.
不。
No.
我的意思是，这是个非常好的问题。
I mean, that's a really good question.
我不知道我最像哪位历史人物。
I don't know what historical figure I'm most like.
我的身高和林肯一模一样。
I'm the exact height of Lincoln.
说到丹尼尔·戴-刘易斯的话。
Speaking of Daniel Day Lewis, though.
是的。
Yeah.
你会准备好
Would you be ready
紧随那部最近的电影之后，试图超越它吗？
to come on the heels of that recent film and try to one
超越它吗？
up it?
我对他在《林肯》中的表现有些意见。
I have problems with his Lincoln.
哦。
Oh.
哇。
Wow.
他很棒，我觉得他在很多方面都演得非常到位，但我从未见他看向卡梅隆，做出什么鬼脸之类的行为。
And he's a great and he I thought he nailed it in a lot of ways, but I didn't see him ever look to Cameron, like, make faces or anything.
我一次都没见过。
I didn't see him once.
这才是你该为这个角色带来的东西。
That's what you would bring to the role.
我会去体验，我，是的。
I would step I I yeah.
我会做很多
I and I would do a lot
以前常做的事。
of used to do.
做很多打破第四面墙的事情。
Do a lot of breaking the fourth wall.
这是你的摄像机。
This is your camera.
我们看看
Let's see
一点林肯。
a little Lincoln.
嗯，我想我得去剧院了。
Well, I guess I gotta go to the theater.
这可能不是个好主意，你知道我的意思。
It might not be a good idea, if you know what I mean.
啊，什么？
Oh, what?
天哪。
Oh my god.
哦。
Oh.
你知道
Do know
我的意思？
what I mean?
天啊。
Oh my god.
是的。
Yeah.
等等。
Wait.
林肯知道这里会发生什么吗？
Lincoln knows what's gonna happen here?
他知道，但他觉得这都挺
He knows, but he thinks it's all kind of
有趣的。
fun.
你
You
知道吗？
know?
而且
And
天啊。
god.
是的。
Yeah.
你知道吗？
You know?
是的。
Yeah.
他提议说，我们去剧院吧。
He's like, let's go to the theater.
我可能会被射中。
I could get shot.
嗯，这是我们美国的表亲。
Well, it's our American cousin.
挺有趣的。
It's pretty funny.
也许值得。
Maybe worth it.
我想你知道，他他知道国家里正在发生什么。
I think you know, he he's he knows what's happening in country.
坐下来吧，以防有人好奇。
Be sitting in case anyone's curious.
是的。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
但我的意思是，我觉得林肯和我之间有很多相似之处。
But, I mean, I think there are many similarities between Lincoln and I.
我觉得我们都身材高大、瘦长、颧骨分明，像是从大草原上走出来的，给美国带来了新的自由希望。
I think we're both kind of tall, rangy, sharp cheekboned guys that just stepped out of the prairie and and and gave a new hope of freedom to America.
有一个想法是，你知道，他们喜欢搭配反差。
Oh, one idea is, you know, they get the opposites.
他们会让两个完全不一样的人在一起，是的。
They get two guys who are completely unlike each other Yeah.
出现在一部警匪片里。
To be in a cop movie.
是的。
Yeah.
而且
And
我经常想，如果我和奥利芬特拍一部电影，这不错。
I've often thought, what if me and Oliphant were in a movie This is good.
而且是一部警匪片，你知道，他是蒂姆·奥利芬特，所以特别酷。
And it's a cop movie, and, you know, he's he's the he he's Tim Oliphant, so he's incredibly cool.
是的
Yeah.
他知道他在做什么。
And he knows what he's doing.
而我呢，坦白说，根本不该在那里。
And then I'm the guy who, let's face it, shouldn't be there.
嗯。
Mhmm.
就是这种感觉。
So it's that kind of thing.
你们觉得怎么样？
What do we think?
我喜欢这个。
I like this.
实际上，我真的很喜欢这个想法。
Actually I really like that idea.
是的。
Yeah.
只是为了让奥利芬特进来，不是来推销电影，而是来宣传电影之类的。
Just so Oliphant can come in here and like pitch not pitch the movie, but like promote the movie and stuff.
这另一件事必须发生来
This another has to happen to
回来。
come back.
两个警察。
Two cops.
会不会他是警察，而你是保险理赔员，他必须像午夜行动一样，得
Couldn't it be that he's a cop, and you're like an insurance adjuster that he has to, almost midnight run style, has to
让你怎么看待这个？
get you How some about this?
更贴近现实。
Closer to reality.
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他是个警察，我知道这种设定已经被用过无数次了，就是那个演员得跟着他一起去出警体验。
He's a cop, and I know this has been done a million times, is the actor who has to sit go on some ride alongs with him.
嗯嗯。
Uh-huh.
这种设定已经被用过好多次了，不是吗？
That's been done a No.
但拍成电影呢？有这么拍过的吗？
But not for a movie, has it?
是的。
Yeah.
有吗？
Has it?
是的。
Yeah.
我觉得都拍过55次了。
I think 55 times.
哦。
Oh.
但不管怎样，我们不是这样做的。
But, anyway, that is not the way we go.
我是个播客主持人。
I'm a podcaster.
我们把它带回家，好吧。
We we we take it home Okay.
回到我们真正做的事情上。
To what we actually do.
更贴近生活。
It's closer to home.
是的。
Yeah.
这很好。
This is good.
所以我是做播客的
So I'm a podcaster
是的
Yeah.
或者说是前深夜脱口秀主持人。
Or a former late night host.
对。
Right.
但我认为‘播客’这个身份更贴近当下的时代精神。
But I think podcaster puts us more in the the zeitgeist.
那你现在在做关于真凶的犯罪类播客吗？
So are you doing a true crime podcast where you've got
跟着那个人一起出警，因为真相
a ride along with guy because the truth
是关于他的？
is about him?
是的。
Yeah.
然后
And then
这很酷。
That's cool.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
但我确实是个真·是的。
But I'm a real yeah.
没错。
Exactly.
而且我总是
And I'm always
他去了吗？还是没去？
he or didn't he?
所以，我一直处于一个水平
So there's a And I'm always level
的威胁。
of threat.
但同时，我总是带着我的设备，我的播客设备。
But, also, I'm always I've got my equipment, my podcast equipment.
是的。
Yeah.
所以还有那种喜剧元素。
And so there's that comedy.
我一直在不停地打扰他。
There's there's me constantly bothering him.
哦，我现在才想到，《凶杀案：发生在建筑里》讲的就是播客。
Oh, I'm thinking right now, only murders in the building is about podcasting.
没关系。
That's okay.
现在一切都跟播客有关了，可惜。
There's everything's about podcasting now, sadly.
好的。
Okay.
是的。
Yeah.
这让我有点受挫，但我认识那些人，有人说我确实激励了他们。
That does that bumps me out, and I even I know those guys, and some say I really inspire them.
哦。
Oh.
我觉得听起来他们现在正在激励你。
I think I'm Sounds like they're inspiring you right now.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
我不知道我是不是一个播客主持人。
I don't know if I'm a podcaster then.
我不知道。
I don't know.
那记者呢？
How about a journalist?
无聊。
Boring.
好的。
Okay.
无聊。
Boring.
好的。
Okay.
是的。
Yeah.
我是个比赛赢家。
I'm a contest winner.
我不确定。
I don't know.
肯定有个原因，让我这样的人和蒂姆·奥洛凡特一起到处跑，他是个非常出色的侦探或警察，但我们总会弄清楚的。
There's gotta be a reason why a guy like me is riding around with Tim Olofant, who's a really good detective or cop, but we'll figure that out.
我知道。
I know.
但他确实被指控可能越界了。
But he he has been accused of maybe some going over the line.
他有点像一颗不定时炸弹。
He's a bit of a loose cannon.
他是个安静、有点酷的不定时炸弹。
He's a he's a quiet, kind of cool loose cannon.
嗯嗯。
Mhmm.
而你就是那个内部事务部门的人，得跟着他，看他是不是真的越界了。
And you're the IA internal affairs guy that has to follow him around to see if he's actually going too far.
不过你真的会遇到这种不守规矩的人吗？我听到的是……
Do you get loose cannon though from I get con
我明白，当他在这里的时候，确实如此。
I get Well, when he's in here, definitely.
哦，是的。
Oh, yeah.
对。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
没错。
That's true.
但我说的不是他疯了那种失控，而是像《致命武器》里的马丁·里格斯那样，可能会崩溃，或者走得太远，变成一个义警，你知道吧？
But I don't mean loose cannon that he's crazy, but like Martin Riggs from Lethal Weapon, like, could crack or he could go too far and be a vigilante, you know?
比如，他可能会自己执行正义，而你得弄清楚这一点。
Like, he could administer his own justice, and you have to figure this out.
我就是感觉不到。
I'm just not sensing it.
我觉得你没有这种感觉。
I don't think you have it.
我觉得，而且这个
I don't think and and this
但我只是想说，我们当时想让布莱伊做的就是这种提案。
But I just wanna say that pitch was what we're trying to get Blay to do.
对吧？
Right?
就是那种风格。
That kind of style.
你知道的吧？
You know?
你什么意思？
What do mean?
哦，是的。
Oh, yeah.
就是表达的方式。
Just how it was delivered.
你知道我说的是什么意思吗？
You know what mean?
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
非常轻松。
Was very chill.
你的演讲风格很棒。
Your pitch style was terrific.
好的。
Okay.
谢谢。
Thank you.
你的演讲风格很棒。
Your pitch style was terrific.
那个演讲本身呢，你知道的，就像一根烂了的玉米棒子。
The pitch itself was, you know, a rotted corn on the cob.
没关系。
That's fine.
但我觉得这不太对。
But I don't think it's quite right.
是的。
Yes.
Abwe？
Abwe?
我有一个安静的提案，是基于你的想法。
I I have I have a quiet pitch, which is going off your idea.
发生了一起人质事件，
There is a hostage situation,
而你被请来担任人质谈判专家。
and you're the hostage negotiator brought in.
哦。
Oh.
但这是你第一天。
But it's your first day.
好的。
Okay.
我只是在想有什么能让电影制片厂高管眼前一亮的东西。
I'm just trying to think of something that jumps out at studio executives.
顺便说一下，如今的电影制片厂高管们正面临困境。
And by the way, studio executives today who are on the ropes.
什么才有效？
What's working?
什么都没效。
Nothing's working.
然后你出现了。
And you come in.
你得拿出一个能让他们大脑爆炸的东西。
It's gotta be something that makes their minds explode.
是的
Yeah.
首先，你说你有蒂姆·奥莱范特。
Now first of all, you say you've got Tim Olefant.
他们对此感兴趣。
They're interested.
然后你说康南·奥布莱恩也参与其中。
Then you say Conan O'Brien's involved too.
他们非常兴奋。
They're they're very excited.
你知道吗？
You know?
非常兴奋。
Very excited.
蒂莫西·奥洛夫ант？
Than Timothy O'Loaffant?
是的。
Yeah.
他们是
They're Is
你刚才说的是这个吗？
that what you said?
听我说。
And and listen.
我对蒂姆·奥劳范特没有恶意，蒂姆是我很好的朋友。
No offense to Tim O'Loaffant, and Tim's a good friend of mine.
是的。
Yeah.
但是是的。
But yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
哦，更兴奋了。
Oh, more excited.
好的。
Okay.
好的。
Okay.
行吧。
Alright.
行吧。
Alright.
是的。
Yeah.
我本来想说，关于你那个人质的事，我
I was gonna say with your hostage one, I
我宁愿人质是女性，这样他们就能做了。
I'd rather the hostage be a woman so that they can do it.
就是，整个事情
Like, the whole thing
所以我们要怎么让蒂姆像一个裸体要和绑匪发生关系的人那样生气？
is So How do we get Tim all offended like a naked gonna have sex with her captor?
这是我见过最严重的斯德哥尔摩综合征了，我能不能说一句，
That's the biggest case of Stockholm syndrome I've ever Can I just say,
没人去看科南·奥布莱恩的电影是期待或想要看到性爱场景的？
no one who goes to a Conan O'Brien movie expects or wants to see sex?
所以这是一部为那些讨厌性爱、从不想看到任何性爱场景的罕见观众准备的电影。
So this is for the rare moviegoer who hates the idea of sex and never wants to see it.
听我说完。
Hear me out.
你其实不是主角，你只是个群演。
You're not in you're an extra.
所以你只是偶尔出现一下
So you're, like, only show up for
就一秒钟，然后剩下的部分就是，比如，
a second, and then the rest of it is, like,
人们彼此之间的互动。
people doing with each other.
反正都剪掉吧。
Cut out anyway.
是的。
Yeah.
好吧。
Okay.
我认为那些目前岌岌可危的电影公司高管，正试图打造下一场激烈的竞争。
I think studio studio executives who are on the ropes right now are looking to maybe make the next heated rivalry.
对。
Yes.
所以也许主角是科南、蒂莫西和奥拉丰，你们之间来点小浪漫。
And so maybe it's a Conan, Timothy Olafont, and you guys have a little romance.
你知道吗？
You know what?
所以他是个运动员，因为他能完成那样的动作。
So he's some kind of athlete because he can pull that off.
是的。
Yeah.
我以前是个运动员，但后来掉进了一大桶化学药剂里，就像小丑一样。
And I'm a guy who was an athlete but then fell into a vat of chemicals like the Joker.
我的头发变红了，身体变得又长又柔韧，皮肤也苍白了。
And it turned my hair red and made me all stretchy and pale and long.
好吧。
Okay.
对。
Yeah.
很好。
Is good.
是的。
Yeah.
但当我还是运动员的时候，我们经常一起混在一起。
And so but we when I used to be an athlete, we would pal around.
但现在我们在一起了。
And so but now we're together.
那我们现在在一起做什么呢？
And what are we doing together?
因为他觉得对不起我，而我就是个搞笑的角色。
Because he he he feels badly for me, and I'm I'm comic relief.
嗯。
Mhmm.
我就是闲逛着。
I'm hanging around.
我觉得他不可能成为现在的运动员。
I don't think he could be a current day athlete.
所以他是一名退役运动员。
So he's a retired athlete.
对吧？
Right?
因为我觉得我
Because I think I'm
我正在现在查一下。
looking it up right now.
我说过他们确实会这么做。
I was saying that they do it.
我说过，即使是在警察和谈判专家的情况下，你们也在想办法做到这一点。
I was saying that they're that he's even if it was the cop and negotiator situation, you guys are you guys are finding a way to do it.
我知道。
I know.
所以是我和蒂姆，等一下。
So it's me and Tim hold on.
是我和蒂姆在搞对象。
It's me and Tim getting it on.
是的。
Yes.
因为我们彼此相爱。
Because we're in love with each other.
是的。
Yes.
我是不是也掉进了一大桶化学药剂里？
Did I also fall into a vat of chemicals?
是的。
Yes.
这在每个人那儿都行得通。
That's in everyone's Okay.
这是理所当然的。
That's a given.
是的。
Yeah.
我的意思是，这毫无疑问。
I mean, that's for sure.
我们就说，人们在电影里接受我的方式，是我掉进了一缸化学药剂里。
Let's just say the way people buy me in a movie is if I fell into a vat of chemicals.
那是至关重要的。
That's that's crucial.
那这个呢？
What about this?
那是另一回事，他是个资深的交际花，而你是个正在培训的交际花。
That's the other He's a veteran gigolo, and you're a gigolo in training.
哦。
Oh.
好吧。
Okay.
谁掉进化学药剂桶里了？
Who fell into a vat of chemicals?
当然了。
For sure.
这跟我刚才说的是一回事。
This goes what I'm saying.
好的。
Okay.
从现在开始，这就是我们在这里讨论的每一个提案。
This was every pitch we talk about here on out.
他是那位资深人士，而且
He is the veteran, and
他在训练他。
he's training him.
嗯，他不是。
Well, he's No.
不。
No.
不。
No.
想要一种职业生涯后期的转变。
Wants a career like, late stage career change.
不。
No.
不。
No.
这就是发生的事。
This is what happened.
这就是发生的事。
This is what happened.
好的。
Okay.
蒂姆是我的室友。
Tim is a roommate.
我是个播客主持人，以前是深夜节目主持人，和蒂姆·奥拉凡住在一起，但他那不是真名。
I'm a podcaster, former late night host who lives with Tim Olafan, who who that's not his name.
他叫切特·切特·查斯尼克。
His name's Chet Chet Chasnik.
而且切特，我们会解决这个问题的。
And and Chet, this we'll work this out.
我们会弄清楚这件事的。
We'll we'll figure this out.
但切特是个男妓。
But but Chet is a gigolo.
明白吗？
Okay?
好的。
Okay.
我一直对这一点有点嫉妒。
And then I've always been a little jealous of that.
然后我就沉迷于化学物质。
Then I fall into chemicals.
很明显，播客泡沫破裂了。
There's obviously The podcast bubble bursts.
你快死了，只想来一场性冒险。
You're dying, and you just wanna have a sexcapade.
所以你就说：教教我吧。
And so you're like, show me the ways.
好吧。
Okay.
我没意识到。
I didn't realize.
好吧。
Okay.
嗯，还有死亡这件事。
Well, there's dying.
我本来想说，我会沉溺于化学物质。
I was gonna say I fall into chemicals.
我在医院里，他们正在给我做康复治疗，他们说你需要找一个新的爱好。
I'm in the hospital, and they're doing rehab on me, and they say you need to find a new hobby.
我说，哦，我的室友是个男妓，但我对此知之甚少。
And I say, well Oh, roommate is a gigolo, but I know so little about it.
我管这叫男妓。
I call it gigolo.
是的。
Yeah.
我对这事儿了解得就这么少。
That's how little I know about it.
付钱让女人来伺候你。
Pay the women to do you.
是的。
Yes.
是的。
Yes.
所以我只知道一个叫约翰的。
So I know just a John.
而且就是那样。
And it's yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
还有，蒂姆真的就是，什么？
And and Tim is really Tim is like What?
他因为招嫖而被捕。
And he gets arrested for a pro for a soliciting prostitute.
电影结束了。
Movie ends.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Yes.
不。
No.
然后他就离开了。
And because Then he falls away.
一缸化学品。
Vat of chemicals.
警察来抓我。
The the police the police go to arrest me.
我完全糊涂了，因为首先我不知道自己在做什么，但我清楚自己在做错事。
I'm totally confused because I think I'm what I'm doing first of all, I know that I'm doing something wrong
是的。
Yeah.
因为我作为交际花（或者我称之为交际花）正在损失大量金钱。
Because I'm losing a ton of money as a gigolo or as I call it gigolo.
然后警察来逮捕我。
And then the police come to arrest me.
我逃跑了。
I run away.
当他们追我的时候，我掉进了更多的化学药剂里。
And while they're chasing me, I fall into more chemicals.
是的。
Yes.
这部电影叫《Gusta Gigolo》。
And the movie's called gusta gigolo.
Gust，我是Gusta Gigolo。
Gust I'm gusta gigolo.
到处都是，Joe。
Everywhereby, Joe.
好的。
Okay.
我得
I gotta
你知道吗？
You know?
不知道。
No.
这说得通。
It checks out.
如果你算一下，这说得通。
It checks out if you do the math.
你知道吗？
You know what?
如果你拿一张纸卷起来，上面写着说唱，然后拿给我看，我想这说得通。
It checks If you have a piece of paper Roll and you've just tape written rap and you're showing it to me, I guess it checks out.
在那种奇怪的、奇怪的样子里。
In the weird in the weird look.
我想一切都对得上。
I guess it all checks out.
这说得通。
It checks out.
这说得通。
It checks out.
这说得通。
It checks out.
这让我想起我最不喜欢的即兴表演场景：当你去看即兴表演时，台上的人说，‘哦，我在一家巧克力工厂里。’
That reminds me of bad my least favorite thing about improv is when I is when you go see improv and the people on stage are like, oh, I'm in a chocolate factory.
我制造搅拌机。
I make blenders.
等等。
Wait.
什么？
What?
不。
No.
你没有。
You don't.
我是你父亲。
I'm your father.
我父亲已经去世了。
My father's dead.
他们只是看着观众，导演走出来，说：‘场次结束。’
And they just look at the audience, and the director walks out and goes, and scene.
就像，他们完美地完成了。
Like, they nailed it.
是的。
Yeah.
当你在那个时刻举起这个卷轴时，你就是这么做的。
That's what you do when you hold up this wrap at that point.
我不同意。
I disagree.
干得漂亮。
Nicely done.
好吧。
Okay.
我们把这个问题交给粉丝们决定吧。
Let's put it out to the fans.
如果你想到一部我非常适合出演的优秀电影，是的。
If you think of a really good movie I could be in Yeah.
我甚至可以说，这可以是一个现有的系列，我能够很好地融入其中。
And I'm gonna even say it could be an existing franchise where I would slot in nicely.
我是认真的。
And I'm I'm serious.
我是真的不想再接更多工作了。
Like, I'm I'm not looking to do more.
我觉得电影界也没在邀请我接更多角色。
I I think and cinema isn't asking me to do more.
但如果遇到合适的想法，我可能会考虑。
But should the right idea come, I might do it.
是的。
Yeah.
所以这个开放着。
So this open.
对。
Yeah.
那就请粉丝们分享你们的想法吧。
And and so let's share your ideas, fans.
好的。
Okay.
太好了。
Great.
未完待续。
To be continued.
康南·奥布莱恩需要一位粉丝与康南·奥布莱恩、索尼莫夫·塞西安和马特·戈雷利一起参与。
Conan O'Brien needs a fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonimov Sesian, and Matt Goreley.
由我，马特·戈雷利制作。
Produced by me, Matt Goreley.
执行制片人：亚当·萨克斯、杰夫·罗斯和刘尼克。
Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao.
背景音乐由吉米·维维诺创作。
Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.
吉米，你来吧。
Take it away, Jimmy.
监制：亚伦·布莱尔。
Supervising producer, Aaron Blaird.
联合人才制作人：詹妮弗·桑普尔斯。
Associate talent producer, Jennifer Samples.
联合制作人：肖恩·多赫蒂和丽莎·伯姆。
Associate producers, Sean Dougherty and Lisa Berm.
音频工程：爱德华多·佩雷斯。
Engineering by Eduardo Perez.
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Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm.com/conan.
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Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are demoed.
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