推出康纳的新播客

嘿。

Hey.

我是康南·奥布莱恩，这是我的新播客。

This is Conan O'Brien, and, this is my new podcast.

康南·奥布莱恩需要一个朋友。

Conan O'Brien needs a friend.

让我解释一下。

Let me explain.

我已经做了二十五年的电视节目。

I've been doing a TV show for twenty five years.

我与名人嘉宾合作完成了四千多集。

I've done over 4,000 episodes with celebrity guests.

你可能会觉得我应该有很多朋友，但我没有。

You'd think I'd have friends, but I don't.

我其实是在说实话。

I'm actually being kind of honest.

我所有的朋友都是为我工作的人。

All my friends are people that work for me.

名人会来参加节目。

Celebrities come on the show.

他们假装对我特别友好。

They pretend to be really nice to me.

但节目一结束，他们就上一辆黑色SUV离开了。

But when the show's over, they get in a black SUV and they leave.

所以我想，不如在一个更轻松、非正式的环境中，坐下来和这些人聊聊，也许他们真能成为我的朋友。

And so what I thought I'd like to do is in a more relaxed, informal environment, sit down with some of these people and just talk to them, and maybe they'd become a real friend.

我指的是那种会和我在丹尼餐厅碰面，一起吃点东西的人。

I'm talking about someone who would meet me at a Denny's and grab a bite to eat.

我觉得这正是做播客的完美方式。

I thought this would be the perfect way to do it, a podcast.

这就是这个节目的理念。

That's the concept of the show.

我有我的助理索娜，她一直陪着我。

I have my assistant Sona, who's been with me.

索娜，你跟我一起工作多少年了？

How many years have you been with me, Sona?

快十年了。

Almost ten years.

是的。

Yeah.

你和我就像花生酱和什么？

You and I are like peanut butter and what?

一种跟花生酱不搭的东西。

Something that doesn't go with peanut butter.

我们就像花生酱和修正液。

We're like peanut butter and White Out.

把这两样混在一起，吃下去可能会要了你的命。

Mix those two together and you've got a sandwich that would probably kill you if you ate it.

你一直对我非常坦诚，人们在节目中喜欢你，因为你真的是美国的声音。

You've always been extremely honest with me and people love it when you're on the show because you are the voice of America, really.

哦。

Oh.

这很讽刺，你是美国的声音，但你来自亚美尼亚。

And it's ironic that you're the voice of America because you're from Armenia.

我不是来自亚美尼亚。

I am not from Armenia.

我是亚美尼亚人，但我出生在这个国家。

I am Armenian, but I was born in this country.

我以为你出生在亚美尼亚，然后才来这里的。

I thought you were born in Armenia and you came here.

不是。

No.

是的，确实如此。

Yes, did.

不，那是你编出来的。

No, that's something you made up.

我觉得你是被放在篮子里漂过来的。

I think you floated here in a basket.

什么？

What?

记得吗？

Remember?

你爸爸当时正被山羊攻击。

Your father was being attacked by goats.

你还是个婴儿。

Were a baby.

他用树枝编了个篮子。

He made a basket out of twigs.

好吧。

Alright.

为了救你的命，他把你放在篮子里漂走，你从亚美尼亚岛漂了出去。

To save your life, he floated you away, and you floated from the island of Armenia.

那不是个岛。

It's not an island.

然后你漂到了加利福尼亚，通过观看《王朝》的老剧集学会了说英语。

And then you landed in California, and you learned to speak English by watching old episodes of Dynasty.

不。

No.

这根本不可能。

That's not even possible.

好吧。

Okay.

而且，不可能有人能坐在篮子里漂到这里。

Also, that's impossible for someone to float here in a basket.

我对摩西也这么说过。

Told that to Moses.

好吧。

Okay.

总之，我觉得这是个好主意。

Anyway, I think this is a good idea.

康南·奥布莱恩需要一个朋友。

Conan O'Brien needs a friend.

这给了我一个做自己的机会，可能和电视节目里的我有点不一样，然后我能和这些人进行一场非常亲密的对话。

It's a chance for me just to be me, probably a little different from the TV show, and then I get to have a really intimate conversation with these people.

是的。

Yeah.

你知道我的工作哪里让人困惑吗？

You know what's confusing about my job?

在生活中，社交信号是：有个女人或者男人，他们和我眼神交流，对我微笑，走过来打招呼，坐下和我聊天，对我讲的话发笑。

In life, social cues are there's a woman or there's a man, they make eye contact with me, they smile, they come over, they greet me, they sit down and they chat with me and they laugh at the things I say.

这就是你刚刚交到朋友的证明。

That's proof that you've just made a friend.

不，这些都是人们在脱口秀节目中会做的事情。

No, those are all the things people do at a talk show appearance.

它模仿了真正的友谊和良好的互动，但却是虚假的。

It mimics a real friendship and a good interaction, but it's fake.

这就是我想要这个播客的原因。

That's why I want this podcast.

真是不可思议，你都做了二十五年了，居然还没弄明白这一点。

It's amazing after twenty five years that you haven't figured that out though.

是的。

Yeah.

我根本不知道有人在安排这些嘉宾。

I didn't know that there was someone booking these people.

你以为他们只是来和你闲逛的？

You thought they were just coming to hang out?

我真的以为朱迪·丹奇女士是自己出现，想和我一起放松的。

I really did think that Dame Judi Dench just showed up and wanted to hang with me.

而且你知道吗，你和他们聊的内容，就像朋友随便闲逛时那样很正常。

Well, and then you know what you're gonna talk about with them, is normal for friends just hanging out.

其实我和朋友见面时会用一些蓝色的小卡片。

Well actually with my friends I have little blue cards.

在我和朋友见面之前，我会让研究人员先去和他们聊聊。

I have researchers talk to my friends before I hang out with them.

真奇怪。

Weird.

你知道什么更奇怪吗？

You know what's weird?

去年感恩节，我切火鸡的时候，让大家都祷告，也就是说谢饭祷告，然后直接切到广告了。

Last Thanksgiving, I cut the turkey and I had us all say a prayer, know, say grace, and then I threw to a commercial.

这真的挺悲哀的。

That's really sad.

我们当时在我家的餐厅里。

We were in my dining room.

我女儿开始哭了。

My daughter started to cry.

天哪。

Oh my god.

我说：我们要失去赞助商了。

I said, We're gonna lose the sponsor.

安静点。

Keep quiet.

好的。

Okay.

这是我交朋友的机会。

This is my chance to make a friend.

你已经在电视上待了二十五年，但你为什么觉得自己有资格做播客呢？

Well, you've been on TV for twenty five years, but why do you think you're qualified to do a podcast?

很多人对我性格挺接受的，但他们宁愿不看到我的脸。

I A lot of people are okay with my personality, but they'd rather not see the face.

天哪。

Oh no.

是真的。

It's true.

这是我妻子说的一句话。

That's a quote from my wife.

所以播客可能是体验我的最佳方式。

So podcast might be the best way to experience me.

康南·奥布莱恩需要一个朋友。

Conan O'Brien needs a friend.

现在在Apple Podcasts订阅，今年十一月上线。

Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts coming this November.

如果你正在听这个，那你来对地方了。

If you're listening to this, you're in the right place.

只需点击订阅。

Just click subscribe.

现在就去做。

Do it now.

现在。

Now.

这个

This

这是由18 Coco制作并与之合作的。

has been 18 Coco production in association with.