名侦探柯南

柯南·奥布莱恩需要一个粉丝。

Conan O'Brien needs a fan.

想和柯南聊聊吗？

Wanna talk to Conan?

访问 teamcoco.com/呼叫柯南。

Visit teamcoco.com slash call conan.

好的。

Okay.

我们开始吧。

Let's get started.

不。

No.

不。

No.

嚼。

Chew.

嚼。

Chew.

哦。

Oh.

你说什么？

What'd say?

嚼得真糟糕。

Terrible chew chew.

时机真糟糕。

Terrible timing.

不。

No.

嘿。

Hey.

欢迎收听柯南·奥布莱恩的《家庭新闻》。

Welcome to Conan O'Brien News of Fam.

天哪。

God.

我想道歉，让我先跟你道个歉，先生。

I wanna apologize for let me apologize quickly to you, sir.

马特·戈利刚才在嚼一个看起来像能量棒的东西。

Matt Gorley was chewing what looked like a kind of a nut bar.

那确实是个能量棒。

It was a nut bar.

这很没礼貌，因为我们在跟你说话。

And that's rude because we're talking to you.

你是客人，但我嘴里是干净的，我可以清晰地跟你讲话。

You're a guest, but my mouth is clear, and I can speak to you succinctly.

我根本没得到什么提醒。

Just was given no real warning.

没有。

No.

我觉得你确实这么做了。

I think you did.

我以为

I thought

你说话就是这样。

that's just how you talk.

对。

Yeah.

我

I

不知道。

don't know.

你离开有一段时间了

You've been away for a

所以也许发生了什么。

while, so maybe something happened.

谢谢。

Thank you.

哦，是的。

Oh, yes.

安德鲁。

Andrew.

对。

Yes.

我都不知道怎么说话了。

I forgot how to talk.

安德鲁一上来就放大招了。

Andrew brought out the big guns right away.

他知道你休了超长的陪产假。

He knows you took an overly long paternity leave.

来了来了。

Here we go.

先生，你的名字是安德鲁·佐尔蒂。

Your name, sir, is Andrew Zolti.

那是你的真名，但你的艺名是——告诉我怎么念这个。

That's your real name, but you go by the name tell me how to pronounce this.

早餐？

Breakfast?

你叫那个名字。

You called that name.

你刚才

What did you

你怎么

how did you

我以为会是——我不知道是不是——上面写着早餐，我就想，哦，我多半会说早餐，然后他会说，不好意思。

think it would have been I didn't know if it was it says breakfast, and I thought, oh, chances are I'm gonna say breakfast, and he's gonna go, excuse me.

是早餐。

It's breakfast.

不过笔记里确实写了

But it is here in the notes that

意思是‘快速行动，打破常规’。

it means to move fast and break stuff.

我可不看笔记。

I don't read the notes.

哦，好的。

Oh, okay.

我跟人沟通。

I talk to people.

我当时

I was

想帮

trying to

你一下。

help you.

我是在帮你。

I trying to help you.

你不用跟我客气。

You don't need to excuse me.

我得再吃一口。

I gotta have another bite.

对。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

你得看看能不能

You need to see could go

去争取一下。

up for it.

你需要

You need

要补充碳水化合物。

to carbo load.

你做到了。

You did.

所以是早餐。

So breakfast.

这里写着你是动态雕塑家。

You are it says here you are a kinetic sculptor.

什么是动态雕塑？

What is kinetic sculpture?

给我讲讲。

Tell me about it.

你能看到我身后吗？

Can you see behind me?

能。

I can.

但这也是个播客，所以我觉得得说点什么。对。

But it's also a podcast, so I thought it'd be good to Yeah.

总得在某个地方加点词儿进去。

That doesn't really to include some words in there somewhere.

我以为我们已经说了。

I thought we did.

我也这么觉得。

I would.

我看到你后面，让我跟那些没在看视频的听众描述一下，对，我看到有几个交错的环在旋转扭动。

I see behind you let me describe to our listeners who who aren't watching this that, yes, I see interlocking rings that are twisting and undulating.

我觉得，真的挺酷的。

I see I mean, it's very cool.

我看到一排闪亮的银色长方形。

I see a shimmering series of silver rectangles.

还有那个，我的意思是，你看啊。

There's a I mean, look.

这些东西我能说上一整天。

I could describe these things all day.

真的吗？

Could you?

因为刚才那场讨论挺激烈的。

Because that was a rough discussion.

确实挺激烈的。

That was pretty rough.

挺不错的。

Was pretty good.

哦，看看谁来了。

Oh, look who's

说得挺准的。

That was pretty accurate.

糖果棒正好砸在肚子上。

Candy bar just hit the stomach.

你来势汹汹啊。

You came in hot.

咔嚓。

Chomp.

咔嚓。

Chomp.

咔嚓。

Chomp.

真的吗，柯南？

Really, Conan?

好吧，早餐时间。

Okay, Breakfast.

跟我说说。

Tell me.

这种动态雕塑，我在别的地方见过类似的。

This kinetic sculpture, I've seen examples of this places.

我经常去西雅图。

I go to Seattle a lot.

我妻子的家人来自那里，那里有一个敲打的人像。

It's where my wife's family's from, and they have a hammering man there.

那是一个很高的雕塑，不停地敲打，就像在敲打某种锡器或什么的，但真的很酷，大概有，我也不确定，可能有40英尺高。

It's a tall sculpture that hammers away like it's like it's it's hammering out some pewter or something, but it's really cool, it's about, I don't know, might be 40 feet tall.

对。

Yeah.

那算不算是一种动态雕塑呢？

Is that the would that be a kinetic sculpture?

我觉得算。

I think it would.

我的意思是，动态就是指会动。

I mean, kinetic just means moving.

好的。

Okay.

但我试着把它调高一点。

But I try to I try to dial it up a little bit.

所以，是的，我做的所有东西，我都倾向于让它们非常互动，也许我一会儿离开麦克风，可以给你展示一下。

So, like so, yeah, all the things I I make, I tend to try and, one, make them really interactive, which maybe if I run away from the microphone in a sec, I can show you.

哦。

Oh.

而且所有这些其实都是根据实时数据在移动的。

But then all these things are actually moving based on real time data as well.

比如，这个小银色的东西，它的移动有点像水。

So, like, this little silver moving it kinda moves like water

在它后面。

behind it.

真漂亮。

Beautiful.

它在闪闪发光。

It shimmers.

是的。

That is.

对。

Yeah.

确实如此。

It does.

而且，它在这里。

And and it it here.

我要，我要

I'm gonna I'm gonna

他走开了。

He's moving away.

他走开了。

He's moving away.

哦，哇。

Oh, wow.

他的手。

His hand.

他就像个魔术师。

He is like a magician.

你只要在这个表面上挥一下手，它就开始起伏波动，像是在回应你，而且每块瓷砖的动法都不一样。

You just waved your hand over this surface, and it it all started sort of undulating, responding to you, and and all the different tiles moved in a different way.

特别酷。

It was very cool.

对。

Yeah.

而且它移动的方式，其实跟墨西哥的查帕拉湖有关，那个湖因为气候变化在退缩。

And it's and it's actually the way that it moves, it's connected to Lake Chapala in Mexico, which is receding due to climate change.

所以水面一升一降，就会影响你伸手划过时产生的效果。

And so as that water goes up and down, it changes what happens when you move your hand through it.

就像如果你有一个水坑，深了或浅了，感觉会不一样，对。

So kinda like if you had a puddle that got deeper or shallower Yeah.

它确实会根据那个情况发生变化。

It actually changes based on that.

所以这些装置都接入了实时数据，能产生互动效果。这其实源于我小时候逛博物馆的经历，当时总觉得自己挺无聊的，心里挺不是滋味。对。

So all the pieces have this sort of real time data thing going to it and interaction, and it pretty much just comes from me being a kid, walking through museums, and feeling bad that I was bored Right.

我就想创作一些能……

And just trying to make art that

你路过米开朗基罗的大卫像时，心想：这哥们儿怎么就不能动起来呢？

You walked you walked by Michelangelo's David and thought, why ain't that fucking guy moving around?

对。

Uh-huh.

不是。

No.

是的。

Yeah.

为什么他的阴茎没有旋转？

Why isn't his penis twirling?

天哪。

It's Oh my god.

我是认真的。

Well, I'm serious.

什么在

What is

旋转？

it twirling?

我知道。

I know.

它应该旋转，应该根据情况变大变小，对。

And it should twirl it should grow and shrink in relation Yeah.

根据什么？

To how much?

这才像话。

Now we're talking.

好吧，行。

Well, okay.

我有点过头了。

I went too far.

对。

Yeah.

但是能长，而且它还能吃两根骨头。

But grow and It's a can eat two bones.

但我有个问题。

But I have a question.

我想说，如果它们能根据实际情况变大变小，那岂不是太棒了？

I have a well, wouldn't that be amazing if they could grow and shrink in relation to what's happening?

要是能那样就好了。

If only.

显然，我对真实的阴茎工作原理完全不了解。

Clearly, I've I've I'm completely unfamiliar with how a real penis works.

嘿。

Hey.

我的那个会根据墨西哥的那个湖而上下变化。

Mine goes up and down based on that lake in Mexico.

对。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

每当有湖经过的时候，他就会说，哇。

Whenever a lake passes, he's like, wow.

早餐。

Breakfast.

我就是喜欢说早餐这个词。

And I I say this I love saying breakfast.

你给我听着，早餐。

Now listen here, breakfast.

你是最重要的，工作中最重要的设备是什么？

You are the most What important meal of the are the devices at work?

现在在做什么？你在搞什么机械方面的东西？

What's happening to what kind of mechanical stuff are you doing?

什么类型的布线？

What kind of wiring?

我就是好奇。

I'm just curious.

我不需要，你知道的，深入细节。

I don't need, you know, to get into the weeds on it.

我们会深入的。

We will.

对。

Yeah.

嗯，其实我应该公平地说，在那边，通常有16个人帮我做这些事。是的。

It's well, I should be fair in that over there, normally, there's there's 16 people that help me do this these days Yep.

因为我们做的东西非常大，非常大。

Because we make massive, massive things.

所以我们负责所有的电气工程、机械工程和工业设计。

So so we're doing all the electrical engineering, mechanical engineering, industrial design.

所以每个东西里面都有电脑。

So there's there's computers inside each one of these things.

还有电机。

There's motors.

还有，你知道，我们做过一些作品，里面有九千个电机，一天二十四小时不停地动，用在游轮中间或者其他奇怪的地方，反正很复杂，需要投入大量的精力和时间，而且非常硬核。

There's you know, we've made pieces with 9,000 motors that move twenty four hours a day in the middle of cruise ships and and weird stuff like that, but it is complex, takes a tremendous amount of effort and time, and gets really nerdy.

我有个问题。

I have a question.

但是，你知道，这一切都是为了孩子们。

But, you know, it's just for the kids.

真的很酷。

It's really cool.

这真的很酷。

It's very cool.

这些东西看起来太棒了。

These things look amazing.

问雕塑的维护问题可能有点奇怪，但你们是怎么维护的？

What is the it's funny to ask about sculpture, but what's the maintenance?

我的意思是，你们是不是会被叫去，就像你们做了非常漂亮、复杂的东西，然后他们说，是的。

I mean, do you get called in like you've you've done a very beautiful, complicated, and they say, yes.

其中一个伺服电机，九千个伺服电机中的一个出问题了。

One of the servos, one of the 9,000 servos is on the fritz.

维护起来难吗？

Is it hard to maintain?

电池需要更换。

Battery needs to be replaced.

对。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

你就去Angie's list找人修吗？

You just go to Angie's list to get someone?

你怎么

How do you

没错。

Exactly.

对。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

全靠Angie's

It's all Angie's

修你的雕塑。

fix your sculpture.

它在哪儿呢？

It's where is it?

哦，对。

Oh, yeah.

你有一个那种起伏的湖景的玩意儿。

You got one of those undulating lake titty cock.

我知道怎么回事了。

I know what's going on.

拿个螺丝刀捅进去。

Stick a screwdriver in it.

会好玩的。

It'll be fun.

对。

Yeah.

不。

No.

我是说，这其实是我最喜欢回答的问题，因为我经常被问到。

It's I mean, it's that is the that is actually my favorite question to answer because I get it constantly.

我解释的方式是，我们生活在一个习惯了消费电子产品的世界里，这些产品尽可能便宜高效地制造，而且成本很低。

And and the the way that I explain this is we live in a world where we are very used to consumer devices that are made as kinda cheaply and efficiently as possible, and they gotta cost very little.

但如果你想想把卫星送入太空，而且不回收，那更像是我们遵循的模式。

If you think about sending a satellite into space that you don't get back, that's kinda more the model that we follow.

对。

Right.

所以我们从零开始制造一切，每个电机都是定制的，每块电路板也是，你放上去的零件，你可以选择不是10美分的，而是花一美元买那个小零件，这样它能用50到100年，而不是5到10年。

So every that's why we make everything from scratch is to every motor is custom designed, every circuit board, and the part you put on there, you can choose something that instead of costing 10¢, oh, we spent a dollar on that one little part, and it will now last fifty to a hundred years instead of five to ten.

所以如果你用正确的方式制造，它就能持久。

And so if you build it the right way, it will last.

同时，我们在世界各地有很多部件，如果出了什么事，比如清洁工用扫帚撞坏了什么东西，我们就得让更换变得非常容易。

And then at the same time, you know, we got a lot of pieces all around the world, and it if something were to happen, you know, I've had, you know, the cleaning person smash a broom into something, then we gotta make it really easy to just swap it out.

所以我们也设计...

So we also design

天哪，把那个清洁工炒了吧。

Man, fire the cleaning person.

它是一个

Where it's

球形的。

a sphere.

对。

Yeah.

没错。

Exactly.

那就是你

That's the

首先要做的事。

first thing you do.

至少得把他们解雇了。

At at least fire them.

还有别的吗？

Something more.

你设计并建造了一个叫“珍珠”的作品。

You designed and built a piece called the pearl.

这里说它是一个54英尺的球体，有数千块瓷砖，能模拟风和波浪。

It says here it's a 54 foot sphere with thousands of tiles, and it mimics the wind and waves.

我的意思是，这个在哪里？

That I mean, where is this?

我怎么才能看到它？

How can I see this?

那个啊，我们做了两个，它们在世界最大的两艘邮轮上。

That is the one on well, we've made two of them, and they're on the two biggest cruise ships in the world.

它们实际上支撑着它们所在位置的上层甲板。

So they're they literally hold up the decks above where they are.

这是个巨大的东西。

This is massive thing.

哦，所以它们也是承重的。

Oh, so it's it's they're load bearing as well.

它们是承重的。

They're load bearing.

对。

Yeah.

做这个真是个糟糕的主意。

This was a horrible idea to do it.

它……

It's

对。

Yeah.

我是说，它是承重的。

I mean, it's load bearing.

它有54英尺，对。

It's 54 feet Yeah.

周长大概有几千块瓷砖那么长。

In circumference, I guess, of thousands of tiles.

对，是的。

And Yeah.

那是九千个马达在运转。

It's nine nine thousand motors moving.

就是刚才我说的那个。

This is the one I was saying.

每天24小时都在大洋中间，处理加勒比海地区的数据。

It's just 24 a day in the middle of the ocean reacting to data across The Caribbean.

这真是个庞然大物，你知道的，晚上睡觉都有点困难。

It's a it's a beast, and, you know, it it was a little hard to sleep at night.

我都能想象到，现在船只经常相撞，因为船上的人都在盯着那个晃动的球体看。

I could just see the the the But now ships crashing all the time because everyone on board is just looking at the undulating sphere.

哇哦。

Woah.

然后他们就撞上了冰山。

And then they just ran into an iceberg.

然后因为撞了，球体波动得更厉害了。

And then the sphere undulates even more because it's crashed.

波动。

Undulating.

然后它在水下波动，因为一头虎鲸

And then it's underwater undulating because an orca

那样做。

does that.

我可能不该说，但那里有个楼梯，你从中间走下去，我的担心成真了，就是在摇晃的船上看着球体，谁能走下楼梯还不摔倒？

I'm probably not supposed to say it, but there is a there's a stairway that so you walk down these stairs through the middle of it, and my fear kinda came true, which is who on a rocking ship looking at a sphere can walk downstairs and not trip and fall?

哦。

Oh.

他们可能不喜欢我提这个，但你知道，现在楼梯加了额外的照明。

And they probably don't like me mentioning that, but, you know, it's there there's some extra stair lighting now.

我们就这么说吧

We'll just put it that

对。

way.

所以，愿上帝安息他们的灵魂。

So And may God rest their soul.

没错。

Exactly.

所以我会确保我的律师不会

So I'll I'll make sure my lawyer doesn't

听到。

listen.

是的。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

你现在有没有梦想，将来有一天打造一个和那些定义一座城市的雕塑或建筑同等规模的东西？

Now do you have a dream to one day build something that's on the same scale as you know you know, one of those sculptures or pieces of architecture that defines a city?

你明白我的意思吗？

Do you know what I'm saying?

就像埃菲尔铁塔定义了巴黎，特朗普拱门将要定义华盛顿特区那样。

The way the Eiffel Tower defines Paris, the way the Trump Arch is gonna define Washington DC.

天哪。

Oh my god.

你，顺便说一句，你应该让那个东西动起来。

Do do you and by the way, you should you should make that thing move.

你知道吗？

You know?

移到别的地方去。

Somewhere else.

搬到城外去，乔治。

Move out of town, George.

对吧？

Right?

嘿。

Hey.

我们确实讲了政治幽默。

We did we did political humor.

也许我们会回到

Maybe we'll go back

这个话题。

to it.

我们没那么笨。

We're not so dumb.

是的。

Yeah.

总之，继续说。

Anyway, go ahead.

你觉得呢？

What do you think?

对。

Yeah.

不。

No.

我的意思是，那才是梦想，我觉得，就是我们不再建造像埃菲尔铁塔那样的东西了。

I mean, that's that is that is the dream, I would say, is that that we don't build we don't build, like, the Eiffel Tower kind of kinda pieces anymore.

如果还有的话，我也不知道。

And and if they are, the I don't know.

我想创造一些东西，那个大梦想就是创造那样的东西，但现在想象一下马萨诸塞州的布鲁克莱恩。

I wanna create something that that's the big dream is to create some of that, but now imagine Brookline, Mass.

马萨诸塞州。

Mass.

是的。

Yes.

你知道吗？

You know?

一个巨大的机械柯南二手车气球。

A giant mechanical Conan used car balloon.

对。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

你会怎么做？

Would you do?

你会怎么做？

What would you do?

假设我疯了，而且我有很多钱。

Let's say I was insane, and let's say I had a massive amount of money.

对。

Yeah.

如果我委托你，你会怎么表现我？

And I commissioned you, what how would you depict me?

你会怎么运用你的能力？

How would you use your powers?

对，没错。

Oh, yeah.

你会怎么利用这些伺服电机和活动的部件来创作一个柯南的雕塑呢？

How would you use your powers in with all these servos and moving parts to do a Conan sculpture?

那就做个柯南吧。

To do a Conan okay.

所以我觉得，咱们其实应该借鉴米开朗基罗的风格。

So what you like I I actually think we should lift from the the Michelangelo.

我觉得我们需要一个

I think we need a

漂亮的、像柯南那样的勃起形象。

nice A boner and Conan.

我们需要

We need

我们需要一个卡罗尔雕像。

a we need a carol figure.

一个勃起的柯南。

A boner and Conan.

哦，天哪。

Oh, oh my.

我们就用那个。

We're gonna use that.

我们要

We're gonna

用那个。

use that.

然后我觉得我们要做的，就是把你的头发做成

And then I think what we're gonna do, we're gonna make your your hair

必须是头发。

It's gotta be the hair.

别用铜管了。

Get out of brass.

对。

Yeah.

是的。

Yes.

而且实际上，我们会把它连接到布鲁克莱恩。

And it's gonna we're actually, we'll connect that to Brookline.

所以不管风怎么吹。

So whatever the wind is

哇。

Woah.

布鲁克林，确认一下。

Brooklyn, make sure.

波士顿的风吹向布鲁克莱恩，会怎么影响我那六十英尺高的头发飘动呢？

Mass in with how the wind blowing in Brookline will affect how my massive sixty foot high hair is undulating?

对。

Yeah.

不过我觉得最有趣的是，你知道那种雕塑吗？有时候路过一座雕像，大家会去摸它的脚或者鼻子，据说这样能带来好运。

But I think the best part do you know those sculptures that sometime like, you'll go by a there's, like, a statue where you rub it, the guy's foot or his nose, and it's like luck.

你见过吗？

You ever see

这些雕塑？

these sculptures?

对。

Yeah.

而且它们有些地方其实已经磨损了。

And they're worn they're actually kinda worn away in those spots.

已经磨没了。

They're worn away.