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柯南·奥布莱恩需要一位粉丝。
Conan O'Brien needs a fan.
想和柯南聊聊吗？
Wanna talk to Conan?
访问 teamcoco.com/callconan。
Visit teamcoco.com/callconan.
好的。
Okay.
我们开始吧。
Let's get started.
嘿，克里斯。
Hey, Chris.
欢迎来到《柯南需要粉丝》，我是柯南，特别嘉宾是凯文·尼龙。
Welcome to Conan Needs a Fan with Conan and special guest, Kevin Nealon.
嘿。
Hey.
凯文·尼伦今天也加入了我们。
Kevin Nealon's joining us today.
克里斯，你好吗？
Chris, how are you?
我很好。
I'm doing well.
你呢？
And yourself?
哦，太好了。
Oh, great.
我们还好。
We're doing okay.
克里斯，你是在哪里跟我们通话的？
Where are you coming to us from, Chris?
来自肮脏的T城，塔克镇，亚利桑那州的图森。
The dirty t, Tucktown, Tucson, Arizona.
不错。
Nice.
好的。
Alright.
哇。
Wow.
说提华纳。
Say Tijuana.
我知道。
I know.
跟我们简单介绍一下你自己吧。
Tell us a little bit about yourself.
我这里有一张小纸条，上面写着你是……这真令人印象深刻。
I just have a little scrap of paper here that says that you are a this is impressive.
你是一名职业摔角手。
You're a luchador.
是这样吗？
Is that right?
你是一名摔跤手。
You're a wrestler.
是的。
Yeah.
我从事摔跤行业至今已有二十七年了。
I've been in the wrestling business for twenty seven years now.
哇。
Wow.
好的。
Okay.
天哪。
Jeez.
这太不可思议了。
This is incredible.
而且你自己也摔跤。
And you wrestle yourself.
你有吗
Do you have a
他自己摔跤。
He wrestles himself.
是的。
Yeah.
嗯，我们都经历过那种事。
Well, we've all done that.
那具体是做什么的呢？
What's that all about?
摔跤分析师。
Wrestling analysts.
非常公平。
Very fair.
已经安排好了。
There's a fix in.
他总是把球传给自己。
He always throws it to himself.
克里斯托弗，你摔跤的时候有个角色，对吧？
Christopher, you have a character, right, when you're wrestling?
是的。
Yeah.
我戴着全脸面具。
I am fully masked.
我有个角色名叫先知。
I have a character named the prophet.
先知。
The prophet.
这名字真棒。
That's a great name.
对摔跤手来说是个好名字。
It's a great name for a wrestler.
对摔跤手来说。
For a wrestler.
我们有照片吗？
And do we have a photograph?
我想我们有你的照片。
I think we have a photograph of you.
我的天啊。
Oh my god.
快看那个。
Look at that.
这太令人印象深刻了。
That is impressive.
所以，谢谢你。
So Thank you.
你就是那位先知。
You are the prophet.
告诉我们当你进入角色时，这些真是太棒了。
Tell us when you're in character as the these are great.
天哪。
Jeez.
看看这个。
Look at this.
跟我们讲讲这个角色，先知，的一些情况吧。
Tell us a little bit about this character, the prophet.
你本人是相信他是个先知，还是你的角色真的是个先知？
Are you someone who believes he's a prophet, or is your character really a prophet?
他有魔法能力吗？
Does he have magical powers?
他能预见未来吗？
Can he see the future?
这更像是一种神秘感。
It's more of a mystique type thing.
非常安静，直截了当，我进入拳击台，完成我的工作。
A very quiet, just straight to the point I get in the ring and do my job.
是的。
Yep.
我就是以这种方式代表自己。
And just represent myself that way.
克里斯，你有什么标志性的动作吗？
Do you have a signature move you do, Chris?
它被称为预言。
It's called the prophecy.
哦，那具体是怎么做的？
Oh, what what does that involve?
是的。
Yeah.
跟我们说说这个预言吧。
Tell us about the prophecy.
听起来很棒。
Do you that sounds great.
所以这个标志性动作叫做预言。
So the signature move is called the prophecy.
在你战斗的某个时刻，你会说，现在是预言降临的时刻。
And at some point during your battle, you say, now it's time for the prophecy.
然后你做什么呢？
And then what do you do?
所以我把他们的手臂钩在我的手臂上。
So I hook their arm over mine.
我像做身体抱摔那样把他们侧向抱起来。
I pick them up sideways like a body slam.
我把他们的身体甩出去，然后坐下并猛摔下去。
I swing their body out and sit down and slam it.
我的天啊。
My god.
这真是太有预言性了。
That's so prophetic.
我可以说
Can I say
这真是太有预言性了，老兄？
That is so prophetic, man?
我能说句话吗？
Can I say something?
这比我在新旧约中读到的任何预言都要伟大。
That is a greater prophecy than anything I've read in the old or new testament.
然后我
And I
我觉得，如果那些是预言的话，人们真的会非常关注。
think I think if those were the prophecies, people would really pay attention.
那样的话，世界上就会有更多的宗教信仰了。
They'd be much more religion in the
世界。
world.
是的。
Yeah.
这非常令人印象深刻。
That's very impressive.
谢谢。
Thank you.
要成为一名摔跤手，并且在你这个水平上坚持这么久，你必须是一位非常出色的运动员。
You have to be an amazing athlete to be a wrestler and to do it at the level that you've been doing it at for so long.
你受过一些严重的伤吗？
Have you had some bad injuries?
跟我们说说这个。
Tell us about that.
我觉得自己还算幸运，但大概在第十年的时候，我的肘部骨折了。
I think I've been pretty fortunate, but around ten years in, I did break my elbow.
我不得不为此做了手术。
I had to get surgery on that.
嗯哼。
Mhmm.
但发生在我身上最奇怪的事情是，我得了一种叫做横纹肌溶解症的病症。
But the the weirdest thing that happened to me is I came down with a condition called rhabdomyolysis.
基本上，那就是我的肌肉在分解，然后通过肾脏过滤。
And that's basically where my muscles were breaking down and being filtered through my kidneys.
所以我的尿液是黑色的。
So my urine was black.
那可不好。
And that's bad.
不。
No.
不。
No.
不。
No.
不。
No.
不。
No.
还没有。
Not yet.
听他们说完。
Hear them out.
克里斯，快说到糟糕的部分。
Chris, get to the bad part.
对。
Yeah.
直接说重点，我的意思是，我觉得在座各位现在肯定都吓得尿黑尿了。
Get to the part where it's really I mean, I don't think there's someone there's not a person here who's not peeing some black urine right now.
不过等一下。
But wait a minute.
为什么会发生这种事？
Why did this happen?
为什么这种状况会这样？
Why what is it about this condition?
它会分解你的肌肉，然后将其转化为一种浓稠的泥状物，之后你会通过排尿将其排出。
It breaks down your muscles and then converts it into a thick sludge that you then pee out.
从技术上讲，你说得对。
You're on technically.
如果你站在角落的绳索上时这么做，那算是一种防御吗，就像油渍一样？
If you do that while you're standing on the ropes in the corner, is that some kind of a defense, like an oil slick?
这就像是... 你知道吗，克里斯，你本应该怎么做？
It's like a You know what you should have done, Chris?
你应该把你的角色命名为鱿鱼。
You should have called your character you should have called your character the squid.
然后每当你快要输的时候，你就喷出这股黑色水流，你的对手立刻就被定住了。
And just whenever you're about to lose, you shoot out this black stream, and your your opponent is immediately immobilized.
克里斯，你有多少套服装？
How many costumes do you have, Chris?
大概有15套左右。
Probably around 15.
好的。
Okay.
你们有没有更适合正式比赛的款式，还是说
Do you have one for more of, a formal fight, or is it
它们都一样，只是颜色不同。
They're all the same, just different colors.
在我们想表达一些同理心之前。
And Before we wanna show some empathy here.
凯文，快停下
Kevin, just stop
等一下。
for a second.
我很喜欢。
Loving it.
是的。
Yeah.
我知道你很享受，但我想确认一下，克里斯，你是怎么摆脱这个可怕的疾病的？
I know you're loving it, but I wanted to make sure, Chris, how did you get rid of this terrible disease?
你现在痊愈了吗？
And are you cured now?
然后我们再聊聊那些关于也许有条腰封的事情。
And then we'll get on to all the bits about Maybe got a cummerbund.
你明白吗？
You know?
所以基本上，你
So basically Do
你穿过百褶裙吗？
you ever wear a crenation?
这个病后来怎么样了？
What happened to this disease?
他们需要彻底清理我的身体系统。
They needed to flush my system out.
所以我在医院住了一周，接受静脉注射治疗。
So I was in the hospital for a week on an IV.
那就是我当时所做的全部事情。
That was all I was doing.
对。
Right.
所以对我来说，那就像一次度假。
So it was, for me, a vacation.
好的。
Okay.
能在医院里排出一些黑色尿液，这总归是种度假般的体验。
It's always a vacation when you can just squirt out some black urine in a hospital.
所以你康复了，而且一旦毒素排出，疾病就不会继续发展。
So then you recovered, and the disease does not continue once it's flushed out.
是这样吗？
Is that correct?
我没有再得过，但老实说，我觉得从那以后我就再也没有完全恢复过。
I haven't got it again, but I'll honestly say I don't think I was ever a 100% after that.
哦。
Oh.
我还以为它
I thought it
那些电线让你看起来像是耳朵里流出了黑色的尿液。
It kinda looks like you have black pee coming out of your ears right now from those wires.
哦，那些
Oh, those
那些那些是耳机，凯文。
are those are those are headphones, Kevin.
我说的是那些电线。
I'm talking I'm talking about the wires.
是的。
Yeah.
我知道。
I know.
克里斯，我们回到封面按钮的话题上吧。
Chris, let's get back to the cover button.
好的。
Yeah.
嘿。
Hey.
克里斯，很抱歉我刚才问你
Chris, I'm sorry that I asked you momentarily
关于那个问题。
about it.
用那个问题。
With that question.
是的。
Yeah.
我对此真的很抱歉。
I'm really sorry about it.
所以，是的。
So yeah.
所以你当时看到的全是黑色的。
So you went it was all black.
嘿。
Hey.
你穿什么？
What do you wear?
在拳击场上穿过燕尾服吗？
A tuxedo in the ring, ever?
你有很多粉丝吗？
You got lot of fans?
克里斯，你有很多粉丝吗？
You got a lot of fans, Chris?
你的粉丝基础是什么样的？
What's your fan base?
图森。
Tucson.
亚利桑那州的图森。
Tucson, Arizona.
我在这里建立了相当不错的粉丝群。
I built a pretty good following here.
是的。
Yeah.
我们定期在里亚托剧院举办演出，地点在
We do regular shows at the Rialto Theater in
市中心。
downtown.
嘿。
Hey.
你是个好人还是坏人？
Are you a good guy or a bad guy?
你是反派还是英雄？
Are you the heel or are you the hero?
在我职业生涯的大部分时间里，我都是英雄角色，但两年前，我转为反派，并与另一位摔角手发生了一点小冲突。
So I've been the hero for the majority of my career, but two years ago, I turned heel and had a little feud with another wrestler.
那是我最后一次摔角比赛。
That was the last time I wrestled.
我已经两年没有比赛了。
I haven't had a match in two years.
好的。
Okay.
你的死对头是谁？
Who's your arch enemy?
你有没有宿敌，就是那种先知一直憎恨的人，你知道的，像坎伯班德或者别的什么家伙？
What did you have a nemesis, someone who the prophet always hated, you know, the Cumberbund or whatever the other guy was?
嗯，从剧情角度来说，我做过最酷的事情就是和自己——那个假先知——展开了一场恩怨。
Well, the the coolest thing I've done, storyline wise was I had a feud against myself, the false prophet.
哦，哇。
Oh, wow.
这个主意真棒。
That's a great idea.
是的。
Yeah.
我们为此铺垫了一年，甚至一年半的时间。
We stressed it out for a year, year and a half.
我们进行了一系列比赛，还玩了些把戏，比如声东击西，互相捉弄。
We had a series of matches, and we were playing tricks, you know, look over here while he's over there and vice versa.
所以还挺有意思的。
So it was fun.
不过等一下。
But wait a minute.
两个角色都是你扮演的吗？
Did you play both characters?
基本上，我让我最初的一个学员成为了我的门徒。
So I had one of my original trainees became my disciple, basically.
是的。
Yeah.
这个主意真棒。
That's a great idea.
是的。
Yeah.
这挺酷的。
It's pretty cool.
先知是个了不起的角色，那假先知会试图对你做出预言吗？
Prophet is a terrific and would the false prophet try to do the prophecy on you?
他当时
He was
和我一样敏捷，所以我们能做出彼此的动作。
as agile as me, so we're able to do each other's moves.
如果你们互相施展预言术，会不会出现那种相互抵消、然后爆发出强光的情况？
Now if you each did the prophecy to each other, was it one of those things where it cancels out and there's like a bright flash?
是的。
Yeah.
一个黑洞。
A black hole.
是的。
Yeah.
这些问题问得很好，凯文。
These are good questions, Kevin.
我很抱歉。
I'm sorry.
哦，这对我的搭档来说还不够搞笑。
Oh, this isn't shticky enough for my partner here.
我可以
Can I
我能问一个真正的问题吗？
can I get into it with like a real question?
好的。
Yeah.
当然。
Sure.
请讲。
Go ahead.
是的。
Yeah.
克里斯，你是在摩门教家庭长大的。
Chris, you grew up as a Mormon.
对吗？
Correct?
我看了。
I did.
而且你
And did
你小时候看摔角吗？
you watch wrestling growing up?
直到青少年时期才开始看。
Not till teenage years.
你认为自己成长于摩门教信仰这一事实，是否促使你更倾向于扮演宗教角色？
Do you think the fact that you grew up in the Mormon faith steered you towards more of a religious character?
确实如此，但另一个因素是Three Six Mafia，因为他们的唱片公司名叫Prophet Entertainment。
That did, but the other factor was the three six Mafia because their record label was called Prophet Entertainment.
跟我讲讲Three Six Mafia吧。
Tell me about three six Mafia.
你，你在这里说得太激动了。
You you're going crazy here.
是的。
Yeah.
嘻哈。
Hip hop.
九十年代二月的一个著名嘻哈团体。
Famous hip hop group group from the nineties and February.
对。
Yeah.
这是一个
It's a
很棒的组合。
great group.
所以，你是他们的乐迷，然后你发现他们的唱片公司叫'先知'还是'预言'？
And so and so you're a fan of their music, then you saw that their record label was the Prophet or the Prophecy?
先知。
Prophet.
是先知娱乐。
It was Prophet Entertainment.
不错。
Nice.
所以我算是借鉴了那个名字。
So I kind of ripped that off.
我们不是借鉴。
We don't rip it off.
你说，我受到了启发。
You say, I was inspired.
我说，
I said,
哦，天哪。
oh my.
我受到了启发。
I was inspired.
你知道吗？
You know?
我这是在保护你免受法律诉讼。
I'm trying to protect you from legal action.
克里斯，你已经两年没摔跤了。
Chris, you haven't wrestled in two years.
对吧？
Right?
是的。
Yeah.
这些天我的身体确实很难受。
It's just really hard on my body these days.
只是想放轻松一点。
Just trying to take it easy.
对。
Yeah.
你是怎么保持忙碌的？
How do you stay busy?
嗯，除了摔跤生意，我还出租摔跤台，并为节日活动预订表演。
Well, with the wrestling business, besides doing that, I also rent rings and get books for festivals.
另外我也涉足餐饮业，正尝试开一辆餐车。
And I'm also in the food world too, trying to start a food trailer.
哦，跟我们说说这个吧。
Oh, tell us about that.
我很喜欢墨西哥菜，我在餐厅工作过几年，然后我就想出了一个阿瓜斯弗雷斯卡饮料系列。
So I love Mexican food, and I worked in a restaurant for a few years, and I just came up with, an aguas frescoes drink line.
哦。
Oh.
所以我想开始卖阿瓜斯弗雷斯卡，但我想叫它'卢查弗雷斯卡'，意为'战斗新鲜'。
So I wanna start selling aguas frescoes, but I wanna call it lucha fresco, Fight fresh.
不错。
Nice.
我喜欢嘿。
I like hey.
等等。
Wait.
这是个好主意。
That's a good idea.
我会喝卢查·弗雷斯科。
I would drink lucha fresco.
嗯哼。
Mhmm.
我可以帮你做个广告。
I could do an ad for you.
哦。
Oh.
你知道吗？
You know?
我，我会的，我会，我会成为……而且我知道你会担任代言人。
I I would do I would I would be a and I know that you'll do spokesperson.
你会为任何人拍广告。
You'll do an ad for anyone.
是的。
Yeah.
我来做。
I'll do it.
我愿意为任何人做任何事。
I'll do anything for anybody.
你知道吗，关于饮料，它们到底是什么，是水吗，还是它们
You know you know, the thing about drinks, what are they is this water or is it They're
由水和成分再加上糖制成。
made out of water with the ingredient and then sugar.
好的。
Okay.
总是很健康。
Are always healthy.
我认为很多时候，当你推销一个产品时，真正促成销售的是包装。
I think a lot of times when you're selling a product, it's really the packaging that sells it.
如果你看到这些Topo Chico的瓶子，它们看起来非常清爽。
If you see these Topo Chico bottles, they look so refreshing.
瓶身上有一点水珠，冰凉的瓶子。
A little condensation on them and cold bottle.
你的包装看起来
What's your packaging look
怎么样，克里斯？
like, Chris?
那说的不是
That's not about the
包装，我在说克里斯。
packaging I'm talking Chris.
我是说，那就是
I'm talking That's
就只是一个冷瓶子。
just to a cold bottle.
任何冷的克里斯，瓶子都会有冷凝水，抱歉。
Any cold Chris, bottle has condensation on I'm sorry.
对不起。
I'm sorry.
那个。
That.
因为它很凉。
For it being cold.
你是我们的
You're our
客人，但他一点感觉都没有。
guest, but yet he sense at all.
你知道吗？
You know what?
我真的很喜欢新的堡垒嘉年华。
I love the the new Fort Fiesta.
哦，你喜欢它哪一点呢？
Oh, what do you like about it?
它上面有些水珠。
It's got some dew on it.
克里斯，如果你想晚点给我打电话。
Chris, if you wanna call me later.
在外面，我们在波特兰。
Outside, and we're and we're in Portland.
好的。
Yeah.
这就是我喜欢它的地方。
That's what I like about it.
就是当它有那种露水，那种水润感的时候，感觉特别好。
It's just nice when it has that dew, that dewy look.
那样做会让你感觉很好吗？
Does it make you feel good to do that?
确实是的。
It did.
去扑向别人会让你感觉很好吗？
Does it make you feel good to, like, to pounce on people?
我把你打败了。
I crushed you.
你可以晚点打给我。
You could call me later.
我们到时候再聊。
We'll talk about it.
好的。
Okay.
克里斯，我喜欢这个想法。
Chris, I like this idea.
我喜欢这个想法。
I like this idea.
那你打算怎么做来让...什么
And what are you doing to make What
你打算在上面放什么样的包装？
kind of packaging are you putting on there?
所以我确实有透明的瓶子。
So I do have clear bottles.
它们非常光滑，而且我已经有了一个标志。
They're very sleek, and I do have a logo already.
我可能会修改它。
I might modify it.
但我这个周末刚在一个快闪市场，在那里我至少卖出了15瓶。
But I was just at a a pop up market this weekend, and I sold, at least 15 bottles there.
这就是我的起点。
So that's my start.
好的。
Okay.
那它们每个都有不同的口味吗？
And do they have each one is it coming different flavors?
是的。
Yeah.
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我目前的主要口味是牙买加风味和罗望子风味。
My main flavors right now is Jamaica and Tamarindo.
顺便说一句，这是我最喜欢的口味。
My favorite flavors, by the way.
我是说，这听起来很有前景。
Are I mean, this sounds promising.
我觉得你可能找到了一个不错的方向。
I think you might be onto something.
你背后有大的资金支持者吗？
Do you have any big money backers behind you?
没有。
No.
你有没有上过《鲨鱼坦克》这个节目？
Have you taken it on Shark Tank?
你会考虑上《鲨鱼坦克》吗？
Would you take it on Shark Tank?
我不知道。
I don't know.
我的意思是，以前有人做过。
I mean, it's been done before.
Aguas Fresca是存在的，但也许包装和营销方式可能会比其他品牌卖得更好。
Aguas Fresca exist, but maybe the way the packaging and the marketing might sell more than the other brands.
我喜欢lucha fresca这个想法。
I like the idea of lucha fresca.
我觉得这很棒。
I think that's great.
我喜欢这个名字。
I like the name.
克里斯，你会说西班牙语吗？
Do speak Spanish, Chris?
我会。
I do.
我已经练习了大概四年了。
I've been practicing for, like, four years now.
我在学法律，但还不流利。
I'm doing legal, but I'm still not fluent.
但是那个'清新搏击'，伙计，听起来真不错。
But that that lucha fresca, man, that comes out nice.
你在说什么？
What are you talking about?
听起来很不错。
It comes out nice.
他说的那种感觉。
The way he says it.
哦，他说的那种感觉。
Oh, the way he says it.
听起来也很不错。
It also comes out nice.
真是个奇怪的人。
So such a strange man.
所以你还没摔过跤。
So you haven't wrestled.
你觉得你摔跤生涯结束了吗？
Do think you're done wrestling?
是的。
Yeah.
你的摔跤生涯结束了。
Your wrestling day's over.
听起来，如果你已经两年没摔跤了，也许就是这样了。
It sounds to me like if you've done if you haven't wrestled in two years, maybe that's it.
没有复出机会了吗？
No comeback?
我还没退役。
I'm not retired.
好吧。
Alright.
基本上还是在摔跤行业里。
Pretty much in the wrestling business.
即使你退役了，也不会真正离开。
Even if you retire, you don't.
对。
Right.
因为你总会被拉回去。
Because you always get sucked back in.
但我确实有一个摔跤擂台。
But but I have a wrestling ring.
我仍然在训练，诸如此类的事情。
I I still train and stuff like that.
所以
So
现在我主要想教教新人。
Now I'm trying to just teach the new people.
克里斯，我不想把话题扯到自己身上，但几年前，我在墨西哥城做了一档让我非常自豪的节目。
Chris, I hate to make this about me, but I, a number of years ago, did a show that I was very proud of in Mexico City.
然后
And
节目里是不是有匹小马？
Does it have a a pony in it?
什么？
What?
里面有匹小马吗？
Was there a pony in it?
为什么里面会有小马？
Why would there be a pony in it?
因为那是在墨西哥的一场演出。
Because it was a show in Mexico.
是吗？
Yeah?
这有什么关联？
What's the connection?
你不怎么旅行，对吧？
You don't travel much, do you?
又提起提华纳了，
Just bringing up Tijuana again,
就叫救护车吧。
Just call an ambulance.
对不起。
I'm sorry.
我有一头驴。
I've a donkey.
我在一头驴里面。
I'm in a donkey.
叫救护车。
Call an ambulance.
克里斯快不行了，伙计。
Chris is dying, man.
克里斯可喜欢这样了。
Chris is loving it.
他说的是小马，不是驴。
He said pony instead of donkey.
嘿。
Hey.
我确实不怎么出门。
I really don't get out much.
我不怎么出门，
I don't get out much,
墨西哥城。
Mexico City.
尽他的一份力。
Doing his bit.
我的天啊。
My god.
在做那个环节。
Doing the bit.
是的。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
哦，你在搞那个喜剧表演。
Oh, you're doing that comedy thing.
看看柯南在搞他的喜剧表演。
Look at Conan doing his comedy thing.
嘿。
Hey.
现在有点偏离正题了。
Bit off of a bit now.
偏离正题和任何话题一样正当。
Bit off a bit is just as legitimate as any bit.
嘿，克里斯托弗。
Hey, Christopher.
我在墨西哥城做了这一系列节目。
I did this bunch of shows in Mexico City.
对那些节目感到非常自豪。
Very proud of that those shows.
我想问你的一件事是，你看了我的墨西哥摔角手片段吗？
One of the things I wanted to ask you was, did you see my luchador segment?
我实际上在墨西哥城进了一个摔角场，还扮成了我自己设计的摔角手角色。
I actually went into a ring in Mexico City, and I had my own luchador character that I dressed up as.
任何人都可以在那个叫什么的地方看到这个吗？
Anyone can see this as they go on what's it called?
YouTube。
YouTube.
我现在可以把它调出来。
I can pull it up now.
就是这个。
There it is.
疯狂的公鸡。
The crazy rooster.
我当时扮演的是疯狂公鸡。
I was the crazy rooster.
嘿。
Hey.
那就是我。
There I am.
那个本地人。
The guy with local.
我摔跤了。
I wrestled.
你熟悉那个片段吗？
What did you have you a, have you are you familiar with that segment?
还有，你觉得我表现得怎么样？
And b, how do you think I did?
是的。
Yeah.
我看过很多次了。
I've seen it multiple times.
我喜欢你所有的旅行节目，那一集对我来说意义重大。
I love all your travel shows, and that episode means a lot to me.
好的。
Okay.
还有，
And have
你看过我的任何作品吗，克里斯？
you seen any of my stuff, Chris?
在墨西哥吗？
In Mexico?
没有。
No.
都是关于科纳的。
It's all about Kona.
我们会挺过去的，克里斯。
We'll get through this, Chris.
再坚持一下。
Just hang in there.
你觉得我的摔跤动作怎么样？
What did you think of my wrestling moves?
说实话。
Be honest.
是的。
Yeah.
我会说，你很有运动天赋，而且我知道你精力充沛，所以你完成得非常出色。
I was you're I will say you are athletic, and I know you have all this energy, so you pulled it off very well.
而且和你一起在擂台上的其中一位，是我以前的一位冠军选手。
And one of the guys in the ring with you is a former champion of mine.
哦，哇。
Oh, wow.
好的。
Okay.
那你其实知道我在墨西哥城的具体位置吗？
So you actually do you know where I was in Mexico City?
你知道我待的是哪家健身房吗？
Do you know the the gym I was in?
不知道。
No.
我不知道。
I don't.
好的。
Okay.
那只是一个健身房。
It was just a gym.
明白了。
Okay.
是的。
Yeah.
我觉得如果我真的要摔跤，我几乎会立刻被干掉。
I think if I had to really wrestle, I'd be killed almost instantly.
而你把它弄坏了
And you've broken it
出来。
out.
大家都对我手下留情，因为他们知道，哦，这是个喜剧演员。
Everyone was going very easy on me because they knew, oh, here's the comedian.
我们得对他手下留情。
We gotta go easy on him.
我非常尊重你所做的事情，而且我觉得我可能在进场前几秒就会死掉，我想在我进入擂台之前，我就已经死了。
I have a lot of respect for for what you do, and I think I'd have died within seconds of me enter I think before I entered the ring, I would have died.
哦，是的。
Oh, yeah.
你知道吗？
You know?
我去过一次
I went to one
几年前在新泽西看过一场这种摔跤比赛，不管那个大体育场叫什么，当时座无虚席。
of these wrestling matches a couple years ago in New Jersey, whatever that big stadium is, and it was packed.
那场面简直像超级碗一样。
It was like a Super Bowl.
场面非常宏大。
It's huge.
然后约翰·塞纳从擂台底部出场，塞纳出来了。
And the ring in the bottom of John Cena come came out, Cena.
观众们都疯狂了。
People going crazy.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
我从来不知道它有那么大规模。
I never knew it was that that big.
我确实知道它有那么大规模。
I did know it was that big.
它已经火了很长时间了，抱歉。
It's been big for a long I'm sorry.
而我...不。
And I I No.
因为我喜欢阅读。
Because I like to read.
当然。
Sure.
好的。
Okay.
嗯，我偶尔也喜欢看看书，但我早就知道摔角运动规模很大。
Well, I also enjoy a book every now and then, but I've known for a while that wrestling is massive.
所以我很高兴你终于跟上节奏，了解到现在的情况了。
So I'm glad that you've caught up to what's happening.
你知道的，现在什么东西都火得不行。
You know, everything's massive.
我只是之前不知道而已。
I just didn't know it.
嗯哼。
Uh-huh.
因为我活在自己小小的知识世界里。
Because I live in my small world of knowledge.
好的。
Okay.
克里斯。
Chris.
克里斯，对不起。
Chris, I'm sorry.
我们回到你这边。
We're back to you.
好的。
Yeah.
回到你这边。
Back to you.
别再谈康纳了。
Enough about Conan.
谢谢，克里斯。
Thanks, Chris.
但我很佩服你总能想出新点子。
But I'm impressed that you keep coming up with new ideas.
你在尝试新东西。
You're trying new stuff.
我的意思是，这正是游戏的本质。
I mean, that's that's the game.
我们都得继续前进。
We've all gotta keep going.
我们得不断尝试新事物。
We gotta keep trying things.
所以我支持你。
And so I root for you.
我确实支持你，也支持这款Lucha Fresca饮料。
I do root for you and this lucha fresca drink.
我觉得它听起来很棒。
I think it sounds great.
谢谢。
Thank you.
我很感激。
I appreciate it.
是的。
Yeah.
直到今天，我所做的一切基本上都是出于必要，为了让我到达人生中想要去的下一个位置。
Everything I do to this day is basically out of necessity to get me to the next spot in life where I'm trying to go.
所以我学会了焊接，只是为了制作戒指，还学会了烹饪来出售赚钱，并且
So I've learned how to weld just to build rings and, you know, learn how to cook to sell it, to make money, and
诸如此类的事情。
stuff like that.
你喜欢谁？
Who do you like?
你最喜欢的摔角手是谁？
Who's your favorite wrestler?
大概是米克·弗利和雷·密斯特里奥二世。
Probably Mick Foley and Ray Mysterio Junior.
你特别喜欢他们哪一点？
What did you like about them particularly?
米克·弗利是硬核传奇。
Mick Foley is the hardcore legend.
他为了摔角事业奉献了整个身体，
He just gives up his whole body to the business and
嗯哼。
Mhmm.
他竭尽所能去产生影响。
Just does everything he has to to make an impact.
是的。
Yep.
神秘人雷尔对我影响最大，因为我开始成为一名蒙面摔角手，对吧。
Mysterio is the biggest influence for me because I started becoming a luchador Right.
他所能做到的事情激励了我。
Inspired by what he could do.
这让我思考，嗯，我能做到吗？
And that made me think, well, can I do it?
所以二十七年后的答案是肯定的。
So twenty seven years later, the answer is yes.
这难道不有趣吗？
Isn't that it's funny.
你正在谈论摔跤。
You're talking about wrestling.
喜剧其实也是一样的道理。
It's really the same with comedy.
我们 嗯哼。
We Mhmm.
我们从小看着别人长大，会找到那些你想要、你希望去效仿的人。
Grow up seeing people, and you identify people that you wanna you would like to you wanna emulate them.
你就有过这样的经历。
You had that.
对吧，凯文？
Right, Kevin?
是的。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
每个人都是这样。
Everybody does.
你成长过程中有谁（对你影响很大）？
Who who did you have growing up?
我的是三个人。
Mine were three three people.
其中一个是克里斯，真的。
One was Chris, actually.
除了克里斯之外呢？
Besides Chris.
是的。
Yeah.
不是克里斯。
Chris no.
是安迪·考夫曼，没错。
It was Andy Kaufman Yep.
还有阿尔伯特·布鲁克斯和史蒂夫·马丁。
Albert Brooks, and Steve Martin.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
你呢？
And you?
不过你其实没真正说过单口相声吧。
You never really did stand up, though.
没有。
No.
我从来没做过，但是站
I never did But stand
你在你的节目里做过单口喜剧。
you did it monologues on your shows.
是的。
Yeah.
那很好。
That's good.
我之前写下来了。
I'll put down before.
他太棒了。
He's amazing.
你做那些独角戏的时候感觉自在吗？
Did you feel comfortable doing those monologues?
是的。
Yeah.
我确实感觉自在。
I did.
真的吗？
Really?
是的。
Yeah.
哦，好的。
Oh, okay.
纯粹是天赋异禀。
Just cold talent.
克里斯看着这个，就像在看父母吵架一样。
Chris is watching this like watching his parents fight.
是的。
Yeah.
克里斯，对此我非常抱歉。
I'm very sorry about this, Chris.
是的。
Yeah.
我也有过同样的经历。
I had the same thing.
是史蒂夫·马丁，还有阿尔伯特·布鲁克斯。
It was Steve Martin, and I mean, also Albert Brooks.
我是说，看他的电影，看他在《今夜秀》上的表演，那真的启发了我。
I mean, watching his films, watching the stuff that he would do on The Tonight Show, that really inspired me.
这种概念性喜剧，真的让我大开眼界。
This conceptual comedy, that blew me away.
当然还有巨蟒剧团，当他们的节目第一次出现在我的电视上时，简直让我震惊不已。
And of course, Python, when Python finally showed up on my television, that blew my mind.
还有SCTV。
SCTV.
好吧，我本来只是想问问关于喜剧演员的事，不过没关系。
Well, I was basically just asking about comics, but okay.
好的。
Okay.
那么，我们还是专注于我不太
Well, let's keep it to the I don't
想听历史课，我忘了
really want a history I forgot
你当时有多狭隘。
how narrow you were.
对不起。
I'm sorry.
喜剧的历史。
History of comedy.
不。
No.
不。
No.
你知道，我喜欢，我喜欢，比如蒙提·派森，而且我喜欢，你知道，我喜欢
You know, I like I like, you know, a Monty Python, and I like, you know, I like
哦，一个
Oh, a
有点偏离轨道。
bit off a bit.
稍微有点偏离轨道。
Little bit off a bit.
我的意思是，顺便说一下，现在。
Mean, by the way, now.
哦，是的。
Oh, yeah.
我确实很喜欢
I do like a lot
它。
of it.
有点
A bit
偏离了一点。
off a bit.
我们批评的是我们自己。
We criticize what we are.
好的。
Okay.
好吧，听着。
Well, listen.
克里斯托弗，这很不寻常。
Christopher, it's very unusual.
我和粉丝交谈时，凯文从没在这里过，我们只试过一次。
I've never had Kevin here when I talk to a fan, and we've tried this once.
我们不会再这样做了。
We won't do it again.
反正不是和柯南一起。
Not with Conan anyway.
从现在起，就只是凯文了。
It's just gonna be Kevin from now on.
但我理解你可能有个问题。
But I understand you might have a question.
是这样吗？
Is that right?
如果你和凯文组成一个双打组合，你们的角色或名字会是什么？
If you were a tag team, you and Kevin, what would be your characters or your names?
这很有趣。
That's interesting.
哦，是的。
Oh, yeah.
所以我们是一个团队。
So we're a team.
阿米巴原虫。
The Amoebas.
阿米巴原虫。
The Amoebas.
因为我们差不多说对了，是吧？
Because we're kind of right?
是的。
Yeah.
我们非常相似。
We're very similar.
然后我们可以是变形虫，必须一起进入擂台，某种程度上纠缠在一起，然后我们分开战斗，接着那必须——我有个
And then we could be amoebas where we have to we enter the ring together, sort of enmeshed together, and then we split apart one fight, and then that has to I got a
更好的主意。
better idea.
等等。
Wait.
你是说我不该顺着这个想法继续说下去吗？
Are you saying I shouldn't have run with this idea?
都怪你。
Blame.
我有个更好的主意。
I got a better idea.
变形虫是什么？
What's the amoeba?
连体双胞胎。
The Siamese twins.
我们穿一套服装打斗。
We fight in one costume.
等等。
Wait.
所以我们俩穿一套服装。
So We're both in one costume.
意识。
Mind.
所以另一个就完全不行，一次只能有一个战斗，另一个就只是坐在那里？
And so the other one just doesn't do any well, one of only one can fight at a time, and the other is just is just sitting there?
不对。
No.
他们同时战斗。
They both fight the same time.
我们俩一起战斗。
We both fight.
如果我们连在一起会好很多，但我和克里斯打的时候，你除了东张西望什么都不做。
We It's got much better if we're attached, but when I'm fighting Chris, you're just doing nothing but looking around.
一如既往。
As always.
是的。
And yeah.
而且，差不多是的。
And and kinda yeah.
你只是不活跃。
You're just inert.
然后当我标记你时，你切换，我转到后方。
And then when I tag you, you switch, and I I swing to the rear.
哦。
Oh.
现在我在你身后，看着人群，然后我...
And now I'm behind you, and I'm looking at the crowd, and What I'm a
克里斯，那招叫什么来着？
move is that called, Chris?
我们管那招叫什么？
What we call that move?
那个小小的绕后？
The little reach around?
是的，就是那样。
It's yeah.
这叫做绕后攻击。
It's called the reach around.
没错。
Yeah.
就是经典的绕后战术。
Called the old reach around.
是的。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
嘿。
Hey.
看。
Look.
他们正在做那个背后伸手的动作。
They're doing the reach around.
柯南和凯文正在做那个背后伸手的动作。
Conan and Kevin are doing the reach around.
你们这些人会立刻完蛋的。
You guys would just be you guys would die instantly.
我觉得你说得对。
I think you're right.
他们会死。
They would die.
你走进拳击台的那一刻，你
The moment that you walk into the ring, you
所有人都会讨厌你。
would everybody would hate you.
他们会
They would
讨厌，因为你们俩会搞太多即兴段子。
hate Because you guys would be doing so many bits.
我们会在咆哮环节里搞即兴段子。
We'd be doing bits in the rant.
我们会一边争论一边搞即兴段子。
We'd be arguing and doing bits.
然后不管谁没在摔跤，另一个就挂在他背上。
And then whichever one wasn't wrestling, the other's just hanging off his back.
在打电话。
On the phone.
在打电话，还在做段子。
On the phone and doing bits.
对。
Yeah.
在打电话买东西。
On the phone buying stuff.
最
The most
遭人痛恨的双人组合。
hated duo in all of wrestling.
是的。
Yeah.
所有人都非常讨厌你们俩。
Everyone hates you guys so much.
我们走出通道时，他们就在喝倒彩。
They booers as we're coming out of the walkway.
你得承认，我们确实会招人恨。
You got to admit, we would be hated.
我们会是很好的反派角色。
We would be good heels.
但在擂台上招人恨是好事，对吧？
But that's good to be hated in the ring, right?
如果你收到很多仇恨，那其实是件好——
If you get a lot of hate coming at you, that's a good-
是的，这说明你的工作做得很到位。
Yeah, you're doing your job properly.
就像这边的康纳一样。
That's like Conan here.
好的。
Okay.
他是
He's
顺便说一句，干得不错。
doing a good job, by the way.
不。
No.
你一点也不酷。
You're not cool.
只是不太酷。
Just not cool.
克里斯，你今晚有什么安排？
Chris, what are you doing tonight?
我要和乐队一起录鼓。
I'm going to record drums with my band.
哦，靠。
Oh, fuck.
哦，跟我们说说你的乐队吧。
Oh, tell us about your band.
我在图森这里加入了一个朋克摇滚乐队，叫做'星球严格九号'，简称PS九号。
I'm in a punk rock band here in Tucson called Planet Strict nine, PS nine.
哦。
Oh.
那太棒了。
That is great.
所以你打鼓吗？
And so you play drums?
我是鼓手，
I'm the drummer,
我们很快就要发行一张唱片了。
and we're gonna put out a record pretty soon.
我刚录了大概20首曲子。
I just recorded, like, 20 tracks.
是那种类似鞭挞金属的风格吗？
Is it kind of like thrash metal?
我们具体在说什么类型的音乐？
What are we talking?
这有多硬核？
How hardcore is this?
有点像坏宗教乐队那种朋克风格，还有像Bouncing Souls那样的乐队。
It's kinda like bad religion and those type of punk bands, bouncing souls.
是的。
Yep.
你们在哪里演出？
You gotta where do you perform?
有时在里亚托剧院，还有这里的191工具店，然后我们通常也会去亚利桑那州的比斯比。
The Rialto Theater sometimes, 191 tool here, and then we usually go to Bisbee, Arizona.
乐队最初就是来自那里。
That's where the band originally was from.
嗯嗯。
Mhmm.
克里斯，这种音乐能跳舞吗？
Chris, is it a a music we could dance to?
你可以跟着跳，但可能会被打到脸。
You could get down to that, but you might get hit in the face.
是的。
Yeah.
我马上就要打他脸了。
I'm about to hit him in the face.
他会被打到脸的。
He's gonna get hit in the face.
这和你的音乐一点关系都没有。
It won't have anything to do with your music.
没有。
No.
我喜欢去里亚尔托跳舞。
I like to go to the Rialto and dance.
是的。
Yeah.
我相信你会的。
I'm sure you do.
哦，天哪。
Oh my god.
如果你们几个
If if you guys
组成一个双打组合，你们俩之间的内斗
were a tag team, you would fight each
会比跟对手打得更凶。
other more than you would fight the other people.
没错。
Yeah.
那个摔跤手，那个摔跤手，那个摔跤手只会一脸懵，等等。
The wrestler the wrestler the wrestler would just be like, wait.
这是怎么回事？
What's going on?
而你和我只会互相猛揍。
And you and I would just be wailing on each other.
穿着同一套服装。
In one in one costume.
穿着同一套服装，为了那个老套的‘背后偷袭’互相痛殴。
In one costume, wailing on each other for the old reach around.
我们各自来一个背后偷袭。
We each reach around.
好吧，克里斯。
Alright, Chris.
我要让你走了，克里斯托弗。
I'm gonna let you go, Christopher.
克里斯托弗·哈克，你是一位绅士，看起来是个非常酷的家伙。
Christopher Hack, you are you're a gentleman, and you seem like a very cool guy.
非常感谢你听我们胡言乱语。
And thank you very much for listening to our nonsense.
是的。
Yeah.
你是个好人。
You're a good man.
我为柯南道歉。
I apologize for Conan.
我为凯文道歉，但我不为你道歉，因为你看起来像个很酷的人。
And I apologize for Kevin, but I don't apologize for you because you seem like a cool guy.
祝你们的乐队好运。
Good luck with the band.
谢谢你的酒。
Thanks some and the drink.
非常感谢。
Thanks so much.
这真是一次愉快的经历。
It was a it was a pleasure.
是的，克里斯。
Yes, Chris.
我只是想宣传一下我的公司。
I just wanna shout out my company.
它叫Rockstar Wrestling Alliance，因为我把音乐和摔跤结合起来。
It's called Rockstar Wrestling Alliance because I do music and wrestling and put it together.
酷。
Cool.
我总是会留点空间来做推广。
Well, I always leave room always leave room for the plug.
卡森教我的。
Carson taught me that.
卡森·达利。
Carson Daly.
嘿，克里斯。
Hey, Chris.
绘画作品。
Paintings.
Kevinnealonart.com。
Kevinnealonart.com.
难以置信。
Unbelievable.
是的。
Yeah.
如果你遇到麻烦，就拨打911。
If you ever have trouble, just dial 911.
好了，伙计。
Alright, man.
保重。
Take care.
再见。
Bye bye.
再见。
Bye bye.
好的。
Cool.
谢谢。
Thank you.
再见。
Bye.
柯南·奥布莱恩需要一位粉丝，与柯南·奥布莱恩、索尼莫夫·塞西安和马特·戈雷利一起。
Conan O'Brien needs a fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonimov Sesian, and Matt Goreley.
由我，马特·戈雷利制作。
Produced by me, Matt Goreley.
执行制片人：亚当·萨克斯、杰夫·罗斯和尼克·廖。
Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao.
配乐：吉米·维维诺。
Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.
吉米，开始吧。
Take it away, Jimmy.
监制：亚伦·布莱尔。
Supervising producer, Aaron Blair.
助理人才制片人，詹妮弗·桑普尔斯。
Associate talent producer, Jennifer Samples.
助理制片人，肖恩·多尔蒂和丽莎·伯姆。
Associate producers, Sean Dougherty and Lisa Berm.
工程由爱德华多·佩雷斯负责。
Engineering by Eduardo Perez.
在 siriusxm.com/conan 注册即可获得 SiriusXM 三个月的免费服务。
Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm.com/conan.
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Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are demoed.
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