威尔·法瑞尔

这是你平时穿的服装吗？

Is this is this an outfit you normally wear?

我说，我不知道该怎么向你解释。

And I go I go, I don't know how to explain this to you.

但不，这就像一个持续很久的笑话。

But, no, this is like a long running joke.

他就像说：

He's like,

这不错，因为这不适合你。

good because it's not a good look for you.

我能看见他那双锐利的眼睛。

And I could see him with those eyes, those piercing eyes.

他给了我一种兄弟般的建议，我说：

He was giving me, like, brotherly advice, and I go

别那样做。

Don't do that.

哦，哦，不。

Oh, oh, no.

我知道这确实不是，但又一次，这变成了一种习惯，哦，我得继续穿它。

I I I know it's not, but I'm But once again, that became a thing where, oh, I gotta keep wearing it.

而且，是的，那一年剩下的时间我都穿着它。

And, yeah, finished out the year wearing the

之后就是杰里·里德了。

Jerry Reed after that.

你还做了一件以前从来没人做过的事，我特别喜欢。

You also did something that no one's ever done before, which I loved.

again, 我在做我的节目。

Again, I'm doing my show.

我确实很喜欢。

I I do I love.

我正试图

I'm trying to

记得它会是什么。

remember what it will be.

我告诉你。

I'll tell you.

是的。

Yes.

我想你会记得的。

I think you will remember.

好的。

Okay.

我在深夜节目上做我的节目，就是在深夜节目上。

I'm doing my show down on late night and, at the late night show.

而且，我们仅仅隔了几层楼而已

And, again, we're just a couple of floors away

从六楼。

from 6th Floor.

六楼。

6th Floor.

所以你来找我们，说：我有个有趣的想法，但我觉得他们不喜欢。

And so you you you came to us, and you said, I have a funny idea, and I don't think they like it.

一开始是现场直播，但我可以在你的节目上做。

It's starting out live, but I could do it on your show.

我们说：当然可以。

And we said, sure.

你知道的，我们每晚都做一小时。

And, you know, we're doing an hour a night.

是的。

Yeah.

于是你扮演了一个叫‘Scrub a Dub’的角色。

And so you played a character called Scrub a Dub.

哦，天哪。

Oh, no.

这是由亚当·麦凯写的。

This was this was, written by Adam McKay.

这是由伟大的亚当·麦凯写的。

It was written by Adam McKay, the great Adam McKay.

是的。

Yeah.

但你扮演了Scrubs a Dub这个角色。

But you you played Scrub a Dub.

对。

Right.

而且亚当·麦凯写的。

And Adam McKay wrote it.

是的。

Yeah.

所以你们来找我们，你们俩都是，嗯。

And so you guys came to us, was both of you Mhmm.

然后说，我们能在你的节目里演吗？

And said, can we do it on your show?

我们当时就想，有人跟你说，你想买一辆布加迪吗？

And we were like, you know, it it was someone saying, do you want a Bugatti?

是的。

Yes.

是的。

Yes.

我们想要一辆布加迪。

We want a Bugatti.

你们来了，演了Scrub a Dub，这很难形容，但他就像个洁厕灵。

You guys came and Scrub a Dub, it's hard to describe, but he's like a mister clean.

烦人的洁厕灵。

Obnoxious mister clean.

他是个失控的、烦人的洁厕灵。

He's an obnoxious mister Clean who's out of control.

是的。

Yeah.

这是一个小品，我们很快就会有一个网站，你可以在那里以高分辨率查看所有旧内容。

And it was a sketch where we're gonna have a website soon where you can look up all the old stuff in in high resolution.

这个

This

但那就像你们节目里一直播放的广告。

is But it was kinda like a running ad throughout your show.

那是一个持续播放的广告。

It was a running ad.

持续直播广告。

Kept Live ad.

你一直打断我，我就继续往下说。

You kept interrupting, and I would move on.

你会说‘我是Scrub a Dub’，而且我觉得你当时是秃头，肌肉发达。

You'd say, I'm scrub a dub, and you were I think you were bald, you had muscular Muscular.

清洁先生，是的。

Mister clean Yep.

服装。

Outfit.

对。

Yep.

然后我会说，好的。

And then I would say, okay.

嗯，那太棒了。

Well, that's great.

擦洗擦洗。

Scrub a dub.

然后我就会继续，而你会待在角落里玩骰子游戏，是的。

And I would move on, and then you'd be in the corner, and you'd be playing craps Yeah.

用骰子玩，然后你会大喊，来吧。

With a die with dice, And you'd be yelling, come on.

来吧。

Come on.

看。

Look.

做我的

Be my

今晚的女士。

lady tonight.

擦洗搓洗。

Scrub a dub.

如果你一直这样，事情就变暴力了。

And it you kept it got violent.

是的。

Yep.

事情失去了控制。

It got out of control.

有一刻你正在喷漆，你喷到了布景上。

At one point of spray painting on your on the You were spray the set.

你当时在喷漆。

You were spray painting.

你一直打断我。

You kept interrupting.

是的。

Yeah.

这件事有个很棒的地方。

So here's the great thing about it.

没人告诉过劳伦。

No one had told Lauren.

没人征得劳伦的同意。

No one had asked Lauren's permission.

因为我们不知道

Because we didn't know

我们什么都不知道。

We didn't know anything.

我们都是孩子。

We're all kids.

是的。

Yeah.

我们都是孩子。

We're all kids.

我们都只是在做，这挺有趣的。

And we're all just doing, well, this is funny.

他们不会在《周六夜现场》做这种事，所以我们在这里做。

They wouldn't do it on Saturday Night Live, so we'll do it here.

我们就把它简化了。

We'll just bring it down.

接下来，我们接到了洛恩的电话，他是我们节目的执行制片人。

So the next thing, we get this call from Lorne, who's executive producing our show.

是的。

Yeah.

但他不知道这一点，当然。

But he doesn't know that Sure.

我们只是接到一个电话，意思是，你知道的，如果你要用我的人，至少该通知我一下，我想你得被训斥一番。

We just get this call, which is like, you know, if you're going to use my people, would you let me and I think you got a talking to

是的。

Yeah.

我也被训了。

I did too.

你被训了，我想亚当·麦凯也被训了，就是那种，你知道的，不行。

You got a talking to, and I think Adam McKay got a talking too, which was, you know, no.

不行。

No.

不行。

No.

不。

No.

不。

No.

不。

No.

不。

No.

不。

No.

但我们当时完全就是觉得，哦，他们在这里不想用它。

But we were just completely like, well, oh, they don't wanna use it here.

我们干脆给科南打个电话吧。

Let's just well, let's call up Conan

是的。

Yeah.

还有他的人。

And his guys.

这就引发了一种现象，我从粉丝那里听到最一致的评价是，你的出场总是那些富有概念性的、富有思想性的喜剧片段。

And that started this thing where the most consistent thing I hear from fans is that your appearances were always these conceptual thought pieces, comedy pieces

嗯。

Mhmm.

你全情投入，而你的投入让我也跟着投入。

That where you would commit and your commitment would make me commit.

我从不会说这是个段子。

I would never say this is a bit.

对。

Right.

所以有一次，你扔出了一个非常复杂的预先录制片段。

So so there's the time you threw a very complicated pretapes.

你调侃了自己。

You heckled yourself.

扮演一个留着胡子、戴着迈克尔·杰克逊手套的人。

Playing a guy with a mustache and a Michael Jackson glove.

是的。

Yeah.

还穿着一件迈克尔·杰克逊的夹克。

And a Michael Jackson jacket.

夹克太小了。

Jacket that was too small.

所以你出来和法瑞尔一起尝试单口喜剧。

So you came out to try stand up with Farrell.

然后镜头切到你留着胡子的样子。

And then we cut to you with a mustache.

自己吐槽自己。

Heckling myself.

是的。

Yeah.

自己嘲讽自己。

Heckling yourself.

对。

Yep.

然后嘲讽声插在你们两人之间，你说：嘿。

And then the heckling gets between the two of you, and you say, hey.

我只是想做点事情。

I'm just trying to do something here.

然后你作为你自己，表现得像个十足的混蛋，不停地用手指擦胡子，指着它，表现得特别讨人厌。

And then you as yourself being a total dick, and you kept kept wiping the mustache with your finger and gesturing to it and being a total prick.

然后你冲向了自己。

And then you charged yourself.

观众们都想：这事儿怎么发展下去？

And everyone in the audience was like, well, how's this gonna happen?

因为观众里的那个人是提前录好的。

Because the guy in the audience is a pretape.

哦，对了。

Oh, that's right.

那你们俩该怎么互动呢？

That's How are you two gonna interface?

然后我们切到一个你坚持要用替身的场景，是个穿着迈克尔·杰克逊外套的小个子，你却忘了这一点。

And then we cut to a you insisted on a body double And was a little person in a Michael Jack forgot that.

穿着迈克尔·杰克逊的外套，对吧。

In a Michael Jackson jacket Right.

他扑向你。

Who tackles you.

于是真正的你突然出现。

So suddenly the real Meets me up.

然后揍了你一顿。

And beats you up.

这和你一点都对不上。

It doesn't match you in any way.

无论以何种方式或形式。

In any way, shape, or form.

感谢你深夜的节目，因为那简直就是喜剧天堂，我知道还有其他脱口秀也很不错。

Thank god for your late night show because that was like that was like comedy heaven where I knew there were other talk shows that were, you know, very lovely to do.

是的。

Yep.

然而，它们都有自己的固定规则，规定哪些内容可以做，而你们总是说：我们来试试吧。

However, they had their set rules as to what they were comfortable doing, and you guys were always like, let's do it.

我们来尝试一下。

Let's try.

对。

Yeah.

有一次你

There was there was one where you

我们曾有过一场打鼓表演，我想展示我的鼓技，对手是个九岁的孩子，其实他十一岁左右。

We had the drum off where I I wanted to, show off my drumming against a nine year old kid who was a nine or two he was like 11.

他当时十一岁。

He was an 11.

是的。

Yeah.

但他是个非常棒的鼓手，而我不会打鼓，他简直让我佩服得五体投地，于是我把他赶下了舞台。

But a really good drummer, and I can't play, and he blows me away, and I chase him off the set.

对。

Yeah.

我的意思是，我曾经参加过查理·罗斯的节目，他问我关于深夜电视和各种脱口秀的事。

I mean, that was, I was once doing Charlie Rose, and he was asking about doing late night TV and all the talk shows.

我当时真的开始毫不掩饰地说：‘这个节目真有意思。’

And I'd literally started going down, like, just unabashedly going, oh, this one's fun.

你知道，总是做莱特曼的节目。

You know you know, always doing Letterman.

这真是太酷了。

It's it's such a cool thing.

但毫无疑问，科南是最好的。

But but hands down, Conan is the best.

查理·罗斯说：小心点。

Charlie Rose went, careful.

小心点。

Careful.

他其实不希望我偏袒任何一方，但我就是觉得，

Like, he didn't want me to play favorites anyway, but I'm like,

我的意思是，他真的是

I mean, he's the

我明白他是在努力不让我说错话。

and I I saw he was he was trying to not let me put my foot in my mouth.

但你们当时是，

But, no, you guys were

时间证明了他的判断是最正确的。

Time has proven that his judgment was best.

是的。

Yes.

对。

Right.

你知道的，我们必须和Kaboom一起做。

You know we have to with Kaboom.

我们必须短暂休息一下。

We have to take a quick, break.

马上回来。

We'll be right back.

现在是名为《康南·奥布莱恩还清他海滨别墅的抵押贷款》的环节。

And now it's time for a segment called Conan O'Brien pays off the mortgage on his beach house.

好。

Yeah.

我们以前说过，但我当初贷了一笔很大的抵押贷款，然后我又用这笔贷款做抵押借款，接着又贷了另一笔抵押贷款。

We've been over this before, but I, took a pretty large mortgage, and then I borrowed against the mortgage, and then I took another mortgage.

从财务上看，这不是个明智的决定。

Financially, not the smartest move.

这听起来像是很多糟糕的决定。

That sounds like a lot of bad decisions.

是的。

Yeah.

但如果这让我能读广告，也许它指引我找到了人生真正的使命。

But if it's enabled me to, read ads, then maybe it's led me to my true calling in life.

你不这么认为吗？

Don't you think?

你觉得读广告才是你真正的使命？

You think ad reading is your true calling?

这可能是我唯一擅长的事情。

It might be the only thing I do well.

好吧。

Okay.

我决定了。

I decided.

然后我们就回来了。

And then we're back.

就这样。

Just like that.

是的。

Yeah.

我们什么都没做。

We did nothing.

那是个不错的休息。

That was a good break.

我们刚才谈的是你的投入程度。

Your level of commitment was what we were talking about.

我告诉人们，等等。

And I tell people that Wait.

回来。

Back.

抱歉。

Sorry.

是的。

Yeah.

回到罗恩·伯金迪。

Back to Ron Burgundy

对。

Yes.

在这场现场慈善演出中。

At this live charity show.

是的。

Yeah.

我之前没告诉你这个细节，因为杰瑞·塞infeld当时作为我们节目的嘉宾进行脱口秀表演，我遇到了他的长期经纪人乔治·夏皮罗。

I I didn't tell you about this component because, Jerry Seinfeld was doing stand up as part of our show, and I ran into his longtime manager, George Shapiro.

夏皮罗。

Shapiro.

是的。

Yeah.

他对杰里如何被介绍有非常固定的要求，不希望太多花哨的介绍，只想要‘女士们先生们，杰里·塞infeld’，而且他必须有一把凳子，你知道的，是的。

And he has very set rules as to how Jerry likes to be introduced and doesn't want a lot of, they just want, ladies and gentlemen, Jerry Seinfeld, and he has to have a stool and, you know Yeah.

每个喜剧演员都有自己特定的要求，希望事情以某种特定方式进行。

Every comedian has their particular things that they they want a certain way.

于是他对我说：‘嘿，威尔。’

And so he was like, he was like Hey, Will.

是的。

Yeah.

罗恩·伯金迪。

Ron Burgundy.

我喜欢这个。

I love it.

而且，你知道的，要简短一点。

It's gonna and and, you know, keep it short.

我当时就想，你得跟罗恩·巴金迪说这个。

And I was like, well, you gotta tell that to Ron Burgundy.

然后我能看出来，他听得头都晕了，因为我知道我们为杰瑞准备了这个疯狂的、以罗恩为风格的开场白。

And then I could tell it made his head spin in such a way because I knew we had this crazy intro for Jerry as Ron that

他，是的。

he Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

幸运的是，杰瑞觉得这特别好笑。

And, luckily, Jerry thought it was really funny.

我站在后台，因为我们刚演完我们的段子。

I was backstage because we had just finished our bit.

我站在后台，等着杰瑞上台。

I'm standing backstage and when Jerry is about to go on.

是的。

Yes.

所以我站在这里，只是因为我想看看，你知道的，你

And so I was standing here because I'm just, you know, interested to see and you

过渡。

the transition.

对。

Yeah.

你知道，观众对科南很兴奋，然后又得安静下来等待杰瑞。

And, you know, the crowd excited about Conan and then just sort of having to settle down for Jerry.

对。

Yeah.

你知道吧？

You know?

杰瑞被请上来是为了在科南之后稍微降温，这通常是他的角色。

Well, Jerry was brought in to cool it off a little bit after Conan, which is generally his role.

我们关闭了节目

Well, we shut the show down

是的。

Yeah.

为了降温。

To cool it down.

是的。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

不管怎样，杰瑞进场时，观众们正陆续离场。

Anyway, so Jerry comes in and, you know, crowd's filing out.

我

I

听说他在商业上并没有那么大的影响力。

don't he's not I'm told he's not that powerful in business.

我就要去找他。

I'm just gonna go after him.

他不会。

He's not.

他不行。

He he can't.

他伤不了你。

He can't hurt you.

是的。

Yeah.

他做不到。

He can't.

没人能，但他能伤害

No one can He can hurt

很多人。

a lot of people.

我们不会伤害你。

We can't hurt you.

不。

No.

不。

No.

我身处一个非常小的

I'm in a very small

那个人。

the man.

不是那个被他的费尔尼毯子保护着的主要人物。

Not the main man protected by his Fernie blankets.

所以，但是，是的，你一直说个不停，开始列举他的履历，包括你曾在阿森尼奥·霍尔秀上见过他。

So, but, yeah, you go on and on and on, and you start listing his credits, which includes you've seen him on the Arsenio Hall show.

这是给杰里·赛恩菲尔德的。

This is for Jerry Seinfeld

从是的开始。

from Yeah.

你从《阿森尼奥·霍尔秀》认识他。

You know him from Arsenio Hall.

是的。

Yeah.

《魔术师约翰逊访谈秀》。

The Magic Johnson talk show.

你从《宋飞正传》重播中认识他。

You know him from the Seinfeld show reruns.

你你你听当地联播台。

You you you listen to the local affiliate.

是的。

Yeah.

总之，他在后台，笑得前仰后合，真的笑得很开心。

Anyway, he was backstage, and he was howling, which was he was really laughing.

他给我写了一封特别好的信，是的。

He he wrote me a really nice yeah.

他说他玩得很开心，我说谢谢你陪罗恩聊了这么久，他回答：哦，是的。

He said he had a great time and, and I'm like, thanks for indulging Ron with the long he's like, oh, yeah.

我非常喜欢。

I loved it.

但不管怎样。

But anyway.

你和我有一些共同点。

You and I have something in common.

我们都一样。

We both Same.

我们生日相同。

We share the same birthday.

不。

No.

我们没有。

We don't.

没有。

No.

没有。

No.

我们没有。

We don't.

抱歉。

Sorry.

你继续说。

Go ahead.

我刚才兴奋了一下，但我从来没在我去Denny's吃免费蛋糕的那天见过你。

I got excited for a second, but I've never seen you at Denny's for the free cake on the day I'm there.

你总是去Denny's。

You're always there at Denny's.

对吧？

Right?

你说得对。

You're right.

是的。

Yeah.

为了免费的蛋糕？

For the free cake?

当我能拿到免费蛋糕的时候？算了吧。

When I when I can get a free cake Forget it.

我，我当时在禁足。

I, I was in the groundings.

对。

Right.

在你之前我就在禁足了。

I was in the groundings before you.

你和丽莎·库卓是同时代的人。

You were a contemporary of Lisa Kudrow's.

丽莎·库卓。

Lisa Kudrow.

或者应该说

Or shall

我说她是你的同辈？

I say she was of of you?

这毫无意义。

That means nothing.

所以你要先去上课。

So you start by taking the classes.

是的。

Yes.

这就是在洛杉矶的地面剧团发生的事情。

That's what happens at the groundlings here in Los Angeles.

你去上课。

You take the classes.

这些课程的名字真的很酷。

They have really cool names.

初级、中级和高级。

Beginning, intermediate, and advanced.

所以

So

我一直觉得特别搞笑的是，丽莎特别搞笑，有些人有时认为他们在地面剧团让学员重复练习只是为了多赚点钱。

what I've always thought was hilarious was Lisa was so hysterically funny, and some people have sometimes thought they sometimes make people repeat at the groundlings just to get but, you know, we'll make a little more money.

嗯嗯。

Uh-huh.

你知道吗？

You know?

所以丽莎特别搞笑，我记得他们跟丽莎说

So there was Lisa was just hilarious, and they were I remember them telling Lisa

她得重修。

She had to repeat.

你应该再上一次这门课。

You should, you should take this class again.

你得继续练习，我觉得再来一轮，大概就是再多付一轮费用吧。

You gotta keep working on I just think one more and, basically, it was like, you know, one more round of payments maybe.

是的。

Yeah.

真正提升你的喜剧技巧。

Really improve your comedy chops.

太好笑了。

That's hilarious.

对。

Yeah.

她和我那时同时在那里。

She and I were there, at the same time.

我实际上从未加入过基础班，因为我离开去写《周六夜现场》了，但我上了所有的课程。

I didn't actually ever join the groundings because I left to write at Saturday Night Live, but I did all the classes.

你全程都上了吗？你去看过周日的演出吗？

You went all the way did you go to the Sunday show?

我正要去周日的演出，但那时不得不离开。

Was about to go to the Sunday show when I had to leave.

是的。

Yeah.

为了获得有报酬的工作。

For gainful employment.

为了获得有报酬的工作。

For gainful employment.

而不是花钱上台表演。

Rather than pay to be on stage.

我得到了报酬。

I was paid.

和任何来自芝加哥第二城市剧院的人聊天真有趣。

So funny to talk to anyone who'd come from Second City in Chicago.

他们总是问：你在‘咆哮’演出赚了多少钱？

They were like, how much did you make at the Growling?

所以我只能说：不是这样的。

So I'm like, no.

你得自己付钱才能演出。

You had to pay Yeah.

在那里表演是要付钱的。

To perform there.

是的。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

而当你登上主舞台时，终于不用再付钱了。

And then when you were on the main stage, you finally didn't have to pay.

我没赚到任何钱。

I I didn't make any money.

是的。

Yeah.

没有。

No.

我认为关键是，第二城市他们提供饮品

They I think the key is that, Second City, I think they serve drinks

嗯。

Uh-huh.

他们还提供食物，大堂里还能买T恤。

And they serve food, and you can buy t shirts in the lobby.

你实际上可以

You can actually

地面动物从未做到这一点。

The Groundlings never cracked that.

不。

No.

不。

No.

但我做过，后来我听说了你的事。

But I did that, and I remember hearing about you later on.

我记得在The Groundlings听说过你，说你是个特别搞笑的人。

I remembered hearing about you at the Groundlings as this incredibly funny guy.

我妹妹。

My sister

对。

Right.

对。

Right.

简在The Groundlings，她说那里有人总是夸你。

Jane was at the Groundling, and she said there's this she would rave about you.

我说从听起来

And I said from the

多亏了简。

Thanks to Jane.

是的。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

我当时说，听上去他根本没有那回事。

I said from the sound of it, he doesn't have it is what I said at the time.

我当时非常防御。

I was very defensive.

所以是的。

So yeah.

不具竞争力。

Incompetitive.

甚至都不了解我。

Without even knowing me.

我只听到有人说别人很有趣，我就说，听起来一点也不有趣。

All I heard was someone else is funny, and I said, doesn't sound funny to me.

她甚至都没举出任何例子说明你哪里有趣。

And she hadn't even given an example of how you might be funny.

这就足够让我明白了。

That's all I needed to know.

我直接终止了这个话题。

I shut it down.

我觉得这说明了很多关于你的事。

I think that says a lot about you.

我看不出这一点。

I don't see that.

好吧。

Alright.

我只是非常反对，是的。

I just I'm very I root against Yeah.

其他喜剧演员。

Other people in comedy.

这说明了我什么？

What does that say about me?

我知道。

I know.

并不是说你是个

It's not that sound You're an

糟糕的人。

awful human being.

哦。

Oh.

对。

Yes.

哦。

Oh.

是的。

Yeah.

当别人在喜剧领域成功时，我会非常愤怒。

When others succeed in comedy, I'm enraged.

对。

Right.

这不好吗？

Is that not good?

你需要放下这种情绪。

You need to let that go.

我希望你比现在更差。

I want you to do worse than you're doing.

哦。

Oh.

这样我就能对自己感觉好一点。

So I can feel better about me.

对。

Right.

那有什么不对？

What's wrong with that?

你在这档播客里请不到任何人。

You're not gonna get anyone on this podcast.

这肯定没错。

That's for sure.

顺便说一下，我做完这件事后的使命是，绝不建议别人也这么做。

By the way, my crusade after doing this is to tell no one else to do it.

你要说你打算把这推广出去？

You're gonna tell that you're gonna spread that out?

天哪。

Oh my god.

我马上回到老派社交媒体上。

I'm getting right on the old social media.

这就是它的名字吗？

Is that what it's called?

它叫soc。

It's called the soc.

这就是年轻人说的吗？

Is that what the kids are?

我在推特上待了四天。

Was on Twitter for four days

然后就关掉了。

and then shut it down.

你享受这个过程吗？

Did you enjoy it?

我真的变得特别出汗，而且很紧张。

I really I got way too sweaty and nervous.

是的

Yeah.

压力太大了。

It was too much pressure.

是的

Yeah.

是的

Yeah.

我什么都不看

I don't read anything

不。

No.

关于‘不’。

About No.

不。

No.

不。

No.

我对别人对我所做事情的看法不感兴趣，我也是。

I'm not interested in anyone's opinion of what I'm doing Same here.

关于我的工作，不是因为我皮厚，而是因为我太敏感。

About my work, not because I'm thick skinned, because I'm thin skinned.

完全对。

Totally.

我真的不想听到一个匿名的人说，他们没什么可失去的，却说

And I really don't wanna hear an anonymous person say, who has nothing to lose say

嗯，我收到的所有好评。

Well, all the good reviews that I have been forwarded.

我的咳嗽按钮在哪？

Where's my cough button?

嗯，我们没有那个。

Well We don't have that.

是的，我们会获得足够的预算来买一个咳嗽按钮。

Year, we'll get the enough budget for a cough button.

好的。

Okay.

天哪。

Jeez Louise.

哦。

Oh.

你说过

You said

我们将会

We're gonna

不得不剪掉这一整段。

have to edit this whole part.

我我因为这让你显得像个普通人。

I I because this shows you as a human.

总是能得到。

Always get.

我从不看任何评论，你知道的，什么评论都不看。

I don't review read anything, you know, reviews or anything.

对。

Right.

除了那个偶像之类的。

Except for the idol like.

不过你应该看看那一篇。

You should read the one, though.

那是一篇很棒的文章，而且它总是以‘我从来不喜欢这个人’开头。

It's it's a great one, and it inevitably always starts with, I've never liked this guy.

是的。

Yeah.

然而，他却是一个令人惊喜的发现

However, he was a pleasant surprise

是的。

Yes.

在他扮演猫贼的角色时。

In his role as the cat burglar.

嗯。

Mhmm.

索娜，我该读什么？

Sona, what do I read?

什么都不读。

Nothing.

意思是

Mean

小说。

novels.

不。

No.

不。

No.

不。

No.

不。

No.

意思是是的。

Mean yeah.

小说，但只有关于我的才行。

Novels, but only if they're about me.

不。

No.

我会看媒体报道吗？

Do I read any press?

那可能是对你所做之事最赞美的评价。

It could it could be the most glowing review of something you've done.

你不会读它的。

You won't read it.

原因就是，即使它写得再好，是的。

And the reason, even if it's glowing Yep.

那我会找到什么？

Is that what will I find?

如果它很好，你总会找到那一个。

If it's good, it's it it you'll always find the one

不会。

No.

你会找到那一件让你惊讶的事情。

Line You'll find the one thing that makes you go, really?

是的。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

你知道，尽管奥布莱恩有着可怕的幽默感缺失，但他还是设法克服了这一点。

You know, though saddled with, you know, a horrible lack of humor, O'Brien's managed to overcome it.

你知道的，随便吧。

You know, whatever.

然后它继续下去

And then it goes on

还是一样。

the same.

当一部作品表现得特别出色时，差评反而变得有趣了。

Time bad reviews are fun is when something has done really well.

你能感觉到舆论的临界点已经到了，你知道吗？我们曾经收到的一些最棒的评价，就是针对《步兵兄弟》的。

You can tell critical mass is, you know, we some of the most amazing reviews we ever got were were, on Step Brothers.

是的。

Yeah.

所以我们当时就觉得，哦，这部作品正好击中了所有要点，我们确实做了一部好作品。

So we were already feeling like, oh, this is this is hitting all the right spots, and we've we've made something good.

最好的是罗杰·伊伯特的评论，他说：无论你做什么，都不要看这部电影。

And the best one was Roger Ebert, and the review was like, whatever you do, do not see this movie.

哦，天哪。

Oh, wow.

别告诉你的朋友。

Do not tell your friends about it.

等它出DVD时，别去买。

Do not buy it when it comes out on DVD.

我觉得他 literally 写道：这种创意项目竟然能得到支持，这简直是末日的征兆。

And I think he literally wrote, like, this is, like, the sign of the end times that this kind of creative venture is being supported.

这简直是幼稚到极点，他整个人都在说：我为什么？人们为什么要做这种东西？

It is juvenile ass like, everything he he's just like and you just like, I why do people why are they making this?

读的时候，感觉就像个老头在说话。

And it was just old man voice as you read it.

我们当时就想：哦，这真是太棒了。

And, and we were like, oh, that's so nice.

因为你觉得，我们觉得有安全感。

Because you felt Because we felt secure.

很好。

Good.

没错。

Exactly.

太离谱了。

So off.

而且它只是

And it was

太离谱了，但只有在有安全感的情况下，我们才会去读它们。

so off, but it was only out of security could we read them.

如果我加倍投入或坚定地支持某件事，我会很高兴。

I am happy if I've doubled down or committed to something.

你提到了汤姆·吉安尼斯。

You mentioned Tom Giannis.

汤姆·吉安尼斯帮助指导了

Tom Giannis helped direct

编剧、导演。

Writer, director.

是的。

Yeah.

一部我早在1988年在芝加哥做的节目。

A show in Chicago that I did way back in 1988.

你那时候可能还没出生呢。

You probably weren't born yet.

哦，和奥登克irk以及斯米格尔一起的。

Oh, with Odenkirk and Smigel.

斯米格尔。

Smigel.

非常开心、很棒的节目。

Happy happy good show.

我们在芝加哥做了一场舞台剧，我经常扮演一个角色。

We did this stage show in Chicago, and I used to do a character.

我会让鲍勃出场，非常隆重地，鲍勃·奥登克尔会庄重地告诉观众，康纳通过即兴表演在塑造一个角色，他马上就要出场了，要表演他的角色。

I would have Bob go out and very pompously Bob Odenkirk would go out and pompously tell the crowd that thing of Conan, through improv, is working on a character, and he is going to come out now, and he's going to do his character.

这是一个非常丰富的角色，你们可以向他提问，我们一起进一步丰富这个角色。

And it's a very rich character, and you're to ask him questions, and we're all gonna build the character some more together.

而这正是因为，你知道，这真的很有前景，是的。

And it was this very because this is how, you know, this really promising Yeah.

这发生在芝加哥，而芝加哥是即兴表演的发源地，简直是圣地。

And this is it's in Chicago, which is the birth you know, it's improv, and they're really The Mecca.

通过你们的提问，你们会看到康纳在舞台上为他的角色增添更多深度。

And they're gonna and so by your questions, you'll see Conan on stage add more depth to his character.

女士们先生们，请欢迎勺子眼。

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Spoon Eye.

我出场时，眼睛里插着一把勺子，说话还带着海盗口音。

And I came out, and I had a spoon wedged in my eye, and I talk like a pirate.

于是我喊道：‘啊哈，我是勺子眼。’

And I go, argh, I'm Spoon Eye.

我是勺子眼。

I am Spoon Eye.

观众们试图帮我

And people were trying to help me

对。

Right.

对。

Right.

在观众席里。

In the crowd.

于是他们向我提问，我们一起丰富这个角色。

So they would, questions for me, and we'll build the character c.

勺子眼IB。

Spoon Eye IB.