在苏格兰冻死（对话）

大家好，我亲爱的学员们，欢迎收听《轻松英语故事》，这个播客将帮助你的英语从一般提升到良好，再从良好提升到优秀。

Hello, my lovely learners, and welcome to Easy Stories in English, the podcast that will take your English from okay to good and from good to great.

我是你们的主持人阿里尔·古德贝迪。

I am Ariel Goodbody, your host for this show.

今天的节目是一场关于我表亲在爱丁堡的婚礼、我的日语考试，以及伦敦旅游业的对话。

Today's episode is a conversation about my cousin's wedding in Edinburgh, my Japanese exam, and tourism in London.

和往常一样，文本稿和PDF文件可在easystoriesinenglish.com上获取，链接请见简介。

As always, the transcript and PDF are available at easystoriesinenglish.com, and you can find the link to that in the description.

所以，是的，就像开始一份新工作、去剑桥参加派对、准备搬去中国还不够似的，几个周末前，我还乘坐了四个半小时的火车，从伦敦前往苏格兰首府爱丁堡，参加我表亲的婚礼。

So, yes, as if starting a new job, going to a party in Cambridge, and preparing to move to China weren't enough, a few weekends ago, I also took the four and a half hour train from London to Edinburgh, the capital of Scotland, for my cousin's wedding.

去年我姐姐结婚时，我已经聊了很多关于婚礼的话题。

Now I talked a lot about weddings last year when there was my sister's wedding.

我有一个大家庭。

I have a big family.

我妈妈有七个兄弟姐妹。

My mom has seven siblings.

嗯，按欧洲标准来说已经算很大的了。

Well, it's big by European standards anyway.

所以我对婚礼很期待，但我也很累。

So I was excited for the wedding, but I was also tired.

去那里的路上我精疲力尽，压力很大。

I was so exhausted going up there and stressed.

所以关键背景是。

So key context.

我小时候，爱丁堡是学生们的热门城市，但并不是一个特别热门的旅游目的地。

Edinburgh, when I was growing up, was a popular city for students, but it wasn't this really popular tourist destination.

如今，每年举办的爱丁堡边缘艺术节——作为爱丁堡艺术节的一部分，这是一个大型的戏剧与艺术节——爱丁堡边缘艺术节，作为艺术节的戏剧部分，规模不断扩大，很可能已成为世界上最知名的艺术与戏剧节之一，甚至可能是最知名的。

Now every year, the Edinburgh Fringe, which is part of the Edinburgh Festival, which is this big arts and theater festival, the Edinburgh Fringe, which is the theater side of the festival, has grown and grown and grown and is probably one of the most well known arts and theater festivals in the world, if not the most well known.

与此同时，我认为，得益于社交媒体，以及坦率地说，气候变化，爱丁堡已被公认为一个非常酷的旅游目的地，人们可以逃离炎热天气，享受小城市环境，同时欣赏美丽的风景与建筑，感受苏格兰的历史。

Alongside that, I think with social media and, to be honest, climate change, Edinburgh has become recognized as a very cool tourist destination to escape the hot weather, to enjoy, like, a small city environment while still seeing beautiful history and architecture and getting a taste of Scottish history.

总而言之，我小时候去爱丁堡时，那里并不拥挤，但现在想在夏天去爱丁堡并预订酒店简直是一场噩梦。

All that is to say, when I was a kid and we went to Edinburgh, it was not that busy, but now trying to visit Edinburgh in the summer and book a hotel is a nightmare.

酒店价格昂贵，几乎一上线就被抢光，整个城镇也挤满了游客。

The hotels are so expensive, they get snapped up almost immediately, and generally, the town is just heaving with tourists.

我父母有一辆房车，也就是美国人说的RV（休闲车）。

Now my parents have a camper van, or as they say in America, an RV, a recreational vehicle.

于是他们决定开车过去，住在露营地。

So they decided to drive up and stay in a campsite.

他们说：‘你为什么不跟我们一起来呢？’

And they said, well, why don't you join us?

你可以睡单人帐篷，然后我们在露营地一起共享一些空间。

You can camp in a one man tent, and then we can, you know, share some space at the campsite.

于是我决定这么做。

So I decided to do that.

我决定和父母一起去露营。

I decided to go camping with my parents.

但问题是，我的想法是：英国是个小国家。

Now the problem with that is my mindset was The UK is a small country.

与法国甚至美国等国家相比，我们的生物多样性以及气候变化范围并不大。

We don't have a huge range of biodiversity and changes in climate compared to even, say, France, but certainly not compared to countries such as America.

所以，最近几周在伦敦，气温一直维持在25到32摄氏度之间。

So, okay, the last few weeks in London, it's been, like, 25 to 32 degrees.

因此，在爱丁堡，气温大概会是宜人而舒适的22到23摄氏度左右。

So in Edinburgh, it's probably gonna be a lovely, balmy, but comfortable 23, 22 degrees at the least.

我错得离谱。

How wrong I was.

我从伦敦的酷热32摄氏度直接来到了爱丁堡的16摄氏度，我根本忘了该怎么打包和穿衣应对这种天气。

I went from a sweltering 32 degrees in London to 16 degrees in Edinburgh, and I didn't remember, first of all, I didn't remember how to pack or dress for that kind of weather.

伦敦已经好几个月没这么冷过了，我在热浪中完全想不起来。

It's been months since we've had that coldness here in London, and I couldn't remember in the middle of a heat wave.

天冷的时候该穿什么？

Like, what do you wear when it's cold?

帽子是什么？

Like, what's a hat?

围巾是什么？

What's a scarf?

我不知道这些东西是什么。

I don't know what these things are.

我还忘记了苏格兰的寒冷有多不一样，因为爱丁堡的气温不只是16度。

And I also had forgotten just how different Scottish cold hits because Edinburgh didn't just have 16 degrees.

在伦敦，16度可能还挺暖和的。

16 degrees in London can be pretty warm.

感觉可能挺接近的。

It can be pretty close.

不。

No.

在爱丁堡，天气阴沉、有风，还下着雨。

In Edinburgh, it's cloudy and it's windy and it's raining.

在爱丁堡露营时16度完全是另一回事。

16 degrees camping in Edinburgh is a different beast.

所以自然地，我没带够保暖的衣服。

So naturally, I didn't bring enough warm clothes.

到了那里后我慌了。

I panicked when I got there.

因为我压力太大，见到父母时，我一下子哭了出来，说我没有足够的保暖衣服。

And because I was so stressed, the first thing that happened when I saw my parents was I burst into tears and said, I don't have enough warm clothes.

我没有好好准备。

I didn't I didn't prepare properly.

我正在为去中国做准备，但手忙脚乱。

I'm struggling to get everything ready for China.

我有点崩溃了。

I had a little breakdown.

我哭了一场，但这样挺好。

I had a little cry, but that was good.

我把压力发泄出来了。

I got the stress out.

而且，是的，那晚在爱丁堡，哦，天哪。

And, yes, that first night in Edinburgh, oh, mama.

在爱丁堡的第一个晚上，我冷得要命，因为风直接吹透了我的帐篷。

That first night in Edinburgh, I was cold because the wind cut right through my tent.

我穿着全套衣服躺在睡袋里，冻得发抖，夜里不断被冷醒。

I was lying fully dressed in my sleeping bag, freezing, and I kept waking up in the night from the cold.

所以第二天，我们出去购物了。

So the next day, we went out and did some shopping.

我们买了些暖和的衣服，因为我的父母在婚礼后，居然还要在苏格兰四处旅行，尽管他们之前说了那么多关于寒冷的事。

We bought some warmer clothes because my parents, after the wedding, were going traveling around Scotland, believe it or not, after saying that much about the cold.

我们需要为我们所有人买些保暖的衣服。

We needed to buy some warm clothes for all of us.

于是我买了一件大大的毛衣。

So I got a nice big sweater.

那天晚上，第二个晚上，我穿着毛衣睡觉，戴着我新买的毛衣，还戴上了这顶毛茸茸的羊毛帽。

That night, the second night, I wore a jumper to bed, I wore my new jumper to bed, and I wore this furry woolen hat.

如果你听了上周的节目，就会知道这顶帽子是我参加国王活动、剑桥派对时戴的，所以我真的是穿着睡袋、套着厚毛衣、戴着这顶羊毛帽。

Now if you listen to last week's episode, this is the hat I wore to King's affair, the party in Cambridge, so I was literally in my sleeping bag wearing a thick jumper and this woolen hat.

我来为那些看不到的人做一些ASMR声音。

I'll just do some ASMR for those of you who can't see.

希望这能有所帮助。

Hopefully that helps.

我 literally 穿着睡袋，戴着毛衣、长裤和帽子，刚好够暖和。

I was literally lying in my sleeping bag with a jumper, trousers, and a hat on, and I was just warm enough.

我刚好够暖和。

I was just warm enough.

但另一件事是，在经历了数周的热浪之后，我的身体终于适应了伦敦的炎热。

But the other thing is, after weeks of heat waves, my body had finally adapted to the heat in London.

所以突然来到这么冷的天气，我的身体完全无法适应，寒冷直接穿透了我。

So going up and having this cold weather, my body didn't know how to handle it, and it really just cut through me.

最近，我买了一个健身手环。

Now recently, I got this fitness band.

它叫Whoop，就是whoop whoop那种。

It's called Whoop, like whoop whoop.

我朋友送我的，因为他换了新款。

My friend gave me his old one because he got a newer model.

它有点像Apple Watch或健身手表，只是没有屏幕，只追踪你的心率、压力和其他各种指标，而且不会打扰你，还能与手机同步。

It's a bit like an Apple Watch or a fitness watch, except it doesn't have a screen, it just tracks your heart rates and strain and all of those metrics, but without distracting you and it syncs up to your phone.

所以它对我来说简直完美，因为我并不想要智能手表带来的那些干扰。

So it's actually perfect for me because I don't want any of those distractions that come with a smartwatch.

我只想追踪我的健身数据。

I just want to track my fitness.

去爱丁堡后，我看到我的皮肤温度在第一天下降了大约两度，这挺有趣的。

And it was very funny to see, after going to Edinburgh, the temperature of my skin dropped by like two degrees on that first day.

但我也睡得特别好。

But also, I slept really well when I was there.

我想是因为身处大自然、露营的缘故，但其实我知道，在寒冷环境中睡觉对身体很有好处。

I think it was, you know, being in nature and camping, but actually, I know that sleeping in a cold environment is very good for you.

睡觉时，你应该尽量让卧室变得尽可能冷。

You're supposed to try and make your bedroom as cold as possible when you go to bed.

好吧，也许不是越冷越好，但睡在凉爽的房间里确实对你更有好处。

Well, maybe not as cold as possible, but certainly sleeping in a cooler room is better for you.

所以，尽管我第一晚睡得不太好，但根据我的WHOOP数据，我的身体似乎从中获益良多。

So actually, even though I slept quite badly that first night, based on the metrics from my WHOOP, it seems like it did my body a lot of good.

比如有一个指标叫心率变异性，指的是你的心率波动幅度，也就是心率能有多快或多慢。

Like, there's this metric called heart rate variability, which is how widely your heart rate varies, like how fast it can go versus how slow it can go.

通常来说，心率变异性越高越好，因为它表明你的心脏健康且有力。

And generally, higher heart rate variability is good because it shows that your heart is healthy and strong.

在头几个晚上，我的心率变异性大幅上升。

And on the first nights, my heart rate variability shot up.

至于这是否一定是好事，我还不太确定，但看起来它确实对我产生了某种积极的放松效果。

Now whether that's necessarily a good thing, I'm not quite sure, but it seems like it had some kind of positive restful effect on me.

所以这很好。

So that was good.

所以婚礼本身是一场贵格会仪式。

So the wedding itself was a Quaker ceremony.

贵格会是基督教的一个教派。

So the Quakers are a denomination of Christianity.

你可能听说过贵格燕麦，这是一种在许多国家销售的燕麦片。

You might know Quaker oats, which is a kind of porridge oats that's sold in many countries.

事实上，贵格燕麦的创始人是一位贵格会教徒，或者可能是一群贵格会教徒。

And indeed, the founder of Quaker oats was a Quaker, or maybe it was even a group of Quakers.

贵格会非常与众不同。

The Quakers are very different.

我相信他们起源于十七世纪左右。

I believe they began in, like, the seventeenth century.

与大多数基督教教派相比，他们算是非常近代的。

So they're very recent compared to most Christian denominations.

贵格会信徒基本相信每个人内心都具有神性，他们不信仰神职人员。

Quakers basically believe that everyone has divinity, like godliness within them, and they don't believe in priests.

所以他们没有这种等级制度，即由某个人负责主持婚姻、洗礼等事务。

So they don't have this hierarchy of this person is in charge and this person is giving out, you know, marriage and baptism and all those things.

这是一种更加平等、等级更低的方式。

It's much more horizontal, much less hierarchical.

因此，贵格会仪式的做法是：贵格会并不为人们主持婚礼。

So the way that Quaker ceremonies work is, first, Quakers do not marry people.

新人会写下他们结婚的声明，由一位贵格会信徒作见证。

The couple writes down that they are getting married, and a Quaker witnesses it.

他们见证此事，然后说：好的。

They see it, and they say, okay.

我们承认这段婚姻，但他们相信自己并没有能力去缔结这段婚姻。

We acknowledge this marriage, but they believe that they don't have the power to kind of create that marriage.

首先，双方签署文件，然后大家静坐大约三十到四十分钟，任何感受到圣灵感动的人都可以发言。

So first of all, there's the signing of the documents, and then you sit in silence for about thirty to forty minutes, and anyone can speak if they feel the power of the spirit moving them.

我认为这就是所有贵格会礼拜的运作方式：大家静坐，当有人想发言时，也许他们事先准备好了，就站起来说出来。

So this is, I think how all Quaker services work, but basically you sit there in silence and then when someone wants to speak, maybe they've prepared something, they just stand up and say it.

这实际上非常感人，因为它比传统的婚礼仪式更加个人化。

So it's quite moving actually because it's much more personal than traditional wedding ceremonies.

一切都围绕着这对新人，每个人都在表达他们对这对新人的看法，说些美好的话。

It's really all about the couple, everyone's saying what they think about the couple, saying nice words.

流程更加自然，你真的能沉浸在这个房间的氛围和情感中。

It flows more naturally And you really get to soak in the atmosphere of that room and the feelings.

所以我真的觉得这是一场非常非常美丽的仪式。

So I actually thought it was a really, really beautiful ceremony.

然后我们去大厅吃晚餐，食物非常美味。

Then we went over to have dinner in a hall, and the food was very good.

我们吃了三文鱼和美味的蔬菜，整体食物都非常好。

We had salmon and lovely vegetables and just really good food generally.

如果你听过我关于我姐姐婚礼的那期节目，你可能会猜到现场有苏格兰乡村舞蹈，确实婚礼上有一个凯利舞会，但我错过了。

And if you've listened to the episode I did about my sister's wedding, you'll probably guess that there was a as in Scottish country dancing, and indeed there was a ceilidh at the wedding, but I missed it.

遗憾的是，我周六晚上必须提前离开，因为第二天周日在伦敦我有一场日语考试。

Unfortunately, I had to leave early on the Saturday night because the next day on Sunday in London, I had a Japanese exam.

正如我之前提到的，在我得到中国的工作之前，我原本计划搬到日本，所以我报名了这场日语考试，因为我以为这个证书会对我的日本申请有帮助。

So as I've mentioned before, before I got the job in China, I was planning on moving to Japan, so I booked this Japanese exam because I thought having this certificate would help my application for Japan.

后来我意外获得了中国的工作，于是我想：既然已经付了考试费，不如干脆去考吧！

And then I ended up getting the job in China so I decided well I've paid for the exam I might as well do it!

这是日语能力测试（JLPT）的最高级别。我之前已经考过三级和二级，总共有五个级别，一级是最高等级。我大约十四年前考过一次，但那次没通过，否则我也不用再考一次了。

Now this is the highest level of the JLPT the Japanese Language Proficiency Test I've done levels three and two before, there are five levels, so level one is the highest level and I actually did it before about fourteen years ago and I did not pass that time obviously or I wouldn't be sitting it again.

事实上，我上次没通过的原因有点傻。

In fact, the reason I didn't pass that time was a bit silly.

我为这次考试付出了很多努力，但我认为自己通过的可能性很低。

I had worked really hard for that exam, but I didn't think my chances of passing were very high.

我当时可能只有百分之三十到四十的通过几率。

I maybe had, like, a thirty or forty percent chance of passing.

但在考试当天，我完全毁了自己，因为喝了太多水。

But on the day, I completely sabotaged myself by drinking way too much water.

考试开始时，监考人员说：如果在考试期间离开考场，将被取消资格。

And then when you start the exam, they say, if you leave the exam room during the exam, you will be disqualified.

你会得零分。

You will get zero points.

我当时想，好吧。

And I was like, okay.

但在持续两小时的阅读测试进行到一半时，我需要上厕所。

But halfway through the reading test, which is two hours long, I had to pee.

我真的很、真的很想上厕所。

And I had to pee really, really badly.

我急得不得了。

Like, I had to pee so bad.

我趴在桌子上，前后摇晃。

I was bending over the desk, rocking backwards and forwards.

于是我心想，算了。

And I decided, you know what?

如果非要在我肯定考不过这场考试，还是当着一屋子人尿裤子之间做选择，我宁愿考不过。

If the choice is between definitely failing this exam, which I'm probably going to fail anyway, or wetting myself in front of a room of people, I would rather fail the exam.

所以我问能不能去洗手间，他们说不行，不能离开考场，我就说，我不在乎，我可不想尿裤子。

So I asked if I could go to the toilet, and they said, but you can't leave the room and I was like, I don't care, I don't want to wet myself.

最后他们还是让我去了洗手间，其中一人跟着我去，当然他们没看着我上厕所，但他们在确保我没有作弊。

So eventually they did let me go to the toilet, one of them followed me there, obviously they didn't watch me pee, but they were making sure that I wasn't cheating.

我回来后，他们似乎不会取消我的资格，但那时我已经基本算失败了，因为整个上厕所的事情让我紧张得不行。

And I came back and it seemed like they weren't going to disqualify me, but I had basically already failed by that point anyway, because I had lost so many nerves to the whole toilet situation.

所以某种程度上，就像去剑桥一样，参加我在前面提到的剑桥舞会，帮助我处理了关于学位的一些情绪。

So in a way, just like going to Cambridge, going to this ball in Cambridge that I talked about before helped me process some of my feelings around my degree.

重考这次日语考试，是为了帮助我消化那次考试带来的创伤。

Redoing this Japanese exam was an attempt to help process the trauma of this exam.

因为说实话，我知道这听起来可能很自大，但当我那次日语考试失败时，这几乎是我第一次在语言相关的事情上表现糟糕。

Because to be honest, and I'm aware that this sounds really obnoxious, When I failed that Japanese exam, it was pretty much the first time I had done badly at anything language related.

这是我第一次在语言考试中失败。

Like, it was the first time I had failed a language exam.

这是我第一次以这种方式真正地考试失败。

It was the first time I had really failed an exam in that way.

我当时大概是十七八岁。

And I was maybe, like, 17 or 18.

不。

No.

那时候可能是十八九岁。

Maybe, like, 18 or 19 at the time.

但这件事对我打击很大。

But it hit me really hard.

听起来可能很傻，但我从没经历过失败，至少没经历过考试失败。

Like, it sounds stupid, but I wasn't used to failing, or at least I wasn't used to failing exams.

我一直对考试很从容。

Like, I've always been fine with exams.

我从不为考试紧张。

I don't get stressed about exams.

我总是那个提前一小时做完就要求交卷的人。

I'm always that person who finishes an hour early and asks to leave.

所以，某种程度上，这有助于彻底了结这段心结。

So in a way, this was good to just kind of help close that loop.

我一直在回顾并重新审视过去十年到十五年生活中各种相关的情绪。

I've been kind of going back and revisiting a lot of emotions related to stuff in my past ten, fifteen years of life.

我觉得这是件好事，是在我移居中国、开启人生新篇章之前，好好做个了结的方式。

And it felt like something good to do, something to kind of close off before I moved to China and start this new chapter.

无论如何，考试是在伦敦的亚非学院（SOAS）举行的。

Anyway, the exam took place at SOAS, the school of oriental and African studies, which is a university in London.

这次，他们似乎改变了上厕所的规定。

And this time, they seem to have changed the rule about going to the toilet.

现在看来，你可以上厕所了。

Now it looks like you can go to the toilet.

但他们引入了一项新规定：考试开始前，你必须关闭手机。

But they had introduced a new rule, which is before the exam starts, you have to turn off your phone.

你必须向监考老师展示你已经关闭了手机。

You have to show to the examiner that you've turned off your phone.

你必须把手机放进包里。

You have to put your phone in your bag.

在阅读考试和听力考试之间的休息时间，如果你拿出手机，即使你不在考场内，也会被取消资格。

And in the break between the reading exam and the listening exam, if you get your phone out, even though you're not in the exam room, you will be disqualified.

我的意思是，这简直太、太、太严格了。

I mean, it was, like, so so so strict.

我非常惊讶。

I was very surprised.

所以你真的完全不能使用手机，老实说，我觉得这是件好事。

So you really were not allowed to use your phone whatsoever, which, to be honest, I think is a good thing.

但这是日本官僚体系，他们不得不极其详细地解释这条规则，并重复了大约十遍。

But this being Japanese bureaucracy, they had to explain this rule in excruciating detail and repeat it about 10 times.

所以，你知道，这给考试增添了一些枯燥的行政程序。

So, you know, it it it added a bit of boring admin to the exam.

现在这个考试，日语能力测试，作为语言考试来说，它并不算很好，因为它只考阅读、语法、词汇和听力。

Now this exam, the Japanese language proficiency test, as language exams go, it's it's not a very good one in the sense that it's just reading grammar, vocabulary, and listening.

没有口语和写作部分。

There's no speaking and there's no writing.

据我所知，他们这样做是为了节省费用。

As far as I can tell, they do this because it saves the money.

另外，日语的写作要复杂得多，因为你可能日语说得流利，却不会写日语中的汉字（中文字符）。

Also with writing, it's a lot more complicated with Japanese because you can speak Japanese fluently, but not be able to write kanji, the Chinese characters that are in Japanese.

所以我认为他们干脆不在考试中设置写作部分，以避免这类问题。

So I think they avoid that kind of issue by just not having it in the exam.

但结果是，阅读部分变得异常困难，以弥补其他缺失部分的不足。

But the result is the reading exam is way harder to kind of like compensate for these other sections missing.

因此，在这个级别的考试中，你需要阅读学术文章、科技文本和小说节选。

So at this level of the test, you're having to read like academic texts, scientific texts, extracts from novels.

说实话，这与其他语言的C2级考试差别不大，但确实很难，非常难。

To be honest, it's not that different from, like, C2 exams in other languages, but it's, it's hard, like, it's really hard.

这个级别考试的通过率大约为32%，即只有约三成的学生能通过。

So the pass rates of this level of the exam, the percentage of students who pass is about thirty two percent.

所以你通过的概率大约是三分之一。

So you have about a one in three chance of passing.

在我所在的考场里，我认为百分之六十到七十的学生是亚洲人，其中大多数可能是中国人，因为中国人学习日语到高水平要容易得多，毕竟有共同的书写元素。

And in the room I was in, I would say sixty to seventy percent of the students were Asian, most of whom were probably Chinese, because it's way easier for Chinese people to learn Japanese to a high level because of the shared writing elements.

所以仅仅身处其中并能参加考试就让我感到非常安心。

So just being there and being able to do the test was very reassuring.

我当时想，哇，我能做到这一点真的很了不起。

I was like, no, like, it's really impressive that I can do this.

我上次参加日语能力测试一级时，用的是比较传统的方法。

The last time I did the JLPT level one, I was studying using quite traditional methods.

我只是不停地背闪卡，看了很多动漫，但几乎没有读过任何书籍。

I was just doing endless flashcards, and I was watching lots of anime, but I wasn't really reading any books.

结果，我根本没有为考试做好准备。

And, yeah, as a result, I really wasn't prepared for the exam.

要真正通过这个级别的考试，唯一的办法就是能流利地阅读日语，而我确实能做到。

The only way you can really pass this level of the exam is if you're reading fluently in Japanese, which I do.

我读了一些日语小说，并在考试前读了一些非虚构类作品。

I read novels in Japanese, and I read some non fiction leading up to the exam.

但对于之前的等级，我只使用传统方法学习，也顺利通过了。

But for the previous levels, I had just studied with traditional methods, and it got me there.

但在二级左右，我虽然通过了考试，却开始真正感到困惑：这到底是怎么回事？

But there was a point around level two where I just passed that exam, but I really started to feel like, what's going on?

实际上，这一直是我在学习语言时的感受：用传统方法学习，我可以达到中高级水平，但之后总会遇到一个瓶颈或平台期，再也无法进步。

And actually, that used to always be how I felt when I was studying languages, where I could study using traditional methods and I could get to, like, upper intermediate, but then I would hit a wall or a plateau as it's often called, where I just couldn't progress.

而如今，我当然明白，真正学习一门语言的方法是通过可理解的输入。

And now, of course, I know that the way to really learn a language is with comprehensible inputs.

尤其是在较高水平时，你必须大量阅读和听力。

And especially at those higher levels, you really need to be reading and listening a lot.

所以这次，我可能通过，也可能不通过。

So this time, I may pass, I may not pass.

我真的不知道。

I really don't know.

成绩将在九月公布。

The results come out in September.

你需要大约60%的分数才能通过。

You need about a 60%, score to pass.

每个部分必须至少获得60分中的19分。

You have to have a minimum of 19 out of 60 points in each section.

问题是很难知道这些分数实际上意味着什么，因为他们使用的是分级评分系统。

The problem is it's very hard to know what the scores actually mean because they use like a graded scoring system.

所以本质上，他们会查看所有参加考试的人的成绩，那些很多人答错的题目分值更高，而很多人答对的题目分值更低，我想是这样。

So essentially, they look at all the results from people who did the exam, and the questions that lots of people got wrong are worth more points, and the questions that lots of people got right are worth less points, I think.

这是一个非常令人困惑的系统。

It's some really confusing system.

理论上，这种统计方法确保了通过考试确实反映了实际的日语能力，而不仅仅是靠猜测或死记硬背语法点。

Theoretically, this statistical method ensures that passing the exam reflects an actual ability to speak Japanese rather than just guessing or having memorized a bunch of grammar points.

这种做法在实践中是否有效，我也不太确定。

Whether that works in practice, I'm not really sure.

我做模拟测试时，通常得分在62到75分之间。

When I did the practice tests, I got usually between 6275%.

你知道，从技术上讲我是在及格范围内，但根据分数，我其实不太确定。

You know, I was technically within the passing range, but based on the scores, I don't really know.

所以考试前，我并没有太大的信心。

So before the exam, I wasn't feeling that confident.

但当我真正参加考试时，我觉得我能读懂这些文本并理解它们。

But when I was actually doing the exam, I was like, I can read these texts and understand them.

对吧？

Right?

而这正是一个试金石。

And that's kind of the Shibboleth.

试金石就像一个测试，看你是否真的能做某件事。

A Shibboleth is like a test of, like, can you really do something?

严格来说，试金石的含义略有不同。

Well, technically, Shibboleth is a bit different.

所以，Shibboleth 基本上是一个希伯来语单词，我想。

So basically, Shibboleth is a word in Hebrew, I think.

很久很久以前，有两个群体，他们正在打仗，为了判断某人属于哪个群体，你会让他们念出 'Shibboleth' 这个词。

And a long, long, long, long, long, long time ago, there were these two groups, and they were fighting, they were at war, so in order to find out which group someone was from, you asked them to pronounce the word Shibboleth.

他们念成 'Sibboleth' 还是 'Shibboleth' 能帮助你判断他们属于哪个群体，因为他们的口音不同。

And whether they said Sibboleth or Shibboleth helped you know which group they were from because they had different accents.

所以，Shibboleth 是我们用来形容这种区分工具的词，你知道的，就是某人是通过还是失败？

So Shibileph is a word we use to talk about this kind of tool to distinguish, you know, so does someone pass or fail?

某人是否能融入其中？

Does someone fit in or not?

所以我觉得，我能够真正阅读并理解这些文本，不是在纯机械的层面上，而是真正体会到作者想表达的意思。

So I feel like the fact that I could actually read the texts and understand them, not on a purely mechanical level, but like actually appreciate what the author was saying.

我能轻松听懂听力部分，这意味着即使我失败了，我也算某种程度上通过了，如果这说得通的话。

The fact that I could comfortably listen to the listening section means that even if I fail, I've kind of passed, if that makes sense.

但我不确定。

But I don't know.

实际上，考试那天我感觉挺有信心的。

I felt pretty confident actually on the day of the exam.

至于阅读部分，坐在我左边的人整个时间都在抖脚，鞋子还吱吱作响，这让我非常分心，因为整个考试过程中他都紧挨着我。

Now for the reading section, the person on my left was shaking his foot the entire time, and his shoe was squeaking, so that was really distracting because the whole time through the test, was like right next to me.

但在听力部分，我请他安静一点，他确实做到了。

But I did ask him to tone it down in the listening, and he did.

这很好。

So that's good.

所以如果我失败了，我就可以把责任推给那个意大利人。

So if I fail, I can just blame that Italian guy.

但说实话，我其实很享受这次考试，这完全出乎我的意料。

But yeah, I have to say I enjoyed doing the exam, which I really wasn't expecting.

在备考时，让我惊讶的是，我发现坐下来做一套模拟题竟然这么困难。

As I was preparing for it, what really surprised me was how difficult I found it to sit down and do a practice test.

正如我所说，我通常很擅长考试，但自从大学毕业以来，我就没再参加过考试，所以早已生疏了。

As I said, I'm usually a person who's really good at exams, but obviously since I graduated university, I haven't been doing exams, so I'm very much out of the habit.

起初我发现很难在规定时间内完成测试，我读得太慢，也不了解正确的考试技巧和方法。

And at first I found that I really struggled to finish the tests in time, I was reading too slowly, I didn't know the right test techniques, the methods.

现在，日语能力测试更侧重于理解考试结构和应试技巧，而非实际的语言能力。

Now the JLPT skews pretty heavily on the side of understanding the structure of the test and the techniques to use versus actual language ability.

所以，部分过程只是适应考试的结构，重新熟悉考试的运作方式。

So parts of it was just kind of acclimatizing to the structure of the exam, like getting used to how the exam works again.

但我不确定。

But I don't know.

我发现这很有帮助，因为起初我很难集中注意力，但后来我真正进入了考试状态。

I found it really helpful because I I struggled to concentrate at first, but then I really got into that exam mode.

尽管我认为考试从根本上来说是衡量语言能力的一种很糟糕的方式，但我无法否认，参加语言考试并取得成功会带来巨大的成就感。

And although I think exams are fundamentally a pretty terrible way of measuring someone's ability in a language, I can't deny that there's a huge sense of accomplishment in doing a language exam and succeeding.

而且，我不确定，经历这个过程确实让你对‘这就是我的能力’有了一个明确的定义。

And I don't know, going through that process, it does give you like a meaningful definition of like, this is my ability.

而如果你只是学习一门语言，却从未接受过考试或评估，就很难真正感受到‘这就是我’。

Whereas if you just learn a language without ever being examined or evaluated, it's kind of hard to feel like this is who I am.

比如最近，有好几个人问我，除了英语之外，你最强的语言是什么？

Like, recently, several people have asked me, aside from English, what is your strongest language?

我真的不知道该怎么回答这个问题。

And I don't really know if I can answer that.

从技术上讲，大概是日语吧，因为我最近花在日语上的时间最多，也能阅读最深奥的学术内容，但我也能阅读相当难的德语材料。

Like, I guess technically Japanese, because that's the one I've worked on the most recently, and I can read the most kind of heady academic stuff in, but then I can also read pretty difficult stuff in German.

我觉得自己的法语口语非常流利。

I feel quite conversationally fluent in French.

我觉得自己的西班牙语口语也很流利，但可能我掌握的西班牙语文学典故不如德语那么多，比如。

I feel very conversationally fluent in Spanish, but maybe I don't have as many like literary references in Spanish as I do in German, for example.

我以前觉得说世界语比说任何其他语言都更自在，因为我经常和朋友用它交流，但后来就渐渐不用了。

I used to feel way more comfortable speaking in Esperanto than any other language pretty much because I was using it a lot with friends, but it's kind of fallen out of use.

所以，我想说的是，它给你一个里程碑。

So anyway, what I'm trying to say is, like, it gives you a milestone.

它为你提供了一个标记，让你知道自己的水平到了哪里。

It gives you, like, a a marker of, like, this is where you are.

所以我很喜欢参加这次考试。

So I I enjoyed doing the exam.

再次置身于学术环境中，坐在大学里，感觉真的很好。

It also felt really good to be in an academic space again, like, to be sitting in a university.

过去几年里，我在对学术的感受上挣扎了很多，比如，我是否想读硕士？

I've struggled a lot in the past few years with my feelings about academia and like, do I want to do a master's?

正如我提到的，我对学业和退学感到遗憾。

And as I've mentioned, regrets around my studies and dropping out.

但我真的觉得，不，我喜欢在这里。

But I really felt like, no, I like being here.

我在这方面很擅长。

I'm really good at this.

对于研究生学习，我经常告诉自己：我不够好。

And with post grad studies, I've told myself a lot like, I'm not good enough.

我不配拥有这一切。

I don't deserve this.

现在进入学术界这么难，花费又这么高，做这些到底有什么意义呢， blah blah blah blah blah blah blah。

What's the point of doing this when it's so hard to get into academia now, it's so expensive, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

但在这次考试中，我真真切切地感受到：我想要这个，我想要更多这样的体验。

But I really had a sense in this exam of like I want this, I want more of this.

至于这会采取什么样的形式，我现在还不知道。

Now what structure that will take, I don't know.

也许这意味着我要为我的其他语言多参加一些语言考试。

Maybe that means I do more language exams for my other languages.

比如，我给自己设定一个目标：我要在法语、西班牙语和德语上都达到C2水平。

Like maybe I set the goal of like, I'm gonna do C2 in French, Spanish, German.

我要参加中文考试的最高级别，因为这会非常有成就感，对吧？

I'm gonna do the equivalent highest level of the Chinese test, because that would be really satisfying, right?

能够说：看，这就是证明，我在这些语言上都达到了高度熟练的水平。

To be able to say like, hey, this is proof that I am highly proficient in all these languages.

这可能是一个目标。

That could be one goal.

或者我去读个硕士。

Or maybe I go and do a master's.

这是我经常考虑的事情。

That's something I've thought about a lot.

而这里困难的问题在于，我该多大程度上寻找能给我稳定可持续职业的方向，又该多大程度上追随我的热情？

And I think the difficult issue there is how much do I look for something that's really gonna give me, you know, like a stable and sustainable career, and how much do I follow my passions?

某种程度上，我感觉自己只是想追随热情。

And in a way, I kind of feel like maybe I just wanna follow the passions.

我不确定。

I don't know.

这真是个很大的话题。

It's it's a really big topic.

我看了一个Healthy Gamer GG的YouTube视频，他是一位心理学家，谈到了‘永恒少年’这个概念，puer aeternus？

I was watching, like, a YouTube video by Healthy Gamer GG, who's this YouTube psychologist, and he was talking about this concept of the puer eternus, puer aeternus, maybe?

这是拉丁语，意思是永恒的孩童或永恒的男孩。

It's Latin for the eternal child or the eternal boy.

对吧？

Right?

这是一个由社会学家兼心理学家荣格提出的概念，指的是一种永远长不大的人。

And it's a concept that the sociologist slash psychologist Jung came up with, but it's like a kind of person who never grows up.

这种现象的另一个说法是彼得·潘综合征。

Another word for this is Peter Pan syndrome.

对吧？

Right?

就像彼得·潘永远长不大。

Like Peter Pan never grows up.

我曾就这个问题反思过自己，因为这段视频中他说的话深深触动了我。

I've thought about it with regards to myself because what he said in this video really struck a chord with me.

我当时就想，这说的就是我——彼得·潘型人格拥有巨大的潜力、很多技能和能力，但他们却站在一条道路的中央，面前有无数条选择路径。

Like, I was like, that's me, which is this idea of the puer eternus has huge potential, a lot of skills, a lot of ability, but it's like they're standing in the middle of this path with loads of options in front of them.

他们可以走向所有这些不同的道路，每一条都十分有趣，但他们就是不愿做出承诺。

Like, they could go down all of these different paths, and they're all really interesting routes, but they never want to commit.

他们从不愿意选择一个会排除其他选项的路径。

They never want to choose an option that removes other options.

所以如果他们走上某条路一段时间，总会回头，或者放弃，等等。

So if they go down a path for a bit, they'll always come back or they'll quit or whatever.

我在自己身上真的看到了这一点。

And I really see this in myself.

我在牛津学了一年中文，然后退学了。

I studied a year of Chinese at Oxford, and then I dropped out.

我上大学时学了语言学，但学得很吃力，学术上也融入不进去，于是我想：我永远不会进入学术界。

I went and did linguistics at university, and then I really struggled, and I couldn't fit in academically, and then I was like, I'm never going into academia.

然后我尝试当一名浪漫小说作家，但后来对此感到精疲力尽，于是我想：算了，我还是当老师吧，我要专注于这个。

And then I worked on trying to be a romance novelist, and then I burned out on that, and I was like, okay, never mind, I'll be a teacher, and I'm going to focus on this.

老实说，我认为过去十年里，我一直在努力克服这种永恒少年（puer aeternus）或彼得·潘综合症，学会坚持做事情。

And to be honest, I think the last, yeah, the last ten years of my life has really been a struggle to overcome this puer eternus, this Peter Pan syndrome, and commit to things.

而我真正坚持下来的，是我从事的教学工作和《Easy Stories in English》。

And the things I have committed to, I feel, are my teaching and Easy Stories in English.

《Easy Stories in English》是我做过的最可持续的项目。

Easy Stories in English is easily the most sustainable project I've done.

这是我做过的持续时间最长的项目。

It's the project I've done that's lasted the longest.

现在已经快七年了。

It's almost seven years now.

差不多六年半了。

It's about six and a half years.

我能够坚持这个项目并持续做这么久，对我来说意义重大。

And just the fact that I've committed to that and kept doing it all this time is hugely important for me as a person.

这显然对我的事业也有好处。

It's obviously good for my career.

但我想我逐渐意识到的是，你可能在某件事上非常非常出色，或者长期努力地做某件事。

But basically, I guess what I'm realizing is you can be really, really good at something or you can work really hard at something for a long time.

但仅凭这些，可能还不够。

But alone, these things probably aren't enough.

或者更准确地说，如果你长期努力做某件事，即使你不是特别出色，或者有其他因素拖后腿，你依然会取得某种成功。

Or rather, if you work really hard at something for a long time, even if you're not amazing at it, or even if other things are holding you back, you will have some kind of success.

如果你只是擅长某件事，却无法坚持投入，那会严重限制你。

If you're just really good at something, but you can't commit to it, that's going to really limit you.

对吧？

Right?

这就是问题所在。

And that's the problem.

我曾经做过这样的事：我擅长这个。

I've done that thing of I'm really good at this.

我擅长那个。

I'm really good at that.

但很少有几次，我会真正全身心投入其中。

And then very rarely do I, like, fully commit to it.

当然，如果你选择投身教师职业、学术生涯，或者选择为《简易英语故事》写作而非为自己写小说，你就是在放弃其他选择。

And, of course, if you commit to a career as a teacher, a career in academia, if I commit to writing for easy stories in English over writing a novel for myself, you know, it's removing options.

要专注于某件事，就必须放弃很多其他可能性。

You have to remove a lot of possibilities in order to commit to things.

我一生中大部分时间都在到处尝试。

And I've spent most of my life playing around.

对吧？

Right?

比如，我要去玩一下单口喜剧。

Like, I'm gonna do a bit of stand up.

我要做个电子游戏。

I'm gonna make a video game.

我要写本小说。

I'm gonna write a novel.

我要做这个。

I'm gonna do this.

这很好，很有趣，对我的个人和艺术发展也有帮助，但现在已经到了我必须坐下来，好好把该做的事做完的时候了。

And this is good, and this is fun, and this is useful for my personal and artistic development, but the time has come where I'm like, I just need to sit down and do the damn work.

因为我已经32岁了，和我同龄的人有的从18岁或21岁就开始稳定工作，也有的已经完成了博士学位，正步入学术生涯。

Because I'm 32, and there are people my age who have been steadily earning in jobs since they were 18 or 21 or there are people my age who have done PhDs and are now going into careers in academia.

所以我必须努力工作。

So I am going to have to work hard.

我得静下心来，专心致志地努力，才能赶上来，因为我厌倦了这条充满各种选择的道路。

I'm going to have to just buckle down and work hard and focus in order to catch up because I'm tired of being in this path with all these options.

我想走在一条清晰知道自己要去往何方的路上。

I want to be walking down the path with a clear idea of where I'm going.

不过，公平地说，我仍然不太清楚那条路究竟是哪一条。

Now, to be fair, I still don't really know which path that is.

当然，我依然会同时尝试做五件事，因为这就是我的本性。

And, of course, I still will try and do five at once because that's just sort of who I am.

参加这次日语考试，让我能够了结这个循环。

Doing this Japanese exam is allowing me to close this loop.

它让我能够延续从更年轻时就开始的这条轨迹。

It's allowing me to continue this trajectory from way younger.

对吧？

Right?

我十几岁的时候，先过了三级，然后过了二级。

As a teenager, I did level three and then level two.

所以如果我通过了一级，就像是完成了这个任务，讲完了这个故事。

So if I pass level one, it's like I'm completing that quest, I'm finishing that story.

对吧？

Right?

同样地，去中国也让我完成了大学时的那段旅程。

And similarly by going to China I'm completing the quest from my first time at university.

我第一次上大学时，在牛津学了一年中文，第二年本该去北京留学。

The first time I went to university I studied Chinese at Oxford for one year, the second year would have been my year abroad in Beijing.

所以，我当年2011年一起学中文的朋友甚至对我说：‘这就像你迟到了十四年才完成留学年。’

So my friend who I actually studied Chinese with all the way back when in 2011, she even said to me oh it's like you're doing the year abroad but like fourteen years later.

这感觉真的很棒。

And that feels really good.

我觉得我正在送给自己一份强大的礼物，因为很久以来我都告诉自己：太晚了。

Like, I I feel like I'm giving myself such a powerful gift because for so long I told myself, it's too late.

你不配得到这个。

You don't deserve this.

你有过机会，但你错过了。

You had your chance and you missed it.

现在我有点觉得，我能做任何事，只要我下定决心去做；但我必须做出一些会限制我的决定，因为生活就是这样，而你做出的限制性决定越多，你的目标和生活方式就越具体。

And now I kind of feel like I can do anything I can do anything I put my mind to but I have to make decisions that will limit me because that's life and of course the more decisions you make that limit you the more specific you get with your goals and your way of living.

虽然它削减了其他选择，但也赋予了你一种美妙的深度，让你获得一种 otherwise 不会有的满足感和完成感。

Although it cuts out options it also gives you like a beautiful depth right it gives you a feeling of satisfaction and completion that you won't have otherwise.

哇，这突然变得很深奥了。

Wow, this has all got very deep.

我录制这一集时完全没预料到会谈到这些，但我想这正说明了，即使我从技术上讲并不需要参加这个日语考试，它对我的人生轨迹——比如去中国——其实没有直接影响，但它对我个人来说真的很有益处。

I didn't anticipate this at all when recording this episode, but I think this just goes to show how doing this Japanese exam, even though I technically didn't need to do it, right, like it it it really had no effect on my trajectory in going to China, it's been really good for me personally.

即使我失败了，它也给了我巨大的成就感和目标感。

And even if I fail it, it's given me a huge sense of accomplishment and purpose.

所以我真的觉得自己会带着一种并不清晰的愿景去中国。

So I really feel like I'm going to China with this very well, not a clear vision.

我去中国，是因为我知道那是过去的我应得的。

I'm going to China knowing that it's it's what my past self deserves.

我把这份礼物送给了内心的孩子，不管你怎么称呼它。

I'm giving that gift to my inner child, whatever you want to call it.

我正在挑战自己，就像我之前挑战自己搬去伦敦、参加这个考试一样。

And I'm challenging myself just as I've been challenging myself with moving to London, doing this exam and so on.

对吧？

Right?

我正在挑战自己，至于之后会发生什么，我只能静观其变。

I'm challenging myself and whatever happens after that, I'll just have to wait and see.

会有许多机会出现。

There's going to be many opportunities.

我在那里时会追求不同的项目，但最终我无法看得那么远。

I'm going to pursue different projects while I'm there, but ultimately I can't see that far down the path.