本集简介
双语字幕
仅展示文本字幕，不包含中文音频；想边听边看，请使用 Bayt 播客 App。
嗨。
Hi.
欢迎回到《Eat Your Crust》播客。
Welcome back to Eat Your Crust podcast.
我是Jisoo。
I'm Jisoo.
我是Crystal。
And I'm Crystal.
好的。
Alright.
我要透露一下，我们这个节目录制的时间远早于它发布的日期。
I'm gonna spill the beans that we're recording this episode much earlier than it's being released.
但我觉得这挺搞笑的，因为我们现在录制这一集的时候正好临近情人节，而我们的主题却是嫉妒。
But I just think it's funny because we're recording this episode right now near Valentine's Day, and our topic is jealousy.
我想你可以这样想，嫉妒在某种程度上是你浪漫关系的一部分，不管你愿不愿意接受。
I guess you could think about it, like, some ways, jealousy is a portion of your romantic relationship, whether you want it to be or not.
是的
Yeah.
我觉得和大多数情绪一样，你总会在某个时刻感受到这种情绪。
I feel like as with most feelings, it's kind of inevitable that you'll feel this at some point.
我想这取决于什么会引发你的这种情绪。
And I guess it just depends on what brings it out of you.
完全对。
Totally.
我认为每个人都有自己独特的触发嫉妒的因素。
I think everyone has some factor or another that sets them off personally in terms of their jealousy.
那我们先从反思自己开始吧。
So let's kick it off by thinking about our ourselves.
你什么时候最容易感到嫉妒？
So when do you feel the most jealous?
这很难说。
This is tough.
可能当我看到别人拥有我非常想要的东西时。
Probably when I see someone who has something that I really want.
嗯。
Mhmm.
是的。
Yeah.
我认为这可能是引发嫉妒最主要原因之一
I think that is probably, like, the biggest trigger of jealousy for
我。
me.
你觉得通常是因为有形的物品吗？
Do you think it usually tends to be, like, a tangible object?
比如，他们拥有你也会想要拥有的东西？
Like, they own something that you also wanna possess?
还是因为他们具备的某些品质或生活方式？
Or is it qualities that they have, lifestyle?
哦，好的。
Oh, okay.
我想大多数时候，是一种有形的物品。
I think maybe most often, it's, like, a tangible object.
该死。
Damn.
我是不是太物质了？
Am I materialistic?
但你一提到品质之类的东西，我觉得这确实是另一个触发因素。
But once you also mention, like, qualities and stuff like that, I think that is definitely another one.
你知道，如果某人真的很富有魅力
You know, if someone's, like, really charismatic
嗯。
Mhmm.
这可能算不上完全的嫉妒，但确实让我有某种感觉。
That is maybe not, like, full on jealousy, but it does make me feel some type of way.
哎呀，我真希望自己能像那个人一样有才华。
Like, oh, I wish I was as skilled as this other person.
看到别人具备某种特质，而我也想努力提升自己时，我也有这种感觉。
I feel that too with seeing a quality that someone else has that maybe I want to work on or improve for myself.
我有点羡慕。
I feel a bit of envy.
但同时，我又想，也许大部分时候就是，你知道的？
But at the same time, I'm like, maybe most of it is like, oh, you know?
我心想，天啊。
I'm like, oh my god.
你真是太酷了。
Like, you're so cool.
真希望我能成为你。
I wish I could be you.
哦，是的。
Oh, yeah.
当然。
Definitely.
就像那种混合的感觉。
It's like a mixture of that.
而且这绝对不是一种消极或有害的方式。
And it's definitely not in a negative or harmful way.
没错。
Right.
你知道吗，挺有意思的。
You know, kinda interesting.
也许我们年纪越大，嫉妒就会被其他情绪稀释。
Maybe the older we get, jealousy is something that's more diluted with other feelings.
嗯。
Mhmm.
因为我觉得我年轻的时候，会感受到纯粹的嫉妒。
Because I feel like when I was younger, I would feel pure jealousy.
我曾经嫉妒那些更漂亮的女孩，或者嫉妒那些在课堂上获得很多关注的人，那种嫉妒非常单纯、直接。
I was jealous of girls who were prettier or, like, jealous of people who got a lot of attention in class, things like that that were very simplistic and jealousy forward.
但我觉得随着年龄增长，这种嫉妒常常会掺杂着某种钦佩，就像我们之前提到的，或者掺杂着想要提升自己的愿望。
But I think the older I get, it's often jealousy mixed with something like admiration like we talked about or maybe jealousy mixed with wanting to improve myself.
里面混入了其他因素，不再只是纯粹而奇怪的嫉妒了。
It's other things mixed in there, and it's no longer just sheer and weird.
是的，我也在想，这是否是因为我们年纪越大，越开始意识到自己的价值观。
Yeah, I also wonder if it's because as we get older we start to realize our own values.
我觉得我完全可以理解你说的这些。
I think I can definitely relate to what you said too.
你知道，年轻的时候，我们会觉得，这个人怎么得到了所有关注。
Know, when we're younger it's like, this person's getting all the attention.
对。
Right.
但随着年龄增长，我们会想，哦，但我真的想要那种关注吗？
But then as we get older, it's like, oh, but do I even want that attention?
是的
Yeah.
确实如此
So true.
也许我们对自己、自己的喜好和积极品质更加自信了，不再试图去追求别人那些看起来光鲜的东西。
Maybe we feel more secure in ourselves and our preferences and our positive qualities, and we stop trying to seek out, like, what other people have that look good.
没错
Exactly.
除了这些日常琐事之外，你在感情关系中会感到嫉妒吗？
So besides these more regular day to day things, are you someone who gets jealous in relationships?
比如，在恋爱关系中？
In, like, romantic relationships?
老天，我确实会。
Dude, I definitely am.
而且我觉得我感到嫉妒的程度也取决于我的伴侣。
And I feel like the amount of jealousy that I feel is also dependent on my partner.
正如我们的许多听众所知，我并没有太多认真的恋爱关系。
So I haven't had like a ton of serious romantic relationships as many of our listeners know.
但在我经历过的少数几段关系中，我的嫉妒情绪程度各不相同。
But the few that I have been in, I think I've had varying levels of my crazy jealousy.
有时候我感到关系非常稳固、被支持，觉得天啊，这家伙眼里只有我，我是他的优先级。
Times that I felt very secure in the relationship and supported and I felt like, oh my god, this guy really only has eyes for me and I'm his priority.
那时我的嫉妒心就非常低。
My jealousy level is quite low.
但也有时候，关系的稳固程度稍差一些。
But there are times in a relationship where it's slightly less secure.
比如在关系初期，你还在试探和了解伴侣的时候，尤其是你年轻的时候，像在高中阶段。
Like sometimes, like, beginning of the relationship when you're just trying to feel things out with your partner or especially when you're younger, like, in high school.
那时候，和其他女生的种种友谊之类的事情都会让我超级嫉妒。
There's, like, all these friendships with other girls, and that kind of stuff would make me super jealous.
我的意思是，这很合理。
I mean, that's fair.
而且我觉得你提到一个非常重要的观点，那就是这也取决于你的伴侣让你感到多安心。
And I feel like you shared a really important point about it also depends on how comfortable your partner is making you feel.
嗯。
Mhmm.
如果他们并没有给你足够信任他们的理由，那么自然你会想，这里到底发生了什么？
If they're not giving you good reason to trust them, then, like, naturally, you would be like, what's going on here?
对。
Right.
实际上，现在听你这么说，我回想起我之前说的，‘是的，我真的很嫉妒’，但其实这其实是我的伴侣的错。
Actually, now that I hear you say that, I'm thinking back at my response of being like, yeah, I'm really jealous, but it's actually my partner's.
我的意思是，我也得承认，我确实要为自己的嫉妒程度负责。
I mean I have to I guess own my jealousy levels too.
我觉得我天性上就更容易嫉妒。
I think naturally I do tend to be a more jealous person.
好的。
Okay.
还有一些环境因素会影响这一点。
Just there are also like circumstantial factors that affect it.
当然。
For sure.
天哪，我突然想到一件事。
Oh my god I had a sudden thought.
你觉得这是否部分是因为你是独生子女？
Do you think part of it is because you're an only child?
老兄，说实话，是的。
Dude honestly yes.
百分百是这样。
It a 100% is.
我想我只能代表自己，但我习惯了不和别人分享任何东西。
I guess I can only speak for myself but I'm not used to like sharing anything.
对，完全正确。
Yeah exactly right.
你会想，哦，这个应该是我的。
You're like, oh, well, this should be mine.
这是我的关系。
This is my relationship.
为什么呢。
Why Yeah.
为什么别人要插手进来？
Why are other people intruding upon it?
我的意思是，我觉得我对男女之间的友谊也有更多比较传统的想法和感受。
I mean, I think I also have more, I guess, traditional thoughts and feelings about friendships between guys and girls.
我觉得，说到底，我对这件事有更多老派的想法。
I think, like, deep down, I just have more old fashioned feelings about it.
我认为这也是一个很大的因素，比如，我和男朋友与其他女生走得多近我才会感到舒服。
I think that also is a big factor of, you know, how close am I comfortable with my boyfriend being with other girls.
那么，什么样的行为算是越界了？
So then like what crosses the line?
我想过去确实发生过一些让我感到不舒服的具体事情。
I guess there were instances in the past where there were specific things like activities that were happening that I was uncomfortable with.
嗯。
Mhmm.
比如，在我现在的这段关系之前，我男朋友曾说，我要和朋友去看场电影。
For example, there was a time before, you know, my current relationship where my boyfriend was like, I'm gonna go see a movie with my friend.
嗯。
Mhmm.
那是一对一的看电影。
It was like a one on one movie.
对我来说，这感觉就像约会，尽管对他们来说只是朋友关系。
To me, it felt like a date even though it was platonic for them.
然后我就觉得，我不喜欢这样。
Then I was like, I don't like that.
明白吗？
Know?
是的
Yeah.
还有一次，我当时的男朋友说，我要和一个女性朋友去看星星。
Another time where my then boyfriend was like, I'm gonna go stargazing with a female friend.
就他们两个人。
It was just them too.
然后我就说，我不喜欢这样。
Then I was like, I don't like that.
好的。
Okay.
这有点可疑。
That's a little sus.
我知道。
I know.
但同时，我心里清楚这些关系都是纯粹的友谊。
But also at the same time, these were friendships that I knew were platonic in my head.
好的。
Okay.
但我还是对此感到非常嫉妒。
But I still felt very jealous about it.
我明白了。
I see.
这些是我记得的重大事件，但它们也是一些小事，对吧？
These are the big events that I remember, but they're also small things, right?
比如，当时有个女孩，只要我的男朋友和她说话，我就会变得非常嫉妒。
Like there would be this one girl who, if my boyfriend at the time spoke with her, I would get super jealous.
现在回想起来，我只是想，我为什么会那么嫉妒。
And looking back, I'm just like, I wonder why I was so jealous.
很明显，那个女孩对我的男朋友毫无兴趣，反之亦然。
Like, clearly, that girl had no interest in my boyfriend and vice versa.
是的。
Yeah.
但我就是对那件事感到非常、非常嫉妒。
But I just felt very, very envious of that.
但公平地说，我觉得高中时的情况有点不同。
But to be fair, I feel like it's a little different in high school.
每个人都还很年轻，还不够成熟。
Everyone is so young and we're not as mature yet.
是的。
Yeah.
犯错是有可能的。
Mistakes could happen.
而且，有时候人们自己都不清楚想要什么。
Also, sometimes people don't even know what they want themselves.
对。
Right.
所以我觉得那时候这样是可以理解的。
And so I feel like it's fair during that time.
每个人都在摸索中。
Everyone's still figuring it out.
所以一切都像是威胁，我想。
So everything is a threat, I guess.
没错。
That's true.
而且我想，那时候的关系也稍微更不认真一些。
And I guess the other thing too is even the relationships back then were a bit more unserious.
是的。
Yeah.
所以我觉得你说得对。
So I think you're right.
没有什么感觉更稳固了。
Nothing feels more secure.
嗯。
Mhmm.
人们当时还在摸索自己和他人之间究竟是什么样的友谊，诸如此类的事情。
People were also still figuring out what kind of friendship they're having with other people and all of that stuff.
所以至少回过头来看，我觉得我们也不能太责怪自己。
So looking back at least, I'm like, well, I guess we can't blame ourselves too much.
嗯，我觉得我得回想一些陈年旧事。
Well, I felt like I kind of had to recall like vintage memories
为了这一段。
for this one.
但我很好奇，你在恋爱关系中会感到嫉妒吗？
But I'm curious if you feel jealousy in your romantic relationships.
你觉得我会吗？
Do you think I do?
说实话，我觉得你不会。
I honestly don't think so.
但如果你有过一两次那种感觉，我也不觉得奇怪。
But I wouldn't be surprised if you had, like, one or two times where you did feel it.
是的
Yeah.
我觉得这很准确。
I think that's pretty accurate.
总的来说，我并不太容易嫉妒，我想。
On average, I am not super jealous, I would say.
但我想起高中那时候，你知道的，那些旧时光，确实也有过那种感觉。
But I think back in, like, high school and stuff, you know, vintage moments, there definitely was that too.
嗯哼。
Mhmm.
你永远说不准。
You never know.
对吧？
Right?
有时候人们就是会做一些可疑的事，而你又没法替他们担保，因为你太真诚了。
Like, sometimes people just are doing sus activities, and you can't vouch for them yet because you're so True.
年轻。
Young.
每个人都在探索自我。
Everyone's still figuring themselves out.
有一次，我跟一个男生约会，然后我注意到他经常跟另一个女孩聊天。
One time, I was dating a dude and then I started to notice that he was talking to another girl a lot.
嗯。
Mhmm.
这就像拉响了警报，确实引发了一些嫉妒的情绪。
It was like ringing some alarm bells and there was definitely some jealous feelings involved.
我想那些警报确实是准确的。
I guess it ended up being accurate alarm bells.
我觉得有些行为会越界，引发某种形式的嫉妒，甚至可能是疲惫。
I think there are certain things that cross the line and would cause for some form of jealousy or maybe even, like, weariness.
对。
True.
你提出的这一点很有趣，因为嫉妒虽然是一种情绪，嗯。
It's an interesting point you bring up because jealousy, while it's a feeling Mhmm.
有时候，它也是我们的直觉在提醒我们，有什么地方不对劲。
Sometimes it's also our Spidey senses tingling of like something is wrong.
是的。
Yeah.
很难判断它属于光谱的哪一边，你知道吗？
It's hard to tell which side of the spectrum it falls on, you know?
是的。
Yeah.
有时候，我记得自己对这种嫉妒感觉特别有道理。
Sometimes I remember feeling so validated in my envy.
但后来，我只是想，哦，我想我当时有点疯狂了。
And then later on, I was just like, okay, I think I was being a little crazy here.
但其他时候，就像你说的，确实有些奇怪和可疑的事情在发生。
But other times, like you said, there is something weird and sus happening.
我觉得这正是最折磨人的地方，你知道吗？
I feel like that's like the torment of it all, you know?
没错。
Right.
你总是不断怀疑自己，同时又在试图判断自己的感受是否合理。
It's like you are always second guessing yourself and also trying to see if your feelings are valid or not.
当然。
Definitely.
天哪。
Oh my god.
其实，我想起了其他一些让我感到嫉妒的时刻。
You know, actually, I have had some other jealousy moments that I thought of.
我当时的男朋友桌上放着他和另一个女孩的照片。
My boyfriend at the time had a picture of him with another girl on his desk.
哇哦。
Woah.
我当时就想，什么？
And I was kinda like, what?
我觉得我从不要求这种事，比如你得把我们的照片到处贴满。
I feel like I don't ask for things like, oh, you need to have pictures of us all over the place.
懂吗？
Know?
是的。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
但当我看到那张照片时，我觉得有点奇怪。
But when I saw that, I was kinda like, that's weird.
而且当时有点吃醋的感觉。
And there was like a bit of jealousy feeling.
我的意思是，我觉得这种感受是合理的。
I mean, feel like that one is valid.
这让我想起我那时候的一个嫉妒时刻，当时我
And that also makes me recall like a jealousy moment that I had when I was
年纪大了一点。
a little bit older.
我觉得
I think
好像是某张照片，我觉得照片里的摆姿有点亲密。
it was like some sort of picture and I felt like the posing in the photo was, you know, kind of intimate.
我记得我当时想，好吧。
And I remember being like, okay.
这合适吗？
Is this appropriate?
我们真的应该这样摆姿势拍照吗？
Like, should we be posing for pictures like this?
老兄，就是照片而已。
Dude, pictures, man.
我觉得摆拍的姿势就那么几种，其中也有很多明显是纯友谊的姿势。
I feel like there's only so many poses, and there are the clearly platonic poses too.
确实如此。
So true.
但我有个想法。
But also, I have a thought.
有时候，你会因为你的伴侣在做什么而感到嫉妒。
Sometimes you're jealous because of what your partner is doing.
但你有没有因为别人对你的伴侣做了什么而感到嫉妒呢？
But do you ever get jealous because of what someone else is doing to your partner?
哦。
Oh.
我以前有过这种感觉。
I have been before.
是的。
Mhmm.
我不知道。
I don't know.
回想起来，我还是无法确定我的感受是否合理。
It's like looking back, I still can't tell whether my feelings were valid or not.
你明白我的意思吗？
You know what I mean?
是的。
Yeah.
我认为，随着年龄增长，这可能是自然而然发生的事——人们开始在与伴侣之外的其他人建立友谊时划清更多界限。
And I think it's maybe just something that happens naturally the older you get where people start to draw more boundaries in their friendships with other people outside of their romantic relationship.
所以现在，我处于一个比较舒适的状态。
So then now I'm at, like, a comfortable spot.
但过去确实有过一些时候，我会感到惊讶，比如你为什么跟这个人打电话，或者这么晚还跟这个人聊天，你知道的，这些事情看似琐碎到不值得提起，但同时又让人感到不舒服。
But there have been times in the past where I would be like, oh, I'm like surprised you're on the phone with this person or like talking to this person so late or like, you know, like things that feel too petty to bring up, but then also at the same time make you kind of uncomfortable.
是的。
Yeah.
所以我觉得，从某种程度上说，我必须提出那些让我感到不舒服的事情。
So I feel like in some ways, I had to bring up those things made me uncomfortable.
但在其他方面，这些事情自然就不再发生了。
And then in other ways, it just naturally stopped happening.
有意思。
Interesting.
它们自然就不再发生了。
They naturally stopped happening.
从我的角度来看。
From my POV.
那里有点小谜团。
Little mystery going on there.
我完全同意，随着年龄增长，学会设立更清晰的界限。
I totally agree with the learning to set more clear boundaries as we get older.
另外，我想到这个话题时，觉得这可能是那种老生常谈的情境之一——也许有人喜欢你的伴侣。
Also, what I was thinking about with this question was, I think it's one of the, like, cliche slash age old situations where maybe if someone likes your partner.
那你怎么处理这种情况呢？
And then it's like, well, how do you deal with that?
对。
Right.
你会让伴侣停止和这个人来往，还是尽量温和地拒绝他，即使这真的有温和的方式吗？
Do you tell your partner to stop talking to this person or let them down easy if there even is an easy way?
这确实是个有趣的问题。
That is an interesting one.
在我看来，你无法阻止别人喜欢你的伴侣，但你的伴侣的行为应该符合你们关系的背景规范。
From my point of view, you can't stop someone else from liking your partner, but your partner's behavior is something that should be appropriate in the context of your relationship with him.
比如，他不能一味地接受奉承并给对方错误的暗示。
You know, like he can't be like flattered and leading this person on.
他应该主动设立界限。
He should be the one setting boundaries.
嗯。
Mhmm.
对我来说，如果他没有主动对这个人设定明确的界限，我会很担心。
And then for me, I feel like if he wasn't actively setting firm boundaries with this person, that would worry me.
我在想，你为什么不做这件事呢？
I'm like, why aren't you doing that?
你知道的吧？
You know?
是的。
Yeah.
因为作为第三方，或者说是被他人情感影响的人，你能做的其实很有限。
Because there's only so much you can do as a third party slash person that is being affected by someone else's feelings.
对。
Yeah.
但归根结底，还是你的伴侣有责任对你表现出适当的行为。
But I guess at the end of the day, it's like your partner that owes you proper behavior.
但我要说，最近我注意到有几次，好像有个员工在对哦我的天啊，暗送秋波。
But I will say recently there's been instances where I notice like a worker potentially flirting with Oh my my god.
我觉得如果我年轻一点，可能会为此感到嫉妒。
And I feel like if I was younger, I would feel jealous about it.
但在这个年纪，而且我对这段关系感到如此安心，我几乎觉得有点被恭维，甚至有点自豪。
But at this age and, like, with how secure I feel in this relationship, I almost feel, like, flattered in a way or, like, proud.
我想，好吧。
I'm like, okay.
太棒了。
Slay.
天哪。
Dude.
好吧。
Okay.
你觉得结婚后，更多人会向你丈夫搭讪吗？
Do you feel like it's true that after you're married, more people flirt with your husband?
是的。
Yeah.
我确实有这种感觉。
I actually do.
这是真的吗？
Is that a thing?
因为我从来没听说过。
Because I've never heard of it.
什么？
What?
这确实是个现象，因为有些人认为，当他们看到一个已婚男人，戴着婚戒之类的，
It's it's a thing because some people theorize that it's like when they see a committed man, you know, with the wedding ring and everything.
哦，如果他足够好，能被别人选中，那就相当于经过筛选了。
Oh, if he was good enough for someone else, then he's been vetted kind of.
这太搞笑了。
That is so funny.
如果这真是个现象，那就说得通了。
If it is a thing, then it makes sense.
但就在过去两年左右，我注意到有几次，感觉员工对我特别友好。
But literally within the past like two years or something, I've noticed a couple instances where I feel like the employee is being extra friendly.
天哪。
Oh my god.
这和他们对我缺乏友好形成鲜明对比。
And it's like in contrast to the lack of friendliness towards me.
我已经学会坦然面对了。
I've learned to take it in stride.
我就想，好吧。
I'm like, okay.
这意味着我有个特别有魅力的丈夫，我为此感到骄傲。
That means I have, like, a very attractive husband and I'm, like, proud of it.
哇。
Wow.
等等。
Wait.
我为你感到骄傲。
I'm so proud of you.
我觉得你有性格上的成长。
I feel like there's character development.
这是成长的速度。
It's growth rate.
是的。
Yeah.
好吧。
Okay.
这基本上是我的思考方式。
This is kind of my thought process.
如果有时候你的伴侣被人搭讪或类似的情况。
If there are moments where maybe your partner is being flirted with or something like that.
就像在想，哦，反正这个家伙最终还是回家找我。
It's like, oh, well, this dude's coming home to me anyway.
就像是啊。
Like Yeah.
他也没有给我任何理由去怀疑别的。
And he's given me no reason to suspect otherwise.
那里没有任何嫉妒。
There's no jealousy there.
而且，是的，我觉得确实有一种自豪感，就像你所说的。
And yeah, I think there is almost a sense of pride like you said.
就像是，真棒。
It's like, nice.
我选了一个有吸引力的，嗯，不错的选择。
I chose an attractive, like, choice.
完全没错。
Totally.
我想关键在于他并没有回应那些 flirt。
I guess the line is he's not flirting back.
我想，一旦我觉得他在对我调情，我就会有问题。
I guess the second I felt like he was flirting back, I would have a problem with it.
但只要他没有，我就觉得天哪。
But as long as he's not, I'm like, oh my god.
太好了。
Yay.
我的丈夫被人仰慕。
Like, my husband is getting admired.
好吧。
Okay.
但如果他们为了你的利益在回应他的调情呢？
But what if they're flirting back for some pros for you?
比如，是个店员什么的，然后詹姆斯回应了，你们就能拿到百分之二十的折扣。
You know, it's a store clerk or something, and then James flirts back and you guys get, like, 20% off.
老兄，我对这个感觉不太确定。
Dude, I don't know how I feel about that.
实际上，你提到这个还挺有意思的，因为作为一个女孩，在二十岁出头的时候，确实会遇到这样的问题：你的男朋友是否能接受你在俱乐部跟男生调情来换免费饮品？
Actually, that's funny that you bring it up because in your, like, early twenties as a girl, that is sort of something that comes up of, is your boyfriend okay with you flirting with guys at a club to get free drinks?
嗯。
Mhmm.
你以前听说过这种情况吗？
Like, have you heard of this situation before?
是的。
Yeah.
对我来说，也许因为我比较传统，作为女生，我不会觉得这样做很自在。
To me, maybe because I'm more old fashioned, I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that as the girl.
我不愿意为了免费饮品去跟别人调情，因为我会觉得这对不起我的男朋友之类的。
Like, I wouldn't wanna flirt with someone to get free drinks because I would feel like it's like a disservice to my boyfriend or something.
是的。
Yeah.
但我认识很多人，很多情侣，他们对这种情况完全无所谓。
But I know tons of people, tons of relationships, they're like totally fine with that situation.
但说这么多，如果詹姆斯为了打八折还反过来调情，我会说：得了吧，老兄。
But all that to say, if James was flirting back for like 20% off, I'd be like, come on, man.
好吧。
Okay.
如果是五折呢？
What if it was 50% off?
天啊。
Damn.
在这个经济环境下？
Like, in this economy?
你说得对。
You're right.
你说得对。
You're right.
五折的话，我得好好想想。
50, I would have to think about it.
你知道的。
You know?
20% 就是，算了吧。
20% is like, come on.
你比我强多了。
You're better than mine.
50% 的话，我得花点时间想想，比如给我十分钟，你懂的，让我消化一下。
50 enough, it's just like, give me like a ten minute, you know, time to process.
我们快速开个会，然后你就可以回到场上。
We'll do a quick huddle and then you can go back on the field.
你就说，我要去车里。
You're like, I'm gonna go to the car.
是的。
Yeah.
我其实经常问我男朋友那个关于饮料的问题。
I actually always ask my boyfriend that drink question.
他怎么说？
What does he say?
他说不行。
He says no.
我心想，好吧，真无奈。
I'm like, damn, fine.
花钱吧。
Spend your money.
是的。
Yeah.
詹姆斯总是说，我请你喝酒。
James is always like, I can buy you drinks.
这太无聊了，因为他们根本无所谓。
That's like, you know, so boring because they're fine.
不过我确实会试着稍微推一推。
I I I try to, like, push it a bit though.
我心想，真的吗？
I'm like, really?
我们会双双得到免费饮料。
I would be getting free drinks for both of us.
是的。
Yeah.
你根本不用花一分钱。
You wouldn't have to spend a penny.
是的。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
他却说，我不确定。
And he's like, I don't know.
我对此还是不太舒服。
I still don't feel that great about it.
展开剩余字幕（还有 372 条）
不过这太搞笑了。
That's so funny, though.
比如，存在一个价格点，过了这个点就突然可以接受了。
Like, the concept of there being a price where it's suddenly okay.
你懂的。
You know?
我当时就想，我们马上就要买一栋十亿美元的房子了。
I'm like, we're we're about to get a billion dollar house.
那好吧。
Okay then.
去吧。
Go for it.
是的。
Yeah.
好的。
Okay.
实际上，我更进一步了，我问自己，如果我得哄着某个超级有钱的男人怎么办？
Actually, I have turned it up a notch and I asked, what if I had to, like, string along some really rich dude?
然后他就真的把我当成了他的金丝雀。
And then he he just, like, treated me like his sugar baby.
然后我们住进了一栋超级豪华的房子。
And then we had, like, a rich ass house.
而且他并不介意我们正在约会。
And he doesn't mind that we're dating.
是的。
Yeah.
那他怎么说？
So what did he say?
我觉得他思考了一下。
I think he thought about it for a second.
他好像说，也许吧。
He was like, maybe.
实际上，好吧。
Actually, okay.
有两个答案。
There were two answers.
我忘了哪个是‘也许’，但 definitely 有一个是他说‘不行’。
And I forget which one was the maybe, but there was definitely one where he was like, just no.
中间一定有什么地方改变了金额。
There must have been a money number change somewhere in between.
你就像说，好吧。
You're like, okay.
10亿美元，是的。
$1,000,000,000 Yeah.
每天。
Every day.
然后他就像说，哦，也许吧。
And then he's like, oh, maybe.
好的。
Okay.
实际上，我有个问题想问你。
Actually, I have a question for you.
嗯。
Mhmm.
因为我们刚刚聊到，除了你生命中少数几个确实合理的感到嫉妒的时刻外
Because we just talked about how aside from a couple of moments in your life where you felt jealous about pretty valid moments
谢谢。
Well, thanks.
你通常并不太容易天生就嫉妒。
You generally you generally don't tend to be like a naturally jealous person.
是的。
Yeah.
所以你觉得这会不会吸引那些可能更容易嫉妒的男人？
So do you feel like that attracts men who are potentially more jealous?
哦，等等。
Oh, wait.
我不知道。
I don't know.
因为可能在关系更深入之前，你不会发现我其实并不太容易嫉妒。
Because maybe you wouldn't find out that I'm, like, not super jealous until further along in the relationship.
对。
Right.
但与此同时，也许你缺乏嫉妒心是由你其他性格特质所体现的。
But at the same time, maybe your lack of jealousy is implied by other personality types that you have.
比如你性格随和、冷静，同时也自信。
Like your characteristic of being like pretty chill, calm, but also like confident.
我觉得这些迹象表明你可能不会过于焦虑或特别嫉妒。
I feel like these are signs that you might not be super anxious or, like, super jealous.
也许另一种情况是，我会做一些事情，虽然不会让我嫉妒，但可能会让我的伴侣感到嫉妒。
Maybe alternatively, I might do stuff where I feel like it wouldn't make me jealous, but it might make my partner feel jealous.
哦，有意思。
Oh, interesting.
而且就是无法
Also, just can't
停止去想，最近我男朋友总是碰上一些著名的女子高尔夫球手。
stop thinking about how so lately, my boyfriend's been, I guess, bumping into famous, like, famous woman golfers.
对。
Right.
每次他这么干，你或者詹姆斯看到了，就会向我告状。
Every time he does and, like, you or James sees it, like, you guys tattle on him.
我们会在四人聊天群里直接曝光他，还附上照片证据。
We straight up expose him in our four person group chat with photographic evidence.
然后就说：Crystal，快来领走你的男人。
And it's like, Crystal, come get your man.
我通常都会说：哦，不错啊。
And I'm I'm usually like, oh, nice.
去吧。
Go for it.
是的。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
你通常都会给他一些鼓励的话
You usually have like words of encouragement
对你男朋友。
for your boyfriend.
我觉得这太好笑了。
I just find it so funny.
最搞笑的是，我男朋友会说，天啊，真的没什么。
And the the funniest part too is that like, my boyfriend will be like, oh god, like, know, like, it's nothing.
没什么大不了的。
Like, whatever.
我就说，哦，这完全没问题。
And I'm like, oh, it's like totally fine.
你就会说，好吧。
You're like, cool.
他就会说，我发誓，这看起来不像那么回事。
He's like, I swear it isn't what it looks like.
天哪。
Oh my god.
最搞笑的是詹姆斯最近发的一张照片，我男朋友的手臂几乎环着那个人，因为他们正在拍照。
And the funniest one was the most recent picture James had sent was like, my boyfriend's arm is almost around the person because they were taking a photo.
我们越看詹姆斯拍的那张照片，就越觉得这事儿有问题。
And the more we looked at that photo that James snapped, the more incriminating it looked.
那是一张从远处拍的照片，因为詹姆斯当时坐在车里，在停车场。
It's like a photo taken from afar because James was sitting in his car, like, the parking lot.
所以詹姆斯和克里斯托尔的男朋友之间明明隔着一道铁丝网。
So there's straight up like a chain link fence in between James and Crystal's boyfriend.
但你透过铁丝网放大看，简直太劲爆了。
But it's like you zoom in through the chain link fence and it's so scandalous.
那张照片背后的内幕是，詹姆斯拍完照后，我想他放大一看，发现画面太暧昧了。
The behind the scenes lore of that was after James took that photo, I think he zoomed in and saw how scandy it was.
所以他把照片发给我，问我：‘我该不该发到群聊里？’
So he texted the picture to me and he was like, should I send this in the chat?
我好害怕。
I'm scared.
等等，我之前不知道这件事。
Wait, I didn't know that.
是的。
Yeah.
但我当时在上课什么的，没看到照片，等我后来看到时，他已经足够有底气把照片发到群聊里了。
But I was like at a class or something, like, I didn't see it till later and then he had already felt encouraged enough to send it to the group chat anyway.
一片沉默。
Silence.
哦，她什么都没说。
Oh, she didn't say anything.
那一定意味着不错。
That must mean it's good.
但我其实觉得这是个好迹象。
I actually feel like it's a good sign though.
我的意思是，当然，这都是开玩笑的。
I mean, of course, it's all in jest.
他明显没有做任何荒唐的事。
He's clearly not doing anything ridiculous.
但我认为，当情侣们能把可能引发嫉妒的事情变成一个大笑话，笑着讨论，以非常健康的方式沟通时，这总是个好迹象。
But I think it's always a good sign when couples can take something that could potentially make someone jealous and then make a huge joke out of it, laugh about it, and just have like a very healthy way to like talk through it.
是的。
Yeah.
我还觉得特别好笑，因为你和詹姆斯去打小报告。
I also thought it was really funny because you and James tattling.
但后来，情况变成了你和詹姆斯为Jimin辩护，而实际上根本没人指责他。
But then at some point, it turns into you and James defending Jimin against no one.
是的。
Yeah.
我们觉得，好吧，这张照片看起来是不太好，但也没那么糟。
We're like, okay, the photo looks bad, but it's not that bad.
相信我。
Like, trust me.
你心想，好吧。
You're like, okay.
老兄，但你有没有想过，如果情况反过来会怎样？
Dude, but what do you think would happen if the situation were flipped?
有一次在球场，一位著名的PGA球员在那儿，你正在拍照，他手臂搭在你身上。
There was a famous PGA player at the range and then you were taking a photo and he had his arm around you.
天啊。
Oh my god.
我觉得你男朋友会恶心到想吐。
I think your boyfriend would be sick to his stomach.
嗯，我不确定。
Well I don't know.
我也能想象他会是个粉丝，觉得天啊，真不敢相信你居然能碰到罗里·麦克罗伊。
I can also see him also being a fanboy of that person and being like, oh my god, I can't believe you got to touch Rory McElroy
或者类似的情况。
or something.
他可能会嫉妒他，但也可能嫉妒你。
He could be jealous of him, but he could also be jealous of you.
是的。
Yeah.
等等。
Wait.
说真的，这太对了。
That is so true, actually.
好的。
Okay.
你觉得有什么事情会让詹姆斯吃醋吗？
Do you think there's anything that would make James jealous?
我觉得詹姆斯确实时不时会感到嫉妒。
I think James actually does feel jealous from time to time.
嗯，是啊。
Uh-huh.
那一次我参加了一个单身派对旅行。
It's not like often, but there's this time I was on a bachelorette trip.
当时就我们几个女生。
It was like a bunch of us girls.
对吧？
Right?
于是我和旅行中的另一个女孩去吧台，打算给我们整个团队点一堆饮料。
So then me and this other girl from the trip, we went up to the bar and we were gonna order a bunch of drinks for our entire party.
嗯。
Mhmm.
然后有几个男生走过来跟我们搭话，说要请我们喝酒。
And then these guys came up to us, started talking to us, and they were like, we wanna buy you drinks.
我们说：哦，不用了。
We were like, oh, no.
不用。
No.
我们要给整个团队点十杯龙舌兰 shot。
We're gonna buy 10 tequila shots.
没事的。
Like, it's fine.
但他们还是坚持帮我们买了。
And then they went and bought it for us anyway.
天啊。
Oh my god.
所以那显然非常友好。
So then that was obviously like very nice.
他们给我们买了饮料之后，我们就悄悄溜走了，你知道的？
And then after they bought us the drinks, we did like the slow fade away, you know?
是的。
Yeah.
然后我跟詹姆斯复述了这件事。
And then I was like recounting it to James.
我说，真不错。
Was like, nice.
你知道吗？那些人给我们买了好多饮料。
Know, these guys bought us hella drinks.
是的。
Yeah.
不用花自己的钱，真好。
It's nice that we don't have to spend our own money.
然后他说，唉，真希望我是那个给你们买饮料的人，这样你们就不必跟这些家伙打交道了。
And then he was like, oh, I wish I was the person like buying you guys drinks or something so that you didn't have to talk to these guys.
我觉得这真的很贴心。
And I thought that was very nice.
他并没有特别嫉妒，完全没有。
And he wasn't like extremely, like, green with envy or anything.
对啊。
Right.
对啊。
Right.
但我心想，天哪。
But I was like, oh my god.
这还挺可爱的。
Like, that's cute.
他有点吃醋了。
Like, he's a little jealous.
哇。
Wow.
这可真少见。
That's a rare sight.
我觉得我从未在公共场合见过詹姆斯吃醋。
I feel like I've never seen James jealous in a public situation.
确实有过好几次，他都吃醋了，但每次都是私下里沟通解决的。
There's been time like, multiple times where he was jealous and then it's always, like, talked through in private.
是的。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
他从来不会，比如，闹出什么场面。
Like, he'll never, like, make a scene.
对。
Right.
这还挺可爱的。
That is kinda cute.
我知道。
I know.
我当时就想，哦。
I was like, oh.
天哪。
Oh my god.
你还记得我们之前盘问朋友什么时候会吃醋吗？
Do you remember when we were grilling our friend about when he feels jealous?
他说，我就是不会吃醋。
And he was like, I just don't feel jealous.
那会儿他还是单身。
And this was when he was single.
我们
And we
我们一直追问他：这怎么可能？
were like grilling him like, how could that be?
然后我们开始举出一些极端的例子。
And then we start pulling out like extreme examples.
是的。
Yeah.
我总是好奇，当有人说自己完全不嫉妒时。
I always wonder when people claim to be very non jealous.
我觉得肯定有谎言。
I'm like, there has to be a lie.
总要付出代价的。
There's always a price.
对吧？
Right?
总归有谎言。
There's always a lie.
我觉得一定有什么原因。
I feel like there's gotta be something.
嗯。
Mhmm.
有什么东西让他们感到嫉妒。
Something that makes them jealous.
是的。
Yeah.
我觉得这也很有意思，因为在我生活中，我认识一些非常不嫉妒的人。
I think it's also interesting too because I feel like in my life, I know people who are very non jealous.
嗯。
Mhmm.
然后我也认识一些极其嫉妒的人。
And then I also know people who are extremely jealous.
所以这种对比有时让人惊叹。
So that contrast sometimes is like, wow.
嗯。
Mhmm.
但你认为，除了一个人是否容易嫉妒之外，还有其他什么特质会直接影响他们的嫉妒程度吗？
But do you think there's a characteristic outside of someone being jealous that directly impacts how jealous of a person they are?
我想举个例子，比如那些更有安全感的人往往不太容易嫉妒，或者还有其他因素会影响吗？
I guess an example is, like, people who are more secure tend to be less jealous or whatnot, or, like, is there other factors that go into it?
我觉得是有的。
I I think there is.
而且有时候，甚至不一定是个体性格的问题。
And maybe sometimes it's not even necessarily a personal trait.
还记得之前几期我说过，有个特别专一的男生吗？
Remember a couple episodes when I said, like to have a very devoted guy.
对吧？
Right?
我怎么可能忘得了？
How could I forget?
我觉得这绝对是一个因素。
I feel like that is definitely a factor.
比如，如果我的伴侣不是那样，如果他们没有表现出自己完全投入，那我可能会对他们的一些行为和举动产生更多疑虑。
Like, if my partner wasn't like, if they didn't express that they're, like, fully in it, then maybe I would have a little bit more doubt towards their actions and stuff.
这也许甚至和你之前说的有关。
Maybe that even ties into what you had said earlier.
你希望你的伴侣能让你在关系中感到安全和自信。
You want your partner to make you feel safe and confident in the relationship.
你知道，如果他们不具备这种能力，那可能就不太有吸引力了
You know, maybe if they don't have that ability, then it's not attractive to
你。
you.
嗯。
Mhmm.
然后它就会，比如说，
And then it, like,
那就不想再待在那段关系里了。
don't wanna be in that relationship then.
实际上，这是个非常好的观点。
Actually, that's a really good point.
这几乎像是我们在调整自己，减少怀疑或恐惧在关系中出现的可能性。
It's almost like we're correcting for it or reducing the chances of having doubt or, like, fear in the relationship.
嗯。
Mhmm.
因为我觉得，就像你说的，我是个更容易吃醋的人。
Because I think, like you said, I am someone who knows I am more jealous.
我觉得这反过来让我更被那些没有太多暧昧关系、不会让我感到不安的人吸引，诸如此类的人。
And I feel like that in turn makes me more attracted to people who, like, don't have a lot of loose ends or, like, relationships that might make me feel insecure, things like that.
是的。
Yeah.
我想，从深层次来说，我们其实都清楚自己需要什么。
I guess deep down, we just, like, know what we need in a sense.
是的。
Yeah.
就像是，如果我要和你约会，而你却想把我变成一个嫉妒成性的怪物，那我为什么要和你约会呢？
It's like, well, if I'm gonna date you and you're gonna try to turn me into this jealous monster, like, why would I date you?
对吧？
Right?
没错。
True.
没错。
True.
没错。
True.
比如，咱们把她藏起来吧。
Like, let's keep her in the closet.
我不需要她的爪子露出来。
I don't need her claws to come out.
是的。
Yeah.
因为我觉得那样做还会带来其他复杂问题。
Because I feel like there's also additional complications with that too.
有时候你会开始对自己进行心理操控。
Sometimes you start to gaslight yourself a bit.
对吧？
Right?
你会想，我是不是疯了。
You're like, I'm going crazy.
或者，我是不是精神出问题了？
Or like, am I crazy?
到底发生了什么？
Like, what is happening?
对吧？
Right?
是的。
Yeah.
我觉得这完全可能成为一个不想要的结果。
I feel like that could totally be a unwanted result.
但我认为，此外，自信和安全感确实有帮助。
But I think, additionally, confidence and security does help.
就我自己而言，我对关系的看法是，它就像是生活中的一个额外加分项。
Just speaking to myself, the way that I view relationships is, like, it's a bonus in life.
哇哦。
Woah.
有意思。
Interesting.
基本上，在生活中，让我自己开心是我的责任。
Basically, in life, it's my responsibility to keep myself happy.
对吧？
Right?
所以，能够拥有一段关系，只不过是生活中的一个额外加分项。
So, like, to be able to have a relationship, that is just, like, a bonus feature.
我不需要一段关系来让我快乐。
I don't need a relationship to, like, make me happy.
因此，如果一段关系并没有让我感到满足，你知道的，它带来的烦恼多于快乐，
So because of that, if a relationship just isn't doing it for me, you know, it's causing more upset than happiness
嗯。
Mhmm.
那我就知道，我可以结束这段关系，从而更快乐。
Then I know that I can cut off that relationship and be happier.
是的。
Yeah.
所以我觉得，这也是另一点。
So I think, like, that's another thing.
时刻牢记这一点。
Keeping that in mind.
就像，哦，我不需要这个来获得快乐。
It's like, oh, I don't need this to be happy.
所以没什么理由去嫉妒某些事情，因为如果这段关系带来的问题多于它带来的解决方案或快乐，那我就该直接结束它。
So there's no reason to be, I guess, like, jealous about certain things because it's like, well, if this relationship is causing more problems than solutions slash happiness, then I should just get rid of it.
哦，这简直就像你一个人时的默认状态就已经达到了百分之百的满足和快乐。
Oh, that's very it's almost like your default by yourself is at, like, a 100% satisfaction and happiness anyway.
所以如果这段关系达不到百分之百，那就根本没法接受。
So then if the relationship is not at a 100%, then it's a deal breaker.
是的。
Yeah.
这关系必须得特别特别好。
Like, it has to be a really fucking good relationship.
否则，干嘛还浪费时间？
Otherwise, why even bother?
是的。
Yeah.
我的伴侣唯一的竞争对手可能就是我自己。
Like, my partner's only competition is probably me.
那个单身的我。
My single self.
对。
Right.
对。
Right.
对。
Right.
老兄，我真的喜欢这一点。
Dude, I really like that.
这对我来说有点鼓舞人心。
That's, like, kind of inspiring to me.
我的看法其实很不一样，但我觉得我在某种程度上正走向同一个终点。
I mean, I have, like, a very different outlook, but I feel like I'm getting to the same destination in a sense.
我经常谈到自己非常重视家庭，一直渴望拥有一个家庭。
I have talked a lot about how I'm like very family oriented, have always wanted a family.
成为父母是我非常期待的事情。
Becoming a parent is something that I very much look forward to.
是的。
Yeah.
但我意识到，拥有这个目标并不意味着我不能当下就成为一个完整的人。
But I realized that having that goal doesn't mean that I shouldn't be a whole person as I am.
对。
Right.
比如，即使我希望拥有一个幸福的家庭，那是我人生的基本单位，也不代表我独自一人时就不该达到百分之百的快乐和满足。
Like, just because I wanna be in a happy family and that's, like, the base unit that I wanna live my life as, doesn't mean that me by myself shouldn't be at 100% happiness, 100% satisfaction.
嗯哼。
Mhmm.
我觉得在过去几个月，大概是六个月左右，我逐渐达到了一种状态，对自己实现人生目标和获得幸福感到非常满意。
And I feel like in the last, I don't know, a few months, like six months, whatever, I've been getting there where I'm like so pleased with me achieving my goals or my happiness in life.
我意识到，这让我对生活中其他一切的看法都变得更加美好。
And I've realized that that just enhances the way that I see everything else in my life.
作为一个独立且快乐的人，只会让其他一切都变得更好。
Being an independent and happy person as I am just makes everything else so much better.
我心想，哇。
And I'm like, wow.
这太不可思议了。
This is crazy.
我觉得这也会让一段关系变得更好，因为是的。
And I feel like it makes a relationship better too because Yeah.
你把你的幸福带入了这段关系。
You're bringing your happiness to the relationship.
然后两个人在一起， hopefully，幸福就翻倍了。
And then together, hopefully, that's like two x happiness.
对吧？
Right?
是的。
Yeah.
而且我认为这给了我空间和机会，让我不会对生活中的小事斤斤计较。
And I think it gives me the space and opportunity to like not nitpick at things in my life.
因为我快乐，所以我不需要去刻意找出问题所在。
Because I'm happy, I don't need to like pinpoint a problem.
但当我并不快乐时，我会去寻找究竟是什么导致了我的悲伤或沮丧。
But when I'm not happy, I'm looking for what is the thing causing me my like sadness or my frustration.
然后这会让我开始挑剔事物，或者对那些快乐时能一笑置之的事情变得更加敏感，你知道的。
And then that makes me start to pick apart things or be more sensitive to things that happy me would be able to just laugh off, you know.
对。
Yeah.
而且，当然，总会有一些起起落落。
And, of course, there's always, like, the ups and downs.
但是，像
But, like
是的。
Yes.
努力保持那种百分之百快乐的状态，确实非常有帮助。
Trying to maintain that, like, more 100% happy self is, like, definitely super helpful.
是的。
Yeah.
但这让我想到了下一个问题。
But that does bring me to the next question
好的。
Okay.
正如你所说，生活中总有起起落落。
Which I think, as you said, there's always ups and downs.
不可避免地，生活中总会有一些时刻让你感到嫉妒。
Inevitably, there are moments in life where you do feel jealousy.
嗯。
Mhmm.
所以当这种情况发生时，你如何应对？
So when that happens, how do you deal with it?
这既适用于恋爱关系中，也适用于关系之外，两种情况都包括。
And this is in or outside of a romantic relationship, like, both contexts.
我认为如果是在一段关系中，我可能需要先分析是什么引发了这种嫉妒。
I think if it's, like, in a relationship, maybe I'll have to assess what caused this jealousy.
这值不值得和对方谈一谈？
Is it worth talking it out?
因为有时候和伴侣聊一聊，听听他们的看法会很有帮助。
Because sometimes it's helpful to talk it out with your partner, get their perspective.
一旦你真正理解了原因，就会发现，其实自己根本没有理由嫉妒。
Once you really understand it, you're like, oh, I actually have no reason to be jealous for this.
而且，我现在完全理解了他们当时的视角，听到这些让人感到安心。
And, like, now I totally understand what's happening in their POV too, and it's a reassuring thing to hear.
对。
Right.
但我认为也有一些时候，你会觉得，好吧，这可能有点傻。
But I think also there's moments where you're like, okay, I think this is maybe a little stupid.
或者，你知道，这是我觉得自己能克服的事情。
Or, like, you know, it's something that I feel like I can get over.
是的。
Yeah.
然后也许你会陷入一些自我怜悯，感受这种嫉妒情绪，但希望之后能重新振作起来。
Then maybe it's like, you wallow in some self pity and and and, like, feel the jealousy, hopefully bounce back after that.
对。
Right.
对。
Right.
好。
Yeah.
也许你会向朋友倾诉，说：‘唉，我知道这很傻，但它确实让我困扰。’
Maybe you, like, rant to a friend and you're like, ugh, I know this is stupid, but it's bothering me.
然后，这种发泄本身就已经足够了。
And then that rant in itself is good enough.
嗯嗯。
Mhmm.
我觉得有时候，当我浏览社交媒体时，确实会感到嫉妒或羡慕。
I think actually, like, I do sometimes feel jealousy or envy when I'm looking at social media.
然后我会想，天啊。
And I'm like, oh my god.
这些人现在过得如此精彩。
These people are, like, living such fun lives right now.
对。
Right.
所以实际上，我已经减少了使用社交媒体的时间，哦。
So actually, I've cut down on my social media time Oh.
无意中减少的。
Unintentionally.
我最近才意识到这一点。
I just realized kind of recently.
我想，嗯，我好像已经不太刷Instagram了。
I was like, oh, I guess I, like, don't really scroll through Instagram that much anymore.
我觉得这其实帮助很大，因为这样你就能更专注于自己。
And I feel like that actually helps a lot because then you can really focus on yourself.
老兄，这个观点太棒了，因为正如我们之前聊到的，最近是情人节。
Dude, that's such a good point because recently, as we talked about, it was Valentine's Day.
嗯。
Mhmm.
在和我丈夫以及他家人度过了一段非常愉快而充实的一天后，我洗完澡躺下，开心地打开Instagram。
After a really fun and fulfilling day of hanging out with my husband and his family, I laid down after my shower and was, like, happily opening Instagram.
然后那天我翻遍了所有Instagram的故事。
And then I tapped through all the IG stories that day.
你知道的，在情人节那天，人人都发帖说：‘祝我爱人情人节快乐。’
And, you know, on Valentine's Day, everyone posts like, oh, happy Valentine's Day to my love.
天啊。
Like, oh my god.
鲜花、巧克力，这个那个的。
Flowers, chocolate, this, that.
当我刷完20个Instagram故事时，我开始对那些晒女友或妻子的男朋友感到嫉妒。
As I was clicking through 20 IG stories, I started to feel really jealous of all these boyfriends posting their girlfriends or their wives.
然后我意识到，这种嫉妒根本从一开始就不存在，因为你知道，我不是个热衷社交媒体的人。
And then I realized that it was jealousy that didn't even exist in the first place because, as you know, I'm not a big social media person.
我其实不太喜欢发帖，也不太喜欢被别人发帖。
I don't like posting or, like, getting posted that much, really.
然后我想，等等。
And I was like, wait.
我为什么会对根本不需要的东西感到虚假的嫉妒呢？
Why am I feeling phantom jealousy for something I don't even want?
你懂我的意思吧？
You know what I mean?
是的
Yeah.
这个分析太棒了。
That's such a good analysis.
好吧。
Okay.
但有一次，詹姆斯在他的社交媒体上发帖了，而詹姆斯平时也不怎么发帖。
But one time, James posted on his social media, and James also doesn't post that much.
对啊。
Right.
他发了一堆来自西雅图的照片，而你正好是最后一张照片。
And he posted a bunch of glass from Seattle, and you were, like, the last photo.
然后所有的评论都在问：金智秀在哪？
And then all the comments are, like, where's Jisoo?
我
I
我觉得那时候，你的朋友们都对你有点嫉妒。
feel like at that point, your friends were jealous for you.
我直到看了评论才意识到问题出在哪里。
I didn't even realize what the problem was until I read the comments.
然后我就想，等等。
And then I was like, wait.
现在我生气了。
Now I'm mad.
这真是太搞笑了。
That was super funny.
但我完全同意你关于这种虚拟嫉妒的看法，因为今年情人节我就做过类似的事。
But I totally agree with you about this phantom jealousy because I did a very similar thing this past Valentine's Day.
我打开Instagram，刷了一会儿。
I did open up Instagram and I scrolled through it for a bit.
然后我就想，哇。
And I was like, wow.
像这些人的礼物和浪漫的约会都特别美好。
Like, some of these people are getting, like, such beautiful gifts and, like, beautiful date nights.
除了你提到的这种虚假的嫉妒之外，我还意识到，如果我真的想要这样的东西，我完全可以直接开口要。
And then what I also realized in addition to the phantom jealousy that you mentioned was if I wanted something like this, I could have just asked.
完全正确。
Totally.
是的。
Yeah.
很明显，我不想要这些，因为我根本没开口要。
It's like, clearly, didn't want this because I did not ask.
对。
Yeah.
对吧？
Right?
我觉得这又是一个清晰的结论。
I think that was like another clarifying conclusion.
有时候，这些小小的嫉妒情绪，你是可以采取行动的。
Sometimes these little bits of jealousy, you can do something about it.
你只要问出来就行了。
You just ask.
是的。
Yeah.
真的很有道理。
It's so true.
这听起来可能有点傻，但我感觉有30%的时候，当我感到嫉妒时，事后回想起来，我会觉得其实我只是无聊而已，你知道吗？
This is gonna sound kinda dumb, but I feel like 30% of the time when I'm feeling jealous, I think about it later and I was like, I think I was just bored, you know?
就像是在找点事做或找点感觉，而那天我恰好选了嫉妒这种情绪。
It's like looking for something to do or feel and jealousy was like what I picked that day.
现在我一直在回想那些感到嫉妒的时刻。
Now I just keep thinking about moments of jealousy.
是的。
Yeah.
你可以直接采取行动的地方。
Where you can just take action.
你知道吗，有时候我会想，哇，我嫉妒那个去了某个奇妙美丽地方的人。
You know, maybe sometimes I'm like, wow, I'm jealous of this person who traveled to this, like, amazing beautiful place.
那为什么我不为自己计划一次去那里的旅行呢？
Well, then why don't I just plan myself a trip for that?
是的。
Yeah.
确实如此。
It's so true.
我知道。
I know.
我觉得，当我特别挑剔、敏感又嫉妒的时候，我其中一个有毒的特质就是，与其自己去解决或实现它，我反而会去吵架什么的。
I feel like one of my toxic traits sometimes when I am feeling really nitpicky, sensitive, and jealous is, like, instead of doing something myself about it to, like, fix it or make it happen later Mhmm.
我会找茬或者闹矛盾。
I'll, like, pick a fight or something.
就像你说的，如果我看到有人去了日本，嗯。
Like you said, if I see someone went to Japan Mhmm.
如果我真的想去，我完全可以想，天啊，我们什么时候去一趟日本吧。
And I really wanna go, I could easily be like, oh my god, we should go to Japan sometime.
嗯。
Mhmm.
但如果那天我心情不好，我可能会换种方式说，你为什么从来不带我去日本？
But if I'm in a mood that day, I could instead bring it up like, how come you never take me to Japan?
你懂我的意思吧？
You know what I mean?
其实有两种方式可以应对这种情况。
There's like two ways to approach it.
天啊。
Oh my god.
太对了。
So true.
这个例子太棒了。
That's such a good example.
这会多花点功夫，但我们也完全有能力自己创造机会。
It'll be a bit of extra work, but, like, we are capable of making things happen ourselves too.
是的。
Yeah.
确实如此。
Very true.
我得说，这为一个我认为有点敏感的话题带来了一个出人意料的温暖结局。
Well, I have to say that this is a surprisingly wholesome ish end to what I think is somewhat of a sensitive topic.
嫉妒是我有时很难开口谈论的事情，因为我并不喜欢承认自己感到嫉妒或羡慕。
Jealousy is something that I feel like is hard for me to talk about sometimes because I don't like admitting that I feel jealous or I feel envy.
但这是一种非常自然的情感，我很庆幸知道还有出路
But it is a very natural feeling, and I like knowing that there's an escape route out
摆脱它。
of it.
没错。
That's true.
你本来希望这期节目充满八卦，但我们把它变成了一个温暖的节目。
You wanted this episode to be hella juicy, but we turned it into a wholesome episode.
该死。
Fuck.
我们会继续改进的。
We'll work on it.
抱歉，各位。
Sorry, guys.
感谢Crystal坐下来和我们探讨了我们其中一种更敏感的情绪——嫉妒。
Thank you, Crystal, for sitting down and talking through one of our more sensitive emotions, jealousy.
对于所有我们的听众，如果你自己有过感到嫉妒的精彩故事，或者有任何温暖的方式可以帮助自己摆脱嫉妒的困扰，欢迎随时联系我们。
For any of our listeners out there, if you yourself have a juicy story about when you felt jealous or if you have any wholesome ways to talk yourself out of jealousy flare ups, then feel free to hit us up.
我们有Instagram账号：eatyourcrustpod，也有邮箱：eatyourcrustpod@gmail.com。
We have Instagram eatyourcrustpod, and we also have email, eatyourcrustpod@gmail.com.
别忘了在Spotify、Apple Podcasts以及你收听播客的任何平台关注我们。
And don't forget to follow us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, wherever you listen to podcasts.
我们每隔一周的周三早上更新新 episodes。
We upload new episodes every other Wednesday morning.
谢谢收听。
Thanks for listening.
别忘了吃掉面包边。
And don't forget to eat your crust.
关于 Bayt 播客
Bayt 提供中文+原文双语音频和字幕，帮助你打破语言障碍，轻松听懂全球优质播客。