评估我们的心理健康领域

确实。

True.

就好像我刷到的都是最好的抖音，看到最劲爆的Reddit帖子。

It's like I get the best TikToks, see the juiciest Reddit posts.

根本放不下。

Can't put it down.

真的。

Seriously.

或者，不知怎么的，我开始看YouTube，或者想：“嘿，要不我现在看个电影？”

Or, for some reason, I start watching YouTube, or I'm like, "Hey, what if I just watch a movie right now?"

天哪。

Jesus Christ.

哦，你知道有一次发生了什么吗？

Oh, you know what happened one time?

我在看一个Reddit帖子，好像有人在评论说：“这些剧整季都很好看”之类的。

As I was reading a Reddit thread, and I think someone was commenting, like, "These are shows that are really good throughout the whole season," or whatever.

然后我就想，"我要不要看这个？"

And I'm like, "Should I watch this?

管他呢。

Fuck it.

我现在就看。"

Let me just watch it right now."

我觉得睡前刷手机这个问题不是只有我们这样。

I don't think the phone in bed problem is exclusive to us.

但有些人真的会把手机放在另一个房间。

But some people will literally leave their phone in a different room.

我也试过那样做，但结果闹钟响了我也听不到，因为声音太小了。

And I tried that, but I just didn't wake up to any of the alarms because it was too quiet.

哦。

Oh.

然后我还看到有些应用，闹钟是个游戏。

And then I also saw that there's apps where the alarm clock is a game.

所以你得解一堆数学题才能把它关掉。

So you'll have to solve a bunch of math equations before you can turn it off.

但我觉得如果你有伴侣或者和别人同住一个房间，我不想对我的伴侣那样做。

But I feel like when you have a partner or someone else that you're sharing a room with, I don't want to do that to my partner.

你懂我的意思吗？

You know what I mean?

其实我们也得调整这个，因为我男朋友醒得特别早。

Actually, we had to adjust that as well, because my boyfriend wakes up fucking early.

至少对我来说，挺早的。

At least to me, it's pretty early.

每天晚上我都会问：“你明天几点起床？”

Every night I'm like, "What time are you going to wake up tomorrow?"

他说：“早上六点。”

He's like, "6:00 AM."

我说：“搞什么鬼？”

I'm like, "What the fuck?"

那确实挺早的。

It's pretty early.

所以他不设响铃闹钟，而是用手表上的闹钟。

So instead of setting a loud alarm, he sets one on his watch.

就是那种智能手表。

Like a smartwatch.

手表会在手腕上震动，这样就不会吵到我。

It'll vibrate on his wrist, so that way it won't disturb me.

到目前为止，这个方法一直挺管用的。

And it has generally worked pretty well so far.

我记得我们几个月前好像聊过这个。

I remember we chatted about this a couple months ago, maybe.

我当时就说：“哥们，这太聪明了。”

And I was like, "Dude, that's genius."

所以我也试了试，前两天效果特别好。

So I tried it, worked amazing for two days.

然后我就一直睡过头，手表闹钟响了我都没醒。

And then I just kept sleeping through all of the watch alarms.

所以手表闹钟响了我也没醒，它还在那儿震。

So then I would sleep through the watch one, and it's still buzzing.

不会吧。

No.

手机闹钟会响，因为我设了备用闹钟。

The phone one would go off because I would have a backup.

所以床上在震，声音也在响，James就一脸无奈。

So it's vibration on the bed, plus the sound going, and James was like, "Ugh."

他说：“怎么回事？”

He's like, "What's happening?"

这确实挺难的。

It's just difficult.

幸好我起得晚，可以设个响亮的闹钟。

Luckily, because I wake up later, I can set a loud alarm.

确实。

True.

有道理。

Makes sense.

但不管怎样，我男朋友一起床，我几乎肯定会醒一下。

But regardless, when my boyfriend gets up, it's almost inevitable that I'll at least wake up for a second because of it.

我觉得那真的会打乱你的睡眠，因为虽然你回去睡了，但如果你用睡眠追踪器之类的，我觉得每次我醒了再睡回去，就不会进入快速眼动或深度睡眠——

I feel like that can really throw off your sleep, too, because sure, you go back to sleep, but if you use a sleep tracker or something, I think every time I wake up and then go back to sleep, I don't hit REM or deep sleep-

——没那么深。

... as much.

就只是浅睡。

It's just like core sleep.

睡眠确实难搞。

Sleep is hard.

我觉得睡眠很难保持规律，有时候我也觉得饮食很难坚持。

I think sleep is hard to keep consistent, and sometimes I find nutrition hard, too.

大概从去年第四季度左右开始——

Since probably like Q4-ish last year-

……

...

我开始在营养管理上更上心一些，但我觉得对我来说难的并不是记录卡路里、蛋白质或者脂肪这些，而是它对我日常生活的影响程度。

I started to be a little bit more on top of my nutrition game, but I feel like what is hard for me is not the tracking of calories or protein or the fats and stuff like that, but it's more so like how much I let it affect my day-to-day.

我一直在试着像控制杠杆一样控制它。

I've been trying to control it like a lever.

如果我觉得记录让我变得有点强迫症或者什么的，我就会暂时放一放。

If I feel like my tracking is making me feel more obsessive or something, then I'll lay off on it for a little bit.

但如果我觉得自己开始太松懈了，不太在意吃进身体里的东西，我就会重新开始简单记录一下。

But then if I feel like I'm starting to get too loose, like not caring about what I'm putting in my body, then I'll start to lightly track it again.

但有时候我觉得吃什么真的能影响我一天的状态。

But sometimes I feel like it can really swing my day based on what I'm eating.

感觉这挺难的。

Feel like that's pretty hard.

我也开始记录卡路里和宏量营养素了。

I've also started tracking my calories and macros.

我是夏初开始记录的。

I started towards the beginning of the summer.

到目前为止感觉还不错，尤其是刚开始的时候，因为那是一种新体验。

I feel like so far it's been okay, especially in the beginning, because it was like a new experience.

我当时就想，‘哇，我都没意识到我们平时吃了多少卡路里。’

I was like, "Whoa, I didn't realize how many calories we've all been eating."

有时候还挺好玩的，因为每次锻炼完，我都会想，‘来吧，看看我今天多赚了多少卡路里。’

It's still a little fun sometimes because every time I work out, I'm like, "Come on, let me see how many extra calories I earned."

但确实，有时候我也会想，‘管他呢，’

But yeah, there's definitely times where I'm kind of like, "Fuck this.

‘我今天就想随便吃。’

I'm just going to eat whatever the fuck I want today."

而且我觉得这真的很有意思，因为就像你说的，很容易就会沉迷进去，而且很容易不知不觉就掉进一个很危险的坑里。

And it, I think it's just a really interesting thing because it can be so easy to obsess over it, like you said, and it can easily become a very dangerous hole that you haven't even realized you've dug yourself into.

确实。

For sure.

我觉得数卡路里有点像打开了潘多拉的盒子。

I feel like calorie counting is kind of like opening Pandora's box.

我以前对食物、卡路里，甚至健身习惯的看法，都是非黑即白的。

I think I used to think about food and calories, even things like workout habits, in a binary.

我总想着，瘦的人这样做，胖的人那样做。

I would be like, "Skinny people do this, and then fat people do this."

或者，我可能什么都做了，但就是瘦不下来，也不知道为什么。

Or, "I might do all of these things, but I'm not losing weight because of whatever reason."

我当时有很多认知上的矛盾——

There was a lot of cognitive dissonance that I had-

……还有给各种事情贴标签，这其实没什么道理。

... and a lot of labeling of things, which doesn't really make sense.

只要愿意，每个人都能养成健康的习惯，除非你身体上有什么严重的限制之类的。

Everyone can have healthy habits if they choose to, unless you have some sort of really limiting physical factor or something.

但我觉得一旦我开始更仔细地记录，并且对自己更宽容一些，就更容易看到怎么找到平衡。

But I think once I started tracking a little bit more closely and being a little bit nicer to myself about it, it's been easier to see how I can find balance.

所以不再像以前那样想，‘我要减肥，所以只能吃那十个随便列出来的东西’——

So instead of being like, "I want to lose weight, so I can only eat these 10 things on some random list"-

……

...

我可以吃披萨，也可以吃冰淇淋，但也许之后吃顿清淡的，或者去运动消耗掉，随便怎样都行。

I can eat the pizza or I can eat the ice cream, but maybe I just have a lighter meal later or work it off or whatever.

所以这挺有帮助的。

So that's been helpful.

但我发现我的执念渗透到生活中的地方是——

But where I see my obsession bleeding into my life is-

……

...

我会发现自己对别人说一些我并不想说的话。

I'll find myself saying things that I don't want to say to other people.

哦。

Oh.

我觉得我自己心里想想，比如“我想记录卡路里，吃得清淡点，或者做点别的什么”，或者“这个我不吃了，因为不符合我的营养比例”，这都没问题。

I think it's fine for me to have thoughts of like, "Oh, I want to track my calories and eat light or do this or whatever," or like, "Oh, I'm not going to eat that because it's not going to fit into my macros."

但偶尔我会不小心在别人面前说出来，然后我就想，我可不想跟一个老是在说“这个有700卡路里”的人待在一起。

But occasionally, I'll slip up and say it when I'm around other people, and I'm like, I don't want to be around someone who's constantly being like, "This has 700 calories."

确实。

That's true.

比如，“你知道吗，这个含糖量很高。”

Like, "Did you know this has this much sugar?"

或者别的什么。

Or whatever.

偶尔当个冷知识说说还行，但没人愿意跟一个老是报卡路里数字的人待在一起，而且——

Once or twice as a fun fact is fine, but no one wants to be around the person that's constantly rattling off calorie information and-

……有时候我会发现自己这么做，尤其是在工作的时候，然后我就想，“好吧，我得放松一点。”

... sometimes I catch myself doing it, especially at work, and I'm like, "Okay, I need to relax a little bit."

我完全懂你的意思，因为自从我开始更仔细地记录饮食后，我就想，天哪，我现在知道好多卡路里信息了。

I totally get what you mean because once I started tracking more, I was like, "Oh my God, I know so much more caloric information now."

就像，我们平时就这么随便吃，真的很难忍住不说出那些想法。

Like, we just be eating this shit out here, and it's really tempting to say those thoughts out loud.

“哦，我不吃这个，因为这样那样的。”

"Oh, I'm not going to eat that because of this or whatever."

我觉得我肯定也有过类似的想法，可能也说过那样的话。

I think I've definitely had similar thoughts and probably said stuff like that as well.

不过，说到这个，我觉得和另一半住在一起对——

Actually, in this instance, though, I feel like living with your SO has interesting effects on-

——你的饮食习惯会有挺有意思的影响。

... how you eat.

对我来说，最近这段时间，有好有坏吧。

For me, lately, it's been both positive and negative.

好的一面是，我们很容易互相鼓励吃得更健康。

It's positive because it's easy to encourage each other to eat healthier.

但不好的一面是，我们也特别容易互相怂恿，变得不在乎。

But it's negative because it's also really easy to encourage each other to not care.

或者莫名其妙地吃更多。

Or to eat more for some reason.

没错。

Exactly.

就是很容易说，'今天要不要出去吃顿大餐？'

It's just so easy to be like, "Oh, today, should we just go out and eat this huge meal?"

然后另一个人就说，'好啊，管他呢。'

And then the other person's like, "Yeah, fuck it.

为什么不呢？

Why not?"

而且我们都知道现在可能不是最好的主意——

And we both know that's probably not the best idea right now-

或者类似的情况。

... or something like that.

但另一方面，有另一个人帮你保持自律也挺有帮助的，而且还能——

But then, on the other hand, it is helpful to have that extra person to keep yourself accountable and also-

……鼓励更健康的生活习惯。

... encourage healthier habits.

我觉得有个好玩的事，我男朋友说：“嘿，我觉得我最近瘦了，因为你不怎么吃零食，所以我们家里零食也少了。”

I think one funny thing is my boyfriend was like, "Dude, I think I got skinnier lately because you don't really snack," so we have less snacks in the house.

哦。

Ooh.

这个不错。

That's a good one.

他特别爱吃零食。

He's a big snacker.

所以是的。

So yeah.

这让我很有共鸣。

It's relatable to me.

我也是个爱吃零食的人。

I'm also a big snacker.

不过，是的。

But yeah.

我觉得，和伴侣一起生活，或者说同居这件事，本身可能会……

I feel like the existence or just living with your partner in general can-

……带来一些有趣的影响。

... have interesting effects.

我有时候会发现自己找各种理由不去健身房。

One thing that I catch myself doing sometimes is I'll have some sort of reason why I don't want to go to the gym today.

而不是直接说“好吧，我今天不去了，明天再去”——我会把所有的理由都跟詹姆斯说一遍，然后说：“哦，詹姆斯，我今天不能去健身房，因为我真的很累，睡眠不足，而且我现在没有足够的碳水化合物来支撑我的锻炼，等等等等。”

Instead of just being like, "Okay, I'm going to skip today and then go tomorrow"- I'll rattle off all of my reasoning to James, and I'll be like, "Oh, James, I can't go to the gym today because I'm really tired, and I didn't get enough sleep, and I don't have enough carbs to fuel my workout right now, and blah, blah, blah.

所以我明天早上再去，等等等等。”

So I'll just go tomorrow in the morning, and blah, blah, blah."

然后他就说：“好吧。”

And he's like, "Okay."

他就说：“听起来不错。”

He's like, "Sounds good to me."

我觉得他的存在在某种程度上挺让人安心的，因为当我需要那种“不去健身房也没关系”的安慰，或者需要“你应该去，反正都去了”的鼓励时，他两种都能给我。

I think his existence is kind of comforting in a sense, because when I need that reassurance of like, "Oh, it's fine to skip the gym," or when I need the encouragement to be like, "Oh, you should just go, might as well," he can do both.

所以这挺有帮助的。

So that's helpful.

但我要说，我们刚开始住在一起，我给我们做饭的时候——

But I will say, when we first started living together and I was cooking food for us-

……

...

我发现很难把握食物的分量。

I found it so difficult to understand how to portion the food out.

哦。

Oh.

因为你知道，出去吃饭的时候，比如去Chipotle之类的。

Because you know when you go out to eat, say you go to Chipotle or something.

出去吃的时候，比如去Chipotle，你一碗他一碗，分量一样，但你可能吃得少一点，留一点到后面吃，也可能全吃完，或者你们俩都吃完。

You have your bowl, he has his bowl, have the same portion, but you might eat a little bit less of your bowl, save it for later, you might eat the whole thing, or you might both finish your bowl.

但在家里，分量的活儿就落在我身上了。

But at home, it's like I'm the one portioning stuff out.

所以我每次都把食物分成对半，我把自己那份全吃完，后来我就想：“我怎么感觉在长胖，但不知道为什么。”

So I would portion everything out 50/50, finish all my food, and then later I was like, "I feel like I'm gaining weight, but I'm not sure why."

我吃的和詹姆斯一样多。

I'm eating the same food that James is.

但考虑到我们性别不同，他更高，肌肉也更多，我不该那么吃的。

But considering that we're different genders, and he is taller and has more muscle, I shouldn't have been doing that.

你就说：“其实我该吃得比詹姆斯少一点。”

You're like, "Actually, I need to eat a smaller portion than James."

我就说：“我发现我吃40%，你吃60%。”

I was like, "I think I figured out that I eat 40%, you eat 60%."

我花了这么长时间才明白过来。

And it took me all this time to understand.

等等，不过还有件好玩的事，你提到你有时候会跟詹姆斯说一堆借口，解释你为什么不去健身房。

Wait, another funny thing though, you mentioned how you sometimes just rattle off your excuses to James about why you can't go to the gym.

我注意到我几乎每周都会给吉敏发短信说：“我今天不想锻炼。”

I've noticed that I almost once a week will text Jimin and be like, "I don't want to work out today."

然后他就会说些像“你可以的”之类的话，对吧？

And then he says some generic like, "You can do it," or whatever, right?

然后我就想：“好吧，现在我觉得把话说出来了，我就要去健身房了。”

And then I'm like, "Okay, well, now I feel like I got that out of my system, and I'm going to go gym."

天哪。

Oh my God.

我完全懂你的意思。

I know exactly what you mean.

我就是需要说出来我今天不想去，但之后我还是会去的。

I just needed to say that I don't want to go today, but then I'm still going to go.

我也有同样的情况，但对我来说，我会在日历上把锻炼时间安排出来，对吧？

I have the same thing, but for me, it's like I'll block my workouts on my calendar, right?

然后有些日子我会想，'我就是提不起劲去。'

And then there are days where I'm like, "I just can't get myself to go up."

所以我会把日程往后挪，比如把周三的锻炼改到周四，因为今天实在没状态。

So I'll move the event over, like I'm delaying my workout from Wednesday to Thursday because I'm not feeling it today.

我一这么做，就能立刻起身去健身房了。

The second I do that, I'm able to get up and go to the gym.

你会想，'其实我现在就去。'

You're like, "Actually, I'm doing it right now."

我会想，'反正也不是必须的。'

I'm like, "Well, it's optional.

不如趁早把它做了。

I might as well get ahead of it."

挺有意思的，因为我很多锻炼都是下班直接去的。

It's really funny because a lot of my workouts, I go directly from work.

所以我会带上健身包，所有东西都摆在眼前。

So I'll bring my gym bag and everything and I have all my stuff just in front of me.

我就想，"我不想去了。"

I'm like, "I don't want to go anymore."

然后我就想，"好吧，"拿起健身包就直接去健身房了。

And then I'm like, "Okay," picks up gym bag and goes directly to the gym.

哎呀，天哪。

Oh, man.

我觉得即使健身已经成为你日常的一部分，你也在培养自律，但有些日子你就是他妈的完全不想去健身房。

I guess even when the gym is a part of your routine and you are building the discipline, some days you just don't fucking want to go to the gym.

有些日子真是热得要命。

Some days it's fucking hot.

我也有过这样的日子，正要去健身房，结果发现我的Apple Watch只剩10%的电了。

I've also had days where I'm about to go to the gym, and then I realize my Apple Watch is at 10% battery.

我的天哪。

Oh my God.

我就想，"哦，我不能去了。"

I'm like, "Oh, I can't go anymore."

得给那玩意儿充电。

Gotta charge that shit.

哥们儿，我现在都开始带充电器在背包里了。

Dude, I've started bringing a charger with me in my backpack.

哦。

Oh.

所以，可惜没借口了。

So no excuses, sadly.

但前几天，其实就是昨天，我的Apple Watch电量大概只有20%左右，我心想：“天哪，它能撑过这一个小时吗？”

But the other day, literally yesterday, my Apple Watch was at, I think it was at 20% or something, and I was like, "Oh my god, is it going to last the hour?"

我就想：“走着瞧吧。”

I was like, "I guess we'll see."

它撑过了一个小时吗？

Did it last the hour?

撑过了，但最后差点就没电了。

It did, but it was about to die at the end.

我现在回想了一下，发现我的状态可能跟你正好相反。因为今年早些时候，我觉得自己状态特别好，甚至私下里都会给自己打个A+。

I'm reflecting now, and I'm realizing that I'm probably the reverse grade as you because earlier this year, I feel like I was at a solid A. I would low-key even have given myself an A+.

但自从度假回来之后，我就一直处于低谷……

But since I've been in my slump post-vacation- ...

现在我已经跌到C-了。

I've fallen to a solid C-minus.

哦，真的吗？

Oh, wow.

我连去上普拉提课都提不起劲。

I can barely bring myself to go to Pilates.

跑步也老是不去，健身房也不去，这样真的不太好。

I've been skipping my runs, I've been skipping the gym, and it's not that good.

所以我打算再去一趟短途旅行，去看看我爸妈。

So I'm about to go on another short trip to visit my parents.

我觉得去了之后可能会好一点，因为至少不用自己做饭或者操心那些事情了。

And I believe that once I do, it'll help me maybe because I won't have to cook or do stuff.

我只要待在父母家里，就会很舒服。

I'll just be in the comfort of my parents' home.

所以希望那是我回归状态的好机会。

So hopefully that's my comeback game.

不过现在，我的平均分大概在C+左右。

But for now, I'm at averaging to a C+.

好的。

Okay.

C+已经不错了。

A C+ is better.

我觉得你还是很活跃的，所以别对自己太苛刻了。

I feel like you're still very active, so don't be too harsh on yourself.

我只是休息一个月而已。

I'm just taking a month-long break.

对，这没什么问题。

Yeah, and that's okay.

好，接下来是下一个方面。

All right, onto the next sphere.

社交/人际关系方面，也就是和家人、朋友以及社区保持联系，建立归属感和支持系统。

Social/relational sphere, so connecting with family, friends, and your community to build a sense of belonging and support.

你在这方面感觉怎么样？

How have you been feeling about this?

这个挺有意思的，因为我觉得我对健康社交/人际关系的评判标准，嗯——

So this one is interesting because I feel like how I evaluate a healthy social/relational status, I guess-

……这些年已经变了。

... has changed over the years.

我觉得目前我会给自己一个稳稳的B。我和家人朋友联系很紧密，但我不会特意去主动联系别人，或者经常发消息、约出来玩。

I think currently I would give myself a solid B. I feel very connected to family and friends, but I wouldn't say I'm going out of my way to reach out to people or hitting people up and hanging out and texting all the time.

不过，对我来说，这其实是一种进步。

However, I feel like for me, that's an improvement in a way.

我觉得今年我一直在训练自己变得更独立、更自信，这让我能和其他人建立更牢固的关系，因为我感觉更好了。

I think this year I've been training myself to be more independent and more confident in myself, and that has allowed me to build stronger relationships with other people because I'm feeling better.

所以，是的。

So yeah.

我会给自己打个B。我又不是什么社交达人。

I would give myself a B. I'm not social queen of the year or anything.

但我现在是个真实的人了。

But I'm a real person now.

好的。

Okay.

那挺好的。

That's pretty good.

我对自己打的分数有点纠结。

I'm conflicted on the grade I'm giving myself.

可能是B减。

Maybe it's a B-minus.

我不确定。

I'm not sure.

有好的一面也有不好的一面。

There's some good parts and some bad parts.

总体上我并不觉得特别疏离，而且我觉得过去一年里我也和朋友一起做过一些有趣的事。

I don't feel necessarily disconnected overall, and I think I've done some fun things with friends recently too, over the past year.

但与此同时，我又是个很宅的人。

But at the same time, I'm a recluse.

啊。

Ah.

而且我最近感觉比平时更宅了。

And I've been feeling more reclusive than normal.

不是我自己想这样，你明白吗？

Outside of my own means, if that makes sense.

通常我会跟朋友说，'好了各位，这个月别来烦我'之类的。

Normally, I kind of tell our friend group, I'm like, "All right, guys, don't bother me for a month," or something.

但这次，我感觉自己宅得不是出于自愿。

But this time, I feel like I'm reclusive, not on my own terms.

你觉得你是在繁忙的日程中努力找时间休息，还是说总体上就是跟别人的联系变少了？

Do you feel like you're trying to find downtime between the busy schedule that you're juggling, or is it there's just generally less things or less connections with other people?

我想可能是因为我对生活感到有些应接不暇，所以变得更内向了。

I think maybe because I'm feeling overwhelmed with life, I guess, I am becoming more internal.

哦。

Oh.

然后我就不太主动联系别人了。

And so then I don't reach out to people.

但如果有人主动约我出去什么的，我可能会说“好啊”。

But if people reach out to me to hang out or something, I'll probably be like, "Okay."

不过总的来说，我也觉得自己不太想社交。

But I'm also not feeling very social, I guess, in general.

明白了。

I see.

我觉得这很正常。

I think that's fair.

但我不会因为这个就给你或我自己打个低分。

But I wouldn't necessarily give you or myself a bad grade for feeling like that.

你明白我的意思吗？

You know what I mean?

因为事情就是这样。

Because that's just how it is.

有些年份你更忙，有些年份你更自由，关键是要有时间和心思去投入这些关系。

Some years you're busier, some years you're more free, and it's about having the, honestly, the time and the head space to invest a lot of effort into these relationships.

但我不是说你的关系不好，绝对不是这个意思。

But I wouldn't say your relationships are bad or anything, by any means.

对，确实是这样。

Yeah, that's true.

不过我得说，我最近确实忽略了和父母一起出去玩。

I will say, though, I have neglected hanging out with my parents recently-

啊

Ah

……我觉得这有点拉低我的分数。

... which I feel like is a little, dings my grade a bit.

他们就在身边，所以很容易觉得理所当然。

They're right there, so it's easy to take that for granted.

但后来，是的，我最近突然意识到，"天哪，我已经好久没有好好陪父母了。"

But then, yeah, I kind of recently, I was like, "Oh my God, it's been a while since I've properly hung out with my parents."

我觉得还有一部分原因是我搬去和男朋友住了，变化很大，所以我得适应新的生活常态。

I think also part of it is moving in with my boyfriend is a lot of change, so I have to adapt to what is the new normal.

以前一个人住的时候，我可以直接去父母家，过夜，想干什么就干什么。

Living alone before, I could just go to my parents' house, stay over, do whatever I want.

但现在感觉，怎么说呢，好像没那么简单了。

But now it's like, I don't know, it feels like it's more than that.

就像是……

It's like-

……"哦，我想我这周末不在了。"

... "Oh, I guess I'll be gone for the weekend."

你懂吗？

You know?

而且我得跟别人说一声。

And I have to tell someone.

我也不知道。

I don't know.

对，确实需要更多的协调和考虑的事情。

Yeah, there's definitely more coordination and things to consider.

我觉得你几乎得提前安排，而不是随便过去看看。

I feel like you almost have to arrange it in advance instead of just casually popping by.

对，就是这样。

Yeah, exactly.

我觉得这很合理。

I think that's fair.

而且我今年也没怎么见到父母，所以也挺难受的，但也许我们可以从质量和数量两个角度来看待这个问题。

And I've also been unable to see my parents as much this year, so that has been kind of tough, but maybe we can look at it from a quality and quantity lens.

可能我们见面的次数少了，但每次聚在一起的质量还是很高的。

Maybe our quantity has gone down, but the quality of the hangouts are still doing strong.

而且就我个人来说，我觉得现在去聚会的时候，我能更做自己，更放松，更真实，哪怕是在工作场合。

And if I think about my hangouts personally, I feel like I've been able to show up to hangouts and be more myself, more relaxed, and more real, even in a work setting.

我觉得我现在在工作中也像个真实的人了。

I feel like I'm, again, a real person at work now.

确实。

That's true.

我也觉得最近我的工作关系处得挺好的。

I do feel like my work relationships have been doing pretty great lately.

还有我们的友谊，特别是我们在湾区的那个小女生圈子，最近特别活跃，因为很多人——

And our friendships, especially our little girl group in the Bay, has been kind of popping off lately because a lot of-

……最近都搬回来了。

... people have moved back recently.

这是我们的夏天。

It's our summer.

好的。

All right.

嗯，我还是坚持我给自己打的分数。

Well, I'm sticking to the grade I gave myself.

等等，我说的是什么来着？

Wait, what did I say?

B吗？

A B?

B减。

B minus.

B减？

B minus?

我觉得挺准的。

I think that's accurate.

可能很快就能到B了。我正在努力。

Maybe soon to be a B. I'm working on it.

正在往好的方向发展。

It's on the up and up.

好的。

Okay.

好了，为了结束我们这一期节目，我们来聊聊最后一个领域——精神领域。

Well, to wrap our episode, let's talk about the final sphere, the spiritual sphere.

这个领域可以归结为通过信仰、正念或与周围世界的联系，找到个人意义、核心价值观或人生目标。

This one can be categorized as finding personal meaning, core values, or purpose in life through beliefs, mindfulness, or connection to the world around you.

你会给自己打多少分？

How would you grade yourself?

老兄。

Dude.

你了解我的。

You know me.

好吧，对我来说这个领域有两面，我想每个领域都是如此。

Well, okay, there's two sides of this for me, as I guess for every sphere.

我觉得我确实有一个人生目标，最近我也一直在思考这个问题。

I think I do have a purpose, I guess, that I have quested myself recently.

而且总的来说，我对自己的核心价值观有清晰的认识。

And I think in general, I have a good idea of my core values.

但我每隔三个月左右就会经历一次身份认同或个人危机。

But I also just go through these identity and personal crises every three months or something.

所以我觉得，尽管我有比较稳固的基础，但我有时候可能还是会想太多。

So I feel like despite having a somewhat solid foundation, I'm always maybe overthinking it sometimes.

然后这就会让我陷入危机。

And then that throws me into a crisis.

你觉得这些危机有建设性吗？

Would you say that these crises are productive?

比如，你每次都能从中更了解自己，或者调整目标，或者总体上从中得到一些积极的东西？

Like you always come out of it knowing something more about yourself, or refining your goal, or just generally getting something positive about it?

还是说，这只是一时的消极情绪，然后很快就过去了？

Or do you think it's like a temporary flash of negativeness and then it just goes away?

我觉得这些危机并不总是有建设性的。

I do not think they're always productive.

有时候它们就是，对，像一阵消极的漩涡，然后突然之间我就觉得，"好吧，我没事了。"

I think sometimes they're just, yeah, like a flash of a negative spiral, and then eventually, suddenly I'm just like, "All right, I'm over it."

可能四个月后又回来了。

Maybe it comes back in four months or something.

我也不知道。

I don't know.

其实上一期节目我也聊过这个，对吧？

Even in the last episode, I was talking about it, right?

我当时就说，"天哪，我都这么老了。"

I was like, "Dude, I'm fucking old.

"还在经历这些危机。"

I'm having these crises."

而且说实话，有时候，可能是因为我知道自己的价值观或者某个目标，或者我想努力的方向，一想到有那么多潜在的障碍——

And actually, sometimes, I guess it is kind of because I know my values or some goal or whatever that I want to work towards, thinking about how there's all these potential obstacles-

……还有一些是我们控制不了的。

... and some that are out of our control.

我们都会老，你懂吧？

We just age, you know?

然后这让我有点焦虑。

And then that stresses me out a bit.

对，可能就是因为想太多那些控制不了的因素。

Yeah, maybe it's the overthinking of the factors that I can't control.

而且很难不去想太多。

And it's hard not to overthink.

我觉得这就是目标或者强烈价值观的双刃剑。

I feel like that's the double-edged sword of a goal, or having strong values.

我觉得好的时候，真的很好，很有动力；但坏的时候，或者遇到挫折，感觉有什么挡在前面的时候，真的会让人特别沮丧。

I feel like when it's good, it's really good and motivating, and then when it's bad, or there's a misstep or something that you feel like is in your way, I feel like it can be incredibly discouraging in a sense.

我觉得有时候还会自我怀疑，这几乎是不可避免的。

I think also, sometimes there's the second-guessing yourself, which I feel like is very inevitable.

所以有时候你会想，'这值得做吗？'

So sometimes you're like, "Is it worth doing this?

'我该不该做这个？'

Should I be doing this?"

就是这些想法。

All that kind of thought.

这又回到了我们的情感层面。

That goes back to our emotional sphere.

不过我觉得我们确实到了那个年纪。

I do feel like we're at that age, though.

我记得看过一篇文章说，很多女性在三十多岁的时候会经历职业变动之类的。

I think I read something that was like, a lot of women have career changes or something in their 30s.

不是说你的情况是职业变动，但也许我们就是面临这些想法，比如'我们整个二十多岁都在追求这一件事'，然后现在到了三十岁，前额叶也完全发育了。

And not that your thing is a career change, but maybe we just are facing these thoughts of like, "Oh, we spent our entire 20s wanting this one thing," and then now that we're 30, and our frontal lobes are like, fully developed.

而且现在生活中发生了这么多事情，我们的需求在变化和演变，我觉得这有点吓人。

And, we have all of these circumstantial things that are happening in our life now, like what we want changes and evolves, and I feel like it's kind of scary.

我不是一个能很好适应变化的人。

I am not someone who does well with change.

所以一想到我到了38岁左右，突然发现自己想要完全不同的生活，我就感到害怕。

So the prospect of me hitting, say like 38 or something, and suddenly being like, "Oh, I want something completely different in my life," terrifies me.

这确实挺吓人的。

It's pretty scary.

那你的精神层面怎么样？

So how's your spiritual sphere?

还行吧。

It's doing okay.

我会给自己打个C+。

I would give myself a C+ for this.

这个分数有点复杂，因为我觉得我人生的目标一直是建立一个稳固的家庭，生孩子，把孩子培养成优秀、了不起的人。

It's kind of a mixed grade because I feel like my purpose in life has always been to have a strong family, have kids, raise beautiful, amazing kid, I guess.

不是多个孩子。

Not plural.

这一点从来没有变过。

And that has never changed.

对我来说，这一点一直非常坚定。

Like, that's been very unshaken for me.

所以这是我的基础。

So that is my baseline.

然后我觉得我今年的目标在某种程度上很肤浅。

And then I feel like my goal this year has been very superficial in a sense.

我一直在朝着这个目标努力，花了很多时间、金钱和精力。

I've been working towards it and spending a lot of time, money, effort working towards that goal.

但因为我觉得这个目标没什么意义——

But because I don't find it to be a very meaningful goal-

……

...

我觉得也就只能得个C+吧。

I feel like it's just like a C+.

但这个目标，它和你根本的追求是相连的。

But the goal, it connects to your foundational purpose.

对，确实是这样。

Yeah, that's true.

我想也是。

I guess it's true.

但有时候我觉得，追求一个肤浅的目标会让我的想法也变得肤浅。

But sometimes I feel like working towards a superficial goal makes my thoughts superficial.

我觉得平衡这两者挺有意思的。

I think balancing that has been interesting.

明白了。

I see.

比如，我看了很多TikTok上的内容，都在提醒我要实现那个目标，不停地说，"哦，你想要这个没关系。"

Like, I'm on a lot of TikTok content and stuff that is reminding me of the goal that I want to achieve, and it's constantly talking about it, being like, "Oh, it's okay that you want this."

但我心里又有个声音在问，"真的吗？"

But then part of me is like, "Is it?"

比如，我是不是突然把我生活中的一切都建立在这件不是很有意义的事情上了？

Like, am I suddenly now basing everything that I'm doing in my life based on this one thing that is not very meaningful?

它只是关于外表的。

It's just only physical.

有点模糊。

It's kind of vague.

基本上，我一直在努力减肥，我觉得每天我的大脑、我的心思、我的想法都围绕着减肥、体重、外貌或者类似的东西转。

Basically, I've been trying to lose weight, and I feel like every day my brain, and my mind, and my thoughts are revolving around losing weight, or my weight, or my aesthetics, or something.

然后我觉得在这个过程中，我很难不迷失自己，不失去我内心深处真正的自己。

And then I feel like in that process, it's been hard for me not to lose myself and lose who I am deep inside.

但我觉得你减肥只是一个表面的标签。

But I feel like your losing weight is just a superficial label.

真正的目标是——

The real goal is-

……健康。

... to be healthy.

确实。

That's true.

而这跟你最终的目标是连在一起的，就是组建家庭，保持健康，成为家里的顶梁柱，还有——

And that is connected to your ultimate goal of having a family, being healthy enough to be a strong pillar in that family, and-

……

...

怎么说呢，养孩子、怀孕，这些事儿，对吧？

I don't know, raise a child, get pregnant, all of that kind of stuff, right?

就像用二头肌举起我的宝宝。

Like bicep curl my baby.

对，没错。

No, yeah.

因为很多父母不怎么锻炼，孩子长大一点、重一点，很快就抱不动了。

Because a lot of parents who don't work out as much, they quickly cannot hold their child as the child gets older and like bigger.

所以以后你会是那种很厉害的妈妈。

So like you'll be one of the strong moms in the future.

我觉得你说得对，也许关键在于怎么看待这个问题，对吧？

I think you're right, and maybe it's about the framing, right?

比如在我精神健康的日子里，我会想，‘哦，我这么强壮，这么健康’，或者‘我做得更健康了’，或者‘我能做到所有这些不靠体重秤的胜利’，我能看到其中的深层意义。

Like maybe on my spiritually healthy days, I'm like, "Oh, I'm so strong and fit," or like, "I'm doing so much healthier," or, "I can do all of these things that are non-scale victories," and I'm able to see the depth in that.

然后在我心理脆弱的日子里，我就只是盯着体重秤，或者看我的体重数据——

And then on my mentally weak days, I'm like just staring at the scale, or looking at my weight statistics-

……或者过度纠结卡路里那些东西。

... or diving too deep into the calories and stuff.

所以总是试图保持平衡，但我应该重新调整这种想法，让自己感觉——

So always trying to keep that balance, but I should be reframing it to feel-

……更注重健康，而不是外表。

... more health-based and not aesthetic-based.

我觉得你不必为此给自己打个C。

I feel like you don't have to give yourself a C for that.

好的。

Okay.

那你至少是个B。

You'd be like a B.

好吧。

Okay.

我把自己提到B了。但你要知道，这也就是83分，刚好卡在B减的边缘。

I'm bumping myself up to a B. But just know that it's like a 83, like on the cusp of a B minus.

但我完全理解你的意思，因为比如说，我讨厌有氧运动，所以我从来不做。

But I totally get what you mean because, for example, I hate cardio, so I never do cardio.

在我心里就会觉得，哦，有氧运动跟减肥有关之类的。

And in my mind it's kind of like, "Oh, well, cardio is linked to weight loss or whatever."

但如果你深入想想，提醒自己，这是别人给我的一个建议。

But then it's like if you dig deeper and remind yourself, this was one of the tips that someone had given me.

他们说，别这么想。

They're like, "Well, don't think of it that way.

实在不行，就把它当咒语一样反复念给自己听。

Literally, if you have to, just repeat it to yourself like a mantra."

比如，“这是为了最终目标，为了健康，”或者“为了达到这些健身水平之类的。”

Like, "This is for this ultimate goal, to be healthy," or like, "To reach these levels in fitness or whatever."

这就是你做这件事的原因，而不是把它和那些感觉肤浅或者你不想做的事情联系在一起。

And that's why you're doing this thing, rather than tying it to something that feels either superficial or like something that you don't want to do.

然后我就想，“好吧。”

And I was like, "Okay."

我还是不做有氧运动。

I still don't do cardio.

但等你做的时候，你会记住这一点的。

But when you do, you'll have that in the back of your mind.

希望如此。

Hopefully.

这让我想起，虽然我完全不是网球迷，但最近我看了阿尔卡拉斯和本·谢尔顿的比赛。

This kind of reminds me of, and I'm not a tennis fan by any means, but recently I watched Alcaraz play Ben Shelton.

本·谢尔顿。

Ben Shelton.

我对阿尔卡拉斯了解不多，但他那次在连胜之后输了，然后他走下通道的时候，脸上还带着笑容。

I don't know a ton about Alcaraz, but he lost after having this long winning streak, and then as he was walking down the tunnel after his loss, he was just smiling.

他看起来完全不像输不起的样子。

He didn't look like a sore loser at all.

就是，他看起来一点都不沮丧或者什么的。

Like, he didn't look salty or anything.

然后我看到一个Reddit评论——

And this one Reddit comment I saw-

……说阿尔卡拉斯的心理素质很强，因为他年轻的时候刚开始打网球、开始有竞争意识时，他有一个运动心理学家跟他合作。

... said that Alcaraz has a pretty strong mental because when he was young and getting into tennis and being competitive, he had a sports psychologist that he worked with.

据说，那个运动心理学家会让他描述上周的比赛情况，但不能说“哦，但我输了”或者“我赢了”这样的话。

And apparently, the sports psychologist would have him talk about how his tennis matches went the week prior without being like, "Oh, but I lost," or like, "I won."

他得描述自己的经历，而不提结果，因为即使不把输赢挂在嘴边，你也能从经历中获得很多。

Like, he would have to describe how his experiences were without talking about the results because you still get so much out of the experience, even without having to default to the win or loss.

我看到那个的时候，我就想：“哦，我觉得你可以把这个应用到生活中的很多方面。”

When I read that, I was like, "Oh, I feel like you could apply that to so much in your life."

就拿我的健康之旅来说，与其说‘哦，我减了多少斤失败了’，

Even my health journey, instead of being like, "Oh, I lost."

或者‘我还想再减多少斤’，我其实可以想想在这个过程中发生的那些事。

This much weight, or I want to still lose whatever weight, I could just think about the things that have happened in the process.

比如今年这一年，我能跑更多英里了，或者举更重的重量，或者上普拉提课之后不会疼得躺四天。

Like throughout this year, I've been able to run more miles or lift more weight or go to Pilates without dying for four days after.

这些事都值得庆祝，而不只是看秤上的数字。

Those are things that are still worth celebrating instead of just what's on the scale.

哥们儿，说得太对了。

Dude, so true.

而且打网球的人心理素质都超强。

And tennis people's mentals are crazy good.

这真的很有意思。

That is really interesting.

我也得好好想想，看看能不能也用到自己身上。

I'll have to think about that, see if I can apply it to myself, too.

有很多值得思考的。

Lot to noodle on.

天哪，我给自己这次表现打分了吗？

Oh my God, did I give myself a grade for this one?

嗯，我就说个B吧。我给自己B，因为我有很多危机，但我觉得我的基础还不错。

Well, I'll just say like B. I'll just give myself a B because I have a lot of crises, but I feel like I have a good foundation.

哥们，B就是——天哪，我们俩都是B，太巧了。

Dude, B is-- Oh my God, we're matching our Bs.

不错。

Solid.

太棒了。

Hell yeah.

说实话……哦，我们其实也有几个A-呢。

Honestly... Oh, we did have a couple A minuses in there, too.

好的。

Okay.

我觉得我们做得还不错，尤其是知道最近我们俩都不在最佳状态。

I think we did okay, especially knowing that lately we've both been feeling not at our peaks.

我觉得如果我们在今年年初给自己打分的话，会有更多的A。

I feel like if we graded ourselves towards the beginning of this year, we'd have way more As.

哦，对。

Oh, yeah.

我今年年初的时候，成绩单可是非常漂亮的。

I started off this year with a very strong report card.

是的。

Yes.

不知道中间发生了什么。

Not sure what happened in the middle there.

但趋势看起来是在上升的。

But the trend seems to be on the come up.

是的。

Yes.

所以希望到十二月，我们能回到A、A减、B加这些水平。

So hopefully by December, we'll be back in those A, A minus, B plus areas.

而且我觉得做这个评分，就像你说的，我对我们的结果感到非常惊喜。

And I think doing this grading, like you said, I'm very pleasantly surprised at how we landed.

所以也许我们的低谷并没有那么低。

So maybe our low point isn't even that low.

我们看起来还不错。

We seem to be doing okay.

比如，没有D。

Like, no Ds.

我们每门课都及格了。

We're passing on everything.

C也能拿学位。

Cs get degrees.

当然。

For sure.

这次一起聊聊我们的心理健康真的很有意思，而且这次我们没有做危机特辑，而是给自己打了分，我觉得挺有启发的。

This has been very fun to kind of walk through our mental health, and instead of doing a crisis episode, we gave ourselves grades this time, and I feel like it's been very insightful.

所以，正在收听的朋友们，如果你们也想给自己的心理健康各个方面打个分，欢迎随时联系我们。

So for those of you who are listening, if you want to grade yourselves on your own mental health spheres, then feel free to hit us up.

我们的Instagram是EatYourCrustPod，邮箱是eatyourcrustpod@gmail.com。

We have Instagram at EatYourCrustPod, and we also have email, eatyourcrustpod@gmail.com.

别忘了在Spotify、Apple Podcasts或者你常听的任何播客平台上关注我们。

And don't forget to follow us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, wherever you listen to podcasts.

我们每隔一周的周三早上更新新一期节目。

We upload new episodes every other Wednesday morning.

感谢收听。

Thanks for listening.

别忘了吃掉你的面包边。

And don't forget to eat your crust.