在我们的感受中

我想确实是这样。

I guess that's true.

社会似乎有一种默认的秩序，就是希望大家都开开心心的，尽管现实根本不是那么回事。

It's like the natural order of society is that hopefully everyone is just happy even though that's, like, really not the case.

所以就像你说的，这些像土星一样沉重的时刻，反而更让人印象深刻。

So then these, like, Saturn moments, like you said, feel more like the parts that stick out.

对。

Yeah.

我觉得分享快乐时光给别人会自然一些，因为就像我们之前提到的，情绪有时和脆弱有关，大家不一定愿意说‘哎呀我昨晚哭了四个小时’。

And I think it feels a little bit more natural to share about your happy times to other people because, like we mentioned earlier, I think emotions are sometimes linked to vulnerability and people don't always wanna be like, oh, I spent like four hours crying last night.

你知道的，这也不是什么特别好的晚餐聊天话题。

You know, like, it's not always gonna be the best, like, dinner conversation topic either.

我觉得随着年纪增长，我们见朋友的机会越来越少，个人生活也渐渐和那些常见面的人变得独立开来。

I think in some ways, the older we get, the less we see our friends, the more independent our personal lives become from the people we see all the time.

对。

Yeah.

就是变得有点自然地去隐藏这些事情，或者你知道，不是故意隐藏，但就是不太会提起了。

It just becomes a little bit more natural to hide these things or, you know, not even hide on purpose, but like it just doesn't come up as much anymore.

对。

Yeah.

我也不想在好久没见的聚会上出现，然后就像倒垃圾一样把心里的创伤倒给朋友。

I also don't wanna show up to these hangouts where we might not have seen each other for a long time and just like trauma dump on my friend.

对吧？

Right?

对。

Yeah.

我觉得在不成文的社会契约里，通常就是，哦，我们在这里聊开心的事。

I guess like in the unspoken societal contract, it's usually like, oh, we talk about happy things here.

想象一下，遇到一个新的人，他们问，你最近怎么样？

Imagine meeting someone new and they're like, how are you doing?

然后你就说，我过得糟透了。

And then you're like, I'm doing terrible.

然后你就把那些 depressing 的故事一股脑儿倒给人家。

And then you just fucking like dump these, like, depressing stories on them.

这在社会交往中可是个大忌。

That's like a social faux pas.

挺有意思的，我觉得疫情之后，大家确实更愿意敞开心扉聊自己的感受了。

It's kind of interesting because I do think with the pandemic, I've actually noticed that people are willing to talk about their feelings more.

对。

Mhmm.

也许是因为大家共同经历了国际疫情，在那段艰难时期建立了联系。

Maybe because we all, like, bonded over the trauma of, like, going through an international pandemic together.

但现在，比如在工作电话会议里，我们通常会问些客套话，像‘你好吗？’

But nowadays, like, sometimes on, like even on work calls, we do the generic, how are you?

比如‘最近怎么样？’

Like, how are things?

你知道的，以前在办公室的时候，大家都会说‘挺好的’。

You know, back in the office, people used to be like, oh, it's good.

或者，最多就是，还行吧。

Or, like, at the most, it's like, it's going.

但现在有时候人们会说，不太顺利。

But now sometimes people are like, it's not going well.

比如，事情有点乱。

Like, things are falling apart.

然后我就想，哦。

And I'm like, oh.

但我确实喜欢这种变化，就是希望人们能更自在地聊感受，甚至只是承认事情可能不太完美。

But I do kind of like the shift of, like, where hopefully people feel more comfortable talking about their feelings or even just acknowledging that, like, things might not be going perfectly.

不过有时候，这需要一点时间。

Sometimes though, it it, like, takes a bit.

你得跟人熟到一定程度，才能聊这些比较沉重的话题。

You have to get to a certain level of comfortableness with someone before you can drop some of these sadder topics.

但确实有变化了。

But there has been a shift.

我同意你的看法。

I agree with you.

而且这挺好的，因为有时候是一些大家都会遇到的大问题。

And it's like kind of nice because sometimes it's like big problems that everyone's experiencing.

所以听到别人也有同感，感觉挺好的。

So it's like, it's nice to hear that other people can also relate.

当然。

For sure.

我想到我不跟别人提起一些比较沉重或者难过的事情，原因是我觉得我不想扫兴。

When I think about the reason I don't bring up some of my more like feeling heavy or like sad things to other people, I feel like it's because I don't wanna be a buzz kill.

但你觉得有没有办法提起，比如“我有点难过”或者“我最近不太好”或者“我心情不太好”，而不会让人觉得扫兴呢？

But do you think there's ways to bring up, oh, I was sad or like, I'm not doing well or I'm not feeling great without being a buzz kill?

对。

Yeah.

我想这就是喜剧演员诞生的方式吧。

I guess that's how comedians are born.

对吧？

Right?

他们心里肯定在想，哎呀，糟了。

They're like, oh, shit.

既然得说些让人沮丧的话，不如干脆编成段子。

If I'm gonna have some depressing stuff to say, better make it a joke.

我心想，这下好了，我要开始讲我那五十分钟的深度抑郁专场了。

I was like, here's my fifty minutes set about my deep seated depression.

对。

Yeah.

我就在想，是不是有可能达到那种状态？我觉得这确实要看具体情况，就像你刚才说的，跟你们之间的关系动态有关，也取决于你们当时在做什么。

I just wonder if it's possible to get to a point, and I guess it does depend, like you said, on, like, relationship dynamics and even, like, what you're doing together.

比如，我肯定不会跟朋友去打迷你高尔夫的时候突然来一句：哎。

Like, I'm not gonna be, like, at mini golf with my friends and be like, yo.

我昨晚难过死了。

I was fucking sad last night.

但我希望谈论自己的情绪和这些事能更容易一些。

But I wish it was a little easier to talk about your emotions and stuff.

我们在节目开头也提到过，但我觉得尤其是在喝醉或上头的时候，

And we kind of mentioned this at the beginning of the episode, but I think definitely when inebriated or intoxicated,

确实会更容易

it is kind

提起一些事情，因为你没那么拘束了。

of easier to bring things up Maybe because you're less, like, on edge.

你放下了所有顾虑。

You've let your inhibitions go.

对。

Yeah.

你会觉得，这就是我。

You're like, this is me.

全盘接受吧。

Take it all in.

我觉得其实通过短信或电话聊更容易，因为你没有在做别的事情。

I think also it's actually easier to do it over text or phone call because you're not doing anything else.

所以你不是真的在扫兴。

So you're not really, like, killing any buzz.

你知道吗？

You know?

你只是把对话引向某个方向，比如，我不知道，更深入的对话。

You're just driving the conversation in a certain direction to, like, I don't know, a deeper conversation per se.

但是，比如，如果你在外面，像你说的，打迷你高尔夫或者打排球，然后你突然说，嘿。

But, like, if you're out there, like you said, playing mini golf or something or, like, volleyball, and then you're like, yo.

我他妈的抑郁了。

I'm fucking depressed.

那你怎么还能继续玩呢？

Like, how can you keep playing at

在那种情况下？

that point?

还有其他人最近也感到抑郁吗？

Anyone else been depressed lately?

只有我。

Just me.

对。

Yeah.

我觉得你提到的那两种场景，通常都是一对一的交流。

I think actually, like, the two settings that you mentioned tend to be more one on one.

而且可能正是因为一对一这种独处的空间，让人感觉更加安全。

And maybe it's also that vacuum of being one on one with the person that makes it feel even more like a safe space.

还有啊，我不知道该怎么形容，但我觉得如果大家都知道你可能会提起那些不开心的事，那比起完全出乎意料、毫无预兆地突然说出口，大家会更容易接受你提起这些伤心事。

And also just, like I don't know how to describe it, but I feel like if everyone knows that you might bring up sad shit, then it's easier to bring up sad shit than when it's, like, unprompted and, like, completely a surprise.

有道理。

Fair.

确实很有道理。

That's very fair.

对。

Right.

是的。

Yeah.

我觉得行。

I think okay.

另外，发短信有个好处，当然也有坏处。

Also, a good thing about text, well, it's a pro and a con.

你会得到更好的回应。

You'll get better answers.

比如，不会就坐在那儿干等着别人开口。

Like, won't just sit there and wait for someone.

打个比方，如果是打电话，你说：天哪，我最近因为某件事特别难过之类的。

Like, if it were a call, let's say, and you say like, oh my god, I've been so sad about this blah blah blah thing.

对。

Right.

然后另一条线就，嗯，沉默了一会儿。

And then the other line is just, like, silent for a bit.

他们就像，嗯，齿轮在转动，努力想回应。

They're like as they're just, like, gears grinding trying to respond.

但在文字里，嗯，你本来就得等一会儿才能收到回复，因为他们得打字。

But over text, it's, like, expected that you're gonna wait a little bit for a response because they have to type it out.

嗯。

Mhmm.

然后，你知道，通常他们能稍微调整一下。

And then, you know, usually, they're able to just fix it up a bit.

里面没有多余的废话和沉默。

No more filler words and silences in there.

所以感觉更像是你立刻就接受了它。

So it feels a little more like you're immediately receptive to it.

确实。

That's true.

而且他们可以反复读你的文字，然后想，好吧。

And they can, like, reread your text multiple times and be like, okay.

就像，我该这样回复。

Like, I should respond this way.

而打电话的时候，如果你没听清什么，就会想，天哪。

Whereas, like, on the phone, if you, like, didn't catch something, you're like, oh god.

就像，希望我能给出一个满意的回答，你知道，不会让分享的人感到不舒服。

Like, hopefully, I can give, like, a satisfactory answer, you know, without making the person who shared uncomfortable.

就像，我们只是想和人交流，却遇到这么多乱七八糟的障碍，真是的。

It's like all these weird things when we're just trying to connect with people, but it's like there's like all these obstacles, man.

就像《阿凡达》里那样，那些蓝色的人把头发连起来，那是什么玩意儿？

What was it like in Avatar, the blue people movie where they like connect their hair or some shit?

等等。

Wait.

那真是太糟糕了。

That's just sucks.

哦。

Oh.

抱歉。

Sorry.

我没看过《阿凡达》，但我以为他们就是这样连接的。

I didn't watch Avatar, but I thought that's how they connected.

不是。

No.

他们就是这样发生关系的。

That's how they had sex.

哦，不。

Oh, no.

还有，有一本书叫《猫的摇篮》。

Also, there's a book called Cat's Cradle.

是库尔特·冯内古特写的，他还写了《第五号屠宰场》。

Kurt Vonnegut wrote it, who wrote Slaughterhouse Five.

还有一种宗教，人们会脚碰脚。

And there's some religion where people connect their feet.

我觉得那就是他们交流情感的方式之类的。

I think that's how they exchange emotions or something.

但现在我在想，那是不是做爱的委婉说法？

But now I'm like, was that a euphemism for having sex?

哥们，有可能哦。

Dude, it might have been.

恋足癖。

Foot fetish.

天哪。

Oh God.

我觉得我真正喜欢和别人分享情绪的原因是，有时候别人能给你不同的视角，或者哪怕只是感同身受，也会让你觉得没那么孤单。

I think what I generally do really enjoy though about sharing my emotions with someone else is one, sometimes people are able to offer different perspectives to whatever you're feeling emotional about or even just being able to relate to you that makes you feel a lot less alone.

而且，对我来说，尽量把情绪表达出来真的很有帮助。

And two, I think for me, it really helps to try to articulate my emotions as much as possible.

然后我就能进一步深入思考这件事。

And then it becomes something that I can ruminate further on.

因为如果我只是把它当作一种情绪，那我可能就会花好几天时间一直觉得自己心情不好。

Because if I just leave it as an emotion, then I might just be spending a few days being like, I feel bad.

或者这种情绪不够具体，导致我甚至没法去反思或处理它。

Or it might not be a specific enough of an emotion to be able to even reflect or work on it.

所以我觉得，不管是说出来还是写下来，肯定都有很大帮助。

So I feel like just verbalizing that or even just typing it out somewhere definitely helps a lot.

哥们，我咨询师说，如果你觉得情绪太满、压力太大，可以试试把感受写下来。

Dude, my therapist was like, If you feel overwhelmed by emotions, you can always try writing down the emotions you feel.

最近我在YouTube上找东西，想重新拾起写日记的习惯，但我总是坚持不下来。

Recently I was on YouTube and I was trying to get back into journaling again and I always give up.

对吧？

Right?

我当时在看一个关于怎么好好写日记的视频，视频里那个女生说，在日记里别搞那些铺垫和背景介绍了，反正也没人看嘛。

And I was watching some video about how to best journal and the girl said to drop all context building in your journal because who's gonna read it?

只是写给自己看的，对吧？

It's just for yourself, right?

如果你更看重的是写日记这个行为和练习本身，那就别搞那些虚的，也别费劲去铺垫背景。

And if it's the activity and the exercise of journaling that you wanna focus on and prioritize, then drop all pretenses, drop all context building.

你不需要把什么都解释得清清楚楚，尽量多往内心探索就行。

You don't have to overexplain anything and just try to be as introspective as possible.

我当时就想，难怪我之前一直没法在日记里真实地宣泄情绪，因为我总是写成‘今天发生了这事，然后我做了那事’这种流水账。

And I was like, dude, that's what was kind of barring me from truly bearing my emotions out on my journals because I would be like, today this happened and then I did this.

然后写了一大堆关于发生了什么的段落之后，再让我进入情绪部分。

And then after all these paragraphs of being like, this happened, now let me go into my emotions.

我就会想，哥们，我真的受够了他妈的写日记。

I would be like, dude, I'm tired of fucking journaling.

你知道吧，我就是烦透了。

You know, like, I'm over it.

你简直是在搞世界观构建啊。

You're literally, like, world building out here.

但说实话，我简直就像个小说家一样在写。

But, yeah, I'm straight up, like, being like a novelist.

看完那个视频后我就在想，我是不是连写日记这种特别私人的事都要过度分析和解释自己的情绪？

After I watched that video, I was like, am I trying to overanalyze or overexplain my emotions even when I'm doing something as personal as journaling?

所以我尽量不再那样做，结果真的有用。

So I tried to not do that as much as possible and it actually did help.

她在视频里特别提到，别觉得别人会读你的日记然后评判你，哪怕你害怕未来的自己回头看时会批评你。

And she specifically said in the video, don't feel like someone's gonna read this and judge you even if you're scared of your future self reading it and judging you.

我当时就想，哇，这建议真不错。

And I was like, damn, that's some good advice.

我在回想我现在是怎么写日记的。

I'm trying to think of how I journal now.

挺有意思的，我觉得我跟你正好相反。我可能只花一句话来铺垫背景，然后心里就咯噔一下，哎呀。

And it's funny because I think I'm actually opposite of you where I, like, maybe world build for, one sentence, and I'm like, oh, shit.

行吧。

Alright.

随便吧。

Whatever.

到底什么时候才能开始聊那些真正走心的内容啊？

Like, when can I get to the fucking introspective shit?

你会回头看以前的日记吗？

Do you ever read your old journals?

偶尔会看。

Sometimes.

你有没有那种时候，写着写着就忘了自己刚才在写啥？

Are you ever like, I wonder what I was talking about?

还是说你通常都能记得住？

Or do you usually know?

大部分情况下，我都能记得。

For the most part, I usually know.

我觉得还没遇到过那种特别让人摸不着头脑的情况。

I don't think there's been something that was, like, very confusing.

我回去翻了一些高一或者高二时的日记。

I went back and read some of my journals from early high school, maybe sophomore year.

看完我就想，天哪，我当时怎么那么难过啊。

And I'm just like, God, I'm so fucking sad.

不知道为什么，里面全是一些暗语似的表达。

It's all coded language for some reason.

我就在想，我到底在写些什么呢？

I'm like, What am I talking about here?

说真的，我干嘛要对自己隐瞒秘密？

Literally, why am I keeping secrets from myself?

确实是这样。

That's true.

我想大概是出于防备心理吧，毕竟你懂的，那些电影和剧里总演那种桥段：天哪，我发现了别人的日记。

I guess it's like just in case because, you know, all those like movies and shows where they're like, oh my god, I found this person's diary.

我可不想把整本都看完。

I don't wanna read it all.

我们都被那种经历留下了阴影。

We're scarred from that.

把我们写的所有东西都加密处理。

Code everything we write.

天哪，真的假的。

Dude, seriously.

不过，对，我回想了一下那个视频，它确实让我意识到自己之前对情绪的处理有点过度了，你懂我的意思吧。

But, yeah, I think going back to that video a little bit, it did help me realize that I was doing too much, like, processing on my emotions, if that makes sense.

我觉得对我来说最难做到的事，就是允许自己去感受那些最真实、最原始的情绪，并试着去理解它们。

I think something that's really difficult for me to do is to allow myself to feel, like, the true raw extent of all the emotions and try to understand them.

相反，我当时的做法是替这些情绪找理由，或者为我的感受找借口，甚至试图扮演自己的心理医生，而不是让自己像个普通人一样去体验。

Instead, what I was doing was, like, justifying them or making excuses for the way I felt or trying to be like my own therapist in a sense instead of letting myself be like a real person.

关于这点，我有一个跟进的问题。

I have a follow-up question for that.

你说。

Yeah?

当你有很多

When you feel a lot of

情绪，或者情绪上的什么，你会怎么处理这些情绪？

emotions, emotional whatever, what do you do to deal with the emotions?

我觉得我通常会尽量压抑它们，靠一些坏习惯来转移注意力。

I think I usually try to stifle them as much as possible by engaging in bad habits.

听起来好像我在吸毒或者什么的。

I mean, that sounds like I'm, like, doing drugs or something.

其实我就是吃点零食，或者看看电视，刷刷抖音，做点能让我把精力和注意力从情绪上移开的事情。

I'm basically just like I'll, like, eat some snacks or, like, watch TV or, like, watch TikTok or, like, do something that will take my energy and focus away from my emotions.

嗯。

Mhmm.

然后等我这样做了足够长的时间，有时候可能得一个星期左右，我就会开始过度分析。

And then after I've done that for a sufficient amount of time, sometimes it can take as long as, like, a week or something, then I'll overanalyze.

所以有点像钟摆一样。

So it's kinda like a pendulum.

我尽量离自己的情绪远一点，但有时候又会一下子投入太多，拼命去分析细节，结果反而适得其反。

It's like I try to steer as far away as possible from my emotions, and then I'll swing back and engage way too much and try to, like, break it down as much as possible, which sometimes backfires.

你是会把自己埋在工作里，还是主要做一些让自己放松的事情？

Do you, like, throw yourself into work or do you mostly just do things that are, like, relaxing in a sense?

哦。

Oh.

有时候我会确实会转向工作。

Sometimes I do sort of turn to work.

不过我觉得通常是我能完全沉浸进去的事情。

But I think usually it's more stuff that I can kind of be in the zone about, I guess.

所以不管是什么，比如过度纠结一些事情。

So whether it's over obsessing about I don't know.

有时候甚至会过度纠结于家务、家具或者园艺之类的琐事。

Sometimes you can even be like, I start to over obsess about house chores and furniture and gardening and stuff.

我想这大概也算是一种工作吧。

I guess that kinda counts as work.

确实。

True.

所以有时候也会变成一种责任或者义务。

So it can be something that's more of a duty.

对。

Yeah.

我觉得如果我情绪上来了，我就想一个人待着，躺在床上光琢磨自己的感受。

I feel like if I'm emotional, then I want to be alone and I just lie in bed and just think about my feelings.

哇。

Woah.

这太像了，你难道不害怕独自面对自己的思绪吗？

That's so like, are you not scared of being alone with your thoughts?

不会。

No.

因为我大部分时间都是独自面对自己的思绪。

Because I'm alone with my thoughts a lot of the time.

就是说，我经常会去思考自己的情绪。

As in, like, I I feel like I think about my feelings a lot.

所以可能我已经习惯了。

So maybe I'm, like, used to it.

其实也没那么可怕。

It's not too scary.

我觉得吧，这我也不知道怎么说。

I feel like that's I don't know.

我是真心佩服那种人。

Like, I admire people who are like that for sure.

因为我觉得这需要你对自己感到很自在。

Because I think it takes a level of feeling comfortable with yourself.

而且，这也要求你不怕某些事情，不管是你的情绪，还是可能会冒出来的念头，甚至有时候还包括那些由情绪引发的待办事项。

And also, it it requires you to not be scared of, like, certain things, whether it's, like, your emotions or, like, the thoughts that may come up or sometimes even the action items, like, the pending action items that might come up from your feelings.

说实话，这点也挺让我害怕的。

That scares me too, I think.

哦，行动项。

Oh, action items.

你给自己定的行动项有哪些？

What are some action items you give yourself?

比如我当时的主要情绪是孤独。

Say my emotion, like, the overwhelming emotion of that time is loneliness.

我感到非常孤立，也很孤单。

I'm feeling really isolated, and I'm feeling lonely.

我可能会对自己目前所处的人生阶段感到有些别扭。

And I might be feeling weird about, like, where I am in my stage of life.

有时候，你唯一能做的就是让这些情绪自然流逝。

And sometimes the only thing you can do is to let these emotions pass.

对。

Mhmm.

但其他时候，你可以采取一些行动来主动应对这些问题。

But other times, there's things that you can do to, like, kind of actively fight these things.

这甚至也适用于我有时感到悲伤的方式。

And that even goes for the way I feel sadness sometimes.

就像，我可能会感到难过，因为实际上我已经三天没出门了，我需要晒点该死的太阳。

It's like, I might be feeling sad because actually I didn't leave the house in like three days and I need to get some fucking sunlight.

而且我觉得，知道有些事情我可以做，这几乎让我有时不想去感受自己的情绪，因为它打破了那种“哦，我只是随波逐流”的状态。

And I think it's like knowing that there's things that I can do that almost makes me wanna not feel my emotions sometimes because it breaks from like the, oh, I'm just going with the flow of life.

就像，天哪，我实际上必须做这些事情，并为自己的情绪负责。

It's like, damn, I actually have to do these things and take responsibility for my emotions.

哇。

Woah.

那真的很有意思。

That's really fascinating.

好的。

Okay.

所以我最近其实和我的治疗师聊过，嗯。

So I actually had a conversation with my therapist recently Mhmm.

我们当时在聊情绪处理这件事。

Where we were talking about, like, emotional processing.

然后在谈话过程中，我意识到了一点，我跟她说了，我说，我不喜欢跟自己的情绪较劲，因为那感觉就像在耗自己。

And during our conversation, I kind of realized and I told her, I was like, I don't like to fight my emotions because that just feels like draining.

就像我在主动做点什么，为了不去感受某种情绪，或者尽量不去感受，我觉得这反而有点反直觉。

Like, I'm actively doing something to not or to try not to feel something, I guess, which is just like, to me, counterintuitive.

这比直接躺平更累，躺平的话，我就想，好吧，就这样吧。

Like, even more draining than if I were just to, like, lie down and be like, alright.

让我好好想想这件事。

Let me just think about this.

等我想明白了，我就没事了。

And then when I'm done thinking about it, I'll be okay.

对。

Yeah.

我也不知道。

I don't know.

我觉得这些对我来说从来都不是自然而然的事。

I don't I don't think those things ever came as naturally to me.

我以前常跟朋友说，我得跟人聊起来，才能知道自己当时是什么情绪。

Like, I used to tell my friends that I would not know what emotion I was even feeling until I started talking about it to someone.

所以我觉得每个人处理情绪的方式都不一样，能看到这一点还挺有意思的。有些人不会像那样，为了回避情绪就整整一周都不理人。

So I think people have different ways of processing emotions, and it is kind of cool to see that, some people don't give their emotions the whole runaround of like, I'm avoiding you for the next week kind of thing.

对。

Yeah.

有一件事对我帮助很大，我在治疗中学到的一个应对机制就是试着去识别那种感受。

Something that has been helping me a lot and one of the coping mechanisms that I learned in therapy was to actually try to identify the feeling.

哪怕我不做第二步，也就是不去想怎么对抗这种感受、怎么处理它之类的废话。

Even if I'm not doing the second step of how can I fight this feeling and how can I do this and blah blah blah?

至少试着去理解，而不是光说‘我感觉不好’，而是去想，我是感到孤独吗？

It's like at least try to understand instead of being like, I feel bad, I'm trying to see like, do I feel lonely?

还是感到悲伤？

Do I feel sad?

还是觉得不开心？

Do I feel unhappy?

然后精准地定位到具体是哪种情绪。

And pinpointing like an exact emotion.

这样我就不会只是笼统地说，天哪，我感觉糟透了。

And that way I'm not just like, God, I feel bad.

而且背后可能还连着这十个原因呢。

And it might be these 10 causes.

大概是，哦，我觉得压力太大了。

It's probably like, oh, I feel overwhelmed.

可能由这两个原因引起。

And it might be these two causes.

对。

Yeah.

我觉得了解自己的情绪很有帮助。

I feel like knowing your emotion is helpful.

我同意这一点。

I agree with that.

这也是我很乐意去了解的方面。

That's something that I also enjoy knowing.

我的咨询师还分享了一个让我受益匪浅的小知识，根据研究，每个人在处理情绪或创伤时，就像你刚才说的，方式都是各不相同的。

There was also a tidbit of knowledge that I really appreciated that my therapist shared with me, which is according to research, everyone, like, when they're processing their emotion or trauma or whatever, as you said, like, everyone does it differently.

没错。

Right.

研究基本表明，一个人当时的反应方式，往往就是他在当下能为自己做的最好的事。

And the research says basically that however a person reacts is most often the best thing that they can do for themselves in the moment.

因为这样做能让他们感觉还好，或者说至少还能掌控局面。

Because it's like something that will allow them to still feel like okay or like manageable, I guess, in a sense.

所以哪怕这是种新体验，或者和你平时的做法不一样，你也应该尽量去相信：他们的反应是合理的，因为那就是他们当时最合适的应对方式。

So it's like even though it might be a new experience or different from what you do or whatever, you should like try your best to just trust that their reaction is something like, they reacted because that's, like, the best way for them to react.

确实如此。

Mhmm.

所以你能做的，可能就是顺着他的方式来配合一下。

And so how you can help potentially is to just, like, play along with it.

我当时就想，哦，原来是这样。

And I was like, oh, okay.

说实话，这确实很有道理。毕竟你是谁啊？谁有资格去教别人该怎么处理自己的情绪呢？

I mean, that does make a lot of sense because who are you who is anyone to tell anyone how to do their emotional processing?

哇，太对了。

Damn.

我其实挺喜欢这个观点的。

I actually really like that tidbit.

这让我想到，人与人之间的差异真的很大，甚至连情绪的强度或者人们最初感受到的情绪范围都各不相同。

I think it makes me think about how people are so different and even, like, the intensity of emotions or the range of emotions that people even feel in the first place are so different.

对。

Mhmm.

就拿我自己回避情感这件事来说吧。

Even taking, like, the act of me avoiding my feelings.

也许是因为如果我在当时就去处理它，那种感觉会太强烈或者让人难以承受。

It could be that if I try to deal with it in the moment, it would be too intense or too overwhelming.

所以我干脆让它慢慢淡化，或者就这样放着不管。

So I kind of let it fade or something.

对。

Mhmm.

我可能有点想太多了。

And I'm probably overanalyzing here.

不过我觉得挺有意思的，能了解大家是怎么处理自己的情绪的。就像你说的，哪怕方式跟我不同。

But I think it's kind of fascinating to know how people deal with their feelings, like you said, even if it's different from the way I do it.

而且总能学到新东西。

And there's always something to learn.

我很喜欢听别人分享，虽然面对的是同一种情绪，但处理方式却不一样。有时候这还能给我启发，让我以后遇到同样情绪时知道该怎么应对。

Like, I love kind of hearing how people feel the same emotion but sort through it in a different way, and that sometimes serves as inspiration for how I would do it later, you know, when I feel that same emotion.

毕竟每个人的性格类型都不一样嘛，所以处理情绪的方式自然也会不同。

Just as, like, everyone has different personality types or, you know, whatever, of course, then they would have, like, different ways of dealing with their emotions.

这真的很有道理。

It just it makes so much sense.

对。

Right.

所以我提到过，我情绪不好的时候通常喜欢一个人待着。

So I mentioned that I usually like to just spend time alone when I'm like emotional or whatever.

所以有时候我就会觉得需要长时间地完全隐居起来。

So sometimes that just makes me feel like I need to go on an extended like period of extreme hermit attitude or whatever.

你觉得你情绪不好的时候，是更喜欢有人陪着，还是更喜欢一个人待着？

Do you think you're someone who prefers to be surrounded by people or to spend more alone time when you're, like, emotional?

哦。

Oh.

我觉得我的本能其实是自己一个人待着。

I think actually my instinct is to spend time by myself.

嗯。

Mhmm.

如果我心情真的不好，或者状态不对，我也喜欢一个人待着，因为我不想把负面情绪传染给别人。

If I'm really not in a good mood or not in the right headspace, I like to spend time by myself also because I don't wanna put other people in a bad headspace.

对。

Mhmm.

我也不想冲朋友发火，因为我意识到情绪有时候来得特别快，一件小事就能引发连锁反应。

And I don't wanna do something like lash out at my friends because I know emotions are sometimes very tightly close together that it might know, thing leads to another.

我发现对我最有效的处理方式就是跟人聊聊，敞开心扉，不管是跟心理咨询师、妈妈还是亲密的朋友。

I realized that the best way for me to process my emotions is to talk about it and, open up to people about it, whether that's my therapist or my mom or my close friends.

我试着去缩小这个差距，而不是让自己躲起来或者陷入负面情绪的漩涡。

And I'm trying to close the gap instead of letting myself hermit and maybe spiral down.

因为对我来说，独处并没有你想象中那么高效。所以我尽量缩短独处的时间，更快地把情绪说出来。

Because for me being alone is not as productive, I would say, as it might be for you, I'm trying to reduce that time and talk about my emotions quicker.

我觉得有个心理咨询师帮忙真的很有用。比如我会想，好吧，我得找点事做，或者至少还有两周就能见到我的咨询师了。

And I would say having a therapist helps a lot because I'm like, Okay, I have to have something or like, you know, like at least in two weeks I'll see my therapist.

希望这样能帮我解决掉这些情绪问题。

That hopefully will help resolve some of these feelings and stuff.

而且我觉得有时候把自己的情绪憋在心里，不跟朋友分享，也会让我觉得有点孤单。

And I think also sometimes bottling up my emotions and not sharing it with my friends can feel a little bit isolating for me as well.

所以这算是一个慢慢改进的过程吧，但我在试着不要那么“什么事都自己扛”，而是更多地说“嘿，你能帮我一起处理这种情绪吗？”

So kind of like a work in progress, would say, but I'm trying to be a little bit less, I'm gonna deal with this all by myself about it and like more, hey, like, can I get your help on processing this certain emotion?

我觉得，虽然我确实喜欢独处，但跟别人聊聊自己的情绪也挺好的。

I think, like, even though I do like to spend time alone, it is kind of nice to like chat about your emotions with people as well.

对。

Right.

所以我想有时候是这样的：我会先想很久，然后突然说，哦，嘿，你们想不想听听我在想什么？

So I guess sometimes it's like, I'll think about it for a long time and then I'll be like, oh, hey guys, wanna hear what I was thinking about?

天哪，想象一下，如果你去看心理医生，然后你说“我就是不知道今天该说”

Dude, imagine though, if you went to therapy and you're like, I just don't know what to

什么”。

talk about today.

那他们会怎么做？

Like, what would they do?

天哪。

Oh my god.

你就像在说，我的生活过得挺不错的。

You're like, my life is going great.

也许他们会说

Maybe they would be

那咱们让你的生活更棒吧。

like, let's make your life greater.

他们肯定会说，咱们来好好聊聊这个。

They'd be like, let's unpack that.

你确定你真的感觉很好吗？

Are you sure you're feeling great?

我觉得我的一个大目标就是，我们之前也聊过，一对一的环境其实是最适合敞开心扉分享感受的。

I think one of my bigger goals though is we kinda shared how the one on one setting is one of the most conducive spots to really share about your feelings.

但我觉得有时候这意味着，如果你在一个更大的朋友圈子里，比如超过六七个人，那聊天可能就没那么坦诚和真实了。

But I think sometimes that means when you're in a bigger friend group setting of, I don't know, say above six to seven people, then the conversations might not be as raw.

所以我觉得我的目标之一就是，怎么让一大群朋友的聚会也能像一对一那样亲密、坦诚，而且有那种私密感？

So I think that's kind of one of my goals is like, how do I make these big friend group Hangouts also as intimate and as vulnerable and, like, as personal as a one on one hangout would be?

拿点红酒，再来个熟食拼盘。

Get some wine and a charcuterie board.

没错。

True.

关掉

Turn off

几根蜡烛。

some candles.

不错。

Nice.

很高兴我们想法一致。

I'm glad we're on the same page.

是啊。

Yeah.

好的，谢谢你，Jisoo，和我聊了聊我们的情绪。

Well, thank you, Jisoo, for chatting with me about our emotions.

希望这期节目对听众来说还算有趣，或者在某些方面能引起共鸣。

Hopefully, it was something that was somewhat enjoyable to our listeners or maybe relatable in some ways.

如果你们谁想分享自己情绪上头时的样子，欢迎在社交媒体上联系我们，账号是eatyourcrustpod，我们也有邮箱，eatyourcrustpod@gmail.com。

If any of you wanna share what you're like when you're in your feels, feel free to reach out to us on social media at eatyourcrustpod, and we also have email, eatyourcrustpodgmail dot com.

如果你想收听我们的其他节目，别忘了在Spotify、Apple Podcasts或其他播客平台上订阅我们。

And if you'd like to catch our other episodes, then don't forget to subscribe to us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or any other podcasting platform.

我们每周三早上更新新一期节目。

We upload new episodes every Wednesday morning.

感谢收听。

Thanks for listening.

还有，别忘了吃掉你的面包边。

And don't forget to eat your crust.