与家人朋友的父母交谈

我觉得这超级好笑

It's or it's like, I feel like it's hella funny

哦，是的。

Oh, yeah.

但没人笑。

But no one laughs.

我就想，哦，好吧。

And I'm like, oh, okay.

这在英语里会很好笑，不过也没关系。

This would have hit in English, but that's fine.

等等。

Wait.

我和我父母之间已经发生过很多次这种情况了。

That has happened so many times with me with my parents.

他们说，你不能这么说中文。

They're like, you can't say Chinese like that.

我就说，好吧。

I'm like, okay.

我在想，也许成年人在与孩子相处时，会以其他方式有所保留，因为我记得小时候，有时候大人对孩子会更直接、更坦率一些。

I wonder if there's, like, other ways that maybe the adults hold back though because I kind of remember times when we were growing up where sometimes the adults would be more straightforward with the kids or, like, more direct or something.

嗯。

Mhmm.

然后其中一个孩子就会生气或者情绪化。

And then one of the kids would get pissy or, like, emotional.

或者小时候情绪更多，因为每个人年纪都更小，或者压力更大。

Or there was, like, just, like, more emotion growing up because everyone is, like, younger or, like, more stressed.

是的。

Yeah.

现在我觉得每个人都特别放松。

Now I feel like everyone is just super chilled out.

我在想，我们现在是不是更快乐、更放松了，大家处在同一水平，还是只是彼此都保持礼貌。

I'm like, wonder if we're like more happy and relaxed now and we're on the same level or everyone is just being polite.

哦，我明白了。

Oh, I see.

是的。

Yeah.

我也在想，也许他们也不知道该问我们什么。

I also wonder, maybe they don't know what to ask us as well.

没错。

True.

父母知道你是做什么工作的吗？

Do the parents know what you do for work?

我觉得他们大概有个模糊的印象。

I think they, like, vaguely they have, like, a vague assumption.

是的。

Yeah.

有时候我会试着解释，心里也在琢磨要不要深入细说

And sometimes I try to explain it, and I'm, like, trying to gauge in my head if it's worth going, like, into deep detail or

不是。

not.

嗯嗯。

Mhmm.

但没错，他们只是大概知道是哪个领域。

But, yeah, they just, like, know kind of the field.

是的。

Yeah.

所以我觉得对我来说也很相似。

So I feel like that's very similar for me too.

嗯嗯。

Mhmm.

而且我也不太知道怎么用中文描述我的工作。

And I also don't really know how to say my job in Chinese.

是的。

Yeah.

我之前也问过我父母，他们说：哦，不太确定。

And I've asked my parents before too, and they're like, oh, not sure.

也许是这个？

Maybe it's this?

因为有些计算机相关的东西，我们也不知道该怎么准确表达。

Because some computer things are like, we don't know what the right word for that stuff is either.

对。

Right.

所以我觉得，所有父母都知道我所在的公司，但并不真正了解我的工作内容。

And so I feel like all the parents, they know my company, but they don't really know what I do.

他们能问的最多就是：你还在那家公司吗？

So the most they can ask is, like, are you still at that one company?

我就说：是的。

And I'm like, yeah.

他们就说：挺好。

And they're like, cool.

你知道吗，你提到这一点很有趣，因为就像我之前说的，他们也只模糊地知道我从事哪个领域。

You know, that's interesting that you bring it up because, I mean, like I mentioned, they also only vaguely know what field I'm in.

嗯。

Mhmm.

所以和你一样，没什么好聊的，无非就是问一句：你工作怎么样？

So similar to you, there's not much to really talk about because it's just like, oh, how's your job?

还不错。

It's good.

好的。

Okay.

我换个话题。

I'm moving on.

但我感觉有时候注意到他们跟那些男生聊得特别深入。

But I feel like sometimes I noticed them going really in-depth with the guys.

或者，现在我嫁给了詹姆斯，我们会见到好几对朋友父母。

Or, like, now that I'm married to James, we see, like, multiple sets of family friend parents.

嗯。

Mhmm.

每个人都对詹姆斯的工作非常感兴趣。

And everyone is, like, very invested in what James does.

哦，有意思。

Oh, interesting.

我觉得他们对我的工作没那么上心。

I feel like it's they're, like, not as invested in what I do.

等等。

Wait.

老兄，这说明詹姆斯是宠儿。

Dude, that just means James is the favorite child.

老兄，不是这样的。

Dude, no.

这对独生子女来说真是个打击。

This is devastating news for an only child.

但可能是因为他们理解他做什么。

But it's probably because they understand what he does.

对。

Right.

这其实挺有趣的，因为这让我想起我曾经在工作交流中走得最远的一次，嗯。

So this is really funny because that makes me think of the farthest I've been able to go in terms of, like, job talk Mhmm.

其实是我带我男朋友去的时候，大概是在第一年，头几次，嗯。

Is actually when I brought my boyfriend around, like, maybe it was the first year, the first couple times Mhmm.

我邀请他参加了一些我们的活动。

That I invited him to some of our stuff.

我还向一些家长介绍他。

And I was, like, introducing him to some of the parents.

我说，他在能源行业工作，比如石油和天然气之类的。

And I was, oh, he works in, like, energy, like, gas and oil or whatever.

那就是他学的专业，还有他做过的一些工作。

Like, that's what he studied and, like, some of the stuff that he worked in.

突然间，每个人都明白了他来自中国哪所大学，然后他们就说，哦，是啊。

Suddenly, everyone, like, knows what university from China, where they came from, and they're like, oh, yeah.

我还学过一堆化学工程之类的东西。

Like, I also did a bunch of chemical engineering or whatever.

我当时就想，这什么情况？

And I'm like, what the fuck?

突然间，一个全新的世界向我敞开了。

Like, suddenly, a whole world has opened up.

我当时还说，我根本不知道原来你们有60%都是化学工程师。

And I was like, I didn't even know that, like, 60% of you all are, like, chemical engineers.

新

New

认识你十五年后，终于解锁了这个新事实。

fact unlocked after, like, fifteen years of knowing you.

还有另一件特别疯狂的事，我男朋友的中文其实特别好。

Another, like, really crazy thing is that, my boyfriend, his Chinese is actually really good.

过去，在他的一些工作中，当他的同事或经理是中国人时，他们会直接用普通话和他讨论工作。

And in the past, in some of his jobs, when his peers or managers have been Chinese, they just speak Mandarin to him, like, about work.

哇。

Wow.

而且

And

我觉得这真的很高级，是的。

I'm like, dude, I feel like that's very high level Yeah.

能用中文表达技术性内容。

Chinese to be able to say, like, technical stuff too.

所以他和父母能够进行更深入的交流。

And so him and the parents were able to, like, talk more in-depth.

天啊。

Oh my god.

他一直在为这一刻做准备。

He's been preparing for this moment.

他们正在抛出各种技术术语，用中文说化学东西。

They're spitting out technical terms, saying chemistry in Chinese.

我当时就想，这你该怎么说啊？

I'm like, how do you even say that?

你知道的吧？

You know?

他们可能还在说别的，比如各种气体之类的。

And they're probably, like, saying different, like, other, you know, gases and whatever.

没错。

Right.

对。

Right.

我觉得这太疯狂了。

And I'm like, this is crazy.

我这辈子从未与这些成年人达到过这种程度的相互理解，也从未能如此顺畅地彼此共鸣。

I have never unlocked this level of, like, mutual understanding and, like, ability to relate to each other in my life with these adults.

我想在某些方面，他们可能会想，天哪。

I guess in some ways, they're probably like, oh my god.

这个人研究的也是我研究的东西。

This person studies what I also study.

我们有这么多共同点。

We have so much in common.

我们可以就这个领域聊一聊。

We can, like, talk about it in the field.

但我觉得，因为我研究的是亚洲父母根本不了解的冷门领域，这种感觉真的很不好。

But I feel like as the person who's in a more niche field that Asian parents don't know, it just, like, feels bad.

你知道的。

You know?

他们就会说，哦，是的。

They're like, oh, yeah.

Crystal有工作。

Crystal has a job.

就连我父母有时也会说，等等。

Even my parents are sometimes like, wait.

你做什么工作？

What do you do?

天哪。

Oh my god.

老天，说实话，这也很搞笑，因为詹姆斯和我经常见到你男朋友。

Dude, honestly, that's also so funny because James and I see your boyfriend a lot.

是的。

Yeah.

我发誓，他至少给我们解释过十次他研究的是什么。

I swear he has explained what he studies to us, like, 10 times.

偶尔，一些认识你们但不太熟的人会问我和詹姆斯，是啊。

And once in a while, someone else who knows you guys but not as well will ask me and James like, yeah.

他现在研究的是什么？

Like, what does he study right now?

我们就像沉默了，

We're like silent,

根本没法解释他学的是什么。

like unable to explain what he's studying.

等等。

Wait.

我来给你复习一下。

I'll give you a refresher.

没关系。

It's okay.

我还是去问你的家人朋友吧。

I'll just ask your family friends.

其实，天啊。

Actually, oh my god.

现在想起来，这真是个特别有趣的故事。

This is such a funny story now that I'm thinking about it.

是的

Mhmm.

最近，我和我爸去了一家汽车经销商，因为他想买辆车。

So recently, I was at, like, a car dealership with my dad because he wanted to buy a car.

有趣的是，我朋友的父母也在那里买车。

The funny thing is my friend's parents were also there buying a car.

是的

Mhmm.

于是我过去打了个招呼，结果我爸爸和她爸爸其实认识，因为他们在同一家公司工作。

And so I went over to say hi, and my dad and her dad actually know each other because they work at the same company.

是的

Mhmm.

我们小时候曾经一起拼车去游泳。

And we used to carpool for, like, swimming when we were younger.

于是他们说，天哪。

So then they're like, oh my god.

好久不见。

Long time no see.

然后他们坐下来聊了一会儿。

And they sat and chatted for a bit.

接着我朋友的妈妈也在那里。

And then my friend's mom, she was also there.

然后我们又聊了几句。

And then we chatted a little bit.

我说，哦，我听说你在搞家装，你女儿跟我提过，等等等等。

I was like, oh, like, I heard you're, you know, like, doing some home remodels like your daughter told me, blah blah blah.

她问我最近怎么样，然后问起了我男朋友。

She asked, like, how I'm doing, and then she asked about my boyfriend.

接着我谈了谈他学的专业。

And then I talked about what he studies.

然后她就说，哦。

And she was like, oh.

然后我们开始更深入地聊他所学的内容。

And then we started literally talking more just about what he's studying.

我说，我明白了。

I'm like, I see.

他的专业真的触及了更多成人的耳朵和思想。

His field truly reaches so many more adult ears and minds.

这是一个让成年人感到愉悦的研究领域。

It's an adult pleasing field of study.

有趣的是，我和他女儿实际上做着类似的工作。

And the funny thing is me and her daughter, we actually do the same kind of work.

所以我想她可能心里想，是啊。

So I wonder if she was like, yeah.

我不知道你们到底在搞什么名堂。

I don't know what the hell you guys are doing.

所以让我来聊聊你们的男朋友吧。

So let me just talk about your boyfriends.

老兄，老实说，我部分也在想这是否跟性别有关，最近我一直在思考这个问题。

Dude, honestly, part of me also wonders if it's a gender thing, and I was trying to think about this more recently.

我在想，如果我有一份非常容易理解的工作，大家都知道，嗯。

I was like, if I had, like, a very accessible job that everyone knows Mhmm.

你不需要解释太多。

You don't have to explain much.

比如说，如果我是个医生、律师之类的，我觉得大人们会更常问我关于我工作的问题。

Like, say I was, a doctor or a lawyer or something, I think the adults would ask me more questions about my job.

但与此同时，我觉得如果詹姆斯有那样的工作，他们还是会问他比问我这个医生或律师更多的问题。

But at the same time, I feel like if James had that kind of job, they would still ask him more questions than they would ask me as a doctor or a lawyer.

你明白我的意思吗？

You know what I mean?

是的。

Yes.

我完全明白你的意思。

I totally get what you're saying.

我觉得我也能认同你的观察。

I think I can agree with your observation too.

我觉得在我家的亲友圈里也可能发生这种情况。

I think that might happen in my family friend group too.

他们更倾向于问男孩们是做什么工作的，多了解一些细节，对吧。

They're more prone to asking the boys what their job is, some more details Right.

比如工作进展得怎么样。

Like how things are going at work.

而对于女孩，他们就说，你们都有工作啊。

And then for the girls, it's like, you guys have jobs.

不错。

Nice.

天啊。

Damn.

你认为在某些人眼里，工作对男性的身份认同更重要吗？

Do you think jobs are a bigger part of men's identities to, like, some people's eyes?

那

That

这很可能确实是真的。

could be true for sure.

我想另一个让我想到的是，当我看到那些妈妈们时，我觉得有太多话题可以聊了。

I guess the other thing that comes to mind too is, like, sometimes when I see the moms, I feel like there's so much more to talk about.

比如，先夸一下她们的服装、包包和鞋子，然后聊聊家、旅行之类的事情。

You know, start off with, like, complimenting the outfits and the bags and the shoes and then talking about, like, the homes or travel or whatnot.

所以，也许职业对话在我们这里，至少对我来说，优先级没那么高。

So maybe the career conversation just is lower on the totem pole for us or at least for me.

也许我只是不觉得我的职业是我身份中最重要的部分。

Maybe I just don't think of my career as, like, the top thing in my identity.

是的。

Yeah.

当然。

For sure.

我尽量避免过多谈论工作。

I try to avoid talking about work too much.

我觉得和普通朋友、同龄人在一起时就是这样。

I think, with with, like, general friends and peers and stuff.

对。

Right.

所以也许这一点也延续了下来，和那些妈妈们的情况有点类似。

So maybe that carries over a bit, and then maybe that's similar to, like, the moms and stuff.

我觉得在中国文化中，女性找工作之类的事情确实没那么受压力，我想。

I think also in, like, Chinese culture as well, women getting jobs and stuff is definitely not something as, like, pressured, I guess.

嗯。

Mhmm.

因为我觉得很多人知道他们最终想要孩子，于是就会说，我愿意为孩子牺牲事业，嗯。

Because I feel like a lot of people know that they wanna have kids eventually, and then they're like, I'll happily sacrifice my career for kids Mhmm.

至少在那个年代是这样的。

Kinda thing, at least, you know, in that generation.

我觉得这就是我的感受。

I think that's the vibe I get.

是的。

Yeah.

我的意思是，我妈妈也主要在家带孩子，所以我觉得对我们家来说也是如此。

I mean, I also had, like, a mostly stay at home mom, so I think that holds true for us as well.

嗯。

Mhmm.

也许他们只是觉得工作无聊透顶。

Maybe they're also just like, work is boring as fuck.

我注意到，随着我们年龄增长，现在和成年人之间的共同点越来越多了，这让我觉得不可思议，因为小时候我总觉得，天啊，我的家人朋友、父母根本不懂我。

I've noticed that the older we get, there's just more that we have in common with the adults now, which is crazy to me because when we were young, I was just like, dude, you know, my family friend, parents, they don't know me.

但现在我却想，天哪。

But now I'm like, oh my god.

我们都去同一个国家旅行，只是时间不同，但可以分享旅行推荐。

Like, we all travel to the same country, but at different times, like, we can share travel recs.

或者，他们正在为退休做计划，我的父母也是。

Or, like, they are planning for retirement and so are my parents.

或者，你知道，他们也买了房子。

Or, like, you know, they also bought a house.

他们还买了车。

They also bought a car.

诸如此类的事情。

Blah blah blah.

然后我就想，我们和他们之间的交集越来越大，按理说对话应该更自然、更容易，但我觉得还没到那一步。

And I'm just like, the Venn diagram between us and them is growing bigger and bigger, which would mean conversation should get more natural and easy, but I don't think it's quite there yet.

是的。

Yeah.

我刚才

I was

正想说，我们难道不应该有更棒的对话吗？

just about to say, shouldn't we have better conversations?

这还在进行中。

It's a work in progress.

是的。

Yeah.

为什么我们还是只能做些简单的问候，聊一分钟小话，然后就说‘哦，你的朋友们在那边’？

Why is it still just, like, check ins, small talk for one minute and then, oh, your friends are back over there

是的。

Yeah.

在沙发上。

On the couch.

我觉得还发生了一些有趣的事。

I think there's also something funny that happens.

现在这种情况对我而言少多了，因为我见父母的次数变少了。

Less so to me now because I don't see my parents as often.

但有时候，当我跟家人朋友的父母在一起，而我的父母也在场时，他们会问我一个问题，然后我会试着回答。

But sometimes when I hang out with my family friend parents and my parents are there, the parents will ask me a question, and then I'll, like, try to respond back.

但一旦我开始结巴，我妈妈就会替我回答。

But once I start stumbling on my words, my mom will just respond for me.

我当时就想：等等，什么鬼？

And I'm like, wait, what the fuck?

你就像在说：妈妈，给我个机会吧。

You're like, give me a chance, mom.

我正在

I'm

心想：好吧，我的代言人来了。

like, okay, my spokesperson is here.

是的。

Yeah.

有时候我也注意到，其中一位家长会用完全能听懂的英语或中文跟我说话，而我却只是呆呆地盯着他们。

Sometimes I also noticed that one of the parents might say something to me in completely understandable English or Chinese, and I just, like, stare blankly.

然后我妈妈就会把同样的话再说一遍，也许用的词更简单，我就想：哦，对。

And then my mom just says the exact same thing, Maybe in, like, even simpler words, I'm like, oh, yes.

我明白你的意思。

I know what you're saying.

是的。

Yeah.

你知道吗，现在想想，也许这对生活在美国内地、语言能力不够强或不够自信的人来说是很常见的。

You know, now that I think about it, maybe this is something that's common for people who live in The US, for us who, like, aren't as strong or as confident in our language skills.

嗯。

Mhmm.

但我记得当我十八九岁的时候回过一次韩国。

But I have this memory of going back to Korea when I was, like, 18 or 19 or something.

对。

Yeah.

吃饭时我姑姑问我一个问题。

My aunt had asked me a question at dinner.

我想那时候我的舌头还没热身好。

I think my, like, tongue wasn't warmed up enough yet.

出于习惯，我没有回答，而是看向我妈妈，给了她你刚才说的那种眼神。

And out of habit, I, instead of responding, looked at my mom and gave her that same stare that you were talking about.

是的。

Yeah.

我觉得我阿姨，因为她生活在韩国，不了解韩国裔美国人或在美国移民的生活经历。

And I feel like my aunt, because she, you know, lives in Korea where, like, she doesn't know the, like, Korean American or, like, the immigrant experience of being in The US.

我觉得她觉得这很奇怪。

I think she thought it was weird.

她还问，这个问题有那么难吗，以至于你得去问你妈妈？

And she was like, is that a question so challenging that you have to ask your mom or something?

当时我很尴尬，心想，哦，我不知道我为什么会那样做。

And then at the time I was embarrassed and I was like, oh, you know, I I don't know why I did that.

但现在我想明白了，只是我的韩语太差了。

But now I'm like, it's just my Korean is bad.

习惯了让我妈妈帮我翻译一切。

Like, used to my mom translating everything.

是的

Yeah.

不

No.

当然

For sure.

现在我只会点头微笑。

Like, now what I just do, I just nod and smile.

点头微笑，发出一些表示认同的声音。

Nod and smile, make some affirming noises.

是的

Yeah.

哇哦

Woah.

是的

Yeah.

哇。

Wow.

非常有说服力。

Very convincing.

得试试看。

Have to try it out.

是的。

Yeah.

你 definitely 应该试试。

You definitely should.

因为有时候，比如我和我妈在一起时，有人跟我们说话，语速快得像在飞奔。

Because sometimes, like, me and my mom are hanging out, and then someone's talking like a mile a minute to us.

然后，你知道的，我就想，好吧。

And, you know, I'm like, okay.

幸好我妈妈在这儿。

Thank god my mom's here.

她会理解的。

She'll understand.

我只能点头微笑，装作明白他们在说什么。

I will just have to nod and smile like I know what's going on.

我也在想，英语对话中是不是有一种特定的节奏，让你知道什么时候可以插话。

I also wonder if you know how in in English when you have a conversation, I feel like there's certain cadences to where you cut in.

但在亚洲，我觉得你插话的速度和方式似乎不太一样。

But in Asia, I feel like the speed in which you cut in and how you cut in is kinda different.

所以有时候，我能听懂他们在说什么，也想回应，但等我准备好开口时，他们已经说下一句了。

So sometimes it's like, I can understand what they're saying and I might have something to say, but by the time I'm like ready to say it, they've like moved on.

天哪。

Oh my god.

或者时机已经不对了。

Or it's like not the right timing anymore.

我就想，哦，好吧。

And I'm like, oh, okay.

我想我只能在这段对话的其余时间保持沉默了。

Guess I'm not I'm just like being silent for the rest of this conversation.

我不知道该怎么说‘绕回来’这个意思。

And I'm like, I don't know how to say circling back in

韩语里，你知道的？

Korean, you know?

等等。

Wait.

顺便说一下，我们五分钟前聊的那件事，是的。

By the way, the thing we were talking about, like, five minutes ago Yeah.

我想插一句。

Just need to put my word in.

我突然想到另一件有趣的事，关于我们和朋友家父母一起聚会的情况。

Oh, I did have another funny thought about, like, us hanging out with parents of family friend groups.

嗯。

Mhmm.

疫情期间，我曾和一些家长在很小的圈子里一起聚会。

There was a few times during COVID where I would hang out with the parents in, like, a very small group.

那时候，我觉得自己可能是湾区唯一的孩子。

And I think at the time I was maybe one of the only kids in the bay.

我们在一起玩过几次牌，玩的是大二。

We played cards together a few times and we played big two.

这种游戏有很多亚洲版本。

There's a bunch of, like, Asian variations of that one.

对。

Right.

我当时就想，哦，这个游戏我知道。

And I was like, oh, I know this game.

于是我加入他们一起玩，结果他们说：等等，首先，你居然知道这个游戏？

And so I joined them and we're playing and then they're like, wait, first of all, you know this game?

我当时就说：别开玩笑了，老兄。

I was like, come on, dude.

大二？

Big two?

然后他们又说，等等，你还挺厉害的。

And then they're second of all, they're like, wait, you're kinda good.

我们一直赢。

Like, we keep winning.

别闹了，兄弟。

I was like, come on, dude.

我只是个孩子，但不等于我傻。

Like, just because I'm a kid doesn't mean I'm stupid.

等等。

Wait.

这话说得真好。

That's a good one.

通过游戏来证明自己的实力。

Like, proving your skills through games.

是的

Yeah.

我当时就说，喂，各位。

I was like, come on, guys.

像我也可以和你们一样厉害。

Like, I can be just as good as you all too.

而且实际上，我觉得在游戏中能稍微展现一下你的个性。

And actually, I feel like in games, can showcase your personality a little bit.

比如有些人很强势。

Like, some people are aggressive.

有些人则更聪明、更狡猾。

Some people are more clever and, like, sly.

当然。

For sure.

所以也许这就是你打破隔阂的方式。

So maybe that's how you break the barrier.

你就跟他们玩大二。

You just play big two with them.

就像不停地出牌。

Like, spam it.

其实你说得对。

Actually, you're right.

下次他们开始打牌时，我会说：我押10美元。

Like, next time they start playing cards, I'll be like, buy in $10.

老兄，我想到了另一种打破成人与孩子界限的方式。

Dude, I thought of another way that the adult kid barrier is broken.

我觉得当我们所有人都满21岁，开始能在家庭聚会中合法喝酒时，那种感觉真的很奇妙。

And I feel like when we all turned 21 and we started being able to, like, legally drink wine at family friend gatherings, it was, like, such a trippy experience.

老兄。

Dude.

所以当大人们在家庭聚会中走过来，递给我们一杯葡萄酒之类的时候，我记得刚开始，我会看向我父母，确认自己是不是可以喝。

So then when adults would come up to us at family friend parties and, like, offer us a glass of wine or something, I remember in the beginning, I would look at my parents to see if I was, like, allowed.

即使这是合法的。

Even though it's legal.

他们说，你都21岁了。

They're like, you're 21.

我还记得当时喝着葡萄酒，心想天啊。

And I also remember drinking the wine and being like, oh my god.

这葡萄酒尝起来好贵啊。

This wine tastes so expensive.

你懂我的意思吧？

You know what I mean?

哇，你那边都是些挺讲究的人啊。

Damn, you got some fancy people out there.

我觉得

I feel

更像是我们平时喝的那种，比如赤脚莫斯卡托之类的，但这次喝的可是正经瓶装葡萄酒。

like it's more like what we were used to drinking, like barefoot Moscato or something was You're very like, this was like a real bottle of wine.

我当时想，等等。

I'm like, wait.

这瓶酒的价格比5美元还贵。

This bottle of wine costs more than, like, $5.

这太疯狂了。

This is crazy.

是的。

Yeah.

还记得我在这集开头问过，父母是否认识我吗？

Remember when I asked in the beginning of this episode if the parents know me?

嗯。

Mhmm.

他们确实认识我一部分。

They actually do know part of me.

哦？

Oh?

我现在其实有个名声，就是我喝很多酒。

I actually have a reputation right now that I, like, drink a lot.

好的。

Okay.

这其实有两个方面。

There's actually two aspects to it.

一方面是我喝很多酒。

One is that I drink a lot.

嗯。

Mhmm.

另一方面是我懂酒。

And two is that I know wine.

所以现在我每次走进派对，他们都会说，哦，嗨，水晶。

So usually whenever I walk into a party now, they're like, oh, like, hi, Crystal.

然后他们会说，酒在那边。

And then they'll be like, wine's over there.

天哪。

Oh my god.

太好笑了。

That's so funny.

哎呀，今天我们有‘Hello Wine’了。

Like, oh, we have Hello Wine today.

我想知道，这种名声是经过多次聚会慢慢建立起来的吗？

I need to know if this is like a reputation that was built up over many gatherings.

还是说，有时候只要有一次标志性的聚会，然后你就突然有了这个名声？

Or sometimes there's like one iconic gathering and then boom, you have a reputation.

你知道的吧？

You know?

有一次我不小心喝太多了。

There was one time I did accidentally drink too much.

但我认为，即使在那之前，我就已经喝得很多了。

But I think even before then, I did just, like, drink a lot.

意思是，我会不停地给自己倒葡萄酒，然后他们就会问：‘你还好吗？’

As in, like, I would just keep pouring myself glasses of wine and they're like, are you good?

我当时就想：‘天哪。’

I was like, oh, dude.

我没事。

I'm fine.

他们就说：‘哇哦。’

And they're like, woah.

水晶在喝酒呢。

Crystal be drinking.

是的。

Yeah.

水晶很能喝葡萄酒。

Crystal can hold her wine.

对。

Yeah.

然后有一次我确实分享了，我当时想，哦，是啊。

And then one time I did share, I was like, oh, yeah.

我挺喜欢喝葡萄酒的，诸如此类的。

I'm, like, pretty into wine, blah blah blah.

他们就说，哦，这挺有意思的。

And they were like, oh, that's pretty interesting.

于是他们又多问了点，然后说，哦，好吧。

So they asked me a bit more and they're like, oh, okay.

也许Crystal真的懂葡萄酒。

Like, maybe Crystal does know her wine.

很不错。

Very nice.

是的。

Yeah.

其实挺搞笑的，因为有时候父母会突然拿出一瓶酒，问，你觉得这酒怎么样？

Actually, it's kind of funny because sometimes parents will randomly be like, they'll pull out a bottle and be like, oh, what'd you think of this wine?

他们一般都至少对这个有点兴趣，所以都有自己的看法，但不会太具体。

They're all generally a little bit at least a little bit into it, so they have their opinions, but they're not, like, too specific about it.

所以我想，这就是我们可以多聊一点的领域。

So I guess that's one area where we can, like, talk a little more.

这真的超好笑的。

That's honestly hella funny.

但我觉得，因为你真的懂酒，这完全不是什么坏名声。

But I feel like because you actually know your wine, it's not a bad reputation by any means.

你懂我的意思吧？

You know what I mean?

也许吧。

Maybe.

也许吧。

Maybe.

所有孩子也都懂。

All the kids know too.

他们就会说，‘克里斯特尔，你今天要喝点酒吗？’

They're like, oh, Crystal, are you gonna drink some wine today?

我觉得每当父母打开第一瓶酒时，他们都会来找我，问：‘你需要酒吗？’

I think also whenever the parents open the first bottle, they'll they'll come to me and be like, do do you need wine?

天哪。

Oh my god.

这太有代表性了。

That's so iconic.

是的。

Yeah.

我不会拒绝的。

I won't say no.

你觉得父母知道你这一面，会让你和他们更亲近吗？

Do you feel like having the parents know that side of you makes you feel, like, closer to them?

老天，我不知道。

Dude, I don't know.

我觉得有时候有点尴尬。

I feel like it's a little embarrassing sometimes.

是的。

Yeah.

哎呀，糟了。

I'm like, oh, shoot.

我不一定想被人当成一个酒鬼。

Like, I don't necessarily want to be known as, like, a drunkard.

我以为你就是那个爱喝红酒的女生。

I thought you're just, the wine girly.

也许吧。

Maybe.

但我觉得我们家朋友圈里的很多孩子其实并不怎么喝酒。

But I think also a lot of the kids in our family friend group, they actually don't really drink that much.

哦。

Oh.

所以说不定也是因为有这种对比，就会觉得，哦，对啊。

So maybe because of the comparison there too, it's like, oh, yeah.

克里斯托，她喝得还挺多的。

Crystal, like, drinks a decent amount.

嗯哼。

Mhmm.

我觉得对我们来说，关于喝酒的情况是，詹姆斯和我住得稍微远一些

I feel like the wine experience for us is James and I live a little bit further

对啊。

Right.

从我们平时常碰面的那些地方来看的话。

From some of the places that we usually tend to meet.

所以通常我们这群人里会有一个人负责开车。

So usually, one of us is driving.

所以大家总会先问，哎，今天谁开车？

So they always check like, oh, who's driving?

比如，今晚谁可以喝酒？

Like, who can drink tonight?

通常，詹姆斯和我会轮流来。

And usually, James and I will kinda switch off.

所以他们总是很乐意给另一个人倒一点酒。

So they're always, like, happy to pour the other person a little bit of wine.

是的。

Yeah.

啊，真可爱。

Aw, that's cute.

老兄，好吧。

Dude, okay.

你父母通常会在这种场合喝酒吗？

Do your parents usually drink at these?

因为我想起来，我刚学会开车时，我父母总是会说，好了。

Because I remember when once I learned how to drive, my parents would always be like, alright.

比如，要么克丽丝特尔，要么你哥哥开车，因为我们喝了一点点酒。

Like, either Crystal or your brother drive because, us like, we drank a little bit.

天哪。

Oh my god.

哇。

Wow.

这完全勾起了我的回忆。

That totally jogs the memory.

就像你刚拿到驾照时特别开心，然后才发现自己这辈子都要当代驾了。

It's like you get your license and you're so happy and then you realize you're the DD for, like, the rest of your life.

我完全忘了这回事。

Totally forgot about that.

但我的父母和他们的朋友确实会喝酒。

But my parents and their family friends do drink.

但我感觉他们现在喝得少多了。

But I feel like they drink a lot less now.

好的。

Okay.

随着他们年龄增长，不再疯狂聚会了。

As they get older, they're not party hardy anymore.

是的。

Yeah.

我觉得现在确实也是如此。

I feel like that's true too now.

所以现在我爸爸当我的代驾了。

So now my dad d d is for me.

天哪。

Oh my god.

这太好笑了。

That is so funny.

是的。

Yeah.

或者我哥哥在家的时候，他就会d d。

Or if my brother's home, then he'll d d.

哎呀。

Aw.

现在我简直能想象到你家的父母朋友，一边在好市多买葡萄酒，为这些晚餐做准备，一边心里想着：希望Crystal会喜欢这一款。

Now I'm, like, imagining your family friend parents being, like, buying wine at Costco in prep in preparation for these dinners and being like, hope Crystal likes this one.

可能更像说：嘿。

It's probably more like, hey.

再拿一瓶。

Get one more bottle.

Crystal今天要来。

Crystal's coming today.

多备点。

Up the supply.

多备点。

Up the supply.

这让我突然想到，每个孩子在家长之间是不是都有各自的名声。

That actually makes me wonder if each kid has a reputation amongst the parents.

比如选酒这件事，似乎是一种普遍共通的现象，就像一个家长圈里的梗。

Like, the wine one seems like it's kind of universally shared, like, maybe like a family friend meme.

嗯。

Mhmm.

但我相信，家长之间肯定也有一些关于孩子的秘密评价或内部笑话。

But I'm sure there's, like, secret reputations or, like, secret inside jokes that the parents might have about the kids as well.

哦，我完全能想象这种情况。

Oh, I could totally see that.

我觉得，等我当了父母，和我们自己的家长朋友圈在一起时，我肯定也会和詹姆斯说，是的。

I feel like when I'm a parent and we have, like, our own family friend group, I could totally see myself and James being like, yeah.

这个孩子会最先结婚。

This kid is gonna get married first.

这个孩子会做这件事。

Like, this kid is gonna do this.

而且我们可能还会为此打赌。

And maybe, like, we would place bets on it.

你知道的。

You know?

我

I

我觉得你会是那个红娘。

think you would be the matchmaker.

你会说，我想让这个孩子和那个孩子在一起。

You'd be like, I want this kid to get with that kid.

你说得太对了。

You're so right.

实际上，我朋友圈里的父母们确实都在牵线搭桥。

Actually, the parents in my family friend group, they totally matchmaked.

天哪。

Oh my god.

并不是他们主动撮合，但他们就是会想，哦，如果这些孩子将来要在一起，肯定会是这样配对的。

It wasn't like that they match made, but they were totally like, oh, like, if any of the kids were to get together, like, this is how they would pair off.

哦。

Oh.

哇。

Wow.

这其实才是八卦。

That's tea, actually.

作为家庭朋友圈里的成年人，真的有太多乐趣可言了。

There's so much fun to be had as the adult in a family friend group.

是的。

Yeah.

天啊。

Oh my god.

你们完全可以赌一赌他们将来从事什么工作。

You guys can totally bet on, like, their jobs too.

没错。

True.

没错。

True.

他们对数字感兴趣，所以可能会当会计师之类的工作。

They're interested in numbers, so they're gonna be an accountant or something like that.

或者比如，大学毕业之后，

Or like, oh, after college,

这个孩子很可能搬回来。

this kid will probably move back.

但这个孩子，我觉得会去纽约。

But this kid, I could see going to New York.

是的。

Yeah.

天啊。

Oh my god.

这实际上会非常有趣。

That would be so fun, actually.

老兄，当我们还是孩子的时候，父母们肯定特别开心，时不时瞥我们一眼，偷偷打赌。

Dude, the parents probably had so much fun when we were kids, just, like, glancing over at us and making, like, side bets.

太对了。

So true.

我觉得在我们家朋友聚会时，父母们总是拖很久才走，因为他们玩得太开心了。

And I feel like parents, at least at my family friend gatherings, used to take forever to leave the party because they were having too much fun.

哦，是啊。

Oh, yeah.

他们会在门口聊上整整一个小时。

Like, they would start talking on the door for, like, an hour.

没错。

Yes.

而我们呢，早就把鞋穿好了。

And we, like, have our shoes on.

然后我记得，最后我们还是会放弃，坐下来重新开始玩DS。

And then I remember, eventually, we would, like, give up, sit down, and start playing DS again.

对。

Yes.

然后他们就会说，好吧。

And then they would be like, okay.

我们要走了。

We're going.

我心里想，这什么啊，

I'm like, what the like,

我就又坐了回去。

I just sat back down.

老兄，但现在我们走得太快了。

Dude, but nowadays, we leave hella quickly.

我们还没到午夜就走了。

We leave before midnight.

你是说，你们全家都这样吗？

You mean, like, your whole family?

所有人。

Everyone.

除非是午夜活动，比如除夕夜，否则所有人会在午夜前全部离开。

Everyone clears out before midnight unless it's, like, a midnight event, for example, New Year's Eve.

然后，就在我们看完倒计时的那一刻，大家都说：好了。

Then, like, the moment we finish watching that countdown, everyone's like, alright.

就像，

Like,

我们现在得回家了。

we gotta go home now.

再见，大家。

Bye, everyone.

其实，是的。

Actually, yeah.

我也注意到了。

I've noticed that too.

现在有个明确的截止时间了。

There's like a hard deadline now.

是的。

Yeah.

别磨蹭了。

No dilly dallying.

对。

Yeah.

门口别再闲聊了。

No extra conversations at the door.

就是，快点。

It's like, hurry up.

后面的人还在等着呢。

People are waiting behind you.

我在想，父母们参加亲友聚会最开心的年龄段是什么时候？

I wonder, like, at what age for the parents are family friend parties the most fun?

哦。

Oh.

也就是说，峰值是在什么时候？还是说峰值还没到？

Like, when does it peak, or is the peak not here yet?

天哪。

Oh my god.

也许当大家都退休了，才是最热闹的时候。

Maybe it peaks when everyone's retired.

他们正在积极准备呢。

They're, like, gearing up.

因为现在有些人还在工作，有些人已经不工作了。

Because now some people are working, some people aren't.

但等他们完全退休后，就会彻底放开了玩。

But when they're fully retired, they're gonna go balls to the walls.

是的，就是这样。

Like, yeah.

每一天都像周末。

Like, every day is a weekend.

有时候现在他们会说，哦，明天又是周一了。

You know, sometimes now they're like, oh, you know, tomorrow's Monday.

不能太晚回家。

Can't Mhmm.

不能玩得太晚。

Stay out too late.

还是有事要做。

Still got stuff to do.

但一旦退休了，老兄，他们就会说，我再也没有责任了。

But once they're retired, dude, they're like, I got no responsibilities anymore.

你们可以留宿。

You guys can sleep over.

这就像持续好几天的

It's like a multi day

这叫什么来着？

what is it called?

狂欢派对。

Bender.

哦，对。

Oh, yeah.

太疯狂了。

That's wild.

他们说，我们给每个人都准备了睡袋。

They're like, we got sleeping bags for everyone.

如果退休可能是下一个或最大的高峰，我觉得第二大高峰可能是孩子上中学的时候。

So if retirement is maybe the next or biggest peak, I feel like the second biggest peak is probably when kids are in middle school.

因为那时候他们真的能自己玩得开心。

Because then they're, like, truly entertaining themselves.