三十岁

哦。

Oh.

你懂我的意思吧？

You know what I mean?

我当时用的那些词，其实根本不该是我用的，这才意识到自己根本算不上真正的Z世代。

It was like I was using a vernacular that I wasn't supposed to be, and I realized that I wasn't truly Gen z.

我只是在装样子罢了。

I was just pretending to be one.

天哪。

Oh my god.

等等。

Wait.

不是的。

No.

但你平时不就是这么说话的吗？你根本不是在装。

But, like, you just talk like that normally, so you're not pretending.

行吧，那行。

Well, okay.

其实我之前也是这么想的。

That's what I thought too.

但我当时特别怕，天呐。

But I had this fear of, oh my god.

我怕他们会觉得我是个老古董，在他们面前说这些词。

They're gonna think I'm a dinosaur using these words in front of them.

还有，我觉得因为工作上的需要，我会故意表现得比实际年龄更成熟一些。

Also, I think because at work, I try to present slightly more mature than I actually have.

有道理。

Fair.

确实是这样。

Fair.

没错。

Yeah.

正常来说，工作时表现得更专业、更得体，这没什么不对吧。

It's like normal, right, to be, like, more professional and kind of put together.

所以我根本没打算在办公室里用什么‘mug’啊，或者那些Z世代的流行语。

So then I wasn't trying to be, like, saying mug or, you know, whatever gen z slang at the workplace.

对。

Yeah.

我们之间确实有代沟。

There's a gap between us.

存在一道鸿沟。

There's a divide.

你意思是别让我在表格里用那些词坑你吧。

You're like, don't let me mug you on the spreadsheets.

说实话，我早该坦然接受的。

I should've just owned it, honestly.

你在工作中得学会切换说话方式。

You would have to code switch at work.

就是说，你转而去和年长的同事沟通时，会用专业得体的常规方式说话，但转头和年轻人聊天时，就会用上各种网络流行语。

Like, you turn around and you're talking to older people in a professional and, like, normal way, and then you turn around to talk to younger people, and you're using all the slang.

对的。

Yeah.

行吧。

Well okay.

其实如果要往深了说的话，我发现问题不只是那些流行语而已。

Actually, if I wanna do, like, a more in-depth analysis, I realized that it's not really just the slang.

我觉得你说的对

I think you're right.

那些流行语我用着确实更顺手

The slang does come more naturally to me.

没错

Mhmm.

但我只是心态和说话方式比较像Z世代而已

But I'm only Gen Z in my mind and in my words.

我觉得自己在某种程度上是Z世代，说话也像Z世代，但穿衣风格不像。

I think like Gen z to an extent, and then I speak like a Gen z, but I don't dress like one.

哦，这样啊。

Oh, okay.

或者说我并不会像Z世代那样打理头发。

Or I don't, like, do my hair like a Gen z.

是的。

Yeah.

这让我觉得自己像是在演戏。

And then that made me really feel like I was role playing.

啊。

Oh.

因为每次我都得刻意表现得像个Z世代，

Because I would have to, like, come out as a gen z,

你懂的。

you know?

因为我骨子里其实是Z世代的

Because I'm, like, an

内心是Z世代，但外表看着是千禧一代的，

internal gen z, but millennial presenting.

我的天呐，

Oh my god.

原来是这样

Okay.

另外给听众们补个说明，LARPing就是真人实景角色扮演的意思。

Also, side note for our listeners, LARPing stands for live action role playing.

这个说法最早是从直播圈里流行起来的，有一款游戏很多主播玩的时候都会全程代入角色来表演。

It originates from streaming because there's like a game where a lot of streamers basically role play as they play it.

LARPing这个说法就是这么来的。

So that's where LARPing came comes from.

我现在每天都在干这事。

That's what I've been doing on the daily.

老兄，你这么说自己在玩角色扮演，真是典型的Z世代风格。

Dude, see, that's so gen z of you to say you're LARPing.

哎呀，真的啊。

Oh, dude.

但你看看我，我明明是个千禧一代。

But when you look at me, I'm like a a millennial.

那Z世代的人在办公室里穿得也很Z世代吗？

So But do gen z people dress very gen z in the office?

就是说，他们是不是一眼就能看出来——

Like, is it very obvious that they're again, like

工作时确实如此。

work, yes.

哦。

Oh.

他们确实特别Z世代。

They're, like, very gen z.

哇哦。

Woah.

这还挺酷的。

Which is kinda cool.

我觉得千禧一代在职场上有一种特别的自由感。

I feel like there's, like, a sense of corporate freedom that gen z has.

他们就是穿得跟平时一样。

They just dress like how they normally would.

我觉得这样挺好。

I'm like, that's nice.

但我觉得千禧一代真的特别随意。

But I feel like gen z is, like, super casual.

对吧？

Right?

就是宽松的裤子，衣服松松垮垮的，有时候外套都快从肩膀滑下来了，你懂吧？

It's like very baggy clothes and, like, loose fitting, falling off their shoulders sometimes like a jacket, you know?

我觉得他们可能不会完全这么穿，但大概90%的日常穿搭，我猜他们在办公室也是这么穿的。

I I think they probably don't go, like, full out, but 90% of what they normally wear, I assume, they're, like, working at the office.

我明白了。

I see.

我懂了。

I see.

是的。

Yeah.

不过说真的，湾区的着装本来就更随意一点。

Well, to be fair, Bay Area tends to be a little more casual too.

对。

Right.

好吧。

Okay.

我之所以不清楚，是因为我办公室里没有Z世代的人。

See, I just don't know this because there's no Gen Z people in my office.

公司里根本没有真正的Z世代年轻人。

There's no true Gen Zers.

没错。

Yeah.

对啊。

Yeah.

但有时候我看着他们，真的会忍不住感叹，哇哦。

But sometimes I do look at them and I'm like, wow.

我在你这个年纪的时候

When I was your age.

也觉得自己有大把的时光可以挥霍，未来还有无限可能

I also felt like I had my entire life ahead of me.

你懂那种感觉吧？

You know?

好的

Okay.

但如果你只是开始穿得更像千禧一代呢？

But what if you just started dressing more Gen Z?

我其实觉得，到了我们这个年纪，可能就会发生这样的转变。

I actually wonder if that is the transition that happens around our age.

哦。

Oh.

因为我注意到，我公司里一些年纪大的人，穿得还挺有千禧一代风格的。

Because I noticed that some of the older people at my workplace, they dress kinda gen z.

哦，确实。

Oh, yeah.

因为他们跟得上潮流啊。

Because they're, like, on the trends.

对吧？

Right?

对。

Yeah.

没错，就是这样。

Exactly.

他们到了这个年纪，大概就不觉得非得穿得成熟老气，才能显得专业、得体了

They're at an age where maybe they don't feel like they have to dress older to look more professional and put together

对的。

Mhmm.

因为他们的事业已经稳了。

Because they are solid in their careers.

大家都认识他们的

Like, people know them.

他们在公司里地位都稳了

They're well established.

所以就能穿得更休闲随意些

So then they can kind of dress more casual.

对

Yeah.

所以我当时就觉得，对的

So I was like, yeah.

可能这个转变发生在三十岁到三十三四岁左右，相当于绕了一圈回到原点

Maybe the transition is, like, now, like, 30 to, like, 33 or 34 where you go full circle.

就好像“升级解锁”了，可以重新穿休闲穿搭了

You, like, graduate into being able to wear casual clothes again.

原来是这样

Okay.

说真的，你平时日常穿得一点都不老气。

Because I will say, in our casual day to day, you don't dress super old.

你的穿搭是千禧一代和Z世代风格的结合。

You dress kind of a mix of millennial and gen z.

没错。

Uh-huh.

哦，谢谢你呀。

Oh, thank you.

但我记得有一次在公司见过你。

But then I remember seeing you at work one time.

在公司里，你穿得像是三十五六岁到快四十岁的风格。

And at work, you dress, like, mid thirties to like early No.

对。

No.

你身上那种专业的气场特别明显。

Like, you got that professional air on.

现在我明白了，

Now that I'm

仔细想想，可能这只是我自己的感觉。

thinking about it, maybe it's just a me thing.

我觉得我妈妈一直都说，上班得穿得特别正式。

I feel like my mom has always been like, you have to dress super professional at work.

我爸爸则是那种每天都穿西装的人。

My dad is a wear a suit every day type of person.

所以可能只是我一个人这样。

So maybe this is isolated to just me.

是的。

Yeah.

你该融入科技圈的文化。

You should embrace the tech culture.

文化。

Culture.

确实如此。

That is true.

确实如此。

That is true.

好吧。

Okay.

我可能有点夸张了。

I might have exaggerated a bit.

因为我还能想象，你的穿搭要是带点Z世代风格，就是我那次见到你时穿的那套工作装。

Because I can also imagine your outfit Gen Z ified a bit, your work outfit that I saw you in one time.

但那次我见到你的时候，你打扮得挺得体的，你知道的吧？

But that time that I saw you, it was was pretty put together, you know?

兄弟，那天你看到我简直惊呆了。

Dude, that day, you were so shocked to see me.

你当时说，哇，你在公司里这么安静，还特别放松。

You were like, woah, you're so quiet and, like, chilled out when you're at the workplace.

我当时心想，天哪。

I was like, oh my god.

别老盯着我看行不行。

Stop perceiving me.

你那会儿简直像换了个人。

You were like a different person.

你特别内敛，举止也很得体。

You're very demure and like very proper.

哇哦。

Wow.

我这辈子从来没这么被看穿的感觉。

Never felt so exposed in my life.

我其实想问问你，你现在都三十多岁了，开启了人生的新阶段。

I do wanna ask you because now that you're in your thirties, you've essentially unlocked a new decade.

对。

Mhmm.

我觉得人生每开启一个新篇章，都会迎来新的目标，至少对我来说是这样的。

And with every new chapter of your life comes goals, I think, at least for me.

那你三十岁之后有没有什么想要实现的目标？

Do you have any goals that you wanna accomplish in your thirties?

我确实有一个目标。

I do have a goal.

哦。

Oh.

我定下一个目标，这十年的重点就在这上面。

I have made a goal and it's kind of this decade's focus.

这个目标简单说就是，我想在某项活动上达到顶尖水平。

The tldr of this goal is that I'm trying to reach a really high level in a certain activity.

哦，我明白了。

Oh, I see now.

不过我不太想老是说出来。

But I don't wanna say it out loud too many times.

怕说多了会不灵验。

I'm not trying to jinx it.

我不确定自己能不能冲到最顶尖，但我相信至少能到一个很高的水平。

I'm not super sure if I can reach the highest level, but I think I can reach definitely a very high level.

所以进入三十岁，这个目标对我来说很重要。

So entering my thirties, that is a big goal.

我觉得这个目标甚至能延续到四十多岁。

And I think it can also even extend into mid to late forties.

说实话，这个目标甚至可能延续到五十岁。

Honestly, it could even extend into fifties.

但我认为，这个目标的核心其实是多动一动，保持健康。

But I think, like, the foundation of this goal, though, is to be a little more active and stay fit.

过去这一年，我们在播客里聊过很多次这个话题，这正好说明了我们的

We've talked about this a lot on the podcast this past, like, year or so, And I think it just goes to show our

年龄。

age.

真够呛。

Fuck.

这确实会越来越占据你的心思，变得特别重要。

Like, this is just it becomes an increasingly important slash big chunk of your mind Yeah.

我们不再是无所不能的青少年或二十出头的年轻人了，所以得更用心地保持活动和健康。

That's like, hey, we're not invincible teenagerstwenty year olds anymore, so we do need to be a bit more intentional with being active and healthy.

也许这正是最根本的目标。

Maybe that is just the the foundational goal.

养成并坚持这些好习惯，就算年纪大了也能一直保持下去。

Building and keeping those good habits to maintain throughout our older age.

平时开车我都比较猛，开得很快。

Normally, I'm, like, a kind of aggressive slash fast driver.

就是总忍不住超速。

Like, I tend to speed.

对。

Mhmm.

但就在最近这几周，我突然反应过来，吓了一跳。

But recently, in the last few weeks, I was like, woah.

我是不是该在开车的时候慢一点？

Should I, like, slow down on the road?

这话听着特别傻，但我二十多岁的时候就觉得这么做天经地义。

Like, it sounds so dumb, but it just felt so normal to me in my twenties.

你懂那种感觉吧？

You know?

现在我快三十了，就觉得我确实应该更注意安全一些。

And now that I'm nearing my thirties, I was like, I should probably be more safe.

是的，没错。

Oh, yeah.

养成更安全的习惯，对。

Build safer habits Mhmm.

比如遵守限速，或者至少跟车流速度保持一致，总之就是 safest 的那个速度。

Including staying under the speed limit or, like, at speed limit or near, like, you know, traffic speed or whatever the safe safest thing is.

我完全能理解。

So I can totally understand.

但你有了新的目标设定心态，我想知道，你现在设定目标的方式，跟二十多岁时相比有什么不一样吗？

But with your new goal setting mindset, I wanna know if anything has changed between, like, how you approach goal setting now versus in your twenties.

你是不是更认真对待这件事了？

Do you feel more serious about it?

有什么变化吗？

You know, has anything shifted?

我最近其实也在想这件事，我打算把时间线拉得更久一点，从十几岁那时候开始说起。

I actually was reflecting on this a bit, and I'm actually gonna go all the way back to, like, teens and stuff.

对。

Yeah.

我发现从高中到大学，我从来都没有给自己设定过什么目标。

I realized that in high school, college, I just didn't have goals.

那时候我真没什么真正属于自己的目标，因为所有目标都已经被别人安排好了。

I didn't really have many real goals because we had our goals set for us.

那时候就只有按部就班：高中毕业、考上大学、读完大学、找份工作。

It was like graduate high school, get into college, finish college, get a job.

根本不会自己好好规划，列出未来一年里想要完成的目标。

It it wasn't as much like of your own personal thought out, I wanna do these things in the next year.

对的。

Right.

所以刚大学毕业那几年，二十岁出头的时候，我还在学习怎么给自己设定目标。

So graduating college and, you know, early twenties and entering the rest of my twenties, I was learning how to goal set.

因为那时候我们突然就被扔进了社会。

Because then we're really thrown out into the world.

再也不像以前那样，有毕业大学这类明确的目标了。

We don't have graduate from college kind of thing or, like, finish school kind of goals anymore.

就是得自己慢慢摸索着往前走。

It was like, all right, just figure it out on your own.

所以我当时其实也有一些目标，但同时也在琢磨，目标到底是个啥意思。

So I think I did have some goals, but I was also figuring out what goals even mean, I guess.

如果回头想想，我二十多岁时一些大的目标，比如自己一个人住。

Because if I reflect back, some of the bigger goals I had in my twenties were, like, live alone.

我甚至都不记得自己有没有过关于工作的目标。

I'm like, did I even have work goals?

我不太确定当时有没有。

I'm not sure if I did.

比如，找份工作。

Like, have a job.

你懂的。

You know?

那时候目标更简单，也更短期一些。

It was a little more simplistic simplistic and maybe, like, more short term.

比如，我觉得接下来半年到一年内能搞定这件事。

Like, oh, I think I can accomplish this in the next six months to a year.

所以我一向都是这么做事的。

So that's how I kind of approach things.

但现在我觉得，自己大概知道该怎么设定目标了。

But now I'm like, oh, I kind of know how to set goals.

在二十多岁的这十年里，我经历了许多，慢慢了解了自己，也弄清楚了在这个没有束缚的世界里，什么是我喜欢的，什么不是。

And I've experienced, like, a decade in my twenties of learning more about myself and figuring what I like and what I don't like in this, like, unrestrained world that we live in now.

所以现在我设定目标时，可能会更细致一些，比如为了达成这个目标，我得先做这些事。

So I think now when I make goals, maybe it's a little more detailed almost or, like, in order to reach this goal, I'm gonna need to do, like, these things.

我觉得现在的方式更有条理了，大概是这样。

So I think it's a little more organized, I guess.

其实有个特别有意思的例子，你知道我们工作上得写期望目标之类的吧？

Actually, a really funny example is, you know how we have to write our expectations or whatever at work?

是的。

Uh-huh.

我翻了翻以前写的，全是短短一句，特别模糊，几乎就是几个要点，你懂的？

I was looking back at my old ones, and they're literally just so it's like one sentence, like super vague and, like, very like, almost bullet points, like, you know?

到了年底，我再把它们整理一下，应付年终评估。

And then at the end of the year, I kind of clean it up for the year end review.

但今年，我三十岁了，写期望的时候，我居然写了一大堆特别详细、专业得不得了的目标。

But then this year, in my thirtieth year, I was writing my expectations, and I wrote these, like, super detailed, like, professional ass looking expectations.

我当时就愣住了。

And I was like, wow.

这真是个人成长啊。

This is character development.

某种程度上，这确实算一种能力。

I guess it is to an extent, a skill.

对吧？

Right?

目标设定这事儿。

The goal setting.

是啊。

Yeah.

挺有意思的。

It's interesting.

我觉得我的成长路径跟你不太一样，因为我以前定的目标太多太杂。

I feel like I had maybe a different growth development from you because I almost set too many goals.

想做的事太多，东一榔头西一棒子，全都是短期目标。

And it was so many things that I wanted to do that it was haphazard, and all of them were short term.

结果就是硬塞一堆根本完不成的事进一年里。

So then it was cramming all these unachievable things into one year increments or something.

现在年纪大了点，我才慢慢学会退一步，只挑一两个重点目标，不多定了。

And now that I'm a little older, I feel like I was able to kinda take a step back and maybe set, like, one or two goals and cap it at that.

这就是我内心的成长，你懂吗？就是有能力把事情理顺、简化，这样这个目标才说得通，作为

That was my internal growth, you know, like, being able to streamline it and, like, simplify it so that it makes sense as

一个真正的目标存在。

a goal.

而且很有意思的是，这些软技能我们其实一直在打磨，自己都没意识到。

And it's crazy that these, like, soft skills are things that we've been working on without even realizing.

我们当初并不是刻意说，必须要更会设定目标才行。

It wasn't like we were intentionally, we need to be better goal setters.

完全没错。

For sure.

就拿我之前举的那个例子来说吧，我当时说我的目标是一个人住。

Just thinking about the example that I had brought up earlier where I was like, my goal is to live alone.

这个目标就挺直白的。

That's like a very straightforward goal.

对吧？

Right?

是的。

Mhmm.

但当我提到我那个在三十岁左右才有的、比较模糊的目标时。

But then when I shared how, like, I have that other goal that is vague for our thirties.

不过呢，它背后有个基础目标支撑着。

But, you know, it has, like, a foundational goal to bolster it.

那些事情，我二十多岁的时候根本不会去想。

And that's, like, things I wouldn't really do in my twenties.

对。

Yeah.

我觉得这种长期的发展方向真的很棒。

And I think it's very cool how long term the trajectory is too.

它给你足够的时间和空间去慢慢适应、深入投入，而不必急于求成。

It, one, gives you time and space to grow into it and really work into it without having to rush things.

是的。

Mhmm.

而且我觉得，这还让我看出你的心态真的不一样了。

And it also, I think, just showcases to me, like, the different mindset that you have.

你有一个特别大的目标，而且不害怕花接下来好几年去实现它。

You have this one big cool goal, and you're not afraid to commit the next however many years it takes to, like, achieve it.

不像我们二十多岁的时候，那时候都是每年定个小目标，或者一些更小的事儿。

Versus in our twenties, it was, like, annual goals or maybe, like, smaller things.

对吧？

Right?

是的。

Mhmm.

对。

Mhmm.

我好像更敢把目标当成自己的事了。

It's almost like I'm less afraid to make a goal my own school.

不好意思。

Sorry.

这说不通。

This makes no sense.

但就像我之前说的，我们上学的时候，终极目标就是毕业，最好能顺利毕业。

But, like, when we enter school, as I mentioned, like, the ultimate goal is, hey, we need to graduate, hopefully.

对吧？

Right?

但现在却一点结构都没有了。

But then now it's like there's no structure.

但我心想，好吧。

But then I'm like, okay.

也许我可以给自己定些目标，建立一些框架。

Well, maybe I can put in some structure with some goals.

你就是在给自己设计课程，安排类似考试、期中测验这样的节点，还有自己的里程碑。

You're like setting up your own curriculum, your own equivalent to exams or, you know, midterms or whatnot and, like, setting up your own milestones.

这对我来说，算是一种挺有意思的转变。

So it's kind of an interesting evolution for myself.

是的。

Yeah.

我现在就像一只火恐龙。

I'm now Charmeleon.

等我五十岁的时候，也许我就进化成喷火龙了。

And when I'm 50, maybe I'll be Charizard.

到了你人生的第六个十年。

In your sixth decade.

是的。

Yeah.

好吧。

Okay.

我还有个感觉，你有没有同感？

I also have this feeling, and let me know if you feel the same way.

我最近在想三十岁的事，眼看生日就要到了，突然觉得三十岁像是人生的中点。

But I realized as I was thinking about 30 and getting closer to my birthday that 30 feels kind of like a midpoint.

感觉30岁就像是人生的中间节点一样。

It feels like a midpoint to life.

哇。

Woah.

为什么这么说呢？

In what way?

我一开始认真琢磨这件事的时候，还心想，不对啊，这怎么可能。

When I really thought about it, at first, I'm like, wait, but that's wrong.

现在有现代医疗，我们基本能活到七八十岁呢。

We can live up to, like, 70, 80, especially nowadays with modern medicine.

没错。

Mhmm.

不过后来我发现，大多数人基本六十多岁就退休了。

But then I guess what I realized was most people try to retire around their sixties.

所以三十岁才会让人觉得，几乎是职业生涯的中点。

So maybe it feels like a midpoint in, like, career almost.

就是职场工作的这段时间里。

Working age.

对。

Yeah.

但这么说其实也不太准确，因为我们差不多要到20岁才开始工作。

But then that's also not completely true because we didn't start working till we're, like, 20.

没错。

Right.

我本来以为你会说另一种情况：就是你活的每一年，你感受到的一天或者一年，其实在你已有的人生里占的比例越来越小。

I thought you were gonna say it in the other way of every year that you live, the time that you experience one day or one year, for example, is a smaller and smaller fraction of what you have experienced already.

你懂吧？

You know?

所以每次新增的这段时间，也就是你感受到的每一年，给人的感觉就会过得越来越快。

So they're, like, each incremental time or, like, the perceived time that you experience with each year is smaller and smaller.

明白吧？

You know?

没错。

True.

对。

Yeah.

你30岁那一年，只占你生命中的三十分之一，而你两岁那一年，却占了你生命的一半。

A year when you're 30 is one thirtieth of your life versus a year when you're two is, like, half your life.

是的。

Yeah.

从这个角度看，时间并不是线性的。

So then in that sense, time isn't linear.

所以也许这确实是我们人生的中点。

So then maybe it is kind of our halfway point.

哇。

Woah.

有可能。

Maybe.

在我心里，虽然这可能不是个太好的看法。

In my mind and this is probably a bad way to look at it.

我觉得，六十岁的时候，我们真的开始慢下来了，身体机能也不行了，这算是通往那个阶段的中间点吧。

I'm like, dude, sixties, that's when we, like, we really slow down and our So function just not the this is kind of a halfway point to that.

哦，我懂了。

Oh, I see.

你是说，作为人，我们人生功能的巅峰，这算是走到一半了吗？

Halfway to, like, our peak status, I guess, as people, like our I human functional

我不知道。

don't know.

你有没有觉得，三十岁几乎像是个中点？

Do you ever feel like 30 seems almost like a midpoint?

对我来说，三十岁不算。

30 to me, no.

但四十岁确实像个人生的中点。

But 40 does seem like a midpoint.

哦，明白了。

Oh, okay.

我从没觉得人生有个所谓的中点，因为我觉得每过十年都会迎来新的挑战和新的体验。

I just don't have this concept of a midpoint when I think about life because I feel like with each decade comes new challenges and new experiences that you unlock.

就像一本章节书一样。

It's like a chapter book.

你懂的。

You know?

是啊。

Yeah.

每一章都有不一样的故事，而不是跑一英里，刚跑到一半。

Every chapter has a different story versus running a mile and you're, like, halfway through.

对。

Right.

这么看可能更合理一些。

That's probably a better way to look at things.

操。

Shit.

我不知道。

I don't know.

也许等我三十岁的时候，我会说：喂，三十了？

Maybe once I turn 30, I'll be like, dude, 30?

这他妈就是我们人生的中点了。

This is the midpoint of our fucking life.

是我们人生的黄昏期。

The twilight of our life.

我觉得，对女性来说，到了三十岁，生物钟的问题会变得特别真实。

I think maybe another thing is that the biological clock becomes really real when we're 30 as women.

没错。

Totally.

所以也许这就是为什么我觉得我们好像正处在某个转折点上。

So maybe that's another reason it makes me feel almost like we're at some sort of, like, midturning point.

不过现在医学发达了，情况好太多了。

Well, with modern medicine, it's, like, a lot better.

但我记得我们跟那个当护士的朋友聊过，她说，只要超过32岁，就被叫‘高龄产妇’。

But I remember we were talking with our nurse friend, and she was like, dude, anyone over 32 gets labeled as a geriatric bird.

我们一听，什么？？

And we're like, what the fuck?

现在很多人到快40岁才生孩子，可还是被这么叫。

Now, I guess, people have kids up until, like, even late thirties, but they still get labeled as geriatric birds.

是啊。

Yeah.

确实如此。

It is so true.

而且随之而来的是一堆医疗风险，有些事我真的不想听，尤其是作为女人。

And I think with it comes medical risks that increase or things like it's just like things that I don't wanna hear as a woman.

你懂的。

You know?

我心想，别跟我讲这些糟心事。

I'm like, don't tell me this shit.

你说我三十多岁，怎么就出现这些状况了？

Like, what do you mean I'm

30岁了，这些事怎么就找上门了？

30 and these things are happening?

是啊。

Yeah.

这真的太离谱了。

It's actually crazy.

对啊。

Yeah.

从生理年龄来看，这确实是个关键阶段。

With the biological age, it totally is a midpoint.

如果我们打算生孩子，能生的窗口期其实特别短，也就22到40岁之间吧。

The childbearing range is such a short window for us if someone is willing to have kids between, like, 22 to 40.

38岁，31岁差不多就是中间点

38, 31 is kind of that midpoint

年龄。

age.

没错。

True.

而且我觉得到了30岁，我会更在意风险。

And I think also being 30, I I think about risk more.

可能就是因为身边总在说年龄、生物钟、这些事儿，听得多了。

And, you know, I guess maybe it's just because, like, all these things are in our ear a lot about age and body clock wait, biological clock, all that stuff.

不过我最近也在想这个问题。

But I was kind of reflecting on this too.

我们二十多岁的时候，冻卵这类事就开始变得越来越普遍了。

In our twenties, freezing eggs and stuff was starting to become more accessible and common.

对。

Right.

那时候我就想，我对要不要孩子还拿不定主意。

So at the time, I was like, well, I'm very undecided on children.

为了保险起见，大不了先把卵子冻起来。

As a fail safe, I can always just freeze my eggs.

觉得这事儿再简单不过了，当然要这么做。

It felt like such a simple of course, I'd do that.

但现在我想，天啊，你了解过冻卵的全过程吗？

But now I'm like, dude, have you seen the process of freezing your eggs?

确实如此。

So true.

说真的，得亲自去做吗？

It's like, wait.

我真得去完成这一整套流程？

I actually have to do this?

是的。

Yeah.

这事儿要考虑的方面多得多。

It's there's much more consideration.

我想，好吧。

I'm like, okay.

那我到底想不想做呢？

Well, do I want to do that?

虽说风险没那么大，但过程确实挺不舒服，还麻烦。

Like, there's some I guess not as much risk, but, like, discomfort and, like, trouble that you have to go through.

没错。

Right.

但二十多岁的时候，我真觉得这事儿无所谓。

But, yeah, in my twenties, I was kind of like a, oh, yeah.

等以后再说吧。

I'll just do that when I'm older.

你懂的。

You know?

是的

Yeah.

确实如此

It's so true.

我也一直在想这个问题，因为我一直想要孩子，所以很早就决定了自己想在什么年纪生孩子

I was thinking about this kind of too because I mean, I've always wanted to have kids, so then I knew, like, at what age I wanted to have them.

在我二十多岁的时候，我最害怕的就是意外怀孕

And in my twenties, like, my greatest fear was getting pregnant on accident.

哦，对啊

Oh, yeah.

那简直是我最害怕的事

It was, like, the scariest thought to me.

现在我都快三十了，反而觉得最可怕的是以后生不了孩子

And now that I'm almost 30, I feel like the scariest thought to me is not being able to have children.

天哪

Oh my god.

我就在想，这转变到底发生在什么时候？

I'm like, When does it switch?

你知道吧？

You know?

到底到哪一年龄，这种感觉就翻过来了？

Like at what age does it switch over?

天哪。

Oh my god.

真的太对了。

So true.

我觉得随着年纪增长，我们慢慢就懂多了。

I think we just become more informed as we get older.

就是越来越有见识了。

Like, we just become more knowledgeable.

二十多岁的时候，我们其实根本不懂多少。

We truly didn't know much in our twenties.

你懂的。

You know?

这想法挺吓人的，因为我觉得现在自己还是啥都不懂。

Which is a scary thought because I feel like right now, I still don't know anything.

对。

Yeah.

但想到这其实就是成长，你知道吗？这反而更让人害怕。

But the fact that this is growth, you know, that's terrifying.

对。

Yeah.

我觉得随着年纪增长，你会越来越清楚自己懂的东西有多少。

I guess with age, it just becomes more and more apparent how little you know.

确实如此。

That is true.

但你现在三十多岁了，四十岁这个年纪，感觉还一样吗？

But do you feel like now that you're in your thirties, does the age 40 seem different now?

你觉得你看起来

Do you think you look

和二十多岁的时候不一样吗？

at it differently versus when you were in your twenties?

老兄，没觉得有什么不同。

Dude, not really.

还没呢。

Not yet.

感觉还是有点遥远。

It still feels a little far.

我觉得这挺荒唐的，因为我妈生我的时候大概三十三四岁。

And I think it's a little crazy because my mom had me when she was about, I think, 33 or 34.

所以四十岁就是我心目中我妈的那个年纪。

So 40 is basically the age that I know my mom at.

你懂我的意思吧？

Do you know what I mean?

哦，这样啊。

Like Oh.

她40岁的时候，我已经懂事了，能思考很多事情了。

When she was 40, I'm, like, more conscious and, like, able to have thoughts and stuff.

所以对我来说，40岁就是我认识妈妈时的年纪。

So that's, like, the age I met my mom.

那你会不会把40岁和为人父母联系在一起？

So then do you associate 40 with motherhood, parenthood, I guess?

我觉得是的，我确实把它和当父母联系在一起。

I think I I do associate it with being parents.

可能有一部分原因让我觉得有点害怕，因为我正在考虑如果我不当父母，生活会是什么样子，但我还不清楚。

And maybe part of it is a little scary because I'm weighing the idea of not being a parent, and I don't know what that looks like.

是的。

Yeah.

确实如此。

It's true.

我觉得，不到年纪大一点，你根本意识不到人生经历会多大程度上塑造你对世界的看法。

I feel like you don't realize how much life experience shapes your, like, attitude towards the world until you get older.

是的。

Yeah.

我试着想象，一个精力充沛、身体健朗的妈妈会是什么样子。

I was trying to imagine life as, like, an active and fit mom.

对。

Mhmm.

我妈妈身体也不差，但要说她特别爱运动，那倒谈不上。

Not that my mom wasn't fit, but I wouldn't consider her, like, an active person.

没错。

Yeah.

我只能靠自己去想象那种场景。

And I just had to, like, use my imagination.

你懂我的意思吧？

You know what I mean?

我得凭空想象出这么一个人来。

I had to, like, conjure up something from nothing.

然后我就想，等等。

And I was like, wait.

这其实是我脑子里编出来的故事，因为我小时候根本没怎么见过这样的妈妈。

This is, a fictional, like, narrative that I'm playing in my head because I just didn't see it as much growing up.

是的。

Yeah.

真的，我也是。

Dude, same.

我妈妈也没到处去跑马拉松。

My mom's also not she's not out there, like, running marathons

之类的。

and stuff.

所以

So

差别特别大。

it's very different.

我妈根本不会泡在健身房里。

Like, my mom's not hidden in gym.

对。

Yeah.

她周六早上才不会去做什么罗马尼亚硬拉。

She's not doing Romanian deadlifts on Saturday morning.

我认识的那些家长都是一直在拼命打拼的，对。

The parents that I know were, like, grinding it out and, like Mhmm.

就是那种全职在家的妈妈，要打理家务、做饭，还要处理各种琐事。

Stay at home mom taking care of the house and cooking and all that kind of stuff.

然后我就突然反应过来，等一下。

And I'm like, wait.

那我们年纪大了之后会是什么样子呢？

What are we gonna look like when we're older?

不过你说得对，因为我一想到四十岁，就会联想到我父母当年是怎么过的。

It's a really good point that you bring up, though, because I think I also associate being in your forties with the forties that I saw my parents live out.

没错。

Right.

有时候真有点吓到我，我心想，哦，原来如此。

Sometimes it does scare me a little bit because I'm like, oh, okay.

你这一生好像就只剩下当父母了。

Your entire life is like parenthood.

根本没时间搞自己的爱好。

You have no time for hobbies.

也没有什么社交生活。

You have no social life.

整天就是工作，回家陪孩子，就这么循环。

All you do is work and then go home and, like, hang out with your kids, and that's it.

我心里其实有点向往那样的生活，但现在的我总觉得那种日子离自己太远了。

Part of me is excited for that, but it's just a life that feels so irrelevant to me right now.

是啊。

Oh, yeah.

你懂的。

You know?

但当我想到我那些四十多岁的同事，周末去跑半马，和朋友出去吃午饭、聚会，生活丰富多彩，同时还能陪孩子。

But then when I think about my coworkers who are in their forties, running half marathons on the weekends, like going out for lunch with their friends, hanging out, having a vibrant social life while also being with their kids.

这样一来，我就没那么害怕了。

And it scares me so much less.

我开始觉得，我对四十岁的恐惧，可能其实是来自我父母的经历。

And I'm like, maybe this fear of forties stems from my parents.

也许吧。

Maybe.

Jeesoo，你孩子我来带，你去玩吧。

Jeesoo, I'll watch your future child so you can go have fun.

但你得和我一起玩才行。

But you have to be having fun with me.

天啊。

Oh, dude.

我们把孩子一起带去。

We'll bring the child.

不过要说帮忙的话，我有个朋友已经当爸妈了。

But if it helps, I have a friend who has a child.

我觉得孩子快两岁了吧。

I think they're like almost two now.

她和她老公去哪儿都带着孩子，但照样能过得很充实，社交生活一点没落下。

And her and her husband just bring the kid along to a lot of hangouts and they're still able to have a vibrant social life.

所以呢。

So, yeah.

这事儿是能做到的。

It's doable.

我只是需要多看看实际的例子，才能真正明白。

I just need to like see more examples, I think, to truly understand.

你只要抱抱孩子就知道了。

You just need to hold a baby.

我觉得很多朋友的想法和你一样。

Well, do think the pro is a lot of our friends are in line with you.

他们都说，想跟你差不多时候要孩子。

They're like, oh, I wanna have a kid around the same time as you.

大家可以约着一起带孩子玩。

You can all have play dates and stuff.

这倒是真的。

That's true.

对。

Yeah.

孩子咿咿呀呀的时候，咱们还能聊聊天。

You can gossip while the babies are babbling.

对。

Yeah.

可能我三十多岁的目标就是，重新定义三十、四十、五十岁这些人生阶段该是什么样子，活出不一样的状态。

Maybe my goal for my thirties is to, like, redefine and reinvent what thirties, forties, fifties, like, those decades look like.

你明白吗？

You know?

因为我觉得现在有太多不一样的人生道路可以选了。

Because I think there's a ton of different alternative routes out there.

对的。

Mhmm.

尤其我是移民家庭的孩子，不管是文化层面还是代际层面，和父母之间都有很大的隔阂。

And especially being a child of immigrant parents, there's a big gap there culturally and generationally.

对。

Yeah.

重新去定义亚裔美国妈妈这个身份到底意味着什么。

Reimagining what being an Asian American mom is.

太对了。

That's so true.

我们小时候见到的亚裔美国妈妈真的不多。

We don't see that many Asian American moms.

没错。

Right.

就是这样。

Exactly.

现在稍微多了一点。

A little more nowadays.

但我们小时候，可能就见过一两个。

But, like, when we were growing up, I saw, like, maybe one or two.

是的。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

没错。

Exactly.

好吧。

Okay.

但你马上就要三十了，你现在是有点害怕，还是其实挺期待的？

But then since thirties is getting closer for you, Are you fearful right now, or are you kinda looking forward to it?

我觉得我两种感觉都有。

I think I actually feel both emotions.

我很高兴能再次进入一个新的十年，成为年轻的一代。

I am excited to be the younger side of a new decade again.

我觉得这还挺有意思的。

I think that's kinda fun.

我觉得三十岁左右会有很多人生里程碑等着我，这些我可是盼了好久了。

There's, like, a lot of milestones waiting for me in my thirties, I think, that I've been looking forward to my whole life.

所以从这点来说，我很期待。

So in that sense, I am excited for it.

但同时，我也特别享受我的二十多岁。

But at the same time, I really enjoyed my twenties.

我觉得，哪怕那些难熬的时刻也特别珍贵，充满了回忆，而开心的时光更是让人难忘。

I think even the parts that felt tough were still very valuable and like sentimental moments and the parts that were fun were like unbelievably fun.

感觉就像告别了一段生活，把它小心翼翼地收进记忆盒子，封存起来。

It feels like I'm leaving behind a life and, like, storing it into a memory box and putting it away.

你懂的。

You know?

天哪。

Woah.

我的天。

Oh my god.

再见了，二十岁。

Goodbye, twenties.

是啊。

Yeah.

你打算把二十岁的哪些东西留下来？

What are you gonna leave behind from your twenties?

我觉得我已经开始慢慢放下以前爱派对的阶段了。

I think I'm already kind of starting to leave behind my partying phase a little bit.

我不再像以前那样总想和人混在一起，把日程排得满满当当的了。

I'm leaving behind my urge to always hang out with people and, like, fill my entire calendar with social plans.

我也说不准。

I don't know.

大概是要告别一张没有皱纹的脸了吧。

Leaving behind a wrinkleless face, I guess.

哎呀，不好了。

Oh, no.

我敢打赌，三十岁后我肯定得开始打肉毒杆菌了。

I'm sure in my thirties, I'll I will begin getting Botox.

所以，我要把这张还没打过肉毒杆菌的脸，放进记忆盒里了。

So leaving behind my Botox free face in this memory box.

你脸上有笑纹吗？

Do you have smile wrinkles?

我有。

I do.

我也是。

Same.

我现在真的能感受到了。

I am starting to, like, really feel this.

我觉得我得去美容诊所看看了。

And I'm like, I need to go and go to a med spa and get this checked out.

天哪。

Oh my god.

我也老凑近镜子看自己的额头。

I also, like, lean into the mirror a lot and look at my forehead.

我额头上有细纹了。

I have, like, micro wrinkles.

真的吗？

Really?