过去的婚礼与现在的婚礼

天哪。

Oh my god.

然后又转回了我认识的那些人。

And then it circled back to, like, all the people that I knew.

我看了下名牌，心想天啊。

And I looked at the name tag and I was like, oh god.

幸运的是，桌上有我认识的人，说要跟我们换一下。

And luckily, one of the people that I knew at the table was like, I'll just swap this.

于是他就过来坐到我旁边。

So then he came and sat next to me.

那挺好。

Oh, that's nice.

他旁边坐的就是那些陌生人。

And then next to him were the unks.

是的。

Yeah.

我当时真想说，谢天谢地。

So I was like, thank god.

真是救了我一命。

Like, god bless you.

但刚看到的时候，我觉得完了。

But when I first saw it, I was like, it's over.

是啊。

Yeah.

我们刚还在说，跟大人聊天实在不擅长。

We just talked about how we're bad at talking with adults.

对。

Yeah.

我觉得在婚礼上跟大人聊天我还是不太行，除非是亲戚。

I think I'm still kind of bad at talking to adults at weddings, unless it's like family.

如果是亲戚，那就轻松一点。

If it's family, then it's a little easier.

如果是那种不太熟的外国成年人，比如，我该跟人家说什么呢？

If it's just like foreign adults, like, what do I say to

他们？

them?

外国成年人。

Foreign adults.

对。

Yeah.

挺尴尬的。

It's awkward.

然后我觉得特别是在宴席上，会有点意思，因为有转盘。对，是的。

And then I think especially at a banquet, it can be kind of interesting because there's the lazy Susan Oh, yeah.

就是那种感觉。

Of it all.

我觉得挺有意思的，因为坐在我旁边的那个人，怎么说呢，他虽然没直接说那个词，但意思差不多就是，哦，不认识的人。

I thought it was cool because the guy who came and sat next to me mean, I he wasn't saying the word unk, but he was basically like, oh, unks.

你们真该尝尝这个。

Like, you guys should eat this.

哎，先给自己夹菜吧。

Like, unks, serve yourself first.

而且对他们特别热情。

And being super friendly with them.

后来我还问他了。

And later, I even asked him.

我就问，你认识这些人吗？

I was like, do you know these people?

他说不认识。

And he was like, no.

不认识。

No.

就随他们去吧。

Just let them.

等等。

Wait.

你管他们叫‘unks’，我都笑死了。

I'm dying at you just calling them unks?

我挺想参加一次宴会式的婚礼。

I'm curious to attend a banquet style wedding.

到目前为止我还没体验过。

I have yet to experience that so far.

说真的，是的。

Actually, yeah.

到目前为止，我总是被安排和我们这个年纪的人坐一起。

So far, I've always been seated with younger people like our age.

只有当我跟家人在一起的时候，我才坐过跟长辈一桌。

The only time I've been seated with older people is if, like, I'm part of family or something like that.

对。

Mhmm.

是的。

Yeah.

我总觉得偶尔会有那种莫名其妙的桌子，把不同背景、年龄差距很大的人随便凑在一起。

I feel like occasionally those weird tables with mismatched ages randomly pulled from different walks of life.

你懂的。

You know?

是的。

Yeah.

我心里还老想，我该不会被安排在剩菜桌吧？

In my head, I'm like, oh, am I at the leftovers table?

老兄，真有部电影叫《19号桌》，讲的就是这事儿。

Dude, actually, there's a movie called table 19, and it's about this.

挺有意思的。

It's like Interesting.

一群乱七八糟、没人知道该安排在哪的人，全给塞到19号桌了。

Random mismatched, didn't know where to put them, all seated at Table 19.

是的。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

我不记得那部电影好不好看了，但听说是部喜剧，主演是安娜·肯德里克。

I don't remember if it was that good or not, but it is supposed to be a comedy, and it's Anna Kendrick.

所以你可以看看这部电影。

So maybe you can watch that movie.

如果你哪天碰巧被安排和陌生人坐一桌，不妨参考一下。

If you ever know, you might be sat with random people.

我会留意他们是怎么应对的。

I'll take notes on their strategies.

明白。

Yeah.

不过说真的，如果一桌全都是陌生人，反而可能更自在些。

Although, think to an extent, it's actually better if it's, like, a full group of randoms

是的

Mhmm.

对

Mhmm.

但如果你只有两个人，旁边却坐了一整群熟人，那就不太一样了。

Versus if you're just two randoms and then you're seated with, like, a whole friend group.

那种情况可能会让人觉得有点尴尬。

It might feel a little bit more awkward.

确实如此。

That is so true.

因为如果大家都不太认识，总会有一个人忍不住站出来，主动带动大家互相认识。

Because if everyone doesn't quite know each other, then someone's gonna crack and start, you know, rallying the group to Yeah.

比如互相介绍一下什么的。

To introduce each other and all of that.

完全没错。

Totally.

你有没有遇到过那种，跟人有点熟，又不怎么熟的情况？

How about have you ever been sat with people who you, like, kind of know, kind of don't?

有。

Yes.

我遇到过。

I have.

但我觉得其实最后都挺自然的。

And I think it actually always ends up being fine.

一开始随便聊几句，聊聊菜、聊聊新人，然后挑两三个话题，专心往下聊就行了。

We just make some small talk in the beginning, talk about the food, talk about the couple, and then we'll pick, like, two or three conversation topics and just, like, zero in on that.

你懂的。

You know?

是的。

Yeah.

所以一般都还行。

So usually, it goes okay.

但确实有个过渡期，我觉得在婚礼上吃饭时，大家坐在一起，不得不聊些闲话。

But there is, like, that transition period because I feel like when you're eating a meal at a wedding and you're all seated together, you're forced to chitchat.

对吧？

Right?

等饭一吃完，舞池就开放了，大家都去吧台或者跟别人随意走动。

And then as soon as the meal service is over, it's, like, open dance floor time, like, everyone goes to the bar or, like, mingle with other people.

我觉得这个过渡挺尴尬的。

And I find that transition kind of awkward.

因为每次一听到跳舞的邀请，我就想：我马上站起来会不会显得不礼貌？

Because I'm always like, is it rude if I get up immediately when they call for like dancing?

还是该主动说，咱们一起过去吧？

Or like, should I offer like, oh, we should walk here together.

我也在想，对方会不会跟着我走？

Or I also think, like, is this person gonna follow me?

还是我该主动跟上去？

Or, like, should I follow this person?

所以我觉得那时候大家都会有点犹豫。

So then I feel like there's a little bit of hesitation.

但真正坐下来吃饭的时候，从来都没问题。

But the actual, like, sitting and eating is always completely fine.

等等。

Wait.

我完全明白你的意思。

I completely get what you mean.

现在想想，我通常是直接溜走。

And now that I'm thinking about it, I think I just run away.

我的一个办法就是装出特别忙的样子。

One of my strategies is to just look really busy.

好像我有正事要办似的。

Like, I have a mission.

你懂的。

You know?

我得去个地方。

I have somewhere to go.

是的。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

这样就没人能说什么了。

So no one can say anything.

哎呀，糟了。

Like, oh, shit.

她肯定得赶着去别处。

She must need to go somewhere right now.

不是。

No.

确实如此。

That's true.

你可以自信地走向洗手间、酒吧、舞池，再回到你的座位。

You can walk confidently to the bathroom, to the bar, to the dance area, back to your chair.

你可以选择很多条不同的路线。

There's many different routes you can take.

对。

Mhmm.

但我确实会犹豫。

But I do hesitate for sure.

大概会有五分钟的纠结吧。

There's like that maybe five minute of wavering.

你俩都在试着摸清对方的意图。

Where you're both trying to, like, suss out each other's intentions.

是的。

Yeah.

不过抛开座位安排不说，我觉得婚礼的整体流程大都差不多。

But table seating aside, I feel like generally weddings tend to have similar formats.

通常婚礼都会有仪式、婚宴、一些致辞，有时候还会有个第一支舞。

So there's usually the ceremony, the reception, some sort of speech, and sometimes there will be, like, a first dance.

这些环节都是按顺序来的。

It follows that succession.

对。

Mhmm.

既然知道婚礼一般都会经历这些环节，你会做些什么来表现得礼貌一些吗？

So knowing that all of these things usually happen at a wedding, are there things that you do to try to be polite?

你说的礼貌，具体指什么？

Polite, like how?

我举个例子吧。

I'll give an example.

我参加过几次婚礼致辞，那真是特别紧张的经历。

I have given a couple of speeches at weddings, and it was a very nerve wracking experience.

对。

Mhmm.

写演讲稿总是比上台讲有趣多了，因为一上台就是公开演讲，特别紧张。

And I will say writing the speech is always significantly more fun than giving it because when you're giving it, it's like public speaking.

Crystal，你也主持过我的婚礼。

And, Crystal, you have also officiated my wedding.

对。

Mhmm.

所以你也体会过站在所有人面前的感觉。

So you have the experience of being up there in front of everyone as well.

是的。

Yeah.

但我知道，如果你本身是自信的演讲者，那感觉会特别棒。

But I know that depending on how confident of a public speaker you are, it can be a really, really thrilling experience.

通常有人演讲时，我会笑得特别大声，或者时不时喊一句‘对’‘太棒了’，让台上的人知道大家真的在听。

So usually when someone is giving a speech, I'll be very loud in terms of my laughter or I'll be like, oh, or, like, I'll, like, say things loudly so that that person who's giving the speech knows that people are, like, actually listening.

我明白了。

I see.

我喜欢这样。

I like that.

我会试着记住一些我喜欢的细节，之后好告诉他们。

I think I tried to remember specific things that I liked so that I can tell them after.

这主意不错。

Oh, that's a good one.

其实作为观众，我比上台演讲还要害羞，不太敢大声表达。

I'm actually probably more shy about being loud as an audience member than actually public speaking.

不过该鼓掌的时候我肯定鼓掌，也会笑出声。

But I'll definitely, you know, clap when necessary and and, like, make some laughing noises.

但我不会

But I'm not

就是说一句‘这讲得太棒了’。

gonna be like, you know, like, I'll just be like, That was great.

我反而会留意观众里那些特别爱笑的人。

I think I'll actually try to be like, And I'll also notice in the crowd other loud laughers.

因为我故意笑得很大声，是为了让演讲者更开心。

Because I know I'm intentionally laughing loud for the enhancement of the speech giver's enjoyment.

对。

Yeah.

所以我能大概感觉到，别人是不是也在这么做。

So then I feel like I can kind of suss out when other people are also doing it.

每两张桌子旁边，总会有一个笑得特别响的人。

Every, like, two tables will have one loud laugher.

说实话，我们确实需要这样的人。

Honestly, we do need those people.

是啊。

So Yeah.

感谢所有笑得大声的人。

Thank you to everyone who's a loud laugher.

谢谢你们的付出。

Thank you for your service.

是的。

Yeah.

不过，我确实会努力记住一些具体的事情告诉他们。

But, yeah, I think I definitely try to remember specific things to tell them.

如果他们特别紧张，跟我聊这个，我就会提醒他们：大家在这里不是来评判你的。

And then sometimes if they're, like, really nervous, maybe they're talking to me about it, then I'll just remind them, like, everyone's here not to judge you.

大家来这里是为了好好享受，听你讲精彩的故事。

Everyone's here to have a great time and hear about your wonderful story.

对。

Mhmm.

希望这样能让你感觉好一点。

So hopefully that makes you feel a little better.

没什么好紧张的。

There's nothing to be nervous about.

这里所有人都在支持你。

Everyone here is supporting you.

是的。

Yeah.

而且我也是出于同样的原因来的。

And here for the same reason.

对。

Mhmm.

其实我现在得问你一个问题。

Actually, I need to ask you now.

你觉得这样有帮助吗？

Do you think that helps, though?

听到这些建议之后？

Hearing that advice?

是的。

Yeah.

还是说你心里还是觉得特别紧张？

Or do you think you're like, oh, I'm still hella nervous?

我觉得这真的因人而异，因为我参加过一些婚礼，伴娘和伴郎上台时一点都看不出紧张。

I think it really does depend on the person because I've been to weddings where maid of honor and the best man, they don't look nervous at all.

他们特别淡定。

They're so calm.

我甚至都忘了他们还得发言，直到他们站起来的那一刻才想起来。

I actually forget that they have to give a speech until the second that they go up.

但像我这样一上台面对很多人就会特别紧张的人，我觉得这种做法确实有帮助。

But as someone who does get really nervous going up and speaking in front of a lot of people, I think it kind of helps.

这是个实话。

That's a honest answer.

它能帮你缓解心理压力。

It helps mentally.

是的。

Yeah.

但我自己的身体反应，真的没法克服。

But I think my physical reaction is just insurmountable.

我怎么都平复不了狂跳的心。

I can't calm my beating heart.

是的。

Yeah.

这很合理。

That's very reasonable.

我的老天，你宣誓的时候简直太棒了。

I mean, dude, when you were saying your vows, you killed it.

老兄，演讲那回事儿可完全不一样。

Dude, the speeches, that was a different beast.

我不太明白为什么。

I don't know why.

其实我倒是有点头绪。

I think I know why, actually.

宣誓的时候，你只要看着你伴侣就行。

For vows, you only have to look at your partner.

你根本不用看观众，更容易专注于那一刻。

You don't really have to look at the crowd, and you it's easier to maybe, like, be in that moment.

但演讲的时候，你明显是在对所有人说话。

But then for the speech, you're definitely, like, talking out to everyone.

而且婚礼誓言要是说得不好，其实也没人在意，毕竟那本来就是你们俩之间的事。

Also for the vows, if the vows are bad, no one actually cares because it's just supposed to be between you and the groom anyway.

对。

Mhmm.

但要是演讲搞砸了，那就对不起新郎新娘了。

But if you have a bad speech, it's like a disservice to the bride and the groom.

你懂我的意思吧？

You know what I mean?

这正是我感受到的压力。

Like, that's like the pressure that I felt.

真够呛。

Damn.

我明白了。

I see.

而且说实话，大家总想比伴郎的致辞更出色。

And low key, there's always a pressure to give a better speech than the best man.

这纯粹是你好胜心作祟。

That's just you being competitive.

老兄，你可能觉得是这样，但其实这很常见。

Dude, you would think that, but it's actually very common.

我觉得很多人都有这种想法。

I think a lot of people think that.

我觉得我自己也会有这种感觉。

I think I would feel that too

如果换作是我，我肯定也会这样，因为我就是个好胜的人。

if that were the case for me because I know I'm competitive.

我们只是坦诚地说出实话罢了。

We're just being honest about it.

我觉得大家都这么想。

I think everyone thinks it.

确实如此。

True.

我们只是有勇气把这话说出来。

We're just brave enough to speak about it.

这就像女生和男生之间的较量。

It's a moment of girls versus guys

对啊。

Mhmm.

至少我们参加过的婚礼都是这样。

For all the weddings that we've been to at least.

没错。

It is.

完全就是这样。

It totally is.

我其实觉得，虽然不想把这变成性别问题，但女生和男生之间的这种较劲，贯穿了整个婚礼筹备过程，至少对我是这样。

And I actually feel, not to make this a gender thing, but the girl versus guy competition is something that permeates through the entire wedding process, at least for me.

我总觉得，大家心里都会隐隐有个疑问：单身派对是不是比新娘派对更热闹？

I think there's, like, a little bit of a question of, oh, is the bachelorette party more fun than the bachelor party?

这倒不是什么特别宏大的主题。

And it's not like a huge overarching theme.

更像是一个若隐若现的小阴影，悄悄跟着每一个环节。

It's more like a tiny cloud in the background that follows each event.

你懂我的意思吧？

You know?

它影响的不只是单身派对，连致辞环节也逃不掉。

Not only does it impact the bachelorette bachelor party, but it also impacts the speeches.

而这一切的高潮，最终都体现在舞池里。

And the final culmination of it all is on the dance floor.

天哪。

Oh my god.

这也太紧张了。

This is really intense.

啊，不好意思。

Oh, sorry.

等一下。

Wait.

但如果你的单身派对已经玩得尽兴了呢？

But what if it's like you just had the most fun you could have had at your bachelorette?

我觉得大多数人参加单身派对时都会玩得很开心。

I think most people do just have, like, a, like, a lot of fun at the bachelorette.

没错。

Uh-huh.

我个人觉得，大多数单身派对都比单身汉派对更有趣。

And I honestly personally think that most bachelorettes are more fun than bachelor parties.

这简直就是送分题。

So that's like a easy layup.

但我觉得在舞池里，情况确实不一样。

But I feel like on the dance floor okay.

你现在这反应，说不定我才是那个疯的，不过我已经开始说了，停不下来了。

Now that your reaction is like this, maybe I'm the crazy one, but I'm already on my soapbox.

我干脆继续说下去吧。

I'm just gonna keep going.

在舞池上，我总能注意到，伴娘们是不是比伴郎们更嗨。

On the dance on the dance floor, I always notice if the bridesmaids are more hype or the groomsmen are

更嗨。

more hype.

天哪。

My god.

我知道。

I know.

太夸张了。

It's so bad.

好吧。

Okay.

我不是那种喜欢上舞池的人。

I'm not like a dance floor person.

对。

Mhmm.

所以我对这个没什么立场。

So I have no stake in this.

但我现在想起来，确实挺有道理的，我记得你和一些其他女孩总说，你得赶紧上舞池，现在就去。

But I do remember this makes so much sense now because I do remember you and some of the other girls, they're like, you have to get on the dance floor, like, now.

我就说，不去。

And I'm like, no.

我现在坐在椅子上，玩得可开心了。

I'm actually having so much fun sitting in my chair right now.

是的。

Yeah.

他们说，不行。

They're like, no.

你得赶紧上来跳。

Like, you need to get up here.

我就说，好吧。

And I'm like, okay.

我上去跳个十分钟，然后我就想，行了。

I'll go up for, like, ten minutes, and then I'll be like, okay.

我觉得我又能悄悄溜走了。

I think I can sneak away again.

老兄，我真觉得这简直像婚礼上的义务。

Dude, I actually feel like it's a wedding party obligation almost.

对。

Mhmm.

我见过各种情况，但有一次婚礼，新郎就在舞池里跳舞。

And I've seen it manifest in different ways, but there's one wedding that I was at where the groom was up dancing on the dance floor.

他的朋友们都在那儿，新娘那边就只有一个朋友陪着。

His friends were there, And then the bride was up there with maybe, like, one friend.

然后她看向我们，直接喊我们上去。

And then she looked at us, and she was like, get up here.

她还朝我们招手，让我们过去。

Like, she, like, waved us over.

她就说：快上来。

She's like, get up here.

天哪。

Oh my god.

我记得我们俩赶紧跑上去，就开始跳舞了。

I remember we, like, ran up, and then we started dancing.

然后我们面对面跳着，还聊起她怎么突然点名让我们上去。

And then we were, like, facing each other and we were talking about how she, like, called us out.

她当时

She was

啊，不好意思。

like, sorry.

我们跳舞的时候，她说：‘对不起。’

Like, while we were dancing, she's like, sorry.

我得叫你们上来，因为一个朋友都没在。

I had to call you guys up because none of my friends were here.

我们就说：哦，好吧。

And we're like, oh, okay.

我们得跳多久啊？

Like, how long do we have to dance?

是的。

Yeah.

我其实记得这事。

I do remember that, actually.

我们在说同一天晚上的事。

We're talking about the same night.

是的

Yes.

对

Yes.

很明显，这件事给我们留下了深刻印象

Clearly, it made an impression

在我们心里

in our mind.

是的

Yes.

好的

Okay.

说真的，那场婚礼规模其实小一些

To be fair, actually, that wedding was a little smaller.

对

Mhmm.

所以我现在更能理解这一点了。

So I can understand that more for sure.

但通常我会想，没必要担心这个，因为舞池里总有人很乐意跳舞，根本不用我上场。

But usually, I'm like, I don't need to worry about this because there's there's usually other people who are more than happy to be on the dance floor so that I don't have to be there.

没错。

Right.

没错。

Right.

但从那以后，我参加每场婚礼都会特意看看男女比例是否平衡。

But after that moment, every wedding I go to, I always do, like, a gender balance check.

我会想，这里有多少位女性？

I'm like, how many women are here?

又有多少位男性？

How many men are here?

当然，这只是在我作为婚礼团队成员的时候才会这样。

I mean, this is only if I'm in the wedding party.

但如果我觉得女生太少，我就会拉人上舞池。

But if I feel like the girls are not as populous, I'll start to drag people on the dance floor.

但如果男生很多，都是新娘的朋友怎么办？

But what if there's a lot of guys, but they're the bride's friends?

哦，这个确实不太好分辨，我想。

Oh, well, it's hard to tell, I guess.

我也不可能认识每一个人，所以归根结底，我也说不准。

I wouldn't know every single friend, so I guess at the end of the day, I wouldn't know.

但这只是我脑子里的一个习惯性检查。

But it's just like a mental check that I do.

这其实挺有意思的。

That's actually really funny.

不过有个例外，如果舞池本来就人很多、气氛很热，不管男女比例怎么样，我觉得都没关系。

The caveat though is if the dance floor is, like, pretty full and pretty hype anyways, like, regardless of the gender balance, then I feel like it's fine.

对。

Yeah.

只有当舞池有点冷清的时候，我才会觉得得拉点人上去。

It's only if it's, like, slightly dying Oh, it's I'm like, okay.

大家得一起动起来，凑个热闹。

Everyone needs to come and, like, join forces.

对。

Yeah.

要是你根本不想搞舞池呢？

What if you just don't want a dance floor?

我觉得每对新人都有自己的婚礼期待。

I think every bride and groom has, like, a different set of expectations for their wedding.

我参加过一些婚礼，新人明确说不想怎么跳舞，或者只跳很短一会儿。

I've been to weddings where the bride and groom explicitly didn't want to dance much or, like, wanted to dance for a very short amount of time.

我的婚礼也差不多是这样。

I think my wedding was similar.

我也参加过那种一整晚都在跳舞的婚礼。

I've been to weddings where they wanted to dance the entire time.

所以我觉得关键是要弄清楚大家的期待是什么。

So then I think it's about knowing what the expectations are.

我还在琢磨男女之间那种氛围上的差异。

I'm still reflecting on the girls versus guys, like, build up.

但我认为这反而增添了一种特别的趣味，因为你更有理由全力以赴。

But I do think that adds almost like an extra element of fun because you have even more reason to be super hype.

来吧，兄弟们，加油！

You're like, come on, guys.

把你们的激情展现出来。

Show your energy.

对啊。

Yeah.

为你的女孩加油打气，

Like, rally up for your girl,

你说是吧？

you know?

这就像一场假比赛。

It's like a fake competition.

对啊。

Yeah.

还有个挺有意思的现象，我觉得婚礼团队里有时会有点小摩擦。

The other funny thing too is I feel like sometimes there's mild beef between the wedding party.

不是那种全体伴娘都讨厌全体伴郎，而是有时候某个伴娘和某个伴郎关系不太好。

Not in the sense where all the bridesmaids hate all the groomsmen, but sometimes one of the bridesmaids will have a bad relationship with one of the groomsmen.

可能是以前有过矛盾，或者现在觉得对方烦人、讨厌什么的。

You know, they might have past beef or they might currently find each other annoying or obnoxious or something.

我觉得这些互动特别有意思。

I feel like those interactions are also hilarious.

天哪。

Oh my god.

你这么一说，我想起来了，我们朋友圈里的婚礼，这种事发生的频率好像比正常情况高多了。

Now that you mentioned that, for some reason, in our friend group's weddings, that kind of happens more than it probably should.

是的。

Yes.

对。

Yes.

因为我们认识太久了吧。

It's because we've been friends for so long.

以前有点过节也很正常。

It's inevitable that previous beef has existed.

确实有不少过往。

Lot of history there.

但是

But

其实我也同意。

actually, yeah, I agree.

这些互动特别好笑，因为看得出来两边都在努力克制，毕竟这是婚礼。

Those interactions are really funny because you can tell both sides are like, we must behave for the wedding.

每个人都摆出了成熟的样子。

Everyone has their mature face on.

是的。

Yeah.

我突然有个问题。

I have a random question, actually.

你最近一个人参加过婚礼吗？

Have you attended a wedding alone recently?

没有。

No.

我从来就没一个人参加过婚礼。

I've literally never been to a wedding by myself.

天哪。

Oh my god.

我其实也在想这个，才发现我也没去过。

I was thinking about this too, and I realized I haven't either.

哇哦。

Woah.

如果你得一个人去参加婚礼，你觉得你的应对方式会不一样吗？

If you had to attend a wedding alone, do you think your game plan and stuff would be different?

是的。

Yeah.

我觉得会不一样。

I think it would be different.

好吧。

Well, okay.

我得彻底放弃我平时的做法——也就是和熟人待在一起。

I would have to completely scrap my normal game plan, which is hang out with the people that I know

对。

Mhmm.

然后让自己变成社交达人。

And bring out my inner social butterfly.

等等。

Wait.

但你可能在婚礼上还是认识一些人。

But you might still know people at the wedding.

只是你的伴侣或者家人没跟你一起来而已。

It's just that your partner or, like, your family isn't with you.

你是独自参加。

You're attending solo.

哦，我明白了。

Oh, I see.

我觉得如果婚礼上至少认识几个人，我就会黏着他们。

I feel like if I know at least a couple people at the wedding, I would just latch onto them.

你会不会觉得自己像个电灯泡？

Would you feel like a third wheel?

三个人里多出来的那个。

Third to

从第五场到第七场，我肯定去，但说实话，我可能会早点走。

fifth to seventh to I definitely would, and I would probably leave early if I'm being honest.

不过我觉得这样也没问题。

But I feel like that's also fine.

而且在某种程度上，这也挺正常的。

And I think to an extent, somewhat expected.

好的。

Okay.

我来给你设个场景。

I'm gonna set a scenario for you.

嗯。

Okay.

你告诉我，你会参加哪些活动，待多久，诸如此类的事情。

And tell me, like, what events you'll attend, how long you'll stay, like, all that kind of stuff.

你其实是伴郎/伴娘团的一员。

So you're actually in the wedding party.

天哪。

Oh god.

詹姆斯去不了，他得参加另一场婚礼。

And, James can't make it because he has another wedding he has to go to.

明白了。

Okay.

婚礼时间挺长的。

The wedding is long.

大概从五点一直持续到十一点半。

It's gonna be from, like, five to 11:30.

好的。

Okay.

婚礼结束后还有派对，会开到凌晨两点。

And then there's afters until 2AM.

我的天。

Oh, my.

至于婚礼团队，你可以早点去跟女生们一起准备，也可以晚点到，避开一大清早的那些事。

And for the wedding party, you can go early to get ready with the girls, or you can get there a little later and skip the super early morning stuff.

那你打算怎么办？

So what are you gonna do?

其实这样倒更方便了，因为我觉得进了婚礼团队，至少得陪大家待上半个晚上，这是默认的。

Oh, actually, this makes it easier because I think when you're in a wedding party, you're kind of expected to hang out with each other at least for half of the night.

我干脆早点去吧，反正詹姆斯也不在家。

I would just go early because James isn't home anyway.

对。

Mhmm.

所以我打算早点去，跟女生们一起准备，然后一整晚都跟她们待在一起。

So then I would go early, get ready with the girls, and hang out with the girls for the rest of the night.

哦，这样啊。

Oh, okay.

等等。

Wait.

也许我把这事想得太简单了。

Maybe I made this too easy.

其实你并不在婚礼团队里。

Actually, you're not part of the wedding party.

哦，天哪。

Oh, fuck.

但你和新郎新娘关系特别铁。

But you're really close friends with the bride and groom.

你去参加婚后的派对吗？

Are you gonna make it to afters?

对。

Yeah.

我这个人吧，一般都会去婚后的派对露个脸。

I think I'm just the type of person to show face at the afters.

是的。

Yeah.

那我去参加婚后的派对，你说那边两点结束。

So then I would go to afters, and you said it ends at two.

对吧？

Right?

是的。

Yeah.

我打算十二点四十五走。

I would leave at 12:45.

天哪。

Oh my god.

我还以为你说的是十二点半呢。

I thought you were gonna say 12:30.

因为十二点半有点太早了。

Because 12:30 is a little early.

这意味着婚礼十一点半就结束了，我只待了一个小时，这还没算上路上的时间。

That means the wedding ended at 11:30, and then I only went for, an hour, and that's not including transit time.

所以我实际上就待了半小时。

So I was basically there for, thirty minutes.

这也太短了吧。

That's too short.

但你真是12点45走的？

12:45, though?

挺悠闲的。

Chilling.

那基本上就是一点了。

That's basically one.

大家都习惯这么算的。

Everyone rounds up.

你懂的。

You know?

明白了。

Okay.

如果你跟那对新人没那么熟呢？

What if you're not as close to the couple?

那你会直接拒绝参加婚礼吗？

Would you just say no to attending the wedding?

你知道我可能会怎么做吗？

You know what I would probably actually do?

什么？

What?

我觉得我会去找一个也是一个人参加婚礼的人。

I think I would try to seek out another person who's at the wedding by themselves.

和我情况差不多。

Similar situation as me.

跟新人有点关系，但谁也不认识，或者自己一个人来的那种。

Close to them but doesn't know anyone or, like, came by myself or whatever.

然后看看对方是不是也打算去，咱俩可以凑一块儿。

And then see if that person is going and that we could, like, duo it.

你懂的。

You know?

咱们一起到，一起走。

We'll, like, show up together, leave together.

是的。

Yeah.

那样我就不会觉得

And then I wouldn't feel like

我得自己做这么多决定。

I have to do all this decision making by myself.

明白了。

Okay.

这些办法挺不错的。

These are some pretty good tactics.

你会怎么做？

What would you do?

你会待到多早或多晚？

How early or how late would you stay?

是的。

Yeah.

这真难办。

This is tough.

我觉得和你差不多。

I think similar to you.

如果我和那对新人比较熟，我可能会尽量多待一会儿。

If I'm close to the couple, I'll probably stay as long as I can.

对。

Mhmm.

但如果关系没那么近，可能我就早点走了。

But if I'm not as close, maybe I'll just end up leaving early.

这说得通。

That makes sense.

是的。

Yeah.

因为如果你一个人去，大概还得自己开车回家。

Because also if you're going alone, you probably have to drive home.

对。

Mhmm.

所以我可能会放松点，早点回去休息。

So I'd probably just, like, take it easy and maybe retire early.

早点休息。

Retire early.

说实话，听起来也不赖。

Doesn't sound that bad, honestly.

待到打个招呼、聊几句，沾点婚礼的喜气，然后在合理的时间前回到家睡觉。

Stay long enough to say hi and, like, chat and get some post wedding gloss and then be in your own bed at a reasonable time.

这样听起来真不错。

Like, that sounds wonderful.

是的。

Yeah.

我就是去参加仪式而已，说实话。

I'm just there for the ceremony, honestly.

我只是想看看别人沉浸在爱情里的样子。

I'm just trying to watch people in love.

这简直就像一部现实版的爱情喜剧。

This is like a real life rom com.

你懂的。

You know?

对了，你有没有特别喜欢婚礼的哪个环节？

Speaking of, though, do you have, like, a favorite part of the wedding?

就像我之前说的，我特别喜欢仪式部分。

So like I said earlier, I really like the ceremony.

当新人宣誓的时候，天哪。

When the couple does the vows oh my god.

我最喜欢的部分之一。

One of my favorite parts.

哦，对。

Oh, yeah.

仪式确实很棒。

The ceremony is good.

但对我来说，最打动我的不是宣誓，而是新娘走上红毯的那一刻。

But to me, it's not the vows that get me when the bride walks down the aisle.

每次我都忍不住哭。

Like, I cry every time.

那就是最完美的瞬间。

It's, like, the perfect moment.

没错。

Yes.

我见过好多场婚礼，当你转身去看新娘时，我就看到你和我们其他朋友全都泪流满面。

There's been many weddings where you've turned around to look at the bride, and I just see you and our other friends just tears streaming down all your faces.

我心想，天哪。

And I'm like, oh my god.

你还会问：你还好吗？

You're like, are you good?

我就想：大家都还好吗？

I'm like, is everyone okay?

我特别喜欢父母的致辞。

I think I really like the parent speeches.

还有，他们跳父女舞的时候，我也特别喜欢。

And then I also really like when they do, like, a father daughter dance.

每次看到这个，我都忍不住感动得不行。

That also always gets me Wow.

直击内心。

Straight to my heart.

对。

Yes.

我真的很喜欢这些演讲。

I do love the speeches.

总的来说，我也很喜欢演讲。

Overall, I love speeches too.

对。

Mhmm.

我确实挺喜欢第一个小时的。

I do kind of like the first hour.

鸡尾酒时间吗？

Cocktail hours?

就像是热身环节。

It's like the warm up hour.

大家会互相寒暄，琢磨怎么找座位，通常还会端上些饮料，好让人放松一下。

Like, we're mingling a little bit and we're strategizing to get our seats and usually we're welcomed with some drinks to, like, calm our nerves, I guess.

我不明白自己干嘛紧张，不过

I don't know why I'm nervous, but I

我不明白自己为什么紧张。

am for some reason.

等等。

Wait.

等等。

Wait.

这个鸡尾酒会是在仪式之后，还是在找座位之前？

Is this cocktail hour after the ceremony or getting seats before the ceremony?

之前。

Before.

原来如此。

Oh.

通常会提前半小时到一小时左右。

Because usually it's, like, thirty minutes to an hour Right.

具体时间要看新人安排了多少缓冲时间。

Depending on how much buffer time the couple has planned.

我也不知道为啥，就是挺喜欢这段时间的。

So I kinda like that time for some reason.

这会儿挺好的。

That's a nice time.

空气中到处都是期待的感觉。

There's a lot of anticipation in the air.

是的。

Yeah.

我能感觉到整个场面都洋溢着兴奋劲儿。

And I feel like it's, like, buzzing with excitement.

明白了。

Okay.

不过我其实不太在意蛋糕这部分。

But things that I don't really care for, actually, the cake.

你是说切蛋糕还是吃蛋糕？

Oh, like the cake cutting or eating the cake?

我根本不会吃蛋糕。

I'd, like, never eat the cake.

我不骗你。

I'm not gonna lie.

天啊，老兄。

Damn, dude.

那可是预算的大头啊。

That's like a lot of the budget right there.

老兄，你还记得去年咱们参加的那两三场婚礼吗？蛋糕居然是假的。

Dude, but, like, remember there was one or two weddings that we went to last year where the cake was fake.

对啊，确实。

Oh, true.

那蛋糕是假的，但新人会切一小块真的，然后假装切蛋糕。

It was, like, fake, and then the couple just had a real slice, and then they, like, pull it out.

不知道为什么，那一刻我就在想，蛋糕怎么可能是假的呢？

For some reason, at that moment, I was like, how could the cake be fake?

我根本就不会吃蛋糕。

As if I ever even eat the cake.

反正你都被骗了。

You're betrayed anyway.

是啊。

Yeah.

我觉得我可能只吃过五次蛋糕中的一次。

I think I've eaten the cake maybe 5% of the time.

哇哦。

Woah.

我每次都吃蛋糕，因为我知道背后花了不少心思。

I always eat the cake just because I know there's, like, a lot of thought that goes behind it.

比如，大家都会去试吃什么的。

Like, everyone does, like, the tastings and whatnot.

对。

Yeah.

但我确实喜欢看切蛋糕的过程。

But I do like watching the cake cutting.

挺可爱的。

It's pretty cute.

好的。

Okay.

我特别喜欢看到姨妈们婶婶们冲上舞池，就像我之前说的。

I love when the aunts and aunties get down on the dance floor, like I mentioned earlier.

我觉得这太好笑了，我超爱看。

I think that is hilarious and I love it so much.

是的。

Yeah.

我也喜欢闹洞房那段。

I also like afters.

我觉得闹洞房的时候，新郎新娘才能真正放松玩起来。

I think afters is when the bride and groom get to have fun.