EP158 道歉信 | 日常生活

Hello everyone and welcome back to EnglishPod.

Hello everyone and welcome back to EnglishPod.

My name is Marco.

My name is Marco.

My name is Catherine and today we have a very special lesson for everyone.

My name is Catherine and today we have a very special lesson for everyone.

It's a new level for us.

It's a new level for us.

Right, it's an advanced media lesson and we are going to be listening to an apology.

Right, it's an advanced media lesson and we are going to be listening to an apology.

Well, it's an Apology Letter but we're going to actually have someone talk it out.

Well, it's an Apology Letter but we're going to actually have someone talk it out.

Right, so what's happening here is someone is reading a letter they've written.

Right, so what's happening here is someone is reading a letter they've written.

And they're trying to apologize for something and we don't really know what this something is, but I want everyone to really listen here to the words that are being used and to the ways in which we can say sorry because as they say, uh, there are a thousand ways to say I'm sorry.

And they're trying to apologize for something and we don't really know what this something is, but I want everyone to really listen here to the words that are being used and to the ways in which we can say sorry because as they say, uh, there are a thousand ways to say I'm sorry.

dear mary, i come here today in this way because i need to apologize to you.

dear mary, i come here today in this way because i need to apologize to you.

i failed you.

i failed you.

although i did not lie to you in words, i lied to you with faces that did not belong to me.

although i did not lie to you in words, i lied to you with faces that did not belong to me.

i never meant to ruin the friendship that meant the world to me.

i never meant to ruin the friendship that meant the world to me.

you mean the world to me, and now i come to you asking for forgiveness.

you mean the world to me, and now i come to you asking for forgiveness.

If in your heart you find you can't, then I will understand and learn from this experience.

If in your heart you find you can't, then I will understand and learn from this experience.

you came into my life at a time when i needed you the most.

you came into my life at a time when i needed you the most.

we talked about so many things that i started to realize my heart and my soul could actually feel something other than hurt.

we talked about so many things that i started to realize my heart and my soul could actually feel something other than hurt.

you placed comfort where there was fear, confidence when there was doubt, a shoulder where tears could fall and completeness where there was emptiness.

you placed comfort where there was fear, confidence when there was doubt, a shoulder where tears could fall and completeness where there was emptiness.

i wanted to hold on to this so badly that i did whatever it took for you to notice.

i wanted to hold on to this so badly that i did whatever it took for you to notice.

what i didn't realize was that i could lose my entire being.

what i didn't realize was that i could lose my entire being.

all of who i was and all of that i had placed in you.

all of who i was and all of that i had placed in you.

i wanted to be the one who would be there when you needed to talk.

i wanted to be the one who would be there when you needed to talk.

i wanted to be the comfort for your soul when the world was too much to handle.

i wanted to be the comfort for your soul when the world was too much to handle.

i wanted to be strong for you when everything else seemed impossible.

i wanted to be strong for you when everything else seemed impossible.

i wanted to love you in only the way you deserve to be loved, never realizing that i was destroying myself and you.

i wanted to love you in only the way you deserve to be loved, never realizing that i was destroying myself and you.

somehow i needed you to be a part of my life.

somehow i needed you to be a part of my life.

the only problem was that i was willing to jeopardize everything to get that done.

the only problem was that i was willing to jeopardize everything to get that done.

all the things that i told you about how i felt and how you make me feel were true.

all the things that i told you about how i felt and how you make me feel were true.

nothing else mattered to me except hearing the laughter in your voice when you were happy.

nothing else mattered to me except hearing the laughter in your voice when you were happy.

you made my days easy to get through and my nights peaceful.

you made my days easy to get through and my nights peaceful.

you helped me look forward to another day.

you helped me look forward to another day.

even though distance separated us, just being was enough.

even though distance separated us, just being was enough.

i'm sorry for hurting you.

i'm sorry for hurting you.

and if i had to do it all over again, i would have been 100% with you.

and if i had to do it all over again, i would have been 100% with you.

forgive me, please.

forgive me, please.

All right, we're back.

All right, we're back.

So the guy seemed to be pretty sad.

So the guy seemed to be pretty sad.

Yeah, this is a very intense, uh, well, it's not a dialogue, it's a monologue.

Yeah, this is a very intense, uh, well, it's not a dialogue, it's a monologue.

One person is reading it, so it's a very intense monologue.

One person is reading it, so it's a very intense monologue.

Very romantic.

Very romantic.

Yeah, romantic, but also an air of melancholy.

Yeah, romantic, but also an air of melancholy.

Yeah, that's true.

Yeah, that's true.

It's kind, he's kind of like apologizing and at the same time expressing love and uh all these feelings.

It's kind, he's kind of like apologizing and at the same time expressing love and uh all these feelings.

So it was very interesting, but why don't we uh take a look at a couple of phrases.

So it was very interesting, but why don't we uh take a look at a couple of phrases.

Now, in Advanced Media, we're not going to analyze the entire dialogue or um as we do in the other levels, actually pick out uh items for language takeaway or fluency builder.

Now, in Advanced Media, we're not going to analyze the entire dialogue or um as we do in the other levels, actually pick out uh items for language takeaway or fluency builder.

So in advanced media, we're only going to pick out a couple of words and phrases and just talk about it and talk about the topic in general.

So in advanced media, we're only going to pick out a couple of words and phrases and just talk about it and talk about the topic in general.

Exactly.

Exactly.

And so one of the first phrases that we decided to talk about here is this phrase, I failed you, because this is really the theme of the letter.

And so one of the first phrases that we decided to talk about here is this phrase, I failed you, because this is really the theme of the letter.

Right.

Right.

So if you fail someone, it means that you let that person down.

So if you fail someone, it means that you let that person down.

Okay, so you fail someone, I failed you, or you can say, he failed me.

Okay, so you fail someone, I failed you, or you can say, he failed me.

So when I really needed that person the most, that person didn't come through or let me down or failed me.

So when I really needed that person the most, that person didn't come through or let me down or failed me.

All right, so let's give an example maybe.

All right, so let's give an example maybe.

Um, I needed my brother to pick me up because I don't have a car.

Um, I needed my brother to pick me up because I don't have a car.

And my brother was supposed to pick me up at four o'clock and he forgot.

And my brother was supposed to pick me up at four o'clock and he forgot.

He didn't come.

He didn't come.

He really failed me.

He really failed me.

All right.

All right.

he failed you.

he failed you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I was disappointed.

I was disappointed.

Well, this isn't, that's not as serious as what happened here in this, in this letter, I think, right?

Well, this isn't, that's not as serious as what happened here in this, in this letter, I think, right?

I think so, but we can talk about what did happen.

I think so, but we can talk about what did happen.

I think I have a theory and I know you have a theory, so we can talk about that in a minute.

I think I have a theory and I know you have a theory, so we can talk about that in a minute.

But before that, we have some other phrases about forgiveness and disappointment.

But before that, we have some other phrases about forgiveness and disappointment.

Right, well, he also said, "You mean the world to me, and now I come to you asking for forgiveness.

Right, well, he also said, "You mean the world to me, and now I come to you asking for forgiveness.

" Okay, so we've got a positive and a negative.

" Okay, so we've got a positive and a negative.

So the positive here is, "You mean the world to me.

So the positive here is, "You mean the world to me.

" You mean the world to me.

" You mean the world to me.

This means you are so important to me.

This means you are so important to me.

You're one of the most important people in my life.

You're one of the most important people in my life.

You're worth as, you're worth the entire world, in my opinion.

You're worth as, you're worth the entire world, in my opinion.

Yeah, it's a very poetic way of saying you're very important.

Yeah, it's a very poetic way of saying you're very important.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then he says, "And now I come asking for your forgiveness.

And then he says, "And now I come asking for your forgiveness.

" Okay, so this implies that he did something wrong.

" Okay, so this implies that he did something wrong.

I come asking for forgiveness.

I come asking for forgiveness.

So in English, we ask for forgiveness.

So in English, we ask for forgiveness.

You can also beg for forgiveness.

You can also beg for forgiveness.

So please forgive me.

So please forgive me.

But this is... You can't demand forgiveness.

But this is... You can't demand forgiveness.

I demand you forgive.

I demand you forgive.

No, that doesn't quite work.

No, that doesn't quite work.

All right.

All right.

What else do we have?

What else do we have?

We've got the world again here.

We've got the world again here.

He says, he, the guy who's reading, he says, You know, I wanted to be the comfort for your soul.

He says, he, the guy who's reading, he says, You know, I wanted to be the comfort for your soul.

So this is very, again, poetic.

So this is very, again, poetic.

When the world was too much to handle.

When the world was too much to handle.

Wow.

Wow.

Too much to handle is a really important English phrase.

Too much to handle is a really important English phrase.

And I'm sure you've heard it before, but we could talk about it a little bit here.

And I'm sure you've heard it before, but we could talk about it a little bit here.

Right.

Right.

So he says when everything else was too much to handle.

So he says when everything else was too much to handle.

So everything was so difficult or it was overwhelming.

So everything was so difficult or it was overwhelming.

Right.

Right.

So you could say even in the office, man, all this work I have to do, it's too much to handle.

So you could say even in the office, man, all this work I have to do, it's too much to handle.

Right, right.

Right, right.

Okay.

Okay.

So too much to handle.

So too much to handle.

You could also say a child is too much to handle.

You could also say a child is too much to handle.

I think they said this about my brother.

I think they said this about my brother.

He was very difficult growing up.

He was very difficult growing up.

Too hard.

Too hard.

He's too, he's too difficult to handle.

He's too, he's too difficult to handle.

All right.

All right.

Well, what about in the part where he says, you placed comfort where there was fear, confidence where there was doubt.

Well, what about in the part where he says, you placed comfort where there was fear, confidence where there was doubt.

So this structure is interesting because you placed something where there used to be something else.

So this structure is interesting because you placed something where there used to be something else.

So you're replacing something, you're changing something for something else.

So you're replacing something, you're changing something for something else.

It's an exchange.

It's an exchange.

So you could say you placed comfort where there was fear, you placed.

So you could say you placed comfort where there was fear, you placed.

happiness where there was sadness.

happiness where there was sadness.

So it's always like kind of opposites, right?

So it's always like kind of opposites, right?

Exactly.

Exactly.

Okay, instead of light where there was dark.

Okay, instead of light where there was dark.

Right, exactly.

Right, exactly.

So that's an interesting format of of saying something.

So that's an interesting format of of saying something.

You did something where there used to be something else.

You did something where there used to be something else.

All right, and uh what about this word to jeopardize?

All right, and uh what about this word to jeopardize?

All right, this is a good one.

All right, this is a good one.

I always think of the TV game show Jeopardy.

I always think of the TV game show Jeopardy.

Um but that's a noun.

Um but that's a noun.

This here is a verb, to jeopardize, and that means to put something in danger or to risk losing something.

This here is a verb, to jeopardize, and that means to put something in danger or to risk losing something.

Okay, so to jeopardize your health if you're doing something dangerous.

Okay, so to jeopardize your health if you're doing something dangerous.

So smoking jeopardizes one's health.

So smoking jeopardizes one's health.

Mhm.

Mhm.

you're putting your health at risk.

you're putting your health at risk.

Or I don't want to jeopardize my savings by investing everything I have in stocks.

Or I don't want to jeopardize my savings by investing everything I have in stocks.

That means I would prefer to do something safer.

That means I would prefer to do something safer.

Mmm.

Mmm.

So you don't you don't like to jeopardize your your well-being.

So you don't you don't like to jeopardize your your well-being.

I like to play it safe.

I like to play it safe.

as we say.

as we say.

All right, very good.

All right, very good.

And uh last but not least, this almost the last phrase when he says, even though distance separated us, just being was enough.

And uh last but not least, this almost the last phrase when he says, even though distance separated us, just being was enough.

What does he mean when he says just being was enough?

What does he mean when he says just being was enough?

All right, this is very romantic, intensely romantic.

All right, this is very romantic, intensely romantic.

He says.

He says.

Even though we were far apart, just being, so just existing, just breathing was enough.

Even though we were far apart, just being, so just existing, just breathing was enough.

So just knowing that she's in the world was enough for him to feel happy.

So just knowing that she's in the world was enough for him to feel happy.

So that's what he means with just being was enough.

So that's what he means with just being was enough.

Right, so being is existing.

Right, so being is existing.

It's being alive.

It's being alive.

Okay, very good.

Okay, very good.

I think we should listen to this Apology Letter one more time and we'll be back.

I think we should listen to this Apology Letter one more time and we'll be back.

dear mary, i come here today in this way because i need to apologize to you.

dear mary, i come here today in this way because i need to apologize to you.

i failed you.

i failed you.

although i did not lie to you in words, i lied to you with faces that did not belong to me.

although i did not lie to you in words, i lied to you with faces that did not belong to me.

i never meant to ruin the friendship that meant the world to me.

i never meant to ruin the friendship that meant the world to me.

you mean the world to me, and now i come to you asking for forgiveness.

you mean the world to me, and now i come to you asking for forgiveness.

if in your heart you find you can't, then i will understand and learn from this experience.

if in your heart you find you can't, then i will understand and learn from this experience.

you came into my life at a time when i needed you the most.

you came into my life at a time when i needed you the most.

we talked about so many things that i started to realize my heart and my soul could actually feel something other than hurt.

we talked about so many things that i started to realize my heart and my soul could actually feel something other than hurt.

you placed comfort where there was fear.

you placed comfort where there was fear.

confidence when there was doubt, a shoulder where tears could fall and completeness where there was emptiness.

confidence when there was doubt, a shoulder where tears could fall and completeness where there was emptiness.

i wanted to hold on to this so badly that i did whatever it took for you to notice.

i wanted to hold on to this so badly that i did whatever it took for you to notice.

what i didn't realize was that i could lose my entire being, all of who i was and all of that i had placed in you.

what i didn't realize was that i could lose my entire being, all of who i was and all of that i had placed in you.

i wanted to be the one who would be there when you needed to talk.

i wanted to be the one who would be there when you needed to talk.

i wanted to be the comfort for your soul when the world was too much to handle.

i wanted to be the comfort for your soul when the world was too much to handle.

i wanted to be strong for you when everything else seemed impossible.

i wanted to be strong for you when everything else seemed impossible.

i wanted to love you in only the way you deserve to be loved, never realizing that i was destroying myself and you.

i wanted to love you in only the way you deserve to be loved, never realizing that i was destroying myself and you.

somehow i needed you to be a part of my life.

somehow i needed you to be a part of my life.

the only problem was that i was willing to jeopardize everything to get that done.

the only problem was that i was willing to jeopardize everything to get that done.

all the things that i told you about how i felt and how you make me feel were true.

all the things that i told you about how i felt and how you make me feel were true.

nothing else mattered to me except hearing the laughter in your voice when you were happy.

nothing else mattered to me except hearing the laughter in your voice when you were happy.

you made my days easy to get through and my nights peaceful.

you made my days easy to get through and my nights peaceful.

you helped me look forward to another day.

you helped me look forward to another day.

even though distance separated us, just being was enough.

even though distance separated us, just being was enough.

I'm sorry for hurting you, and if I had to do it all over again, I would have been 100% with you.

I'm sorry for hurting you, and if I had to do it all over again, I would have been 100% with you.

Forgive me, please.

Forgive me, please.

All right, so what do you think he did that he's apologizing in this way?

All right, so what do you think he did that he's apologizing in this way?

Because I don't think they were a couple, right?

Because I don't think they were a couple, right?

Because he mentions friendship a couple of times.

Because he mentions friendship a couple of times.

Yes, with a but.

Yes, with a but.

You don't write a letter like this to someone who you want to stay friends with.

You don't write a letter like this to someone who you want to stay friends with.

You write a letter like this to someone who you have some kind of romantic or intense feeling for, right?

You write a letter like this to someone who you have some kind of romantic or intense feeling for, right?

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

So to me this seems like a letter that was written to someone who was a great friend and uh he's afraid of losing that because he cares.

So to me this seems like a letter that was written to someone who was a great friend and uh he's afraid of losing that because he cares.

even more for her.

even more for her.

Right.

Right.

But yeah, I guess, but do you think he's he's confessing his love in a certain way here?

But yeah, I guess, but do you think he's he's confessing his love in a certain way here?

I think in some ways he's confessing a love.

I think in some ways he's confessing a love.

You can love your friends, that's okay.

You can love your friends, that's okay.

Um, but more than that, he's just, he's apologizing for something that he thinks has completely destroyed their friendship.

Um, but more than that, he's just, he's apologizing for something that he thinks has completely destroyed their friendship.

And that is where I'm very confused, 'cause I have no idea what he did.

And that is where I'm very confused, 'cause I have no idea what he did.

Well, maybe, um, he did something that let her down, maybe he became jealous of.

Well, maybe, um, he did something that let her down, maybe he became jealous of.

her new boyfriend or something like that.

her new boyfriend or something like that.

Yeah, or maybe it's something catty like he was supposed to do something with her and ended up doing something with other people and left her out or embarrassed her in front of people.

Yeah, or maybe it's something catty like he was supposed to do something with her and ended up doing something with other people and left her out or embarrassed her in front of people.

It's hard to say.

It's hard to say.

Now, have you ever written an Apology Letter?

Now, have you ever written an Apology Letter?

Yeah, I have.

Yeah, I have.

I've written a few Apology Letters.

I've written a few Apology Letters.

I have a very strong sense of guilt.

I have a very strong sense of guilt.

I was raised Catholic.

I was raised Catholic.

So, an Apology Letter, is it, do you usually plan out what you want to say or you just like, you just splurge your feelings onto the paper?

So, an Apology Letter, is it, do you usually plan out what you want to say or you just like, you just splurge your feelings onto the paper?

Well, you know me.

Well, you know me.

My personality is very planned and organized and so normally I have points.

My personality is very planned and organized and so normally I have points.

So I say, um, if this is the problem, there's three parts, I have an answer for each part, and at the very end I have the heartfelt apology.

So I say, um, if this is the problem, there's three parts, I have an answer for each part, and at the very end I have the heartfelt apology.

Oh, wow.

Oh, wow.

It's like an essay.

It's like an essay.

I guess it's a little, yeah, it's a little bit more organized.

I guess it's a little, yeah, it's a little bit more organized.

If I were to write something like this, I would just like start writing and whatever comes out.

If I were to write something like this, I would just like start writing and whatever comes out.

So it would probably make less sense than your letter.

So it would probably make less sense than your letter.

Well, I just try to stay on focused standpoint and address the matter at hand.

Well, I just try to stay on focused standpoint and address the matter at hand.

Because otherwise, then you get into other stuff and you can make people more angry.

Because otherwise, then you get into other stuff and you can make people more angry.

Right.

Right.

But it is really important to write an Apology Letter.

But it is really important to write an Apology Letter.

Now, some of the words and phrases and the vocabulary used here can be used in circumstances that are not only romantic, right?

Now, some of the words and phrases and the vocabulary used here can be used in circumstances that are not only romantic, right?

You can be used in a professional way as well.

You can be used in a professional way as well.

right?

right?

That's true.

That's true.

In a professional sense, you want to be careful not to get too personal.

In a professional sense, you want to be careful not to get too personal.

So in a professional sense, it's good to say that.

So in a professional sense, it's good to say that.

You know, you're sorry for any mix-ups or for misunderstandings, but in the future you will try to make things better.

You know, you're sorry for any mix-ups or for misunderstandings, but in the future you will try to make things better.

Right.

Right.

Or improve, but in friendships and in families and in romantic relationships, Apology Letters are very, very important because I'm a big believer in mending bridges.

Or improve, but in friendships and in families and in romantic relationships, Apology Letters are very, very important because I'm a big believer in mending bridges.

I know a lot of people who, we say in English, you know, to burn a bridge, that means to destroy a relationship and never go back.

I know a lot of people who, we say in English, you know, to burn a bridge, that means to destroy a relationship and never go back.

But I like to mend bridges to make sure that people who I was friends with don't.

But I like to mend bridges to make sure that people who I was friends with don't.

you know, if we have a fight, don't just hate me forever.

you know, if we have a fight, don't just hate me forever.

right.

right.

that even if there's a disagreement, that they understand my perspective or that i understand theirs.

that even if there's a disagreement, that they understand my perspective or that i understand theirs.

yeah, that's true.

yeah, that's true.

i think that's important.

i think that's important.

what about apology emails?

what about apology emails?

do you agree with those?

do you agree with those?

i think that they are a necessity of the 21st century.

i think that they are a necessity of the 21st century.

i mean, i live far away from most of my friends and family, and so it's important for me to be able to communicate in any way.

i mean, i live far away from most of my friends and family, and so it's important for me to be able to communicate in any way.

but, um, and sometimes, i mean, i'm very shy with some people, so sometimes it's hard for me to talk on the phone.

but, um, and sometimes, i mean, i'm very shy with some people, so sometimes it's hard for me to talk on the phone.

'cause I get stuck and then I don't I can't think of what I wanted to say.

'cause I get stuck and then I don't I can't think of what I wanted to say.

And so if if a letter helps in that way to to get you past your um your fear or your anxiety, then by all means an email is just just as much uh a good way.

And so if if a letter helps in that way to to get you past your um your fear or your anxiety, then by all means an email is just just as much uh a good way.

I actually received a letter, a handwritten letter through an email.

I actually received a letter, a handwritten letter through an email.

How did that happen?

How did that happen?

So the person They scanned it.

So the person They scanned it.

They scanned the letter.

They scanned the letter.

Oh wow.

Oh wow.

So it was still like it still had a very intimate and personal sense, but obviously since the mail takes so long and everything, they just scanned it and then they sent it to my email.

So it was still like it still had a very intimate and personal sense, but obviously since the mail takes so long and everything, they just scanned it and then they sent it to my email.

That's nice.

That's nice.

So that I think that's a good idea.

So that I think that's a good idea.

Maybe you you can try that one.

Maybe you you can try that one.

I'll try that one.

I'll try that one.

i don't agree with the one-line email.

i don't agree with the one-line email.

i'm sorry, forgive me.

i'm sorry, forgive me.

yeah, yeah, that's not good.

yeah, yeah, that's not good.

as my parents always used to say when i was growing up and i'd get in fights with my little brother, the only apologies that we accept are the ones that are from the heart.

as my parents always used to say when i was growing up and i'd get in fights with my little brother, the only apologies that we accept are the ones that are from the heart.

so i used to have to apologize again and again and again until i actually meant it.

so i used to have to apologize again and again and again until i actually meant it.

and so i think that this is a very true kind of idea that, well, maybe not in... business and work where you have to be cordial.

and so i think that this is a very true kind of idea that, well, maybe not in... business and work where you have to be cordial.

But with friends and real relationships with people who you care about, obviously real apologies are very important.

But with friends and real relationships with people who you care about, obviously real apologies are very important.

Of course.

Of course.

So this is an interesting topic and we recommend that if you have any other questions or doubts or maybe you want some other explanation for this letter, you can come to EnglishPod.

So this is an interesting topic and we recommend that if you have any other questions or doubts or maybe you want some other explanation for this letter, you can come to EnglishPod.

com, leave it in the comments section and we'll be there.

com, leave it in the comments section and we'll be there.

So until next time.

So until next time.

Bye.

Bye.