身体积极 vs. 身体羞辱

欢迎来到《痴迷》节目，米卡、蒂亚和我将挑战限制你的思维，提供实现转变的工具。

Welcome to obsessed, where Mika, Tia, and I challenge the thoughts that limit you, where we provide the tools for transformation.

准备好被痴迷的原始力量席卷，揭开对成长与改变永不满足的渴望背后的秘密与故事。

Be prepared to be swept away into the raw power of obsession, unlocking secrets and stories behind the insatiable hunger for growth and change.

这不仅仅是一档播客。

This is more than just a podcast.

这是你的故事。

This is your story.

这是给那些拒绝妥协、敢于梦想、并执着追求卓越人生的人的宣言。

It is a manifesto for those who refuse to settle, who dare to dream, and who are relentless in the pursuit of living a great life.

让你的生活变得令人痴迷。

Get obsessed with your life.

天哪。

OMG.

你今天是不是觉得有点胖？

Are you feeling a little chubby today?

你知道吗，我感觉自己有点胖。

You know, I'm feeling a little chubby.

过去两三年甚至四年，我一直觉得有点胖，就是怎么也甩不掉。

I've been feeling a little chubby for, like, the past two, three, four years, and I just can't shake it.

我真正意识到，我对自己的要求太苛刻了。

And I real recognize that I'm being so hard on myself.

我为什么要在意呢？

Why should I care?

我不知道。

I don't know.

我想大概是因为社会告诉我们，我们该在意，该符合某种标准。

I guess it's because society dictates that we should care, that we should fit into a box.

今天我要告诉你们，我们请到了黛比·库维茨做客节目，她让我学会接纳自己的一切——接纳那些隆起、凹陷、缺陷、美丽，以及构成我们独特自我的所有纹理。

And I have to tell you today, we have Debbie Kubitz on the show today, and she inspires me just to embrace everything about myself, embrace not only the lumps, bumps, the flaws, the beauty, the special tapestry that makes us us.

你们一定会喜欢和她聊天的。

And you guys are gonna love chatting with her.

我知道我们会聊到身体形象，这可能是我们最喜爱的话题，也就是更年期。

I know we're gonna talk everything about body image to our favorite topic, probably du jour, which is menopause.

所以大家别着急。

So that's hold your horses, everybody.

但黛比太棒了。

But Debbie is amazing.

她是Savvy的品牌合作伙伴，我爱上了Savvy。

She's a brand partner with Savvy, and I fell in love with Savvy.

我已经成了Savvy所有产品的收藏狂。

I I have just become a hoarder of all things Savvy.

他们的运动裤和健身服穿起来就像第二层皮肤一样贴身。

The leggings, the workout clothes, it fits you like a glove.

柔软得像黄油一样。

It's like butter.

但更重要的是，我非常喜欢他们的使命。

But more importantly, I love their mission.

他们的使命是赋能所有体型、尺寸、外貌的女性。

Their mission is to empower women to empower women of all shapes, sizes, looks.

无论你作为女性是什么样子，你都值得在这里发光。

Just any anything that you are as a woman, you are meant to be here.

你注定要闪耀。

You are meant to shine.

你注定要做你想做的事。

You are meant to do the things you wanna do.

而我们常常是自己最大的敌人。

And often, we are our own worst enemies.

我非常欣赏Savvy的宣言，尤其是在包容性方面，它深刻理解到所谓现状并不存在，这让我觉得非常有趣。

I love Savvy's manifesto just in terms of inclusivity and just understanding that the status there is no such thing as a status quo, and I find this so intriguing.

但Debbie Kubitz就在这里。

But Debbie Kubitz is here.

就在开始录制前，我们刚聊了几句，我说，我觉得我们该开始录制了，因为这些内容正是人们需要听到的。

And we were just talking a second before I started recording, and I said, you know, I think we need to start recording because this stuff is what people need to hear.

所以，嗨，黛比。

So, hey, Debbie.

最近怎么样，亲爱的？

What's going on, girlfriend?

朱莉，非常非常非常感谢你邀请我。

Julie, thank you so, so, so much for having me.

你太棒了。

You're amazing.

太棒了。

Amazing.

我怎么感谢你都不为过。

I can't thank you enough.

我和你聊过，感觉你就像一束光。

I talked to you, and it's like you're a you're a light.

你是一阵清新的空气。

You're a breath of fresh air.

我真的很期待只是随便聊聊。

I'm excited to just chitchat.

如果一些零星的信息能帮助一位女性感觉好一点，那我们就赢了。

And if little bits of information can help one woman feel just a little bit better, then we're then we're winning.

谢谢你。

Thank you.

我很喜欢这一点。

Well, I love that.

我首先非常欣赏你为Savvy所做的工作。

And I love the work that you're doing with Savvy, first and foremost.

但作为女性，而且你有一个成年的女儿，如今要应对我们的生活、我们对自己的形象，即使从小孩时期就开始，真的很难。

But I also you know, as women and you're a mom to a grown woman, but it is so hard to navigate our lives, our images of ourselves these days even when we were children.

你知道的？

You know?

社交媒体啊，所有这些东西，都会让你开始对自己感到糟糕。

Just social media, all that stuff, and you just start feeling crappy about yourself.

那么，完美的身材类型是什么？

And what is the perfect body type?

这个问题真是个很好的开场。

That is a great question to kick it off with.

天啊。

Oh my goodness.

根本不存在什么完美的身材类型。

What there is absolutely no perfect body type.

我的意思是，就像你说的，这真的很难。

I mean, like you said, it's so hard.

即使我们小时候长大，也很困难。

Even with us growing up at our age, it was hard.

嗯。

Mhmm.

但现在对这些年轻女性来说更糟了，因为社交媒体上充斥着各种图片，所有东西都被滤镜处理，每个人都是所谓的自动拍摄，总之

But even now for these younger women, it's worse because of the social media and the images that are out there and everything's filtered and everybody's, you know, auto shot, whatever you call that, where it's

不是真实的。

not real.

修图过的？

Photoshopped?

修图过的。

Photoshopped.

谢谢。

Thank you.

修图过的。

Photoshopped.

自动美化过的。

Autoshopped.

而且这都不是真实的。

And it's not real.

所以我认为，如果我们谈论这些年轻女孩的话，这给她们带来了非常糟糕的压力。

And so I think it puts a really, really bad pressure on these young girls if we're talking about them.

但就我们而言，你知道，根本没有所谓完美的身材类型。

But as far as us as well, you know, there is no birth perfect body type.

但我觉得我们会去看、去比较、去评判、去渴望、去羡慕别人拥有的东西，或者别人的样子。

But I think we look and we compare and we judge and we want and we envy what somebody else may have or, you know, or look like.

这并不公平，我们需要达到一个女性支持女性的境界。

And it's just not fair, and we need to come to a point where women are supporting women.

我们所有人身材、体型、体格、背景都不同，无论怎样，我们都应该彼此相爱，感到自在。

We all are different sizes, shapes, builds, backgrounds, whatever it is, and love each other and feel comfortable.

我们应该感到自豪，走进任何地方时都能自信、快乐、闪闪发光。

And we should be proud, and we should walk in somewhere and feel confident and happy and shine.

但不幸的是，事情并不总是这样发展的。

And, unfortunately, that's not always the way it goes.

没错。

Right.

这难道不是事实吗？

And isn't that the truth?

我刚刚起了一身鸡皮疙瘩，因为我想到：为什么我总是对自己这么苛刻？

And I just got the goosebumps because I'm thinking, why do I kick myself in the butt all the time?

因为我还甩不掉这五磅体重。

Because I can't shake these five pounds yet.

我生了四个孩子。

I gave birth to four children.

我承载过这些孩子。

I have carried these children.

我承受过难以言表的重担，却还在乎这五到十磅的体重。

I have carried loads that are unspeakable, and yet I care about five or 10 pound.

这对我来说毫无逻辑可言。

It doesn't make logical sense to me.

这确实说不通。

It doesn't make sense.

我也是这样。

And I'm the same way.

我非常关注体型形象，这部分也与我成长的环境有关。

I'm very much body image focused, and some of that is just how I was brought up.

外貌如何是非常重要的事情，诸如此类。

It was a very much a priority, what you look like and things like that.

所以

So

但为什么会这样呢？

Why is that though?

是源于你自己，还是只是你们这一代人的普遍现象？

Like, was that from you or just from your generation?

或者

Or

这在成长和家庭教育方面确实给我带来了一些压力。

That was pressured a little bit just my upbringing parenting wise.

哦。

Oh.

我是被这样养育的。

How I was parented.

在我家，这是非常重要的事。

It was a very much a priority in my home.

哦，天哪。

Oh, wow.

这真不容易。

That's tough.

那是另一回事了。

A that's a whole another day.

我们改天再谈这个吧。

We can do that some other time.

但我觉得我也是这样。

But I just think same with me.

比如，当我们到了一定年龄，尤其是中年，身体开始发生变化，很多事情都超出了我们的控制。

Like, we get to a point when we you know, especially in the middle age where our bodies are changing, things are doing different things than we cannot control.

我不明白为什么我们不能达到这样一个状态：好吧，也许我多了五磅、十磅，但我很健康。

I don't know why we can't get to a point where we need to somehow figure out how to get to a point where, okay, yes, maybe I have five extra pounds, 10 extra pounds, But I'm healthy.

我很快乐。

I'm happy.

我养了四个或两个。

Raised four or two.

我有两个孩子。

I have two kids.

你有四个孩子。

You have four kids.

还有太多其他事情了。

There's so many other things.

所以我觉得，当这些想法出现时，它们往往以消极的方式涌入我的脑海，比如‘你看起来不够好’。

So I think when those thoughts come in, they come into my brain a lot negative wise, like you don't look good enough.

你需要减肥。

You need to lose weight.

所有这些消极的、消极的想法，你必须立刻制止它们，转变心态，就说好吧。

All those negative, negative thoughts, you've got to stop them right away and flip it and just say, okay.

你必须开始说，但我做到了这些、这些、这些和这些。

You have to start saying, but I did this, this, and this, and this.

你必须设法把它变成积极的。

Like, you just have to turn it into a positive somehow.

这很难，因为我每天都在与之斗争。

And as hard as that is because I battle it all day every day.

我们必须这么做。

We have to.

我们必须这么做。

We have to.

我们被设计和塑造成这样是有原因和目的的，我们必须开始为此而爱自己。

We were designed and built this way for a reason and a purpose, and we have to start to love ourselves for that.

你难道不觉得吗？我只是从我的经验出发这么说。

And don't you feel like and I'm just saying this from my experience.

当你被这些想法控制时，你是否觉得自己几乎是在自我监禁？

Do you feel like you are almost jailing yourself when we are controlled by these thoughts?

一旦我们意识到这些想法，并将它们摆在明处，从客观的角度来看，发现它们毫无道理、不切实际，我们就能改变自己的想法。

Once we've recognized them and we put them out there and we realize from an objective viewpoint that it doesn't make sense, that it's not realistic, we can change our thoughts.

但我们继续下去，仍感到缺乏自由，而我们又渴望自由。

But we continue and we feel this lack of freedom, yet we want freedom.

这正是我正在为自己思考的问题。

And that's the thing I'm just trying to think for myself.

你如何克服这个障碍并为自己庆祝？

How do you get over that obstacle and celebrate yourself?

是的。

Yeah.

好问题。

Good question.

这是个好问题，因为我经常这么说。

Good question because I say that all the time.

我是自己大脑的囚徒。

I'm a prisoner of my own brain.

而且你确实会感觉自己像个囚徒。

And it's, it's you do, you feel like you're a prisoner.

我一直都这样，我想，你想要获得平静。

And I, all the time, it's like, I want, you want to get peace.

你希望内心获得安宁。

You want to have peace in your mind.

你不想被那些想法和事物所控制。

You don't want to be controlled by those thoughts and those things.

我不知道除了加入一个能支持你、可以倾诉的女性社群之外，还有什么办法能弥合这种巨大的差距。

And I don't know how we gap that so much other than being in a community of women who can support you and you can talk about it.

我觉得我们平时谈论这些问题太少了，尤其是更年期和相关的事情。

I think we don't talk about things enough, especially when it comes to menopause and all that stuff.

我觉得，只有当你有一个充满爱的社群，能够表达这些想法，感受到被倾听和被认可时，才能真正度过这些难关。

That's the only way I feel like you can kind of get through some of is when you have a community that will love and you can voice these things and you can feel heard and validate it.

嗯。

Mhmm.

是的。

Yeah.

但我不知道这个差距在哪里。

But I don't know the gap.

我也不知道这有多难。

I it's I don't know how it's a very hard thing.

正如我所说，这全是心态的问题。

Like I said, it's all mindset.

继续调整你的心态，因为这是一场艰难的战斗。

Keep working on your mindset because it's a it's a tough it's a tough battle.

是的。

Yeah.

而且，我知道最近几周有几位关系比较近的人离世了。

And, you know, I've had couple people on the perimeter, I would say close, that have passed away in the past few weeks.

我在想，为什么这些事情都这么重要？

I'm thinking to myself, why does all this stuff matter?

当我们思考时，我们最后一口气，这些还会重要吗？

When we think about it, the very last breath we take, is this gonna matter?

不，这些都不会重要。

And, no, it's not gonna matter.

这并不疯狂。

It's not crazy.

你不可能带着你瘦弱的身体上天堂。

You're not taking your skinny body to heaven with you.

现在还流行瘦吗？

And is it cool to be skinny anymore?

我的意思是，我以前一直努力变得瘦。

I mean, like, I used to, like, strive to be skinny.

现在我努力的是不要长皱纹。

Now I strive to not have wrinkles.

现在更重要的是什么呢？

There's what what's what's more important at this point?

姐妹们，我知道你们懂，因为我们都在努力符合某种标准，试图获得来自某人的认可。

And girls, I know you understand because we're trying to fit into a box and trying to feel that sense of approval from whomever that is.

我不知道。

I don't know.

但是

But

没错。

Right.

我认为作为女性，我们必须努力摆脱这个框框。

And I think we have to as women, we have to fight to get out of that box.

我认为我们必须像我们之前讨论的那样，女性之间常常互相竞争。

I think we have to I think like we talked about, women compete with women.

顺便说一句，这真的太不酷了。

That's so not cool, by the way.

这真的太不酷了。

It's so not cool.

这就是为什么我如此热爱这个社区的原因之一，Savi，它和我参与过的任何其他地方都截然不同，我希望它能扩展到每一个角落，因为在这里，你一定会被接纳。

And that's one of the reasons, Savi, that I love so much is this community is so different than anything else I've been a part of, and I wish it would expand through everywhere is you are welcomed.

无论你以何种方式出现，你都属于这里。

You are belong however you show up.

每个人都欢迎你，无论你是XS码还是XXXL码，我们都爱你。

Everybody is welcome, and you show up whether you're, you know, an extra small or you're a three x like we love you.

你们在离开时应该感到良好并充满自信，因为你们值得这样。

You're doing we want you to feel good walking out that door and have confidence because you you should.

我们每个人都是独特的。

We are all unique.

我们每个人都是特别的。

We are all special.

我们每个人来到这里都有其目的和意义。

We are all here for a purpose and a reason.

所以我们应该走出去做点什么。

So we should go out and do that.

那就是我一直在纠结的事。

And that's what I battled my head.

比如，把我在脑子里用来担心体重或皱纹的精力用到正地方去。

Like, go use this energy I'm using in my head to worry about my weight or my wrinkles.

去利用它，把它用在好事上。

Go use that and be put it towards good.

嗯。

Mhmm.

我们几乎变得太自私了。

Like, we get almost so selfish.

当我只关注自己时，我就是在完全地自私。

Like, that's when I'm focusing on myself, I'm being completely selfish.

所以也许我该稍微停止这种想法，想想今天我能为别人做点什么？

So maybe I need to stop that a little bit and focus on, well, how can I serve someone else today?

你知道的，走出自己的空间。

You know, get out of my own space.

当你出去做这些事时，就像你和Savvy的标志一样——你看起来好，感觉就好，然后就会去做好事。

And when you're out doing that, it's kinda like when you and Savvy's logo is when you look good, you feel good, you go do good.

嗯。

Mhmm.

所以你必须在生活的方方面面都考虑到他们。

And so you have to think about them every part of your life.

这就是他们所做的。

So that's what they do.

他们希望你穿着他们的衣服看起来很棒，这很棒，因为这样你会感觉良好。

They want you to look good with their clothing, which is amazing because then you feel good.

嗯。

Mhmm.

然后每当你感觉良好时，你就会出去拥有更美好的一天。

And then anytime you feel good, you're gonna go out and have a better day.

你会走出去，做些了不起的事情。

You're gonna go out and do great things.

所以我们必须摆脱自己的束缚。

So it's like we just have to we have to get out of our own ways.

关键在于当我们感觉不好时。

The trick is is when we don't feel good.

你知道，即使我们看起来不错，但回头看看十年前的照片，那时候拍照片时你觉得自己糟透了。

You know, even if we look good, you know, you look back at pictures from ten years ago where when the picture was taken, you thought you looked horrible.

而现在你会说，天哪。

And now you're like, oh my god.

我那时候真可爱。

I was so cute back then.

哦。

Oh.

但没错。

But Right.

你知道，当我们感觉不好时，也要坚持挺过去。

You know, when we don't feel good, like, plowing through that as well.

我完全同意，当我们孤立时，就会陷入自己的思维怪圈。

And I absolutely agree when you do we get in our own heads when we're isolated.

我们会开始只想着自己、自己、自己，而这种感受，每个普通人都能体会到。

We start to think about me, me, me, me, and we're all privy to that feeling every single human being out there.

但我们确实需要与他人携手并肩，尤其是那些辛勤工作的女性。

But we do need these other people to lock arms with, these women, especially, who work so hard.

有些女孩真的特别爱评判别人。

And some of these girls are so judgmental.

为什么人们总是喜欢评判呢？

Why why are people judging?

在谈这个之前，我想了解一下你的经历，因为你并不是突然就冒出来成为健身达人、健康与健身专家的，你一定有过一段从过去走到现在的背景故事。

And before I even get to that, I want like, I wanna know a little bit about your history because your history, you just didn't pop up, and you're like this exercise guru, this health and fitness expert, there must have been a backstory before that that got you from there to here.

天哪。

Oh gosh.

是的。

Yeah.

你知道，我小时候和妈妈一起生活，到了某个年龄，她对健康和健身变得非常痴迷。

You know, I grew up with my mother, at a certain age, got very, very into health and fitness.

嗯。

Mhmm.

那时候有氧运动特别流行。

Back in the day when aerobics was really big.

简·方达。

Jane Fonda.

我们来谈谈简·方达。

Let's talk about Jane Fonda.

嗯。

Mhmm.

她简直就是简·方达。

She she's basically Jane Fonda.

那就是我妈妈。

So that was my mother.

好吧。

Okay.

想象一下吧。

So imagine that.

所以作为她的女儿，承受的压力有点大。

So the pressure being a daughter under her was a little bit

她身材完美吗？还是说她只是想取悦你爸爸？

Does she have a perfect body, or was she, like, trying to please your dad?

或者，那究竟是为什么？

Or, like, what was it?

两者都有。

Both.

那时她确实拥有完美的身材，因为她每天要教好几节课，但她也希望得到我爸爸的认可，他对外表确实有些要求。

She did at that point have a perfect body because she taught multiple, multiple classes a day, but she also wanted my dad there's a little pressure from him that how you look.

哦，哇。

Oh, wow.

就是这样，他确实如此。

That's how he yeah.

嗯。

Mhmm.

这就是我的意思。

So that's what I mean.

我的经历有点奇怪。

My history is a little a little funky.

哦，我们都有一些事情。

Oh, we all have we all have stuff.

相信我。

Trust me.

是的。

Yeah.

嗯。

Yeah.

我们都有一堆事，姑娘。

We all got stuff, girl.

我们都有一堆事。

We all have stuff.

所以那只是当时优先考虑的事。

So it was just that was a priority.

比如，你只是变得很重，我那时候在中学，我到了，现在他们叫什么来着？

Like, you just to be heavy, and I hit mid I hit, what do they call it now?

青春期，我就进入青春期了。

Adolescents or middle school, and I puberty.

嗯。

Yeah.

青春期。

Puberty.

而且，你知道的，作为女孩，你可能会因为荷尔蒙而发胖，这又是一个荷尔蒙变化的问题。

And, you know, you you as a girl, you can put on some weight because your hormones, again, it's a hormonal thing change.

从那时起，我就一直挣扎，不断挣扎，持续挣扎。

And so from that point on, I struggled, and I struggled, and I struggled.

所以直到我二十多岁才出现这种情况。

So it didn't come until my twenties.

你有没有因为胖而被别人责备过？

Were you chastised, like, for being chubby, like, by anybody?

或者

Or

当然有。

Oh, sure.

嗯。

Mhmm.

是来自你的父母吗？还是说他们可能不会听这个。

Was it from your parents, or I don't know if if they're gonna listen to this.

兄弟姐妹，父母。

Siblings, parents.

哦，哇。

Oh, wow.

好吧。

Okay.

是的。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

你知道，中学的孩子们有点刻薄。

You know, kids in middle school were kinda nasty.

高中时就没那么严重了，因为我当时在运动。

Not so much in high school, I wasn't, because I was and I did play sports.

所以即使我，你知道，体型不是最好的。

So even though I was, you know, not in the greatest body shape.

到了二十多岁，我开始对健康和健身产生热情。

And then I, in my twenties, I started to just start get a passion for health and fitness.

我当时就想，好吧，我明白了。

And I was like, okay, I got it.

然后我开始更多地锻炼，去上各种课程，做所有这些事。

And then And then started to work out more and go to classes and do all that stuff.

大学三年级时，我决定开始学习运动医学。

And then junior year in college, decided to start studying sports medicine.

所以我就是以这种方式进入这个领域的。

So I just got into it that way.

在二十多岁的时候，我逐渐养成了一个非常好的习惯，让自己保持健康。

And then in through my twenties, I was able to kind of get on a really good routine of, you know, getting myself healthy.

嗯。

Mhmm.

减掉了我不想要的多余体重。

Losing the extra weight that I didn't wanna have.

我拿到了个人训练师的执照或认证，所有这些。

Got my personal training license and or certification and all that stuff.

所以这一切就是从这里开始的。

And so that's kinda where my that all started.

如果那样的话，嗯。

If that Mhmm.

这回答了你的问题。

Answers your question.

我还有更多问题要问你。

I've got more questions for you.

相信我。

Trust me.

好的。

Okay.

所以那时有一种青少年的焦虑，你觉得自己格格不入。

So so there was this angst, the teenage angst, and you didn't really feel like you fit in.

当时特别关注外在美。

Like, was really focused on exterior beauty.

你看着她，因为我记得我妈妈根本不理解锻炼。

You're watching her because I remember my mom, she doesn't understand working out.

她觉得我们都疯了。

She thinks we're all crazy.

我爸爸每天都去健身房，但我妈妈却说：我不懂。

My dad goes to the gym every single day, but my mom, she's like, I don't get it.

这简直是折磨。

This it's torture.

但当我还是孩子的时候，我记得她总在减肥俱乐部，总是称量她的食物。

But I remember her when I was a kid, like, on weight watchers, always weighing her food.

她总是节食，你知道的，而我父母从不评论我的体重。

Like, she was always on dieting, you know, and my parents never said anything about my weight.

但和你一样，在那段尴尬的青春期，我们都又瘦又高，每个孩子都会经历这个阶段。

But same as you, like, that awkward puberty time where we just are gangly and every kid goes through it.

这可能会为你对身体关系的心态奠定基础。

It it can set the foundation for your mindset in terms of your relationship with your body.

然后我在高中和大学期间深陷一些不良习惯，可以说我一度接近厌食症，以及所谓的催吐、暴食症。

And then I dove deep into some bad habits in high school, college, just you know, I would say I bordered on anorexia as well as purging, if you will, bulimia.

直到我生下第一个儿子后，这些问题才真正缓解，因为这些极端的习惯一直萦绕在我心头。

It didn't clear up until after I had my first son, like, because it was always on my mind, like, extreme habits.

你知道，即使我已经经历了这么多起伏，现在感觉已经好了，不再有节食或催吐的习惯，但这些念头始终挥之不去。

You know, it's I ask myself even though I've gone through all these waves and, you know, I'm fine, and I don't feel like I have these habits of restricting or purging, but it's always on my mind.

所以我走的是过度锻炼这条路。

So you went that route of but I so I went into the route of overexercising.

是的。

Yeah.

所以这被称为运动型暴食症，我认为。

So exercise bulimia, I believe is what they call.

就像你找到某种方式来应对一样，没错。

So it's like you find something to cope Yeah.

或者 whatever 它是什么，能让你上瘾。

Or whatever it is to get you.

所以，再次强调，这成了我大脑的囚徒。

So, again, that was prisoner of my brain.

我做得够多了吗？

Did I do enough?

我锻炼得够久了吗？

Have I worked out long enough?

我燃烧了多少卡路里？

How many calories have I burned?

我的意思是，我知道女性都能理解，因为我们都会做类似的事情。

I mean, I know women can relate to this because we all do something like that.

但同样，我觉得在年轻时度过这些阶段很难，但你依然需要一个社群。

But, again, I think to get through some of that, young age, you know, is hard, but even that you just have to have, again, a community.

你必须有一些支持，因为我觉得这才是唯一能帮你度过难关的东西。

You have to have some sort of support because I think that's the only thing that's gonna get you through it.

我一直在想，你必须有社群来帮助你。

That's what I'm just keep thinking of is it's got you gotta have community to help.

嗯。

Mhmm.

当然了。

Oh, absolutely.

人们。

People.

但你知道，再想想你的社群。

The But, you know, and then think about your community.

我有个朋友，她运动过度，可以说是厌食症了。

I had a friend that she was overexercising, I would say anorexic.

她彻底失控了。

She just went off the deep end.

她和朋友去度假时说，我再也不想成为女孩旅行中最胖的那一个了。

She went on vacation with her friends, and she's like, I never wanna be the fattest one at a girl's trip ever again.

她就这样彻底失控了。

And she just, like, went overboard.

我当时就想，天哪。

I was like, holy cow.

她变得瘦骨嶙峋。

Like, she just became thin as a rail.

那么，这些朋友是谁呢？

And, you know, it's who are those friends?

她们是包容的吗？

Are they accepting?

我的意思是，你显然非常健康、身材很好。

I mean, you're you're obviously very fit and in great shape.

我敢肯定，如果你和不同体型的女性一起去度假，这正是了解每个人的经历和他们本质的好时机。

I'm sure if you went on vacation with a woman who, you know, of all sizes, it's a time to really learn about everybody's experiences and who they are at their core.

没有什么比感到被评判更糟糕的了。

There's nothing worse than feeling that you are being judged.

我认为很多时候，我们误以为自己正被评判，但实际上人们并没有那么在意我们穿什么、长什么样。

And I think a lot of times we project that we're being judged even though we're not being judged because people don't really care about us that much to think that much about what we wear, what we look like.

你更在意的是自己。

You're more worried about yourself.

没错。

Right.

我经常对我孩子这么说，当他们担心时，我会说：相信我。

And I I tell that to my kids all the time when they worry about I said, believe me.

别人对你的关注远没有你想象的那么多。

People aren't thinking about you as much as you think you're think they're thinking about you.

他们都在自己的世界里，担心着自己的事。

They're in their own worlds worrying about themselves.

他们根本不会把精力放在你身上。

They're not putting the energy into you.

所以，做你自己就好。

So just do your thing.

对自己所处的状态保持自信。

Be confident with where you're at.

我觉得这是同样的道理。

And I think it's the same thing.

是的。

Yes.

我们女性彼此比较，我认为这正是问题的根源，年轻女孩们也需要明白：女性需要改变。

You us women compare each other, and I think this is what it goes back to, which these young girls need as well, is women need to change.

我们才是那个需要改变的人，当然不是所有女性，但我们现在就在这里。

We are the ones that need to just not not all women, obviously, but we're here.

我们必须作为一个整体，学会爱和接纳他人本来的样子，互相鼓励、友善相待、彼此支持，而不是互相比较。

We have to, as a unit, learn to love and accept people as they are and empower each other and be kind to each other and serve each other and not compare.

我想我刚才想说的是‘不要竞争’。

Not not compete is the word I guess I was looking for.

这有点像我们常说的‘女性运动’。

That's kind of like we always talk about, like a women's movement.

这正是我们需要的。

That's what we need.

我们真的需要更多这样的东西。

We really need more of that.

这就是为什么，当我的孩子们成长时，我一直在想，我该做些什么呢？我待在家里抚养了他们二十多年。

That's why, you know, when my kids were growing up and I was looking for what am I going to do as far as I stayed home and raised them for twenty some odd years.

我该做些什么呢？

What am I going to do?

我想成为更大事业的一部分。

I want to be a part of something that's bigger.

我想成为一项服务他人、传递光明、让我充满热情的事业的开端。

I want to be a start of something that is serving people, bringing light, something I'm passionate about.

所以，我感到自己与Savvy产生了共鸣，心想：让我们把这一切都展现给世界吧。

And so this is where I I felt I fell with savvy and it's like, let's let's put that all out to the world.

我们现在都需要一点善意。

We all need we all need a little bit of goodness right now.