嘲笑性取向为地质的、灰发和隐形墨水

不好意思。

Sorry.

我想吃点蛋白质。

I want my protein.

我真想吃点蛋白质。

I want my protein.

不过说实话，我上个周末过得可真够疯狂的，看了《体育画报》。

But, yeah, I I had a crazy Sports Illustrated weekend.

那些女孩都特别棒。

It all the girls are awesome.

这真不错。

That's really nice.

听说汉娜加入了姐妹会，却一直没告诉我们。

It was giving, like, Hannah joined a sorority and she didn't tell any of us.

她之前还说要去另一所学校呢。

And she's just like she said she was going to one school.

她其实转到了另一个不同的社团。

She actually transferred one to a different one.

她现在有了全新的朋友。

She has all new friends.

我一直觉得自己好像进了姐妹会。

Look, I kept going around being like, I feel like I'm in a sorority.

我觉得所有女生都经历过姐妹会，她们都一副习以为常的样子。

And I feel like all the girls had been in a sorority and they're like, okay.

可我从来没进过姐妹会。

And I'm like, I've never been in a sorority.

对啊。

Yeah.

你就是感受到了女性之间的那种情谊。

It was like you feeling female friendship.

这个周末，我简直成了最典型的女生闺蜜。

I literally like was the biggest girls girl this weekend.

是的。

Yeah.

但你看看Instagram上，总觉得他们都在装朋友，好像个个都特别要好。

But you know you see it on Instagram and you're like, they're all, like, pretending to be friends or, like, they're all friends.

但如果我真加入了那个圈子，我不确定自己能不能融入。

But if I was part of the group, I don't know if I would mesh.

真的特别开心。

It was so fun.

我和阿洛娜·马还假装自己是亚历克斯·尔的保镖。

Like, Alona Mar and I were pretending we were Alex Earl's bodyguards.

对。

Mhmm.

我们还真想出一个超棒的商业点子。

We actually we thought of an incredible business idea.

你知道吗，当人身边跟着保镖时，那感觉特别明显，还把气氛全毁了。

So you know when people have bodyguards, it's, like, really obvious and also ruins the vibe.

不管你在科切拉玩得多开心，我都觉得没必要。

Like, I don't care how much fun you're having in Coachella.

那个穿着全套西装、满头大汗的男人，干嘛站在科切拉中间呢？

Why is that, like, man who's clearly sweating because he's in a full tuxedo Mhmm.

他为什么会在科切拉正中间？

Standing in the middle of Coachella?

我就想，咱们得找些 undercover 的保镖，就找身材强壮的女生。

So I was like, we need undercover bodyguards that are just really strong girls.

对。

Mhmm.

要是有男人上去搭讪，你就直接挡在前面。

And when a guy tries to talk to the girl, you just go in front.

你上去问：你干嘛跟她搭话？

You go, why are you talking to her?

那是我朋友，她想跟你聊吗？

That's my friend's does she wanna talk to you?

对。

Mhmm.

你就故意闹出点动静，那个女孩完全是无辜的。

And you just, like, cause a scene, and the other girl's innocent.

她根本什么都不知道。

She's, like, doesn't even know.

所以我觉得从今以后，干脆找一群女橄榄球运动员当保镖。

So I think we should just get a bunch of female rugby players to be bodyguards from now on.

我觉得这个主意非常聪明。

I think it's an extremely smart idea.

因为我觉得，那些男人能怎么办呢？

Because, like, I feel like it's I don't what are the men gonna do?

难道要跟冲过来的疯女人打架吗？

Like, fight a crazy girl who comes running up?

不可能。

No.

让那些女橄榄球手来处理吧。

Let the rugby girls handle it.

再没有什么比这更让男人反感的了。

And there's nothing men dislike more.

我觉得当一个女孩

I feel like when a girl

抢了他们的活儿。

Takes their job.

没错。

Yep.

我本来想说，就是随便聊两句。

I was gonna say just, like, talks.

比如，有个女孩的朋友走过来开始搭话，他们就立马不耐烦了。

Like, it's been like a girl's friend, like, comes up and starts talking, they're like, no.

你懂的。

You know?

每个人都有那种死活不让人跟别人好好说话的朋友。

Everyone has that friend that will not let anyone talk to anyone in the best way.

她就说，我来搞定他。

Like, she's like, I'll handle him.

是的。

Yeah.

我来搞定他。

I'll handle him.

不好意思。

Excuse me.

这里不欢迎你。

Nobody wants you here.

你没发现大家都讨厌你吗？

Nobody want do do you notice it?

走吧。

Get out.

你就只是说，是啊。

And you're just like Yeah.

每个群体里都有那么一个女孩，你一看到她就心想，这事交给她准没错。

Every group has that one girl that you're like, oh, you do it.

你看到凯莉·詹纳、蒂莫西·查拉梅、肯德尔·詹纳和雅各布·贝洛迪那张狗仔拍的照片了吗？

Did you see the paparazzi picture of Kylie Jenner, Timothee Chalamet, Kendall Jenner, and Jacob Belordi?

没有。

No.

我只看到了雅各布·贝洛迪和肯德尔在海边大口灌整瓶桃红葡萄酒的照片。

I just saw the one of Jacob Belordi and Kendall Kendall chugging a full bottle of rose on the

在海滩上。

beach.

就是那张。

See that one.

她手里还拿着一瓶完整的桃红葡萄酒。

She's, like, holding a full bottle of rose.

这四个人全都在一辆SUV里，像是刚从哪儿离开。

This was like all four of them in, like, an SUV, like, leaving somewhere.

其实是Steph发给我的，发的是Instagram什么的，她说我觉得你肯定会喜欢这个。

And it was actually, Steph texted it to me and, like, the Instagram or whatever, and she was like, I feel like you would just love this.

我特别喜欢明星们聚在一起干些明星该干的事，尤其是那种老派狗仔拍的照片，刚从俱乐部出来那种。

And I love when a list celebrities do a list celebrity things with each other, and I love, like, an old school paparazzi pic, like, just left the club.

他们看起来有点醉醺醺的。

They're, like, a little tipsy.

看着就挺有意思的。

It just looked like fun.

感觉他们玩得特别自在开心。

It looked like they were having wholesome fun.

我真为他们高兴，我还特别喜欢双人约会。

I love that for them, and I love a double date.

我还真想听听他们事后发的短信，互相评价对方的家，房子合不合拍。

And I wish I could hear the text afterwards of, like, what they thought of each other's mans, did the mans get along.

你觉得

Do you

他们是不是在想，天哪。

think they're like, oh my god.

我们以前约会的都是说唱歌手和运动员，现在却开始追求

We used to date, like, rappers and athletes, and now we're conquering

艺术圈的人。

the arts.

艺术家男性。

The artist men.

艺术家，我

Artist I

想知道蒂莫西和雅各布·埃尔诺迪会不会

wonder if, like, Timothy and Jacob Elordi are

互相较劲？

Competitive with each other?

是的。

Yeah.

你觉得，会不会其实有一种潜意识的想法，比如蒂莫西觉得自己是个更认真的演员？

Like, do you think that there's, like, a under underlying like, I would see that I would think that Timothy thinks that he's more of a serious actor.

我也觉得男生真的挺傻的。

I also feel like boys are so dumb.

男生就是，他们大概只是觉得两个人都是男生而已。

Like, boys are just, like they probably just like that they're both boys.

社会并没有让他们

Society doesn't make them

彼此竞争。

Compete against each other.

彼此竞争。

Compete against each other.

他们其实完全可以同时拿很多奖。

They can actually both win a bunch of awards.

每个人都有足够的空间。

There's enough room for everyone.

但如果他们俩都在跟女演员交往，那就变成谁更成功了。

Where if they both were dating girl actresses, it would be like, who's my successful?

谁更成功？

Successful?

我是说，乔纳斯兄弟？

I mean, the Jonas Brothers?

他们简直把那个组合里的所有女人都给比下去了。

They literally took apart all the women in that group.

是的。

Yeah.

天哪。

Oh my god.

你还记得乔·乔纳斯跟索菲·特纳结婚那会儿吗？

Remember when Joe Jonas was married to Sophie Turner?

这感觉简直像一场高烧中的幻梦。

That feels like a real fever dream.

凯莎最近宣布了一个新词，叫‘geosexual’。

There's a new thing that Kesha announced called geosexual.

你听说过这个说法吗？

Are you familiar with this?

我没听过。

I'm not.

意思是

It's when

只在某些国家才发生亲密关系。

you only have sex in certain countries.

她说，只有在意大利的时候才会那样。

So she says she only has sex when she's in Italy.

太上瘾了。

Obsessed.

太着迷了。

Obsessed.

就像只在意大利吃面包一样。

It's like it's like only eating bread in Italy.

她就只懂这个。

She only understands.

我听过的最经典的事了。

The most iconic thing I've ever heard.

对啊。

I know.

没错。

I know.

我真想成为那样的人，但说实话，我哪儿都不想去，就只想待在床上。

I feel like I wanna be that, but it's like my my place is my bed.

等等。

Wait.

我真的很为她感到高兴。

I love that so much for her.

她是认真的吗？

Was she being serious?

我不知道。

I don't know.

那只是句引语，但我感觉这特别像是三十岁的人会做的事。

It was just a quote, but I feel like that's so something you do in your thirties.

到了这个时候，你就会觉得……

You're like, at this point.

对，就是现在。

At this yeah.

照这么下去，我干脆直接选个国家吧。

At this rate, I'm just gonna pick which country.

到这一步，你得抓住我才行。

At this juncture, you gotta catch me.

我想不出意大利罗马有哪个地方。

I couldn't think of one place in Italy, in Rome.

本集的支持来自Square，我去的大部分地方都在用它。

Support for today's episode comes from Square, the system powering like half the places I go.

到目前为止，我们已经把Giggly Squad做成了一个完整的生意。

We've built Giggly Squad into a full business at this point.

连我们自己都觉得难以置信。

I know even we can't believe it.

从播客、周边商品到巡演，方方面面都忙得不可开交。

Between the podcast, merch, touring, everything, there's a lot of moving parts.

我们学到的一点是，你可以很混乱，但你的生意不能乱。

And there's one thing we've learned, it's that you can be chaotic, but your business cannot be.

用Square，商家就能专心做那些有趣的事——创作、打造产品、现身现场。

With Square, it helps business owners focus on the fun parts, creating things, building something, showing up.

只要你走进一家店，感觉人家井井有条，那八成是在用Square。

With Square, if you walk into a business and you just know they have their life together, they're probably using Square.

你只要一刷卡，立刻就完成了。

All you have to do is tap your card and it's instant.

他们的系统里早就存着你的信息了。

They already have your info.

收据自动弹出来，整个过程特别顺滑。

The receipt just appears, and everything is seamless.

一旦你注意到了Square，就会发现咖啡馆、美发店、精品店到处都是它。

Once you notice Square, you'll notice it everywhere at coffee shops, salons, boutiques.

这很合理，因为Square其实默默支撑着所有后台操作。

And it makes sense because Square basically runs everything behind the scenes.

它不只是处理付款。

It's not just payments.

库存、线上订单、预约安排、团队管理、报表，全都集成在一个地方。

It's inventory, online orders, scheduling, team management, reports, all in one place.

所以老板不用再在五个不同的App之间来回切换，还费劲地让它们互相通信，一切都被自动处理好了。

So instead of business owners juggling five different apps and trying to make them all talk to each other, It's just handled.

后台的重要性，远比大多数人想的要大。

The back end matters so much more than people think.

我们可能不是最井井有条的，但Square把其他所有事都安排得妥妥的。

We may not always be the most organized, but Square keeps everything else under control.

你根本不需要IT团队，也不用懂会计，虽然我们总觉得Grace两样都精通。

You don't need an IT team or a degree in accounting, although we do feel like Grace has both.

尤其是我们巡演的时候，Square的作用简直太关键了。

And especially when we were on tour, Square was so much more important.

如果你刚创业，或者正在经营一家需要更好工具的生意，Square能帮你轻松销售、管理和扩张，还不拖后腿。

So if you're starting a business or running one that deserves better tools, Square helps you sell, manage, and grow without slowing down.

现在登录 square.com/go/giggly，购买Square硬件最高可减200美元。

Right now, you can get up to $200 off Square hardware at square.com/go/giggly.

就是 square.com/go/giggly。

That's square.com/go/giggly.

用Square，让生意运转得更聪明。

Run your business smarter with Square.

现在就开始吧。

Get started today.

我有个问题，整个周末都在想，因为我有自己的最爱，但我想知道你是不是也一样。

Just one question because I was wondering this all weekend because I have my favorite, but I wanna see if we have the same one.

这周你所有穿搭中，

Of all your outfits this week

我们觉得刚才这段过得太快了。

We feel like we passed this too quickly.

这个周末你所有穿搭里，最喜欢的是哪一套？

Of all your outfits this weekend, which one was your favorite?

问得好。

Great question.

我也想说说我觉得你最喜欢的是哪一套。

And I would also like to say what I think your favorite was.

出乎意料的是，我最喜欢的是那件迈克尔·科尔斯的绿色斗篷。

So surprisingly, my favorite was the green cape Michael Kors.

哇。

Wow.

因为我差点都没试穿。

Because I almost didn't even try it on.

对。

Mhmm.

我当时想，得显出腰线，不然看起来像怀孕了。

I was like, I need to show my waist or I feel like I look pregnant.

我喜欢那种贴身又带弹性的衣服。

Like, I have to show I have to I like things that are kinda tight and stretchy.

对。

Mhmm.

我试完之后说，我看起来像个很有意思的阿姨。

And I tried it on and I said, I look like an interesting aunt.

我看起来像个有钱的阿姨。

I looked like a wealthy Mhmm.

度假回来的那位欧洲姨妈。

Aunt coming in between her European vacations.

对。

Mhmm.

我当时就觉得，那几天的穿搭风格变化真大。

And I just felt like I I do think the weekend there was a lot of range.

我想每套衣服都体现出不同的个性。

I wanted each outfit to be like a different personality.

是的。

Yeah.

我觉得你做到了。

You I think you gave it.

你营造出了完全不同的感觉。

You gave a different vibe.

这很重要，因为这样一来，你还得换发型。

And that's important because then you have to switch up your hair.

我们都清楚，换发型有多让你头疼。

And we all know how stressed you get about switching up your hair.

我觉得我知道你最喜欢哪套衣服。

I think I know what your favorite outfit was.

是哪一套？

What was it?

要不你来说说？

Do you wanna say it?

我最喜欢的是周日那套青绿色，或者说是浅蓝色的那套。

My favorite was the Sunday turquoise set or, like, light blue set.

对。

Yeah.

我特别喜欢那套。

I love that.

我还以为你最喜欢的是那套黑色薄纱呢，因为我也很喜欢那套。

I thought your favorite was gonna be the black sheer because I really like that too.

我最喜欢的是那件黑色薄纱裙。

My thing is the black sheer, like, a black dress.

我看过它无数次了。

I've seen it a million times.

我真的特别喜欢。

I loved it.

我特别喜欢。

I loved it.

但我喜欢给人惊喜。

But it's I want I want I like surprising people.

我想尝试些新的搭配。

I wanna come up with new shit.

问题是那套西装太紧了。

The problem with that the suit the set suit set tight.

你把它扯坏了？

And you ripped it?

哦，是啊。

Oh, yeah.

我给忘了。

I forgot.

因为我刚给你发消息说这是我的最爱穿搭，紧接着就翻到下一张图，结果是你把裙子撕了，然后把运动衫系在腰上。

Because right when I DM'd you and I I said this is my favorite outfit, I then naturally went to the next slide, and it was you having a sweatshirt tied around your waist that you'd ripped the skirt.

好消息是，她一整天都挺好的。

The good news is that she was good all day.

对。

Mhmm.

问题是，像SUV这种车，嗯。

The problem with, like, SUV cars Mhmm.

你得抬脚才能跨进去。

Is that you have to, like, step up into them.

我刚上车的时候，那天刚开始，心想：哎呀，这后背怕是要被我扯破了。

And when I first went to step in it, I was in the very beginning of the day, I was like, oh, I could totally rip the back of it.

到了一天结束的时候，你真的累了，就觉得终于可以放松了。

And at the end of the day, you know, when you're just done, you're like, I'm ready.

我得赶紧去拉瓜迪亚机场赶飞机了。

I gotta go get my flight in LaGuardia, apparently.

我一上优步，屁股刚坐下去，就感觉背后一撕。

I very quickly jumped in the Uber and just felt the whole backside go.

幸运的是，《体育画报》送了我一件免费的运动衫。

And, thankfully, Sports Illustrated gave me a free sweatshirt.

这倒是种拿周边的方式。

And that's one way to get merch.

我就把它围在腰上，还挺合适。

So I wrapped it around, and it was good.

不过，确实挺倒霉的。

But, yeah, that was that was unfortunate.

但裂口正好在接缝那儿。

But it was by the seam.

这其实很容易就能修好。

It could easily be fixed.

这周末我去参加了一场婚礼。

I went to a wedding this weekend.

婚礼怎么样？

How was it?

挺好的。

It was nice.

我看了看。

I look.

要是没点小麻烦，那就不像我了。

It's not me if I don't have one problem or another.

总得有哪儿痒啊、挤啊、不舒服的。

Like, something is going to be itching me, irritating me, squeezing me.

反正我总会挑出点问题来。

Like, I'm gonna have an issue.

对。

Mhmm.

你看。

And look.

首先你看。

First of all look.

我知道要去参加婚礼，要去参加那种时间很长的社交活动，我就一定会吃一片β，我就是这么个人。

Me knowing I'm going to a wedding and, like, going to, like, a social event that's, like, a long period of time, I'm gonna pop a beta because I just am.

你知道吗？

Like, you know what?

这没什么好丢脸的。

There's no shame in it.

我就要吃一片β。

Like, I'm just I'm gonna pop a beta.

所以我吃一片，感觉就很好。

So, like, I pop one, I feel fine.

太好了。

Great.

去参加婚礼吧。

Get to the wedding.

你知道吗？

I'm like, you know what?

我在这场婚礼上过得挺开心的。

I'm having, like, a nice time at this wedding.

这场婚礼在很多细微的地方都特别意大利风，让我感觉特别自在。

Also, this wedding was so Italian in so many subtle ways that I felt just, like, comfortable.

我现在状态很好。

So I'm like feeling myself.

我很喜欢我的裙子。

I really like my dress.

我真的玩得很开心。

I'm like I'm having a good time.

他们的

Their

鸡尾酒时间有奇科和蜜瓜。

cocktail There's hour Chico and Melon.

鸡尾酒时间太棒了。

Cocktail hour was phenomenal.

我真想着要喝上几杯鸡尾酒。

I'm just like really I'm like I'm gonna have a couple cocktails.

放着弗兰克·辛纳屈的歌。

Frank Sinatra's playing.

他们请了

They had

一位现场的弗兰克·辛纳屈。

a Frank Sinatra in person.

他们

They

请来了弗兰克·辛纳屈本人。

had a Frank Sinatra in person.

如果意大利人不够稳定，那

And if the Italians aren't consistent, it

就是特别舒服的氛围。

was just like good vibes.

我们坐了个好位置。

We had a good table.

每个人都在享受这美好时光。

Like, everyone's having a good time.

现金装在信封里。

Cash in envelopes.

好多现金装在信封里。

So many cash in envelopes.

我真的一下子就想到，我

I literally was like, I

我压根儿不知道现在还有人用现金。

I didn't even know there was cash anymore.

我当时就想，这种场景我只在电影里见过，真的。

I was like, I've only seen this in movies, guys.

我从来没见过这种场面。

Like, I've never seen this before.

甜点桌太壮观了。

Cookie table, tremendous.

都堆到天花板了。

To the ceiling.

婚礼进行到一半，我就觉得裙子有点紧。

So, like, halfway through the wedding, I'm like, oh, my dress is, like, tight.

其实我知道裙子本来就紧，上身还是紧身胸衣设计。

Like, I knew it was, like, tight and the top was, like, corseted.

明白吧？

Okay?

我当时

I was

穿着一条黑色的Helsa中长裙，上半身特别紧致。

wearing this, like, black Helsa, like, midi dress, and the top was, like, very structured.

腰线那里收得特别紧，像束腰一样，然后下面又挺括地垂下去。

And then it, like, cinched at my waist, like, corset, and then it went, like, structured down.

但试穿和改尺寸的时候，其实还挺合适的。

But, like, when I was trying it on and getting it fitted, like, it was fine.

早上穿的时候。

In the morning.

我就坐在那儿好几个小时。

So I'm sitting there for a couple hours.

我已经吃了三四个意大利饺子了。

I'm three raviolis deep.

那可是鼠尾草配黄油的口味，宝贝。

And this was sage and butter, baby.

这分量可真重。

This was heavy.

里面的乳清奶酪特别多。

The ricotta was ricotta ing.

我当时就觉得，天啊，肚子疼得厉害。

And I'm like, woah, my stomach is like really hurting.

我真的不想再吃了，就跟乔说：你看，你朋友在这儿，我也乐意陪你玩。

I really like, I don't and I said to Joe, I was like, look, this is like your friends and like, I'm down to have a fun time.

你想走随时都可以走。

Like, we can go home when ever you want.

他完全同意。

And he was like, totally.

随便吧。

Like, whatever.

到了十一点半，我就想：赶紧走人。

So it's like 11:30, and I'm like, I gotta get the fuck out.

派对结束的时候，你简直像变了个人似的。

You're a completely different person by the end of the party than the beginning of the

我正在数呼吸，因为快喘不上气了。

am counting my breaths because I'm losing air.

你有没有过

Do you ever

就躲在洗手间隔间里待着？

just sit in the bathroom stall?

我参加婚礼的时候就常这么干。

I do that at weddings.

我当时就想着，把裙子拉链拉开吧。

Well, I got to the point where I was like, unzip my dress.

就直接把拉链拉开。

Like, just unzip my dress.

我管不了那么多了。

I don't care.

所以我把裙子拉链拉开了，然后看着他，说：我真得回家了。

Like, so I unzipped my dress, and then I looked at him and I said, I actually have to go home.

于是我叫了车，半夜就走了，我简直开心死了，一上车就把裙子彻底脱了下来。

So I actually called the car now, and we left at midnight, and I couldn't have been more happy to I took the dress truly off in the car.

我实在受不了了。

I couldn't do it.

我刚才在想婚礼上的洗手间。

I was thinking about the bathroom at weddings.

如果你在婚礼上躲进隔间坐着，那儿才是八卦中心。

If you just sit in the bathroom stall at weddings, that's where all the gossip is happening.

每个人都有自己的看法。

Like, everyone has an opinion.

大家都在背后议论家里的某个人。

Everyone's talking shit about someone in the family.

真是够疯狂的。

It's crazy.

没错。

Totally.

这才是我想听的播客。

That's the podcast I wanna listen to.

不是。

No.

我没在那儿坐很久，但确实待了几秒，想着要是直接去停车场会怎么样。

The I didn't sit in there a long time, but I did sit there for a second and contemplate, like, what if I went out into the parking lot?

你觉得有人会这么做吗？

Do you think anyone would?

有一刻，我看了眼琼。

At one point, I looked at Joan.

我当时想，要不干脆去车里坐着吧。

I was like, I might just go sit in the car.

当你只是婚礼的宾客时，确实如此。

Well, when you're not when you're just a friend of the wedding, you're like Totally.

没人会的。

Nobody's gonna.

我是说，他们这简直是在办小学二年级最好朋友的全班重聚。

Nobody's I'm like, they're having a full reunion of, like, their second grade best friend.

我觉得自己在这儿就是个配角。

And I'm like, I'm a side character here.

对。

Mhmm.

我悄悄溜走，根本没人会发现。

No one would know if I slipped out.

绝对。

100%.

还有一段视频，是婚礼上一个女孩在跳蠕虫舞，大家都转发给我，就是那种伴娘和新郎伴娘之类的场合。

There's also a video of a girl doing the worm that everyone's sending to me at a wedding where, like, you know, the bridesmaid and groom bridesmaid, whatever.

首席伴娘。

Maid of honor.

就只是伴娘。

Just the bridesmaids.

就只是伴娘。

Just the bridesmaids.

伴娘。

Bridesmaids.

那男生的对应角色叫什么？

And who's the what's the male version?

男生。

Men.

新郎伴郎。

Grooms men.

明白了。

Okay.

我们到了。

We got there.

你们是伴郎。

You're brides men.

但我们总算到了。

But we got there.

是的。

Yeah.

有伴娘也有伴郎，他们进场的时候还跳了段舞。

There's the brides girls and the brides boys, and they're walking in, and they're doing a little dance.

然后有个女孩转身做了个波浪舞。

And then one girl, she turns and she goes to the worm.

我当时心想，这姑娘真是说到我心坎里了。

And I said, a woman by my own heart.

对。

Mhmm.

她做波浪舞的时候，裙子后背突然就裂开了，真的撕开了。

As she does the worm, the back of her dress pops, like, literally rips

露出来了。

out.

她们穿的是短裙吗？

Were they wearing short dresses?

不是。

No.

但你知道吗，裙子后面那种开叉的设计？

But it was, like, the you know how the back of the dress has, like, a slit?

是的。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

没错。

Yeah.

于是她开始做蠕虫舞。

So she starts doing the worm.

那条开衩一直升到很高。

The slit goes all the way up.

她里面只穿了丁字裤，正面对着整个婚礼现场。

She's fully wearing a thong, and she's facing the entire wedding.

她一跳起来，裤子就露出来了，所有人都惊呼起来。

And when she starts doing it, it pops and everyone exclaims.

大家全都喊：‘哇哦！’

They all go, woah.

她自己心里可能还觉得：我这 worm 跳得太棒了。

And she probably in her head is like, I'm killing it with this worm right now.

天啊，这简直像病毒式传播一样。

Oh, my It's like going viral,

但我想，应该没有吧。

but I guess No.

这种事怎么就没传开呢

How does that not come

摆到我桌面上？

across my desk?

大家都说，她真是英雄。

Everyone's like, she's a hero.

她太厉害了。

Like, she's she's amazing.

所以我们要向她致敬，她是本周的STEM女性榜样。

So shout out to she's our woman of STEM of the week.

是的。

Yeah.

说实话，我佩服那些心里想着‘对，我就要现在停下跳个蠕虫舞’的人。

Honestly, I give credit to anyone who in their head was like, yeah.

我敢说，要是换我，光是那份自信就足以让我紧张得说不出话。

I'm gonna stop and do the worm right now because the confidence, they I would let I would choke.

我以前在很多场合都跳过。

And I've done it in many address.

是的

Yeah.

你已经在国家电视台表演过了。

You've done it on national television.

你还在无线电城音乐厅表演过。

You've done it at you've done it at Radio City Music Hall.

唯一的区别是我从来不穿丁字裤，所以好多次都走光了。

The only difference is I I don't wear thongs, so I have flashed the audience many a time.

你都看腻了。

You're so sick of it.

你心里肯定在想：怎么又来。

You're like, not again.

但他们只看到一条汉斯牌内裤。

But they just see some Hanes underwear.

也没什么大不了的。

It's nothing too exciting.

没什么特别的。

Nothing too exciting.

其实这周你两次被评为“女性STEM人物周度亚军”，因为佩吉给我发了人生第一封隐形墨水信。

Actually, you're also Women of STEM of the Week runner-up twice this week because Paige sent me her first ever message in invisible ink.

我还以为出人命了。

I thought there was a murder.

我当时就想，这事儿以前从没发生过。

I was like, this has never happened before.

我根本没回她。

I don't even respond to it.

我就问，谁教你怎么弄这个的？

I go, who taught you how to do that?

其实呢，我不用隐形墨水给你发消息，是因为你是唯一一个——我这话是发自内心的。

Well, do you wanna know I don't send you text messages with invisible ink because you're the only person that, like and I'm saying it with my chest.

就让他们看见好了。

And, like, let them see it.

比如，你会想，汉娜会告诉谁呢？

Like go, who's Hannah gonna tell?

我当时就在想，汉娜会告诉谁呢？

I'm like Who's Hannah gonna tell?

我就觉得，她也没别的可以聊这个话题的朋友了。

I'm like, she has no other friends that she's talking to this about.

不过你当时在《体育画报》的周末活动上，而我呢，就是想做个贴心闺蜜。

But you were at Sports Illustrated weekend, and I, like, I'm I'm trying to be a girl's girl.

所以，我是不会随便把八卦告诉那些我信不过的人的。

And so, like, I'm not gonna just, like, give gossip to some person that I don't

说不定有人正盯着我看呢。

could be looking over my shoulder.

对。

Right.

没错。

Right.

所以

So

哎，你听说了吗？

Well, have to Lil, did you know?

我根本不知道手机在哪儿，所以没人能看见。

I had no idea where my phone was, so no one was gonna see it.

说得对。

Great.

我就是这个意思。

My point exactly.

我最不想看到的就是佩吉·德索博的名字蹦出来，那条消息简直刺眼到不行。

Like, the last thing I need is, like, Paige Desorbo's name popping up, and it's just, like, the most scathing text.

没带手机反而有种自由感，而且这根本不是你的错。

But there's such a freedom of not having your phone and it not even being your fault.

你想想，这完全是天意。

You're like, that was the universe.

他们不希望我拥有它。

They don't want me to have it.

但现在别人给我发消息，我也看不到内容。

But I when people text me now, it you can't see what they're saying.

就显示一条新消息。

It just says new message.

哦，对啊。

Oh, right.

没错。

Right.

不是的。

No.

其实我也是这样。

I mean, I have that too.

是的。

Yeah.

没有。

No.

我也是这样。

I have that too.

这太离谱了。

That's crazy.

这太离谱了。

That's crazy.

是的。

Yeah.

哈里·斯泰尔斯的新巡演。

Harry Styles' new tour.

他打了个领带。

He's wearing a tie.

看来现在没人能有原创的想法了。

Apparently, no one can have an original thought anymore.

现在你看到的，都是些普通的上班族走在街上

Now you see just, like, average businessmen walking down

大街上。

the street.

你心里就想，得了吧，各位。

You're like, okay, guys.

领带。

Ties.

给女孩子一点认可吧。

Give a girl credit.

也给我一点认可吧。

Give me credit.

到这会儿，都像是在作秀了。

It's, like, kind of performative at this point.

人们对他巡演有意见，是因为演出布置太夸张了，有一部分原因就在这儿。

People are mad at his tour because there's, like, part of the setup because they do these crazy setups.

对。

Mhmm.

场地设计成弧形，结果一些VIP观众根本看不到舞台，完全是布局的问题。

It has, like, a curve, and some VIP people couldn't see anything because of, like, the way they designed the tour floor.

行。

K.

很明显，这事儿没让女性参与过决策。

So clearly, there wasn't a woman's touch involved.

他算是我们这代的摇滚巨星吗？

Is he, like, our, like, rock star?

你想到我们这一代人的时候，会把他算在内吗？

You think of, like, our generation?

我觉得他更像个小鲜肉。

I think he's he's, like, a heartthrob.

我不觉得他是摇滚巨星。

I wouldn't say rock star.

是的。

Yeah.

我们这儿有谁是摇滚巨星吗？

Do we have any rock stars?

我不清楚。

I don't know.

但挺有意思的是，每当我跟真正懂行的人在一起时——当然，你不算在内。

But it's so funny because anytime I'm around anyone truly, and I except you.

我就说，唉，我真不懂哈利·斯泰尔斯为啥这么火。

And I say, like, oh, I don't really get the Harry Styles.

我觉得他长得挺帅，歌也确实好听，挺上头的。

Like, I think he's cute, and I think that, like, a lot of his songs are very catchy.

但对我来说，完全感受不到那种心动的感觉。

But for me, I don't get the heartthrob vibe.

我也说不好。

I don't know.

我觉得他更像是我朋友群里那个男生

I feel like he's more like, oh, that's a guy friend in my group,

就是个朋友。

a friend.

百分百。

A 100.

他给我的感觉就是这样。

That's the vibe he gives to me.

跟他出去玩肯定特别开心

Like, he'd be a great time to, like, go out with hang

和One Direction一起出去玩。

out with for One Direction.

是的。

Yeah.

也许就是这样。

Maybe that's it.

尤其是接下来我要聊的这个话题。

Especially with the topic I'm about to talk about next.

说吧。

Drop it.

我们该怎么处理头上的白发呢？

What are we doing with our gray hairs?

因为这答案绝对是‘不行’。

Because this is a no.

我是认真的在问这个问题。

Like, this is a serious question.

我有些女性朋友会染发，因为她们觉得白发太显眼了。

I have some girlfriends that dye their hair because they're like my grays.

对。

Mhmm.

而且挺简单的。

And it's easy.

我那些金发的朋友，我根本不用问，她们一直在染发。

My blondes, I don't even ask them because they're dying all the time.

她们根本不用操心这事儿。

They're like, don't even have to deal with that.

你是说她们一直在染头发，不是说她们快死了吧？我其实想说的是……

Does that sound They're they've been dying their hair, not like they're I actually

我当时就想：等等，你说啥？

was like, wait, what?

她们经常染发，所以根本看不出有白发。

They're dying their hair all the time, so they don't really have

或者就算有，染成金色后也看不出来。

to Or if deal they do, I don't think you could see it against the blonde.

对。

Right.

而且她们本来就想保持那个颜色。

And also, like, wanna be that color.

他们有时候真的会发疯。

They're like they get crazy sometimes.

每次播客，金发群体都在收容流浪者。

The blonde community just catching strays every podcast.

不是的。

No.

金发人士过得挺不容易的，因为他们脑子里总想着一件事。

The blondes have a tough go of it because they get this thing in their head.

他们被自己的金发给操控了。

They they get manipulated by their own blondness.

总觉得自己的金发不够金。

And they're like, I'm not blonde enough.

然后就会说，哦，对啊。

And then like Oh, yeah.

如果你有个金发朋友正在慢慢染成深色，你得陪着她度过这个阶段。

If you have a blonde friend and she's starting the transition to brunette, you have to be you have to be there for them.

我最喜欢看金发女生从铂金色改回自然金发的样子，那时候我都会惊呼：天哪。

My favorite thing to do with blondes is when they go from platinum to, like, just normal blonde, I go, oh my god.

你染成深棕色后看起来真好看。

You look so good brunette.

然后她就开始崩溃了。

And then they spiral.

而且。

And

别人会觉得你比我温柔。

people think you're nicer than me.

我明白金发女生转型时有多敏感。

I know the sensitivity you have to have with a blonde who's transitioning.

这真的特别痛苦。

It's really painful.

你得时刻盯着她。

You gotta watch them.

如果她们在转型期间有人说了什么，她们可能会把你的房子给烧了。

They'll burn your house down if they're transitioning and someone says something.

不过你知道吗，人们从来不谈一件事。

Do you know what people don't talk about though?

有些深色头发的人只加了几缕高光，回头一看，你原来完全是金发。

Brunettes who get a couple highlights and you don't realize looking back, you were fully blonde.

我二十多岁的时候是金发，没人告诉我，结果看起来糟透了。

I was blonde in my twenties and no one told me and it looked like shit.

是的。

Yeah.

你那时候真的很金发。

You were pretty blonde

有一阵子。

at one point.

金发。

Blonde.

是的。

Yeah.

我只是进去说想挑几缕高光，结果你猜怎么着。

And I just went in asking for a highlight and next thing you know

因为对你来说，最棒的事就是渐变色了，因为你根本没什么发根问题。

Well, because the best thing that ever happened to you was ombre because you were no root situation.

对。

Yeah.

我随时都可以做。

I'll do it all day long.

渐变色改变了我的发色？

Ombre changed my Ombre?

渐变色。

Ombre.

那会儿姑娘们都特别喜欢渐变色。

The girls loved ombre.

至于灰发，可以用喷雾，明白吧。

So with the grays, there is a spray Okay.

就是一种染发喷雾。

That you a a dye spray.

选个和你发色一致的。

Get it your color.

你的发色倒是好弄。

Yours is easy.

选黑色或者你平时用的颜色就行。

Get black or whatever your thing is.

深棕色。

Dark brown.

你是什么颜色？

What are you?

很深的深棕色吗？

Dark, dark brown?

我是浓缩咖啡色。

I'm espresso.

也许是浓缩咖啡色。

Maybe espresso.

浓缩咖啡色。

Espresso.

我是卡布奇诺色。

I'm a cappuccino.

你选好颜色之后，真的吗？

You get the color and then you Really?

我用的是栗色喷雾。

I'm spray a chestnut.

好。

Okay.

你呢，我是深红木色。

You're like I'm a a rich mahogany.