比莉·艾利什

我爸妈都特别逗，我妈就是我的全部榜样。

I mean my mom was, was my both of my parents.

天啊，这真是太棒了。

Gosh, this is amazing.

说实话，我从来没聊过这么私密的话题，但现在我简直爱死了这种感觉。

I literally like have never talked about anything in this realm which I'm loving right now already.

我妈以前是Groundlings的演员，天生就特别搞笑，反应快、机智，角色演得特别多，我爸也一样。

I mean my mom was in the groundlings so she is just naturally very funny and very quick and witty and like, has so many characters, and so does my dad.

我爸简直是表情大师。

My dad is like an incredible face maker.

他做表情特别绝，小时候我们俩经常比赛谁做的表情更搞笑。

He makes amazing faces and he and I used to have like face making competitions when we were when I was a little kid.

所以我从小看他们整天逗乐子、哈哈大笑，所有事都能变成段子——对了，菲尼安，他真是个喜剧天才。

And so I would always see them just be funny all the time and all they did was be funny and laugh and all Finneas I mean Finneas, Finneas is like truly a comedic genius.

是啊，他笑话特别棒。

Yeah, he has really good jokes

特别搞笑，一直都是这样。

like really funny like and has been forever.

我今天突然想到，那时候我14岁，他18岁，我们跟唱片公司开会，他全程都在讲笑话，逗得大家笑到不行。

I mean, when we were I was thinking about this today randomly, the way when we were doing meetings with like labels and stuff when I was 14 and he was 18.

他那时候就一直逗乐所有人，我也不知道这习惯打哪儿来的，但我就是特别爱笑，而且——

He was just like cracking jokes for the whole thing and making everybody, you know die laughing so I don't know what it came from I love to laugh so much and I

就像你说的，你一看就懂，这东西是天生的。

just where it came from just as you said like you start to like know what you see.

对啊。

Yeah.

你们家的爱的语言就是笑，还带点小调侃，这在我眼里——

And like the love language at your family was like, laughter, and a little bit of slight teasing which to me is

这才是真爱的表现。

a sign of love.

这简直就是我活着的意义。

That's literally my I live, I live for that.

对我来说，最有意思的事就是互相开玩笑——我调侃别人，也被别人调侃，没有比这更搞笑的了。

I like there's nothing that's funnier to me than being made fun of and making fun of someone else.

对

To

我也觉得，这就是我表达爱的方式，别人也是用这种方式来爱我的

me it's like how I show someone that I love and that that's how love is shown to

啊。

me.

百分百是这样。

A 100%.

但这事真的很有意思，有的家庭完全不会这么相处。

And it is just like some families it's wild some families don't do that.

我到现在都没法理解，居然有人家里从来不会这样开玩笑。

I can't even believe that some people don't do that.

真的有家庭从来不会这么做

Some people don't do that

有时候我觉得，有些人一走进我的生活，我就开始没完没了地拿他们开玩笑，结果他们突然就结束了，我才意识到：哦，原来你家不是这样的。

sometimes like I feel like people enter my life and I start to like absolutely just go in on them for whatever thing I'm making fun and they end and it's like, I realized like, oh you, you don't do this.

所以感觉我就像在欺负你。

So it feels like I'm bullying you.

是啊。

Yes.

但其实我只是想……

But really, I'm just trying to be

我是真的在爱你。

I'm loving you.

我特别特别爱你。

I'm loving you so much.

对啊。

Yeah.

说得好。

Good job.

天哪。

Oh my god.

而且啊，能拿自己开玩笑，真的是最棒的快乐之一，真的。

Also, like, laughing at yourself is, like, the greatest one of the greatest joys and, like

没错，这还是聪明的表现。

It is, and it's a sign of intelligence.

但你要是在众目睽睽之下，或者年轻的时候还能自嘲，那真的太难了。

But having a sense of humor about yourself, especially when you're all eyes are on you or when you're young person's super hard.

太把自己当回事，简直是世上最糟糕的毛病。

Yourselves too seriously is risk just the worst quality in the world.

确实是，这毛病最要命，但我能理解，也特别有同理心，因为在SNL我见得太多了，大家紧张到极点的时候。

It is but it, it is the worst quality but it is but I understand I have empathy for it because usually it comes from like, you know what I saw it a lot at SNL, because you got people at their most nervous.

对。

Yes.

人一紧张，藏在心底的阴暗面就冒出来了，要么闷声不响，要么对人刻薄，要么焦躁不安。

And when people are nervous like whatever is your shadow side comes out, like you get quiet or you get kind of mean to people or you get hectic or.

人一紧张，有时候就特别僵，总想把事情当真，生怕干不好。

And when you're nervous, like sometimes people just they they really tense up, they want to take things seriously because they want to do a good job.

对啊。

Yeah.

我想告诉你个秘密：你得装傻，假装……

And you're like, I hate to break it to you that secret is to be a big dummy and pretend that

生活就像一场梦。

life is a dream.

我知道。

I know.

这很难，真的……

It's hard, it's a

太难了。

hard lesson.

现在大家总说要接纳自己的尴尬，这其实就是在允许自己开心、自由。

Well it's like the whole thing that people talk about these days which is so real which is like embracing being cringe is literally allowing yourself to be happy and free.

允许自己显得傻乎乎的，你知道吧，就像小孩长到某个年纪，具体看孩子，我那时候大概是十岁十一岁吧，突然就觉得‘这好怪啊’。

Letting yourself be cringey, or you know, you know when like, you know, a kid hits a certain age like, depending on the kid like for me it was like, probably 10 or 11 where they start going like, that's weird.

对，好怪啊。

Yeah, that's weird.

你干嘛说这个啊？然后你才发现，他们突然变得特别敏感，特别在意别人怎么看。

Why are you saying that, And you realize that they're, they're in, they're suddenly very aware, you know, self conscious and aware.

对。

Yeah.

然后觉得啥都怪，拼命想装酷，想融入群体。

And then thinking everything is weird and wanting to be cool and wanting to fit in in whatever way.

对。

Yeah.

我觉得放下这些真的很难，想不装酷都挺费劲的。

I feel like letting that go is very hard and challenging and trying not to be cool.

可你越不装酷，反而越酷。

Yes, is like so much cooler.

我知道，但你得亲身经历才能明白，咱们都当过两边的人——小时候是那个十岁、在商场里喊‘爸，别来接我’‘别进商场’‘别让我丢脸’的孩子。

I know but it's like you have to go through it to get there and we've all been on both sides we've been the 10 year old that's like, Dad, don't pick me up at the mall like right don't come inside the mall, please don't embarrass me,

但有时候，那些让你觉得丢脸的事，反而可能是你这辈子最快乐的事。我刚入行那会儿，花了好多年想证明自己是个什么样的艺术家，想让别人怎么看我。可后来我突然意识到，这根本没给我带来任何快乐，一点成就感都没有。

but it's like sometimes the thing that might be embarrassing is like what brings us the most joy of anything in the world like I was, I spent so many years when I started, you know, having this career that I wanted to like prove the kind of artists that I was and, you know, I wanted people to think of me in a certain way and I feel like at a certain point I was just like, this is bringing me no joy at all, like I, this is not fulfilling to me.

对啊。

Yes,

你是不是在《周六夜现场》工作过？我几年前去当过嘉宾。

in the slightest at all I mean I wonder if are you like at SNL because when I hosted a few years ago.

我当时是，

I was, it

太棒了。

is so good.

谢谢你这么说，你真这么觉得吗？

Thank you for saying that you actually think that do you actually think so,

老兄。

dude.

是啊，我们确实请过一些嘉宾，他们表现得特别棒，玩得也很开心。

Yes, we okay well there are people that we hosted and, and we're like, oh like they did a really nice They had a lot of fun.

你真的是特别搞笑。

You're genuinely funny.

谢谢老天爷。

Thank you, God.

我的天，那可太吓人了。

I mean, it was so scary.

不过我想问你，我超爱《周六夜现场》，但那氛围真的特别紧张。

But my question to you, though, I mean, and like, I love SNL, but but the vibe was very intense.

对啊，那一整周我都纳闷：怎么没人笑啊？这节目不就是让人笑的吗？可大家都绷得紧紧的，好像每个人都在担心饭碗不保。

Yes, and the whole week leading up I was like, why is nobody laughing at all, because I was like, isn't this show about laughing, but it's so serious and I think everyone is like wants to keep their job at the same time.

那节目确实挺严肃的。

Yeah, that show is like it's some serious,

好多人都在拼命试镜，就为了保住工作。

a lot of people auditioning to keep their job.

对啊，就像急诊室一样，有时候日子挺轻松的，大家有说有笑，可有时候呢，所有人忙得团团转，我就觉得：这氛围也太紧张了吧。

Yeah, and it's like an emergency room like sometimes the emergency room days are like fun and you're goofing around and other days, you're just like, oh, everybody's scrambling around and I'm like, I'm like, I'm you're intense.

我的意思是，急诊这工作其实挺有意思的。

I mean, it's just fun as an emergency They

挺开心的。

have fun.

等等，你可是喜剧死忠粉啊，这事儿你都说了无数遍了，你肯定看过《办公室》吧？

Wait, but you, you're a huge fan of comedy, and you've talked about this a million times but you have watched The Office.

姐妹。

Girl.

你到底看了多少遍啊？不是说看了三十遍吗？

How many times for real because is it, it says 30 times

现在都超了。

over that now.

那又怎样？

So what?

因为我根本停不下来，从来都不

Well, because I don't ever stop and I never

就一直开着当背景音

will just have it on a

其实你刚才问到幽默的时候，我想说的是，这部分很大程度上是因为《办公室》。我十一二岁的时候就开始看了。

little when you asked earlier I meant to say to your question about like, humor and yeah grow how did you, you know, a big part of that was The Office I mean I started watching The Office when I was like, 11 or 12.

说到尴尬文化挺有意思的，Z世代一开始特别怕尴尬，

And that's interesting about cringe because you're I mean, the like Gen Z, their relationship to cringe has been really interesting to watch, they were really afraid of it.

但后来他们喜欢的喜剧反而拥抱尴尬，他们好像能通过别人间接体验尴尬——迈克尔·斯科特就是最典型的尴尬之旅。

Then shows embrace it like their favorite comedies embraced it and they almost got to like experience it vicariously through someone else like I mean, Michael Scott is the ultimate cringe journey.

没错，百分之百。

Yes, 100%.

他让你恨不得替他尴尬死，可后来你又觉得他简直像得道高僧，真的，他就是

He's like, oh my god, you're dying for him and then by then you're like, or he's like Buddha, literally or he's

活脱脱最温柔的人。我觉得《办公室》最牛的地方，还有迈克尔·斯科特这个角色，就在于他明明那么蠢，可你就是没法否认他那份真诚。

living literally like the most tender I mean that's what I think is so genius about the whole show and Michael Scott as a whole, yeah, is that he is so awful but you, you, he's so undeniably.

你就是忍不住想喜欢他，心疼他，还 weirdly 地在他身上看到自己的影子

You can't help but love him and feel for him and see yourself in him weirdly,

而且最后还特别想跟他一样，活得那么坦坦荡荡

and and like kind of aspire to be as open book as him at the end

一天下来

of the

我觉得现在这个阶段，我重看的次数已经多到数不清了

day, I think that the amount of times at this point.

我四年前说看过三十遍，天啊，现在每年大概要重看三四遍吧

I mean I said 30 probably like four years ago so wow I probably rewatch the whole series like three or four times a year.

抱歉，可能还不止呢

Sorry, it's, if not more.

不好意思

Sorry.

前几天詹娜吃了一点阿得拉，算了一下这加起来有多少小时了

So Jenna Jenna took a little Adderall the other day and added up the added up the hours of what that is.

天啊，哦，

God, oh,

你知道吗，加起来有九十二天？

you know that it's like ninety two days Days?

连续？

Straight?

没有。

No.

我好奇的是，你有没有看过《公园与游憩》？

I guess my question to you is, like, have you tried Parks and Rec?

我超爱《公园与游憩》，天哪。

And do you I love Parks and Oh god.

我也超爱《公园与游憩》。

I love Parks and Rec.

《公园与游憩》。

Rec.

你得看看这个。

Check it out.

我真想看看。

I'd love to check it out.

史上最佳剧集之一。

Shows of all time.

别逗我了。

Get the hell out of here.

我超爱《公园与游憩》。

I love Parks and rec.

我真的特别希望你去看看。

That's that's I would love for you to check it

看。

out.

你在《公园与游憩》里的表演，绝对是历史上最牛的演出之一，谁都知道。

You in Parks and Rec is one of the greatest performances in history and everybody knows it.

这可是我最爱的前五部剧之一，咱们接着聊吧，

And that is one of my top five shows so moving on,

但我真觉得你回到办公室后，我就安心了。

but I've but but but I feel you getting back to the office, and just that I'm okay.

我觉得电视剧就像一种安慰，能让人自我疗愈。

Also I would say that the idea that TV shows are like a comfort and a way to self soothe.

没错，我特别有共鸣，我觉得很多人都有这种感觉，尤其是喜剧，因为那种一点点小冲突特别有意思。

Yes, is really really I really relate I think a lot of people relate, especially comedy because there's something about the way in which there's a tiny bit of conflict.

大家本来就不该总是一团和气。

People aren't supposed to get along.

是啊，

Yeah,

可最后总能化解矛盾。

they figure it out.

该干嘛干嘛，人人都好好的。

They go on with their day, everybody's okay.

然后你一遍又一遍地重看，就知道接下来会发生啥了，老兄。

And then if you rewatch it and rewatch it and rewatch it you know how it's gonna, dude.

对，完全没错。

Yes, 100%.

这简直就是我的真实经历，你说得一点都没错。

This is, this is my exact experience, exactly what you're saying,

因为我就是需要这种安抚感。

because I have that soothing

百分百，这种知道结局的重看，就是一种自我安抚。

100% it's a self soothing like knowing the end.

一点压力都没有。

No anxiety thing.

没错，因为我很难去看那些全新的电影，根本没法安心看任何新东西。

Yes, it's like, yeah because I have trouble watching movies that aren't, I have trouble watching doing anything that's new, watching entertainment that is new.

对，我觉得这有点像注意力缺陷。

Yes, because I feel like it's like an ADHD.

我就反复看同一部电影、同一部剧，吃同样的饭，听同一首歌，一遍又一遍。

I just all I do is rewatch the same movie the same show, eat the same meal listen to the same song over and over.

对，某种程度上，这就像是……有点儿那种感觉。

Yeah, in a way that's like, like it's like a little bit

有点儿过头了。

over the top.

这得看你咋看，对吧？

Depends on how you frame it right

要是别人在场，肯定觉得奇怪，但一个人的时候，这简直是我这辈子最棒的事了。

if someone else was there they're like, you know, but when I'm alone, obviously it's the most amazing thing in the world.

你看过《办公室》多少遍了？还有哪些电影、饭菜是你反复看、反复吃的？

TV show did you watch The Office over and over what movie do you watch over and over what meal do you eat over and over?

问得真棒。

Amazing questions.

《办公室》我看了无数遍。

The Office over and over.

是的。

Yeah.

《新女孩》我也一遍遍看。

New Girl over and over.

天哪。

Oh my god.

电影的话，比如《早餐俱乐部》，我看了无数遍，简直数不清了。

Movie like Ferris Bueller's Day Off I've Over seen an unbelievable amount of the Hedge.

我看过太多次了，史蒂夫·卡瑞尔在片子里演一只松鼠。

I have seen so many times over the hedge Steve Carell plays a squirrel.

哦，原来是动画片啊。

Oh, it's an animated movie.

对，是动画片。

Yeah, it's an animated movie.

好吧。

Okay.

简直太神奇了。

It's unbelievably amazing.

我逼着好多人看过这部片子。

I've forced so many people to watch it spirit.

太不可思议了，我看了无数遍。

Unbelievable film, have seen it so

好多遍啊，是动画片，讲的是一匹马。

many times animated, it's a horse.

哦，是那部马的电影啊。

Oh, the horse movie.

对，你就是个马迷。

Yes, you're a horse girl,

我确实是个马迷，

I am a horse girl,

你这不就印证了我的观点嘛。

and you prove my theory.

詹妮弗·劳伦斯也在这儿呢，她也是马迷。

Jennifer Lawrence was in here she's a horse girl.

对，你知道吗，这些女孩的头发都特别好看。

Yes, know this girls have beautiful hair.

我听见你说过这话了。

I did see you say that.

你的头发也特别棒。

And you've got great hair.

你一直都有好头发，而且你简直就是半匹马。

You always have, and horses, you're a part horse.

我也是属马的，那年正好是马年。

Also I was the year of the horse born the

马年嘛，今年就是马年。

year horse, this is the year of the horse.

没错。

That's true.

我们现在是火马年吗？

Are we in the year The of fire the horse?

就是火马年。

The fire horse.

你的头发也很漂亮。

You have beautiful hair too.

太谢谢你了。

Thank you so

你喜欢马吗？

Do you like horses?

我没那么漂亮的头发。

I don't have beautiful hair.

不过还是谢谢你。

Thank you though.

我不喜欢马。

I don't like horses.

它们让我害怕

I they scare

吓死我了。

the shit out of me.

但我就是喜欢它们。

I love them.

你骑过马吗？

Have you ridden them?

我勉强骑过一次。

I reluctantly have ridden them.

几年前在冰岛，我和儿子一起骑过一回。

I rode one recently with my son in Iceland a couple years ago

我当时就想，哎哟，这下完了。

I was like you know

我心想：好吧，那就骑吧，可一路上我都在想：快点结束吧，赶紧下来。

what I'm gonna ride yeah I'm gonna like, and I the whole time I was like, I cannot wait to get out.

疼得要命。

It hurts so bad.

疼啊。

Hurt.

是身体上的疼吗？

It Physically?

对，疼得我……哎呀，就是那儿，那个地方，真的疼。

Yeah, it hurt my, yeah the who's, the who's and the has, it does

大腿内侧、屁股上边、前屁股那块儿都疼。

hurt my inner leg, upper butt, front butt region.

但老兄，真不是一般的疼。

But, dude, it hurt.

不过嘛，啥事儿都是用久了就习惯了。

Well, like anything you get used to that.

这话在理。

That's true.

然后，你就是冠军了。

And then, you're a champion.

你老被人说‘最年轻’——最年轻突破一亿Spotify播放量的，最年轻拿下年度专辑和年度歌曲奖的，还是史上第一个在任何类别里拿过两个奥斯卡奖的人，天哪。

Okay, you have had the phrase youngest used on you constantly, the youngest to reach a 100,000,000 Spotify streams, youngest winner album of the year record of the year youngest person ever to win two Academy Awards in any category oh my god.

你有没有觉得，到了二十多岁，终于能从‘神童’那种光环里稍微喘口气了？

Do you, is it kind of nice to reach your 20s, and be a little bit away from that kind of young wonder kindy like vibe?

兄弟，你懂我意思吧？

Dude, do know what mean?

对，懂。

Yeah, do.

你的年纪其实还是很小。

I mean, you're still very young.

是啊。

Yes.

但你现在

But you're

也不是。

also not.

说实话，我从来没想过自己会不再是青少年，我根本没觉得我会长大，就觉得我会一直这样下去。

Well, I guess I never like thought that I would ever not be a teenager like, it's not like I like, I don't know I just was like I'm this will be me forever.

那时候我17岁，就觉得：行吧，我就是现在这个样子了，一辈子都不会变。

There's no other, you know, remember when I was like 17 I was like, okay and I am the person I will be forever, right now.

但现实根本不是这么回事，我超期待变老，超期待脸和身体都跟着岁月变化，一点都不想整容改样。我希望我孩子以后看我，能从我脸上看到自己的影子，而不是现在满大街那些被修得面目全非的假脸。

It's just not how it works, obviously, and I am so excited to age and I'm so excited for my face to age and my body to age, and not change it, you know, and I want my kids to look at me and have my face look like their face and not be some botched version of whatever the fuck is going on out there right now.

你懂我意思吧？总之——

You know what I'm saying so anyways,

对，那时候大家特别惊讶你17岁就觉得自己已经定型了。

yes, and when it was really wild about you being like, I'm when I was 17 I thought I was a person I was.

是啊，我们17岁那会儿在纪录片里还看到你过生日，蛋糕都点上了，大家喊你‘十七岁生日快乐’呢。

Yeah, we knew you at 17 we like saw you get a cake, when you're 17 in the, in the doc, you know, like happy seventeenth birthday.

是啊。

Yeah,

你说得对。

you're right.

你不仅在摸索自己，全世界都在盯着你看你怎么摸索。

And so you not only are you figuring yourself out but everybody's watching you figure it out.

我说的其实挺明显的，每个人私下都会经历不同的自己，但你得把这些变化公之于众。

And there's, you know, I'm saying the obvious but we all go through versions of ourselves privately, you had to go through versions of yourself publicly.

你每次做决定，比如剪个头发，都得让别人跟着改海报什么的，根本不是你一个人的事，你每换一个样子，都会牵动一堆人。

And you also had to whatever change you decided to make that day affected a bunch of people, it's not like you're like I'm gonna cut my hair now and everyone's like, we got to change the posters or whatever like, like it's it becomes a thing where you, you, you like trying new versions of yourself.

从你一出现到现在，大家都能感觉到，你心里一直有个声音，在做每个决定前都会跟你对一下表。

Everybody else weighs in on that or has something, how is from minute one Billie from when I saw you to now, there was some kind of inner governor a voice that you would it felt like, check-in with to make decisions.

那声音是谁？

Who is that?

它在哪儿？

Where is that?

它从哪儿来的？

Where does that come from?

真的吗？

Is that true?

你做决定就是这样做的吗？

Is that how you make decisions?

你第一反应是靠直觉吗？

Do you go to your gut first?

你平时是怎么做决定的？

How do you make decisions?

天啊，这些问题太棒了。

Wow, these are amazing questions.

我的天。

Oh my god.

谢谢。

Thank you.

你现在可真是问到点子上了。

You are absolutely eating it up right now.

哇。

Wow.

我觉得这完全是凭直觉。

I feel like it is a gut thing.

说来奇怪，虽然我13岁、14岁、15岁就成名，那会儿压力特别大，但我反而觉得，自己那时候真有种少年特有的随性。

Like, I think that weirdly, as much as it was a strain on my youth becoming famous at 14, 13, 14, 15, I weirdly do think that I had that element of teenage carelessness.

对啊。

Yeah, right.

虽然我那时候特别在意别人怎么看，拼命想装酷。

Even though I was self conscious and very, you know, trying to be cool.

但我骨子里还是做自己，现在回想起来，真的特别感激那时候的自己，也觉得幸好这一切发生得那么早。

I also was myself in a way that I look back on and I'm like, so grateful that I was that way and I think that weirdly I'm glad that it happened when I was so young because.

我觉得这可能也跟我从小到大就是这性格有关——特别有主见，特别爱管人，简直控制欲爆棚，事事都得按我的来，而且说话特别直，不拐弯抹角，没错。

And I think that it is attributed also I have to say to just the person that I've always been since I was a little kid just very strong willed and very, very bossy extremely bossy and very needing things to go my way and also being very honest and blunt, I guess, yes.

所以当我刚开始接受采访，或者被问到各种问题的时候——

And so I think when I started doing interviews or you know being asked any kind of a question.

我

I

就是特别实诚，而且我14岁的时候还参加过公关培训，哭得稀里哗啦的。

was just very very honest and I also, I did PR training when I was 14, and I sobbed through it.

我简直讨厌死了。

I hated it so much.

那简直是我这辈子最吓人的事了。

It was literally like the scariest shit of all time.

到底是什么让你这么害怕？

What made it so scary?

我就是好奇，啥事儿能把你哭成那样？

I was just like What made you sob?

首先，那个带培训的女老师，她会问我问题，因为公关培训就是这么个流程。

I first of all, the woman who did it to me was like, I would she know she would ask me a question because this is how PR training works.

明白了。

Okay.

我本该知道这个的。

I should I should know this.

你做过公关培训吗？

Did you do PR training?

没有。

No.

这还用说吗。

Obviously not.

我只参加过一次，还不到一小时。

Well, I only did one session, and it was like under an hour.

我当场就哭了，然后直接走了。

And I sobbed and I left.

从那以后，我一条规矩都没遵守过。

And I did not follow any of the rules after that.

是的。

Yeah.

但 basically，他们会告诉你该说什么，该往哪个方向讲。

But basically, like, she'll you know, they'll tell you what you're you should say or the kind of direction you should go.

然后他们会假装在面试，问你问题。

And, and then they'll ask you the question like pretending you're in an interview.

我一开始按自己习惯的回答，她就立马打断我，说不行不行，你得这么说，你应该这样讲。

And so I would start answering the way I would want to answer and she would like kind of cut me off and be like, no, no, you need to start saying this or no, you should be saying this.

别这么说。

Don't say that.

别给他们这个答案。

Don't give them that.

不过学这个对我挺重要的，现在想想还挺庆幸学了。

And it was important for me to learn and I'm glad I learned it.

就跟学安全驾驶一个道理。

But similar to learning to drive safely.

挺好的。

It's good

知道怎么安全开车，对吧。

to know how to drive safely Right.

这样你才能……等等，这比喻其实不太恰当。

So that you can use your the so that then you can this is really a bad analogy.

但你可以根据情况灵活调整规则。

But so then you can bend the rules according to

是的。

Yeah.

不是的。

No.

我明白你的意思。

I hear you.

但你知道哪些是安全、正确、合适的，然后我就想说得更精准一点，你懂我意思吧，我也说不清楚。

But like you know, you know what is safe and good and right, but then I'm gonna go be, know, precise about, you know what I'm saying, I don't know.

你知道的。

You know what

我的意思是？

I mean?

完全没错。

Absolutely.

就像你在摸索自己的界限，然后在这些界限里找到怎么玩得自在。

It's like you're figuring out your own boundaries like figuring out within those boundaries how to play.

是的，对你来说，真实特别重要。

Yes, authenticity is like major for you.

其实就是你在寻找自己真正想向世界表达的东西。

It's like, it's really looking for it's what you want to put out into the world.

你心里有感觉，根本骗不了人。

And like you feel it and you just kind of can't fake it.

不真实的时候，估计挺难受的。

It's probably a little painful when you're not being authentic.

我特别讨厌那样。

I hate it.

对，我也讨厌这样。

Yeah, I hate it.

而且我发现当一件事越来越主流，就会有很多不是你粉丝的人来关注你、对你的作品评头论足，那种感觉真的很吓人。说实话，一想到这个我就难过——倒也不是回忆过往，就是我意识到自己现在分享自我的尺度，已经比以前缩了至少八成。

And I think when things get more mainstream, and then more people who aren't your fans are looking at you and hearing it it's, it becomes like scary I mean I feel, I feel like sad thinking back, not even thinking back just thinking about how I've definitely like, like, 8075% come down on my, my not honesty but my sharing of myself.

放在以前，我对全世界几乎是毫无保留，什么都往外说。

I used to be literally like 99% complete, like oversharing with the entire world.

而且我特别喜欢那时候的状态，因为我本身就是个会追更、会为偶像疯狂的人——我以前追马术相关的内容，一直都是个会全心投入的粉丝，从来都是这样。

Yeah, which I loved because I also, I am a fan and I've always been a fan like my my I'm a horse girl and I am a fan girl and I always have been.

而且这些都是你那时候

And these are like you were

真的相信这些事的状态。

a believer.

你把所有人都迎进了你最柔软的那个地方，就好像，

You let everyone into that like tender place like,

但我当初特意这么做，是因为我自己作为粉丝的时候，太明白这种感受了。

but I did it specifically because I knew that as a fan.

我希望能看到我最喜欢的歌手这么做，我想看到真实和坦诚。

I wanted my favorite artists to do that I wanted realness and honesty and

你确实做到了，你让别人有这种感受。

I do that you make people feel that way.

我的意思是，你的歌词让人感觉被深深理解了，比莉。

I mean your lyrics make people feel so seen, Billie.

我说真的，我得再夸你一遍，原因就在这儿。

Like so, like there's a reason why, okay, I'm gonna praise and praise you again.

你想想，我去你演唱会的时候，全场都在跟着唱，比如那首《我恨这个城市》，每个人都在喊，你知道吧？我们就来唱那首歌吧。

Like they're like, when, when we're when I go to your show, I went to your show and like, and, like everyone's singing, you know, you know, you make me hate this city, like, you know, and everybody's like, those, like those, let's take that song.

咱们就唱那首歌吧。

Let's take let's take

那首歌。

that song.

好吧，

Okay,

好吧。

okay.

等一下，我给你把整首歌唱一遍。

Hold on, I'm gonna sing the entire song to you.

走起！

Let's go.

嗯，但那一刻——天啊，这不对劲。

Okay, but that moment oh my god, this is not.

我得说个事儿。

Okay, I have to break some news.

这可不是我的笔记本电脑。

This is not my laptop.

我今天把电脑忘在家里了。

I forgot my laptop today.

这是萨姆的电脑，我快急死了。

This is Sam's laptop and I'm completely stressed out.

好吧。

Okay.

所以看这个视频的人应该注意到了，这台笔记本比我的平常那台大得多，而且

And for those people watching this laptop is bigger than my usual laptop and

他们 probably 已经注意到了。

they probably already noticed that.

别在评论里老提什么笔记本的事了。

And don't write in no comments about laptop.

我真的老了。

Okay, I'm so old.

得好好看看。

Gotta read it.

好吧。

Okay.

好吧。

Okay.

但你刚才说‘好吧’的时候。

But when you said okay.

你说‘我从没这样对待过你’，这话真让我恨透了这座城市。

But when you were like when you say because I never treat me this shitty, you made me hate this city.

我从不在网上说你坏话。

I don't talk shit about you on the Internet.

你唱歌的时候，我跟着唱，你就是直来直去地唱，说白了就是这么回事。

When you're singing it when you're singing it and I'm singing it, you're making you're you're being like you're speaking plainly, I guess is the way to say it.

你没躲什么比喻啊意象啊那些花里胡哨的东西。

You're not hiding behind some like objects or metaphors.

这种真实感，就像直接打在观众心上——你的歌词太牛了。

And that authenticity it's like it's like a direct hit between the audience and you like your lyrics are so fucking great.

我想问你个问题，得给你提个问题才行。

I guess my question is, I guess I have to give you a question.

你写歌词的时候是怎么想的？

How do you write lyrics?

天啊，这问题太难了。

Oh gosh, terrible question.

别提了。

Forget it.

咱们多聊点吧。

Let's say more.

行吧。

Okay.

这事儿太丢人了。

Because that shit's embarrassing.

我的意思是，这真的太丢人了。

I mean, that shit's embarrassing.

是啊，姐妹。

It is, bitch.

确实如此。

It is.

真的挺丢人的。

It really is.

那事儿太丢人了。

That shit's embarrassing.

你曾经是我的一切，真的特别真实。

You were my everything, like, it's so real.

大家都感同身受。

Everybody felt that feels that.

谢谢你。

Thank you.

你的歌词里头，

With your lyrics,

但我

but I

我很好奇，你写完一句词，会不会觉得：这太过了？

am genuinely curious like do you write a lyric and then you go that's too.

我有时候写对话，写完就觉得自己写的这玩意儿，根本没人会这么说。

I feel the way about dialogue sometimes I'll write something I'd like nobody talks like that.

对，没错。

Right, right.

根本没人会讲这种话。

Like nobody's gonna say that.

对我来说，这真的特别厉害。

I mean, to me is really impressive

写出来太难了。

to write.

我真不明白你怎么能做到的。

Like, I don't understand how you do that.

这种事，我完全没法想象自己能写剧本。

That that to me, I can't like fathom writing a script at all.

我也说不上来为什么。

I don't know why.

我觉得吧，就像那些从来没做过音乐的人跟我说话一样，你知道的，他们总说你怎么可能做得出来，我完全没法想象怎么写歌词。

Think I just, I have a similar feeling to like how people talk to me who, you know, have never made music or

完全就是这种感觉，我根本没法想象怎么写对话。

musical at all where they're like how do you possibly do that like I can't begin to fathom how to write dialogue.

但我看过你写歌词，你也让我们看着你写，感觉你做的事其实差不多——你试着念出那句词，然后问自己：这真的吗？

Right, so but I've watched you write lyrics, and you've let us watch you write it, and it feels like you're doing a similar thing which is like, it's like you try on the lyric, and you're like, is that real?

就像你在

Like you're

问自己：这真的成立吗？即使它不一定来自真实经历。

asking yourself is that a real thing even though it's not always about a real thing.

就是觉得，这句词在我脑子里听起来对不对，就像

It's just like, does that lyric feel right in my head, like

大声唱出来。

singing it out loud.

其实我对这个问题的回答挺有意思，因为我根本不喜欢写音乐。

Well so my answer to this is interesting because I don't like writing music.

这话我可听你提过

I've heard you say

好多次了

this many times.

不过这些年我越来越喜欢写歌了，说实话主要是长大成人后，不再纠结于耍帅装酷了

And I have, I have, I have grown to like it so much more over the years and honestly like growing up and becoming an adult, and not worrying about being cool.

对，这点真的帮了我大忙，做任何事、尤其是做音乐，就得先允许自己做出烂东西，才有可能打磨出好作品，所有事都是这个理，什么事都逃不开这个规律

Yeah, really has helped me write music because a big part of making anything, and especially music is allowing it to be bad before it's good it's like so many things it's like literally anything.

而且我觉得吧，当你想要把一件事做好的时候，真的太难了。尤其是大家都能看到你做这件事，你压力就更大了，总觉得它必须完美，绝不能出一点纰漏，这种心态反而会彻底阻止你动手去做。

And I think like, it's so hard when you want to be good at something, and especially when you have the pressure of people seeing it and you're like, it has to be good so I can't even, I can't let this be bad for even one second, it'll stop you from doing it at all.

所以呢，我真正热爱的其实是唱歌，唱歌才是刻进我骨子里的最爱，是全世界我最在乎的事。能唱自己写的歌，才是我做音乐的目标，这也是写音乐能带给我乐趣的唯一原因。

And so, I like my love is singing, singing is like my true true soulmate, like singing is the thing that I love more than anything in the world, and having songs that I have written to sing is the goal like that's what I love about writing music.

对，还有就是，我所有的创作都是和我哥一起完成的，偶尔自己单独写的时候，根本感受不到乐趣，而且我还会对自己吹毛求疵，整个过程都特别煎熬。但和我哥一起创作就不一样了，之前有人问过我，现在做新专辑是自己想做，还是合约要求必须做。

Yeah, and also, when I am, because I write everything with my brother, and I write alone every now and then but it doesn't bring me joy when I write it alone, and also I'm too critical and I'm like, it's just frustrating for me, and when I work with my brother like I was saying to somebody, you know, because somebody said like, are you making an album right now because you want to make a new album or because you're required in your contract to.

我当时就说，我从来都没考虑过这个问题。

And I was like, I've never thought about that once.

是啊，我觉得自己挺幸运的，能有这种感觉，因为根本不是因为非得做才做，只要有借口能跟哥哥待一块儿，我都乐意。

Yeah, and I feel that I'm lucky to feel that way, because I don't care if it's because I have to, it's actually like any excuse to hang out with my brother, I'll take.

别闹了，

Come on,

而且我们能一起创作出我们都喜欢的音乐，我觉得那些不爱写歌过程的人，其实挺有意思的。

and we get to make music that we both love, and I think that what's interesting about not loving the process of writing music is.

我超爱最终出来的作品。

I love the outcome so much.

是啊，我最爱的就是自己的歌，比听任何其他音乐都上头，我觉得别人听到可能会想：‘啥？你居然听自己的歌？’——对啊，这不就是我写歌的原因吗？就像我调自己的香水，因为我特别喜欢那个味道，就想天天用。

Yeah, I love my music, more than any other music, and I think that that I think that people hear that and think like, what the heck like oh you're listening to your own music and it's like well yeah that's why I make it, I, it's like, it's like similar to like I make my own perfume because I really like the smell of it and I want to wear it.

没错，

Yes,

我写歌就是为了听、为了享受、为了唱，这可是我这辈子最爱的事儿。

you know, so I make music to listen to it to enjoy it and to sing it it's my favorite thing in the world,

你唱歌真的太棒了。

you're so good at singing.

你喜欢自己擅长的东西，真好。

Good that you like the thing that you're so good at.

老天保佑。

Thank God.

这可不是开玩笑。

No kidding.

我老爱问歌手这个问题，我们之前聊过海莉。

I like to ask singers this we had Hailey.

我们是朋友，平时就发发消息，随便聊聊。

Friends we text, whatever we're friends we text.

成交。

A deal.

我也挺喜欢她的。

Feel about her too.

太棒了。

Very cool.

而且真别把它当回事儿。

And totally not don't make a big deal out of it.

我问过她这个问题，我老喜欢问别人：你第一次觉得自己的声音不错，是什么时候？

I asked her this and I like to ask what like your first relationship to your voice, like, when you were like, I like my voice.

你肯定特别小，因为从小就唱歌，而且一直被鼓励去唱，但那时候你唱着唱着，就觉得反正出来啥声儿都……

Do you remember you must have been a tiny one because you were singing at a very young age and you were encouraged to sing a lot but that thing when you sing and you think like, whatever's coming out is

好像还挺不错的。

like, is kind of good.

对，就是挺好。

Yeah, is good.

哇，你还记得那种感觉吗？

Woah, do you remember a feeling of that.

挺有意思的，因为我打小就唱歌，根本记不得什么时候开始的，就是一直唱、一直唱，我成长在一个特别音乐化的家庭，钢琴总在响，吉他也总在弹，我妈是词曲作者，而且Finneas比我大，他写歌还比我早呢。

Well it's so interesting because I have been singing for my entire life like I don't, there was never a beginning it was just, I was singing and singing and singing and I grew up in a very musical household piano always being played guitar being played, you know, my mom was a songwriter, and, you know, Finneas started writing songs before I did he was older than me.

所以音乐一直围绕着我，我也一直被鼓励去唱歌。

And so there was always music around and so I was very encouraged to sing.

我觉得吧，我是在家上学的，但那时候在家教圈子里。

I think, you know, was homeschooled, but in the homeschool community.

那种地方啊，经常搞些自己动手的才艺表演，就是家庭学校的才艺秀。

There's like, you know, DIY talent shows type stuff, there's like home homeschool talent shows.

那可是我唯一惦记的事，我真就只想上台唱歌跳舞。

And it was the only thing I looked for, I literally all I wanted to do was be on a stage, singing or dancing,

简直就是迷你版的科切拉音乐节，你懂的。

it was like a little baby Coachella that you're getting Yeah.

准备好了。

Ready

我第一次唱的是《安妮》里的《明日》，当然啦，那时候我大概六岁吧，不对，应该是六岁。

And the first song I sang was tomorrow from Annie, of course, and I think I was like, eight or wait no six, I think I was six.

我老是记不清年龄，但这件事我记得特别清楚。

And that right I don't know I have a hard time with numbers, ages, but that I remember like that.

我甚至都不记得自己唱得怎么样了，可我就是爱死了那个感觉。

I don't even think I did, but I loved it so much.

观众欢呼的那种感觉简直太棒了，但我和我嗓音的关系……

And the feeling of the crowd cheering was just the greatest thing, but I think my relationship to my voice.

就是说，我……

Like, I.

这听起来可能有点怪，我希望你别觉得我在博同情，我真是这么想的。

This is going to sound weird and I hope it doesn't sound like pick me because I really mean it.

别再尴尬了，结束了，别再自嘲了。

No more cringe it's over no more pick

别再自嘲了，真的别再说了。

me no more cringe, no more.

对，你说得对。

Yeah, you're right.

但我从来没觉得自己是个歌手，我只是单纯爱唱歌。

But I never like I didn't think of myself as a singer, I just loved to sing.

我记得大概十一岁的时候，芬尼斯跟朋友在一起，有时候就会说：‘我妹妹嗓音挺不错的。’

And then I remember, like, when I was about 11, like Finneas would, you know, be with his friends and sometimes be like, well, my little sister has a really good voice.

我就说：‘啥？’

And I'd be like, what?

然后他就说：‘比莉，你唱一下贾斯汀·比伯《Baby》的开头。’

And then he'd be like, Billie sing the beginning of Baby by Justin Bieber.

我就开始唱，结果他朋友们就说：‘哎哟，真的耶？’

And I would like be like, I would be like, well, well, and his friends would be like, oh, You know?

就只是……

Well, just

呼吸。

breathing.

对。

Yeah.

我记得有一次唱错了，当时我就想：天啊。

And I remember, like, doing it once and, like, messing it up and I was like, god.

我特别沮丧，因为我其实想当个舞者。

And I was so upset because really I wanted to be a dancer.

那可是我的招牌项目。

That was, like, my thing.

我懂。

I know.

就是那个，还有那个，然后……

And that and that's And

他们总在舞蹈睡衣派对上逼我唱歌，说‘比莉，上去唱一个’，我尴尬得要死。

they would like make me sing at like the dance sleepover, like they'd be like Billie go up and sing, and I was too embarrassed.

但我就是不肯上去。

But then I wouldn't.

这就好比你是个打篮球的，结果人家还说你也会打棒球，然后你居然还拿了世界大赛冠军。

That, I mean, that's like the, you're like the athlete that like played basketball and then like was like I think I also like baseball and you're like win the World Series.

你跳舞真的超棒的。

You were such a good dancer.

我哪算什么好舞者啊。

I was barely a good dancer.

我超爱跳舞的。

I was like, loved dancing so much.

你最拿手的是啥？

What was your thing?

你跳芭蕾吗？

Were you ballet?

我开始跳舞是因为特别喜欢踢踏舞。

I started dancing because I loved tap dancing.

别逗了，比莉。

Oh, come on, Billie.

我以前也是跳踢踏舞的。

So I was a tapper.

啥？

What?

对啊，我就跳踢踏舞的。

Yeah, I was a tapper.

后来我一接触踢踏舞，就觉得：哎，这玩意儿真不错。

And then once I started getting into tap, I was like, oh, I like this.

挺可爱的。

Cute.

再后来我开始跳嘻哈，特别爱嘻哈，接着又跳现代舞，这仨是我最爱的。因为太爱跳舞了，我就想：好吧，既然要玩这些，那芭蕾也得学，毕竟要求嘛，之后又学了爵士和抒情舞。

And then I started doing hip hop, and I loved hip hop, and then I would do contemporary so those are my top three and then because I fell in love with dance I was like well now I have to do ballet to be part of the other stuff because it was required and then jazz and then lyrical and

你有没有过那种想法，比如‘等我唱歌的时候再跳舞’？

have you ever had a like a thing of like, maybe I'll dance when I sing?

我刚跳得有点起色，就受了重伤，之后被禁止跳舞了，再没跳过，现在偶尔去上个课而已。

Right when I started getting good, I got a horrible injury and then I was not allowed to dance and I never danced ever I'm in like a class every now and then.

真棒。

That's cool.

特别可爱。

Which is really cute.

真的很酷。

That's very cool.

你当时伤到哪儿了，如果你——

What did you injure if you're

我髋关节受伤了， basically 就是这一下让我彻底没法跳了。

I my injured my hip, but basically, that took me out.

天啊，这也太震撼了，太有意思了，人生真是这样，偏偏就是这事儿，反而让你更坚定了自己最爱的事。

Woah, that's so intense and so interesting like how life like so that opens the door to the thing that you love doing anyway.

对啊。

Right.

说起来真巧，我开始认真跳舞的时候是12岁？

Well, dude, what's crazy about the timing of it is that I started getting really serious with dance when I was 12?

不对，是13岁。

No, 13.

那年我把头发染成了纯白，然后Finneas就对我说：嘿，咱要不要搞个SoundCloud账号玩玩？随便录点歌，发出去给朋友听听啥的。

And I like, I dyed my hair platinum white that year, and then Finneas was like, dude, should we make a SoundCloud page for fun and like, maybe make some songs and put them out for fun like for our friends to play or whatever.

所以就在我不知不觉认真跳舞的同时，我们俩还顺手录了几首特别傻的歌。

And so at the same time as I was getting really serious about dance, we had this idea, we recorded like some little stupid songs.

然后有一天，我的一位舞蹈老师弗雷德·迪亚兹留我下来，这事我之前讲过，但年纪越大越觉得这件事太离谱了。

And then my one of my dance teachers, Fred Diaz said, and I've told this story before but literally like the older I get the more insane it is.

那天下课之后他叫我留下，问我能不能和芬neas一起写首歌，他要编一套舞蹈用，来年汇报演出的时候用这个节目。

He was like Billie stay behind after class one day and he was like, can you and Finneas make a song so that I can choreograph a dance to it and we can do it for the recital next year.

我当时特别兴奋，心里盘算着，芬neas刚写了首歌，好像叫《Ocean Eyes》（碧海明眸）来着。

And I was so excited and I thought you know what, Finneas just wrote a song that I think is called Ocean Eyes.

说不定就用这首就挺合适的。

Maybe it could be that one.

我回家就跟Finneas说，Fred想让我们写首歌。

I go home I'm like Finneas, Fred wants us to make a song.

得尽量写得适合跳舞才行。

Let's make it as like danceable as possible.

我们回家就录了《Ocean Eyes》，这首歌本来是他给自己的乐队写的。

We went home, we recorded Ocean Eyes, which he had written for his band.

可他说这首歌不太适合他的乐队，想让我来唱，其实我们那时候本来也打算这么做了。

And he said it didn't feel right and he wanted me to sing it anyway so we were already kind of going to do that.

总之，我们把歌传到了SoundCloud，还设了免费下载链接。

Anyway, we went to put it on SoundCloud, it had a free download link up.

谁都能免费下载。

Anyone could download it for free.

我们本来只是想发个方便的链接给舞蹈老师而已。

And we only put it on SoundCloud to send an easier link to the dance teacher.

然后我们就这么做了。

And so we did.

结果那周我正准备参加比赛，过了一周，Finneas给我打电话，说：‘Billie，《Ocean Eyes》已经有上千次播放了，上千次！’

And then like that week I was getting ready for competition and then a week later Finneas called me and he was like, Billie Ocean Ice has a thousand streams, a thousand.

我们俩激动得又叫又跳，我简直不敢相信：这简直是我梦里都不敢想的事。

And we were cheering and we were screaming and I was like, this is the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me.

这不就是我全部的梦想吗？

This is all I could ever dream of.

几周后，这首歌的播放量越涨越高。

A couple weeks go by, it starts getting bigger and bigger.

后来弗雷德开始为这首歌编舞，比赛就在下周，事情越闹越大，Hilly Dilly还发了出去，还有什么‘新音乐周五’之类的平台，各种新渠道都冒出来了，连唱片公司都主动来找我们了。

Like, Fred starts choreographing a dance to it, competition is the next week, things are getting bigger it's like hilly dilly is posting it and like, you know, new music Friday or whatever and like all these new these new outlets and we were getting reached out to by these labels and stuff.

就在我要参加赛季首场舞蹈比赛的前一晚，最后一次排练。

And then it's the last rehearsal before my first dance competition of the season.

每个组合里我都有独舞部分。

I have a solo in each combo.

我兴奋得不得了。

Was so excited.

排练一结束，我们就准备走了。

We were done with rehearsal.

正要出门呢，

We were about to leave.

老师突然说：等等，再来一遍吧。

And our teacher was like, wait, let's do one more.

就只是为了拍个视频。

No, Just to film it.

所以我们又跳了一次。

And so we did one more.

然后就拍了下来。

And we filmed it.

就在我的小扭臀动作中间，我才12岁，突然感觉胯部一响，就受伤了。

And in the middle of my little twerk, literally 12 years old, I'm like, my hip is like, and I got injured.

然后我直接倒在了地上，走不了路，跳不了舞，啥也干不了，起码躺了一周，之后就靠拐杖走路，从此再也没跳过舞。

And then I was poof, laying on the floor, couldn't walk, couldn't dance, definitely couldn't do anything, and was basically like bedridden for at least a week, and then I was on crutches, and I literally never danced again.

整个比赛都没赶上？

Missed the whole competition?

我一场都没参加上，一场都没跳成。

I missed every single competition I didn't get to do one.

比莉，我现在鸡皮疙瘩都起来了。

Billie I have chills right now.

但后来

But then

那周我拖着拐杖去参加了好多会议，见了Interscope的人，还见了一堆经纪代理，当时真的特别难过。

that week I went to all these meetings in my I met with Interscope, I met with all these different booking agents I had my crutches I was like, and I was so sad.

啊。

Oh

天哪，现在听这段的人里，肯定有人会想：我错过了人生中最重要的事。

my god, I mean there's people listening to this right now who are going to be like having just missed something that they think is the biggest thing in

他们的生活。

their life.

真是够离谱的。

It's pretty wild.

他们肯定也会说：我鸡皮疙瘩都起来了。

They're gonna be like I have chills too.

这太就是那种……

That's so that is what

我选的路。

I've chosen.

讲我自己的故事。

Have my own story.

宇宙突然插进来，就像那种人生岔路口的时刻——停，咱们中断一下这个节目。

The universe decided that like sliding doors moment of like we're gonna we're gonna stop, we're gonna interrupt this program.

再没有什么比眼睁睁看着眼前本该属于你的事就这么没了，更让人难过了。

And there's no deeper, right, like sadness, then thinking, I, I'm not going to get to do the thing that's right in front of me that I'm supposed to do.

结果这时候，偏偏有个小插曲冒了出来。

And then like this little hey over here kind of thing happening.

天啊，当你觉得某件事毁了你的人生，结果它其实是在救你。

Woah, when you think something is ruining your life, and it's really actually saving your life.

对。

Yes.

我喜欢你又开始跳舞了，毕竟这段经历肯定留下了一些创伤，你现在像个成年人一样重新回来，试着说：好吧，也许我还能再试一次。

And I like that you're dancing again because there must be a little bit of trauma, honestly around all of it so like you're just, you're coming back as an adult going back and being like, okay, maybe I can do this again.

那种感觉让我觉得舒服，让我能重新去面对它。

Was like a version that feels good to me like where I can revisit it.

是的，真的挺好的。

Yeah, it's been really nice.

对。

Yeah.

而且一点压力都没有，你知道的，就是单纯地

And it's so non pressure, you know, it's just it's

可我们就是需要你去参赛。

Well, just we need you to compete.

因为我们需要你完成这套动作。

Because we need you to do that we need you to finish that routine.

是啊，你说得对。

Yeah, you're right.

我的意思是，电影里的情节大概是，你重新回到场上

I mean that would be the movie is like you go back out there

在拉斯维加斯跟一群青少年一起谢幕。

to encore in Las Vegas with all the other teenagers.