玛雅·鲁道夫（现场版）

没人知道方法

Nobody knows how

去做

to do

人们都这么想，但如果你拿着麦克风，他们就会觉得你可能知道答案。

People think that, but if you have a microphone, they'll go, maybe they know.

是啊。

Yeah.

对啊。

Yeah.

我打算开个课程专门讲这个。

I'm gonna sell a course talking about it.

好吧。

Okay.

就因为我到了更年期，所以我们...卢克会回来吗？

So just because I'm menopausal, so we've got so you've got, is Luke coming back?

卡玛拉？

Kamala?

嗯哼。

Mhmm.

你是怎么做到的，宝贝？

How do you do it, babe?

是啊。

Yeah.

你是怎么做到的？

How do you do it?

说得对。

Right on.

这些问题很棒。

Those are awesome questions.

谢谢。

Thank you.

罗恩·芬奇斯，感谢你接受这次采访。

Ron Funches, thank you for doing this.

你真是个令人愉快的人。

You're a total delight.

我要

I'm gonna

拿走这个。

take this.

把马克杯拿走吧。

Take the mug.

那个马克杯是你的了。

That mug is yours.

各位，这是罗恩·芬奇斯。

Everybody, Ron Funches.

非常感谢你，罗恩。

Thank you so much, Ron.

不知道你有没有看到Ron衣服背面写的字：我只想和朋友共事。

I don't know if you saw the back of Ron's shirt, but it said, I only wanna work with friends.

这件T恤真是太棒了。

What a great shirt.

哇，Ron。

Wow, Ron.

非常感谢你。

Thank you so much.

真是愉快的交谈。

That was a pleasure.

我本可以和你聊一整晚，但现在居然已经8点33分了。

I could've talked to you all evening, but it's literally already 08:33.

太可怕了。

Horrifying.

好吧。

Okay.

非常激动地向大家介绍今晚的嘉宾。

Very excited to introduce our guest this evening.

你们认识她，她曾是租客乐队的伴唱歌手。

You know, her from, a backup singer for the rentals.

她是Crossroads最酷的学生，加州最火爆的喜剧明星，永远不变的《周六夜现场》MVP。

She was was a Crossroads' coolest student, California's own biggest comedy hit, MVP of SNL till the end of time.

女士们先生们，让我们欢迎玛雅·鲁道夫！

Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Maya Rudolph.

嗨，艾米。

Hi, Amy.

嗨。

Hi.

最近怎么样？

How's it going?

这场观众不错吧？

Isn't this a nice crowd?

这真是太好了。

This is very nice.

这么多友善的人。

So many nice people.

友善的人们。

Nice people.

能看出他们都是友善的人。

You can tell they're nice people.

我能看出来。

I can.

我能感觉到。

I can feel it.

我都能闻出来。

I can smell it.

玛雅，我们要做个简单的麦克风测试。

Maya, we're gonna do a little mic check.

好的。

Okay.

那你能为我们唱国歌吗？

And let's will you sing the national anthem for

我们？

us?

好的。

Yeah.

明白。

Okay.

小型的麦克风测试。

Little mic check.

开始吧。

Go ahead.

我没开玩笑。

I'm not kidding.

我希望有人能再请我做一次这件事。

I want someone to ask me to do that again.

那不是很棒吗？

Wouldn't that be fun?

确实有人为五十周年纪念说过，嘿，我们想请你以国歌开场表演。

I someone did say for the fiftieth, hey, we we want you to sing open the show with a national anthem.

我当时就说，好吧。

And I was like, okay.

然后这事就不了了之了。

And then it just went away.

那本来该多有意思啊？

Wouldn't that have been fun?

哦，你是想让我来唱吗？

Oh, you want me to do it?

就唱一次。

Just one.

就

Just

一点点？

a little bit?

我去过...我甚至...我其实...我都不确定从那以后我是否还做过这件事。

I went to I haven't even I don't I don't really, like, think I've even ever done it since then.

说。

Say.

够了。

That's enough.

对吧？

Right?

太美了。

Beautiful.

真美。

Beautiful.

谢谢。

Thank you.

是那些面孔。

It's the faces.

对。

Yeah.

是那些面孔和所需的时间。

It's the faces and it's the amount of time it takes.

是啊。

Yeah.

你知道吗？

You know what?

我们能聊聊这个吗？

Can we talk about that for a second?

谈谈你是怎么开始唱国歌的。

Talk about how that came to be, you singing the national anthem.

那里

There

或者是你的角色

was Or your character.

我的角色帕梅拉·贝尔，说清楚点

My character Pamela Bell, let's be clear.

你知道吗？

You know what?

在SNL的整个期间，我很少有好点子

I rarely All the time that we were at SNL, I rarely had good ideas.

那不是真的

That's not true.

就像，当你有个想法时，你会觉得做这个会很有趣

Like, you know when you have an idea and you're like, this is gonna be fun to do.

或者也许我该说得更清楚些

Or maybe I maybe I should be more clear.

我总是对角色的构思有想法，嗯哼。

I always have ideas for characters Mhmm.

但我从未真正对短剧有清晰的构思。

But I never really had clear ideas for sketches.

而这个故事有开头、中间和结尾。

And this one was like beginning, middle, and end.

因为在九号编剧室里，某天有人在看——我记得是重写之夜，当时《美国偶像》正在播出。

And it's because in the writer's Room on nine, at some point, someone was watching, I think it was like a rewrite night and American Idol was on.

他们会做这些总结片段，我想大概是棒球...我不确定，世界...我也说不清。

And they do these wrap ups and I think it was like base I don't know, World I don't know.

和棒球有关的什么内容。

Something with a baseball.

然后他们让人唱《带我去看棒球赛》。

And, they had people singing Take Me Out to the Ballgame.

有个女孩当时说，

And this one girl said,

给我买些电子坚果和苹果麦圈。

buy me some e nuts and apple jacks.

就这样。

And that was it.

我当时想，来了来了。

I was like, here we go.

电子坚果和苹果麦圈。

E nuts and apple jacks.

哦，天哪。

Oh, goddamn.

但说实话，这就像是

But it was honestly like

我知道。

I know.

电子坚果和苹果电子坚果

E nuts and apple E nuts

还有紫色的混蛋。

and purple jerks.

我只是...这真是...那一刻我...除了我们做《布朗克斯节奏》的时候，我从未有过这种感觉，那是唯一一次我做了些完全不在计划内的事。

I just It's just It was such a moment to be I I've never been other than when we did Bronx Beat, that was the only other time where I've like done something that wasn't completely on the cards.

是啊。

Yeah.

因为《布朗克斯节奏》是唯一一次我真的觉得我们...我做了些随性的事。

Because bronze beat's the only time I really feel like we were I ever did anything loose.

是啊。

Yeah.

是啊。

Yeah.

她就是这么说的。

That's what she said.

她就是这么说的。

That's what she said.

玛雅，我不知道你有没有听到罗恩和我谈论你，

Maya, I don't know if you heard Ron talk and I talking about you,

但是什么？

but What?

没有。

No.

你知道吗

Did you know

罗恩会去那里吗？

Ron was gonna be there?

我

I

其实直到走进房间看到他坐在那里才知道。

actually didn't until I walked in the room and he was sitting there.

真的，我们只需要关上门就行了。

Literally, all we needed to do was close the door.

我没能完成这件事。

I couldn't get that done.

关不上门，我就说，嘿，罗恩。

Couldn't close I was like, hey, Ron.

你在这儿干什么？

What are you doing here?

我只是以为他

I just thought he

在闲逛。

was hanging out.

他住在方达这里。

He lives here at the Fonda.

你，你最近在方达这里表演过或来过吗？

You, have you have you performed here or been here at the Fonda recently?

这里。

Here.

我打赌我最近是为了Geese的演出才来这儿的。

I bet I was here recently for the Geese show.

哦。

Oh.

是啊。

Yeah.

噢。

Oh.

哦，Cameron Winter。

Oh, Cameron Winter.

对。

Yeah.

噢。

Oh.

没错。

Yeah.

是啊。

Yeah.

如果他在这里怎么办？

What if he's here?

哦，他还在这里。

Oh, he's still here.

天啊，卡梅隆。

Oh my god, Cameron.

是你觉得

Was it did you feel

当你身处实体中时很酷吗？

cool when you were in physical?

哦，感觉

Oh, felt

太酷了。

so cool.

我确实带了耳塞。是的。

I did bring ear plugs Yeah.

因为我53岁了。

Because I'm 53.

但那笑声真是震耳欲聋。

But that was a huge laugh.

但我真的很爱他们，当时逼自己出门特别艰难。

But I I love them a lot, and it was really hard to make myself go out.

我明白。

I know.

你几点必须出门的？

What time did you have to go out?

我不

I don't

知道。

know.

他们是几点开始的？

What time did they go on?

我不知道。

I don't know.

你不——你真的不记得了。

You don't you really don't remember.

是晚上10点吗？

Was it 10PM?

谁知道呢？

Who knows?

这这这简直就像

It it it literally, like

现在几点了？

What time is it?

你当时戴着睡帽

You had a sleeping cap on

还有蜡烛，你当时说，是啊，阿尔扎勒。

and a candle, and you were like, yeah, Arzale.

我穿着睡袍呢。

I have my nightgown on.

有只鹅在上面。

There's a geese on.

雅各布·马利，是你吗？

Jacob Marley, is that you?

我听到你的锁链声了。

I hear your chain.

我在看鹅展。

I am at a geese show.

虽然很晚了，但完全值得，因为他们太棒了，表演太精彩了。

It was very late, but it was totally worth it because they're so good and they're so exciting.

你也知道，我对糟糕的音乐会很暴躁，但他们实在太优秀了，无论是创作、写歌还是表演都才华横溢，让我心甘情愿出门。

And as you know, I get really grumpy when music is bad, and they're so good, and they're so talented at making music and writing music, performing music that I was happy to leave my house.

哦，那太好了。

Oh, that's great.

我是说，离开家确实不容易。

I mean, it is hard to leave your house.

出门很难，我很感激你能来。

It it's hard to go out, and I appreciate that you're here.

就这样。

Period.

是的。

Yes.

我真的很感激。

And I really do.

而且我想聊聊

And I wanna talk

关于音乐的事，以及你和它的关系。

to you about music because, and your relationship to it.

我想从你是个加州女孩这个事实开始聊起，就像我问罗恩时说的，他是个加州男孩。

And I wanna start with the fact that you are, as I asked Ron, he's a California boy.

你是个加州女孩。

You're a California girl.

我们之前和伟大的杰克·布莱克做过一次精彩访谈，他说你是他高中认识的最酷的人。

And we had an we had a great interview with the great Jack Black, who said that you were the coolest person he knew in high school.

他真这么说的？

He said that?

是的。

Yes.

你没听我的播客吗？

Do you not listen to my podcast?

我有听，只是还没听完他那期。

I do, but I didn't listen to his episode yet.

你听过的。

You did.

我们把你夸得太狠了。

We've glazed you so hard.

等等。

Wait.

什么？

What?

今晚Glazed Goody回家。

Glazed Goody home tonight.

我觉得这很有趣。

I it's funny.

我差点在讨论国歌时提到他的名字，因为当我第一次唱它时——首先，关于Jack有太多可聊的了。确实。

I almost said his name when we were talking about the national anthem because when I was singing it on first of all, there's so much to talk about when it comes to Jack because Sure.

我从14岁就认识他了。

I've known him since I was 14.

我们在学校相识，他让我的生活变得更美好。

And I met him in school, and he changed my life for the better.

而且，你知道，当你遇到和你志同道合的人时，而他当时是新来的。

And, you know, when you find people and you both speak the same language, and he was new.

他比他大几岁，是转学过来的。

He he was a couple years older, he had transferred to the school.

我想我的戏剧老师当时说，

And I think my drama teacher was like,

你们应该多相处。

you guys should should hang out.

他曾在即兴表演比赛中指导我和几个闺蜜。

He was he coached me in an improv competition, me and a couple girlfriends.

我们立刻就产生了音乐上的共鸣。

And we just, like, spoke music the same way right away.

我们都热爱鲍比·麦克费林，当时我认识的14岁孩子里没人喜欢他。

We both, like, had an a love for Bobby McFerrin, and I don't I didn't know any 14 year olds that liked Bobby McFerrin.

但每当我唱国歌时，特别是唱到高潮部分，总会想起杰克。

But when I was doing the national anthem, especially when I go, I always think about Jack.

在我小时候，他带我去看了第一场Groundlings演出，向我展示了这个全新的世界。

He brought me to my first groundlings show when I was a kid and showed me this whole world.

我我甚至没想过最终会去到那里，而这一切又引领我遇见了你，真的，说实话。

I I didn't even imagine I'd end up being there and that would lead me to you, really, honestly.

我是说，他改变了我的生活，但人生中能遇到这样的人实在太少了——当你毫无预兆地遇见一个将对你的生活产生如此积极影响的人时，你会感到无比幸运，而他真是个超级有趣的活宝。

I mean, he changed my life, but there's just so few people that you can you you feel so lucky when you have those moments where you had no idea you were gonna meet someone that was gonna gonna be such a positive influence on your life, and he's such a great goof.

你们俩接过吻吗？

Did you guys ever kiss?

没有。

No.

我想过。

I wanted to.

还有机会呢。

There's still time.

真的，第三幕开始了，宝贝。

Really Act three, baby.

我在想我们

I wonder if we

或许在某个类似

did maybe in like a like a

在戏里吗？

In a play?

嗯，我演过他的女朋友。

Well, I played his girlfriend.

还有布雷特·摩根，他后来成为了一位出色的纪录片导演，当时也和我们同校。

And like, Bret Morgan, who ended up becoming an incredible documentary filmmaker, he went to our school.

我知道大家想象中私立学校都是教室里的场景。

I know everyone's like, in classrooms, it's like private school.

但那所学校真的超级棒，充满创意又酷毙了。

Like, it was such a fucking great, creative, cool school.

那里充满朋克精神，古怪又艺术，我还选修了电影课和即兴表演课。

It was so punk and weird and artistic, and I took film classes and improv.

杰克在我八年级时就让我提前参加了即兴表演课。

Jack got me into the improv class early when I was in eighth grade.

本来应该九年级才能上，但他帮我搞定了。

You're supposed to be in ninth, and he got me in.

八年级？

Eighth grade?

是的。

Yes.

然后你就说，嘿，各位。

And you're like, hey, you guys.

嘿。

Hey.

我有些即兴发挥的东西。

I got something improvably.

然后你就开始即兴表演了。

And you were like, improvising.

你当时就像，亲爱的，我下班回来了，还拿着你的小公文包。

You were like, honey, I'm home from work with your little briefcase.

糖果是不是很蠢？

Isn't candy stupid?

玩具厂里辛苦的一天。

Tough day at the toy factory.

哦，天哪。

Oh, boy.

不记得了。

Don't remember.

他扮演了

He played

他的女朋友。

his girlfriend.

好的。

Okay.

你还和格温妮丝一起上过学。

And you also went to school with Gwyneth.

是的。

Yes.

在小学的时候。

When elementary school.

和格温妮丝·帕特洛一起上小学。

Elementary school with Gwyneth Paltrow.

对。

Yeah.

那你们接吻了吗？

And What did you guys kiss?

我们接过吻。

We kissed.

没有。

No.

开个玩笑。

Just kidding.

你们确实接吻了。

You guys did kiss.

是啊。

Yeah.

我们确实接吻了。

We did.

好吧。

Okay.

很好。

Good.

我就知道是这样。

That's what I thought.

没错。

Yep.

我们一起去过圣奥古斯丁学校，那是在十字路小学真正拥有小学部之前的前身。

We went to Saint Augustine together, which was a it was the elementary of Crossroads before Crossroads really had an elementary.

那是在一个叫海边圣奥古斯丁的教堂里。

It was in this church called Saint Augustine by the Sea.

是的，我们关系非常亲密。

And yeah, and we were very close.

而且很奇妙的是，我们的父亲是大学同学，所以我们之间有种家族纽带。

And and weirdly, our dads went to college together, so we had kinda like a family bond.

六年级之后，她去了纽约。

And then after sixth grade, she went to New York.

但是...你童年时...

But And do you Childhood.

你还记得在那个时期，和你那些出色、艺术气息浓厚、时髦又美好的父母在一起的第一次经历吗？

Do you remember your first time in that time period with, like, your wonderful, artistic, beautifully groovy parents?

你还记得当你

Do you remember when you

第一次看《周六夜现场》？

first saw SNL?

我确实记得偷偷溜进父母的房间，假装胃疼或者就说我睡不着之类的。

I really do remember sneaking into my parents' room and faking like a stomach ache or or just like I can't go to I can't sleep or something.

这就是我小时候说话的方式。

That's how I talked when I was a kid.

我睡不着。

I can't sleep.

而我父母那时还很年轻。

And I my parents were young.

我是说，他们可能才二十多岁。

I mean, they were probably in their twenties.

嗯。

Mhmm.

而且他们确实是的。

And they were yeah.

他们在看节目。

They were watching the show.

我想我记得看到的是陆地鲨鱼。

And I I think I saw the land shark is what I remember.

哦。

Oh.

但是

But

对你们来说，是切维·切斯扮演的。

For those of you Chevy Chase put on him.

有个人叫切维·切斯。

There was a man named Chevy Chase.

他当时在《周末新闻》节目里。

And he was on Update.

你只需要知道这些就够了。

That's all you need to know.

然后一条鲨鱼会进来。

And a shark would come in.

他会抓住他们并逮住他们。

And he'd grab them and get them.

是啊。

Yeah.

地精剧团。

Groundlings.

你提到了地精剧团。

You mentioned groundlings.

当你在即兴小品喜剧剧场Groundlings首演时，你的新生班里都有谁？

When you were at the Groundlings premiere improv sketch comedy theater, who was in your freshman class?

那时候你和谁在一起？

Who were you with at the time?

我有一群最不可思议的人。

I had the most unbelievable group of people.

我们亲爱的朋友艾米丽·斯派维，后来我们在SNL共事多年，我就是在那里认识她的。

So our beloved dear friend, Emily Spivey, who we wrote with for many, many years at SNL, I met Emily there.

还有我的朋友纳特·法克森（现在出演《loot》）、吉姆·拉什、谢丽尔·海因斯、梅丽莎·麦卡西、本·法尔科内。

My friend, Nat Faxon, who's on loot, my friend, Jim Rash, Cheryl Hines, Melissa McCarthy, Ben Falcone.

天啊。

Oh my god.

我漏了谁？

Who am forgetting?

乔丹·布莱克。

Jordan Black.

他在吗？

Were there?

威尔·福特。

Will Forte.

乔丹·布莱克。

Jordan Black.

是的。

Yeah.

威尔是我们组的。

Will was in our group.

谁

Who

还有谁？

else?

糟糕。

Shit.

这听起来会很糟糕，因为我记不起大家的名字了。

This is gonna sound really bad when I can't remember people's names.

这样正好。

That's perfect.

这样可以吗？

Is that good?

是啊。

Yeah.

太棒了。

That's great.

瑞秋·哈里斯。

Rachel Harris.

对。

Yeah.

天啊。

Oh my god.

我还在说话呢。

I'm still talking.

我们当时有一群非常了不起的人。

We had an un we we had an unbelievable group of people.

现在有了这么多经验后，你喜欢什么？

And what did you like, now with a lot of perspective.

对吧？

Right?

那时在那个空间创作那种艺术，你最大的收获或最棒的事情是什么？

What what was the biggest takeaway, the best thing about being in that space, making that kind of art at that time?

绝对是意识到我倾听自己并找到了志同道合的人——你也这么评价过我，我知道这是真的，尤其因为你很擅长读懂人心。

Absolutely knowing that I listened to myself and found my people and that I liked and you've said this about me, and I know it to be true, especially because you're so good at reading people.

我喜欢和朋友在一起玩乐。

I like to be with my friends and have fun.

我知道这听起来很蠢，但这确实是做即兴表演和喜剧小品的绝佳方式。

And I know that sounds stupid, but it's such a great way to do improv and sketch.

我喜欢走进房间时看到大家聚在一起——当周围都是我喜欢的人时，我会感到无比快乐。

It I like to, like I like to come in the room when people are hanging when there's a group of people that I really like, it makes me so happy.

这让我觉得自己真的很有趣或更有趣，这种氛围会给我能量。

And then it makes me feel like I'm actually funny or funnier, and it it fuels me.

我喜欢沉浸在这种氛围中。

I I like to be in the in the mix of it.

是啊。

Yeah.

玛雅，请允许我代表你，也关于你，说几句。

You Maya, if I may speak, for you, Maya, and about you.

‘乐趣’这个词看似简单，实则不然，因为它真正关乎的是一种共享的集体能量感。

The word fun feels like like, you know, it's like a it feels like a not a complex word, but it is because it's really about this idea of, like, a shared communal sense of energy.

而你热爱这种感觉。

And you love that.

确实如此。

I do.

我想说，我曾告诉罗恩，你是我见过最具天赋的表演者之一。

And I will say, you know, I said to Ron that you I think you're one of the most naturally gifted performers I've ever met.

我认为你是《周六夜现场》有史以来最浑然天成的优秀演员。

And I think you're the the most naturally best person at SNL that's ever been on the show.

艾米。

Amy.

这是真的，宝贝。

It's true, babe.

要在那个节目上表演，你得掌握很多技能。

You have to have a lot of skills to be on that show.

要在那个节目上混口饭吃，你得样样精通。

You gotta have a lot of skills to pay the bills on that show.

尤其是在直播电视中，你做到的非常重要的一点是：玛雅表演时我们从不紧张。

And one of the things that you do that is so important in live television especially is we are never nervous when Maya's performing.

我们从来不会为你担心。

Like, we're never worried about you.

我们的镜像神经元不会因为你表演时玩得很嗨而触发警报。

We're our mirror neurons aren't firing that you're like because you're like, when you perform, you're having a lot of fun.

是啊。

Yeah.

你看起来几乎是全场最放松、最不紧张的那个人。

It's almost like you're the most relaxed and the least nervous, or at least it seems that way.

看起来是这样。

Seems that way.

所以这不是真的吗？

So is that not true?

我当然会紧张，但我觉得我紧张的方式很有趣。

I definitely get nervous, but I think it's interesting how I get nervous.

而且我...我意识到这点是在疫情期间重返《周六夜现场》时，第一次扮演卡玛拉那次——那次效果还不错。

And that I I I realized it coming back to SNL during COVID the first time I I came to play Kamala, which was which worked the first time.

哦，天哪。

Oh, brother.

哦，天哪。

Oh, brother.

哦，天哪。

Oh, brother.

我...我忘记刚才要说什么了。

I, I lost my train of thought.

我们刚才在聊什么？

What were we talking about?

紧张。

Nervous.

那你紧张时是什么样子？

Well, how are you like when you're nervous?

我在那里的紧张感是不同的，因为我是自愿去的，而且我喜欢那种身临其境的感觉。

I I my nerves are different when I'm there specifically because I want to be there, and I like how present it is.

在那个房间里我确实会肾上腺素飙升，知道一切正在当下发生，还有那个房间的历史，所有这些。

And the I get I do get an adrenaline rush from being in that room and knowing that it's, like, happening in that very moment and the history of the room, like, all of it.

这些年来认识了房间里那么多工作人员，我的腋下出汗就是身体反应的标志。

And over the years, knowing so many of the people, so many of the crew in that room, that my armpit sweat is like how I know my body's reacting.

我不会发抖。

I'm not I don't tremble.

嗯。

Mhmm.

我确实会担心搞砸或者说错词，这种情况也确实发生过。

I I do I do get nervous about fucking up or stumbling words, and that has happened.

这种经历会让你印象深刻。

And that's something that sticks with you.

当你搞砸时，你会看向和你一起的人，有时候是我在场，然后你会觉得，哦，你没事的。

When you fuck up, you, like, look at, you know, whoever you're with, and me being sometimes and being like, oh, you're cool.

那种电流般的刺激感本身就是一种快乐。

Which is like the even the joy of the electricity of that.

但是，就像，甚至

But, like, even

你知道那种时刻吗，就是你迫不及待想说某句台词的时候。

you know how you you know how there's moments where you really you're like, I can't wait to say this line.

哦，不。

Oh, no.

甚至回到国歌那件事，记得吗，有句词我经常说，每次都会逗乐基南。

And even even back to the national anthem, remember, there was one line that I used to say, and I it would tickle Keenan.

嗯

Mhmm.

我当时唱得有点像惠特妮·休斯顿的风格，把'gave proof to the night'唱成了'give a little bit of proof'

And I was singing it kinda like Whitney Houston, and instead of saying, like, gave proof to the night, was saying like, give a little bit of proof.

每次我这么唱的时候，他就会笑出声

And every time I sang it, he would like go.

我很开心他觉得有趣，当时太兴奋反而没唱成

And I love that he was tickled by it, and I was so excited to do it that I didn't do it.

是啊

Yeah.

对啊

Yeah.

没错

Yeah.

这些小失误——最近一次演出记不清是哪场了，但我们在卡马斯的演出里我又嘴瓢了

And and those little slip ups, even most one of the most recent can't remember which one it was, but one of the most recent Kamas we did, I stumble.

你知道，你就是完全搞砸了。

You know, you just stumble Totally.

你的舌头，你的舌头就像，

Your tongue your tongue Like,

你的肾上腺素让你整个人都乱了套。

your adrenaline gets you all twisty.

是啊。

Yeah.

所以我讨厌那样。

So I hate that.

然后到了周日早上，你就会想，天啊。

And then and then Sunday morning, you're like, oh, god.

你一遍又一遍地听到它，却无法修正。

You just hear it again and again, and you can't fix it.

但其实从来没有人发现过。

But but no one ever knows.

比如，有一个人知道。

Like, one knows.

而且，没人在乎。

And also, nobody cares.

没人在乎。

Nobody cares.

我是说，除了他们自己，没人会注意任何事情。

I mean, no one's paying attention to anything except themselves.

我是说，现在都快九点差一刻了。

And I mean, it's almost quarter to nine.

我知道。

I know.

我们差不多该上床睡觉了。

We're almost in bed.

这太荒谬了。

And it's ridiculous.

我同意。

I agree.

所以你参加了《周六夜现场》最后三期的演出。

So you came into SNL for, like, the final three shows.

哦，第二十五季的最后三期。

Oh, of the twenty fifth season.

是的。

Yeah.

所以你是在非常... 对。

So you came in at the very Yeah.

你的试镜是什么样的，你还记得你的试镜吗？

What was your, audition like, and what do you remember of your audition?

我参加了一个试镜。

I did an audition.

贱人，那是... 哦，该死。

Bitch, that's Oh, shit.

我就知道。

I knew it.

我不喜欢我的水。

I don't love my water.

天啊。

Oh my god.

我在实验室里也把水打翻了。

I spilled my water in my lab too.

带电的

Electric

我的天。

Oh my god.

小心触电。

Get electrocuted.

我不喜欢我参加了试镜，但我最近才对劳伦说，如果我当时试镜了，我

I don't love that I did an audition, but I said to Lauren, very recently, if I had auditioned, I

很可能就不会出现在节目上了。

probably wouldn't have been on the show.

我当时没有准备好一个很棒的试镜。

I didn't have a very good audition ready to go.

我有很好的悬挂式纸巾。

I have good hang tissues.

餐巾纸？

Napkin?

这些是赛斯·梅耶斯同款优质悬挂纸巾。

These are the Seth Meyers good hang tissues.

赛斯·梅耶斯纪念纸巾，就是我让他哭那次用的。

The Seth Meyers memorial tissues when I made him cry.

真的吗？

Really?

你觉得你会搞砸吗

You think you would have blown it

如果你去试镜了？

if you auditioned?

是啊。

Yeah.

做。

Do.

我我从未可能想你不该问那些问题。

I I had never might wanna you don't need those questions.

不。

No.

不过你知道我们懂得怎么清理桌子，对吧？

You know, we know how to clean a table, though, don't we?

我是说，这是这是做

I mean, this is this is Do

你喜欢清理桌子吗？

you like cleaning tables?

我喜欢。

I do.

我爱它们。

I love them.

我爱它们。

I love them.

我喜欢好闻的喷雾。

I like a nice smelling spray.

哦，你用Windex吗？

Oh, do you use Windex?

哦，你知道吗？

Oh, you know what?

我不。

I don't.

你喜欢Windex吗？

Do you love Windex?

你他妈超爱Windex清洁剂对吧？

You fucking love Windex, don't you?

而且不是那种不含化学物质的新款

And not the new stuff that doesn't have the chemicals in

我喜欢那种不含化学成分的

I like the stuff that doesn't have the chemicals in it.

我知道

I know.

你太加州了

You're so California.

我他妈就是加州人

I'm fucking California.

我知道

I know.

嗯，就是这么回事

Well, that was the thing.

玛雅刚到《周六夜现场》时，那里的人分东海岸派和西海岸派。

When Maya arrived to SNL, there was, like, East Coast, West Coast people.

东海岸的人会说，

East Coast was like,

嘿。

hey.

你是从The Groundlings剧团来的？

You're from the Groundlings?

酷。

Cool.

有一点吧。

Little bit.

嗯，我刚到的时候，你已经在那儿了，但我当时不知道你才演了三场。

Well, I when I arrived, you were you had already been there, but I didn't know at the time for only three shows.

但这不是很疯狂吗？

But Isn't that crazy?

在季末加入是什么感觉？

It was so what was it like to come at the end of a season?

非常奇怪，那是个试用期。

It was very strange, and it was a trial period.

我当时寄了一些我的小品录像带给洛恩。

I had sent I, I had sent some, VHS tape of some of my sketches to to, to Lorne.

我

I

直接去他家。

Directly to his house.

直接去洛恩家，我当时大概55岁

Directly to Lorne's house, and I was like like, 55

公园大道。

Park Avenue.

那就像是一个试用期，烈火试炼。

It was like a like a trial period, trial by fire.

他们确实来过，来过Groundlings剧团。

They came to They they did come to, to the groundlings.

我想应该是蒂娜，可能还有迈克·舒梅克，天啊，记不清了。

Think I believe it was Tina and perhaps Mike Shoemaker and God, don't remember.

可能是史蒂夫·希金斯，他之前在那里见过我，我归功于他给了我这份工作。

Probably Steve Higgins, who had seen me there before, who I credit giving me my job.

阿门。

Amen.

哈利路亚。

Hallelujah.

永远改变了我的生活。

Changed my life forever.

你还记得接到要上节目的电话时你在哪里吗？

Do you remember where you were when you got the call that you were gonna be on the show?

我在家里。

I was at my house.

我以前住在拉奇蒙特村附近，就在拉奇蒙特酒庄拐角处的瑜伽馆旁边。

I used to live near Larchmont Village, around the corner from the yoga place in the Larchmont Wine and and Spirits.

是啊。

Yeah.

伟大的

Great sandwiches.

我说得对吧？

Am I right?

当我怀着大女儿的时候，我经常去那家瑜伽馆，就是为了之后能吃那里的三明治。

When I was pregnant with my oldest daughter, I used to go to that yoga place just so I could eat the sandwiches after.

它们真的很好吃。

They're really good.

你尝过吗？

Have you ever had them?

我要给你带一个。

I'm going get you one.

我没吃过。

I haven't.

我很想来一个。

I would love one.

不过，三明治，我现在已经不太感兴趣了。

Although, sandwiches, I'm not really into them anymore.

你不喜欢三明治吗？

You don't like sandwiches?

我对面包不太感冒了，你呢？

I'm not really into bread Have you grown out?

倒不是因为限制饮食。

Not as a restrictive thing.

就是觉得，总的来说太费事了。

I just like, in general It's a lot of work.

每次看到三明治，我就想，天啊，又是三明治。

When I see sandwiches, I'm like, oh, god, this sandwich.

比如，我们该怎么解决这个问题？

Like, how are we gonna get through this?

该怎么...我该怎么处理这个？

How are how am I gonna do this?

你会跟它说话吗？

Do you talk to it?

我会说

I go

你喜欢谈判吗？

You like negotiate?

但你知道我喜欢什么吗？

But you know what I do love?

我超爱那种人造毛毡场景。

I love a fake felt scene.

是啊。

Yeah.

你确实喜欢。

You do.

抱歉。

Sorry.

我们可以把这段剪掉。

We can cut this part out.

不行。

Nope.

我们能剪掉一些内容吗？

Can we cut cut things out?

嗯嗯。

Mm-mm.

大概不行。

Probably not.

看看这个毛毡三明治。

Look at this felt sandwich.