诡异的名人性行为与青少年讨厌屏幕上的性爱

难道是《七分钟天堂》死而复生了吗？

Could it be the return of Seven Minutes in Heaven back from the dead?

绝对不是。

Absolutely not.

不幸的是，我是阿里尔·卡普兰，《好在床上》不知怎的诡异地上了《七分钟天堂》的RSS订阅源。

Unfortunately, it is I, Ariel Kaplan, and Good in Bed has somehow eerily migrated to the seven minutes in heaven RSS feed.

但本质上还是同一个节目，只是没有米里亚姆了。

But it's basically the same show just without Miriam.

爱你，米里亚姆，如果你在外面听的话。

Love you, Miriam, if you're out there listening.

对目前在听的你们来说，你们可能是因为订阅了我之前的播客，或者通过我出色的社交媒体推广找到了这个节目。

To those who are currently listening, you probably found me because you were subscribed to my old podcast, or you found the show through my excellent social media marketing.

不管怎样，很高兴你们在这里。

Anyway, happy to have you here however you got here.

我想祝你们万圣节快乐。

And let me wish you a very happy Halloween, I guess.

这就是你们常说的那句话吗？

Is that the saying that you say?

向所有正在庆祝的人。

To all who are celebrating.

我要衷心感谢你们来到《Good in Bed》第五期，这档由我Ariel Kaplan主持的每周性新闻节目。

And I just wanna thank you so much for being here to episode five of Good in Bed, the weekly sex news show hosted by me, Ariel Kaplan.

我想我的简介里写着‘好色的犹太人’之类的。

I think my bio says horny Jewish, etcetera.

既然我们已经彼此熟悉了，那就进入本周的性新闻吧。

So now that we are familiar with each other, let's get into the sex news of the week.

等等。

Wait.

开玩笑的。

Just kidding.

在进入本周的新闻之前，我想我该解释一下这档节目发生了什么变化。

Before I get into the news you need to know this week, I guess I should explain what happened to the show.

跟你没关系，婊子。

None of your damn business, bitch.

是的。

Yeah.

跟你没关系。

None of your damn business.

我之前合作的那家网络公司倒闭了，之后我就太懒了，也处于震惊中，没能力独自继续做这个节目，因为我之前有个很棒的制片人海莉·卢比斯，我爱她。

The network that I was a part of closed down, and then I was just too lazy and in shock to do this all on my own because I had a lovely producer, Hailey Lubis, love her.

现在我又回归本源，自己制作节目了。

Now I'm getting back to my roots and self producing.

我已经有一段时间没在话筒前了。

I've been off the mic for a while.

我有点不自信，这可不是新听众应该听到的我。

I'm feeling a little not confident, which is not what new new listeners should be hearing from me.

但我感觉生疏了。

But I'm feeling rusty.

习惯吧。

Get used to it.

开玩笑的。

Just kidding.

别习惯啊。

Don't get used to it.

我现在秉持成长型思维，有一些非常令人兴奋的新项目即将推出。

I'm in a growth mind mindset, and I've got some really exciting stuff coming, some new projects.

不是项目。

Not projects.

是项目。

Project.

随便吧。

Whatever.

也许确实是多个项目。

Maybe it is projects.

我不知道。

I don't know.

我好久没上麦克风了，现在有点紧张。

It's been a while since I've been on the mic, and I'm quite nervous.

但熟能生巧。

But practice makes perfect.

对吧？

Right?

就像性生活一样。

Just like sex.

因为第一次和任何人做都是最糟糕的。

Because the first time is always the worst with anyone.

随着你逐渐了解彼此的身体，情况会越来越好。

It only gets better as you learn each other's bodies.

所以把这一点应用到这里。

So just apply that to here.

我要重新学习怎么使用麦克风。

I'm gonna learn how to use the microphone again.

今天是单人节目，我给你们准备了一些万圣节主题的故事。

Today's a solo episode, and I've got some Halloween themed stories for you guys.

但随着节目发展，我会邀请嘉宾，比如喜剧演员、网红、性学研究者。

But as the show evolves, I'm gonna have guests on, comedians, influencers, sex researchers.

我们开始吧。

Let's get into it.

我最喜欢的万圣节故事是：那些和鬼魂发生过关系的名人。

With my favorite story to share on Halloween, celebrities who have fucked ghosts.

幽灵恋，指的是鬼魂与人类之间的性接触。

Spectrophilia, sexual encounters between ghosts and people.

我们先从凯莎说起。

And we're starting off with Kesha.

2012年，凯莎在康南节目中说，她和一个鬼魂‘进入了骨区’。

In 2012, Kesha told Conan that she quote unquote went to the bone zone with a ghost.

她不知道他的名字，但他出现在她家里，直接开始抚摸她。

She didn't know his name, but he was in her house and he quote, just started like caressing me.

那是一段很性感的时光，但并不是真正的性行为。

It was a sexy time, but it wasn't like sex.

好吧，Kesha。

Okay, Kesha.

Anna Nicole Smith 的故事要精彩得多。

Anna Nicole Smith has a way better story.

在2004年接受FHM采访时，Anna Nicole Smith说，她经历过的最刺激的性体验，是和一个幽灵在德克萨斯州的一间公寓里发生的，那个幽灵会爬到她腿上和她做爱。

In an interview with FHM in 2004, Anna Nicole Smith said the kinkiest sex she's ever had was with a ghost who quote, would crawl up my leg and have sex with me at an apartment in Texas.

我以前一直以为那是我男朋友，直到有一天早上醒来，发现他不见了。

I used to think it was my boyfriend and one day I woke up and it wasn't.

哦。

Oh.

那是个灵体，嗖的一下就消失了。

It was like a spirit and it, whoo, went up.

她模仿幽灵从床单上飞起来的样子。

She was mimicking a a ghost flying from her bedsheets.

她说，我当时被吓到了，但后来我想，你知道吗？

She says, I was freaked out about it, but then I was like, well, you know what?

他从未伤害过我，而且他给了我很棒的性体验，所以我一点也不介意。

He's never hurt me and he just gave me some amazing sex so I have no problem.

他从未伤害过我。

He's never hurt me.

这太可怜了。

That is so sad.

采访者问安娜·妮可·史密斯这是否是梦，她说：‘这不是梦，宝贝，因为它每晚都在发生。’

The interviewer asked Anna Nicole Smith if it was a dream, and she said, it was not a dream, bitch, because it was happening every night.

有一晚，快天亮时，正是我男朋友去上班的时候，我醒了过来，因为我感觉有什么东西沿着我的腿爬上来，我看到了。

One night at almost daylight, and that was the time my boyfriend went to work, I had woken up because I felt it coming up my leg and I saw it.

我告诉了我男朋友，但他不相信我。

I told my boyfriend and he didn't believe me.

当然了，男人，她叹气道。

Of course, men, she sighed.

我不觉得这是男人特有的事。

I don't think that's like a man thing.

另一方面，#相信所有女性。

On the other hand, hashtag believe all women.

可可·奥斯汀，奥斯汀，一位真人秀明星，更广为人知的身份是Ice T的妻子，她相信鬼魂，只因为她遇到过一个下流的鬼。

Coco Austin, Austin, who was a reality TV star, but more famously to me Ice T's wife, believes in ghosts only because she had a perverted ghost.

她说：‘我正在看电视。’

Quote, I was watching TV.

我早上十一点坐在沙发上，穿着睡裙，感觉裙子被往上拉。

I was sitting on the couch at 11AM, and I was wearing a nightie, and I felt my dress move up my leg.

我低头一看，吓坏了。

I looked down and got freaked out.

我把它推了回去。

I pushed it down.

她推开了它，一个幽灵。

She pushed it, a ghost.

我看着电视，又感觉到了，眼看着衣服被往上拉，然后我感觉到有人在我耳边呼吸。

Watched TV, felt it again, and I could see it being pulled up, and then I felt a guy breathing in my ear.

我没见过多少幽灵，因为我相信因为Ice不相信，所以它们都吓跑了。

I haven't seen many ghosts because I think with ice not believing that it scares them away.

那个幽灵从阿尔伯克基跟着我到了亚利桑那，但没跟到纽约。

The ghost followed me from Albuquerque to Arizona but not to New York, unquote.

幽灵不是应该停留在它们死去的地方吗？

Isn't the thing with ghosts that they stay in the place that they're that they died?

《霹雳娇娃》中的卢克·刘对《US周刊》在1999年表示，某种来自不知何处的灵魂与她发生了亲密关系。

Lucy Liu of Charlie's Angels fame told US Weekly in 1999 that some sort of spirit came down from God knows where and made love to her.

那感觉，简直是极致的愉悦。

It was, quote, sheer bliss.

我感受到了一切。

I felt everything.

然后他就飘走了，引号结束。

And then he floated away, unquote.

这太美了。

That's beautiful.

一场美丽的一夜情。

A beautiful one night stand.

博比·布朗，即惠特妮·休斯顿的前夫，在他2016年的书《每一步》中写道，他经常看到白人女性从他那栋闹鬼的老房子里的走廊走过。

Bobby Brown, aka Whitney Houston's ex, wrote in his 2016 book, Every Little Step, My Story, that he would see white women walk down the hallway of his old haunted house.

有一次难忘的夜晚，其中一个鬼魂从天花板上降下来，和我发生了关系。

Quote, one memorable night, one of the ghosts descended from the ceiling and had sex with me.

你们笑完了吗？大家都笑了吗？

After you stop laughing was everybody laughing?

你得听清楚我说的话，因为我不是在编故事。

I need you to hear what I'm saying because I'm not making this up.

他可是真真切切地把这事写进书里了。

He's he's literally writing this in a book.

让我再补充一点。

And let me add this.

这发生在我接触任何药物之前，除了大麻和酒精。

This is before I ever touched any drugs besides weed and alcohol.

在我的卧室里，有一张大圆床，天花板是镜面的，悬在上方。

In my bedroom, I had a big rounded bed with a mirrored ceiling looming above.

我总是裸睡。

I always slept in the nude.

所以有一晚，我醒来时感觉到有个女人趴在我身上。

So one night, I woke up to the sensation of a woman on top of me.

我抬头一看，在镜子里，我真的看到一个白人女性骑在我床上。

I looked up and in the mirrors, I could actually see a white woman straddling straddling me on the bed.

那种感觉完全就像性行为。

The sensation felt exactly like sex.

我能感觉到我的阴茎在她体内，一切都很真实。

I could feel my penis inside of her and everything.

那不是梦。

It was not a dream.

发生的时候我绝对是醒着的。

I was definitely awake while it was happening.

突然间，她消失了，留下我一个人，既极度兴奋又无比恐惧。

All of a sudden, she was gone, leaving me alone and incredibly excited and terrified at the same time.

那就是我和男人发生关系后，他们的感觉。

That's how men feel after I have sex with them.

嗯，这可真引人入胜。

Well, that was all so riveting.

你知道，有名人好一阵子没承认过自己的窥镜癖了。

You know, a celeb hasn't confessed their spectrophilia in a minute.

所以我正等着这种事情发生。

So I'm waiting for that to happen.

更诡异的是，英国一具尸体原来是个非常脏、破损且被过度使用的性爱娃娃。

In more spooky news, a dead body turns out to be a very dirty, broken, and overused sex doll in England.

警察听说有个尸体，于是去调查了整整三十个小时。

The cops heard there was a dead body and they went to investigate it for, like, thirty hours.

最后他们发现那只不过是一个被过度使用的性玩具。

And at the end of it, they realized it was just a sex doll, overused sex doll.

这真是个糟糕的头条新闻。

It's a terrible headline.

又脏、又破、还被用得太频繁了。

Very dirty, broken, and overused.

真够阴暗的。

How grim.

警察们对此大笑了一番。

The police officers had a a great laugh about it.

现在说点不那么好笑的事。

Now here's something that's not funny.

我去了一家我认为是美国最大的性玩具店。

I went to, like, the largest sex toy store in America, I think.

它就在纽约市上西区的上上区。

It's like on the Upper Upper West Side, New York City.

那家店简直烂透了，我跟你说。

And it was a shit store, let me tell you.

但我和朋友去了，跟一位销售人员聊了聊。

But my friend and I went, we were talking to one of the salespeople.

她让我们摸了其中一个硅胶性爱娃娃，非常逼真，又脏又满是灰尘。

And she let us touch one of the silicone sex dolls, which was very realistic, like wild and dusty.

她告诉我们，曾经有个男人进来，问他们是否为性爱娃娃制作硅胶器官。

And she told us that one time a guy came in and he asked if they made organs for the sex dolls, like silicone organs.

和我们交谈的那个人说，她的老板回应了那个男人几句，然后那男人就跑掉了。

The person we were speaking to said that her boss said something back to the guy and then the guy just ran out.

我和我朋友一起的那位朋友把这事告诉了别人，对方说这其实挺常见的。

My friend who I was with told that to someone else and and they told her that that that it's pretty common.

我想，用性爱娃娃做些阴暗、邪恶、恐怖、谋杀般的事情，总比对真人这么做要好。

I guess it's better to use it with, like, to do creepy, villainous, horrendous, murderous things to a sex doll than a person.

但是，我觉得那只是个开端。

But, like, I feel like that's just gateway.

那么，本期的诡异故事环节就到此结束。

And that concludes the spooky portion of this episode.

接下来是研究发现：Z世代从屏幕性爱中获得满足，对浪漫关系毫无兴趣。

And now for study finds Gen z gets the from on screen sex wants no manse over romance.

无恋（Nomance）是这项研究的研究人员创造的一个术语，用来描述这种保守现象。

Nomance is the term that the researchers of the study have coined to describe this prude phenomenon.

在加州大学洛杉矶分校的青少年与屏幕调查中，超过一半的1500名受访青少年表示，他们希望在屏幕上看到更多柏拉图式的故事，因为媒体中浪漫情节已经过度饱和。

More than half of the 1,500 teens who participated in UCLA's teens and screen survey said they wanted to see more platonic stories on screen because the media is oversaturated with romance.

40%的受访者明确表示希望看到非浪漫关系以及更多无性恋角色。

40% said they specifically want non romantic relationships and more asexual characters.

研究人员认为疫情是导致这一现象的原因。

The researchers say that the pandemic is to blame.

根据研究人员斯蒂芬妮·里瓦斯·拉拉和希拉尔·科特查的说法，年轻人感到缺乏亲密友谊、与社区脱节，并且他们的数字公民身份认同已经超越了在现实世界中的归属感。

Young people feel a lack of close friendships, a separation from their community, and a sense that their digital citizen identity has superseded their sense of belonging in the real world according to researchers Stephanie Rivas Lara and Hiral Cotecha.

但他们继续说，年轻人并不是对含有性内容的电视剧、电影和其他媒体不感兴趣，而是希望看到更多样化的亲密关系类型。

But they continue, it's not that young people aren't interested in TV movies and other media with sexual content, it's that they wanna see more and different types of relationships.

我们并没有专门询问关于色情内容的问题，但一个可能的理论是，色情内容的泛滥可能是他们希望在传统媒体中看到更少性内容的原因。

We did not specifically ask about porn, but one theory could be that the prevalence of porn could be a reason why they feel they wanna see less sexual content in traditional media.

这简直是TikTok上常说的话，一个核心记忆。

A pretty core memory that's like a TikTok thing to say.

对吧？

Right?

核心记忆。

Core memory.

我上六年级的时候，和朋友们在家看《四十岁的处男》，那时候我们还很小。

I was watching The 40 Year Old Virgin at my house with my friends when we were in, like, sixth grade.

看的时候其实挺尴尬的。

And it actually was uncomfortable to watch.

我的意思是，我早就看过无数遍了，因为我有三个哥哥。

I mean, I I'd seen it a million times because I have three older brothers.

但我的朋友们都快吓坏了。

But my friends were kinda freaking out.

这个标题在新闻上真的炸开了。

This headline is really like blowing up on the news.

我认为这主要是因为那些保守的专栏作家说，Z世代要毁掉媒体。

And I think it's mostly because of the conservative columnists who were like, Gen z is gonna kill the media.

我们想要媒体中更多性内容。

We want more sex in the media.

你知道吗？

And you know what?

我也是。

Same.

Z世代真的是兄弟第一。

Gen z's really bros before hoes.

一项研究称，三分之二的女性认为自己太丑了，不配发生性关系。

Two in three women think they're too ugly for sex, study says.

在身体接纳周来临之际，约会应用Pure——顺便说一句，它的网站做得太棒了——对2000名用户进行了关于愉悦感和自信心的调查，发现每三个美国人中就有两个因为身体不自信而放弃性生活。

Ahead of Body Acceptance Week, dating app Pure, which has a sick website by the way, surveyed 2,000 users on pleasure and self confidence and found that two in three Americans give up on sex due to body insecurities.

身体接纳周的设立是为了帮助对抗饮食失调。

Body acceptance week was created to help combat eating disorders.

太好了。

Yay.

主要风险因素是身体不满，而这项研究表明，身体不满会导致人们想要回避性行为。

A main risk factor is body dissatisfaction, and this study shows that body dissatisfaction can lead to wanting to avoid sex.

我确实曾在感觉状态很差的时候拒绝过性行为。

I've definitely rejected sex when I was feeling shit.

实际上，我现在都在点头了，我有吗？

Actually, now I'm rocking my head, have I?

我确实曾经觉得自己不够性感，对自己的身体感到不自信。

Well, I've definitely felt not sexy, like insecure about my body.

我过去对自己的大小不一的胸部有很多不自信，但主要是对自己的体重。

I used to have a lot of insecurities around my lopsided tits, but mostly about my weight.

这里还有这项研究的一些结果。

Here's some more results from the study.

59%的女性因为觉得自己丑而拒绝了性行为。

Fifty nine percent of women rejected sex over feeling ugly.

真让人难过。

So sad.

20%的男性曾因不安全感而放弃性行为。

Twenty percent of men have bailed on sex due to insecurities.

好吧。

Okay.

关于阴毛的问题，73%的女性和61%的男性从未因伴侣的阴毛而感到反感。

On the topic of pubic hair, seventy three percent of women and sixty one percent of men have never been turned off by their partner's pubes.

我超爱阴毛。

I fucking love pubes.

我不知道你怎么样，但你告诉我吧？

I don't know about you, but why don't you let me know?

告诉我你对阴毛的看法。

Tell me how you feel about pubes.

你对自己身上的阴毛感觉如何？

How do you like them on yourself?

是长的、短的，还是别人身上的？

Long, short, on another person?

是阴茎还是阴道？

Penis or pussy?

告诉我吧。

Let me know.

直接进入节目。

Right into the show.

顺便说一下，邮箱是 goodinbedpodcast@gmail.com。

By the way, the email is goodinbedpodcast@gmail.com.

所以，我觉得 Spotify 上可以做一些投票。

So, I think there's some ways to do like polls on Spotify.

也许我会加上这一点。

Maybe I'll add that.

去检查一下是否在那里。

Check and see if it's there.

最后，91%的女性和72%的男性更喜欢伴侣自信，而不是拥有完美的身材。

Lastly, 91% of women and 72% of men prefer a partner to be confident over having a perfect body.

有意思。

Interesting.

所以我去了那个网站，Pure约会应用，真的非常棒。

So I went on the website, the Pure app dating website, and it was really, really cool.

感觉非常性积极。

Seemed super sex positive.

不过我不确定他们的用户基数有多大，所以你们不如下载试试看，或者不试也行？

I don't know how big of a user base they have though, so why don't you download and find out, I guess, or not?

我想我不会去的。

I I don't think I will be.

参与这项调查的人都是从Pure应用招募的。

The people who participated in the survey were all recruited from Pure App.

所以这些用户都使用约会应用。

So all of these users use dating apps.

我发现了一项有趣的研究，显示约会应用用户比非用户更不健康。

And I found an interesting study that showed that dating app users are unhealthier than nonusers.

这项研究来自2019年发表的《进食障碍杂志》，研究评估了17,600名美国成年人的约会应用使用情况和不健康的体重控制行为，包括催吐、使用泻药、禁食、节食药、健身前补充剂和类固醇。

This study comes from the Journal of Eating Disorders published in 2019, and the study assessed 17,600 and 49 US adults on their dating app use and unhealthy weight control behaviors, which includes vomiting, using laxatives, fasting, diet pills, pre workout, and anabolic steroids, just steroids.

他们发现，约会应用用户的不健康体重控制行为比非用户多出2.7到16.2倍，这很显然。

What they found was that dating app users had between two point seven and sixteen point two more UCWCB's, that's unhealthy weight control behaviors, duh.

所以，如果你使用约会应用，你更可能患上进食障碍或从事这些行为。

So if you use a dating app, you're more likely to have an eating disorder or engage in those behaviors.

现在，我认为这条新闻的最终启示是：别自己毁掉自己的吸引力。

Now I say the ultimate takeaway from this news item is don't cock block yourself.

身体不满是最大的吸引力杀手。

Body dissatisfaction is the ultimate cock block.

你为什么要这样对待自己？

Why do that to yourself?

你怎么才能对自己感觉更好？

How can you feel better about yourself?

也许你需要多自慰一下。

Maybe you need to masturbate more.

一个切实可行的做法是关注社交媒体上和你长相相似的人。

An actionable item is to follow people on social media who look like you.

几周前我确实看到一项研究。

I did see a study a couple weeks ago.

我手头没有所有数据，但我看到一项研究显示，关注那些身体积极或和你长相相似的女性（随便你怎么理解），有助于对抗整天刷Instagram上性感美女带来的负面身体不满。

I don't have all of the stats on me, but I saw the study that showed that following body positive women or or women who look like you, whatever, on social media helps combat the negative body dissatisfaction that comes from looking at hot bitches on Instagram all day.

该死的，你们这些性感美女。

Damn you hot bitches.

另外，雌性青蛙会装死来避免交配。

In other news, female frogs fake their death to avoid sex.

在一项名为《死亡之降：爆炸性繁殖青蛙中的雌性雄性回避》的新研究中，柏林自然历史博物馆的研究人员发现，爆炸性繁殖的青蛙雌性——特别是欧洲普通蛙——这些青蛙的下颌会变得特别大，如果你看视频的话会更容易理解，但我不确定现在有没有相关的视频。

In a new study titled Drop Dead, Female Male Avoidance in an Explosively Breeding Frog, Researchers from the Natural History Museum of Berlin found that female explosive breeding frogs, specifically the European common frog, these are the ones that like blow up, you know, this would be easier if you're watching the video, I don't even know if there is a video for this yet, but the ones that like their bottom mouth gets really big.

控告我吧，我又不是该死的生物学家。

Sue me, I'm not a fucking biologist.

这类青蛙会装死来避免强奸。

These types of frogs play dead to avoid rape essentially.

当青蛙交配时，多只雄性会死死抱住雌性，这种行为甚至可能导致雌性死亡。

When frogs mate, several males cling to the female in a death grip that can kill them.

这就像一场群交，一场强奸式的群交。

This is like a gangbang, like a rape gangbang.

以前，研究人员以为雌蛙要么对此很享受，要么就是被动接受。

Previously, researchers have thought that frogs were either female frogs were either into this or passive about it.

所以他们从未考虑过雌蛙其实并不喜欢这种行为。

So they didn't consider that they didn't like it.

他们要么觉得雌蛙是被这种群交行为激发了性欲，要么就认为雌蛙只是忍着为了怀孕。

They were either like, okay, they're sexually aroused by this gangbang or they're just taking it because they wanna get pregnant.

他们根本没想过，也许她们其实并不喜欢这样。

And they just didn't consider like maybe they actually don't like it.

但一项新研究发现了雌性青蛙避免非自愿交配的三种策略。

But a new study identifies three strategies the female frog uses to avoid an unwarranted gangbang.

在54只被交配（用科学术语称为‘抱合’）的青蛙中，83%的雌性青蛙使用旋转作为防御机制。

Out of the 54 frogs who were fucked or using the scientific word amplex, 83% of those female frogs use rotation as a defense mechanism.

这其实就是她翻转身体，让雄性青蛙无法插入。

And this is just when she like turns over, turns over her body so that the male frog can't penetrate her.

第二种最常用的方法是释放叫声，雌性青蛙会发出咕噜声或尖叫声。

The second use most strategy is a release call, where a female frog lets out a grunt or a squeak.

40%的青蛙会这样做。

And 40% of the frogs did that.

第三种是强直性不动，也就是装死。

The third one is tonic immobility, feigning death.

33%的青蛙会装死。

Thirty three percent of frogs play dead.

这是一个有趣的策略。

It's an interesting strategy.

我不知道这些策略有多有效，但我一直在想这些雌性青蛙。

I don't know how effective these are, but I'm thinking of these female frogs.

我以前觉得我男朋友自慰太多，但现在我意识到问题出在我自己身上。

I used to think that my boyfriend masturbated too much, but now I realize I'm the problem.

是的，我确实说了我男朋友，给忠实粉丝们澄清一下。

And yes, I did say my boyfriend, LA boyfriend for loyal fans.

如果你不够忠诚，你仍然可以变得忠诚。

If you're not loyal, you can still become loyal.

你只需要一口气听完四集。

There are only four episodes that you have to binge listen to.

我们正在约会，但我还没和他谈过我在节目中可以分享多少内容。

We're dating, and I haven't talked to him yet about how much I can share on the show.

所以这必须得谈一谈，因为真正、真正、真正忠实的粉丝都知道，我曾经因为乱说话而惹过麻烦。

So that will have to be a discussion because really, really, really loyal fans will know that I have gotten in trouble for talking shit.

开玩笑的。

Just kidding.

我非常爱他。

I love him so much.

绝对不会有脏话。

There would never be any shit talk.

我只是不知道他是否希望我分享我们性生活的疯狂程度。

I just don't know if he wants me to share how freaky our sex is.

如果你在听，亲爱的，我非常爱你。

And if you're listening, sweetheart, I love you so much.

一项发表在《性行为档案》上的新研究，题为《实际与期望的自慰频率、性困扰及其相关因素》，深入探讨了自慰的世界。

In a new study published in the archives of sexual behavior entitled actual and desired masturbation frequency, sexual distress and their correlates, researchers dive into the world of masturbation.

这项研究不仅仅关于男性。

So this study isn't just about men.

它涉及男性和女性。

It's about men and women.

许多研究表明，自慰有助于缓解性功能障碍。

There are a lot of studies that show that masturbating can help with sexual dysfunctions.

其他研究发现，自慰可能导致负面后果，比如射精过多。

And other studies find that it can lead to negative consequences such as too much cum.

这不叫自慰成瘾。

It's not called masturbation addiction.

这叫自慰强迫症或强迫性自慰，就是你根本停不下对射精的念头。

It's called masturbation compulsion or compulsive masturbation, where you just can't stop thinking about cumming.

这才是问题所在。

That's when it's a problem.

一项针对12271名18至49岁芬兰男女的调查，询问了他们的自慰频率、期望自慰频率、性困扰、童年性虐待经历、性积极的家庭背景、抑郁和焦虑症状。

Twelve thousand two hundred and seventy one Finnish men and women ages 18 to 49 were surveyed on their masturbation frequency, desired masturbation frequency, sexual distress, childhood sexual abuse, sex positive family background, depression, and anxiety symptoms.

以下是调查结果。

And here are the results.

男性自慰频率高于女性。

Men masturbate more than women.

当然了。

Duh.

男性平均每周自慰3.18次。

Men masturbated on average of 3.18 times a week.

那意味着什么？

What does that mean?

那点一八又是什么意思？

What does that point one eight mean?

我太想知道答案了。

I'm dying to know.

女性平均每周自慰1.62次，但男性的性困扰程度并不比女性更高。

Women masturbated 1.62 times a week on average, but the men did not feel more sexual distress than women.

自慰的频率并不能预测性困扰的程度。

The quantity of how much you masturbate does not predict sexual distress.

真正起作用的是你对自慰的感受。

It's how you feel about your masturbation that does.

总的来说，无论男女，那些自慰次数超过自己意愿的人经历了更多的性困扰。

Overall, among both men and women, those who masturbated more than they wanted to experienced more sexual distress.

8.3%的男性和2.7%的女性经历了这种情况。

Eight point three percent of men experienced this, and two point seven percent of women.

所以这个比例很低，算是挺好的了。

So this is this is a low percentage, which is pretty good.

这还是针对芬兰人而言的，我觉得在美国，性罪恶感要多得多。

This is also among Finnish people, and I feel like in America, there's a lot more sexual guilt.

需要注意的是。

Caveat.

对于那些自慰频率高于平均男性的男性和高于平均女性的女性，2%的男性和0.6%的女性经历了自我感知的性困扰。

For men and women who masturbated more than the average man or woman, two percent of men and point six percent of women experienced self perceived sexual distress.

但那些自慰频率低于平均水平的人中，6.3%的男性和2.1%的女性也经历了自我感知的有问题的自慰行为。

But of people who masturbated less than the average person, six point three percent of men and two point one percent of women also experienced self perceived problematic masturbation.

最后，自我感知的有问题的自慰与童年性虐待、抑郁和焦虑呈正相关，与性积极的家庭背景呈负相关。

Lastly, self perceived problematic masturbation was positively associated with childhood sexual abuse, depression, and anxiety, and negatively associated with a sex positive family background.

总之，如果你觉得自己自慰过度，应该探究为什么会有这种感觉，或许可以寻求心理咨询。

In sum, if you think that you're masturbating too much, you should investigate why you feel that way and maybe seek therapy.

因为自慰和你认为的一样正常。

Because masturbation is as normal as you think it is.

这都是你脑子里的想法，宝贝。

It's all in your head, babe.

有时候人们确实自慰过多，我想，根据互联网的说法。

Sometimes people do masturbate too much, I guess, according to the Internet.

以下是根据Healthline网站判断你是否真的自慰过度的方法。

So here's how to know if you actually are masturbating too much according to Healthline.

如果你总是想着自慰，停不下来，工作时分心等等，那你就是自慰过度了，除非你是青少年。

If you think about masturbating all the time, you can't stop thinking about it, you're distracted at work, etcetera, you're masturbating too much unless you're a teenager.

我青少年时，满脑子想的都是放学后回家自慰，但我觉得这根本不是问题，Healthline。

When I was a teenager, all I thought about was leaving school to masturbate at home and I don't think that's a problem, health line.

如果你因为自慰而迟到，那你就是自慰过度了。

If you are late to events because you're masturbating, you're masturbating too much.

如果你因为等不及回家而在公共场合自慰，那你自慰得太多了。

If you jerk off in a public place because you can't wait to get home, you're masturbating too much.

不过我以前在飞机上自慰过。

I have masturbated on a plane before though.

所以去你的吧，健康线。

So fuck you, health line.

如果你即使不感到性欲时也自慰，那你自慰得太多了。

If you jerk off even when you're not horny, you're masturbating too much.

我不确定这一点。

I don't know about that one.

有些人自慰只是为了助眠。

Some people masturbate just like to fall asleep.

我不太认同这些说法。

I don't know about these.

如果你在感到愤怒、焦虑、压力或悲伤等负面情绪时自慰，那你自慰得太多了。

If you masturbate when you feel negative emotions like anger, anxiety, stress, or sadness, you're masturbating too much.

我承认，也许吧。

I will give them that, maybe.

如果你感到内疚、痛苦或不安，那你自慰过度了。

If you feel guilty, distressed, or upset, you're masturbating too much.

现在，Healthline，我们知道这一点是错的，因为这项新研究。

Now Healthline, we know that one's wrong because of this new study.

这项新研究之所以重要，正是因为强迫性自慰不应当仅仅由性罪恶感或情绪低落来定义。

That's why this new study is so important because compulsory masturbation shouldn't necessarily be defined by feeling sexual guilt or being upset.

你之所以有这种感觉，背后有根本原因。

There's a root cause of why you feel that way.

所以保持冷静，继续享受吧。

So keep calm and keep on coming.

非常感谢大家的收听。

Thank you guys so much for listening.

迫不及待想变得更好、更快、更强、更有魅力。

Can't wait to continue to get better, faster, stronger, sexier.

我真期待你们在床上表现得出色。

I can't wait for you guys to be good in bed.

所以继续听下去。

So keep listening.

留下一个评价。

Leave a review.

告诉那些被新闻循环搞得发疯的人，这个节目正是他们需要的解压良方。

Tell everyone who is going crazy from the news cycle that this is the show they need to listen to as a palate cleanser.

好了，各位。

Okay, guys.

谢谢收听。

Thanks for listening.

下周再来听《Good in Bed》的另一期节目。

Tune in next week for another episode of Good in Bed.

哦，我的朋友杰米在给我打电话。

Oh, my friend Jamie's calling me.

我真的得走了。

I really gotta go.

请给五星好评。

Rate five stars.

爱你们。

Love you.