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直接问我吧。
Just ask me.
我是克莱尔·帕克。
I'm Claire Parker.
我是阿什利·汉密尔顿。
And I'm Ashley Hamilton.
这里是名人回忆录读书会。
And this is Celebrity Memoir Book Club.
这个播客里，我们把路上丢弃的每一件破烂家具捡起来，掸掉灰尘，刷上新漆，换上新的旋钮和滑轮，然后说我们创造出了全新的东西。
The podcast where we are taking every piece of absolute garbage furniture left by the side of the road, brushing it off, putting a fresh coat of paint on there, changing the little knob pulleys, and saying we've created something completely new
好吧。
Okay.
而且更漂亮了。
And prettier.
我们读这些回忆录，是为了让你不用读。
We're reading the memoirs so that you don't have to.
我们可能很有趣，也可能很刻薄。
And we may be funny and we may be snarky.
如果这不是你的菜，请理解。
And if that's not your thing, understand.
但你已经提前收到警告了，所以别生气。
But you've been warned, so don't get mad.
阿什利，这周我们打算聊谁？
Ashley, who are we thinking this week?
这周，我想感谢EverlyWell。
This week, I would like to thank EverlyWell.
EverlyWell是一款专为你设计的数字医疗服务，价格实惠且透明。
EverlyWell is a digital health care designed for you and all at an affordable and transparent price.
通过30多种居家实验室检测，你可以选择最适合你的检测项目，以获得你需要的答案，比如女性健康检测或食物敏感性检测。
With over 30 at home lab tests, you'll be able to choose the test that makes the most sense for you to get the answers you need, like the women's health test or the food sensitivity test.
EverlyWell正在提供特别优惠：访问 everlywell.com/worm 可享受居家实验室检测8折优惠。
Everly Well is offering a special discount of 20% off at home lab tests at everlywell.com/worm.
克莱尔，是的。
Claire Yeah.
如果上周是一次测试，你能通过吗？
If last week was a test, would you have passed?
不能。
No.
上周我没什么可报告的。
I have nothing to report last week.
上周我食物中毒了。
Last week, had food poisoning.
如果你听了付费内容，你就知道了。
If you listen to Patreon, you know.
我真的整整一周都垮了。
I was down and out truly for a week.
我就是睡了一整个星期。
I just slept through a week.
我会时不时醒过来，出去办一件小事，然后马上回去睡觉。
I would wake up every once in a while and go do a single errand and then go right back to bed.
我从未这样浪费过时间。
I've never lost time like that.
我从未陷入过一片虚无，一周后醒来却变成了一个全新的人。
I've never just got into a void and come out a week later and been a brand new person.
这纯粹是空白的时间。
It's just dead time.
艾什莉？
Ashley?
嗯，克莱尔？
Yeah, Claire?
如果上周是一本回忆录，你会给它起什么名字？
If last week was a memoir, what would you
叫什么？
have called it?
我会称之为我的克莱尔时代。
I would have called it my Claire era.
你的克莱拉。
Your Clara.
我的克莱拉。
My Clara.
因为我决定彻底重塑我的生活。
Because I have decided to completely revamp my life.
我正在做一大堆全新的事情，而且我决定一次性全部开始。
I'm doing a whole bunch of all new fresh things, and I decided to do them all at once.
我确实觉得，每天醒来都说‘从今天起，我要改变18件事’，这有点像我的风格。
And I do feel like waking up and saying that, like, starting today, I'm gonna make 18 things different is a bit clear of me.
但话说回来，如果你做到了，想想那些奇迹吧。
But hey, if you pull it off, think about the miracles.
到目前为止，我进展得还不错。
And I am doing well so far.
我想我已经进入新生活方式的第四或第五天了。
I think I'm four or five days in to my new lifestyle.
我还没过过周末呢。
I haven't had a weekend yet.
所以这将是对我的一次小小考验，因为我的新生活方式中很重要的一点就是尽量少喝酒。
So that'll be a bit of a test of the waters because one of my big points on this lifestyle is that I'm trying to do, like, way less drinking.
所以，我们看看这次考验会怎样吧。
So I guess we'll see how the waters are tested.
祝你好运。
Good luck.
我会陪着你。
I'll be with you.
我会做你的戒酒伙伴。
I'll be your sober companion.
谢谢你。
Thank you.
那么，我们现在开始讨论本周的回忆录作者吗？
And now, should we get into this week's memoirist?
好的。
Yes.
说到让聚会听起来像件烦事，坦白说，我们来聊聊本周的书——阿德里娜·帕特里奇的《选择：上山与归来》。
Speaking of making parties sound like a bit of a chore, frankly, Let's talk about this week's book, Choices by Adrina Patridge, To the Hills and Back Again.
哦，这个副标题真巧妙。
Oh, that's a clever subtitle.
很有道理。
It makes sense.
我能说点有争议的话吗？
Can I say something controversial?
当然可以。
Always.
我读这本书的时候，只是心想：哇。
I was reading this book and I was just like, wow.
劳伦、海蒂、惠特尼和奥德丽娜这些名字真够随机的。
Lauren, Heidi, Whitney, and Audrina are such random names.
这些名字对于一群
What random names for a
女孩来说也太随机了吧？
group of girls?
我的意思是，有两个劳伦，我觉得这太普通了。
I mean, two Laurens, I feel like, feels by the book.
嗯，不算。
Well, no.
这对我来说挺合理的。
That makes sense to me.
我觉得，如果你要有一群白人女性，一个应该叫劳伦，另一个应该叫洛肖，作为劳伦的变体。
I think if you're gonna have a group of white women, one should be called Lauren and the other should be called Low Show for Lauren.
我当时就想，这还挺贴切的。
I was like, that checks out.
对我来说，两个白人女性叫克莱尔和阿什利。
To me, two white women are Claire and Ashley.
嗯。
Yeah.
但我就是觉得海蒂、惠特尼、奥德丽娜这些名字太随意了。
But I just feel like Heidi, Whitney, Audrina, random.
真的吗？
Really?
像是直接从山里冒出来的。
Like straight down from the hills.
好吧。
Okay.
奥德丽娜知道你想要什么，她不会让你将就。
So Audrina knows what you want and she's not gonna make you settle for less.
比如
By like
第八页，她说：‘好了，以下是关于山丘的真相。’
page eight, she was like, alright, here's the truth about the hills.
我当时说：‘谢谢。’
And I was like, thank you.
她还简要地回顾了自己的童年经历，讲述了她的出身。
She does give us a brief little dip into her childhood, where she came from.
我们还看到一段简短的介绍，她说这本书将讲述她自己的故事。
We also have a little intro where she says that this is gonna be a book about her.
这是一句你特别喜欢的话。
This was a line that you really like.
她说：‘永远不要以貌取人，也不要根据小报照片去评判名人。’
She says, it's such a lesson to never judge a book by the cover or a celebrity by a tabloid picture.
你永远无法真正了解一个人内心在经历什么。
You never really know what's going on with someone.
在那职业性的微笑背后
Behind the practice smile and
在这些积极乐观的采访回答背后，隐藏着很少有人知道的深深悲伤。
the upbeat interview answers lies the depth of sadness few people know about.
所以我只在真人秀明星身上看到过这种现象，我非常确定他们的人生并不完美：他们总以为自己已经成功让你相信他们的生活完美无缺。
So something I've seen only in reality TV celebrities that I absolutely know are not living perfect lives is that they always think that they have convinced you that their life is perfect.
克里斯汀·奎恩和克里斯谢尔都感到有必要说：我知道我的生活看起来尽是光鲜、奢华和轻松，但其实让我走上一档房地产销售真人秀的道路并非一帆风顺。
The way that both Christine Quinn and Chrishell felt the need to be like, I know it seems like my life has been nothing but glitz, glamour, and ease, but it's actually the thing that landed me on a reality show about selling real estate wasn't all an even road.
我并没有跟进奥德丽娜的近况，而且
I haven't kept up with Audrina, and
我其实没怎么看《山丘》这部剧。
I actually didn't watch The Hills that much.
但如果你告诉我，哦，奥德丽娜的生活并不好，我会说：当然了。
But if you had told me, oh, Audrina's life isn't great, would have been like, course.
我
I
我在疫情初期重新观看了《山丘》，并对此着了迷。
rewatched The Hills during the beginning of the pandemic and became obsessed with it.
我当时就想，这里有很多我们还没谈够、应该继续讨论的东西。
I was like, there is a lot here that we're not we should still be talking about all of it.
这是对人性最引人入胜的观察。
This is the most fascinating look on human.
因为我觉得，在那些早期的真人秀里，人们还没有意识到随之而来的第二层职业意识。
Because I think that there is something about those early reality shows when people didn't have the hyper awareness of the second level of career that comes with it.
这太有趣了，你只能去观察那些节目。
That is so interesting, and you can only look at those.
你只能去看真实的世界，比如《山丘》这类节目。
Like, you can only watch a real world, The Hills, things like that.
确实如此。
That's so true.
而且你在
And you see that in
这本书中看到的是，你接下来该做什么并没有明确的路径。
this book is that there was no clear cut path for what you do next.
在社交媒体出现之前的真人秀时代，你只能接受一切发生的事情，拼命奔跑，尽最大努力。
In a pre social media reality TV world, you just had to take it as it came and run as fast as you can and just do the best.
你完全不知道接下来会发生什么。
And you had no idea what was coming next.
你根本不清楚自己的职业生涯究竟是什么。
You had no idea like what your career even was.
我想说一下关于这个引言的一件有趣的事。
I will say something that's interesting about this intro.
她并没有为你铺垫这本书的内容。
She doesn't set you up for what's in this book.
没有。
No.
很多引言都会以‘在这本书中，我希望’或‘我写这本书是为了’结尾，而她只是以‘我们生活中的每一个选择都在塑造着我们是谁’结束。
A lot of the intros will end with, in this book I hope to or I wrote this book to, she just ends this with every choice we make in our lives is creating who we are.
我选择搬到洛杉矶，结果上了真人秀节目，这为我打开了许多大门，成为探索我热情的跳板。
I made a choice to move to Los Angeles and I ended up on a reality TV show that would open so many doors and create a springboard to explore my passions.
每一次冒险和每一个障碍都伴随着巨大的失败可能性。
With every risk and every hurdle comes the big possibility that you'll fail.
那又怎样？
So what?
跌倒和绊倒正是你学会自我调整、重建、成长，并永不被跌倒打倒的方式。
Stumbling and falling is how you learn to catch yourself, to rebuild, to grow, and to never let falling down keep you down.
我们有能力选择如何看待这个世界，而我选择希望。
We have the power to choose the way we see the world and I for one choose hope.
我的意思是，这根本不是标准的序言，它更像一个结尾。
I mean, that just isn't your standard intro because it could be an outro.
我认为这里发生的情况是，她写序言时设想的是这本书希望涵盖的内容，她接近了目标，但没有回去重新修改序言。
I think that what happened here is that she wrote the intro with what she hoped this book would encompass and she got close, but she didn't go back and re edit the intro.
我认为序言和结尾通常是最後写的，而她真的是按顺序写这本书的，或者她的代笔人是这样做的。
I think the intro and the outro are usually written last, and she really wrote this book in order, or like her ghost writer did.
有人是按顺序写完这本书的。
Someone wrote this book in order.
这很有趣。
It's interesting.
制作这样的东西很有趣。
It's an interesting thing to make
把这本关于她最终多么不快乐的书与选择联系起来。
this about choices because this is a book about how unhappy she ended up
她一生中的大部分时间都是如此。
for most of her life.
基于这些情况，我当然不是想剥夺她的自由意志。
Based on situations that obviously, I'm not trying to take like free will away from her.
这些都是她的选择。
They were her choices.
但我觉得这样描绘它们
But I think to paint them that way
几乎是伤害了她自己。
is like almost hurting herself.
总之，正如阿什莉所说，我们从她童年的两页内容开始。
Anyway, as Ashley said, so we start off with a two page look at her childhood.
我妈妈是全职家庭主妇，我爸爸是我们家族企业的工程师，为大公司生产机械零件，用途从飞机到迪士尼乐园的游乐设施都有。
My mom was a stay at home mom and my dad is an engineer for our family business, which makes mechanical parts for big companies to use on anything from airplanes to the rides at Disneyland.
有趣的是，我小时候没怎么看真人秀。
She's like funny enough, growing up I didn't watch that much reality TV.
而且那时候也没什么真人秀。
And it's like there was not much reality TV.
她长大后非常受欢迎。
She grew up, she was very popular.
她后来说，自己从未卷入过任何纷争。
She says later that she was never involved in drama.
大家都喜欢她。
Everybody liked her.
她人很善良。
She was pretty sweet.
她去教堂。
She went to church.
她是返校节女王。
She was homecoming queen.
她声称自己获得过学术荣誉。
She claims she won academic accolades.
她想成为
She wanted to be
有一天上电视，但她表示高中时最喜爱的课程是科学和艺术。
on TV someday, but she said her favorite classes in high school were science and art.
当时，我曾考虑去学校当心理学家。
At the time, I thought about going to school to become a psychologist.
我总是喜欢听朋友倾诉他们的烦恼，给予建议并试图帮助他们。
I always liked listening to my friends share their problems, giving advice, and trying to help.
人们总会来找我，所以我觉得把这种倾向发展成职业是很自然的事。
People came to me, so it felt natural to think about ways I could turn that into a career.
我读这本书时，每时每刻都在等她提到：我差点就成了心理学家。
I was waiting every moment throughout this book for her to have been like, I was almost a psychologist.
她最终连大学都没上。
She ends up not even going to college.
高中毕业后，我晚上开始在橙县社区学院上课。
After high school graduation, I started taking classes at Orange County Community College at night.
白天，我会去洛杉矶试镜广告、音乐视频和模特工作。
And in the daytime, I would go to LA to audition for commercials, music videos, and modeling gigs.
我想上完一个学期后，她决定退学，而她的父母非常支持，说：你为什么不干脆搬去洛杉矶，看看能不能
I think after one semester, she decides to drop out of community college and her parents are very supportive and saying, why don't you just move to LA and see if you
实现这个梦想呢？
can make this work?
你以后总可以当心理学家的。
You can always become a psychologist down the road.
所以，她那种‘你可以去试试当模特和演员，如果不行，再回头学心理学’的想法，长期以来一直让我对心理咨询感到害怕。
So she goes, this whole thing of like, you can go try to become a model and an actress and if that doesn't work out, you can always go back to psychology school was one of the things that really scared me about therapy for a long time.
因为我长期住在洛杉矶，认识很多人
Because I lived in LA for a long time and I knew a lot
都做过这件事。
of people that did that.
想到你不去接受治疗，我心想，谢天谢地，奥德琳娜不是治疗师。
Thinking about you not going to therapy, I was like, thank God, Audrina is not a therapist.
如果有人找奥德琳娜来解决他们的问题怎么办？
What if someone had ended up with Audrina trying to fix their problems?
但我说的就是，当我住在洛杉矶时，我和大学专业的一群人一起搬过去，我想现在其中有两个人成了治疗师。
But that's what I'm saying is like when I lived in LA, I moved out there with a whole group of people from my major in college, and I think two of them are therapists now.
我认识大量从娱乐业失败转向治疗师的人。
I knew a ton of people that did this unsuccessful in the entertainment industry to therapist pipeline.
这真的让我吓坏了。
And it really scared the shit out of me.
我知道这并不总是如此，也不是每个人都会这样，但这种恐惧确实真实存在，并且有其依据。
And I get that that's not always the case and that's not everyone, but it was like a genuine fear in my mind and it was founded in something.
幸运的是，奥德琳娜变得太成功了。
Luckily, Adrina became too successful.
所以她的故事就是一连串的幸运。
So her story was just luck after luck.
我从未见过其他人一出道就如此
I've never seen anyone else just hit it out of
像奥德琳娜那样第一周就一鸣惊人。
the park week one the way Adrina did.
事情就是这么凑巧地落在了她头上。
That's the way things lined up for her.
在七十多本回忆录之后，这是我见过最不可思议的单曲爆红案例。
75 memoirs in, this is the most incredible one hit wonder I've ever seen.
她父亲带她搬到了洛杉矶。
Her dad moves her down to LA.
他们去登记一间公寓大楼。
They go to check-in an apartment complex.
在公寓大楼里，没有空余的公寓了。
In the apartment complex, there's no apartments left.
幸运的是，他们在离开时乘坐了电梯。
Luckily, on the way out, they're in the elevator.
他们听到两个女孩在谈论她们公寓里有个空房间，却不知道怎么填满它。
They hear two girls talking about how they have an empty room in their apartment and they don't know how to fill it.
阿德里娜说：我来住那里吧。
Adrina's like, I'll live there.
她们说：好的。
And they're like, okay.
她搬进去两周后，亚当·德韦洛正在物色这栋公寓大楼，因为他想让劳伦·康拉德和她最好的朋友海蒂·蒙塔格搬进去，出演他们正在制作的新真人秀衍生剧。
Two weeks after she moves in, Adam DeVello is scouting out the apartment complex because he wants Lauren Conrad and her best friend Heidi Montag to live there for a new spin off reality show they're doing.
奥德里娜在泳池边。
Audrina's down by the pool.
他走近她，她说：最初亚当走近我并自我介绍时，我以为他只是个俗气的制片人，想搭讪我，或者邀请我当晚去某个专属俱乐部。
He approaches her and she says, at first when Adam approached me and introduced himself, I thought he was just another cheesy producer trying to hit on me or invite me to an exclusive club that night.
但他谈到了他参与过的节目，我开始觉得他可能是真的。
But he talked about the shows he worked on and I began to think he could be legit.
他问我为什么来洛杉矶，我来自哪里，以及我在哪里工作。
He asked why I'd moved to LA where I was from and where I was working.
我告诉他，我最近刚在奎克索特工作室当上了接待员，这是一家位于镇上的照片、视频和活动工作室，经常作为杂志和商业拍摄的场地。
I told him I had recently started a job as a receptionist at Quixote studios, a photo, video, and event studio in town that was the location of magazine and commercial shoots.
亚当告诉我，他正在迅速筹备这部衍生剧。
Adam told me he was moving quickly to put together the spin off show.
就在几天后，我就去了MTV办公室，见到了其他节目制作人和制片人。
And just a few days later, was in the MTV offices to meet the rest of the showrunners and producers.
我简单介绍了自己，并更多地了解了这部剧。
I shared the basics about myself and learned more about the show.
他们告诉我，根据我的背景以及他们花时间了解我的情况，认为我会非常适合这群女孩。
They told me that based on my background and the time they spent getting to know me, they thought I would be a great fit for the group of girls.
于是她得到了这份工作，成为海蒂和劳伦在洛杉矶的新朋友，带她们熟悉环境。
So she gets the job as Heidi and Lauren's new LA friend who can show them around.
她的老板在Quixote工作室。
Her boss is at Quixote Studios.
她非常感激他们说：你其实可以两头兼顾。
She's so grateful that they were like, you can actually do both.
你可以做这个真人秀的工作，同时继续在这里上班，我们甚至允许你在这里拍摄。
You can have this reality TV job and still work here, and we'll even let you film here.
她心想：天啊，他们对我真是太好了。
And she's like, god, they were so kind to me.
她想：当然他们会这样做了。
And it's like, well, of course they would.
他们的工作室上了电视。
They got their studio on TV.
他们可不是像
They weren't like
律师事务所那样。
a law office.
他们是一家做酷炫年轻内容的制作公司。
They were a production company that did cool young things.
没错。
Yeah.
我最喜欢的趣闻是，一旦我签约了这个节目，就必须在正式开拍前两周不能去游泳池。
My favorite fact is once I signed on to the show, I wasn't allowed to go to the pool for two weeks until we officially started filming.
因为制片人希望我能在镜头前自然地见到海蒂和劳伦。
Because the producers wanted me to meet Heidi and Lauren organically on camera.
还有什么比在镜头前见面更不自然的呢？
What could be less organic than meeting on camera?
他们明明可以更合理地说，‘这是我们的朋友奥德琳娜。’
It would have made way more sense that they're like, oh, this is our friend, Audrina.
我们在游泳池附近遇见了她。
We met her around at the pool.
我前几天看了第一集，他们拍了劳伦刚从采访回来的样子。
I watched the first episode the other day, and they have Lauren, like, coming home from an interview.
海迪已经在泳池边和奥德丽娜一起玩了。
And Heidi is already at the pool hanging out with Audrina.
劳伦遇到奥德丽娜，奥德丽娜对劳伦的采访说了些蠢话。
And Lauren meets Audrina, and Audrina says something stupid about Lauren's interview.
然后海迪说，好吧，她现在是我们朋友了。
And then Heidi is like, well, she's our friend now.
这真的太疯狂了。
It's truly insane.
她就说，你得跟我们一起去。
She's like, you'll have to come out with us.
你必须去。
You have to.
奥德丽娜说，太好了。
And Audrina's like, great.
奥德丽娜对采访说了什么？
What does Audrina say about the interview?
劳伦说，我觉得表现得还不错。
Lauren is like, I think it went well.
奥德丽娜说，我相信你一定能拿到。
And Audrina was like, I'm sure you'll get it.
劳伦说，他们还没打电话来，这让我很紧张。
And Lauren was like, it's making me nervous that they haven't called yet.
她还说，是啊，有时候他们就是不打电话。
And she's like, yeah, sometimes they don't call.
我去年半前重新看的时候，最大的收获就是这些19岁的年轻人在高知名度实习中的不专业程度。
One of the main things that I got out of this rewatch that I did, like, a year and a half ago was the level of unprofessionalism of these 19 year olds at these high profile internships.
劳伦在《Teen Vogue》里简直像个自鸣得意的婊子。
The way that Lauren is kind of just like a smug bitch at Teen Vogue.
惠特尼是个乖乖女，但我想，为什么劳伦要违反规则？
Whitney was the goody goody, but I was like, why was Lauren breaking the rules?
这太疯狂了。
This is insane.
你在实习期间是不允许违反规定的。
You're not allowed to break the rules at an internship.
但如果你登上了《Teen Vogue》的封面，那就可以，而她实习期间确实登上了封面。
You are if you're also on the cover of Teen Vogue, which she was while she was quote unquote interning there.
是的。
Yeah.
我不知道你知不知道，艾什莉，办公室里的每个人都知道她参加了一个真人秀。
I don't know if you know this, Ashley, but everyone at the office knew she was on a reality show.
他们怎么可能猜得到呢？
How could they have guessed?
所以，这本书大致分为两部分。
So basically, this book is broken down into two parts.
一部分是《山丘》部分，她会告诉你所有关于《山丘》和她人际关系的内幕。
It's the hills part where she gives you all the dirt that she wants about the hills and then her relationships.
那我就直接给你讲讲关于《山丘》的那些八卦吧。
So I'll just run through and give you the dirt about the hills.
所以其中一个
So one of
我觉得特别有趣的是开头部分，她谈到初次遇见海蒂和劳伦时，说海蒂特别容易交谈，而劳伦则要封闭得多。
the things I found really interesting was the part right at the beginning when she's talking about meeting Heidi and Lauren, and she says that Heidi was super easy to talk to, but Lauren was a lot more closed off.
她将此归因于劳伦比海蒂更有真人秀经验。
And she kind of attributes that to Lauren being more of a reality TV vet than Heidi.
但我确实觉得，这很好地体现了海蒂是多么容易成为目标。
But I do think it's really interesting the way it illustrates that Heidi is such an easy target.
她确实是一个渴望建立联系的人。
Like, she really is someone who was looking for connection.
如果制片人把她面前的某个人介绍给她，说：‘这是你新最好的朋友。’
And if the producers producers put someone in front of her face and were like, this is your new best friend.
她会说：‘谢天谢地。’
She was like, thank God.
如果制片人说：‘这是你新男朋友。’
And if the producers were like, this is your new boyfriend.
她就说，好吧。
She was like, okay.
我太开心了。
I'm so happy.
我很好奇，这与其说是因为她是个马克，不如说是因为劳伦是个老手。
I do wonder if it's less that she was a Mark and more that Lauren was a hardened veteran.
因为我觉得，如果你19岁，有一份酷炫的新工作，有人告诉你，这是另一个普通可爱的19岁女孩，
Because I do think if you're 19 years old, you've got this cool new job and you're told here's this other normal cute 19 year old girl and
你们每天都会一起待在一起。
you guys are gonna be hanging out every day together.
你难道不会愿意和她一起玩吗？
Wouldn't you be open to hanging out?
我觉得两者都有。
I think it's both.
我觉得在奥德琳娜身上，你也能看到和希迪一样的特质，她们对新人都充满兴奋，而劳伦则要封闭得多。
I think you see in Audrina the same thing you see in Heidi that they do have this excitement about new people, whereas Lauren is a lot more closed off to them.
我觉得这使得劳伦显得像个婊子，而且她可能确实是个更恶劣的婊子。
And I think that it makes Lauren come off as a bitch and she probably is a way bigger bitch.
但我认为，这对海蒂和奥德琳的生活造成的后果要危险得多。
But I think that where it led for Heidi and Audrina in their lives is a lot more dangerous.
哦，没错。
Oh, yeah.
我的意思是，我们本质上都是大学生年龄段的女孩。
I mean, were essentially college age girls.
想想你自己刚上大学时的样子。
Think about yourself as a freshman in college.
我当时真是个蠢货。
I was a fucking idiot.
我的意思是，开学第一天认识的每个人，你都觉得会成为你的灵魂姐妹。
I mean, everyone you met the first day of orientation, you're like, you're gonna be my soul sister.
我们应该去纹个同款纹身。
We should get matching tattoos.
我们会永远认识彼此。
We're gonna know each other forever.
但两周后你就再也不会跟他们说话了。
And then you never speak to them again two weeks later.
是啊。
Yeah.
但对于奥德丽娜和海蒂以及所有这些人来说，情况却不一样。
Except for then for Audrina and Heidi and for all these people.
他们永远在流行文化中被联系在一起，这非常有压力。
They're like forever linked in pop culture, which is very stressful.
然后她谈到了这个节目变得有多大的规模。
So then she gets into how big the show became.
有一段时间，我认为她说过这是有线电视上最大的节目。
At one point, I think she says it was the biggest show on cable.
我的意思是，我觉得它
I mean, I think it
当时观看量达到数百万，而如今我觉得即便是黄金时段的电视节目都未必有这个量。
was getting millions of views, which now I don't even think primetime TV shows are getting.
她还提醒我们，那时正是布兰妮·斯皮尔斯、帕丽斯·希尔顿和小报狗仔队的巅峰时期。
And something else she reminds us about this time is this was at peak Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, tabloid paparazzi era.
这正是
This is
佩雷斯·希尔顿的时代，她们也深受其害。
the Perez Hilton days, and they were getting the brunt of that as well.
她们是狗仔队争相追逐的超级明星。
They were superstars for the paparazzi to follow around.
我的意思是，
I mean,
她们登上了《滚石》杂志的封面，我记得那期封面。
they were on the cover of Rolling Stone, and I remember that cover.
我也是。
Me too.
这是一件大事。
It was a huge deal.
我还想指出这句话，作为后面的一个伏笔。
I also wanna point out this line, a little earmark for later.
她说：我逐渐明白，你永远不知道谁在利用你，或者谁会为了获得十五分钟的聚光灯而背叛你。
She says, I've come to learn that you never know who's using you or who will turn on you to get there fifteen minutes in the spotlight.
我认为直到今天，她还没有真正明白这一点。
I don't think that she has come to figure that out to this day.
我的意思是，她的
I mean, her
第一章讲的是她所经历的所有酷炫的事情。
first chapter is about all the cool things that she got to do.
我认为作为一个人，她非常善良，并且真心希望展现出对一切经历的感激之情。
And I think as a person, she is quite sweet and she does want to come across as genuinely grateful for everything she's had.
所以整个第一章基本上都在列举她因为《山丘》而获得的所有精彩非凡的经历，表达一种真诚的感恩。
So this whole first chapter is kind of just listing out all the cool amazing things she got to do because of the hills and a real nod to gratitude.
她提到参加了2007年MTV音乐录影带大奖，当时劳伦和惠特尼一起上台颁发年度最佳男艺人奖。
She talked about going to 2,007 MTV video awards when her Lauren and Whitney all get to present the male artist of the year.
贾斯汀·汀布莱克最终获奖，劳伦和惠特尼非常兴奋，因为她们是他的超级粉丝。
Justin Timberlake apparently won and Lauren and Whitney were so excited because they were super fans.
贾斯汀拒绝亲自从她们手中接过奖杯。
Justin would not take the award from them.
他让克里斯·布朗去替他拿奖。
He made Chris Brown go get it from them.
我其实看过这个片段。
I actually watched this clip.
那不是克里斯·布朗。
It was not Chris Brown.
那是谁？
It was it?
是汀布莱克，但克里斯·布朗刚表演完，他在演讲中提到了克里斯·布朗。
It was Timberland, but Chris Brown had just performed and he shouted out Chris Brown in his speech.
所以我觉得这确实容易让人困惑。
So I like see how that's confusing.
我无法相信她只是凭记忆讲述的，既没用YouTube，也没让她的编辑们查证。
I cannot believe that she was just going off of memory and she didn't use YouTube and none of her editors
他们都没去查YouTube。
checked YouTube.
因为这相当
Because it's a pretty
因为她觉得这么做，而我们根本不是好研究者。
because she thought to do that and we're not we're not good researchers.
无论如何，更重要的是，贾斯汀·汀布莱克显然接过话筒说：MTV，我们想要更多音乐视频，少点真人秀——这话说得相当无礼，因为真人秀的人就在现场。
Anyway, more importantly, Justin Timberlake apparently takes the mic and says MTV, we want more music videos, less reality TV, which is a pretty rude thing to say when the reality TV people are right there.
幸运的是，从那以后，我们了解到贾斯汀·汀布莱克是个渣男。
Luckily, since then, we've learned that Justin Timberlake sucks dick.
她谈到自己太有名了，以至于有人专程飞来请她参加生日派对。
She talks about being so famous that she's getting flown out to go to birthday parties.
她参加了一个生日派对，其他被邀请的名人包括莱昂纳多·迪卡普里奥，而莱昂纳多一直主动追求她，拿到了她的电话号码，两人短信往来了一两周。
She went to a birthday party where the other celebrities that have been flown out were Leonardo DiCaprio and Leo actually persistently pursued her, got her number, and they texted for a week or two.
我知道这很难记住，但曾经有一段时间，奥德琳娜和莱昂纳多·迪卡普里奥约会的事可是出了名的。
So I know it's hard to remember, but at one point in time, Audrina was date Leonardo DiCaprio famous.
我觉得这是一个有趣的小小致敬。
I think this is a fun little shout out.
她说，尽管当时有很多人因为她们是真人秀明星而对她和同伴无礼、轻视，但她在颁奖典礼上遇到的最友善的人却是蕾哈娜。
She says that with all of the people who were, like, rude and looked down upon them because they were reality stars, She says the nicest person that she's ever met in award show was Rihanna.
我喜欢这一点。
I love that.
我要纠正一下我之前说的话，她说到了第三季结束时，《山居岁月》已成为2008年收视率最高的有线电视节目。
To correct what I said, she said by the end of the third season, The Hills was the highest rated cable show of 2008.
所以我说，它当时可是大热剧集，但现在却仿佛悄然淡出了人们的记忆，很难再想起它有多火。
So I mean, it was a huge hit and I kinda think it's so faded into that good night that it's hard to remember.
但当时这些女孩都是最出名的，而她本人当时只是一个19岁、某天正坐在自家泳池边的普通女孩。
But these were some of the most famous girls at the time and she literally was a 19 year old who was just sitting by her pool one day.
你并没有真正为她带来什么技能。
You had no real skill that she's bringing to the table.
她没有什么可推销的东西。
There was no thing that she was selling.
她只是恰好在泳池边，然后就一直待在泳池边。
She just happened to be at the pool and then she just stayed by the pool.
而这就是她的工作，她因为待在泳池边而成了世界上最出名的人。
And now that was her job and she was the most famous person in the world for being by the pool.
我喜欢她说的这句话：有趣的是，当时我根本不知道造型师这回事。
I love this line where she says, the funny thing is I didn't know about stylists at the time.
所以要么我总是自己搭配衣服，要么我会去设计师展厅借衣服。
So either I always dress myself or I work with a designer showroom to borrow a dress.
我看过那个时代的红毯照片。
I've seen red carpets from that era.
当时很多人都不知道造型师这回事。
A lot of people didn't know about stylists at the time.
嗯。
Yeah.
她提到和皮特·迪迪、帕丽斯·希尔顿、林赛·罗涵、布兰妮·斯皮尔斯、大卫·斯佩德一起派对。
She talks about partying with Pete Diddy, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, David Spade.
大卫·斯佩德曾经参加过顶级派对或在洛杉矶活跃，这想法让我觉得好笑，但我知道这在技术上是真实的。
The idea that David Spade at any point was an a list party or in LA does make me laugh, but I know that it was technically true.
他当时非常有名。
He was huge.
嗯。
Yeah.
但为什么呢？
But why?
因为他出演了《皇帝的新装》？
Because he was in Emperor's New Groove?
他上过《周六夜现场》。
He was on SNL.
只是顺便提一下Hyde。
Just a throwback call out Hyde.
谁还记得Hyde？
Who remembers Hyde?
在
The in
有一次在Hyde，她让DJ播放Journey的《Don't Stop Believin'》，她说Pete Diddy还和我们一起合唱了。
One place to night at Hyde, she asked the DJ to play Don't Stop Believin' by Journey and she's like, Pete Diddy sang along with us.
那真是太有趣了。
It was so fun.
我当时想，天啊，听起来确实很有趣。
And I'm like, damn, that does sound fun.
我从这件事里了解到的另一件疯狂的事是，他们每季拍28集，几乎全年都在拍摄。
Something else that was crazy that I learned from this is they're doing 28 episodes a season and they were shooting virtually year round.
是的。
Yeah.
当我们谈到《The Hill》这一段是否是剧本安排时，我觉得这恰恰解释了为什么奥德琳娜不知道该如何回答。
Which when we get into the was The Hill scripted or not, I think that this really plays into it and why Audrina does not know how to answer.
但她的生活既由节目创造，又完全被节目控制，她扮演的是自己的人生，这简直就像卡戴珊式的悖论。
But the fact that her life was both created and complete controlled by the show where she was playing her life, it's very Kardashian colloquium.
我真希望她能读读这本书，谈谈她的看法，因为你很清楚，当整个生活都被拍摄时，如果制作人正在安排你的生活，那么被拍下的内容就变成了你的现实。
I would have loved to have her read this book and give her take because you very much see how the idea that the show would be scripted is kind of an impossible question to ask because when your entire life is being filmed, if the producers are organizing your life, then what's being filmed becomes your real life.
她约会的人、她交的朋友、她建立的所有关系，完全取决于他们是否能上节目。
The people she dates, the people she's friends with, the relationships she has completely are controlled by whether or they can be on the show.
所以她整个时间都在反复纠结：这到底是真实还是人为编排的？
So she spends the entire time really going back and forth between was it reality or was it contrived?
我认为这个问题没有答案。
And I don't think that there is a answer.
整个过程中，这一直都是她的现实。
It was her reality the entire time.
我这么说并不是要贬低她。
And I don't mean this to be a knock on her.
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19岁时，你对自己的认知非常有限。
At 19 years old, you have such a small sense of self.
你正在从零开始重建生活。
You are rebuilding a life from scratch.
你从未有过真正的成年生活。
You've never had an adult life.
你带着一无所有来到洛杉矶，而她所建立的一切，竟都源自这个虚假的现实。
You're starting in LA with nothing, and out of nowhere, everything she built came from this fake reality.
这简直是一个非常有趣的研究案例、模拟和网络人设。
It's kind of a very interesting case study and simulation and an online persona.
她的一切，就是她的 persona。
Like, all she is is her persona.
她说没有任何内容是剧本安排的。
She says nothing was scripted.
所以，我们在争吵中说出的话和选择做的事，无论如何都是真实的。
So the words that we said and the things that we chose to do during those arguments were real either way.
但我随机在咖啡馆遇到正在和我吵架的人，好继续吵下去，这根本不是巧合。
But me randomly running into someone I was fighting with at a coffee shop so that we could fight some more, that wasn't so random.
她有点像Crichelle，即使她提到自己在节目中有一个Audrina的人设，会屏蔽情绪、按节目要求行事。
She's a bit of a Crichelle here and that she is being herself even though she talks about having sort of an Audrina persona for the show where she would block things out and do what she knew that she was supposed to do for the show.
但我觉得，她也在表达自己在那种情境下真正会说的话——而其他人可能会为了镜头大肆渲染戏剧性，甚至疯狂发作。
But she also, I think, was saying what she would genuinely say in that situation where I think other people would really hype up the drama and, like, go crazy for the cameras.
我觉得她会想：我们为什么要那样做？
And I think that she is like, why would we do that?
我们只是朋友碰面而已。
We're just friends hanging out.
我们在这家咖啡馆偶遇，是因为他们想让我们吵架，但他们又希望我们解决问题。
Just ran into each other at this coffee shop because they wanted us to argue, but they want us to solve our problem.
我不觉得他们真想让我们解决问题。
I don't think they want them to solve it.
他们只是希望我们多吵几次。
They want them to fight a lot.
是的。
Yeah.
我也觉得你在《新主妇》中经常看到这种情况。
I also think you see this a lot with New Housewives.
如果有人为了电视节目假装和你吵架，那种伤害依然是真实的。
If someone else is fake fighting with you for TV, it's still real hurts.
就像你还是难以相信你的朋友会那样把你推上公交车。
Like you still kinda can't believe that your friend would throw you on the bus like that.
所以我认为，当她信任的人在镜头外伤害她时，她总是措手不及，她无法区分自己在镜头外感受到的背叛。
And so I think she's constantly caught off guard when people she trusted off camera would hurt her on camera and she can't separate that she feels off camera betrayed.
她说这并不完全是假装情绪，而是放大了情绪的强度。
She says it wasn't necessarily about faking emotions, but rather turning up the intensity.
我觉得对她来说，这确实是事实。
And I do think that for her, that was true.
但我觉得像斯宾塞这样的人，就是想说点疯狂的话来制造剧情。
Whereas I think for people like Spencer, he was like, let me just say something fucking wild for a storyline.
他是在伪造情绪，并放大这种伪造的情绪强度，而她则是说，我们只是彼此有点烦躁，假装在吵架。
He was faking an emotion and turning up the intensity on that fake emotion, whereas she was like, we're just grumpy with each other and pretending it's like a fight.
对吧？
Right?
她特别提到了劳伦。
She talks about Lauren specifically.
她说劳伦离开节目后，她们就不再联系了。
She says her and Lauren did not keep speaking after Lauren left the show.
她说部分原因是，劳伦和我有同一个经纪人和公关。
She says part of the reason is one, Lauren and I had the same agent and publicist.
在我看来，我得到的请求、机会和工作，都是我们的共同经纪人给了劳伦。
It seemed to me that I was getting requests, opportunities, and gigs that our mutual agent was giving to Lauren instead.
是的。
Yes.
我把这归咎于我的经纪人，但这对我和劳伦的友谊来说仍然不太好。
I blame my agents for this, but it still wasn't great for my friendship with Lauren.
我还觉得她对朋友很控制欲。
I also found her to be controlling over her friends.
如果你在她的圈子里，你就得做和说劳伦做的事和说的话。
If you're in her circle, you have to do and say what Lauren does and says.
否则，你就
Otherwise, you're
被排挤了。
on the outs.
我的意思是，这确实说得通。
I mean, that rings true.
就像我说的，我刚看了试播集。
I like I said, I just watched the pilot.
当海蒂没有完全按照劳伦的意思做时，劳伦就会
And when Heidi doesn't do exactly what Lauren wants to do, Lauren is
对她特别刻薄。
such a bitch about it.
我认为劳伦参加这个节目时觉得，这是我的节目，你们能在这里都是你们的荣幸，你们就应该为我工作。
I do think Lauren came to the show thinking, well, this is my show and you're all lucky to be here and you're supposed to work for me.
没错。
Yeah.
她还说，在劳伦大肆贬低贾斯汀·博比（著名的贾斯汀·博比）之后，当我和贾斯汀分手时，劳伦在拉斯维加斯碰到了他，据我一个好朋友说，她最后和他发生了关系。
And then the other thing she says is that after all the shit talking Lauren did about Justin Bobby, famous Justin Bobby, when Justin and I were broken up, Lauren ran into him in Vegas and according to a good friend of mine ended up hooking up with him.
当我听到这件事时，我感到被深深背叛了。
When I heard this, I felt so betrayed.
所以我不觉得这件事真的发生过。
So I don't think that this actually happened.
我试着去查证过，网上有很多信息在讨论他们是否真的发生了关系。
I tried to research it, and there's a lot of information online about whether or not they actually hooked up.
我实在无法想象。
I just can't imagine.
我认为劳伦觉得自己比贾斯汀·博比高贵多了。
I think Lauren thinks she's so much better than Justin Bobby.
嗯。
Yeah.
但据说，制作人花钱让奥德琳的朋友告诉她这件事发生了。
But supposedly, producers paid Audrina's friends to tell her that this happened.
所以她会想，为什么我不相信我的朋友告诉我这些呢？
So she was like, why wouldn't I believe my friends telling me this?
但这是因为没有人对她忠诚。
But it's because no one was loyal to her.
整个事件是在
The whole situation unfolded on
节目中展开的，但在摄像机开拍之前，她们俩都不接我的电话或回短信。
the show, but neither of them would answer my calls or texts until the cameras were rolling.
显然，劳伦是在为镜头保存她的表演时刻。
Apparently, Lauren was saving her take for the camera.
当我们终于交谈时，她把事情全都说反了，让我听起来像是精神错乱、疯了似的。
And when we finally talked, she had it all twisted around to make me sound like I was delusional and out of my mind.
然后她生我的气了。
Then she got mad at me.
劳伦和我再也回不到从前了。
Lauren and I were never really friends again.
就在那之后不久，劳伦决定离开节目。
Shortly after that, Lauren decided to leave the show.
所以这完美地证明了，这些戏剧性情节完全是假的。
So this is a perfect example of how sure, the drama was fake.
制片人 allegedly 付钱给奥德琳的朋友，让她相信
The producers paid Audrina's friends allegedly to convince her
这件事真的发生了，但双方的后果确实终结了这段友谊。
this is happening, but the fallout on both ends did end a friendship.
说到贾斯汀·鲍比，她在这里深入探讨了，真的很让人压力山大。
Speaking of Justin Bobby, she really dives into it here, and it is stressful.
所以如果你不想听一段会让你崩溃的感情故事，那就别听了吧，因为这不过是另一段会把你搞垮的关系的前奏。
So hold on to your hat if you don't want to hear about a relationship that will stress you out, because this is the prelude to a relationship that will fuck you up.
从现在开始，我们
From here on out, we're
进入第三章了。
on chapter three now.
剩下的章节都专注于她的恋爱关系。
The rest of these chapters are dedicated to her romantic relationships.
我不想去批评她。
And I don't want to criticize her.
我不是想评判她，但值得注意的是，她在《山丘》之后所经历的一切都被她与男性的关系所主导。
I'm not trying to be judgmental, but it is it is interesting to note that everything that happens to her post Hills is dominated by her relationships with men.
是的。
Yeah.
而且她确实承认了这一点。
And I mean, she does acknowledge it.
她说，她整个职业生涯都是围绕着她所交往的男性构建的。
She says that she was crafting her entire professional life around the men she was with.
看起来她没有朋友。
It doesn't seem like there's a friend.
看起来她也没有特别的爱好。
It doesn't seem like there's a particular passion.
她19岁时搬到洛杉矶，希望实现梦想。
She moved to Los Angeles at 19 years old hoping to make it.
她19岁就成功了。
She made it at 19.
从那以后，我认为她生活中没有什么是真正站得住脚的。
And from there, I don't think anything in her life had any legs to it.
没有什么是真实的。
Nothing was real.
她整整六年，生活都被《比佛利山》的拍摄所掌控。
Her entire year, for six years, was controlled by filming The Hills.
她一直深受这些制片人的控制。
She was constantly constantly under the control of these producers.
我认为她想要的是一段真正稳定的关系，一个她可以真心依靠的人。
I think what she wanted was a true stable relationship and, like, someone she could genuinely lean on.
我认为她以为浪漫关系比为电视而设的友谊更有忠诚度，但那种友谊根本不存在。
And I think that she thought a romantic relationship, there was more loyalty there than a friendship that was for TV, and it there never was.
所以这很难看。
So that is hard to watch.
我们来聊聊贾斯汀·博比·雷利什吧。
Let's get into the Justin Bobby Relish.
她说他们是在《山丘》之前认识的，但他在《山丘》中被介绍为新的恋爱对象，我想是第二或第三季。
She says they met before the Hills, but he was introduced as a new love interest on the Hills, I think season two or three.
所以他们在她19岁、在Quijote Studios工作时相遇了。
So they met when she was 19 when she was working at Quijote Studios.
他是发型师兼有抱负的音乐人。
He was the hairstylist slash aspiring musician.
回头想想，这到底意味着什么？
I have to say looking back, what does that mean?
他们在她到洛杉矶的前三周就相遇了。
They met in the first three weeks she was in LA.
所以他们在《山丘》之前就认识了，那时她刚到洛杉矶，还没开始拍摄。
So they met before the hills like the single month she was in LA not shooting
《山丘》。
the hills.
是的。
Yeah.
那是其中之一
It was one of
他们一见面就彼此着迷，很快就开始约会了。
those things they saw each other and immediately were obsessed and they started dating.
她说她从未与任何人有过像她和他这样的化学反应。
She says that she's never had chemistry with anyone the
她和他之间的化学反应是独一无二的。
way that she had chemistry with him.
他给她设计了发型。
He styled her hair.
他把她的头发染深了。
He dyed it darker.
她很喜欢那样。
She loved that.
她还说了一些类似有压力的台词，比如：我爱那样，我也爱他喜欢那样。
She also says some like kind of stressful lines where she's like, I loved it and I loved that he loved it.
我真的很钦佩贾斯汀，因为他似乎不在乎别人怎么想。
I really admire Justin for how he didn't seem to care what other people thought.
这让他在很多方面都能做自己。
That enabled him to do his own thing in so many ways.
但这也意味着他并不总是能察觉到我的感受或对他的需求。
But it also meant that he wasn't always in tune with what I was feeling or needing from him.
是的。
Yeah.
这是一个我
That's a take that I
不知道是不是观点的观点。
don't know is the take.
我们彼此之间非常暧昧，当我们一起外出时，朋友们有时会评论我们之间强烈的联系，却说我们并没有正式交往。
We were very flirty with each other and our friends would sometimes comment on our intense connection when we all hung out that we weren't officially dating.
我想知道我们之间的关系到底是什么，当我偶尔问他我们是不是在一起，或者我们到底在做什么时，他总是含糊其辞、不予重视。
I wanted to know where we stood and when I would occasionally ask him if we were together or what we were doing, he would be vague and dismissive.
他通常会回答：顺其自然吧。
He'd typically respond, let's just see what happens.
我们为什么需要一个标签呢？
Why do we need a label?
她说他们从未真正成为过男女朋友。
She says that they never once were boyfriend and girlfriend.
他们住在一起，但从未正式成为过男女朋友。
And they lived together, but they were never boyfriend and girlfriend.
他从来没有说过‘我爱你’，这太疯狂了。
And he never once said I love you, which is crazy.
因为随后她会回来这么说：听好了，制作方对他的描绘并不总是公平的。
Because then she'll come back and be like, listen, it wasn't always fair the way he was portrayed by the production.
我也不知道，老兄。
And I'm like, I don't know, man.
他从不全心全意地承诺你，这简直太糟糕了。
For him to never commit to you wholly is pretty fucked up.
看起来他们对他的描绘完全准确。
It seems like they portrayed him exactly right.
在他们关系的大部分时间里，
The majority of
她说他经常会消失好几天甚至几周。
their relationship, she says that he would disappear for days to weeks at a time.
她根本联系不上他。
She just wouldn't be able to get a hold of him.
然后当他
And then when he
听说她开始和别人约会，或者看到她和别人的照片时，就会立刻出现，说：别这样。
heard that she was dating somebody else or saw a photo of her with somebody else, he would just come right and be like, stop it.
你在干什么？
What are you doing?
然后责备她和其他人约会。
And, like, kind of scold her for dating anyone else.
然后她就会说，好吧。
And then she would be like, okay.
那你必须留下来陪我。
Then you have to stay here and be with me.
他会说，好吧。
And he would be like, okay.
我会留下来。
I'll stay here.
她会说，好吧。
And she'd be like, okay.
看到了吗？
See?
他可以改变的。
He can change.
我们在一起。
We're together.
然后他又会再这么做。
And then he would do it again.
她会说，看吧，我其实也在玩心眼。
And she'd be like, see, I was playing games too.
如果他抛弃我，我就会开始和别人约会。
If he would abandon me, I would start dating someone else.
但这根本不是同样的游戏。
And it's like, that's not the same game.
这仍然是他的规则。
It's still his rule.
如果我不在
If I wasn't at
他在他家，我在我家。
his place, was at mine.
我们日夜都在一起。
We were doing everything together day and night.
也许我那时年轻又天真，但在摄像头介入之前，一开始真的很好。
Maybe I was young and naive, but in the beginning, before the cameras got involved, it really was great.
贾斯汀向我展示，他远不止是个坏男孩或忧郁神秘的鼓手。
Justin was showing me that he was much more than just the bad boy or the brooding mysterious drummer.
他也很敏感、体贴、充满激情且富有灵魂。
He was also sensitive and caring and passionate and soulful.
我觉得只要我们彼此拥有，一切都会好起来的。
It felt like as long as we had each other, we'd be okay.
但当他开始上节目时，一切就都变了。
But when he started appearing on the show, everything kind of changed.
这不对。
That's not true.
你们认识三年后他才开始上节目，而到那时，他还没有正式和你交往。
He started the show three years after you guys met and to that moment, he still had not committed to date you.
当她谈到他总是突然消失时，她说我会把注意力转移到别处。
And when she talks about how he would just go disappearing, she goes, I would focus elsewhere.
我专注于我的演艺事业，和朋友出去玩，四处旅行。
I'm pursuing my acting career, going out with friends and traveling.
我周末几乎都不在家。
I was hardly home on the weekends.
他最近还跟我提起，说我们根本不可能在一起，因为我太忙了。
He actually brought this up to me recently saying that it could never really have worked out between us because I was so busy.
我不确定是否相信这一点。
I don't know if I buy that.
他没错，我当时确实专注于事业并做出重要决定。
He's right that I was concentrating on my career and making important decisions.
即使过了这么多年，他还说是我们没在一起是因为我的错，这简直太荒谬了。
It is insane for him even this many years later to be like, yeah, it's your fault we never worked out.
她非常想和他在一起。
She wanted to be with him so badly.
她说他看起来非常酷
She says he looked very cool
而且大多数时候都显得冷漠，但我可以向你保证，当我们独处且不在镜头前时，他要浪漫得多，也更清楚地表达过对我的感情。
and unemotional most of the time, but I can assure you when we were alone and off camera, he was much more romantic and much clearer about his feelings for me.
所以，从完全不明确到仍然不明确，他算是稍微明确了一点。
So between not clear at all and still not definitive, he was slightly clearer.
然后她谈到，他对节目中对他的描绘感到非常受伤。
And then she's talked about how he was really hurt by the way he was portrayed on the show.
即使是一些不太恶意的评论，如果有些女孩问我们是否是专属关系，或者我们是否定义了这段关系，他都会把这些视为逼他承诺或认真起来的压力。
Even the less malicious comments would bother him if some of the girls asked if we were exclusive or if we defined our relationship yet, he would internalize that as pressure to commit or get serious.
当我说的不是我自己的时候，那并不是恶意的评论。
When I wasn't even the one saying it, that is not a malicious comment.
如果他把这当作恶意评论，那这是一个非常合理的问题，去
If he's internalizing it as a malicious comment, that's a very reasonable question to
问一个已经和某人约会了四年的对象。
ask somebody who's been dating someone for like four years.
去问，哦，他是不是打算让你成为
To be like, oh, is he planning on making you
他的女朋友？
his girlfriend?
哦，你们住在一起？
Oh, you live together?
你们是一对吗？
Are you guys together?
不是？
No?
好吧。
Okay.
抱歉，我没意识到你们是室友。
Sorry that that I didn't realize you guys were roommates.
那看起来不像，因为你们在亲热。
That wasn't what it seemed like because you're necking.
但是
But
所以，是的，他们让他在第三季加入，之后他成为了常驻演员。
So, yeah, they brought him on season three and then he became a permanent part of the cast after that.
但在其中一个间歇期，她开始和克里斯·派恩约会。
But during one of the off periods though, she started dating Chris Pine.
他们是在某场音乐会或类似场合认识的，然后秘密交往，他不想参与这个节目。
They had met at some concert or something and started dating secretly, he didn't wanna be a part of the show.
所以他们不得不分手，因为正如我之前所说，她只能和愿意参与节目的人交往，因为如果对方不参与节目，而她又时刻被拍摄，她无法将生活如此分开。
So they had to break up because realistically, as I said before, she can only date somebody who will be part of the show because if they're not gonna be part of the show and she's being filmed all the time, she can't keep her life that separate.
贾斯汀也看到了我和克里斯的照片，开始感到不安。
Justin was seeing those photos of me and Chris too and he started getting upset.
但我们并没有确立恋爱关系，而且我完全可以
But we weren't in a committed relationship and I could
好几天甚至一周都听不到他的消息。
go days or even a week without hearing from him.
天哪。
Jesus Christ.
她谈到自己总是因为他在节目中被描绘的方式而感到内疚，我特别讨厌这种说法。
The way that she talks about how she feels so guilty all the time about the way that he didn't like the way he was portrayed on the show.
我非常讨厌这一点。
I hate that so much.
我认识过很多男人，他们会因为女孩在网上如何描绘自己而生气。
There are so many men that I've met who will be angry about the way that they're portrayed by a girl online.
比如，现在女性可以在社交媒体上分享自己的故事。
Like, now that women can share stories on social media.
我曾经看过一个短视频，是一个女孩和一个男生约会。
I one time saw a TikTok of a girl who went on a date with a guy.
他们一见面，男生就说：‘你比照片里胖多了’，还戳了戳她的肚子。
As soon as they met up, he said, you look bigger than in your pictures and poked her tummy.
于是她回家后心想：‘去他的’，然后拍了个视频吐槽这件事。
So she went home and she was like, fuck this and made a TikTok about it.
他疯狂给她发短信，让她把视频删掉。
And he blew up her phone text and being like, take that down.
这事儿被断章取义了。
It's out of context.
这事儿被断章取义了。
It's out of context.
这事儿是关于背景的。
It's of context.
他说：‘不，根本不是这么回事。'
It's like, no, it isn't.
如果你本身是个该死的混蛋，就别对网上对你的描绘生气。
You can't be mad about the way you're portrayed online if you're a fucking dickhead.
这只不过是你真实的模样。
That just is how you are.
看看吧。
Like, take a look.
当你
When you
看这个节目时，似乎我痴迷于贾斯汀，对他的一举一动都情绪高涨，而他却只是闷闷不乐，说些神秘莫测的话。
watch the show, it seems like I'm obsessed with Justin and feeling every emotion so intensely while he just broods and says bizarre cryptic things.
然后我们要么分手，要么搬去一起住。
And then we either break up or move in together.
分手或者搬去一起住，你就是无法释怀。
Break up or move in together, and you're not I can't get over it.
她还说，劳伦对他的评价方式不公平。
She also is like, it's not fair the way that Lauren talked about him.
不过，我确实看到，当我试图让劳伦和贾斯汀撮合时，贾斯汀并没有帮上忙。
However, I do see that Justin didn't help things when I tried to get Lauren and Justin together.
就像那个场景，我让他们一起去吃晚饭，结果贾斯汀当着她的面打了个嗝。
Like that scene where I had them get dinner and Justin belches in her face.
然后你就想，没错。
And you're like, yeah.
我不知道。
I don't know.
他怎么以为这样在镜头前会给人留下好印象？
How did he think that was gonna come across on camera?
他以为这样在镜头前会表现得很好。
He thought that was gonna play well on camera.
他对自己的形象被呈现成这样感到震惊。
He's shocked at how
他们是如何描绘他的。
they portrayed him.
他对自己在剪辑中被表现为在餐桌上打嗝的样子感到难过，因为确实有一次他在餐桌前打过嗝。
He's sad at the way he came across when they edited him to be burping at the table because of that time he burped at the table.
我得说，有一次我们出去玩，在泳池里接吻，然后他离开了，但他们剪辑成我跳进泳池，而他只是直接走了。
And I'll give her she's like, there's scenes where one time we were hanging out and we were making out in the pool and then he left, but they edited it to make it look like I got in the pool and he just like left.
我明白。
And I get it.
他们确实会剪辑内容。
They kinda edit things.
她说那些漫长的停顿——每次对话结束时，他们只是凝视着远方。
She says all of those long pauses where they're just staring into the distance at the end of every conversation.
这是被剪辑成这样的。
It's edited that way.
但同时，能不能
But also, can
我说，是不是真的存在过你们凝视远方的漫长停顿？
I say there must have been long pauses where you were staring into the distance?
嗯，我觉得如果你在听别人说话，你很可能是在看着对方。
Well, I do think if you're listening to someone speak, you're probably like looking.
所以我觉得他们可以用这种空镜画面。
So I think they can use that kind of b roll.
哦，对啊。
Oh, yeah.
但我要说，你没法把打嗝这个动作剪进场景里。
But I will say, you can't edit a burp into a scene.
你没法把这种东西剪进去。
You can't edit that in.
所以贾斯汀·博比，听她为他辩护，我觉得真疯狂。
So Justin Bobby, I don't it's crazy listening to her defense of him.
我心想，阿德里娜，阿德里娜。
I'm like, Adrina Adrina
他从来不会得病。
has never learns disease.
她确实如此。
She really does.
她的处境比我们读过的任何人都更糟。
She has it worse than anyone we've ever read.
所以在她的一段低谷时期，她遇到了一个叫科里·鲍文的人，博汉，博海安。
So during one of these off times, she meets this guy named Corey Bowen, Bohan, Bohayan.
我不知道该怎么念，你打算怎么称呼它？
What do you wanna call it for the I have no idea how to say it.
那我们怎么叫他呢？
So how are we calling it?
我们直接叫科里好吗？
Can we just say Corey?
好的。
Yeah.
他是一名自由式小轮车选手。
He's a BMX bike competitor.
起初，她并不怎么喜欢他。
At first, she doesn't like him that much.
他们当时都在和别人约会，但慢慢地，他们开始在大群体中一起相处，直到有一天，她和贾斯汀·博比分手后，制作组建议：‘你为什么不带他来约会一次？’
They're both dating other people, but slowly but surely they hang out in big groups long enough that one day after her and Justin Bobby break up, production says, why don't you bring him on for a date?
于是她给他打了电话，说：‘你愿意为了节目和我约会一次吗？’
And so she calls him up and she's like, would you be willing to go on a date with me for the show?
他回答：‘当然可以。’
He's like, sure.
她也说：‘好啊。’
And she's like, yeah.
我根本没感觉到任何火花。
I didn't even feel any sparks.
我以为我们只是在为节目演一场普通、纯粹的假约会。
I thought we were just having a totally normal platonic fake date for the show.
但当他把我送回公寓后，给了我一个漫长而热烈的吻，我才意识到，整个约会其实都是真的。
But after he dropped me off at my apartment, he gave me this long hard kiss, and it turned out the whole date had been real.
我想这就是我问她节目是不是假的时候说的话。
And I think this is what I say when to ask her was the show fake?
她不知道。
She doesn't know.
她真的不知道。
She really doesn't.
她谈论约会和约会时的样子，她说这显然是真的，因为摄像机关掉后，他还是亲了我。
The way that she talks about dating and dates and stuff, she's like, it was clearly real because when the cameras were off, he still kissed me.
这并不是说摄像机是否在录制。
And it's like, it's not literally cameras rolling or not rolling.
贾斯汀和博比是如何钻空子上节目的，以及他们分手后还能继续留在节目中，这并不意味着你们在一起和不在一起的时间是完全分开的。
The way that Justin and Bobby weaseled his way onto the show and then stayed on the show after they broke up, that doesn't mean times that you guys weren't together and the times that you were together are all completely separate times.
即使没有摄像机在场，科里仍然可能在试图上节目，或者以其他方式操纵你。
Like, Corey still could have been trying to get on the show or still could have been manipulating you in different ways just because there wasn't literally a camera there.
但另一方面，她没有权利自己决定什么是真实的，什么不是。
But also, the idea that she doesn't get to decide for herself what's real or what's not.
是的。
Yeah.
她以为是一次假约会，结果对方却真诚地亲吻了她，这种想法让我难以接受。
The idea that something she could have thought was a fake date would then get to kiss her sincerely.
我认为这正是让我感到不安的地方。
I think that's what's upsetting to me.
她经常谈到，随着节目后期的发展，她逐渐筑起了一道心理防线来保护自己。
She talks a lot about how she developed in the later seasons an armor and a way to protect herself.
她曾声称，到了某个阶段，无论别人当面说什么，都不会再伤害她，因为她学会了屏蔽那些黑粉，但我不确定这是否真的成立。
And she claims at one point she got to the point where anybody could say anything to her face and it would not hurt her because she learned to just shut out the haters, which I don't know that I believe truly.
我不觉得奥德琳娜有那么坚强。
I don't think Audrina is that tough.
但她说，她能意识到那只是‘角色奥德琳娜’，而她只是在扮演这个角色。
But she says she was able to see it as that's the character Audrina and she's playing Audrina.
但真正让我为她担心的是：她自己都不知道，那次约会时出现的是‘角色奥德琳娜’还是‘真实的奥德琳娜’，直到对方决定那是一次‘真实的约会’。
But the idea that she doesn't know if character Audrina or real Audrina was on that date until he decides that it was a real date, that's what makes me nervous for her.
而且她根本没想过自己会有选择的余地。
And also it wasn't even in her mind that she would have a place to decide.
她的脑子里根本没有空间去想：我到底喜不喜欢这个男生？
There was no space in her brain to be like, do I actually like this guy?
当她和科里开始约会时，事情又回到了贾斯汀身上。
When her and Corey start dating, it gets back
回到贾斯汀。
to Justin.
贾斯汀显然很生气。
Justin's obviously mad.
她说：贾斯汀，你都不愿意对我承诺，那我为什么要对你承诺？
And she said, Justin, you won't commit to me, so why should I commit to you?
这不公平。
That's not fair.
贾斯汀在外面约会，做着各种各样的事，却指望我坐在家里等他打电话。
Justin was out there dating and doing God knows what and expected me to be sitting around waiting for him to call.
在多年忍耐、找借口并抱着希望之后，我终于指出了这种双重标准。
After years of putting up with it and making excuses and holding on to hope, I finally called him out on the double standard.
从那以后，贾斯汀就开始不出现拍片了。
So after that point, Justin just started not showing up to film.
他无视制片人的电话。
He ignores calls from the producers.
他变得非常生气。
He got really mad.
《山丘》剧终时，我和贾斯汀在一起。
The end of the Hills, Justin and I were together.
他上节目是因为和我的关系。
He was on the show because of his relationship with me.
但既然我们已经分手，我本以为他会退出节目。
But now that we're no longer together, I expected him to go off the air.
他们让他继续留在节目中，甚至编造了他和克里斯汀之间的关系，而他心甘情愿、愉快地参与其中，只为让他留在节目中。
They kept him on the air and they even manufactured a relationship between him and Kristen that he willingly and like happily participated in to keep him on the show.
奥德琳看起来非常受伤和震惊，但我只想说，奥德琳。
Which Audrina seems like very hurt and shocked by, but I just wanna be like, Audrina.
然后她讲述了制作方如何极力希望她和克里斯滕为此大吵一架。
So then she tells the story how production really wanted her to have this explosive fight with Kristen about it.
但她并不打算满足他们。
She wasn't gonna give it to them.
她就说：不。
She's like, no.
我不在乎。
I'm not I don't care.
我不会为了贾斯汀·博比和克里斯滕吵架。
I'm not having a fight with Kristen over Justin Bobby.
于是他们把她的车堵在车道上，不让她 physically 离开，直到她和克里斯滕吵完架。
So they blocked her car in the driveway and wouldn't physically let her leave until she had the fight with Kristen.
于是她打电话给她的经纪人和律师，问：我法律上能做什么？
And so then she calls her agents and her lawyers being like, well, what can I legally do?
他们把我 physically困在这个地方，逼我跟人吵架。
They have me physically trapped at this place trying to get me to have a fight.
她说，与此同时，克里斯汀已经不想再等下去了。
And she goes, meanwhile, Kristen didn't wanna wait around anymore.
所以她在那里努力让我平静下来，好拍完这场戏，赶紧了事。
So she was there trying to calm me down just enough to film the scene and get it over with.
我们在镜头外笑谈此事，但是
We laughed about it off camera, but
在镜头前，我们大喊大叫、怒目相对，把戏演好了。
on camera we yelled and glared and made it work.
这真是太奇怪了，她居然表现得好像克里斯汀是来拯救一切、解决所有问题的救星。
That is such a weird the way that she acts like Kristen was the savior who came and worked it all out.
所以制片人还是如愿以偿了。
So the producers still got what they wanted.
制片人还是如愿以偿了。
The producers still got what they wanted.
克里斯滕仍然在配合剧情，扮演她正在约会奥德琳娜的前男友。
Kristen was still going along with the storyline where she's dating Audrina's ex.
她仍然在不断挑逗奥德琳娜，想引发争执。
She's still like coaxing a fight out of Audrina.
而奥德琳娜则离开了现场，觉得自己掌控了局面。
And Audrina walked away from the situation being like, I was in control.
是的。
Yeah.
这种剧情设定非常古怪，而且她似乎在心里已经接受了这一切。
It's very bizarre the way it's written and the way that she seems to have made peace with it in her mind.
她说贾斯汀和克里斯滕的关系起初是假的，但他们在幕后经常一起聚会。
She says that Justin's relationship with Kristen started out fake, but they began partying together behind the scenes a lot.
我认为，尽管他最初动机比较 cynical，但可能已经开始对她动了真情。
I think he might have started catching feelings for her despite his more cynical intentions.
我不在乎。
I didn't care.
我不想知道。
I didn't want to know.
然后她说，这真的
And then she says this, which really
这太可怕了。
This is horrifying.
你也要读同样的
Are you about to read the same
这段话吗？
line I'm about to read?
我认为我们不能回头说，因为这个节目，我们从未给这段关系100%的努力。
I don't think we can look back and say that we ever gave our relationship a 100% because of the show.
然后她又大谈特谈自己多么感激
And then she goes on this whole thing about how grateful she is to
认识贾斯汀。
know Justin anyway.
首先，我的意思是，你们的关系多持续了四年半，是因为他想上电视。
First of all, I mean We Your relationship went on for an extra four and a half years because he wanted to be on TV.
而且，如果他愿意，你早就毫不犹豫地给这段关系打满分了。
Also, like, you would have given it a 100% at the drop of the hat if he had let you.
你不能说我们从来没给过满分。
You can't say we never give it a 100%.
如果有人选择不给你满分，你就不能说：‘唉，我们其实从来没努力过。’
If somebody is choosing not to give you a 100%, you can't be like, well, we never really tried.
他们根本不想。
They didn't want to.
那也算努力了。
That counts as trying.
你努力了。
You tried.
你努力了。
You tried.
他们没有回以努力。
They didn't try back.
那也算是努力了。
That is trying.
我的意思是，我们稍后会谈到这一点，但她真的完全不理解什么是努力让一段关系维系下去。
I mean, we'll get into this later, but she has like a real lack of understanding about what it means to try and make a relationship work.
然后她说了一句极其可怕的话。
Then she says an absolutely horrifying line.
她说：我经常被问到，你们最后会在一起吗？
She says, I'm often asked, will we end up together?
很长一段时间里，我都无法回答这个问题。
For so long, I couldn't answer that question.
我的意思是，你们根本就不是情侣。
I mean, you were never even in a relationship.
你们会最终在一起吗？
Will you end up together?
你甚至都没让他叫你女朋友。
You couldn't even get him to call you his girlfriend.
事实上，我不能确定我们的恋爱关系已经结束了。
The truth is, I cannot say with certainty that our romantic relationship is over.
我无法否认我们之间自然的联系和化学反应。
I can't deny our natural connection and chemistry.
我们一直经历着起起落落。
We've continued to have our ups and downs.
我只是想坐下来好好跟她说，奥德丽娜，莱昂纳多·迪卡普里奥从房间另一头看到了你。
I just wanna, like, sit her down and be like, Audrina, Leonardo DiCaprio saw you from across the room.
你真的很美。
Like, you're gorgeous.
人们都喜欢你。
People like you.
你很有趣。
You're fun.
你人很好。
You're nice.
她经常谈论自己非凡的音乐品味。
She talks a lot about her great taste in music.
去找别人试试吧。
Try with someone else.
仅仅因为你遇到了一个人，并不意味着你必须让这个人成为你余生的唯一。
Just because you've met someone doesn't mean you have to make that person you're one and only for the rest of your life.
我也不能断然切断联系。
I also can't cut over.
我们会最终在一起吗？
Will we end up together?
很长一段时间，我都无法回答。
For so long, I couldn't answer.
但说实话，我依然无法回答。
But the truth is, I cannot answer.
在多年不知情之后，我得出结论：她后来更多地谈到了扮演奥德琳这个角色，这在某种程度上涵盖了我们之前说的很多内容。
After many years of not knowing, I've come to the conclusion that I Then don't she gets into more about playing the role of Audrina, and it kind of covers a lot of what we said.
这本书的内容并不多。
There's not a ton to this book.
这是一个令人压力很大的话题。
This is a stressful line.
是的。
Yeah.
她说，在某种程度上，当我度过二十岁出头、应对职业生涯和各种感情问题时，整个制作过程几乎像是一种疗愈。
She says, in some ways, I found all of the production almost therapeutic as I navigated my early twenties, my career, and various relationship issues.
为了节目效果，你得深入挖掘，坦露你的不满。
For the sake of good TV, you dig deep and lay out your grievances.
在某种程度上，这实际上相当健康，制作人足够了解我们，能提出深刻的问题，并引导我们对彼此的关系或行为得出新的结论。
In some ways, it's actually quite healthy and the producers knew us well enough to ask deep questions and push us towards new conclusions about our relationships or behavior.
他们几乎就像治疗师一样。
They were almost like therapists.
不。
No.
不是的。
It's not.
他们在操纵你。
They're manipulating you.
他们的工作就是让你拍出好看的电视节目。
It's their job to make you make good TV.
他们不是为了你的心理健康而来的。
They're not there for your mental health.
这些人在后来将她关进疗养院，并让她与克里斯滕·卡瓦拉里发生争执。
These are the people that would later lock her into a home and make her fight with Kristen Cavallari.
最终，真实与制作之间的灰色地带激励我创造了一个独立的荧幕形象。
Eventually, the gray area between what was real and what was produced inspired me to create a separate on air persona.
那就是她提出奥德琳娜的时候。
That's when she comes up with Audrina.
然后她又讲了更多关于拍摄中制造的争吵带来的负面影响的故事。
And then she just tells more stories about the way that the produced fighting had negative effects.
比如有一次，他们试图编造一个剧情，说奥德琳娜在勾引斯宾塞。
Like one time they try to make a storyline that Audrina was hitting on Spencer.
但这里我不明白的是。
And here's what I don't understand.
他们让这件事发生的办法是，她正要去机场，他们却说：‘嘿，你介意顺路去一下这家冻酸奶店吗？’
So the way they made that happen is she was on the way to an airport and they're like, hey, do you mind just stopping off at this froyo place?
我们需要你赶紧拍个镜头。
We need you to film a scene real quick.
她到了之后，发现斯宾塞正拿着花在那里等她。
She gets there and there's Spencer with flowers.
这件事显然被泄露给了希迪，说斯宾塞和奥德琳娜有个浪漫的冻酸奶约会——天啊，你听说过比这更2007年的东西吗？
That gets leaked obviously to Heidi that Spencer and Audrina had this romantic froyo date, which Jesus Christ, have you ever heard anything more 2007 than a romantic froyo date?
后来，他们所有人都要去拉斯维加斯参加一个派对。
Later, they're all going to a party in Vegas.
制作人把斯宾塞和奥德里娜拦住，这样当他们所有人走进海蒂把守的门口时，看起来就像是他们一起出现的。
Producers hold back Spencer and Audrina so that then when they all walk through the door where Heidi is managing the door, it looks like they came together.
海蒂和奥德里娜发生了争吵。
Heidi and Audrina get into a fight.
她不相信这件事。
She doesn't believe it.
但我忍不住想，为什么斯宾塞不向海蒂解释清楚情况呢？
But I'm like, why didn't Spencer explain to Heidi what the deal was?
你难道
Like Have you
看过这个节目吗？
watched the show?
没怎么看过。
Not really.
斯宾塞简直就是混乱的化身。
Spencer literally exists as an agent of chaos.
他就是纯粹的邪恶，来自地狱最深处。
He is pure evil, straight from the depths of hell.
他用该死的锁喉控制着海蒂，看着都让人害怕，更让我崩溃的是，他们到今天还在一起。
He has Heidi in a fucking headlock and it's terrifying to watch and it really fucks me up that they're together to this day.
如果制片人去找斯宾塞，说‘你需要去和奥德丽娜发生关系来制造戏剧效果’，他肯定会
If the producers went to Spencer and they said, need you to go have sex with Audrina for drama, he would have
照做。
done it.
可悲的是，海蒂真的对奥德丽娜感到伤心，却根本不知道发生了什么。
It's just sad that Heidi genuinely was upset with Audrina and didn't know what was happening.
而奥德丽娜却说：‘我根本不知道冷冻酸奶店会有谁。’
And Audrina's like, I didn't even know who'd be at the froyo shop.
这不怪我。
It's not my fault.
我不知道他们为什么拦住我。
I didn't know what they were holding me back.
这不是我的错。
It's not my fault.
也不是她的错。
And it's not her fault.
但斯宾塞买了花。
But like Spencer bought flowers.
斯宾塞让他的女朋友以为他和奥德丽娜有染，因为斯宾塞会做任何事来保持自己的关注度。
And Spencer let his girlfriend think that he was hooking up with Adrina because Spencer will do anything to like remain relevant.
他多次说过，他知道自己的任务就是上这个节目扮演反派。
He has said a lot of times that he was like, I knew it was my job to come on to that show and play the villain.
这简直更糟糕。
And it's like, that's like worse almost.
无论节目中的友谊是否真实，他通过扮演反派对人们造成了无法挽回的伤害。
Whether the friendships on the show were ever real, he did irreparably fuck people up by playing the villain.
这并不是一部有剧本的电视剧。
This was not a scripted TV show.
就像你说的，真实的人们的生活卷入了这场风波。
Like you said, real people's lives got caught up in the fallout.
然后她谈到了《千金女贼：新起点》，我没看过《千金女贼》，但我
She then talks about The Hills, New Beginnings, which I didn't watch The Hills, but I
我知道《千金女贼》。
knew The Hills.
我没看过《千金女贼：新起点》。
I didn't watch The Hills, New Beginnings.
我没看过《新起点》。
I did not watch New Beginnings.
我也不了解《千金女贼：新起点》。
And I don't know The Hills, New Beginnings.
她确实说她现在和希迪和斯宾塞是朋友。
She does say that her and Heidi and Spencer are friends now.
她真的很喜欢希迪，尽管她们之间有起有落。
She really likes Heidi even though they have their ups and downs.
但她确实提到另一位有经验的真人秀明星是斯蒂芬妮·普拉特，挑拨离间的女王。
But she does say another savvy reality TV vet is Stephanie Pratt, the queen of stirring the pot.
斯蒂芬妮自己并没有太多话说，但她四处游荡，寻找机会在朋友之间制造矛盾。
Stephanie doesn't actually have a lot to say on her own, but she wanders around looking for opportunities to create drama between friends.
她是唯一一个被她说出如此刻薄话语的人，那就是斯蒂芬妮·普拉特。
This is the only person she says something like truly mean about is Stephanie Pratt.
她说，克里斯滕·卡瓦拉里和斯蒂芬妮·普拉特的区别在于，斯蒂芬妮确实是个麻烦制造者。
She says the difference between Kristen Cavallari and Stephanie Pratt is that Stephanie truly is a troublemaker.
她一直以来，无论在镜头前还是镜头后，都是这样的人。
That's who she's always been both on and off camera.
多年来，我一直被警告要小心她，永远不要相信她。
I'd been warned for years to be careful around her and never to trust her.
我听说她并不忠诚。
I've been told that she's not loyal.
她不会在你需要的时候站在你这边。
She's not there for you.
她会立刻背弃你。
She turns her back on you in a second.
我与她合作《新开始》的经历证实了这一点。
And my experiences with her to come on The Hills New Beginnings would prove it.
那么我们回到她和科里的完整故事。
So then we go back into the full story with her and Corey.
他们于2006年相遇，当时《山丘》仍在播出，而她正与贾斯汀·博比分分合合。
They meet in 2006 when The Hills was still on and it was one of the times that she was still on and off with Justin Bobby.
在那时，他们已经分手了。
And at this point, they were off.
然后贾斯汀·博比发现她正在和这个叫科里的男人交往，便开始试图挽回她。
Then Justin Bobby finds out that she's talking to this guy, Corey, and starts trying to get her back.
科里看到一条贾斯汀发来的短信，上面写着：‘首先，永远要明确自己的心意。’这太可怕了。
Corey sees a text from Justin that says, just know your mind first and always, which horrifying.
但科里看到了，吓坏了。
But Corey sees it, freaks out.
她最后说：听好了，我和贾斯汀的事还没完，所以我们不能再见面了。
She ends up being like, listen, the thing with me and Justin is not over, so we shouldn't see each other anymore.
她又重新和贾斯汀在一起，然后再次和他分手。
She starts with Justin again, breaks up with Justin again.
她说，有一段时间，我的情绪太混乱了，以至于《山丘》的制作团队都问我到底发生了什么。
She says, like, at one point, my energy was so confusing that the Hills production team asked me what was going on.
我明显和贾斯汀联系很多，制片人说：如果你要和贾斯汀复合、和科里分手，麻烦告诉我们，我们需要拍下来。
I was clearly talking to Justin a lot, and the producer said, if you're getting back together with Justin and breaking up with Corey, let us know we need to film it.
有这种外部压力真是太奇怪了。
It was so strange to have that outside pressure.
我并没有和科里分手，因为我们根本没正式在一起；我也不是在和贾斯汀复合，因为我们从未正式交往过。
I wasn't breaking up with Corey because we weren't really together, and I wasn't getting back together with Justin because we were never officially together.
难道一个女孩就不能安安静静地约会吗？
Couldn't a girl date in peace?
我的意思是，根本不可能。
I mean, literally, no.
不幸的是，你把这两个男人带进了你参加的真人秀节目。
Unfortunately, you've brought both of these men onto the reality TV show that you're on.
我认为你有权自己理清感情，但一旦你把他们带上电视，就不能在镜头外约会了。
I do think that you deserve to be able to figure it out for yourself, but you can't date off camera once you've brought them on TV.
后来他们分手了，她开始提到瑞安·卡布雷拉。
At some point, they break up and she starts saying Ryan Cabrera.
你们还记得他吗？
Do you guys remember him?
这是阿德里娜途中短暂的停留。
This was a quick stop on the way down for Adrina.
明白了吗？
Get it?
当艾希莉·辛普森的节目首播时，他也和艾希莉·辛普森约会过吗？
Did he also date Ashley Simpson when the Ashley Simpson show premiered?
是的。
Yeah.
她谈论了瑞安·卡布雷拉。
She talks about Ryan Cabrera.
据说瑞安·卡布雷拉以举办疯狂派对闻名，而且是世界上最好的人。
Apparently, Ryan Cabrera was known for having sick parties and was like the nicest man in the world.
她很喜欢和他约会。
She loved dating him.
她说，很高兴能
She says, was glad to
和一个明显对我感情强烈、又不害怕表达的人在一起。
be with someone who obviously felt so strongly about me and wasn't afraid to show it.
但我承认，我感觉有点压抑。
But I admit, I felt a little stifled.
她说瑞安是地球上最快乐的人，和他在一起非常愉快。
She says Ryan is truly the happiest person on earth and such a delight to be around.
随着时间推移，我们感觉彼此之间有了火花。
Over time, we felt like there were sparks.
与贾斯汀相比，莱恩情感上更开放，无论发生什么都会在我身边。
Compared to Justin, Ryan was emotionally available and there for me no matter what.
他会突然出现，给我带来我最爱的糖果、旅行，或任何能让我开心的事。
He would show up and surprise me with my favorite candy or trips or anything to brighten my day.
他总是体贴、善良，而且非常浪漫。
He was always thoughtful and kind and so romantic.
他会为我做饭，放着音乐，点上蜡烛，铺上毯子安排一场电影之夜。
He'd cook dinner for me with music and candle lighter, set up a movie night with blankets.
没有任何不确定性，没有几周不联系的情况，也不用猜我在他心中的位置。
There was no uncertainty, no weeks of no communication, and no wondering where I stood.
问题是，她说，我并没有像自己希望的那样对他如痴如醉。
The problem is, she says, I wasn't as head over heels for him as I wanted to be.
最重要的是，我从不希望伤害他或破坏我们的友谊。
Above all, I never wanted to hurt him or jeopardize our friendship.
幸运的是，她和他分手了。
Luckily, she breaks up with him.
他们保持朋友关系。
They stay friends.
他看起来像是有史以来最棒的男生。
He seems like the greatest guy of all time.
是啊。
Yeah.
我认为总的来说，她根本不知道自己想要什么。
I think that overall, she just has no idea what she wants.
她太困惑了。
She's so confused.
而且我可以告诉你，如果你需要答案，Everlywell 是你的不二之选？
And can I tell you, if you need answers, Everlywell is your place?
你知道得越多，就能做得越多。
When you know more, you can do more.
如果你能用科学来更深入了解自己的身体呢？
What if you could use science to discover more about your body?
通过Everlywell了解为更健康明天所需的信息。
Find out what you need for a healthier tomorrow with Everlywell.
这是一款专为你设计的数字医疗服务，价格实惠且透明，这对我来说是最重要的，因为我必须告诉你，许多医疗服务都缺乏透明定价。
It's a digital health care designed for you all at an affordable and transparent price, which is to me the most important thing because let me tell you, a lot of health care lacks that transparent pricing.
Everlywell还提供高品质的维生素和补充剂，以支持您的整体健康。
Everlywell also has high quality vitamins and supplements to support your overall health.
您可以从多种选择中挑选，包括维生素D、维生素D3和Omega-3鱼油。
Choose from a variety of options, including vitamin d, vitamin d three, and omega three fish oil.
他们提供超过30种居家检测服务，您可以选择最适合您的检测项目，以获得所需的答案，例如女性健康检测或食物敏感性检测。
They have over 30 at home lab tests, and you'll be able to choose the test that makes the most sense for you to get the answers you need, like the women's health test or the food sensitivity test.
因此，Everlywell会将产品连同所有所需物品一并直接寄送到您手中。
So EverlyWell ships the products straight to you with everything you need all in one package.
您在家完成检测，采集样本，使用随附的预付邮资标签，将检测样本寄回认证实验室。
So you do your at home test, you collect a sample, you use the included prepaid shipping label, and you mail the test back to a certified lab.
您的医生审阅后的检测结果将在几天内直接发送到您的手机，您可以将结果分享给您的主治医生，以帮助您规划下一步行动。
Your physician reviewed results will get sent right back to your phone in just days, and you can share the results with your primary care physician to help guide you for the next steps.
所以克莱尔和我正准备做食物敏感性测试，天啊，我真迫不及待想知道最近让我如此敏感的原因是什么。
So Claire and I are getting ready to take the food sensitivity test, and boy, oh boy, I cannot wait to find out what's making me feel so sensitive lately.
对于本节目的听众，EverlyWell 正在提供专属折扣：在 everlywell.com/worm 上享受家用检测产品 20% 的优惠。
For listeners of this show, Everly Well is offering a special discount of 20% off at home lab tests at everlywell.com/worm.
访问 everlywell.com/worm，即可享受下次家用检测产品 20 美元的折扣。
That's everlywell.com/worm for 20 off your next at home lab test.
访问 everlywell.com/worm。
That's everlywell.com/worm.
就在这关键时刻，猜猜谁又重新回到了她的生活中？
And just in the nick of time, guess who worms his way back into her life?
于是她和莱恩分手了。
So she breaks up with Ryan.
由于制作安排，他们原本已经计划参加他下一场演唱会，所以即使她已经甩了他，两人仍不得不如期赴约。
Because of production, they'd already been scheduled to hang out at his next concert, so they still had to go through with it even though she had dumped him.
于是她去看了这场演唱会。
So she goes to this concert.
她一路上都在哭。
She's crying the whole time.
她开车回家时，谁打来了电话？
She drives home, and who should call?
科里。
Corey.
接下来发生的事证明了那句话：时机就是一切。
What happened next proves the saying, timing is everything.
科里最突出的特点就是绝佳的时机把握。
And one thing Corey has above all else is incredible timing.
我不觉得这是真的。
I don't think that's true.
我认为，无论他选择什么时候关注她，在她心里那都是对的时机。
I think that whatever timing he chooses to focus on her is the right timing in her mind.
我的意思是，他是她已经两次拒绝过的人。
I mean, is somebody she's already not chosen twice.
是的。
Yeah.
这是她曾经交往过的人。
This is somebody that like she's hooked up with.
他们渐渐淡出了。
They they kinda faded.
他们开始约会了。
They started dating.
她没有选择他。
She didn't choose him.
现在他又回来了。
Now he's back.
他们会约会、分手、再约会、再分手。
They will date and break up and date and break up.
接下来整整七年都是这样。
For the next like seven years.
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