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由听众制作。
A Listener Production.
打开你的网络，因为哈米什和安迪的播客马上开始，三、二，抱歉。
Activate your Internet because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three, two sorry.
还在缓冲中。
Still buffering.
一。
One.
向我的刷子问好。
Ahoy to me brushes.
哈米什，非常感谢你。
Hamish, thank you very much.
我希望杰克是油，你可能是刀片，我们合起来就像一把剃须刀。
I hope Jack's probably the oil and you might be the blades and we're parts of a beard trimmer.
哦，明白了。
Oh, okay.
不是。
No.
不是。
No.
哎哟，我的杆子。
Ahoy to me rods.
杰克。
Jack.
好吧。
Okay.
你刚才说刷子的时候，我想到，鼓槌也许就是用来敲鼓的东西。
I was thinking when you said brushes, maybe drum were parts of what you could drum with.
你说对了。
You've got it.
我们还有别的选择，不用普通的鼓棒。
We have the alternative to sticks when it comes to regular drumsticks.
刷子、细棒、鸡毛、香蕉。
Brushes, rods, chicken, banana.
我用的是槌子。
I was mallets.
什么叫细棒？
What's a rod?
细棒就是那些细长的棍子。
A rod is the canes.
你知道的，其实就是刷子那种东西。
You know, like, it's basically brushes.
你不懂。
You don't know.
好吧。
Okay.
其实就是那些I型的
It's basically the Is
这是贴纸杆吗？
it a sticker rod?
它属于杆类的一种。
Well, it's Type of from the rod genus.
它看起来像
It it look
看起来像四根筷子绑在一起。
it looks like four chopsticks tied together.
我见过这种东西。
I have seen that.
对。
Yeah.
它其实就是比刷子更进阶的版本。
And it's a it's basically a step up from brushes.
刷子比较软。
Brushes are soft.
对。
Yep.
你得敲击那些杆子。
You hit the rods.
是的。
Mhmm.
然后就换成木棍了。
Then you stick to sticks.
没错。
Yes.
接着就用钛块了。
And then you go to titanium blocks.
不建议这么做。
Wouldn't recommend it.
那才是最硬的声音。
That for the hardest sound.
为了保护鼓皮，我不建议这么做。
For the safety of your drum skin, wouldn't recommend it.
不过如果是专业人士操作的话，
In the hands of a professional, they
还是可以用的。
can be used.
也向保罗问好。
Ahoy also to Paul.
我去了 hamishandandy.com，用了那个特别简单的系统。
I went to hamishandandy.com, used the very easy to use system.
跟我们说说他最近在忙什么。
Tell us what he's been up to.
你好，HNA 和那个小男孩。
Ahoy, HNA and the little boy.
这里是保罗，来自阳光海岸的播客。
This is Paul Podcasting in from the Sunshine Coast.
只是想知道安迪现在怎么样了，他会不会在娶贝克之前先离婚。
Just wondering what's happening with Andy and whether he's gonna be getting a divorce before he marries Bec.
回想一下2009年那次乘大帆船横渡恶海、前往范戴门岛的冒险。
Just to cast your minds back to 2009 on the tall ship adventure across the Bastard to Van Damen's land.
对。
Right.
哈米什逼着安迪娶了一只老鼠新娘，叫斯泰西。
Hamish ordered Andy to marry a rat bride, Stacy.
想弄清楚现在到底是什么情况，这事还在进行吗？他要先满足什么条件才能娶贝克？
Just wondering what's the go here, whether this is still going on, what needs to happen before he marries Bec.
好了，回头再聊。
Anyway, catch you
各位。
boys.
是的。
Yeah.
好的。
Okay.
据我所知，那
To my knowledge, that
还没有被宣布无效。
hasn't been annulled.
当时有
There was
嗯，这是个让大家跟上节奏的测试。
a well, a test to bring people up to speed.
我们确实有过一次从澳大利亚大陆到塔斯马尼亚岛的帆船冒险，塔斯马尼亚是澳大利亚旁边的一个岛。
We did do a tall ship adventure from the Mainland Australia to Tasmania, an island off Australia.
你是船上的领队海军上将。
You were the leader admiral on the ship.
我不太清楚你那边情况怎么样。
I don't know what you you got.
我是上将。
You you I was an admiral.
你命令我，没错。
And you ordered me Yep.
因为所有人都得听你的命令，才能娶一只老鼠。
Because everyone had to follow your orders to order to marry a rat.
在国家的水域里。
In the nation's waters.
我猜那只老鼠已经死了。
I would imagine the rat's dead.
是的。
Yeah.
老鼠，老鼠。
Rat rat
真是个混蛋。
What a pig.
生活真是荒唐透顶。
Life is ridiculous.
不然还能怎样呢。
Otherwise.
最多三到四年。
Three three to four years maximum.
所以可能早早就没了。
So Probably died a bit
是被你伤透了心才走的，你根本是个糟糕的丈夫。
earlier of a broken heart because you were a terrible husband.
婚礼上你冷落她，之后也一直不理她。
You ignored her at the wedding, and you ignored her subsequently.
听说你们根本没怎么圆房。
And I hear you barely consummated it.
我至少亲了新娘一下。
I kissed the bride,
我们只是互相安慰罢了。
our airing consolation.
并没有。
Didn't
只是勉强而已。
Barely.
我确实没有。
I didn't.
当时有些问题。
There were issues.
我记得你从房间里出来过。
I think I remember you coming out of the room.
我会的。
I'll be
所以你记住这一点。
so remember this.
你说过这事不会发生。
And you said it's not gonna happen.
我说过我不会问问题，
I said I won't ask questions,
但这真可惜。
but that's a shame.
所以，是三年到四年吧。
So, yeah, three to four years.
出了事你总不能什么都不做吧，要是你伴侣去世了？
What happened do you have you don't just do a null if your if your partner does die
天哪。
Oh my god.
那你就是寡妇了，我觉得这样就可以再婚，不用办什么手续。
Then you're a widow, so then you can remarry, I think, without any paperwork.
最后这些事要办手续吗？
Is it paperwork involved in the at the end of that?
你不清楚婚姻状况，还是说
Do you you don't know the marriage or is
我觉得，不管怎样，涉及跨地区婚姻的法律问题时。
I think when you're dealing with the legalities of an interspecial wedding anyway.
是的。
Yeah.
这很好。
It's great.
可能第一件事是
Probably the first thing
律师会说，当然，先生。
the lawyer would say is Yes, sir.
只是想让你安心。
Oh, just to put your mind at ease.
首先，中国大陆和塔斯马尼亚之间并不存在公海。
First of all, there's no international waters between the Mainland and Tasmania.
其次，你并没有真的和巴特·拉特结婚。
And then second of all, you didn't marry Bat Rath.
是的。
Yeah.
但你心里已经认了，而且你是在上将的命令下跟他结的婚。
But you did in your heart, and that's you married him on Admiral's orders.
所以我觉得你其实
And so I think you're
已经脱身了
off the hook
因为你现在是丧偶状态。
because you are a widower.
不错。
Nice.
这种说法可真不常见。
Very, very rare that you have that response.
好消息。
Great news.
好消息。
Great news.
你的那位老鼠妻子已经去世了。
Your rat wife died
哈塞尔伍德家。
the Hasselwood
很多年前就去世了，而且我们
died many years ago, and we
一直没收到她那边的任何反诉。
haven't heard from her launch any counterclaims.
你我
You I
本以为你一动工盖房子，那只老鼠就会冒出来，说不行。
would thought once you started building that house, the rat would come out and go, uh-uh.
哦，是的。
Oh, yeah.
试着起飞吧。
Try and take off.
有名的采集者和淘金者。
Renowned, foragers and gold diggers.
老鼠。
Rats.
海姆，金色日子发生了。
Haim, Golden Day happened.
说到黄金，这周发生了金色日子的事。
Speaking of gold, Golden Day happened this week.
现在到了该把信用卡交给你们的时刻。
This is the moment where we'll give you the a credit card.
我们有一张新的。
We've got a new one.
那不是钛金属做的厚卡，就是张普通的信用卡，海姆觉得挺失望的，杰克。
It wasn't titanium and thick and metal, just a regular credit card, which Haim was disappointed at, Jack.
就一张。
It's one
这可是我唯一的条件。
of my only conditions.
你有机会花掉一整个比特币的精华部分——扣掉资本利得税后还剩七万五千美元，纯正的老派玩法。
Your chance to spend the best part of a Bitcoin, $75,000 after capital gains tax and You know, old school version.
谢天谢地。
Thank god.
你们有一小时的时间来试用，这事儿我们分两期讲。
And you and you were granted an hour to try this this is a two parter for us.
想在互联网上引爆这玩意儿。
Trying to unleash the beast on the Internet.
是的。
Yeah.
你真是个冲动消费的人。
You're such an impulse buyer.
我们本来指望你能通过这次彻底戒掉。
We were hoping that you would flush it out of your system.
也许该试试厌恶疗法。
Maybe aversion therapy.
没错。
Yep.
顺便问一下，效果怎么样？
How'd that go, by the way?
这法子没治好我。
It hasn't cured me.
对。
Mhmm.
我想你得再等一阵子才能知道结果。
I guess you won't know for a little bit.
对吧？
Right?
你不是得
Like, don't you have to
我从那以后就一直觉得
I came out of it going
我可以再买了。
I could buy again.
是的。
Yeah.
我真的想再买一次。
I I want to buy again.
我把口哨弄丢了。
I spilled my whistle.
我在想。
I wonder.
就是就是
It's it's
好吧。
Okay.
这让我挺感兴趣的。
It's got me interested.
所以我们第一部分没做好。
So we failed on the first part.
第二部分是我们收集
The second part was we were gathering
我的意思是，坐下来的时候，75岁了，你心里肯定想，这总该让我把这事儿了了吧。
I mean, it was crazy to sit down and go I mean, 75 you were like, surely this has to get it out of my system.
你会听到，有些时候简直像疯了一样。
And, you know, as you'll hear, there are moments where you're just like, it's a frenzy.
简直像疯了一样。
It's a frenzy.
说白了，我当时放任自己展现了一面连我自己都不太想承认的个性，但那时候我被完全允许随心所欲地释放。
Basically, I was just giving myself over to a side of myself that I'm not proud about, but I was given full permission to just roam freely.
天哪。
Wow.
我还没听过回放。
I haven't heard it back.
我当时根本不知道房间里发生了什么，杰克。
I didn't know what was going on in the room, Jack.
我被安排在房间外，每十分钟才被允许进去一下，对。
I was stationed outside the room, and every ten minutes, I was allowed just to pop in Yeah.
进去看看他在买什么，好掌握一下情况，别闹得太离谱。
And just see what he was buying, just to get a sense of it so it wasn't going too crazy.
对吧？
Right?
去，你知道的，下个采购单。
Go, you know, purchase order.
现在呢，因为我们在这儿买的东西，根本目的就是为了以后我们的游戏节目用。
Now because, obviously, the purchases we make here, the whole point of this is for later on when we have our game show.
对。
Mhmm.
这些是奖品上限，不是给我自己买的。
This is the prize cap these aren't for me.
这些是准备送给听众们的奖品池。
This is the prize pool that we will be giving to the listeners.
没错。
Yep.
我的疯狂购物，最终受益的是他们。
They benefit from my frenzy.
而且，很多奖品都会保密，不对外公开。
And, obviously, a lot of these prizes will remain under wraps and remain a secret.
但为了让大伙儿有点概念，每隔十分钟左右，安迪就能进来检查一下，冲我喊一句：你刚买了啥？
But just so people could get a glimpse, every ten minutes or so, Andy could just, you know, audit me and just yell, what have you just bought?
你买的是什么？
What are you buying?
安迪，你有权利说不吗？
Were you allowed to have any influence, Andy?
你能说不行吗？
Can you say No.
少来点这个，多来点
Less of that, more of
那个？
something?
我完全没话语权。
No control.
我对自己也没控制力。
I had no control over me either.
问题就在这儿。
This is the problem.
那感觉就像一场驱魔仪式，真的。
It was like an exorcism Yeah.
让你把恶魔放到了掌权的位置。
Where you put the demon in charge.
对。
Yeah.
你能记得自己买过的东西吗？
How how about could remember everything you bought?
不能。
No.
但这也正是现实生活的一部分。
But that's real life as well.
所以到那天你也会感到意外。
Have So you'll be surprised on the day as well.
解释一下这个。
Explain this.
我家里经常莫名其妙收到快递。
I have packages turn up to the house all the time.
我一看，这是啥啊，然后……
I'm like, what is And then
你就会说，哦天哪，吓我一跳。
you have a oh, you're like, oh my god.
是啊。
Yeah.
没错。
Yep.
这是一款能打印在任何东西上的 novelty 打印机，还配了四个墨盒。
It's a it's a novelty printer that can print on anything plus four refills.
但它根本用不了，而且我没法退，因为是家没名字的中国公司卖的。
And it doesn't work, and I can't return it because it's from a faceless Chinese company.
是啊。
Yeah.
但就像我们之前说的，感觉就像被分隔开了。
And but it's like we've said before, feel like it's severance.
我平时像个‘内人’一样生活，结果却发现，我的‘外人’拿了信用卡，给我寄来了这些包裹。
And it's like, I walk around as as an innie, then I find out what my Audi's been doing when he gets hold of the credit card and sends my innie packages.
这就是金日那天发生的事。
Well, this is how Golden Day went.
你看起来已经进入状态了。
You look like you're already in the mode.
不好意思。
Sorry.
我走神了。
I was lost.
走神了。
Lost.
一开始只是随便刷刷手机。
It starts with just free scrolling.
你已经进入状态了，我之前关注过波士顿动力这家公司，你知道的。
So you're already I'm looking at I followed Boston Dynamics, you know, the robot company.
对。
Yep.
这个机器人不卖，但光是看它我就有感觉了，未来真可能会有这样的机器人。
This robot's not for sale, but already that's got me vibe and that there could be a robot.
那可不止七十五美元。
That'd be more than $75.
不是。
No.
我愿意出两亿。
I'd to 200,000,000.
来听听规则吧。
So hear the rules.
好的。
Okay.
七万五千美元。
So $75,000.
你觉得这得花多长时间？
How long do think it'll take you?
半小时。
Half an hour.
新办一张信用卡？
A new credit card?
谢谢。
Thank you.
记住，我这么做是为了大家。
Remember, I'm doing this for the people.
对。
Yes.
这真是双赢，因为我能亲身体验一下，这么快花掉这么多钱是什么感觉。
This is a such a win win because I get to experience the thrill of just burning through that much money that fast.
但是
But
不过几个月后，这个综艺节目一播出，我们的听众就能亲身感受到真正收到这些商品的喜悦。
then however many months down the track this game show comes out, our listeners get to experience the thrill of actually receiving these goods.
你说你这是为大众做这件事，这正是我担心的一点。
When you say I'm doing this for the people, that's one thing I'm worried about.
你容易分心。
You get distracted.
对。
Mhmm.
如果你看到什么自己可能喜欢的东西
If you see something that you might like
我觉得我必须依靠自己，靠我的本事和能力来决定。
I'm like, I have to be led by me, by my talents, by my skills.
所以那时候你会给自己买吗？
So will you buy that for you at the time?
人们觉得我是为自己买的，但我知道，我代表的是大家的意愿。
People feel like I'm buying it for me, but I know that I represent the will of the people.
所以东西到了之后，肯定要放进节目里吧？
So when it arrives, it's definitely going in the game show?
当然了。
Oh, yeah.
百分之百。
100%.
你不会真说，其实我挺想要这个的吧？
You're not gonna go, actually, I did want that.
我就像那些传教士一样，到处宣扬。
I'm sort of like, you know, evangelists evangelists and stuff.
他们总说，你看，他们把手放在身上，仿佛是神通过我来做事。
They're like, you know, they sort of put their hand They're in like, he works through me.
没错。
Yes.
你明白吧？
You know?
所以这种冲动消费的驱动力通过我实现，但受益的是大家。
So the spirit of impulse buying works through me, but for the people.
这笔钱绝对不会进我自己的口袋。
And it will not will not land in my pockets.
你可以把所有交易记录和奖品池核对一下。
And you can cross reference all the transactions with the prize pool.
不错。
Cool.
对。
Yep.
好的。
Okay.
太好了。
Great.
接下来是问题。
And then Question.
如果我看到喜欢的东西，能用信用卡买吗？
If I see something I love, can I buy it with my credit card?
当然可以。
Yes.
我会每隔十分钟回来检查一次，确保你选的东西是大家真想要的。
I'll come back in every ten minutes just to do an audit check that you're on the right track and you're getting things that people would want.
嗯，
Well,
你不用操心这个。
you don't have to worry about that.
这正是
That's the main
我最担心的事。
thing I'm worried about.
他们会喜欢这些东西的。
They'll love this stuff.
好的。
Okay.
祝你好运。
Good luck.
我这边能听到吗？
Am I on?
是的。
Yeah.
你那边能听到。
You're on.
我们开始吧。
Here we go.
黄金日。
Golden Day.
哦
Oh
我的天
my god.
我第一次收到这个广告，我立刻决定买。
First ad I've been served, it's a yes from me.
哇。
Wow.
平时要一千美元，现在我拿到的价格甚至比超早鸟价还低。
It's normally a thousand dollars, and now it's I'm getting even less than the super early bird price.
成交了。
Done.
卖了。
Sold.
来吧，算法，跟我说说。
Talk to me, algorithm.
是的
Yeah.
我超喜欢这些
I love these.
我超喜欢这些
I love these.
第二笔订单马上来
Second purchase coming up.
天哪
Oh my god.
我想要全部这些
I want all of these.
有没有那种可以让我
Is there a set where I
一次性全买下的套装
can just buy it all?
加入购物车。
Add to cart.
卖光了。
Sold out.
没关系。
That's alright.
那我就买那个套装吧。
I'll get the master.
更贵的还没卖完呢。
Even more expensive, not sold out.
压缩款，我都不知道
Compressed I don't even know what
那玩意儿是干嘛用的。
that does.
还是赶紧入手吧。
Better get it.
你之前肯定从他们那儿买过。
Must have bought from these guys before.
上面有我的信息。
It's got my details.
我记不清了。
I don't remember.
你看，这个才便宜。
See, that's cheap.
我们去找专业人士吧。
We'll go to the pro.
哦，行吧。
Oh, okay.
这可不便宜。
That's not cheap.
但我
But I
我本来只是想买个配件套装。
think I was just gonna get the accessory pack.
不过包邮。
Free shipping, though.
好的，马上处理。
On it.
十分钟内搞定。
Ten minute time.
我们到现在买了几单了？
How many purchases are we through?
你看起来有点困惑。
You seem like you're confused.
没有。
No.
之前有个消费限额。
There was a security limit.
是的
Yep.
我查了一下，发现你的卡片被限制了。
I've hit it to check your account with your card.
银行已经冻结了你的卡片。
They've frozen the card.
天哪。
Oh, no.
我刚收到几条提醒通知。
I just started getting alerts.
让我先处理一下。
So let me let me just
因为我最近花得太猛了。
because I've been going wild.
我这就给银行打电话。
I'll ring the bank.
打个电话给银行，就跟他们说一声。
Call the bank and just tell them, hey.
吉姆？
Jim?
你到底想不想让我们花钱？
Do you want us to spend money or not?
你好，哈米什。
Hi, Hamish.
嘿，吉姆。
Hey, Jim.
我只是想说，我现在和哈米什在一起。
It's just I'm here with Hamish.
我们刚在这张卡上开始了一轮疯狂购物。
We've just started this buyathon on the card.
然后我在App里被提示要确认一下，我就点了是。
And then I got asked on the app to try and yes
展开剩余字幕（还有 480 条）
所以是批准了是吧？
approve So are
我们通过了吗？
we back?
只是在做安全结账流程。
Well, just just doing the secure checkout.
吉姆，每笔交易我都要逐个批准吗？
Jim, am I going to have to approve every single one that comes through?
我现在就给他打电话，直接跟他说。
I'm gonna I'm gonna call him now and just Just tell him.
然后就说一声好的。
And just yeah.
对。
Yeah.
把我们身上的束缚都解开吧。
Take the chains off us.
好的。
Okay.
别担心。
No worries.
就让我们走吧。
Just let us go.
让我去处理一下。
Let me let me run.
让我去吧，吉姆。
Let me run, Jim.
别开枪，吉姆。
Be shot, Jim.
别开枪。
Not be shot.
我准备好了。
I'm ready, baby.
谢谢你，兄弟。
Thank you, buddy.
再见。
Bye.
最近可是赚翻了。
Been breaking the banks.
好的。
Okay.
那是什么？
What was it?
这属于主题的一部分。
So this is a part of the theme.
它是什么？
What is it?
如果我告诉你，世界上第一款防水自飞相机即将面世，你会怎么做？
What would you do if I told you that the world's first waterproof self flying camera is now on its way?
我其实挺
I'm actually pretty
对无人机感兴趣的。
excited about drone.
是的。
Yeah.
它会跟着你在板子上移动，我还配了全套配件。
And it follows you along on your board, and I've got all the accessories for it.
我喜欢其中一个。
I like one
请参加我们的游戏节目。
of Please enter our game show.
那要一千五百美元。
That was 1,500 US.
好的。
Okay.
所以那个东西现在值多少钱？
So that's what's that sitting at?
比如两块零三分。
Like, $2.03.
哦，别担心。
Oh, but don't worry.
已经花了不少了。
There's been heaps.
到目前为止，你觉得自己花了多少钱？
How how much how much do you spend so far, do you think?
我一开始就买了一个大件。
Well, I bought a big ticket item early.
多少钱？
How much?
九美元。
$9 US.
差不多有二十澳元，但这是大件开销。
From close to 20 Aussie, but it's the big it's a biggie.
九美元可不是二十澳元。
$9 US is not 20 Aussie.
到底是多少？
What is it?
大概是十六左右。
It's 0, like 16.
十五。
15.
对。
Yeah.
十五。
15.
对。
Yeah.
所以你还剩60要完成？
So you got 60 to go?
对。
Yep.
明白了。
Okay.
哇哦。
Wow.
这看着不错。
This looks good.
减201美元。
$201 off.
是的。
Yeah.
我们买了。
We'll buy that.
他们现在把我当赌场里的大客户，给各种折扣。
They're saying to give me discounts now like a whale, a high roller at the casino.
他们就是想让我继续玩下去。
They're trying to keep me playing.
刚买了最棒的东西。
Just bought the best thing.
那我每种颜色都要拿一个。
Well, I'm gonna get one of each color.
天哪。
Jesus Christ.
两万美元。
$20,000.
价格真不便宜。
They're expensive.
这种事不干了。
Not doing that.
这东西多少钱？
How much is it?
三千？
3,000?
三千块？
Thousand?
买吧。
Buy it.
行。
Okay.
好吧。
Okay.
咱们先看看会发生什么吧。
Let's just see what happens
算法会怎么变化。
to the algorithm.
我现在刚买完
Now I'm fresh off
花了四千块在Instagram上。
a $4,000 in Instagram purchase.
他们会说，行吧。
They'll be like, okay.
他现在上头了。
He's on one.
他们是让这人冷静一下，
Do they go let this guy cool down,
还是觉得他上头了，赶紧推，推，推？
or do they go he's on one, pump it, pump it, pump it.
再等十分钟。
Another ten minutes.
我们到现在进展如何？
How have we gone?
卡片修好了吗？
Is the card fixed?
好了。
Yep.
你想要什么？
What do you want?
是我刚买的东西，还是我打算买的东西？
What I just bought or what I'm about to buy?
你刚买的那个。
What you just bought.
其实也不是，是你打算买的那个，说不定我能否决掉。
Actually, no, what you're about to buy because maybe I can veto it.
怎么回事？
What what's gone?
已经发生的事就让它过去吧。
What's happened has happened?
你没权否决这个。
You can't veto this.
没错。
No.
Omni S Pro。
The Omni S Pro.
Omni S Pro 是什么？
What's an Omni S Pro?
也就是那个叫 Pongbot 的东西。
Otherwise known as the Pongbot.
它有什么用？
What does it do?
它是个机器人。
It's a robot.
是给乒乓球台用的。
It's for table tennis tables.
你把它夹在桌子背面，它就会给你发球。
You clip it on the back of your table, and it serves balls to you.
你打回去，球撞到网后，它会把球
And you hit it back, it hits the net, and it feeds
再送回来。
it in.
它就是一个打乒乓球的机器人搭档。
And it's a robotic table tennis partner.
我觉得这个挺不错的。
I quite like that.
我的意思是，当你说到
I mean, when you say
我正在做市场推广。
I'm marketing around.
我本来打算
I was gonna
有个机器人到处转悠，带着除臭喷雾，专门清理各种异味，这主意我
be a robot going around with Febreze, like, taking out different pongs, which I
我对这种事真没兴趣。
was less into that shit.
我可没打算让你拦住我。
I was never gonna let you stop me.
多少钱？
How much?
一千二百美元。
$1,200.
美元？
US?
不是。
No.
划算得很。
Bargain.
不对。
No.
谈不上便宜。
Wouldn't say bargain.
卡尔，你花了多少钱？
How much has you spent, Carl?
我们这边遇到了一些技术问题。
We've look, we've had some technical issue.
有些事情一直
Some things have been
因为我当时登录了Shopify。
Well, because I was logged in to Shopify Yeah.
因为他们想把货发到卡莉名下。
Because they're trying to get it sent here to under Carly's name.
所以那是她的邮箱。
So that's her email.
是的
Yeah.
那是她的Shopify账户权限。
That's her Shopify access.
她拿到登录码之后，就说好的。
So then once she got the access code, was like, yeah.
对。
Yeah.
不错。
Cool.
用我的账号登录Shopify。
Log in as me for Shopify.
不小心用她的信用卡买了一台咖啡机。
Accidentally used her real credit card to buy a coffee machine.
所以我们只能
So we'll just have
我们有点好消息要分享。
to We've sort got some good news.
把这笔转账转到卡尔的账户。
Transfer that to Carl's.
我这边有
I've got
好消息。
some good news.
我估计是被拒了，因为我的卡里钱不够。
I'm pretty sure it's declined because I don't have enough money on my card.
还没到账呢。
Oh, hasn't come through.
好的。
Alright.
这事儿搞得一团糟。
Thing has been a kebab.
那不是
That wasn't
我干的。
me.
那不是
That
我干的。
wasn't me.
嗯，我可能会去。
Well, I mean, I might go.
我觉得你还有二十分钟可以赶。
I feel like you've got twenty minutes to go.
该动手了。
It's time to just blast.
我觉得我们都清楚，银行那边根本就是直接扣款了。
Well, I think we know that the bank is just blast.
放手去做吧。
Just go for it.
卡尔，你有信心吗？
You confident, Carl?
我有。
I am.
好的。
Alright.
祝你好运。
Good luck.
谢谢，老兄。
Thanks, mate.
就审计这一块来说，我非常有信心，这次展示的水准和质量绝对会让大家进到工作室后激动得不得了，尤其是有机会参与竞奖的时候。
From on behalf of the people as far as auditing, I'm very confident that the showcase is of a level and quality that people are gonna go nuts when they get in the studio with the opportunity to potentially participate in winning.
我想让大家知道，我刚发消息给我老婆，跟她说今天是黄金日。
I want people to know that I messaged my wife and said, this is she knows that it's Golden Day.
我当时就想，要是你在这儿，会买点啥？
I was like, imagine you're in here.
你会买些什么？
What would you be buying?
她提了不少好主意。
And she's had some great suggestions.
太好了。
Oh, great.
就是那种随心所欲的购物体验。
Like, just shackles off kind of purchases.
那各个年龄段都覆盖到了？
All demographics covered then?
对。
Yep.
对。
Yep.
好的。
Alright.
祝你们俩好运。
Good luck for you two.
不错。
Cool.
谢谢，老兄。
Thanks, mate.
银行可能会给我打电话，说这个事。
The bank will probably call me This
作为一个手头紧的人，这真的挺有意思的。
is really fun as a poor person.
老兄，这太疯狂了。
Mate, this is wild.
这实在太有趣了。
This is so much fun.
我从来没
I've never
这么挥霍过。
Just spent with such reckless abandon.
你接下来
What do you
想要什么？
want next?
我不知道。
I don't know.
你厨房里
What do you
需要添点什么吗？
want around the kitchen?
比如说，要不要张床？
Around like, do want a bed?
你想要吗
Do you wanna
这真的让人激动不已。
This is actually thrilling.
我们已经到七万四千三百三十三了。
We're at 74,333.
好的。
Okay.
好的。
Okay.
毫无疑问。
Hands down.
毫无疑问。
Hands down.
干得漂亮。
Well done.
这太棒了。
And that is sick.
我想要全部。
I want everything.
我知道。
I know.
很不错，对吧？
It's good, isn't it?
是的。
Yeah.
实在太好了。
It's so good.
天哪。
Oh, god.
简直太惊艳了。
What an absolute shopgasm.
哦，那真挺有意思的。
Oh, that was fun.
那确实挺有意思的。
That was fun.
那根本没让我好起来。
That didn't cure me at all.
事情就是这样。
There you have it.
这是即将播出的我们的游戏节目的奖金池概览。
A snapshot of the prize pool for our game show coming up.
很多人都在问，怎么才能参加这个游戏节目。
People have been asking how do we get to the game show.
哈米什一直催我，赶紧找赞助，毕竟花钱的地方太多了。
Hamish kept yelling me, come on, get a sponsor because things cost money.
我们还没
We haven't
还没找到赞助商。
got a sponsor yet.
所以一有赞助商，
So as soon as
我们就能请到安迪了。
we do, that's Andy you
把预算交给我了，基本上全是比特币。
put the budget to me, which is basically all the Bitcoin.
是的。
Yeah.
所以呢，办一场电视节目要花
So Well, it costs
不少钱来
a lot of money to
请一个电视节目团队。
hire a TV show.
是的。
Yeah.
但你不是在业内有些人脉吗？
But don't you have, like, connections in the industry?
没有。
No.
你可是有通天本领的人。
You're magic hands.
这事儿就看做不做决定了。
It's a deal or no deal.
他们说：好了，各位。
And they're like, alright, guys.
好消息是，节目搞定了。
Good news is we got a show.
这太
It's so
能在这里真是太令人兴奋了。
exciting to be here.
坏消息是，行李里什么都没有。
Bad news is nothing in the suitcases.
你有没有想过办一场秀有多难？
Do have any idea how hard it is to put on the show?
我们到底在这儿干什么？
Like, what are we doing here?
等赞助商一到位，我们就会公布演出的具体时间。
Well, as soon as sponsor comes in, then we'll announce when the show will happen.
对。
Yep.
然后
And then
其实这样也没关系，毕竟还有一点准备时间。
That's it is actually fine because there's a little bit of lead time.
回头再列一遍，还有几件大事可能会影响进展
Just listing back, there are a couple of bigger ticket items that could
那你们刚才说的那些，都没提到你们最喜欢的吗？
So we didn't hear any of your favorites in there?
没有。
No.
至少那些特别重磅的还没提到。
Well, not the big, big, big boys.
很好。
Great.
而且一整年，我们都不得不一次次让你们失望，因为不行。
Ando, all year round, we are forced to upset you because No.
不行。
No.
还不行。
Not
真的吗？
really.
这显然是个选择。
It's definitely a choice.
这确实是个选择。
It's a choice.
很大的一个
Such a big
外面有个很随意的群体，他们需要知道，我们做得对不对？
fast and loose community out there that needs to know, you know, are we doing things alright?
这种事会让你感到不满吗？
Is this the kind of thing that upsets you?
知道有人像你这样给事物分类、整理得井井有条，真让我们惊讶。
Blows our mind to know that there's someone like you labeling things, keeping them neat, keeping them organized.
实际上，很多投稿都是像我这样的人，抱怨自己的配偶、伴侣或兄弟姐妹做事太随意。
Actually, a lot of the submissions are people just like me complaining about their spouse or partner or sibling who is fast and loose.
是的。
Yep.
所以你掌握了规则。
So you got the rules
我们有守规矩的，也有违反规则的和叛逆的。
We have keepers, and you got the rule breakers and the renegades.
但每年一次，安多，每年一次，当你生日周临近，加上你不断提醒我们要重视并庆祝这个特别的日子时，我们就会改变一下节奏。
But once a year, Ando, once a year, as we enter your birthday week, as well as the many other demands that you put upon us to recognize and celebrate the birthday day as it draws closer, is we do we change the tide.
就在那一晚，我们会打破常规，好好犒劳安迪。
We we for one night only, we we mix things up, and we pleasure Andy.
我们会通过人们分享的故事和经历来让安迪开心，那些故事讲的是他们如何做事、如何整理，这些做法本该让你感到由衷的喜悦。
We pleasure Andy in ways by by people coming forward with tales and stories of ways that they do things and they organize things that should bring you a burst of joy.
对。
Yes.
生日快乐，老兄。
Happy birthday, mate.
咱们开始吧。
Let's do it.
我们一起走过这么多风风雨雨，有顺境也有波折。
We've come a long long way together through the fast times and the loose.
我得好好为你庆祝一下，安迪。
I've got to celebrate you, Andy.
我得像该做的那样让你开心。
I have to please you like I should.
求你了，安迪。
Please, Andy.
这份用心真的很让人感动。
The effort is pleasing.
我们一开始有点不太顺。
The time the time we're off to a bad
开始取悦吧。
start Pleasing.
进来的时候，确实如此。
Of coming in Yep.
当
When the
副歌响起时，就没那么令人满意了。
chorus hits is not as pleasing.
对。
Yeah.
杰克，我得提醒自己去修一下这个。
I must, Jack, remind me to fix that
搞定。
up.
你看到了。
You watched.
是的。
Yeah.
我们会试试，不过
We'll try, but
我觉得每年我都得跟你强调这一点。
I feel like every year, I get point here at you.
把节奏调整一下。
Bend the beat.
太早了。
So early.
随时都该来了。
It should be going anytime now.
节奏来了。
There's the beat.
好的。
Okay.
他对这首歌不满意，但咱们能别让低音这么沉吗？
Well, he's not pleased by the song, but can we please him off this low bass?
凯拉。
Kayla.
凯拉，你好啊。
Kayla, ahoy to you.
谢谢你过来，凯拉。
Thank you for stepping Hey, Kayla.
安迪，生日快乐。
Happy birthday, Andy.
他确实如此。
That actually He does.
他确实如此。
He does.
凯拉，你给我们带来了什么？
What have you got for us, Kayla?
这么说吧，我从二手平台买了一辆自行车。
So to paint a picture, I bought a bike off marketplace.
那是下午，我决定骑车出去转转。
It was afternoon, and I decided to go for a bike ride.
有件事可能会让Andy不高兴，我先道个歉，因为本意是想让你开心——我的耳机没电了。
One thing that will probably will upset Andy, so I do apologize because this is meant to be pleasing you, is my headphones were dead.
我想着，得听一下《哈米什与安迪》播客，我每次骑车都听这个。
And I thought, well, I need to listen to the Hamish Andy podcast as I do when I go on my bike ride.
这事儿挺重要的。
That plays as important.
耳机真没电了。
They were dead.
结果我就只好把音频外放，骑车的时候直接用手机放。
So I ended up just playing it out loud on my phone as I was riding.
我不确定这事儿是让你高兴还是烦。
So I don't know if that's something that pleases you or upsets you.
我倒不介意。
Not bothered.
公正的。
Impartial.
介意吗？
Bothered?
好吧。
Okay.
室温。
Room temperature.
Anyway，我们正骑着车，听着播客，当时播到的是‘让Andy生气’这一段，我特别喜欢的一集。
Anyways, so what we're doing is we're drive we're riding our bike, listening to the podcast, and it was the Upset Andy segment, one of my faves.
然后我们就继续往前骑。
And then we were riding along.
我看见前面有个人带着他的狗。
I saw a man and his dog in front of me.
天哪。
Oh, no.
我得按一下车铃，提醒他我过来了。
I need to ding my bell to let him know that I'm coming along.
我低头看了看我的新自行车，发现根本没有车铃。
I looked down at my new bike, and I don't have a bell.
当时我一下子慌了，幸好那段播客快结束了，我猜杰克正好按了车铃来结束那段内容。
So panic mode sort of sets in, But luckily, the segment was finishing up, and I think Jack dinged the bell to end the segment.
那个人听到了。
The man heard
他赶紧让到一边，我就骑过去了。
the bell and moved out the way, and off I rode.
这车铃按得真是时候。
Perfect bell timer.
太完美了。
Very pleasing.
这些变化真不错。
These changes.
说实话，那一刻所有烦恼都一下子消失了。
Honestly, all my issues went just vanished in that moment.
那种感觉真的特别好。
It was such a nice feeling.
在我们这种随性自由的世界里，其实根本不用太操心。
As we say in the fast and loose world, you really don't need to worry about much.
事情自然会解决的。
It will work.
没错。
Exactly.
确实如此。
That is true.
谢谢你，凯拉。
Thank you, Kayla.
凯拉·阿什女士。
Miss Kayla Ash.
Ash，你好啊。
Ash, ahoy to you.
嗨，Ash。
Hoy, Ash.
嗨，小伙子们。
Ahoy, boys.
安迪，生日快乐。
Happy birthday, Andy.
干得漂亮，老兄。
Good on you, mate.
欢迎。
Welcome.
求你了，真的求你了。
And but please me, please.
好的。
Yes.
所以，假期结束后，我冰箱里还剩了几盒巧克力。
So, basically, after the the holiday season, I had a few boxes of chocolate in the fridge
对。
Mhmm.
就是那些节日送的玫瑰巧克力。
Namely the celebrations and the roses chocolate.
对。
Mhmm.
我们家冰箱本来就小，这些巧克力还占地方，而且盒子都打开了。
And we've got a pretty small fridge, so it was taking up a bit of room, and they were open as well.
盒盖上面那个小翻盖特别烦人，再加上放冰箱门里也不好看。我正好有个空架子，就干脆把巧克力全倒进去了。
So they had that annoying flap on the top and, you know, it was ugly as anyway, in the fridge in the in the door, I had a spare shelf, and so I decided to dump the chocolates into there.
后来我才意识到，没了原包装，我都分不清哪些是玫瑰巧克力了。
And then I realized that I wouldn't be able to tell what the roses chocolates were without the box.
当然。
Of course.
所以我把盒子里附带的巧克力说明卡剪了下来，塞到了架子后面。
So so I've cut out the legend, the little chocolate legend that comes in the box, and then I've slid it into the back of the shelf.
效果好得出奇。
And it worked amazing.
我特别喜欢这个办法。
I loved it so much.
让我特别满意。
It pleased me a lot.
是的。
Yeah.
当安迪看到我这么放的时候，我明显看出他放松了下来。
It pleases When when Andy saw where that was going, I saw him visibly relax.
对。
Yeah.
他的肩膀都垂下来了。
His shoulders dropped.
他
He
就这么走了，是的。
went, yes.
对。
Yes.
着火了。
Fire.
把电网拉起来了。
The grid up.
我男朋友走过时说：‘哦，我得改口叫你安迪·李了。’
My boyfriend walked past, and he goes, oh, I'll have to start calling you Andy Lee.
这是你能收到的最高赞美了
Which is the greatest compliment you can give
了。
someone.
我同意。
I I agree.
对。
Yeah.
不对。
No.
一切都让人兴奋不已。
It's everything euphoric.
是的。
Yeah.
谢谢。
Thank you.
Andy Lee。
Andy Lee.
Sabrina，你好。
Sabrina, ahoy to you.
嘿，各位。
Ahoy, boys.
安迪，生日快乐。
Happy birthday, Andy.
你也好。
Ahoy to you.
还有你，萨布丽娜，你有什么能让安迪开心的吗？
And gusto to you, Sabrina, do you have something to please Andy?
是的。
Yeah.
看好了。
Look.
我平时做事比较随性，但今天我觉得可以给安迪一份特别的生日惊喜。
I'm generally a more fast and loose person, but I think today I can give Andy some special birthday pleasure.
真棒。
Lovely.
我正在做晚饭，照例冲着房间那头喊 Siri 帮我设个计时器。
So I was cooking dinner and doing my usual thing where I just yell across the room to Siri to set timers.
所以。
So
我先设了个三十分钟的计时，后来又让 Siri 设了个十七分钟的，给别的事用。
I'd put a timer on for thirty minutes and then later I asked Siri to set another timer for seventeen minutes for something else.
整个过程我都没碰手机，也没看一眼。
I didn't touch or look at my phone when I was doing this.
等我最后一看，两个计时器都准准地在倒数。
And then when I finally looked, the timers were perfectly fixed.
秒数同步下降，分毫不差。
The seconds were ticking down Love exact same time.
同步的。
Same time.
不过，就是同步的。
Anyway, but the same time.
太棒了。
That's awesome.
所以你今年13岁？
So you're 13
发个截图过来。
send in a screenshot.
我见过截图了。
I've seen it.
就是说，九分四十三秒，两个计时器完全同步。
So it's like, yeah, nine minutes and forty three seconds then both on the same time.
我太喜欢了。
I love it.
对。
Yeah.
所以，你设完第一个计时器正好十三分钟后，又设了第二个。
So exactly thirteen minutes after you set the first timer, you set the second one.
是的
Yep.
是的
Yep.
是的
Yep.
我太喜欢了
I love it.
真希望我当时在场
So I wish I was there.
第二次就完成了
Finished the next second time.
你本不会
You wouldn't have
做任何你
done any you
你根本不会下厨。
wouldn't have done any cooking.
不会。
No.
你要是去了，我在这儿能干嘛？
You would have gone, what do I do here?
我要不要录个屏？
Do I screen record this?
我要不要
Do I
用二号设备拍？
take it on two?
我还有八分钟，得让大家看看到底发生了什么。
I've got eight minutes left to show everyone what's going on.
我做了。
I did.
我确实录了屏，然后发给了所有可能感兴趣的人。
I did screen record it, and I sent it to anyone that would be interested.
嗯，
Well
现在我把这个分享给你们。
And now I'm sharing it with you guys.
谢谢。
Thank you.
我们大家都挺忙的。
And we are all busy.
萨布丽娜，那个半小时的计时器是干嘛用的？
Sabrina, what was the first half an hour timer for?
我觉得当时烤箱里有东西。
I think something was in the oven.
对。
Mhmm.
好的。
Okay.
然后呢
And then
后来是炉子上别的东西。
it was something else that was on the stove.
你之后应该要处理那个。
You were supposed to be a after that.
对。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
我想说的是，这真是个时间抓得紧、节奏快的人。
I interested to say this is a fellow fast and looser.
我有时候会设个闹钟，并不是因为二十分钟后非得做什么，只是提醒自己，差不多到时间了，事情该收尾了。
Sometimes I will put a timer on, not because I have to do anything in twenty minutes, but it's just to tell me that in twenty minutes time, things should be getting close.
就是像踢足球那样给自己加点紧迫感。
Like, to put an urgency like a quarter of footy.
就是设个倒计时，制造点紧迫感。
Like, it's to put an urgency timer on it.
是为了做饭吗？
What for cooking?
当我……
When my yeah.
当我的计时器响了，主要是提醒我：喂，该行动了。
When my timer goes off, it's more just to be like, hey, you need to be like
你得去看看东西。
You You gotta check something.
得动起来。
You need to be moving.
不是为了检查什么，就是觉得该……
Not to check anything, but just like you you wanna be a
二十分钟内找个好位置。
good spot in twenty minutes.
等一下。
Hang on.
我不明白这是干嘛的。
I don't understand what this is.
所以你设个闹钟，就是为了提醒自己
So you put a timer on to tell
只是让你知道，该把蔬菜切好、米饭煮上。我随便挑个时间，这样我就有紧迫感，觉得挺刺激的。
you Just to be like, you should have veggies chopped and the rice on by I just kinda pick an arbitrary time, so then it becomes exciting for me that I'm under time pressure.
不然我根本不会做。
Otherwise, I won't do it.
我就会拖着拖着，最后啥也没干。
I'll just let it blow out.
就是为了让你别拖延。
It's just to stop you procrastinating.
你就像个起搏器。
You're like a pacemaker.
是的。
Yeah.
我在家经常这么做，因为我的手表自带一个十分钟后自动提醒的功能。
I do it all the time at home because my watch just has an automatic, like, ten minute timer on it.
对。
Yeah.
我就说，好。
I go, right.
洗澡前先把计时器设好。
Timer on before I get in the shower.
不是因为我洗澡要洗十分钟，而是当计时器响的时候，我希望自己已经完全擦干、穿上裤子、袜子和鞋子了。
Not because I'm gonna take ten minutes in the shower, but by when this goes off, you wanna be absolutely dry, pants on, socks on, shoes on.
十分钟后，我希望自己已经准备好了。
You wanna be in a good position in ten minutes.
所以更像是跟自己打个小小的赌
So more like mini contest to see yourself
每天都这样吗？
everyday?
对。
Yes.
没错。
Yes.
而且没人知道我正在参加这场较量。
And no one else knows I'm in the no one else knows I'm in the match.
太棒了。
Love it.
凯莉，向你致意。
Kelly, ahoy to you.
嗨，各位。
Ahoy, boys.
安迪，生日快乐。
Happy birthday, Andy.
不用了。
No need.
你来吧，凯尔。
On you, Kel.
你打算怎么讨好这位寿星？
What have you got to please the birthday boy?
行吧。
Alright.
这个肯定让你高兴。
This pleases you.
这跟礼物有关。
It is relating to presents.
我有个圣诞购物表格，里面列出了我要送礼物的每个人、我实际买了什么、计划花多少钱、实际花了多少钱，还有一些想法。
I have a Christmas spreadsheet, and it has a list of everyone I buy for, what I've actually bought them, what I plan to spend, what I actually spend, and some ideas.
每年我都会在表格里加一个新标签，这样就能告诉你我2007年给我爸买了什么。
And every year, I just add a tab to the spreadsheet so I can, like, tell you what I bought for my dad in 2007.
我真的很喜欢这个做法。
I really like this.
所以他特别喜欢这个。
So He loves this.
我特别喜欢，因为到了圣诞节，你完全不用发愁该买什么。
I like this a lot because, particularly, when you get to Christmas, you're not worried about what you're gonna get.
早在几个月前你就已经心里有数了。
You already know months out.
没错。
That's Yeah.
其实我几个月前也早就买好了，只是不会再重复送同样的礼物。
Well, I'm probably shopped for it months out too, but I don't have to repeat presents.
就是那种让人一拍脑袋说‘对，就是这个’的东西。
Things that you go, oh, yeah.
我会给爸爸买袜子，或者随便什么都行。
I'll buy dad socks or, you know, whatever.
我其实会提前去挑好。
I would actually go find yeah.
我觉得参考去年的花费会很有帮助。
I would find the previous year's spend helpful.
对。
Mhmm.
因为理想情况下，我总是会想，
Because ideally, I always am like,
他是那种五十块预算的人吗？
is that a I can't is that a $50 person Yeah.
或者
Or a
一百块预算的人？
$100 person?
我有时候会这么做，因为觉得这样挺好
I like to sometimes because Do it
根据表现来定
performance based.
我会看看
I'll look
然后决定
at I'll
让他
let him
按全年来算
go for the year.
就像年终奖一样
Like a yearly bonus.
我会考虑
I'll go
给我爸爸。
to my dad.
你知道吗？
You know what?
你今年表现得真棒。
You were great this year.
你参加了我很多场
You attended a lot of my
四十岁以上大师组的冰球比赛，其实你没必要来，我都不是小孩子了。
over forties masters hockey matches, and you didn't have to because I'm not a child anymore.
是的。
Yep.
我可能会送你一份礼物。
I might uppies uppies present.
你有一张300美元的晚餐代金券。
You have a $300 dinner voucher.
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