本集简介
双语字幕
仅展示文本字幕，不包含中文音频；想边听边看，请使用 Bayt 播客 App。
这是Headgum播客。
This is a Headgum Podcast.
先对比Allstate的报价，可能在汽车保险上省下数百美元。
Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance.
这很聪明。
That's smart.
在为本垒打欢呼前，不先确认你朋友的孩子支持哪支棒球队，可能会有点尴尬。
Not checking what baseball team your friend's kid is on before cheering for a home run, it can get a little awkward.
我刚刚还为他们输掉比赛欢呼了。
I just cheered for them losing their game.
是的。
Yeah.
先确认一下很聪明。
Checking first is smart.
所以，先去Allstate获取报价，可能帮你省下数百美元。
So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds.
有Allstate，您安心无忧。
You're in good hands with Allstate.
潜在节省金额根据条款、条件和可用性而有所不同。
Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability.
Allstate是北美保险公司及其关联公司，总部位于伊利诺伊州诺斯布鲁克。
All state North American insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.
挺不错的一集。
Pretty little episode.
解释一下。
Explain yourself.
这这，欢迎。
This is this is, welcome.
这个节目是怎么开始的？
How does this show start?
你请开始吧。
You to go ahead.
哦，欢迎来到《英俊的锅》这一集精彩的小剧集。
Oh, welcome to a pretty little episode of the handsome pot.
你喜欢吗，提格？
I did you like that, Tig?
我正抱着谁
I'm holding Who
你是谁？
are you?
哦。
Oh.
哇。
Wow.
不。
No.
不。
No.
我是说，你还没宣布主持人是谁呢。
I'm saying like who are you haven't announced the host.
哦，我是梅。
Oh, I'm Mae.
是的。
Yeah.
天哪。
Oh my god.
我这是在？
I'm by?
提格·诺塔罗。
Tig Notaro.
那这位小朋友是谁呢？
Now who is this other little friend?
嗯，
Well,
我还不确定。
I'm not sure yet.
我还在了解他。
I'm still getting to know him.
但在巡演期间，我确实说了，天啊。
But on tour, I I did Oh my god.
我在巡演时说过我喜欢小饰品之类的东西，现在我却陷入了像咕噜一样的境地。
I've said on tour that I love like trinkets and stuff, and now I've created this situation where I'm like Gollum.
人们给我带来了这些很棒的东西。
Like, people are bringing me these amazing things.
所以有个人，等等。
So someone Wait.
这太棒了。
So this is amazing.
是的。
Yes.
我会说去YouTube看，但我想我这么说可能让别人觉得烦了。
I would say go to YouTube, but I guess am annoying people by saying that.
但好吧。
But fine.
你会错过这个 amazing 的东西
You're gonna miss out on this amazing what
是什么？
is it?
是负鼠。
It's possum.
我手里拿着一个手工制作的负鼠玩偶
It's, so I'm holding a handmade possum creature
嗯。
Mhmm.
它太有个性了。
That is so characterful.
它看起来有点压力山大的样子，是的。
Like, it just looks kind of stressed out, and Yes.
我太喜欢了。
I love it.
但它真的很可爱。
But It's very cute.
我现在有个问题，每次演出都会收到这些超棒的礼物。
I have a kind of a problem now that at every show, I'm getting these amazing gifts.
是的，没错。
And, yeah.
我不知道该往哪儿放，或者该怎么办。
Don't I know where to keep them all or what to do.
你真的需要保留所有这些东西吗？
And do you need to keep them all?
嗯，很多礼物都挺有魔力的，比如水晶和咒语，我不敢随便扔掉，怕被诅咒。
Well, I a lot of them are kind of magical, like crystals and spells, and I don't wanna be cursed if I throw them out.
所以，不，我会留着它们。
So, no, I'm keeping them.
我得找个像
I'm gonna have to have like a
不错的盒子。
good case.
这和你简直完全不同，梅。
Could not be more different, Mae.
是的。
Yeah.
你就像
You're like
我不知道该把别人送我的那些小负鼠毛绒玩具放哪儿。
I wouldn't I'm like, where do I put all my little stuffed possums people are giving me?
这些举动真的很贴心。
It's very nice, these gestures.
这太符合你的口味了。
And it's so up your alley.
太好笑了。
It's hilarious.
这些物品的选择真是太绝了。
It's crazy how well chosen these things are.
这是一本加拿大冷知识的书，有人送给我的，她说：‘嘿，花生酱婊子。’
This is a book of Canadian trivia that someone gave me, and did she goes, hey, peanut butter bitch.
我说：‘嘿，姑娘。’
I go, hey, girl.
她接着说：‘你肯定不敢相信，但花生酱是加拿大人发明的。’
She goes and she goes, you're not gonna believe this, but peanut butter was invented in Canada.
我当时就想：‘我简直在天堂。’
I was like, I'm in heaven.
哇。
Wow.
在18XX年左右，我们发明了花生酱。
In, like, eighteen something, we invented peanut butter.
人类花了那么久才学会把花生磨碎吗？
It took us that long as humans to grind peanuts?
是的。
Yeah.
这看起来很奇怪，因为我们早就开始磨玉米了。
That that seems weird because we were grinding corn.
我们也在磨小麦。
We were grinding wheat.
为什么没人想到把坚果加进去呢？
Why didn't someone say put a nut in there?
你知道的吧？
You know?
哇。
Wow.
昨天，这位女士说，拍一张照片，假装我在Tig的见面会上，一张假装我在Fortune的见面会上，还有一张假装我在你的见面会上。
Yesterday, this woman said, let's take a photo as if I'm at Tig's meet and greet, one as if I'm at Fortune's meet and greet, and one as if I'm at your fort meet and greet.
那张照片是我们并肩站着，没有接触，只是礼貌地微笑着。
The photo was us standing side by side just sort of not touching but smiling politely.
Fortune那张照片里，她一边指着对方一边说：嘿。
The Fortune one was being like, hey, pointing at each other.
而到我这张照片时，她就像考拉一样紧紧抱住我。
And then the me one, she just, like, wraps onto me like a koala.
我当时想：好吧。
I was like, okay.
我想，这大概就是我的名声了。
I guess I guess this is my reputation.
所以你觉得这是因为我觉得这对我也适用。
So is that do you feel like that's because I feel like that is true with me.
我会礼貌地站在某人旁边。
I would stand politely next to somebody.
是的。
Yeah.
但你觉得一个完整的拥抱对你来说最自然。
And but you feel like a full embrace makes most sense for you.
这就是我树立的先例。
That's the precedent I've set.
而且
And
你就顺着这样做了。
You're going with it.
我就顺着这样做了。
I'm going with it.
是的。
Yeah.
我有点儿，我喜欢拥抱。
I'm a little I I like a hug.
好的。
Okay.
好吧，你和我还有另一个不同之处。
Well, here's here's how you and I are also different.
行李箱放在床上。
The suitcase on the bed.
天哪。
Oh my god.
我知道。
I know.
我知道。
I know.
而且你根本没意识到你在录音，这都没引起你的注意。
And the fact that it didn't even stick out to you to think like, I'm recording.
我要把我的行李箱从床上拿下来。
I'm gonna take my suitcase off of my bed.
但这就是我们相似的地方，小牛仔。
But here's where we're alike, little cowboy.
求你了。
Please.
绿色的行李箱和一个绿色的行李箱。
Green suitcase and a green suitcase.
是的。
Yes.
百分之百。
A 100%.
总是绿色的行李箱。
Always green suitcase.
对。
Yeah.
深森林绿。
Dark forest green.
是的。
Yes.
嗯，我今天晚上要搬出巴士，住进酒店，然后回洛杉矶待一周。
Well, I'm moving out of the bus today for tonight, I'm in a hotel, then I'm back in LA for a week.
但我有些东西会留在巴士里。
But I'm leaving some stuff in the bus.
好的。
Okay.
比如这些小玩意儿。
Like all these trinkets.
所有那些小负鼠和
All the little possums and
东西。
stuff.
是的。
Yeah.
我推迟了，我的意思是，我有太多负鼠了。
I'm postponing the I mean, I have so many possums.
我有一些小牛仔。
I have I have little cowboys.
我有一些
I have little
浣熊。
raccoons.
当然，你有。
Of course, you do.
是的。
Yeah.
天啊，你拥有了多么了不起的追随者群体。
Mean, what an incredible following you've created.
你已经培养起来了。
You've developed.
我有同感。
I'm feeling that.
我感到非常感恩。
I'm feeling so grateful.
所以，你得给我讲讲这背后的情况。
So someone you need to give me the context on this.
有人说了，别告诉提格。
Someone went, don't tell Tig.
然后，因为……
And then Well, because
我在节目里聊过我的Buc ee's，那是个加油站。
I talked on the show about my I I just Buc ee's, it's a gas station.
好的。
Okay.
那里洗手间非常干净，还有很多购物选择。
It has really clean bathrooms and a lot of shopping you can do.
嗯嗯。
Uh-huh.
人们都非常喜欢这个地方。
And people are so into this place.
我觉得这很棒，但他们买周边商品。
I think it's wonderful, but they buy the merchandise.
他们买T恤、毛绒玩具。
They get the t shirts, the stuffed animals.
我就想，好吧。
The and I'm just like, okay.
谁在乎呢？
Who cares?
走吧。
Like, go.
上个厕所，买包薯片，加满油，然后走人。
Empty your bladder, buy a bag of chips, fill up your car, and head out.
是的。
Yeah.
你不必崇拜右翼品牌。
You don't have to worship the brand of Right.
对。
Right.
对。
Right.
我只是不喜欢品牌崇拜。
I just I don't like I don't like brand worship.
我举了个例子，我想是在这个节目里。
And I used the example I think it was on this show.
是的。
Yeah.
我举了人们特别追捧某些甜甜圈店和某些酸奶、冷冻酸奶的例子。
I used the example of, like, when people were really into, like, certain donut shops and, like, certain yogurt frozen yogurt.
我都想不起来那些地方的名字了。
I can't even remember the name of the places.
是的。
Yeah.
但那些地方突然成了买这类食物的潮流之地，人们甚至穿着印有‘Yeah’的衣服。
But it it became the the cool place to get these types of food, and people are wearing the Yeah.
我只是觉得，是的。
And I'm just like, yeah.
我不知道。
I I don't know.
我只是觉得，是的。
I'm just, yeah.
我喜欢我们为这些人建立的奇怪网络——他们送我礼物，专门就是为了惹你生气。
I love the weird network we've created for the people are giving people are giving me gifts specifically to annoy you.
他们说：‘哦，你等着看Tig看到这个时的反应吧。’
They're saying, oh, you're all wait till Tig sees this.
这真的很有趣。
It's really funny.
这个
The
而且为了明确一下，我完全理解巴基的。
And and just to be clear, I fully appreciate Bucky's.
巴基的。
Bucky's.
是的。
Yeah.
我不明白为什么会对一个加油站这么着迷。
I don't get the obsession over a gas station.
对。
Yeah.
还有那些周边商品。
And the merch specifically.
你可真会挑拨我。
Way to rile me up.
我知道。
I know.
我感觉被激怒了。
I feel rile.
你今天早上怎么样？
How are you this morning?
我很好。
I'm doing, well.
我真的很高兴还能在家。
I'm I'm just thrilled to be home still.
我最近一直在多伦多和巡演之间来回奔波，还在纽约和洛杉矶做宣传。
I just it it's I I've I've just been back and forth between Toronto and on tour and doing press in New York and LA.
是的。
And Yeah.
我只是觉得，当到了该送马克斯和芬恩去上学或周末去参加他们训练的时候，或者我们一家人坐在一起的时刻，那种在家的温馨感真的特别珍贵。
I just it is truly those little moments of loving to be home when it's time to go drop Max and Finn off or go to their practice on the weekend or we sit day.
我跟你说过，我们全家会玩一个游戏。
I told you we do a game as a family.
这几乎是唯一一个我会参与的游戏。
This is about the only game I'll do.
但我们都会坐在客厅里，每人说一个词。
But, we sit around in the living room and we each say a word.
是的。
Yeah.
我跟你说过这个。
I've told you that.
没有。
No.
提醒我一下。
Remind me.
好吧，会有人先开始，然后说比如‘星期三’。
Well, somebody will start off and they'll and they'll say like Wednesday.
然后下一个人会说‘是’。
And then the next person will be like is.
接着下一个人说出当天的日期。
And then the next person says the day that.
然后你就接着编故事，一个词一个词地加下去。
And then you just create a story and you add a word.
另外一部分是，马克斯和芬恩特别喜欢试着记住整个句子是什么。
And then and then the other part of it is like Max and Finn love trying to remember what the whole sentence was.
所以你会试着把整句话复述出来。
And so you try and repeat it back.
我们得在播客里也玩这个。
We gotta do that on the pod.
这正是我喜欢的游戏。
That's my kinda game.
我知道。
I know.
所以，但它说的是那些小小的时刻，比如和Kitty City待在家里，还有是的。
So, but it says those little moments of just and also being home with Kitty City and Yeah.
斯蒂芬妮和，总之。
Stephanie and, anyway.
还有就是保持你的日常，吃你想吃的东西，睡在你的床上。
And just having your routine, eating the things you wanna eat, sleeping in your bed.
散个步。
Taking a walk.
我每周还是去教练那里几次，哦，是吗？
I'm I'm still going to a trainer a couple of days a week and Oh, are?
是的。
Yeah.
我从夏天就开始了。
I have been since the the summer.
当然不是要练成像梅·马丁那样的身材，但确实在做
Certainly not creating a body like Mae Martin, but but Are doing
不过你在做力量训练吗？
are you doing weights, though?
你知道的，我在做55岁年龄段的力量训练，你
I you know, I'm doing I'm doing 55 year old weight training, you
知道，是的。
know Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
我在，嗯，
Where I'm yeah.
我知道，我不在举重。
I'm, you know, I'm not pumping iron.
你知道的？
You know?
就是那种塑形、增强力量。
It's It's that, like, toning, strengthening.
对骨骼有好处。
It's good for your bones.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
我在拉伸。
I'm stretching.
我在进行力量训练。
I'm I'm, weight training.
我还在坚持每天散步。
I'm still doing my daily walk.
但就是，嗯，就是这样。
And, but it just yeah.
保持规律的感觉真好。
It feels nice to be in a routine.
我和斯蒂芬妮早上会坐在一起聊天，然后一起散步。
And Stephanie and I in the morning sit and chat and we take a walk together.
这样开始我的一天真的很舒服。
And it's it's just nice to start my day that way.
这真好。
That's nice.
是的。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
我可以等。
I can wait.
我回来十天，然后就要离开六周甚至更久。
I get back for ten days and then I'm pretty much gone for six weeks or or more.
得想办法保持理智。
Gonna be gotta find ways to stay sane.
嗯。
Uh-huh.
是的。
Yeah.
我觉得运动真的很有帮助。
A little I think exercise really is is what does it.
比如，我要买个瑜伽垫和几副哑铃，然后就。
Like, I'm gonna get a yoga mat and a couple weights and just like
试试坐公交？
Try the bus?
对。
Yeah.
就在每场演出前试着做点什么吧。
Just try and do something before every show or something.
你去那些乐队吗？
Do you do those bands?
是的。
Yeah.
我超爱那些乐队。
I love those bands.
对。
Yeah.
那些看起来真是不错的旅行锻炼方式。
Those seem like a really nice travel Yeah.
锻炼选择。
Workout option.
是的。
Yeah.
我们来问一个问题吧？
Shall we get to a question?
哦，对。
Oh, right.
这正是我们这么做原因。
That's why we're doing this.
这可不是为了炫耀你的绿色饮品和负鼠。
It's not to just show off your, green and your drink and your possums.
先检查Allstate，可能在汽车保险上省下数百美元。
Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance.
这很聪明。
That's smart.
你都没检查是否买了披萨面团准备披萨之夜？
Not checking that you bought pizza dough for pizza night?
哦，天哪。
Oh, no.
现在我们得等上九十分钟，才能等到配送订单送达。
Now we're stuck waiting ninety minutes for the delivery order to arrive.
是的。
Yeah.
先进行咨询是明智的。
Check-in first is smart.
所以先查询Allstate的报价，可能帮你节省数百美元。
So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds.
选择Allstate，您将得到可靠的保障。
You're in good hands with Allstate.
潜在节省金额因条款、条件和可用性而异。
Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability.
Allstate北美保险公司及其关联公司，位于伊利诺伊州北布鲁克。
Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.
对，我们来回答一个问题吧。
Yeah, let's get to a question.
嘿，帅哥，我是来自多伦多的Rae，我想知道你曾经说过最愚蠢、最没必要的谎言是什么。
Hey handsome, this is Rae from Toronto and I want to know what the silliest unnecessary lie you've ever told is.
我
I
我有一个特别尴尬的。
have one that's really embarrassing.
一个没必要的谎言？
A lie that was unnecessary?
你是说你得去上网吗？
From Did you have to do your internet?
除了WiFi之外。
Aside from the WiFi.
但你知道吗？
But you know what?
那也是同一个时期的事。
It was in that same era.
就是那时候。
It was right around then.
我预订了在Largo的演出。
I had a show booked at Largo.
我只是打算在Largo表演一段。
I was just gonna do a set at Largo.
我当时刚到洛杉矶不久，能拿到Largo的演出机会让我特别兴奋。
And I was still newish to LA and so excited that I was even getting sets at Largo.
嗯。
Mhmm.
但每当我陷入爱河、变得着迷时，最后都会取消一些安排。
But often when I'm falling in love and becoming obsessed, I end up canceling things.
我不记得具体发生了什么，但我给Largo的Flanny发了条信息，我说：‘我得跟他说实话了。’
And I don't know what happened, but I texted Flanny at Largo and I go, I I don't I've gotta come clean about this to him.
我说：‘我做了个按摩，那个人站在我身上踩，我听到自己好像伤到背了。’
I go, I had a massage, and the person was walking on me, and I I heard I hurt my back.
我身上有个地方不舒服。
I've had like a spot.
那完全是编造的谎言。
Was a full made up lie.
我不知道我为什么这么说。
I don't know what why I said that.
等一下。
Hold on.
你当时在做按摩吗？
Were you getting a massage?
没有。
No.
好吧。
Okay.
这真是个奇怪又复杂的谎言。
So that's such a really weird elaborate lie.
我知道。
I know.
他发消息问我，要不要叫救护车？
And he texts, he goes, do I need to call an ambulance?
我说，不用。
I'm like, no.
不用。
No.
不用。
No.
我没事。
I'm alright.
不用。
No.
不用。
No.
不。
No.
我光着身子躺在床上。
I'm naked in bed.
我完全没事。
I'm completely fine.
我恋爱了。
I'm in love.
我只是在啊。
I'm just in yeah.
我不知道为什么。
I don't know why.
我需要它成为某种东西。
I it needed to be something.
天啊。
Oh, god.
是的。
Yeah.
我真的改掉了那个习惯。
I've really broken that habit.
我的意思是，我真的
I mean, I really
你是怎么改掉这个习惯的？
How did you break the habit?
我不确定，就是你知道的，那个播客帮了我。
I don't I just you know, the podcast helped.
我觉得是福尔图娜注意到，有时候我会发很长的解释，说明我为什么迟到之类的事情。
I think Fortune noticing that sometimes I was like sending these long explanations for why I was late and things like that.
我当时就想，
I was like,
是的，就像我妈妈说的，那些乱七八糟的东西。
yeah, I just As my mother would call them fugaboos.
福加布oo。
Fugaboos.
是的。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
你当时在福加布oo。
You were fugabooing.
我那时在福加布oo。
I was fugabooing.
这都源于讨好别人、不想惹麻烦，还有时间管理不好，但我认为我已经扭转了局面。
And it all comes from like people pleasing and just not wanting to be in trouble and and having bad time management, but I think I've turned the corner.
但那太疯狂了，居然把背伤归咎于一个虚构的按摩师。
But that was crazy, blaming some fictional masseuse for breaking my back in some way.
嗯。
Mhmm.
然后下周还得去见弗兰尼，参加另一场演出，他跟我说别
And then having to see Flanny, like, the next week for another show, and he's like, don't
你得跛着走吗？
you have to limp or anything?
我
I
我当时说，哦，是的。
was like, oh, yeah.
结果没什么事。
It turned out to be fine.
我的天啊。
My gosh.
哦。
Oh.
太尴尬了。
So embarrassing.
展开剩余字幕（还有 242 条）
你呢？
What about you?
一个不必要的谎言。
An unnecessary lie.
嗯，我尽量贴近事实，但我觉得自己经常捉弄别人。
Well, I really try to stick as close to the truth, but I feel like I prank people a lot.
是的。
Yeah.
那时候正好是《Wayward》上映的时候，我和托尼·科莱特出去，她说，如果我给《Wayward》里那个只和她演了几场戏的演员发条短信，会不会很有趣？
I was out with around the time that Wayward came out, I was out with Toni Collette, and she said, wouldn't it be funny if I texted this other actor in Wayward who they only they only had a couple scenes together.
他们甚至都不是那种关系，她说：‘我要给他发消息，说我想在首映礼舞台上和他合唱一首歌。’
They weren't even like and she said, I'm gonna text him and say that I wanna sing a song with him at the premiere on stage.
然后第二天就发生了。
And then and it was like the next day.
这真是个特别搞笑的恶作剧，因为他们之间并没有建立过互相捉弄的关系。
And it was just such a funny prank because it wasn't like they were had an established relationship of pranking.
于是她给他发消息，嘿，乔什。
Was so she texts him, hey, Josh.
梅想让我们一起唱这首歌。
Mae wants us to sing this song.
我有把吉他。
I've got a guitar.
我没时间排练，但我希望你知道和弦。
I don't have any time to rehearse, but I know that hopefully, you know the chords.
他吓坏了。
And he was freaking out.
他压力特别大。
He was so stressed.
她直到四个小时后才告诉他这是个玩笑。
And she didn't even tell him it was a prank until like four hours later.
她就说：开玩笑的。
She was like, just kidding.
但这真的让我笑得很开心。
But it really made me laugh.
是的。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
我多年前住过那里。
I was with, years ago.
我曾经住在威尼斯，靠近海滩，嗯。
I used to live in Venice out by the beach Uh-huh.
就在加利福尼亚。
Here in California.
还有我老朋友亨利·菲利普斯，他真是个荒唐的人。
And my old pal, Henry Phillips, who is such a ridiculous man.
他是个音乐喜剧演员，也做单口喜剧。
He's a musical comedian, and he does stand up as well.
但他会在网上发布视频。
But like, he makes videos online.
就是一个特别傻乎乎的人。
Just a silly, silly guy.
是的。
Yeah.
我们以前会搞一些叫派对小品的东西。
And we used to do things called party bits.
对。
And Yeah.
他曾经在威尼斯参加一个派对。
And he was at a party in Venice.
他给我打电话说，嘿。
And he called me and he said, hey.
我就在你家附近的一个派对上。
I'm at a party near your house.
他说：‘我一个人都不认识。’
He said, I don't know anybody here.
他跟我说：‘你得来，你得来，跟我一起搞点派对小把戏。’
He was like, you gotta come you gotta come and, do some party bits with me.
我们就会在派对上捉弄别人。
And we would just, like, prank people at parties.
哦，这个
Oh, this
太棒了。
is great.
哦，好吧。
Like, oh, okay.
我马上过去。
I'll be right over.
于是我过去找他，我们就在那儿做些愚蠢又微妙的事情，让人盯着我们看，你知道，觉得我们很怪，而我们确实很怪。
So I go over there, and we're we're just doing stupid subtle things that where people are looking at us, you know, like we're odd, which we were.
然后亨利走开后，我就一个人待着了。
And then I was by myself when Henry had wandered off.
厨房里大概有五个人在聊天。
And there were like maybe five people chatting in the kitchen.
是的。
Yeah.
而且我又不认识除了亨利·菲利普斯以外的任何人。
And again, I knew no one but Henry Phillips.
我靠在门框上，说：嘿，伙计。
And I leaned on the door frame, and I just, I said, hey, guy.
那时候是周六晚上，晚上九点半左右。
And this is a Saturday night, and it was like 09:30 at night.
我又靠在门框上，说：嘿，各位。
And I lean on the door frame, and I go, hey, guys.
我再过十分钟就要去睡觉了。
I'm gonna be going to bed in, like, ten minutes.
然后我只是敲了敲墙，就走开了。
And then I just tap the wall and walk away.
你知道的，他们都一脸困惑，心想这人是谁？
And, you know, they were all just like, who like, who was this?
是的。
Yeah.
然后我走到亨利面前，说：天哪。
And then so I go up to Henry and I said, oh my gosh.
我刚刚对厨房里那五个陌生人都说我要十分钟内去睡觉了。
I just told these five random strangers in the kitchen that I'm gonna be going to bed in like ten minutes.
他听了说：天哪。
And, and he was like, oh my god.
这太搞笑了。
That's so funny.
他说，后院里有两百多人呢。
He said, there's like 200 people in the backyard.
他说，你得去后院大喊一声。
He said, you have to go yell that to the to on the back patio.
哦，哇。
Oh, wow.
所以我就说，好吧。
So I was like, okay.
于是我走到后甲板上，说：嘿，你们看，今天是周六，早上九点半啊。
So I walk out to the back deck, and I was like and people are all, I mean, it's Saturday at 09:30.
当然，人们都在喝饮料、聊天。
Like, of course, people are having drinks and chatting.
我就说：嘿，大家。
And I was like, hey, everybody.
他们都望过来，我甚至不知道主人是不是在厨房里。
And they they look and I don't even know, like, if the owner was in the kitchen.
我肯定你在那儿。
I'm sure if you were.
或者在后院，我其实也不知道自己在哪。
Or like in the back I don't I didn't know where I was.
但我只是说：嘿，大家。
But I just say, hey, everybody.
让你们知道，我再过十分钟就要去睡觉了。
Just so you know, I'm gonna be going to bed in like ten minutes.
亨利和我回去了。
Henry and I go back in.
我们笑得快不行了。
We're dying laughing.
但我要坚持的是。
And, but here's what I stand by.
这并不意味着我拥有这房子。
That doesn't mean I own the house.
这仅仅意味着我再过十分钟就要去睡觉了。
That just means I'm going to bed in, like, ten minutes.
你知道的吧？
You know?
完全明白。
Totally.
是的。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
每个人都想这样。
Everyone tries to yeah.
太好笑了。
That's so funny.
是的。
Yeah.
我喜欢这种东西，当所以
I love that kind of stuff When so
那是啥？
was that?
那是最近的事吗？
Was that recent?
不是。
No.
那是在我住在威尼斯的时候，很久以前了。
It was a lot It was when I lived in Venice.
天哪。
Oh, man.
那大概是二十年前了。
It was probably like twenty years ago.
我真的觉得我们应该在颁奖典礼这样的大型高 stakes 场合开始搞派对环节。
I really think that I really think that we should start party bits at like awards shows, big high stakes environments.
那是
That's
我完全支持。
I'd be all for it.
提醒人们他们有自由意志，可以随时做任何荒唐的事
Remind people that they have free will and they can do any silly thing at any
时候。
time.
当然。
Absolutely.
我们要听听雷的回答吗？
Should we hear Ray's answer?
是的。
Yeah.
哦，是的。
Oh, yeah.
来听听吧，雷。
Let's hear it, Ray.
我曾经说服我的伴侣，'gaslighting'这个词原本是'gas lamping'，因为它源自那些老旧的煤气路灯，而这些路灯以不可靠著称。
I once convinced my partner that the term gaslighting was originally gas lamping because it was derived from those old gas street lamps, which were notoriously unreliable.
等我彻底让他信服后，我又告诉他，我完全是编的。
And once I had him thoroughly convinced, I then told him I'd made it all up.
他只是盯着我，说：'你早有预谋？'
And he just stared at me and said, you planned this?
为什么？
Why?
说实话，我不确定为什么。
And you know, I'm not sure why.
我想这大概能让我保持年轻吧。
I think it just keeps me young.
总之，我非常支持。
Anyway, I'm a big fan.
我迫不及待想听听你们的答案。
I can't wait to hear your answers.
太好笑了。
That's so funny.
哦，她搞了个清单，搞了个清单
Oh, she got list got got list
她骗了他。
She got list him.
她骗了他。
She got list him.
骗了他。
Gaslit him.
是的。
Yes.
我们还有时间再做一个吗？
Do we have time for one more?
我们可以快速做一个，对吧？
We could do a quick one, right?
是的。
Yeah.
嗨，帅哥们。
Hi, handsomes.
我是来自芝加哥的凯蒂，我有个问题想请教你们。
This is Katie from Chicago, and I have an advice question for you.
我想问问你们有没有什么建议，可以应对错失恐惧症（FOMO）。
I was wondering if you have any advice about how to deal with FOMO or fear of missing out.
另外，作为附加问题，你们遇到过的最严重的错失恐惧症案例是什么？
And as a bonus question, what is the worst case of FOMO that you've ever had?
好问题。
Great question.
是吗？
Is it?
我觉得我没有错失恐惧症。
I don't feel like I have FOMO.
真的吗？
Really?
我想当我离开家的时候，我会有的。
I guess I do when I'm away from home.
比如，我觉得我最近旅行太多了，以至于我只想：唉，我想回去。
Like, I think I've just been traveling so much that I'm like, ugh, I want I wanna be there.
我想听听大家说的所有有趣的事情，是的。
I wanna hear all the funny things everybody's saying and, yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
当你离开家时，你其实正处于一种错失恐惧的状态。
You're you're kinda living in a state of FOMO when you're away.
是的。
Yeah.
我想我是在想外面的世界。
I guess I was thinking of the outside world.
我实际上对外面的世界没有这种感受。
I I don't really experience that with the outside world.
我二十多岁的时候，有一次在伦敦索霍区的一栋房子里，确实有过一次。
I I the I can think of one time in my twenties when I was in, like, a Soho house in London Mhmm.
嗯。
Mhmm.
然后哈利·斯泰尔斯进来了。
And Harry Styles came in.
所以我们一群人全都激动坏了。
And so we were all freaking out in my group.
我们远远地跟着他，只是观察着他，那个家伙。
And we were kind of following him around, you know, at a at a safe distance and just observing him and guy.
可怜的家伙。
Poor guy.
但我们当时在想，我们该不该
But we were like, should we
只在那一次交谈。
talk to the only time.
我觉得他的整个人生都像野生动物一样被观察着，是的。
I feel like his entire life is being observed as a wild animal Yeah.
从
From a
他非常高大英俊。
And he was so tall and handsome.
我们都在想，谁有勇气去和他说话呢？
And we were like, who's gonna have the courage to talk to him?
然后时间越来越晚，我想着我得走了。
And then it was getting later and later, and I was like, I gotta go.
然后他可能隐约认识我们组里的某个人，但他非常封闭。
And then he kind of maybe peripherally knew someone in our group, but he was very closed off.
于是我回家了，二十分钟后，我朋友发给我一张照片，她正挽着哈里·斯泰尔斯的手臂，举着香槟杯喝酒。
So then I went home, and twenty minutes later, my friend texted me a photo of her linking arms with Harry Styles and drinking from champagne glasses.
她真的就这么去做了。
Like, she just went for it.
我一走，她就心想：管他呢。
As soon as I left, she was like, oh, fuck it.
走过去说：嗨。
Went up and was like, hi.
我是洛莉。
I'm Lolly.
很高兴认识你。
Nice to meet you.
然后他们一起喝起了香槟。
And then they ended up drinking champagne together.
我当时就想：是的。
And I was like, Yeah.
你刚错过了。
You just missed it.
是的。
Yeah.
如果我当时坚持下去的话。
If I just stuck it out.
是的。
Yeah.
凯蒂。
Katie.
让我们听听你的答案。
Let's hear your answer.
是的。
Yeah.
说说看，凯蒂。
Let's hear it, Katie.
我对第一个问题没有答案，但第二个问题的答案是，Mae即将在她们巡演时来我的城市，但我现在怀孕得很厉害，而她们来的时候正好是我的预产期。
I don't have an answer to the first question, but my answer for the second question is that Mae is coming to my city on their tour, but I'm currently super pregnant and they're gonna be here on my due date.
所以我没法来现场看你们演出，因为我可能正在生孩子。
So I can't come and see you live because I might be giving birth.
这真是我经历过的最严重的错失恐惧症了。
So that is the biggest case of FOMO that I've ever had.
我真的好想来现场看你们演出。
And I really wish I could come see you live.
非常感谢你们的演出。
Thank you so much for the show.
我是你们的超级粉丝。
I'm a huge fan.
我们很喜欢听你们的节目，也很期待听到你的回答。
We love listening and looking forward to hearing your answer.
这真是太好了。
That's so nice.
这真好。
That's so nice.
你为什么不把大巴开过来帮忙接生呢？
Why don't you drive your bus over and help deliver the baby?
真有趣，我第一反应是她应该来演出时生孩子。
That's so funny that my first thought was she should come and have the baby at the show.
不。
No.
不过不，我应该去医院。
But no, I should go to the hospital.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
你应该尖叫着把车开过来。
You should pull up screeching.
是的。
Yeah.
凯蒂在哪个房间？
Which room is Katie in?
哦，我，嗯，是的。
Oh, I I yeah.
我有来自德克萨斯和其他地方的朋友告诉我，他们买了你巡演的票，真的吗？
I've had friends from Texas and wherever tell me that they bought tickets to your tour and Really?
去你的，是的。
To go into your yeah.
哦，那真好。
Oh, that's so nice.
是的。
Yeah.
那真好。
That's so nice.
是的。
Yeah.
听起来很有趣。
It's fun to hear.
我刚在佛罗里达完成了我的第三场演出。
I'm just finishing my third show in Florida.
昨天我去了一趟迪士尼，那是个错误。
And I did go to Disney yesterday, and that was a mistake.
我每天晚上只睡四个小时左右，心想，我得偷偷去奥兰多的迪士尼，结果忘了那里会让人感觉骨头都快散架了。
I'm so I'm on, like, four hours of sleep at night, and I thought, I gotta just sneak to Orlando to Disney, and I forgot how it makes your body feel like your bones are dust, like, jangled up.
是的。
Yeah.
但那还是很棒的。
But it was pretty great.
是的。
Yeah.
我真的很喜欢奥兰多。
I I really like Orlando.
我有
I have
要说。
to say.
很多人只把奥兰多当成迪士尼，但其实还有很多可爱的小地方可以散步、吃饭，真的。
There's so many cute people think of it as only Disney, but there's so many cute little areas to, walk around and eat and Totally.
购物什么的都可以。
Shop and whatever.
这是一则关于佛罗里达州奥兰多的广告。
This is a commercial for Orlando, Florida.
是的。
Yeah.
总之，挺有趣的。
Anyway, well, was fun.
见到你，小牛仔真好。
Good to see you little cowboy.
很高兴，抱歉。
Lovely to sorry.
我，呃，
I Oh,
是的。
yeah.
你打嗝了。
You you burped.
哦，你打嗝了。
Oh, you're hiccuped.
好吧。
Okay.
我打了个嗝，却说是打嗝。
I burped and I said hiccup.
那是骗人的。
That was a lie.
我说打嗝是因为我打嗝觉得尴尬。
I said hiccuped because I was embarrassed that I burped.
大家都知道了。
Everyone knew.
是的。
Yeah.
大家都知道了。
Everyone knew.
这里有个我们5月4日的广告。
Here's a commercial for us on May 4.
我们正在做一档名为《Netflix真是个笑话》的节目，采访《狩猎妻子》的演员们。
We're doing our Netflix is a joke show where we are interviewing the cast of The Hunting Wives.
所以请亲自到场，同时前往 speakpipe.com/handsomepod 提交你的问题和倾诉请求。
So please come out in person and also submit your questions and advice request to speakpipe.com/handsomepod.
那你最近有什么安排，提格？
And what what have you got coming up, Tig?
嗯，我的巡演日期都在 tignotaro.com 上。
Well, I just I have my tour dates at tignotaro.com.
你知道的？
You know?
就像我之前提过几次的，因为所谓的颁奖季，有些场次不得不改期。
And as I've mentioned a few times, some have had to be rescheduled for this award season as they call it.
现在全是接连不断的采访、晚宴，还有各种我平时不会参与的活动。
Just back to back press and dinners and all kinds of stuff that I'm not normally doing.
所以去查一下场次吧，可能会有变动，你知道的。
So go check out where the dates are and they could move, know.
如果可以的话，一定要回去查看网站。
Always go back and check the website if you can.
而且，也请在Apple TV上好好看看我，我们下次再见。
And, also come see me in the good light on Apple TV and until next time.
继续吧。
Keep it.
保持帅气。
Keep it handsome.
《帅气》由我、福图娜·菲姆斯特、提格·诺塔罗和梅·马丁主持。
Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feimster, Tig Notaro and Mae Martin.
本节目由托马斯·罗勒制作、录制和剪辑。
The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Roulette.
请发送邮件至handsomepod@gmail.com，并在社交媒体上关注handsomepod。
Email us at handsomepod@gmail.com, and follow us on social media at handsomepod.
真是个精彩的播客。
What a podcast.
真是
What a
先检查Allstate可能会在汽车保险上省下数百美元，这很明智。
Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance, and that's smart.
睡觉前不检查拖鞋是否放在床边，真是令人难过。
Not checking that you put your slippers next to the bed before going to sleep, very sad times.
我真的不喜欢脚即使只有一瞬间接触到冰冷的地板。
I really don't like it when my feet have to touch the cold floor even for one instant.
是的。
Yeah.
先检查一下很明智。
Checking first is smart.
所以先查询Allstate，可能会省下数百美元。
So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds.
选择Allstate，您将得到可靠的保障。
You're in good hands with Allstate.
潜在节省金额因条款、条件和可用性而异。
Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability.
Allstate，北美保险公司及其关联公司，伊利诺伊州诺斯布鲁克。
Allstate, North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.
关于 Bayt 播客
Bayt 提供中文+原文双语音频和字幕，帮助你打破语言障碍，轻松听懂全球优质播客。