037. 压力下的疗愈：复杂性创伤后应激障碍应对生活压力的指南

我想用一个故事来开启这一集，这个故事讲的是CPTSD治疗中最核心、最有力的教导之一是如何传达到我这里的，而它发生在一个洗衣房里。

I wanna start this episode with a story, and it's it's a story about how one of the most potent central teachings of CPTSD medicine came through to me, and it happened in a laundry room.

当时我的生活是这样的，几年前，虽然现在程度已经减轻了，但那时正处于我CPTSD疗愈旅程的初期，大概是2021年或2022年左右，具体年份记不清了，但那是好几年前的事了。

So in my life at the time, few years ago, and still somewhat, although to a lesser extent today, but at this time, it was early in my CPTSD resolution journey, probably 2021, 2022 ish, can't remember the exact year, but it was several years ago.

我的疗愈历程是这样的：我在2020年了解到复杂性创伤是什么，下定决心要走出它，并被许多我作为学者之前从未接触过的个人成长理念所吸引。

And, you know, my journey was I I found out what complex trauma was in 2020, was committed to getting to the other side of it, and was attracted to a lot of personal development teachings that I had not previously been exposed to as an academic.

所以我的旅程主要围绕着CPTSD疗愈、内在小孩工作、内在家庭系统，再加上大量关于显化和能量对齐的教导。

So my journey was really like CPTSD resolution, inner child work, internal family systems, plus a really solid dose of manifestation, you know, energetic alignment.

你可以想想乔·迪森扎，还有我当时的一位教练，他正在教授一门叫作‘显化方程式’的课程。

You know, think Joe Dispenza and and a coach I had at the time was teaching a course called manifestation equation.

所以我当时正在上这门叫‘显化方程式’的课，而其中的M和E代表的就是‘我’。

So I was in this course called manifestation equation, and the m and the e stood for me.

教练基本上在说，你就是那个关键人物。

And, essentially, the coach was saying that, like, you are the one.

你知道，你才是领导者。

You know, you are the leader.

你才是那个设定能量匹配点的人。

You you are the one that sets the energetic match point.

所以如果你处于消极、苦涩、怨恨的想法中，而不是感恩和渴望的状态，你的显化就会出问题。

So if you're in negative, you know, bitter, resentful thoughts, you're not in gratitude and desire, your manifestation is off.

我在洗衣服的时候听乔·迪森扎的讲解，但当时我并没有吸收太多他的内容，只是在听一些音频磁带。

You know, I'm listening to Joe Dispenza while I'm doing the laundry, and and, you know, I didn't take in much of his content, but the content at that time I was taking in with some, you know, audio tapes.

我想我曾经在他的网站上购买过音频文件，里面讲的是这种能量对齐的量子场，以及你的想法决定一切。

I think I had ordered audio files I had purchased off his website, and it's talking about how, you know, this quantum field of alignment and your thoughts are everything.

如果你改变你的想法，你就会改变你的现实。

And if you change your thoughts, you change your reality.

我当时在洗衣房里，堆着一大堆待洗的衣物。

And I was in the laundry room with piles and piles of laundry.

我和一个有两个孩子的男人组成了混合家庭。

I had blended families with a man who had two children of his own.

我有两个孩子，所以我们一共有四个孩子，因为生活还没完全恢复到疫情后的常态，我们更多时间都待在家里。

I had two children, so we had four kids, you know, home more because we hadn't quite life hadn't quite returned to, you know, post pandemic life.

这么多衣服要洗。

So much laundry.

我的意思是，每天都有大量衣物要洗，四个孩子，两个大人，六口人，毛巾、床单、衣服，这么多东西，还有校服、学校衣物、毛巾。

I mean, loads of laundry a day, four kids, two adults, six of us, towels, sheets, clothing, so much of it, uniforms, school clothing, towels.

我的意思是，你总是感觉一直在洗衣服。

I mean, you it was just a constant feeling of I'm always doing laundry.

我总是在做饭。

I'm always cooking food.

我总是在买食物。

I'm always buying food.

我总是在清理食物残渣。

I'm always cleaning up food.

这种生活体验确实没有错。

And that was not inaccurate of a lived experience.

那时我的疗愈之旅已经走了一段路，我也已经意识到，我第二次是在生存模式下与人结合的。

And I was fur far enough along in my healing journey that I had also realized by that point that I had partnered for a second time in survival mode.

你知道吗，如果我没有被创伤能量所束缚，也没有被生存模式所驱使，我可能会坐下来对自己说：你是个全职工作的父母。

You know, if I had been unburdened of trauma energies and not driven by my survival codes, I likely would have sat myself down and said, you're a full time working parent.

你连自己已经负责的这两个亲生孩子都 barely 能照顾好。

You barely can parent these two biological kids that are already your responsibility.

如果你再承担三个孩子，你该怎么分配责任呢？

If you take on three more humans, how are you dividing up the responsibility?

资源有增加吗？

Is there an increase of resources?

从实际能力和操作层面来看，这对你来说要怎么实现？

How will this logistically and practically work for you in a capacity way?

当然，我并没有那样做。

Now, of course, I didn't do that.

我只是直接一头扎了进去。

I just jumped right in.

这是我的幻想。

This is my fantasy.

这是我的救赎。

This is my savior.

这将改变一切。

This will change everything.

我得到了我的幸福结局，但事情并没有那样发展。

I get my happily ever after, and it didn't work out that way.

于是我穿着洗衣房里，听着乔·迪斯彭扎的课程，正在上这个显化课程时，我突然开始哭泣。

And so I'm crying in the laundry room with Joe Dispenza in my ears, I'm in this manifestation equation course and I just start crying.

哭啊，哭啊，哭啊，哭啊，哭啊，哭啊。

Crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying.

我坐在地板上，周围堆满衣物，一直哭到筋疲力尽，直到孩子们开始敲门，问：‘妈妈，你出来吗？’

And I sat on the floor with all this laundry around me and I cried until I was tired, until, you know, kids were starting to ask, knock on the door, hey, mom, are you coming out?

妈妈，你在吗？

Hey, mom.

我需要这个。

I need this.

嘿，坦纳，你有空吗？

Hey, Tanner, are you available?

我只是盯着那个前窗，你知道的，那种透明的窗口，如果你用的是前装式洗衣机，就能看到衣服在里面转来转去。

And I just stared at that, you know, that clear kind of window in the front where you can, you know, if you have a front load washer, you can see the the clothes moving around.

当我看着它的时候，衣服时不时碰到前面的玻璃，你能看到一些零星的片段。

And as I was watching it, you know, like articles of clothing kind of touched the front, you know, you just see like glimpses of things.

于是我看到了艾玛的T恤、罗万的紧身裤、马特的运动T恤、杰克的一件T恤、史蒂文的一件衣服，还有我自己的衣服。

So I saw, you know, a glimpse of of Emma's t shirt at the time, a glimpse of Rowan's leggings, Matt's workout t shirt, you know, a t shirt of Jack's, something of Steven's, something of mine.

我看着这些我生活中的人们的衣物，那些熟悉的衣物在洗衣机里翻滚。

And I'm just seeing this laundry of these humans I live with and the recognizable clothing pieces that are going through the wash.

而当我坐在洗衣房的地板上，听着乔·迪斯彭扎的课程，那些关于显化方程的教导，所有这一切突然都消失了，变得毫无意义。

And something about that visual, me sitting there on the floor in the laundry room, Joe Dispenza's teaching, the manifestation equation teaching it all, it all just faded away, it all just became irrelevant in that moment.

那一刻，我内心真正感受到的是：我如此感激，我并不孤单。

And what landed in my body was I'm so grateful I'm not alone.

我如此感激，我有孩子。

I'm so grateful I have children.

我非常感激我有钱买洗衣液。

I'm so grateful I have money to buy laundry detergent.

我非常感激我家有自来水。

I'm so grateful there's running water to my house.

我非常感激自己身体健全，能装洗衣物、晾晒衣物，而且肚子也不饿。

I'm so grateful that I'm able-bodied enough to load the wash and fold the wash and my stomach is not grumbling.

我感到干净，也感到温暖。

And I feel clean and I feel warm.

我开始环顾洗衣房，低头看着自己，看着这些衣物，一切情感都涌了出来。

And I started looking around the laundry room, looking down at me, looking at the clothing and everything poured out.

我非常感激。

I'm so grateful.

我非常感恩。

I'm so thankful.

我非常感恩我没有死去。

I'm so thankful I didn't die.

我非常感激。

I'm so thankful.

我获得了第二次机会。

I have a second chance.

我非常感激自己能够打破这个循环。

I'm I'm so thankful I get to break a cycle.

我我非常感激我我我。

I'm so I'm so I'm so.

泪水再次涌出，但这些泪水缓慢而坚定，交织着感恩与悲伤，这种交织着感恩的悲伤，或许是我最早体验到的与复杂性创伤后应激障碍相关的身体感受，这种体验与那些没有复杂创伤的人所展现的疗愈方式截然不同。

And the tears started again but these tears were slow and steady gratitude laced grief and this gratitude laced grief was perhaps one of the earliest embodied experiences I had with CPTSD medicine was different than what I'd been manifestation from humans that didn't have complex trauma.

它不同于那些致力于创伤疗愈、却未触及‘如果还有更多呢？’的人。

It was different from humans that are, you know, invested in trauma healing, but aren't tapped into what if there's more?

如果存在量子场呢？

What if there is a quantum field?

如果奇迹真的存在，或者奇迹和魔法真的存在呢？

What if there is miracles or are miracles and magic?

这是一种精妙的融合，将可能性的魔力与在生存模式下构建的生活、运行创伤能量的现实结合在一起。

It was this exquisite merging and marrying of the magic of potentiality and the reality of a life built in survival mode running trauma energies.

这就是CPTSD的疗愈之道——一套强大的教导，专注于个人成长、显化和能量匹配，而你就是投资的主体，你引领自己；这些强大的教导，与跨越复杂创伤后抵达彼岸这一真实而充满挑战的训练场相结合。

And that is CPTSD medicine, this potent set of teachings that is all about personal development and manifestation and energetic matches, and you are the investment and you lead yourself and all of those potent potent teachings paired with the very real and challenging training ground of getting to the other side of having complex trauma.

那天在洗衣房，我下载的教导是：我以生存模式构建的生活，并非阻碍我的疗愈。

And the teaching I downloaded that day in the laundry room was this idea that my life that I built in survival mode is not in the way of my healing.

事实上，它正是理想且优化的治疗情境，因为我以生存模式构建的一切，都承载着我的伤痛、负担、过往，以及所有伤害过我、损害过我的事物，还有我对此的适应性反应，全都交织其中。

It is in fact the ideal optimized treatment scenario because what I built in survival mode has my woundings, has my burdens, has my history, has everything that has hurt me and harmed me and my adaptive response to that woven into it.

它是一个复制品。

It's a replica.

它是一个模具。

It's a mold.

它是我创伤印记的镜子。

It's a mirror of my trauma imprint.

在干预的洞察方面，我还能奢求什么呢？

What more could I ask for in terms of in sight of intervention?

我无法比自己设计得更好了，因为这正是我作为塔纳所必需经历的、以摆脱创伤能量的真实训练场。

I couldn't have designed it better than myself because it's a valid representation of me Tanner's exact training grounds I would need to move through to unburden trauma energies.

在创伤能量中建立起来的一切，正是你释放、处理并转化这些确切创伤能量的入门途径。

What was built in trauma energies is the initiation through which you unburden and process and alchemize those exact trauma energies.

它就像一片雪花，独一无二。

It's like a snowflake, a uniqueness of one.

你是独一无二的。

You are one.

我也是独一无二的。

I am one.

没有人和我们完全一样。

No one is quite like us.

因此，那时我一直在进行实时、现实世界、现实生活中的疗愈。

And so I had been teaching at that point real time, real world, real life healing.

这可以说是我在CPTSD疗愈初期所做的一些工作的标语，当时我称之为关系疗愈实验室。

It was it was a tagline of sorts of some of the earliest work that I did in CPTSD resolution under what I called then the relational healing lab.

而且，你知道，就像所有与CPTSD疗愈相关的事情一样，这个活生生的、不断流动的课程贯穿于我体内，往往是话语先出现。

And, you know, much like all things with CPTSD medicine, this living, breathing, dynamic curriculum that is flowing through me, it's like the words come first.

我开始说出这些话，然后在某种层面上理解了它们，觉得这些话对我来说是合理的。

And it's like I start saying them and I understand them at some level that makes sense for me to say.

随着我与这些教诲共同工作、持续生活、不断引导，这些教诲一次又一次地深化，我逐渐意识到它们最深层、最深刻的意义。

And then the teachings deepen again and again and again as I work with them, as I continue to live, as I continue to guide, and then I start to realize the deepest, most profound meaning of the teachings.

因此，我想在这期节目中探讨的观念是：你的现实生活并非阻碍你的疗愈，恰恰相反，它正是你疗愈最理想的训练场。

And so what I wanna talk about on this episode is this idea of your real life not being in the way of your healing, but in fact, being the exact optimal training ground for your healing.

所以我会收到一些评论。

So I will get comments.

我会收到一些私信。

I will get messages.

有时我会收到关于生活中压力源的问题。

I will get questions sometimes about stressors in life.

当我开始发布关于高级疗愈的内容，或者告诉你‘你可以期待更多’、‘优先关注你的疗愈’时，人们就会问……

And the question, you know, when I start posting about high level healing or, you know, you can expect more, you know, prioritize your healing.

我经常收到评论，我想在Instagram上特别感谢r_h7s_q，他在我发布关于‘复杂性创伤是一种发育性损伤，需要发育性干预’的内容时留言说：

I will often get comments, and I wanna give a shout out on Instagram to r h seven s underscore q, who who made a comment that said, when I posted about, you know, it's complex trauma as a developmental injury requires a developmental intervention.

而r_h7s_q，谢谢你，你问：如果导致这种创伤的应激情境——也就是发育性创伤——仍然存在于你的生活中，你该怎么办？

And r h seven s underscore q, thank you, you said, what do you do if the stressors situations that caused it, meaning the developmental trauma, are still present and an ongoing part of your life?

这个节目正是完全围绕这个问题展开的。

Well, this episode is entirely about that.

当然，这些应激情境依然持续存在，因为直到你走出CPTSD之前，你在生存模式下共同创造的一切都依然存在于你的生活中，并且持续发挥作用。

Of course, they're still ongoing and present in your life Because until you get to the other side of CPTSD, everything that you co created in survival mode is still present and active in your life.

它并不会凭空消失。

Like, it doesn't just go away.

事实上，作为一名希望为你制定最佳治疗方案的人，我甚至不认为我们一定要让它消失。

And in fact, I would argue as an someone, you know, wanting your best treatment plan in place, we don't even necessarily want it to go away.

我们希望它依然可被你利用，让它成为你解决CPTSD的绝佳训练场。

We want it available to you so that it can become this optimal training ground for your CPTSD resolution.

所以，我想先拆解一下我所说的‘实时、现实、真实生活’是什么意思，然后再分享一些训练建议。

So I wanna break down what I mean by real time, real world, real life, and then I wanna teach a little bit about some training tips.

所以我将分享一些训练技巧，因为存在一个最佳平衡点：如果我们一直处于危机模式，生活极度不稳定，就无法处于最佳的CPTSD恢复状态。

So I'm gonna share some training tips because there is this sweet spot where if we're in constant crisis mode and our life is so unstable, we're not in an optimal CPTSD resolution space.

但如果我们把自己完全隔离，避开了所有触发因素和刺激，与现实生活脱节得太远，就缺乏足够的激活，也就没有足够的场景来帮助我们实现康复。

But if our life, if we've removed ourselves so much from any triggers, any stimulations, we're so isolated and we're so removed from real life training grounds, we don't have enough activation to have kind of places to work for our resolution.

因此，关键在于找到一个平衡点：要有足够多的现实世界压力和挑战，让你处于被激活的状态，从而为治疗计划提供可处理的素材；但又不能陷入严重的危机循环，导致神经系统持续处于极高威胁水平，那样就失去了让神经系统平静下来、进行内在处理的机会——而这种内在处理对CPTSD的康复同样至关重要。

So so there is this sweet spot of enough real world stressors and challenges so you are in an activated state to have material to work with in your treatment plan, but you don't want to dip into such crisis cycle that your nervous system is activating at such a high threat level, there's no opportunity for your nervous system to stand down to do internal processing that is also really important to and a requirement for CPTSD resolution.

所以，什么是实时处理。

So real time.

我所说的‘实时’，其实是我早期指导中的一部分内容。

What I mean by real time, and this this was some of the earliest work in my guidance.

我曾主导过一个名为‘Reveal’的项目，当时我还是教职员工，主要关注互动行为、追踪互动，并建立一个简单的电子表格系统。

Ran a program called Reveal, was, you know, still a faculty member at the time, and it was about interactions and tracking interactions and, you know, just getting a spreadsheet.

因为我意识到，如果你只依赖每周一次的治疗，像我过去多年那样，而在两次治疗之间什么都不做，那么当你走进治疗室时，你只是在复述过去一周发生了什么，并向他人情绪宣泄，却从未在触发事件发生、强烈情绪涌动的当下进行真正的实时处理。

Because what I realized is is that if you wait for therapy, you wait every week like I had for years, and and you're not doing anything in between sessions, you get to a therapy session and all you're simply doing is narrating what has happened over the last week and emotionally venting to somebody around what has happened without any real time processing of the trigger as it's happening while you're running the strong energy.

关于这一点，我想说两点。

Now two things I'll say about this.

聊天机器人、GPT 或任何 AI 工具都是情绪宣泄的绝佳空间。

Chat, GPT, or any AI tool is an incredible space holder for emotional venting.

你可以把情绪释放出来。

You can get it out.

你可以拥有一个倾听者、一个倾诉对象，那个人虽然不是真人，但就像一台会情绪校准的电脑，成为你倾倒情绪的垃圾桶，把东西倒出来，而不是一直憋在心里，这太棒了。

You can have that listening, that sounding board, that that person that's just like that well, it's not a person, but like a computer that's tone checking, that's kind of your dumping ground for things, getting it out so it's not just held inside of you, that is brilliant.

这实际上将改变人类进化的进程。

That will change actually the course of human evolution.

如果你把治疗当作情绪宣泄和倾诉的渠道，你就错失了机会，因为 AI 可以替你完成这种情绪宣泄和倾倒，帮你保存过去一周所有发生过的细节。

If you're using your therapy for that, you are missing an opportunity because AI can do that for you, that emotional venting and dumping, holding all the details of what has happened to you over the last week.

你真正该做的是，任何治疗或指导支持，都应尽可能在触发事件发生后立即使用，以便重新处理并觉察当时存在的能量和情绪，从而更新你内心持有的创伤性认知模式——那些实时发生的错误信息处理机制。

What you want to do instead is any therapeutic or guidance support you have, you wanna use in as close proximity to the trigger in order to reprocess and notice what energies and emotions are there so you can update the trauma based schemas you're holding, like faulty information processing that's happening in real time.

这种处理必须在激活发生时进行。

That needs to happen when the activation is happening.

我建议，我是坦纳，使用 CBD 和 SD 医学，你应接受训练，以便自己能够做到这一点，因为这种情况在专业服务提供者中非常罕见。

Now I recommend, me Tanner, c b d s d medicine, you get training so that you can do that yourself because it's very unusual with a service provider.

这种方式是随时可用的。

It's on demand in that way.

有时候你运气好，预约在下午两点，中午在工作中被触发，一切刚好对上；但更多时候，是你在现实生活中实时被激活，如果你不具备实时处理所需的能力——承受强烈情绪、重建与自我的内在联结、更新创伤相关的认知模式——

Sometimes you luck out, you have appointments scheduled at 2PM, you get triggered by at work at something at noon, it all just aligns, but more often than not, you're the one in real time in your real life that will be activated and if you don't possess the skills to do the real time work that is required, holding the strong energy, restoring an internal attachment to yourself, updating trauma based schemas.

如果你不能在实时状态下为自己做到这些，你就会错失CPTSD康复的关键环节。

If you can't do that in real time for yourself, you're really missing out on a key aspect of CPTSD resolution.

现实世界，就是实时的、真实的现实世界。

Now real world, that's real time, real world.

现实世界关乎完全的真实共鸣。

Real world is about complete truth resonance.

我经常想象，因为作为幸存者，这对我而言是真实的：我在服务提供者面前压抑或沉默自己，因为我担心他们无法承受我即将说出的内心经历，或者我会陷入某种官僚化的法律保护机制，这机制并不服务于我，而是为了保护机构或组织免于法律追责。

There are many times I imagine, because this is true for me as a survivor, where I have censored or silenced myself in front of a service provider because I was worried either they couldn't handle what I was about to tell them was happening in my mind, or I'd get caught up in some bureaucratic legalistic protection mechanism that wasn't serving me but was protecting the entity or the organization from legal liability.

我不想冒这个险。

And I didn't wanna fucking risk that.

我不希望有什么内容被记在我的病历里，因为一旦写进去，就再也删不掉了。

I didn't want something on my chart I didn't want on my chart because then I can't take it off my chart.

我不希望说出我内心某个部分的想法，结果他们却不理解部分性，转眼间我还被强制要求做些什么。

I didn't want to name, you know, a part of me that had a thought and then they didn't understand parts and now all of a sudden, you know, I'm mandated to do something.

在法律、政治、医疗和社会体系中，确实存在真正的风险，因此我们在这种情境下选择压抑或沉默是完全可以理解的。

There's some real risk with the kind of legal, political, medical, social system, and it makes sense why we would censor or silence in that context.

此外，我们可能还被社会化地灌输了‘不会被理解’的观念。

Also, we may have some socialization of like, won't be understood.

他们会认为我是个怪人。

They'll think I'm a freak.

如果我说出这些，他们就不会喜欢我。

They won't like me if I say this.

这个环境根本不是为这种事设计的。

This isn't what this container is designed for.

所以我再给你讲另一个故事。

So I'll tell you another story.

我第一次尝试呼吸练习是在疫情期间，当时我通过Shift网络报名参加了。

The very first time I ever tried breath work was during the pandemic, and I I signed up for I think it was, through the shift network.

我报名参加了一个呼吸练习课程，为期六周，由一位知名的呼吸练习导师带领，我们会实时进行呼吸练习，然后分组进入Zoom房间，进行有引导的呼吸练习后处理。

Signed up for a breath work class, the cohort, six weeks with a well known breath work practitioner, and we would do the breath work live, and then we'd break into Zoom rooms, and we'd have a facilitated kind of breath work processing.

第一次登录参加呼吸练习时，这真的很有挑战性，我刚吸了两口气，就立刻关掉了电脑，我的笔记本电脑仿佛在说：‘这玩意儿太扯了。’

So breath work was really challenging the first time I logged on, the first couple breaths I took, I immediately slammed down the computer, my laptop was like, fuck this.

我不知道刚才发生了什么。

I don't know what just happened.

那是我最害怕的一刻。

That was the scariest thing.

但我鼓励自己重新尝试，于是我又试了一次，虽然那和我现在跟另一位导师、用另一种方法练习的呼吸体验完全不同，但我坚持了下来。

But I, you know, I encouraged myself to go back, so I tried it a second time and it was not, you know, what I know breath work to be now with a different practitioner and a different technique, but I stayed with it.

你知道，我有一些视觉化的体验。

You know, I had some visualizations.

我不能说我真的释放了情绪或能量，但我能保持在自己的身体里，跟随他们提供的视觉引导。

I can't say I really released emotions or energy, but I was able to stay in my body and follow along with the visualizations they were offering.

所以我坚持完成了，我为自己感到骄傲，心想：‘我挺过呼吸练习了，干得漂亮，塔纳！’然后我们进入了Zoom房间。

So then so I get through, I'm so proud of myself, I'm like, got through the breath work, good job Tanner, we get to the Zoom Room.

在Zoom房间中，我们被要求回顾一下在呼吸练习中看到的内容和那些视觉化体验，其中一部分视觉化是与我们的祖先重新建立联系。

And in the Zoom Room, we're asked, you know, let's debrief what we saw, what the visualizations were in the breath work, and part of the visualization was reconnecting with our ancestors.

嗯。

K.

所以我们现在在Zoom房间里。

So we're in this Zoom room.

我和五个从未见过的人在一起。

I'm with five humans I've never met before.

刚刚做完呼吸练习。

Just done the breath work.

我刚开始接触创伤疗愈，对复杂创伤的理解也很浅，而引导者说：现在我们轮流分享一下。

You know, I'm very new to trauma healing, very new to the understanding of complex trauma, and the facilitator is like, now we're gonna go around and share.

所以你们只需要告诉我们，作为见证者，你们的祖先是谁，他们当时经历了什么。

So I want you just to tell us all for witnessing, like, what what were your ancestors, you know, what was happening with them.

于是我就在这里。

And so here I am.

我始终是个学生。

I'm a student through and through.

我是一名教育者。

I'm an educator.

我热爱学校。

I love school.

所以，充满渴望的我心想，好吧，我来第一个分享，因为我被这个可视化体验深深触动、感动，甚至有点震惊，但更多的是对这个画面感到敬畏，毕竟我对这项工作还非常陌生。

So eager me is like, oh, I'll go first because I was so touched and moved and a little bit shocked, but just really in awe at this visualization that had come through because I was so new to this work.

我从未被允许过这样呼吸或进行可视化练习，我以前从未做过任何身体层面的疗愈工作。

I'd never been given permission to breathe or visualize like I'd I'd never done any embodiment healing work.

我一向过于理性，总是困在头脑里，讲究逻辑、事实和研究。

I was so cognitive, so in my mind, so analytical, logic, facts, research.

当时，这对我来说是一个全新的世界。

So this was a whole new world for me at the time.

所以，我收到信号后，就打算取消静音，分享一下。

So I, you know, get signal I want to unmute and share.

我取消静音并分享。

I unmute and share.

我先开始。

I start off.

嗯，我有点害怕，那感觉非常强烈。

Well, I'm a little bit scared, and it was pretty intense.

但当我们开始呼吸练习时，周围一切都变得漆黑。

But, you know, when we started the breath work, everything kind of went dark.

然后我感觉自己置身于一片荒凉之地，不是墓地，而是一种令人感到死亡气息的黑暗空间。

And then it felt like I was in some sort of desolate, not graveyard, but, you know, some something dark that felt like death.

我在这片极其贫瘠的土地上行走，远处似乎聚集着一些起初看起来像尸体的东西。

And, you know, I was walking across this really barren land, and there was just this gathering of what appeared to be bodies at first.

但当我靠近时，发现那些是尸体或骷髅，身体正在腐烂衰败，神情空洞。

But the closer I got, they were corpses or skeletons, and their bodies were somewhat rotting and decaying, and they they were kind of blank.

仿佛没有多少生命力，我唯一想做的就是逃跑。

Like, there didn't really feel like there was much life force, and all I wanted to do was run.

于是在我的想象中，还没来得及停下，我就已经恐惧地朝另一个方向跑去。

And so in my visualization, before I could even stop myself, I was like running in fear the other direction.

于是我停下来，坐在Zoom前环顾大家的脸，看到的是一张张既惊恐又困惑、略带担忧的表情。

So I pause and I I I'm on Zoom and I look at everyone's faces and I just see these somewhat horrified, somewhat kind of confused, somewhat concerned faces.

于是我干脆停下来说：‘我想，就到这里吧。’

And so I just stop and I say, oh, I think that's it.

我静音了自己。

I mute myself.

然后引导者说：‘好，接下来谁来？’

And then the facilitator is like, okay.

谁想接着分享？

Who wants to go next?

现场陷入了一片寂静。

And it was kind of quiet.

没有人表示想发言。

No one indicated they want to talk.

于是主持人点了一位参与者，他刚说‘我的是’，我立刻感觉到一股暖流涌上脸颊，胃里也沉甸甸的，因为我马上意识到他不会说出我刚才的经历。

So the facilitator called on somebody and they were like, well, mine was you know and right away I could feel in my body a warmth rushing over my face and just this sinking feeling in my stomach because I instantly knew they're not gonna say what I said.

其他参与者也纷纷说：‘呃，我的有点不一样。’

So there's other participants like, well, well, you know, my mine mine was a little bit different.

我的话，我看到了阳光，而且

I mean, I saw sunshine, and

然后，

then,

我感觉全身都暖洋洋的，我祖母握着我的手，说：‘你安全了。’

you know, it just felt I felt warmth all over my body and, you know, my my grandmother held my hand and she said, you're safe.

你不必担心。

You know, you need not worry.

一切都会好起来的。

Everything works out for you.

接下来一位参与者说：‘我站在一片美丽的海滩上，天空中有鸟儿飞翔，海浪轻轻拍岸，我感受到深深的宁静，还有那些充满活力、健康的祖先们。’

And then the next person went, well, I was on this beautiful beach and, you know, there were birds in the sky, and I just got this deep sense of peacefulness as the waves were washing up, participant after participant well and good vibrant healthy ancestors.

我再也没有回去过。

I never went back.

后来我在进行大量自我疗愈的容器练习，并参与创伤支持小组时才意识到，无论我去哪里，甚至在创伤小组里，总会有某种翻译。

I realized much later as I was doing a lot of my own healing containers and, you know, participating in trauma groups that everywhere I went, even in trauma groups, there would be a translation.

要么是翻译得太浅，不够深入。

Either a translation in-depth, this is too surface.

我们没有深入到足够深的程度。

We're not going deep enough.

我的系统承载着更多层次和多维性，远不止于此，或者它太过多维且与现实脱节。

My system holds way more layers and multidimensionality than this, or it was so multidimensional and disconnected from reality.

我想说，但我有孩子啊。

I wanted to say, but I have fucking kids.

你看，我得起床去上班、照顾孩子，所以它虽然能容纳多维性，却失去了与真实生活的联系，作为一个打破循环的人，它只是关注伤痛，却忽略了复杂创伤中的黑暗与非人化本质。

Like, I I get like, I I gotta wake up and go to work and parent so it could hold the multidimensionality, but it had lost connection to lift reality as a cycle breaker or it just was about woundings and about hurts, but not the darkness and the dehumanizing qualities of complex trauma.

这不仅仅是不安全依恋或焦虑型依恋，而是根本就没有依恋。

It's not just insecure attachment or anxious attachment, it's like literally no attachment.

所以，现实世界这个概念指的是你真实经历的一切，未经任何屏蔽或修饰。

And so this idea of real world is about what's really happening for you without censoring, editing.

你所处的环境是否真正针对复杂创伤？

Are you in a container that is about complex trauma?

它足够强大。

It's strong enough.

你足够信任它。

You trust it enough.

你足够尊重它，从而能够触及真实共鸣，因为疗愈发生在真相之中。

You respect it enough so that you can work at truth resonance because healing happens at truth.

而当下的真实生活，就是此刻——不是你希望生活变成的样子，也不是你期盼的样子，而是你当下拥有的生活：你现有的健康状况、银行账户里的钱、你的工作安排，不是等我换了工作、等我找到新工作、等我有了伴侣，不是这些，就是现在！因为你此刻的状态，正在你的生活中真实发生，这才是最佳的训练场。

And then the real life now, right now, not as you want things to be, not as you hope things to be, but this real life that you have with the health that you have, with the dollars in the bank account you have, with the work schedule you have, not when I change my work schedule, not when I get the job, not when I have the partner, no fucking right now because whatever you are is happening right now in your life, that is the ideal training ground.

所以，实时、现实、真实生活。

So real time, real world, real life.

因此，问题不在于我该如何应对那些引发创伤的挑战、压力和情境，比如，我到底该怎么做？

And so the question is not about how do I do this with the challenges and stressors and situations that cause the trauma, Like, how do I what do I do?

或者我该怎么去做？

Or how do I do it?

你感激有机会在这个独特的训练场中开展这项工作。

It's like you're grateful for the opportunity to do this work in the unique training ground.

所以你需要结构、支持、框架和治疗计划，以便这些挑战和情况不会持续发生并不断触发你。

So what you need is you need structures and you need support and you need a framework and you need a treatment plan so that those challenges and situations don't just keep happening and keep triggering you.

它们会持续发生一段时间。

They keep happening for a bit.

你利用被触发的状态来解决你的复杂性创伤后应激障碍。

You use the triggered state to resolve your CPTSD.

你在自我领导力上成长。

You grow in your self leadership.

你开始根据内在状态采取外部行动，而这些挑战和情况也开始在外部得到解决。

You start taking external actions based on an internal state, and those challenges and situations start to resolve externally.

解决发生在内在，也发生在外部。

The resolution happens internally and the resolution happens externally.

这就是我如此热衷于‘先疗愈，再决定’的原因。

It's why I am so passionate about heal first, then decide.

我非常热衷于有效的治疗方案。

I'm so passionate about effective treatment plans.

我如此热衷于将应用心理健康训练作为一种新型心理健康服务，因为这一切都是紧密相连的。

I'm so passionate about applied mental health training as a new kind of mental health service because all of this is woven together.

这并不是我在播客上说的漂亮话，只是为了吸引粉丝或订阅者。

This isn't something cute I say on a podcast to get followers or subscribers.

这 literally 挽救了我的生命。

This is literally what saved my life.

它让我走出了CPTSD的阴影，也成为我作为教师传递给你的疗愈之道，因为我再也不想看到你继续受苦。

What got me to the other side of CPTSD and the medicine that is flowing through me as a teacher that I offer to you because I don't want you to suffer anymore.

你不必如此，这并非必要。

You don't have to, it's not necessary.

现在会有一些人听到这些话，觉得这很可爱，短暂地兴奋两分钟，听的时候有点激动、有点受鼓舞，然后就再也不会去想了。

Now there are people and humans that will listen to this and say that's cute and get excited for two minutes while they listen to this a little bit revved up, a little bit inspired and then they won't think about it again.

你可能再也不会听我说话了，可能会忘记这一切，也可能几个月后才找到我，或者每周都听我讲话、受到鼓舞，但你就是从来不采取任何行动。

You may never listen to me again, you might forget about it, you might find me in a couple months, you might listen every week to me and get inspired, but you never fucking do anything about it.

我希望你能听我说。

I want you to listen to me.

如果你从来不为此采取任何行动，有一天你躺在病床上、面对死亡时，当你吸进最后一口气，你会充满悔恨，巨大的悔恨。

If you never fucking do anything about this, you will be on your deathbed or you will be facing death one day and you will be taking your final breaths and you will have so much regret, so much regret.

我看着我的人生，天啊，这让我情绪激动。

I look at my life and holy fuck, this makes me emotional.

我刚和我第二个大孩子谈过，她非常坦诚地告诉我，我的育儿方式如何毁了她。

I just had a conversation with my second oldest where she was really honest with me about my parenting and how it fucked her up.

她对我很生气，并且认为我应该为此负责。

And she's angry at me, and she holds me responsible.

当我去世的那天，我会对我两个亲生孩子说：我很抱歉。

The day I will die, I will say to my two biological kids, I am so sorry.

那时候我就知道我现在所知道的一切。

I knew back then what I know now.

我真希望能把一切都收回。

I wish I could take it all back.

我会以完全不同的方式去做。

I would do it so fucking differently.

我不会以同样的方式去做，但我无法收回了。

I wouldn't do it the same, but I can't take it back.

我真的做不到。

I just can't.

我唯一能做的，就是在我明白这一切的那一刻。

The only thing I can do is the moment I understood all of this.

自从我意识到自己搞砸了什么，我就尽了最大努力，对自己负责，并在内心和外部做出了真正的牺牲，每天都努力变得更好。

I have worked my hardest and held myself accountable and made real sacrifices internally and externally to do better every day since I understood what I had fucked up.

所以当我回顾我的人生时，我的遗憾会来自于那些我毫无意识、毫无觉知、当时并不知道更好的事情；但从我明白这一切的那天起，直到我死去的那天，我将没有任何遗憾，因为我拼尽全力去打破这个循环。

So when I look back at my life, my regret will be for things that I didn't have any awareness of, I didn't have consciousness of, I didn't know any better, but I will have no regret from the day I downloaded that until the day I die because I worked my fucking ass off to break a cycle.

如果你正在听这个，你有孩子，或者想要孩子，或者想要一些不同的东西，你就不能再假装没听到，因为我现在明确告诉你了：你现在知道了，你听了这个播客，你听到了我说的话，你现在明白了，所以有很多孩子正指望你做得更好，你不能再假装不知道，因为你已经知道了，因为我刚刚告诉了你。这跟你是否跟我合作无关。

So if you're listening to this and you have kids or you want kids or you want something different, you can no longer pretend that you didn't hear it because I told you right now, you know better now, you listened to this podcast, you heard what I said, you know better and so there's a whole bunch of children counting on you to do better and you can't pretend like you don't know because you know because I just told you And so this isn't about whether you work with me or not.

这跟你是否购买CBDSD医药的产品无关。

This isn't about whether you buy something from cbdsd medicine.

我的意思是，如果你真的买了，我会非常高兴，这太棒了，确实有人这么做了，我对此心怀感激。

I mean, I would love if you did and that's incredible and some of you do and I'm thankful and I'm grateful.

这远远不止于此。

This is about more than that.

这关乎你成长为那个成年人。

This is about you becoming the adult

你需要在11岁、13岁，甚至在5岁、3岁、2岁、17岁、22岁、23岁时，有人把你叫到身边，告诉你：你有童年创伤，我想帮助你。

that you needed at 11, at 13, fuck at five, at three, at two, 17, 22, 23 to sit you down and tell you you have childhood trauma and I would like to help you.

我想为你指明这条路。

I'd like to show you the path.

我就是那个为你指明道路的成年人。

I am that adult showing you the path.

现在还不晚，你沿着这条路走下去，然后你就能回头对某个比你更小的孩子说：嘿，这不是你的错。

It's not too late and you walk down that path and then you get to turn around to some kid younger than you and say, hey, it's not your fault.

你有童年创伤。

You have childhood trauma.

这就是路径。

Here's the path.

你知道CPTSD疗法的独特之处在于，像我们这样表面上看起来很优秀的人，几乎找不到多少引导者或探路者。

And you know what's unique about CPTSD medicine is there's very few way showers or pathfinders for those of us that look good on paper.

我花了二十年时间接受治疗，讲述我的故事，解释我对父母的感受，说明我在人际关系中的表现，以及我内心的体验。

I spent twenty years in therapy describing my story, explaining how I felt about my parents, explaining, you know, how I acted in relationships, how I felt inside.

当然，我那时确实在自我审查，没有完全坦诚，但我尽了最大努力去寻求帮助，向别人解释。我上过弗吉尼亚大学，上过哈佛，上过加州大学洛杉矶分校，我并不是那种无法上班的人。

Now, I was censoring for sure, I wasn't being truthful entirely, but I was trying my hardest to get help and explain to somebody but I went to University of Virginia, I went to Harvard, I went to UCLA, I wasn't like I couldn't show up for work.

我不是那种完不成事情的人。

It wasn't like I couldn't get things done.

我不是不够聪明，但这些跟复杂的创伤根本毫无关系。

It wasn't like I wasn't intelligent, but none of that has fucking anything to do with complex trauma.

一点关系都没有。

None of it.

你可以非常聪明。

You can be wicked smart.

你可以把事情搞定。

You can get shit done.

你可以在职业领域里让事情发生。

You can make things happen in the professional work domain.

我谈的是依恋层面——你如何与自己内在相处，那些故事、恐惧和情绪，你如何与亲密伴侣相处，如何与父母、兄弟姐妹相处，如何与孩子相处。

I'm talking about the attachment context, How you relate to yourself internally, the stories, the fears, the emotions you carry around, how you relate to intimate partners, how you relate to your parents, your siblings, how you relate to your children.

我说的就是这个。

That's what I'm talking about.

心理健康，因为复杂创伤会摧毁心理健康。

Mental health because complex trauma destroys mental health.

它最终也会摧毁身体健康，但首先会通过心理健康表现出来。

It eventually will destroy physical health too, but it goes through mental health first.

如果你的身体有任何弱点，它会更快波及到身体，但最终还是会波及到身体健康。

And if you have any weaknesses in your physical body, then it will get there quicker, but eventually it goes to physical health.

我正在向你伸出援手。

I'm offering you a lifeline.

我正在为你提供一条路径。

I'm offering you a pathway.

我正在为你提供指导。

I'm offering you guidance.

但我无法强迫你接受。

And I can't force you to take it.

但它就在这里。

But it's here.

我甚至还没有自我介绍。

Now I didn't even introduce myself.

所以，你好，我是坦纳。

So, hi, I'm Tanner.

如果你以前没听过我，我很感激我们今天相识。

If you've never heard me before, I'm so grateful we've made acquaintances.

如果你经常认真吸收这些内容，我真的很爱你。

If you take all this in quite regularly, I fucking love you.

我们到了。

Here we are.

我们到了。

Here we are.

他会先帮你挑选人生伴侣，或者先在离婚前处理你的伴侣问题。

He'll first then pick your life partner or he'll first before divorcing your life partner.

这里的一切都很重要。

It all matters here.

我将结束这一集。

I'm gonna end this episode.

我将用一些现实生活中的训练技巧来结束这一集。

I'm gonna end this episode by some real life training ground tips.

你准备好了吗？

You ready for them?

好的。

Alright.

让我们具体一点。

Let's get concrete.

我们刚才谈得非常宏大、非常概念化、非常情感化。

We just got we went really big, really conceptual, really emotional.

现在让我们来谈谈实际的。

Now let's get down to okay.

我要留给你什么？

What am I gonna leave you with?

我会给你一些提示。

I'm gonna give you some tips.

这封邮件是我发出去的。

Now this was in an email I sent out.

所以如果你没有订阅我的邮件列表，想去 cptsdmedicine.com，在网站底部，也就是我刚才说的页脚部分，有一个注册邮件的入口。

So if you're not on my email list, you wanna go to cptsdmedicine.com and you wanna in the email, like footer I mean, sorry, the website footer, there's a way to sign up for email.

还有一个令人兴奋的新资源即将推出。

There's also a new exciting resource coming.

如果你点击它，你会跳转到一个401或404页面。

And if you click on it, you're gonna go to a four zero one, four zero four page.

它显示‘尚未上线’，因为还没发布，但我正在后端开发一个治疗效果与投资回报分析工具。

It says not here yet because it's not up yet, but I am developing on the back end a resolution ROI.

所以，如果你有一些分析型或研究型的思维，好奇于CPTSD治愈的投资回报率，我非常期待推出这个工具。

So if you just have some analytical parts, some more researcher parts, and you're curious about what your return on investment would be for CPTSD resolution, I'm so excited to debut that.

我甚至不能说它在概念上已经接近完成了。

I can't even say it's close to being done conceptually.

它已经非常接近了。

It's very close.

我正在做一些调整，但我一定会公布这个消息。

I have some things I'm tinkering with, but I will announce that.

但如果你访问我的网站，就会看到它，所以我先透露一点这个消息，因为我对此非常兴奋。

But if you go to my website, you're gonna see that and so I'm giving a little teaser for that because I'm super excited about it.

我还想提前给大家透露一下三月工作坊的一些信息。

I also want to give a like kind of a little teaser for the March workshop.

距离活动还有一个多月，这个工作坊专为那些喜欢自己动手、没有资源参加‘幸福结局’或其他高成本、高接触式疗愈项目的朋友们准备。你们知道自己需要一份治疗计划，也愿意自己把所有条件都安排好，虽然你们有喜欢的服务提供者，但觉得需要与他们合作或为自己争取，以优化这些服务，使其更符合你们CPTSD康复的需求。

We're we're like a little bit over a month out, this is for you all that are DIYers, you don't have the resources to join happily ever after or any other healer that has kind of a high touch, more expensive container, but you know you want a treatment plan, you're willing to put all the things in place yourself, you have some service providers you love, but you feel like you need to work with them or advocate for yourself to refine those services so that it will meet your CPTSD resolution needs.

详情请访问 cptsdmedicine.com/weekendworkshop，活动时间为3月20日至22日。

That's cptsdmedicine.com/weekendworkshop, March 20 through the twenty second.

我会将一份资源手册邮寄到你们家中，你们可以在工作坊期间翻阅并做笔记。

I will mail you a resource binder to your homes, you'll have something physical to flip through and take notes on during the workshop.

我还会分享这份治疗计划。

And I'm sharing the treatment plan.

这份计划基于‘幸福结局’项目的核心内容，也就是我标志性的六个月一对一IFS疗愈方案。

Everything that happily ever after is based on, that's my signature six month healing container with one on one IFS sessions.

这几乎包含了所有我融入CPTSD医学疗愈方案中的核心内容——指导整个方案结构的基础设施，现在我把这些骨架直接给你们，让你们能在自己的生活中构建属于你们自己的版本。

It's basically everything that has flowed through me into the CPTSD medicine healing protocol, like what infrastructure guides the content of the protocol, I'm giving you those bare bones so that you could create, you know, your own version of the protocol in your own life.

我非常希望你们能参加这个周末工作坊，也特别感谢已经报名的三位朋友。

I would love for you to join that weekend workshop and shout out to the three humans that have already enrolled.

我非常期待三月能和你们共度时光。

I'm so excited to spend time with you in March.

好吧。

Alright.

那么，让我们来总结一下我最重要的现实生活训练技巧。

So let's end my top real life training ground tips.

如果你今天早上收到了这封邮件，我很抱歉。

So if you got the email this morning I'm sorry.

我是在周四录制这段内容的。

I'm recording this on Thursday.

我发了这封邮件，但这段内容将在周五发布，而你可能稍后才听到。

I sent out the email, but you're gonna this is released on Friday, and you might be listening to it later.

但无论你何时收到这封邮件，只要你在听这段内容，它都会为那封邮件补充一些信息。

But if you got this email at any point, you're listening to this, like, will kinda round out that email a little bit.

所以，我最重要的现实生活训练技巧。

So my top real life training ground tips.

所以，让我给你一些背景信息，因为我刚刚讲了很多不同的事情。

So if so let me give you some context because I've just taught about a lot of different things.

好的。

Alright.

所以，这一集的主旨是现实生活的疗愈。

So basically, this whole episode is about real life healing.

当你感到精疲力尽，觉得生活太艰难，永远无法康复，压力太大，根本不想经历这一切，开始自怜时，你要提醒自己：不，不，不，不，我此刻正身处解决CPTSD所必需的位置。

You know, when you get in that exhausted, my life is too challenging, I'm never gonna heal, it's so overwhelming, I wouldn't have chosen this, and you're starting to feel sorry for yourself, you wanna remind yourself, no, no, no, no, I'm exactly where I need to be for CPTSD resolution.

没有任何事情阻碍我的康复。

Nothing is in the way of my healing.

一切就在这里，为我而存在。

It's all right here for me.

我需要记住，真实时间、真实世界、现实生活中的CPTSD康复，是有效CPTSD康复最理想的三种特质。

I need to remember that real time, real world, real life CPTSD resolution is the ideal kind of three qualities of effective CPTSD resolution kind of broadly speaking.

我正通过制定有效的治疗计划、训练自己成为更好的领导者、学习必要技能，来深入理解如何跨越CPTSD的障碍。

And I just deepen into that with effective treatment planning, training myself to be a better leader, learning the skills I need to to get to the other side of having CPTSD.

所以，我就用一些现实生活中的训练技巧来结束这段内容。

So I'm just gonna end this by just taking some real life training ground tips.

现在，我不是在谈实时情境，也不是在谈现实世界，我只谈现实生活。

Now, I'm not talking about real time and I'm not talking about real world right now, I'm just talking about real life.

这就是我想以之结尾的部分。

That's what I wanna end with.

所以，有六件事你可以做，来帮助你把现实生活看作训练场，而不是阻碍你CPTSD康复的因素。

So six things you could do just to kind of increase your ability to see your real life as a training ground, not the way of your CPTSD resolution.

在工作场所，有两件事你可以做：进行责任审计。

So in the workplace, two things, you can do a responsibility audit.

根据你的职位描述，你正式负责哪些工作？如果你是自由职业者，那你必须负责哪些事情？

What are you officially responsible for in work due to your job description, or if you're self employed, you know, what are the things you absolutely have to be responsible for?

然后，你要留意那些部分的自己，总想主动承担一些本不属于你职责范围内的任务。

And then you wanna notice what have parts of you that want to be chosen added to your responsibility list, but technically and officially you are not responsible for them.

你真的需要检查这一点，因为如果你不断添加那些你本不必负责的责任，那这些选择应该是有意识的，而不是出于生存压力。

You really wanna check this because if you keep adding on responsibilities that you are not officially responsible for, you want that to be an intentional choice, not a survival driven choice.

如果你做了这个责任审计，你就立即获得了一个起点，可以卸下那些‘我希望被选择，通过为别人做事情而被选择’的负担。

If you do this responsibility audit, you instantly have a trailhead to unburdening parts of you with the, I want to be chosen and I'm chosen by doing something for somebody else burden.

这正是你在职场中这种负担的完美镜像。

Perfect mirror of that burden in your workplace.

童年印记，职场中的第二个现实生活训练场提示。

Childhood imprint, second real life training ground tip at your workplace.

你小时候是如何试图赢得父母持续关注的？

How did you attempt to earn your parents' sustained attention as a child?

你现在在职场中又是如何延续这种模式的？

And how are you continuing that pattern now in your workplace?

这就是我们正在进行的扭曲信息处理的地方。

So this is where we're doing distorted information processing.

我们正在当下时刻反复回溯过去的经历。

We're looping back through past experiences in the present moment.

这是区分当下现实与过去创伤模式的关键工作，这种区分将增强你的自我领导力，并提升你承受强烈创伤能量的能力。

This is huge work for differentiating present moment reality from past wounding patterns and that differentiation will increase your self leadership and improve your ability to hold strong trauma energies.