身无分文，几近崩溃 | K博士最实用的建议

嘿，大家好。

Hey, y'all.

提醒一下，除了这些超棒的视频，我们还有大量的工具和资源，帮助你成长，克服你面临的挑战。

Just a reminder that in addition to these awesome videos, we have a ton of tools and resources to help you grow and overcome the challenges that you face.

我们有像Doctor K的心理健康指南这样的东西，

We've got things like Doctor.

还有个性化辅导项目，以及免费社区活动之类的工具，无论你在心理健康之旅的哪个阶段，都能帮到你。

K's guide to mental health, personalized coaching programs, and things like free community events and other sorts of tools to help you no matter where you are on your mental health journey.

所以去看看下面描述里的链接，然后回到视频吧。

So check out the link in the description below and back to the video.

嘿，聊天室。

Hey, chat.

欢迎收听HealthyGamerGG播客。

Welcome to the HealthyGamerGG podcast.

我是Alok Kanoja医生，但你可以叫我K医生。

I'm doctor Alok Kanoja, but you can call me doctor K.

我是一名精神科医生，也是一名游戏玩家，还是HealthyGamer的联合创始人。

I'm a psychiatrist, gamer, and cofounder of HealthyGamer.

在这个播客里，我们探讨数字时代的心理健康和生活，拆解一些大问题，帮助你更好地了解自己和周围的世界。

On this podcast, we explore mental health and life in the digital age, breaking down big ideas to help you better understand yourself and the world around you.

那我们就直接开始吧。

So let's dive right in.

如果你正面临被驱逐，如果你在找新工作，如果你在努力自我接纳、自爱，或者别的什么，如果你在试着交新朋友，感到精疲力竭、忙得团团转等等，这些在三十天里都不会对你有帮助。

If you're facing eviction, if you're looking for a new job, if you're working on self acceptance, self love, whatever, if you're trying to new friends, being exhausted, run ragged, etcetera, is, like, not gonna help you over the course of thirty days.

你到处走动，感觉糟透了，不知道怎么社交，努力社交却很挣扎，而且，是的，因为已经精疲力尽了，很难和别人产生共情连接。

You're walking around, you're you feel terrible, you don't know how to socialize, you're struggling to socialize, and, like, yeah, it's going to be very hard to empathically connect with other human beings because you're burnt out.

你知道，只要你的物质状况有问题，就很难获得内心的平静。

You know, as long as your material situation is problematic, it is very hard to achieve mental peace.

你好，K医生。

Hello, doctor K.

我有一个关于漫长一天结束后成就感的问题。

I have a question about feeling accomplished at the end of a long day.

我现在正在努力找一份稳定的收入来源，直到我的雇主让我回去上班。我的账单快到期了，还面临被驱逐的风险。

I am currently trying to find a steady source of income until my employer puts me back to work, my bills are coming up, I face eviction.

我只能控制我能控制的事情，但我还是对自己感到极度失望，觉得自己一直是个失败者。

I can only control what I can control, and yet I still feel extremely disappointed in myself and like a constant failure.

这种自我厌恶我已经背负了很久，而且我也觉得自己永远配不上自己，也配不上别人。

I have carried this self hatred in me for a very long time, and I also feel like I will never be good enough for myself nor anyone else.

情况已经严重到我在自己家里都感到不舒服，我只好骑自行车或者漫无目的地走路，直到天黑。

It has gotten so bad that I no longer feel comfortable inside my own house, and I either ride my bike or walk around aimlessly until nightfall.

我只能说这对我来说就是人间地狱。

I can only describe this as hell on earth for me.

如果你能给我一些关于赚钱或认识新朋友的一般生活建议，我会非常感激。

Is there any general life advice you can give me about making money or meeting new people would be beyond appreciated?

所以，首先，这真的很残酷，兄弟。

So this is, like first thing is, like, this is brutal, man.

所以，你知道，这个人描述的生活就像他们所说的地狱，而且，我觉得这里有很多问题。

So, you know, this person is describing living in what they describe as hell on earth, and, you know, I I think there's so many things going on here.

我觉得这条留言很好，因为它展示了当生活变成他所说的“人间地狱”时，涉及到的方方面面有多少。

I think it's a great voicemail, because it highlights, like, how many dimensions are involved when our life becomes, as he puts it, hell on earth.

首先，我觉得这是我们在精神病学领域普遍严重低估的一点。

So the first thing is I I think this is, like, something that we, generally speaking, grossly underestimate in the field of psychiatry.

那就是一个人的心理状态受环境影响的程度有多大。

Just how bad some or how someone's mental state is influenced by their circumstances.

总的来说，我是个挺幸运的人。

So generally speaking, I'm a pretty lucky guy.

大部分时候事情都挺顺的。

I've had things go my way most of the time.

但我也经历过一些低谷期。

But I have had some rough patches in life.

有一件事我至今还记得，那是我准备开始上医学院的时候，我跟一些也要一起入学的同学聊过，他们找到了住的地方，我也找到了室友，是两个同样是一年级的医学生，他们当时特别自信，还发了照片什么的。

And one of the things that I I still remember, I was when I was about to start medical school, I had talked to some people who were, like, also starting in the class, and I had found they'd sort of found a place, and I I had sort of found roommates, like, two other first year medical students, and and sort of, like, you know, they felt really confident, and they sent pictures and things like that.

我当时就说，你们找到地方了，我真替你们高兴。

And I was like, you know, I I'm I'm glad you guys found a place.

我不想在没看过房子之前就签租约。

I I don't wanna sign a lease until, like, I've seen the place.

所以我去看了那个地方，发现有些奇怪的地方，就是有三个卧室，其中一个特别小，另外两个倒是挺大的。

So I I went to go see the place, and I noticed that there was something really weird, which is that there's, like, two there were three bedrooms, and one of them was tiny, and the other two were, like, pretty big.

所以我就有点搞不清楚房租怎么分摊之类的。

And so I was, like, kinda confused about the rent split and things like that.

所以事情就没能顺利解决。

So, like, things just sort of didn't work out.

我们没能达成一个公平的方案。

We weren't we weren't able to come to an equitable solution.

而且我三天后就要开始上医学院了，突然之间我就没地方住了。

And I'm starting med school in, like, three days, and then suddenly, I don't have a place to live.

我记得那时候吃不下东西，还到处晃悠。

And I remember, like, not being able to eat, also wandering around.

每次吃东西，我都觉得特别恶心。

Like, anytime I would eat food, I would feel incredibly nauseous.

我在这儿，这就是我的机会。

Here I am, like, this is my shot.

我终于进了医学院。

Like, I finally made it in med school.

我真的很努力，但连个住的地方都没有。

I'm, like, working really hard, and and, like, I don't have a place to live.

我真正学到的是，从生理上讲，当你身体状态很差的时候，那些瑜伽训练什么的都白搭了。

And the thing that I really learned there was just physiologically, like, all of the yogic training and all that stuff kinda went out the window when your physiology is running ragged.

我的皮质醇水平高得离谱。

So my cortisol level was through the loo roof.

我吃不下东西。

I was unable to eat.

我吃不下也睡不着。

I was unable to eat sleep.

我特别烦躁不安。

I was, like, incredibly restless.

然后我注意到的第一件事是，这个人说，我在找一种能赚钱的方式，而我的工作好像把我搁置了之类的。

And so the the first thing that I kinda noticed is is this person said, I'm looking for some way to make money while my job is, like, has me on hold or something.

如果你们在生活中挣扎，如果你们自我感觉非常糟糕，我们首先要明白的是，如果你长期处于高压状态，比如工作被搁置，面临被驱逐的威胁，还在拼命赚钱，这本身就是巨大的压力源。

And if y'all are struggling in life, if you feel really bad about yourself, the first thing that we have to understand is that if you were in a chronically high stress state, right, where, like, your job has you on hold, you're you're being threatened with eviction, and you're scrambling to, like, make money, that in and of itself is going to be a gigantic stressor.

我认为我们必须非常小心的一件事是，假设如果我们处于这种状况，如果我们的生活确实如此，如果我们面临非常现实的物质威胁，那么在这些威胁存在的情况下，我们的心理状态将很难修复。

And one of the things that I think we've got to be really careful about is in assuming that if this is the situation that we're in, if this is what our life actually looks like, if we have very real material threats, that our mental space is not is going to be very difficult to fix while these threats exist.

这仅仅是因为这些威胁对我们大脑和身体的影响。

And that's just because of the the the effect of those threats on our our brain and our body.

动力来来去去。

Motivation comes and goes.

但有时候问题不在于更努力，而在于找到正确的支持。

But sometimes it isn't about pushing harder, it's about finding the right support.

这就是我们开发HG Coaching的原因。

That's why we developed HG Coaching.

教练会帮助你把想法变成行动，把行动变成习惯，把习惯变成不同于你现在的生活。

Coaches will help you turn thoughts into actions, actions into habits, and habits into a different life than the one you're living right now.

参加我们辅导项目的人，平均在生活方向和目标感上提升了58%，同时压力和焦虑感也有所减轻。

People who go through our coaching program experience on average a 58% improvement in the sense of direction and purpose in life, and also experience reductions in feelings of stress and anxiety.

真正的改变不会一夜之间发生，而且很少能靠一个人独自完成。

Real change doesn't happen overnight, and it rarely happens alone.

所以，如果你们有兴趣摆脱困境、向前迈进，可以看看下方描述里的链接，试试HG辅导。

So if you all are interested in getting unstuck and moving forward, check out the link in the description below and give HG Coaching a shot.

所以，当我们体内皮质醇水平高，交感神经系统活跃时，会产生以下影响。

So when we have a high level of cortisol in our system, when we have sympathetic nervous system activity, it does the following things.

首先，它会激活我们的网状激活系统。

The first thing that it does is activates our reticular activating formation.

这是我们大脑中位于脑干的一个小部分。

This is a little part of our brain right at the in in the brain stem.

大脑的这个部分控制着清醒状态。

This part of our brain governs wakefulness.

所以，当大脑的这个部分被激活时，就会让我们醒过来。

So this is the part of our brain when it turns on, it wakes us up.

所以当你睡着的时候，然后醒来的时候，就像，你知道，你大脑里有个东西在告诉你，嘿，该起床了。

So when you when you're asleep and then when you wake up, like, you know, something in your brain is telling you, like, hey, it's time to wake up.

所以皮质醇会过度激活网状激活系统，这就意味着入睡变得困难。

So cortisol hyper activates the reticular activating formation, which means that sleeping is difficult.

所以入睡很困难。

So sleeping is difficult.

第二件事就是它会扰乱你的血糖。

The second thing that it's gonna be doing is messing with your blood sugar.

它会让你释放大量葡萄糖到血液里，为那种战斗或逃跑反应做准备，这也能解释为什么我们总是走来走去，因为感觉特别坐立不安。

It's gonna be causing you to release a bunch of, like, glucose into your bloodstream in preparation for kind of this fight or flight response, which can also explain why, like, we walk around so much, because we feel incredibly restless.

这些压力状态的问题在于，它们的设计初衷是让我们牺牲长期健康来换取眼前的生存。

And the problem with these stress states is that they're designed to help us sacrifice long term health for immediate survival.

那为什么我们的大脑不让我们睡觉呢？

So why does our brain keep us from sleeping?

这是因为当这些系统进化出来的时候，我们是在躲避丛林里的老虎，或者被狮子、鬣狗吃掉，或者其他什么危险。

It's because when these systems evolved, we were trying to avoid tigers in the jungle, or being eaten by lions, or hyenas, or whatever.

所以身体大概就是说，接下来的二十四小时你最好别睡，或者睡得很浅，别睡踏实，这样我们才不会在睡觉的时候被吃掉。

So what the body sort of says is that it's really important for you to not sleep over the next twenty four hours, or sleep very lightly, don't get restful sleep, so that we don't get eaten in our sleep.

问题在于，我们今天面对的问题都是长期的、慢性的，对吧？

The problem is that the problems we deal with in today's world are long term, they're chronic, right?

所以如果你面临被驱逐，那意味着这个威胁会持续大概三十天。

So if you're facing eviction, facing eviction means that the threat persists for like thirty days.

然后我们就遇到了一个很有意思的问题，那就是既然我们要面对这个威胁三十天，我们的身体就会累垮。

And then we run into a really interesting problem, which is that since we're facing this threat for thirty days, our body gets run ragged.

而随着身体累垮，我们处理问题的能力也会受到影响。

And as our body gets run ragged, our capacity to deal with our problems becomes impaired.

因为如果你面临被驱逐，如果你在找工作，如果你在努力自我接纳、自爱什么的，如果你在试着交新朋友，那么累垮、精疲力竭等等，在三十天里可帮不了你。

Because if you're facing eviction, if you're looking for a new job, if you're working on self acceptance, self love, whatever, if you're trying to make new friends, being exhausted, run ragged, etcetera, is, like, not gonna help you over the course of thirty days.

所以这就是我要说的第一点，就是只要你的物质状况有问题，就很难获得内心的平静。

So this is where, like, the first thing that I gotta say is that, you know, as long as your material situation is problematic, it is very hard to achieve mental peace.

心理疗愈、心理成长，随便你怎么说。

Mental healing, mental growth, take what however you wanna put it.

这时候你就会说，好吧。

And this is where, you know, you're kinda saying, okay.

比如，我的工作让我一直等着。

Like, I my job has me on hold.

这种事情真的让我很害怕。

Like, this kind of stuff really scares me.

所以一方面，我完全不知道你的情况。

So on the one hand, I have no idea what your situation is.

我也不知道你有什么机会。

I have no idea what your opportunities are.

但我觉得很多年轻人被困在工作里，感觉无法脱身，只能任由工作摆布。

But I think a lot of young people get trapped in a work situation which they feel like they can't get out of, and they're at the mercy of their job.

所以我会首先考虑，比如，你在找办法维持生计，直到工作有起色，但我也建议你开始找别的工作。

And so the first thing that I would consider is, like, you're looking for some way to make ends meet until your job kicks in, but I would also start looking for another job.

所以只要物质条件有问题，比如连个住的地方都没有，心理健康就很难实现。

So as long as, like, material stuff, if you don't have a roof over your head, mental health is very hard to achieve.

有一项很棒的研究正好谈到了这一点。

And there's a really great study that sort of talks about this.

纽约有一个项目叫“住房优先”。

There's a program in New York called Housing First.

以前的情况是，如果你有成瘾问题，你必须戒毒才能获得公共住房。

And what used to happen is that if you had some form of addiction, you had to be sober in order to get public housing.

所以如果你想让政府给你一个住的地方，你必须通过药物检测。

So if you wanted, like, the state to give you a place to live, like, you have to pass drug tests.

问题在于，没有住的地方，真的很难戒掉毒瘾。

The problem is that without having a place to live, it's really hard to get sober.

没有住的地方，你申请工作时，申请表上有一个很简单的部分。

Without having a place to live, when you apply for a job, and there's this really simple part of the application.

姓名？

Name?

地址。

Address.

如果你没有通信地址，找工作真的很难。

When you don't have an address for correspondence, it's really hard to get a job.

当你露宿街头时，真的很难抗拒通过吸毒来获得某种程度的舒适感。

When you're sleeping on the streets, it's really hard to resist some degree of comfort through substance use.

所以这有点像那种很有意思的观点，就是你必须先戒掉毒瘾。

So this was kinda like this really interesting, like, kinda perspective, which is you have to be sober first.

如果你能戒掉，如果你值得，那我们才给你住房。

And if you can become sober, if you deserve it, then we'll give you housing.

但“住房优先”项目最终发现，事情是反过来的。

But what Housing First essentially found is that it works the other way around.

如果你先给人们住房，即使他们还在吸毒，他们参与心理健康护理的能力、找工作的能力、以及不用流落街头、有屋顶遮风挡雨的能力，都会帮助他们戒除毒瘾。

If you give people Housing First, even if they're using, their ability to engage in mental health care, their ability to get a job, their ability to, like, not be on the fucking street so they have a roof over their head, helps them with substance use.

而且我们知道，吸毒成瘾非常非常依赖环境。

And what we know is that substance use is very, very context dependent.

所以这真的很有挑战性。

So this is really challenging.

首先我想说的是，你知道，我们在HealthyGamer社区有很多关于职业方面的资源。

And the first thing that I would say is is, you know, we have a lot of resources through the HealthyGamer community around career related stuff.

我们有一个很棒的职业辅导项目，这可能是HG提供的服务中最稳定、最持续、最成功发展的部分。

We've got an awesome career coaching program, which is probably the most stable, consistent, and successfully growing part of the services we offer at HG.

刚开始规模很小，大概只有50个名额，然后逐渐扩大。

Started pretty small, maybe about 50 spots, and, like, it's gradually grown.

人们从中获得了巨大的价值。

People find immense value out of it.

如果你现在失业或者面临被驱逐，可能暂时无法使用这个项目，但这也是为什么我们还有很多免费资源、视频之类的关于找工作的内容。

That may not be something that's accessible to you right now if you're between jobs and and facing eviction, But that's why we also have a lot of, like, free resources, videos, things like that about getting a job, etcetera.

但我觉得不要搞错了，解决生活中的外部问题很重要。

But I think don't mistake fixing the external things in your life.

这是必须做的。

That has to be done.

否则，你的大脑只会疲惫不堪。

Otherwise, your brain is just gonna be running ragged.

所以这算是其中一部分。

So that's sort of like one piece.

对吧？

Okay?

具体建议的话，简单来说，首先就是打磨你的简历。

And in terms of concrete advice there, simple things are, first of all, polish up your resume.

你知道的，去研究一下怎么把简历打磨好。

You know, do some research on how to polish up a resume.

第二点，我觉得人脉网络真的被低估了。

Second thing is I think, like, networking is really undervalued.

现在这个世界，找工作简直是一团糟。

So we're reaching the state in the world right now where, like, applying for a job is a total mess.

有些公司先这么干了，他们开始用AI。

So you have these companies that they sort of did it first, where they started using AI.

他们开始用AI，还开始用那些大型招聘网站，比如Indeed、Monster.com之类的。

So, like, they started using AI, and they started using, like, these these mega websites, like indeed, and monster.com, or whatever.

所以，就像，你有很多雇主，他们就像，筛选成千上万的申请。

So, like like, you had of all these employers that are, like like, filtering thousands of applications.

现在雇主们真的很不满，因为申请工作的人也在用AI。

And now employers are really upset because the people who are applying for jobs are also using AI.

所以你会收到一些自动生成的邮件，他们让你上传，你知道，提交简历，然后他们还有15页，要你手动输入简历内容。

So you have some, like, automatically generated email where they ask you to upload, you know, you submit your resume, and then they have, like, 15 pages where they want you to manually input your resume.

在这样的世界里，雇主不满意，员工也不满意，所以我觉得人脉关系变得非常重要。

So in a world like this, employers are really unsatisfied, employees are really unsatisfied, and that's why I think networking becomes really really important.

所以去招聘会，去参加你感兴趣的活动或专业活动。

So go to job fairs, go to events or or professional events of things that you're interested in.

去参加会议，认识人，拿名片，向展位上的所有人自我介绍。

Go to conferences, meet people, grab business cards, introduce yourself to all the people at booths.

你知道，去所有这些展位，直接问人家，嘿，你们在招人吗？

You know, like, go to all these booths and just ask people, hey, are y'all hiring?

你们在找这样的人吗，你们在招人吗？

Are y'all looking for someone who's, you know, are are y'all hiring?

直接问就行了。

Just ask.

去认识人。

Meet people.

去参加这些社交活动，介绍自己，诸如此类。

Go to these networking events and introduce yourself and things like that.

我觉得在AI的世界里，人们真的很渴望见到真实的人。

And I think, like, people are starved for, like, real human beings in a world of AI.

所以我会说，把简历打磨好，开始去认识人，你会惊讶于有多少工作机会出现。

So I'd say that, you know, polish up your resume, start meeting people, you'll be amazed at how many job opportunities arise.

大家都说，我一天投一千份简历，因为现在就是这么做的。

Like, everyone's like, I'm applying for a thousand jobs a day because that's how it's done nowadays.

而见到一个真人，一个靠谱、看起来有动力、有能力、还准时出现的人——这本身就占了工作的一半——会比那些成千上万匿名的AI生成的申请者强得多，那些人都是让ChatGPT写简历，越来越千篇一律。

And meeting an actual human being who's like a decent human being who seems motivated, capable, like showed up, right, which is what 50% of a job is, will be a huge leg up over, like, all of these faceless thousand AI generated applicants who are like drafting emails and asking ChatGPT to build them a resume, and it's becoming more and more and more generic.

对吧？

Okay?

现在我们来说说心理层面的东西。

Now we get to the the psychological stuff.

我觉得这部分真的很有意思。

And this I think is really interesting.

首先，我非常喜欢漫无目的地闲逛。

So the first is I'm a huge fan of aimless wandering.

我人生中有好几年都是这么过的。

And I have had literally years of my life where I used to do that.

比如我刚搬到波士顿的时候，没什么正经工作，也没钱付账单什么的。

So when I was in Boston, first moved there, didn't really have a job, didn't really have a way to pay my bills and things like that.

我经常走路，一走就是好几个小时，好几个小时。

I used to walk a lot, like hours and hours and hours.

我觉得这是处理情绪的一个非常好的方式。

I think it's a really great way to process emotions.

我以前还会走着去超市，然后拎着好几斤重的东西走回来。

I used to also, like, walk to the grocery store, like, carrying, you know, pounds and pounds and pounds of groceries.

来回各四十五分钟，我觉得那真的帮了我很多。

It and it would be like a forty five minute trip each way, and I think, like, that really helped me.

所以我觉得，当你听到有人在闲逛，对吧，你得注意安全。

So I think that when I hear someone is, like, wandering around, right, you wanna be safe.

但我觉得总的来说，那是一种情绪处理的方式。

But I think generally speaking, like, that's a form of emotional processing.

这是一种消耗掉身体因为皮质醇水平高而释放到血液里的多余葡萄糖的方式。

It's a form of getting rid of all of that excess glucose that your body is dumping into your bloodstream because your cortisol levels are really high.

这其实可能非常好。

It can actually be really good.

所以我觉得你这样做听起来真的很好。

So I think that's something that you're doing that sounds really good.

对于那些觉得被困住的人，我觉得走路是个很好的选择。

For those of y'all that feel stuck, I think walking is a great option.

现在，我们最后要真正讨论的是，你说你不得不走路，因为你讨厌待在家里。

Now, the last thing that we have to really talk about is you say that you have to walk and, you know, you're wandering around because you hate being at home.

我觉得这里有一个非常重要的功课要做。

And this is where I think there's a really important bit of work.

那就是，你在家的时候，感受到的是什么？

So and that's like, what is it that you experience when you're at home?

你实际上是在逃避什么，躲开什么，逃离什么？

What is it that you're actually literally walking away from, running away from, biking away from?

因为很多时候，当你到处走的时候，我知道我自己就是这样，我就是必须得出去。

Because oftentimes when you wander, and I know that's how it was for me, like, I had to just get out.

就是，我待不下去了。

Like, I could not be here.

对我来说，就像是一股负面的情绪涌上来，完全占据了我的脑海。

And for me, it was like this this flood of, like, negativity that would just dominate my mind.

然后我就一直想啊想啊想，但什么都不会变好，所以我只能赶紧离开那个地方。

And, like, you know, I think about it and think about it and think about it, and nothing would ever get better, so I just had to get the hell out.

我必须逃离那四面墙。

I had to escape these four walls.

我不是说你应该回家坐在那堆烂摊子里，但我觉得一个好的起点就是当你逃离四面墙的时候。

And I'm not saying that you should go home and sit in that mess, but I think a great place to start is when you're running away from your four walls.

在散步途中，找个地方坐下来，让那些想法涌上来。

In the middle of your walk, sit down somewhere, and let some of those thoughts come.

让那些东西涌上来。

Let some of that stuff come.

通常，当你待在这四面墙里时，你会同时被太多想法轰炸。

So usually, when you're in these four walls, you get bombarded with too many thoughts at the same time.

当被轰炸时，你其实无法处理它们。

And when you get bombarded, you can't really deal with them.

但当你走路时，会发生一些很酷的事情。

But when you walk, something really cool happens.

你会开始感到疲惫。

You start to get exhausted.

所以当你走很多路时，血糖会开始下降，对吧，因为你用肌肉，骑车，等等。

So as you start to walk a lot, your blood sugar starts to drop, right, because you're using your muscles, biking, whatever.

你开始呼吸得更重了。

You start to breathe more heavily.

所以你的呼吸模式发生了变化。

So your your respiratory pattern changes.

你开始做更多深呼吸。

You start to take more deep breaths.

你的呼气，你的呼气频率可能会增加。

Your exhalation, your rate of exhalation may increase.

你开始让身体感到疲惫。

You start to physically exhaust yourself.

这就是我们走路的原因。

That's why we walk.

因为当身体疲惫时，我们就会变得精神平静。

Because when we're physically exhausted, we become mentally calm.

所以如果你坐下来，你会注意到你的思绪变得有些迟钝。

So then if you sit down, you'll notice that there is a dullness to your mind.

但这种迟钝感其实很棒。

But that dullness is amazing.

与其让那些像循环一样反复出现的过度活跃的念头一直转个不停，现在你累了，也走了路，你的副交感神经系统就开始起作用了。

Rather than having hyperactive thoughts that are like looping, looping, looping, looping, looping, now that you're exhausted, now that you've walked, your parasympathetic nervous system kicks in.

你的血糖快耗尽了。

You're running out of blood glucose.

然后你就开始平静下来，找个公园长椅坐下，让那些念头随便来，来就来吧。

So then you're starting to calm down, sit on a park bench somewhere, and let whatever thoughts come, let them come.

然后试着挑一两件事去处理。

And just try to pick one or two things to work on.

你可能会注意到有些东西浮出水面。

You may notice that something floats to the surface.

因为走路的时候，你的大脑在大量处理信息。

Because while you're walking, your brain is doing a ton of processing.

而这时候，不管浮上来的是什么，很多人都会犯一个特别关键的错误，就是当问题在脑海里出现时，他们会把它们看得太抽象。

And this is where whatever floats to the surface, there's one really critical mistake that a lot of people make, which is that when problems arise in their mind, they view them abstractly.

明白吗？

Okay?

所以这是一篇关于反刍思维的好论文。

So this is a great paper on rumination.

如果你看到那些陷入自己思绪的人，对吧，这就是反刍思维。

And if you look at people who get stuck in their own heads, right, this is rumination.

他们用一种抽象的处理方式来对待自己的想法。

They use an abstract processing style for their thoughts.

而这会造成一个大问题。

And this create this is a huge problem.

所以如果你是一个容易反刍的人，脑子里卡住一个问题，怎么都解决不了，你有很多无用的思考，停不下来，一直在想啊想啊想啊想，但情况从来没有好转。

So if you're someone who ruminates, who gets one problem stuck in your head, and you can't solve it no matter you have a bunch of useless thinking about it, you can't stop thinking about it, you're thinking thinking thinking thinking thinking, but it never gets better.

它从来没有好转的原因之一，就是你看待事物的方式是抽象的。

One of the reasons it never gets better is because the way that you view things is abstract.

明白吗？

Okay?

现在有大量证据表明，反刍思维中存在不同的加工方式，每种方式都有截然不同的有益或有害后果。

There is now extensive evidence that there are different processing styles during rumination, each with distinct helpful versus unhelpful consequences.

抑郁性反刍思维的现象学特征，尤其是最具病理性的沉思型反刍，其加工方式是抽象且分析性的。

The processing style characteristic of the phenomenology of depressive rumination, especially the most pathological brooding style, is abstract and analytical.

我希望大家明白这意味着什么。

I want y'all to understand what this means.

如果你采用抽象且分析性的思维方式，这会对你的心理健康造成问题。

If you are abstract and analytical, it will cause problems for your mental health.

明白吗？

Okay?

这种加工方式涉及一般性、上位、去情境化的心理表征，这些表征传达了目标和事件的基本意义、原因和影响。

This processing involves general, superordinate, decontextualized mental representations that convey the essential meaning, causes, implications of goals and events.

即行动背后的“为什么”方面。

The why aspects of an action.

相比之下，还有一种更具适应性的加工方式，它更为具体，侧重于对事件的直接、具体和情境化的体验。

In contrast, there is a more adaptive processing style, which is more concrete that involves a focus on the direct, specific, and contextualized experience of an event.

这种处理模式关注的是目标、事件和行动的具体细节，也就是做某件事的可行性、具体步骤和方法。

This processing mode addresses the detail details of goals, events, and actions that denote the feasibility mechanics and the means of how to do an action.

我知道信息量有点大，那我来解释一下这是什么意思。

Now, I know that that's a lot of different information, so let's explain what that means.

我们当中有些人是抽象思维者。

Some of us are abstract thinkers.

我们知道，如果你研究那些反复思考、反复琢磨的人，你会发现，那些在思考时采用抽象方式的人会遇到各种问题。

And what we know is if you study people who ruminate, who think over and over and over again, what we find is the ones who think abstractly when they ruminate run into all kinds of problems.

这些人把事情过度概括化。

These are people who generalize things way too much.

他们还会把事物从具体情境中抽离出来。

They also decontextualize things.

所以他们得出一些高层次结论，通常是关于自己的，但这些结论与具体情境无关。

So they form meta level conclusions, usually about themselves, that are independent of context.

我是个失败者。

I'm a loser.

所有女人都是贱人。

All women are bitches.

现在我觉得，我从来没约会过，以后也不可能约会了。

There's now that I've never dated anyone, I'm never going to be able to date anyone.

这些都是笼统的、高层次的、抽象的概括。

These are general, superordinate, abstract meta constructs.

我完了。

I'm screwed.

我是个失败者。

I'm a loser.

这些都不是针对具体情况的。

They're not contextual.

不是说我在这个情况下因为这三四个原因输了，然后在另一个情况下又因为另外三四个原因输了，而是他们把所有具体情境都去掉了。

It's not that I lost in this situation because of these three or four different things, And then I lost in this other situation because these three or four different things or like they don't they remove all context.

他们把所有具体信息都去掉，只关注原因。

They remove all concrete information and they focus on why.

为什么世界会是这样？

Why is the world this way?

为什么我独自一人？

Why am I alone?

为什么？

Why?

为什么？

Why?

然后他们从大局出发，哦，是的。

And they think in big picture, oh, yeah.

就像，所有的精英都在毁掉这个世界，而我不是精英，有精英，我是平民，他们就是这样想的。

Like, there's, like, all of the elites are now ruining everything in the world, and I'm not an elite, and there's the elites, and I'm a pleb, and, like, they think in these ways.

并不是说这些说法不真实。

And it's not that that stuff isn't true.

我要把这点说清楚。

Let me be very clear about this.

这不是关于那件事是真是假的问题。

This is not about whether that is true or not true.

而是关于它有没有用的问题。

It is about whether it is useful or not useful.

而且我们对此有研究，对吧？

And what we there's research on this, right?

关于反刍思维的研究表明，那些过度抽象地沉思和思考的人，这种思考方式是不可操作的。

The research on rumination shows that people who brood and think in an overly abstract way, this is not actionable.

如果我是个失败者，而精英们掌握着所有权力，那我周三早上醒来该做什么？

If I'm a loser and the elites have all the power, what do I do when I wake up on a Wednesday morning?

我该采取什么行动？

What action do I take?

而更有用的是具体的处理方式。

And what's way more useful is a concrete processing.

一种具体的思考方式。

A concrete way of thinking.

是什么环境让我走到这一步的？

What is the context that put me here?

有哪些具体的个人因素在影响这个局面？

What are the individual circumstances that are contributing to this situation?

因为有意思的是，如果你去思考某个失败或问题的背景，当你改变那个背景时，问题的结果也可能改变。

Because the cool thing is if you think about the context of a particular failure or problem, if you change that context, the outcome of the problem can change.

如果我这门课不及格是因为我的双相情感障碍太严重了，那并不意味着我会一直不及格。

If the reason that I failed this class is because my bipolar disorder was way too active, that doesn't mean that I'm going to fail forever.

那意味着，如果我调整双相这个变量，比如我接受合适的治疗，那我就能通过。

That means that if I adjust this bipolar variable, right, if I get appropriate treatment for bipolar disorder, then I can pass.

所以一旦你给情况加上背景，比如“我是个失败者”，那你就没法解决了。

So the moment that you add context to your situation, I'm a loser, that's not something that you can fix.

那就像，你能怎么办呢？

That's like, what do you do about that?

我也不知道。

I don't know.

所以一定要非常具体。

So be very concrete.

专注于怎么做。

Focus on how.

这就是那些反复思考、陷入自己思绪中的人所面临的。

And this is what people with rumination, people who ruminate, who get stuck in their own head.

这正是人们真正难以应对的地方。

This is what people really struggle with.

他们很难用这种方式思考。

They have a lot of difficulty thinking in this way.

这一点非常重要，需要理解。

And this is really important to understand.

这并不意味着你不能这样思考。

It doesn't mean that you can't think in this way.

只是说这样做很困难。

It just means that it's difficult.

所以这些人常常还会做的一件事就是，如果我问你，是什么背景造成了这个情况，他们会说，我想不出任何东西。

So oftentimes what these people will also do is if I ask you what is the context that is creating the situation, they say, I can't think of anything.

然后他们就会得出结论，那就说明什么都没有。

And then they conclude, that means that there is nothing.

这是个大错误。

Huge mistake.

明白吗？

Okay?

你想不出什么，不代表它就不存在。

Just because you can't think of something doesn't mean that it doesn't exist.

而这正是他们困难的地方，因为他们的脑子看不到那些背景变量。

And this is exactly where they have difficulty because their brain is not able to see contextual variables.

他们需要更费力地拉伸自己的计算功能，才能找到这些具体的变量。

It requires way more stretching of their calculative function to be able to find these these concrete variables.

他们的大脑非常擅长处理抽象的、宏观的、元层面的、上位概念之类的想法。

Their brain is very tuned to abstract, big picture, meta, superordinate kind of ideas.

他们是深度思考者，也是大格局思考者。

They're deep thinkers, big thinkers.

但他们在思考机制、具体细节和情境因素方面有很大困难。

But they have a lot of difficulty thinking about how, the mechanism, the concrete stuff, the contextual stuff.

所以我通常的做法是去散个长步，坐下来待一会儿，让一些想法浮出水面，然后专注于那些造成你问题的情境。

So what I do is take a long walk, sit down for a little while, let something float through to the surface, and then focus on the context that is creating your problems.

如果你对自己有一些负面想法，想想你各种失败的情境，这些情境让你形成了关于自己的这种高层次抽象结论。

For if you have some negative thoughts about yourself, think about the context of your various failures that allow you to form this meta level abstract conclusion about yourself.

如果这个变量变了，那个变量也变了，结果会有什么不同？

If this variable had changed and this variable had changed, what would have changed?

如果这个变量变了，那个变量也变了，结果会有什么不同？

If this variable had changed and this variable would have changed, what would have changed?

在第三种情况下，如果这两个变量都变了，结果会有什么不同？

And in this third instance, if these two variables changed, what would have changed?

然后你就有了前进的方向。

And then you have your road forward.

现在的目标就是专注于改变那些变量。

Now the goal is gonna be focusing on changing those variables.

所以你现在处于一种迷失的状态，四处徘徊，感觉糟糕透了，不知道怎么社交，努力想融入却很难。

So here you are in a situation where you're lost, you're walking around, you're you feel terrible, you don't know how to socialize, you're struggling to socialize.

而且，是的，社交确实很难。

And like, yeah, it's gonna be hard to socialize.

这会很难，要跟别人建立真正的共鸣会非常难，因为你已经精疲力尽了。

It's gonna be a hard it's going to be very hard to empathically connect with other human beings because you're burnt out.

精疲力尽的第一征兆就是对别人缺乏同理心。

The first sign of burnout is a lack of empathy for other people.

在同理心方面，如果你没有同理心，就很难跟另一个人建立起自然的联系。

In empathy, if you don't have empathy, it's very hard to form an organic connection with another human being.

这不代表你是个失败者。

Doesn't mean you're a loser.

也不代表你是那种没人要的人。

Doesn't mean you're an incel.

这并不意味着你是个弱者。

Doesn't mean that you're a beta.

如果你已经精疲力竭了，就很难和别人建立联系，因为你的大脑会觉得，我们没时间去考虑别人的想法。

If you are burnt out, it's gonna be hard to connect to other human beings, because your brain is like, we don't have time to think about other people's perspectives.

我们没时间去感受别人的感受，因为我们自己已经忙得不可开交，要处理太多情绪了。

We don't have time to feel what other people are feeling, because we're way too busy dealing with the excessive amount of feelings that we have.

所以，处于这种状况其实很平常。

So it's completely ordinary to be in this situation.

明白吗？

Okay?

这并不会让你失败或者怎样。

Doesn't make you lose or anything like that.

但要让一些东西浮出水面，想想怎么把它具体化。

But let something float to the surface and think about how can I make this concrete?

怎么让它变得可执行？

How can I make this actionable?

我现在的处境，是什么背景因素造成了这个特定的局面？

What is the context to my situation, which is creating this particular scenario?

我怎样才能调整我的背景，希望能往好的方向改变？

How can I alter my context to hopefully change in a positive way?

那么，我需要改变哪些变量呢？

So if I what are the variables that I need to change?

这就是你需要开始思考的方式。

That's the way that you need to start thinking.

我记得，当我走在波士顿的街头，感觉自己很糟糕，还恶心想吐的时候。

And I remember when I was, you know, wandering through the streets of Boston and feeling really terrible about myself and nauseous.

你知道，我会找个地方坐下来，然后想，好吧，我现在需要做的一件事是什么？

Know, You I would sit down at places and I'd be like, okay, like, what is, like, one thing that I need to do?

就是从那时候开始的，我到现在还记得。

And it started I still remember to this day.

我当时对自己说，好吧，我得先吃点东西。

I said, okay, I need to, like, get some food in my body.

然后我坐下来，花了一整天的时间去尝试。

And then I sat down and I, like, tried for, like, the course of a day.

我试了各种各样的东西。

I tried all kinds of things.

最后我选定了原味酸奶，还有硬塞下去一个贝果。

And what I settled on was plain yogurt and choking down a bagel.

所以我能吃酸奶，能吃香蕉，然后我强迫自己吃一小口贝果，一口一口地吃，吃一个贝果花了我一个小时，因为我一直觉得恶心。

So I could eat yogurt, I could eat bananas, and I was like I forced myself to eat a tiny bite of, like, a bagel, like, one bite at a time, and it took me an hour to eat a bagel, because I felt chronically nauseous.

这就是你需要采取的那种步骤，因为至少现在我的身体有了一些食物。

Those are the kinds of steps that you need to take, because now at least my body has some food.

现在它有了一些卡路里，因为我正在消耗卡路里。

Now it's got some calories, because I'm burning through calories.

我怎么才能上床睡觉？

How do I get to bed?

我爱上了有声书。

Fell in love with audiobooks.

所以我会听一本有声书，然后躺下来，这样能帮我分散注意力。

So I'm gonna listen to an audiobook, and I'm gonna lay down, and it'll help distract myself.

最后我会睡着，而且这跟看书差不多，所以我就直接这么做了。

Eventually, I'll fall asleep, and it's like, like reading anyway, so let me just go ahead and do that.

所以，要开始扭转生活，确实需要这些具体的行动。

So it's really concrete actions to start to turn your life around.

我觉得身处这种处境真的非常艰难。

And I think it's incredibly hard to be in this situation.

我觉得有这么多人处于这个人所描述的那种处境，真是太可悲了。

I think it's tragic that so many human beings are in the situation that this person described.

人们就是被坑了。

People are just getting screwed.

他们被一点点磨垮了。

They're getting, like, ground down.

希望这能有所帮助。

And hopefully, this helps.

感谢你今天加入我们。

Thanks for joining us today.

我们在这里帮你了解自己的内心，过上更好的生活。

We're here to help you understand your mind and live a better life.

如果你喜欢这次对话，记得订阅。

If you enjoyed the conversation, be sure to subscribe.

下次再见，照顾好自己，也照顾好彼此。

Until next time, take care of yourselves and each other.