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欢迎来到Hey Tablo。
Welcome to Hey Tablo.
大约十天前，我在YouTube的社区板块发帖说，我可能会举办一次建议交流会。
About ten days ago, I posted on our community section on our YouTube, I might do an advice session.
很多人都留下了评论。
And a lot of people left comments.
现在很多人需要建议。
A lot of people need advice right now.
那么我们开始建议交流会吧。
So we begin the advice session.
Tablo。
Tablo.
我一边说话一边吃点东西。
I'm gonna eat as I talk.
就吃一点点，因为我快饿死了。
Just a little bit because I'm dying.
等一下。
Hold on.
我会尽量安静地吃，但你知道吗，解决烦恼的一种方式就是ASMR。
I'll try to eat as quietly as possible, but also, you know, one of the things that solves problems is is ASMR.
好的。
Okay.
我们开始吧。
Let's begin.
好吧，我的肚子在叫了。
The fir Okay, my stomach is growling.
这就是原因。
This is why.
你更想听什么？
What would you rather listen to?
我的肚子叫，还是听一点鸡肉在嘴里的声音？
My stomach growling or a little bit of, you know, chicken in my mouth?
好的。
Okay.
第一个问题是，我应该在多大年纪时停止？
The first one is, At what age should I stop?
好的。
Okay.
很多人正在面对年龄的问题。
A lot of people are dealing with like age.
我看到很多评论说，我现在感觉好老啊。
I see a lot of comments like, I feel so like old now.
比如，我不确定我还能不能，然后一看，他们才22岁。
Like, I'm not sure if I can And then I look and they're like 22.
我应该在多大年纪时停止当K-pop粉丝？
At what age should I stop being a K pop stan?
或者像我常说的，资助七个韩国男孩。
Or as I like to call it, sponsoring seven boys from Korea.
好吧，这明显是粉丝群体的问题。
Okay, this is clearly an army issue.
显然是防弹少年团。
Clearly BTS.
作为背景，我今年36岁，每当我同事听到我播放我的歌单，或者我因为新专辑发布或参加演唱会而兴奋时，他们都会翻白眼。
For context, I am 36 and my coworkers roll their eyes anytime they hear me play my playlist or when I get excited about a comeback or attending a concert.
我开始觉得，也许我该停止我的支持，转而关注别的事情。
I am starting to think maybe I should stop my sponsorship and focus on something else.
有什么建议吗？
Advice?
致所有觉得自己因为喜欢某样东西、某个人，或者某种文化爱好而显得不够成熟的人。
To all the people out there that feel like they're not acting their age because they stan something or someone or, you know, some kind of cultural thing or some hobby.
让我这么说吧，我比发帖的这位年纪还大，但我喜欢的东西可多了。
Let me just say, I'm older than this person that posted this, but I stan a lot of things.
我依然在做很多所谓‘这个年纪不该做’的事情。
I still do a lot of things that quote unquote aren't things that I should be doing at my age.
比如说，我收集过乐高小人，就是那些乐高人物。
For example, you know, I collected LEGO minifigures, like those LEGO people.
我甚至专门买了定制款，因为乐高官方不会未经授权制作某些角色，但有一些艺术家会制作像约翰·威克这样的角色的乐高模型。
And I even went so far as to buy custom ones because LEGO doesn't officially create certain characters unless they have a license, but there's these artists that create Legos of like like for example, John Wick.
我还有《教父》之类的角色。
I have like the Godfather and stuff like this.
我在房间里布置了一个展示架，其实是我妻子买给我的，因为她觉得我现在对这个真的很着迷。
And I set up this whole thing in my in my there's like this this display in my room that my wife actually bought for me because she's like, this guy seems to be really into this now.
对吧？
Right?
所以她真的给我买了一个玻璃展示柜，我在里面布置了一个完整的电影世界，就像一个多元宇宙。
So she actually bought me like a glass display and I I set up an entire movie world in there, like a multiverse.
里面有《侏罗纪公园》里的恐龙，全部是乐高做的。
There's like There's like a dinosaur from Jurassic Park and all Lego.
我还开始自己打印标语之类的，我做了一个电影院，自己印了招牌。
And I started printing my own signs and stuff to like I made a movie theater and I printed my own signs.
有一刻，我照镜子时，竟然讨厌起自己来。
And at one point I looked in the mirror and I hated myself.
我当时想：我到底怎么了？
I was like, What the hell is wrong with me?
我到底正在经历什么？
Like, what is it I'm going through right now?
这到底是什么？
Like, what is this?
这是中年危机吗？
Is this a midlife crisis?
我变得非常担心，对吧？
And I got so worried, right?
于是我开始和女儿一起玩积木，结果我陷得比她还深。
And I started this level thing with my daughter and I fell into it way deeper than her.
她早就已经不玩了，而我却还在玩。
She had already grown out of it and I was still on it.
我当时就想，这一定是我的中年危机。
And I was like, this must be my midlife crisis.
天哪，我太尴尬了。
Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed.
我觉得自己在浪费时间和一点钱在这件事上，我到底在干什么？
Like I'm wasting time and a little bit of money on this, like what am I doing?
然后我和一些比我年长的兄弟待在一起。
And then I was hanging out with some hyungs that are older than me.
他们都是商人，非常有成就的人，对吧？
And they're all like business people and very accomplished people, right?
我和他们在一起时，他们聊起自己的爱好，比如雪茄、收藏葡萄酒、威士忌、打高尔夫。
And I'm with them and you know, they're talking about their hobbies And it's like cigars, collecting wine, like whiskey, playing golf.
有些人还谈到了汽车，但这些我都不懂也不感兴趣。
Some of them were talking about like cars, none of which I understand or care about.
因为我根本不做这些事。
Like I don't do any of those things.
开车。
Drive.
你给我随便一瓶七十一元的便宜葡萄酒，我也尝不出它和价值一万美金的有什么区别，我真的分辨不出来。
You can give me like cheap wine from seven Eleven and I won't know the difference between that and something that's like $10,000 Like I just can't tell the difference.
这些对我来说完全是浪费，对吧？
It'll be totally wasted on me, right?
所以我听着他们说话，心想：好吧，他们确实是在表现得符合自己的年龄。
So I'm like listening to them and I'm like, okay, they're clearly acting their age.
但后来我仔细一想，他们花在这些东西上的钱比我多得多，而这些爱好和收集乐高或捡贝壳一样随意。
But then I thought about it and I'm like, they're spending way more money than me on this stuff that is as arbitrary as collecting Legos or like collecting seashells.
你明白我的意思吗？
Do you know what I mean?
如果你仔细想想，收集葡萄酒其实也同样随机和古怪。
Like collecting wine is just as random and weird if you think about it.
因为说到底，它不过就是一种饮品。
Because like, it's like a beverage.
你喝掉它，它就没了。
You drink it and it's gone.
雪茄，你抽完它，也就没了。
Cigars, you smoke it and it's gone.
这一切都是一次性用品，就像乐高一样。
It's all disposable just as Legos are.
我一直在想，我只是恰好正在做这件事而已。
And I was thinking about it and I was like, I just happen to be doing this right now.
所以我说，布兰妮，我觉得资助七个韩国男孩，远比收藏葡萄酒或高尔夫球杆要好得多，你知道吗？
So I'm saying, Britney, I think sponsoring seven boys from Korea is way better than collecting wine, you know, or collecting golf clubs.
对吧？
Right?
这些高尔夫球杆又不是有生命、有灵魂、有艺术性、有编排、有梦想和热情、有故事线的个体。
Like these golf clubs are not like breathing individuals with souls, with like artistry, with like choreography, with like dreams and passions, with like story arcs.
但那七个韩国男孩，他们自己在Netflix上做了一档 comeback 节目。
But the seven boys from Korea, they did their own show on, like comeback show on Netflix.
亿万富翁的高尔夫球杆会有自己的Netflix节目吗？
Do a billionaire's golf clubs have their own show on Netflix?
不，它们没有。
No, they do not.
坚定地坚持你所相信的。
So proudly stand what you stand.
年龄与此无关。
Age has nothing to do with it.
我认识一些人，他们在四十岁时故意从喜欢嘻哈音乐转向喜欢爵士乐，因为他们对自己喜欢嘻哈感到非常尴尬。
I know people who deliberately switched over from liking hip hop music to liking jazz when they hit 40 because they were so self conscious about liking hip hop.
如果这是彻底的转变，那也罢了，但他们仍然在听嘻哈。
And if it was a clean switch, whatever, but they still listen to hip hop.
我知道。
I know it.
他们在家里听嘻哈，但当他们外出时，有人问：嘿，你还喜欢嘻哈吗？
They're listening to hip hop at home, but when they go out, when someone asks, Hey, do you still like hip hop?
哦不，我不再听那个了。
Oh no, I don't listen to that anymore.
去听爵士乐吧。
Listen to jazz.
我就想，我知道你在撒谎。
And I'm like, I know you're lying.
我知道你在撒谎。
I know you're lying.
说一首爵士乐曲名。
Name one jazz song.
他们就说，迈尔斯·戴维斯？
And they're like, Miles Davis?
我就想，迈尔斯·戴维斯是个名字。
And I'm like, Miles Davis is a person.
迈尔斯·戴维斯是个音乐家。
Miles Davis is the musician.
说一首爵士乐曲的名字出来。
Name one jazz song.
我要你说出至少两首才行。
I'm talking about two cuts.
别自欺欺人了。
Don't live a lie.
懂了吗？
Okay?
坦然地做防弹少年团的粉丝就好。
Proudly stan BTS.
坦然地支持你喜欢的任何偶像都没问题。
Proudly stan whoever you stan.
坦然地拥护你热爱的爱好就很好。
Proudly stan the hobbies you stan.
说实话这没什么大不了的，毕竟要是告别这些、去做符合你年龄的事，或是去做所谓更“有格调”的事，不仅要花更多钱，还没那么有意思。
It's okay because moving on from that to do something more your age or to do something more like classy just costs more money and is less fun, to be honest.
你会被晒伤。
You get like sunburnt.
好的，下一个。
Okay, here's the next one.
如果你是内向者，如何在三十多岁时交朋友。
How to make friends in your thirties if you're an introvert.
还有一个人评论说：作为成年人，尤其是刚毕业、在办公室与年长同事共事时，如何交朋友。
And another person commented, How to make friends as an adult, especially if you're fresh out of school and have an office job with much older coworkers.
很多人问到，年纪大了之后如何交朋友。
A lot of people asked about being able to make friends when you're older.
我想可能是因为我的团体Epikai以朋友多、年纪大而闻名。
I think it might be because Epikai, my group, is known to be like friends and old.
年长却有朋友。
Friends while old.
所以很多人问这种问题，但到底怎么回事啊，Grace？
So a lot of people ask questions like this, but what the hell, Grace?
它粘在我身上了。
It's stuck on me.
你比我嘴里的鸡还吵。
You're louder than the chicken in my mouth.
对不起。
Sorry.
没关系。
It's okay.
没关系。
It's okay.
你刚刚替我解围了。
You just covered for me.
所以，关于莎拉的问题，这个问题里有两个不相关的问题，如果你仔细想想的话。
So, setting Sarah nine, there's two problems in the question and they're not really connected if you think about it.
一个是她想知道三十多岁怎么交朋友，另一个是如果你是个内向的人。
One is she wants to know how to make friends in your thirties and one is if you're an introvert.
这是两件完全不相干的事，对吧？
Two very separate things, right?
如果你是内向的人，那不管你是30岁、40岁、50岁、100岁、20岁，还是5岁，情况都一样。
If you're an introvert, it doesn't matter if you're 30, 40, 50, 100, 20, five.
简单来说，内向就是内向，改不了的。
If you're well, if you're an introvert, you're an introvert.
那我们先来解决内向这个问题。
And so let's first tackle the introvert problem.
我就直说了啊，很明显我不是内向的人。
I'm gonna flat out, you know, say I'm not an introvert, obviously.
我是外向型人格。
I'm an extrovert.
我是ENFP型人格。
I'm ENFP.
所以我可能没办法完全理解内向的人脑子里都在想些什么。
So I might not understand fully what goes on in in in an introvert's mind.
我先做个声明，我会试着以叔叔、哥哥、欧巴、大叔或父亲的身份给出建议。
And just to like put out a disclaimer, I'm gonna try to give advice as like an uncle or like a hyung or an oppa or an ajussi or a dad.
我会给出建议，但今天我提供的所有建议都源于我的个人经验或我会去做的事情。
I'm gonna give advice, but all of the advice I give today is coming from experience or something I would do.
这仅仅来自一个人的想法。
It's just coming from an individual's mind.
所以，请不要把我今天说的任何话当作绝对真理而盲目追随。
So do not take anything I say today as absolute gospel and run with it.
我不是专业人士。
I am not a professional.
说实话，我甚至不信任那些专业人士。
And to be honest, I don't even trust the professionals.
既然我不信任专业人士，那我有多不可信呢？
So if I don't trust the professionals, how untrustworthy am I?
所以，别把我所说的话当作绝对真理。
So don't take what I say as absolute truth.
我只是想帮忙。
I'm just gonna try to help.
虽然我不是内向的人，也不太理解内向者，但我的团队里有个内向者叫Mithrajin，家里也有一个，就是我妻子。
Although I'm not an introvert and I don't understand introverts too well, I do have an introvert in my group, Mithrajin, and I do have an introvert in my home, my wife.
我妻子话不多。
My wife doesn't talk a lot.
她只说必须说的事。
She only says what needs to be said.
她还说，不是我不喜欢说话，而是你从不给我机会。
She also said, It's not that I don't like to talk, it's that you never give me a chance.
但那不是重点。
But that's besides the point.
总之，她是内向的。
Anyway, she's introverted.
Mithrajin也是内向的。
And Mithrajin is introverted.
就像他只有在……你懂的，只有对某件事超级感兴趣的时候才会开口，那段时间会突然说好多话，之后又立马安静下来，多半就去摸鱼犯困了，你懂吧。
Like he only talks when, you know, he's like super interested in something and he'll like have a spurt of a lot of talking and then like he'll go quiet and probably sleeping, you know.
说实话我都不确定他这样是因为性格内向，还是单纯就是懒。
Actually, I'm not even sure if it's because he's introverted or it's because he's lazy.
毕竟他这俩特质都占了。
Because he's both.
不过话说在前头，关于内向这方面的问题，我确实帮不上你什么忙。
But first of all, the introvert part, I can't really help you with.
就是有这么个情况，格蕾丝，我也说不好，你一般是怎么处理这种事的？
It's just something that like, I don't know, Grace, how do you deal with it?
你都是怎么应对的？
How do you deal with it?
毕竟你可是我这辈子见过的最内向的人之一了。
Because you're like one of the biggest introverts I've ever seen in my life.
真的吗？
Really?
是的。
Yeah.
当一个房间里有50个人，而他们都是内向者时，会发生什么？
What happens when there's a room and there's like 50 people, but they're all introverts?
大家是不是都只是安静地坐着，等着有人先开口？
Like does everyone just sit quietly and wait until somebody says the first thing?
或者内向者之间也会有相对活跃的吗？确实会有。
Or do even introverts have like relative They do.
外向者。
Extroverts.
是的。
Yeah.
我觉得，如果我和一群内向者待在一间屋子里，我会是那个主动发起话题的人。
I think I if I'm in a room with introverts, I would be the person to initiate something.
好的。
Okay.
所以对他们来说，你可能会有点外向。
So you're to them, you might be a little extroverted.
对。
Yeah.
但这么做是要冒风险的。
But it's a risk.
我就是这个意思。
That's what I'm saying.
这么做其实总有风险，因为我能理解内向的人会经历什么样的处境。
It's always a risk because, like, I can see what introverts go through.
就好比你们基本上都不敢先开口打招呼，或是不敢主动开启一段关系、一段友谊，因为你们会担心对方会做何反应，又或是怕自己说的话达不到预想的效果，对吧？
Like, you guys basically, like, are afraid to say, Hey first, or, like, initiate the relationship or the friendship because you are afraid of how the other person will react or whatever you say will just not land?
其实这些担心全都会有。
It's all of the above, really.
所有大大小小的顾虑都齐了。
Like all the fears.
天哪。
Oh my god.
所有的可能性。
All the possibilities.
作为内向者生活一定很艰难。
It must be so difficult living as an introvert.
因为外向者，我们就是，你知道的，随性而为。
Because extroverts, we just, you know, we just go with it.
我们甚至没意识到自己刚遇到一个陌生人就和人家击掌了。
We don't even know we're like high fiving someone we just just ran into.
就是完全不认识的人，对吧？
Like someone we don't know at all, right?
然后我们就活在遗憾里。
And then we just live with the regrets.
我们有很多遗憾。
Like we have a lot of regrets.
内向者可能比我们后悔的事更少，你知道吗？因为你们不像我们外向者那样频繁地制造令人后悔的情境。
Introverts, I guess, have less regrets than us, you know, because you don't expose yourself to as much risk as we do because we extroverts constantly create situations to regret.
所以，莎拉，你至少得像格蕾丝这样，有点外向。
So, Sarah, you have to be at least relatively extroverted like Grace here.
明白吗？
Okay?
你要明白，得稍微努力一下。
Understand that you need to put in a little bit of work.
这就是你应对内向部分的方式。
So that's how you handle the introvert part.
至于三十岁这部分，你得开始做点事情了，我想。
And the thirties part, you need to start like doing things, I guess.
你想想，我是在PIKKAI认识我一生的朋友的。
If you think about it, I met my lifelong friends at PIKKAI.
我认识他们的时候已经比较晚了。
I met them late.
我是在大学毕业后认识他们的。
I met them after college.
你知道，我刚毕业。
You know, I had just graduated.
我当时刚到法定饮酒和驾车的年龄。
I was, like, legal age to drink and drive.
不，不，是分开喝酒、分开开车。
No, no, like, drink separately and drive separately.
幸运的是，我根本不会开车。
Luckily, I don't even drive.
我的意思是，我认识他们的时候，应该已经超过21岁了。
What I'm saying is I was over 21 when I met them, I think.
如果我从事的工作让我根本无法融入其中，我可能很难交到朋友。
It might have been difficult for me to make friends if I was doing some kind of work where, like, I wasn't really vibing with the work.
但因为我很幸运地从事了自己热爱的工作，所以我能和同样热爱这份工作的人一起做它。
But because I was lucky enough to do something that I was passionate about, I got to do it with other people that were passionate about it as well.
所以，即使我们彼此之间没有激情，我们也常常处于拥有共同热情目标的情境中，对吧？
So even if we weren't passionate about each other, we were often in situations where we had a common passionate goal, right?
就像一种共同的东西。
Like a shared thing.
我认为这正是支撑我们度过最初五到十年的原因。
And I think that was what got us through the first like five to maybe ten years.
我们可能并没有像别人以为的，或者我们自己以为的那样亲密。
We might not have actually even been as close as people think or as we thought.
比如，我们可能根本算不上朋友。
Like we may have not been like friends.
我们可能更在意的是我们一起做的事情。
We may have been more interested in the thing that we were doing together.
我可能对其中的艺术层面充满热情。
I might have been passionate about the art aspect of it.
米特拉可能更看重其中的乐趣部分，或者把它当作一种爱好。
Mithra might have been passionate about the fun part of it or as a hobby.
图茨（Two Cuts）可能完完全全只对和钱相关的部分感兴趣。
Two Cuts might have been interested completely in the financial part.
我还得靠这帮家伙赚钱呢。
I need these motherfuckers for money.
但我想说的是，正因为我们有这份共同的热忱，哪怕我们热爱这份事业的出发点各不相同，这份纽带也让我们相伴走过了这么多年，到最后我们真的成了朋友。
But what I'm saying is because we had that shared passion, even if like we had different reasons for loving what we did, because it kept us together for so long, we eventually ended up being friends.
甚至到了哪怕有一天我们对这件共同的事都失去了热情，哪怕我们不再做音乐、不再创作、不再一起共事，我们也依旧会是朋友的地步。
To the point where even if we one day lose our passion for that common thing, even if we stop doing music or we stop creating stuff or we stop doing things together, we'll still be friends.
所以我觉得你得去找些爱好来做。
So I think you need to, like, find hobbies.
年纪越大，我觉得这大概就是很多人去打高尔夫的原因吧。
The the the older you get, I think that's probably why a lot of people golf.
说真的，所有人都在劝我去打高尔夫，但我不想去。不过我觉得他们愿意早上七八点就出门，顶着大太阳去打高尔夫，其中一个原因就是他们内心其实渴望交朋友、认识新的人。
Seriously, I I like, everyone's trying to get me to golf and I won't, but I think that one of the reasons why they go out there at like eight in the morning or seven in the morning to to golf in the sun and stuff is because they they sort of like have a longing to make like friends and meet people.
我觉得哪怕是五六十岁的人，也依然会有这种想法。
I I think that exists in people that are even in their, like, fifties and sixties.
所以我觉得你应该多接触一些爱好或新体验，也许这样会有帮助。
So I think expose yourself to more hobbies or new experiences, and maybe maybe that'll help.
就像第二个评论者汉娜说的，她在一家办公室工作，同事都比她年长。
Like the second commenter, Hannah, she said that she's at an office job with much older coworkers.
老实说，我不确定在那里能不能交到朋友。
Okay, I'm not sure if you can make friends there, I'm gonna be honest.
但如果你刚毕业，你所在的城市里还有很多和你一样刚毕业的人。
But if you're fresh out of school, there's a lot of people in the city that you're in that are also fresh out of school.
你知道‘第三空间’这个概念吗？
You know the concept of third space?
比如咖啡馆、最喜欢的面包店、餐厅、健身房、登山或攀岩。
Coffee shops or favorite bakeries or restaurants or the gym or mountain climbing or rock climbing.
就是那些既不是家、也不是工作场所的地方，对吧？
Somewhere that is not the home and that is not the workplace, right?
所以每个人都需要一个第三空间，在那里你能遇到人，找到志同道合的人。
So everybody needs a third place where you run into people, you find people with common interests.
我想这就是为什么被宣传为第三空间的咖啡馆生意这么好，因为人们并不想和同事交朋友。
I guess that's why coffee shops marketed as third places do really well because people don't want to become friends with their coworkers.
这很难。
And that's hard.
在办公室里，可能很难交到朋友。
In an office space, it's probably hard.
我的意思是，去尝试不同的事情。
What I'm saying is try different things.
这与其说是努力交朋友，不如说即使到了三十岁，你也应该更专注于尝试新事物。
Like it's less about trying to make friends, but you should be more focused on trying to do new things even when you're in your thirties.
在三十岁、四十岁和五十岁时，试着学习和体验新事物。
Try to learn and experience new things in your thirties and forties and fifties.
结果，你可能最终并不会拥有某个爱好。
And as a result, you might not end up with the hobby.
你可能坚持不下去某个爱好，但最终，你会拥有一些朋友，这正是我想说的。
You might not stick through with the hobby, but at the end of it, what you'll have is a couple of friends, is what I'm trying to say.
关于工作的话题，正如预期的那样，有很多。
There's a bunch about jobs, as expected.
我该如何弄清楚自己在职业生涯中想要做什么？
How do I figure out what I want to do in my life, career wise?
你是怎么知道音乐就是你的方向的？
How did you know that it was music for you?
因为我总感觉自己的兴趣几乎每天都在变化，我完全不知道自己这辈子想做什么。
Because I always feel like my interests are changing almost every day and I have absolutely no idea what I want to do in my life.
与此同时，我身边的所有人似乎都已经规划好了自己的整个未来。
Meanwhile, everyone around me seems to have their whole future already planned out.
来自苏格兰的爱你。
Love you from Scotland.
来自首尔的也爱你。
Love you back from Seoul.
首先，让我这么说：当你觉得身边所有人都已经搞定了人生、规划好了未来时，他们要么在撒谎，要么只是看起来如此。
First of all, let me just say, when it feels like everyone around you has everything figured out, like their whole future figured out, they're either lying or it just looks that way.
我知道这一点，因为网上有很多人以为我一切都安排好了，没有任何担忧或焦虑。
I know this because tons of people online think that I have stuff figured out, that I don't have any worries or anxiety.
我99%的时间都对自己在做什么感到非常困惑。
I am so confused about what I'm doing, like 99% of the time.
今天早上我醒来时在伸展身体，突然心里冒出一个声音：我完蛋了，我甚至不知道这念头是从哪儿冒出来的。
This morning I woke up, I was stretching and I was like, I don't even know where this voice came from, but something in my mind was like, I'm fucked.
我当时一边伸展，一边想：什么？
And I was like, As I was stretching, I was like, what?
我心想：我真的不知道自己在做什么。
I was like, I don't know what I'm doing.
我连……你有没有开始考虑过遗产规划这种事啊？
I don't I don't know what like, have you even like started like thinking about like estate planning?
我心想：遗产规划？
And I'm like, estate planning?
你这话是什么意思？
What the fuck do you mean?
然后你就会想，你懂的，随着年纪增长，你根本不知道自己身上会发生什么事。
And you're like, you know, you you like, as you get older and you don't know what's gonna happen to you.
就比如，你有没有想过，万一你不在了，要怎么照料你的家人？
Like, have you thought about like, like how, like you, how you're gonna like take care of your family after you're gone?
然后我才反应过来，哦，原来这就是遗产规划啊。
And I'm like, that's called estate planning.
我之前一直以为遗产规划是有钱人才需要做的事。
I thought like estate planning is for rich people.
然后我就纳闷了，我 stretching 的时候为啥要想这种事儿啊？
And then like, I'm like, why am I thinking about this while I'm stretching?
我一直都这样。
So I'm like that all the time.
我一直都这样。
I'm like that all the time.
所以我想告诉大家：那些看起来把一切都打理得井井有条的人，其实根本没把什么都想明白。
So let me just say people that look like they have things figured out, don't have things figured out.
我们都是凡人。
We're all mortal.
但回到刚才那个问题，我是怎么知道那是音乐的？其实我不知道。
But to get back to the question about how did I know it was music, I didn't.
我根本没想到自己最终会从事音乐。
I didn't know that what I was gonna end up doing was music.
很久以前，我出版过一本书。
Long time ago, I published a book.
那是一本短篇小说集，是我从18、19岁开始写，一直写到大学毕业，大约20到21岁期间的作品。
It was a collection of short stories that I wrote from, like, when I was 19, like, 18, 19 to, like, when I graduated from college, till when I was, like, 20 or 21.
那是一本短篇小说集。
And it was a collection of short stories.
你知道，书出版时，翻开后通常会有作者简介，而且这通常是作者自己写的，用来介绍自己。
And in in you know how with books, when you open it, there's, like, the author's description, and it's quite often written by the author, like, to introduce themselves.
我确实写过，虽然记不太清了，但我想我说过我想当作家，却意外进入了音乐行业。
And I actually said that I I can't remember totally, but I think I said that I wanted to be a writer, but I slipped into music.
我想我用了那个词。
I think I used that term.
就像我不小心跌入了音乐领域。
Like I kind of slipped and fell into music.
你知道，音乐只是我的一个爱好，甚至算不上主要的。
You know, music was just one of my hobbies, not even like the main one.
我想成为一名电影导演。
I wanted to be a film director.
我想写小说，写剧本。
I wanted to like write novels, write screenplays.
我非常确定自己将来会成为一名导演，或者从事电影创作。
And I was so so certain that I was gonna be either a director or someone creating movies.
也许这就是我如此热爱电影的原因，你知道的，也是我能猜中62.5%的奥斯卡奖项的原因，因为那才是我最初的热情所在。
And probably why I'm so, like, into film, you know, and why I can get 62.5% of all my Oscar picks right because because that was my original passion.
我对电影非常了解。
And I was really knowledgeable about film.
我甚至还当过助理导演。
I even worked as like an assistant director.
但后来发生的是，我当时在拍一部纪录片。
But what happened was I was working on this documentary movie.
说白了，我就是那个去买咖啡的人。
And I was basically like, you know, I was basically the guy who gets coffee.
不管怎样，我在片场的时候，有个投资这部电影的人——其中一个投资人——来探班，看到我戴着耳机，自言自语，就问我听的是什么。
Anyways, I was there on set and one of the guys that was investing in the movie, like one of the investors came to visit and to see what's going on and saw me, like, with my headphones on, like, kind of like mumbling to myself and wanted to know what I was listening to.
我给他听了我正在听的东西。
I played him, like, what I was listening to.
我当时其实正在听我自己创作的一首歌。
I was actually listening to one of the songs I made.
他听了之后。
He heard it.
结果发现他很有钱，因为他拥有韩国一家大型唱片公司，所以他才投资这部电影。
Turns out he had all this money because he owned a huge record label in Korea, And that's how he was investing in the movie.
所以他想让我当音乐人，但我拒绝了，因为那时我还在上学。
So he wanted me to, like, become a musician, and I said no because I was still in school.
我根本没有任何想成为音乐人或艺人的想法。
And I had no desire to become, like, a musician or an entertainer at all.
所以我拒绝了。
So I said no.
但几年后，当我对音乐这个爱好变得更加热衷时，我想起了他。
But a few years later, when my hobby, like music hobby, became something that I was a little more passionate about, I remembered him.
通过他，我开始在这里结识一些人。
And through that, I took my first steps into like meeting people here.
所以我几乎是不知不觉地进入了这个行业。
So I literally just slipped into it, kind of.
这一切都纯属偶然。
It was like all by chance.
但我也已经做好了准备。
But also I was ready though.
你知道吗，如果我不是因为热爱音乐而创作，那我还会做吗？
You know, if I wasn't making music for no other reason but, you know, I'm passionate about it, right?
当时我根本不是为了赚钱才做这些音乐的。
Like, wasn't being paid to make this music.
那时候，我们还没有SoundCloud之类的平台。
And at the time, like, we didn't have SoundCloud and stuff.
所以我做的歌，根本没人听。
So the songs I made, like, no one listened to it.
可能只有校园里的一些人，或者我发给的二十个朋友会听一下。
Maybe some people on campus, maybe like 20 friends that I, you know, passed it around to.
但我依然努力工作，因为我喜欢做这件事。
But I was working hard regardless because I like doing it.
当我准备好时，机遇就来了——当时有个唱片公司的人在投资我当时做最底层工作的那部电影，我正好在对的时间出现在对的地方，因为我一直在做正确的事，对吧？
And because I was ready when when, you know, serendipity happened, when someone with a record label was investing in the movie that I was working as like the lowest on the rung at, I was in the right place at the right time because I was doing the right things, that I was ready, right?
所以当事情发生时，你自然就明白了。
So you figure it out when it happens.
别总纠结于这件事是否适合你，或者是否存在一个所谓的‘正确选择’，而是去做那些当下让你感到有价值的事，让你觉得自己有所贡献。
Stop focusing on like whether or not this is the right thing for you or whether or not there is a right thing for you and do what right now in the moment makes you feel valuable, Like makes you feel like you have something to contribute.
或者，这只是一些你痴迷的、想要解开的谜题。
Like, or it's just something, some kind of puzzle that you're obsessed with that you want.
有些人成了魔方速拧大师。
Like some people become master Rubik's cube competitors.
他们是怎么走到这一步的？
How did they end up there?
他们四岁的时候，老师问：‘你们长大后想做什么？’
They weren't like four and their teacher's like, What do you guys want to be when you grow up?
‘我想成为魔方世界冠军。’
I want to be the Rubik's Cube world champion.
我不认为真的有人会这么回答。
I don't think anybody really does that.
他们只是单纯喜欢做这件事，于是不断坚持，最终打破了世界纪录。
It's just something that they like doing, so they kept doing it and then eventually they have the world record.
所以我想说的是，别试图去弄明白。
So what I'm saying is, don't try to figure it out.
这根本没法想明白。
It's not figureoutable.
当我站在舞台上表演时，我有没有想过自己会成为YouTuber和播客主持人？
And did I know that I would become a YouTuber and a podcaster when I was wrapping my ass off on stage?
不，我们的粉丝根本没预料到这一点。
No, none of our fans even expected this.
但你知道，事情就这么发生了。
But you know, it just sort of happened.
这只是我们想做的事，感觉我们的团队也会觉得有趣，于是我们就做了，而且团队确实玩得很开心。
It's just something we wanted to do and it felt like something that our team would have fun doing and we did it and our team was having fun.
然后其他人也觉得有趣，喜欢上了，于是它逐渐发展成这样，开辟了新的道路。
And then other people found it fun and then people liked it and then it grew into this thing and created new paths.
你会给一个四十岁重新开始人生的人什么建议？
What advice would you give someone that is starting life over in their forties?
哦，等一下。
Oh, hold on.
给我一秒钟。
Give me one second.
我其实把这写下来了。
I actually have this written down.
塞缪尔·L。
Samuel L.
杰克逊，漫威宇宙里的尼克·弗瑞，那个领导者，明白吗？
Jackson, Nick Fury of the Marvel Universe, the leader, okay?
他直到45岁才家喻户晓。
He didn't become a household name until he was 45.
他在《低俗小说》中的突破性演出是在45岁。
His breakout performance in Pulp Fiction was 45.
薇拉·王，那个人人都想要的婚纱，对吧？
Vera Wang, the wedding dress that everybody wants, right?
在进入时尚行业之前，她是一名花样滑冰运动员，也是《Vogue》的记者。
Before entering the fashion industry, she was a figure skater and a journalist at Vogue.
她直到40岁才开设了婚纱精品店。
She didn't open the bridal boutique until she was 40.
托妮·莫里森，诺贝尔文学奖得主，直到39岁才出版了第一本小说。
Toni Morrison, Nobel Prize winning author, didn't publish the first novel until 39.
明白吗？
Okay?
所以都是在四十多岁才取得成功。
So didn't find success until the forties.
斯坦·李43岁的时候。
Stan Lee was 43.
那时漫画还根本不算什么热门行业，他只是一个挣扎中的漫画作家。
He was a struggling comic writer at a time when comics weren't even a big thing.
43岁时取得了成功。
Achieved success at 43.
如果你去查一下，会发现有更多人在四十几岁、五十几岁，甚至六十几岁才取得成功，对吧？
Like, there's way more people if you look it up that found success in their forties, fifties, some even in their sixties, right?
很多人在这个阶段转行。
A lot of people pivot.
红牛的创始人，我记得他直到四十多岁还在一家公司上班。
The founder of Red Bull, I believe he was just working at some company until he was like in his forties.
他被公司派去出差，大概是去泰国吧，但他根本不喜欢那份工作，可就在那里，他发现了一种饮料。
He was sent on like a work trip to, I think Thailand, from his company that he didn't even enjoy the work, but he went there and then he discovered a drink.
他想，如果我们把它做成碳酸饮料并在全球销售，我觉得在西方市场应该会成功。
And he was like, If we make this carbonated and sell it globally, like, I think this will work in the West.
他在四十多岁时成了红牛的创始人。
He became the Red Bull guy, like, in his forties.
所以很多人都在这个年纪转行。
So a lot of people pivot around this age.
我听说，亿万富翁、企业家或千万富翁们实现转型的平均年龄，通常在四十多岁到五十岁出头。
I heard the average age of billionaires or entrepreneurs or multimillionaires, the age that they pivot at is some sometime in their forties or early fifties.
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所以说，你完全可以在四十多岁的时候重启人生，而且这实际上就是重启人生的最佳时机。
So yes, you can definitely start life over in your 40s and it's actually the best time to do so.
我就是在四十多岁的时候重启了自己的人生。
I started my life over again in my 40s.
我成为了一名YouTube创作者和播客主。
I became a YouTuber and podcaster.
而且我三十多岁的时候也重启过一次人生。
But I also started my life over again in my thirties.
我曾经在韩国是一名非常成功的音乐人，但在我30岁那年，我的事业彻底被一群仇视我的人毁掉了。
I was a very successful musician here in Korea and when I hit 30, I had my career completely destroyed by people who just hated me.
于是我不得不从头开始重建我的整个事业，而且我做到了。
So I had to restart my entire career, and I did it.
现在还有不少文章评价说，Epikai正处在事业的黄金时期。
And right now, there's articles saying like, Epikai is at their prime right now.
你懂的，就是迎来了又一个巅峰期，对吧？
They're having another, you know, which is like prime, right?
但这种情况通常发生在我们四十几岁的时候。
But this is like happening in our mid forties.
我敢保证，凭着我这份热情，我在五十岁、六十岁、七十岁和八十岁时都会再次迎来巅峰。
And I guarantee you with the amount of passion I have, I will have a resurgence again in my fifties and in my sixties and in my seventies and eighties.
这些都无关紧要。
Like, none of that will matter.
年龄根本无关紧要。
Like, the age won't matter.
所以，适时调整方向，去做你此刻觉得生命真正需要的事情，完全没问题。
So it's okay to pivot and just do what you feel like is what your life needs right now.
别总想着，‘我都四十岁了。’
Like, don't think about like, oh, I'm 40.
别去想这些。
Don't think about that.
你随时都可以重新开始。
You can always start over again.
嘿，Tablo，你有没有因为选择学习人文学科而不是一些看似实用的领域而感到过不安？
Hey, Tablo, did you ever insecure about choosing to study the humanities instead of something that's visibly useful?
我们有一整集专门讲这个话题。
We have an entire episode dedicated to that.
好的。
Okay.
去我们的YouTube频道或者播客页面，你会看到一集标题为‘科技男，小心了’的节目。
Go to our YouTube channel or go on our podcast page and you will see an episode saying, Tech bros, watch out.
人文学科帮派来找你们了。
The Humanities Gang is coming for you.
标题已经说明一切了。
The title says it all.
去听听那一集吧。
Just go listen to that episode.
这一集讲的就是我有多没用，以及这个房间里所有人都学了完全没用的东西。
It is literally about how unuseful I am and how everyone in this room also studied something that is completely useless.
我们这些人所学的专业，位列最令人后悔的十大专业或领域之中。
We here are in the top 10 most regretted majors or fields of study.
但我们过得还不错，因为讽刺的是，我们曾经学习并热爱的那些无用东西，在2026年变得有用起来了。
But we turned out fine because ironically, the useless things we learned and were passionate about became useful in 2026.
是的。
Mhmm.
故事、内容、娱乐——人类让人类发笑，人类犯错却让错误变得有趣，这些变得有价值了。
Stories, content, entertainment, like humans making humans laugh, and humans making mistakes but making it entertaining became something of value.
随着机器越来越多地接管一切，我相信我们这些无用的、糟糕的专业将会变得有价值。
And more and more as the machines take over, I believe our useless, shitty majors or fields of study will become valuable.
所以去观看那一集吧。
So go watch that episode.
我不是说工程或STEM领域没有用。
I'm not saying engineering or STEM is useless.
各位，我们需要你们。
You guys, we need you.
我们需要你们来维系我们的生存。
We need you to keep us alive.
我们需要你们来攻克各类疾病。
We need you to cure diseases.
我们需要你们来击退病毒这类威胁。
We need you to defeat the viruses and stuff.
抱歉啊，我刚才说得跟个傻瓜似的。
I'm sorry, I'm talking like an idiot.
我不是理工科领域的人。
I'm not a STEM person.
该怎么克服冒名顶替综合征呢？
How to get over imposter syndrome?
也有很多人给我发私信问过这类问题。
A lot of people DM me this stuff too.
冒名顶替综合征似乎是所有人都会遇到的问题。
Imposter syndrome seems to be something that everyone deals with.
我是个艺术家，经常觉得自己不配拥有取得的任何成功，或者觉得自己的艺术作品不够好。
I am an artist and I often struggle with feeling like I deserve none of the success I've gotten or that my art is up to par.
你是怎么应对这种情况的？
How do you go about dealing with it?
人们评论说：‘我喜欢这个话题。’
And people commented, Oh, I like this topic.
我也需要这方面的建议。
I need advice on this too.
我刚开始一份全职的成年工作，确实感受到了冒名顶替综合症。
I've just started a full time adult job and I'm definitely feeling imposter syndrome.
别人都很忙，我都不敢开口向任何人求助。
And everyone else is so busy, I'm too hesitant to ask anyone for help.
所以冒名顶替综合症就像是觉得自己是个骗子，觉得自己不属于这里，心想：我为什么在这儿？
So imposter syndrome is like feeling like I'm a fraud, feeling like I don't belong here, feeling like, Why am I here?
这是运气好吗？
Like, is it luck?
这种荒诞的感觉正在阻碍他们继续前进，对吧？
Like, this surreal feeling is getting in the way of them like proceeding, right?
让我这么说吧，如果以我为例，所谓‘成功’的人也会有这种感觉。
Let me just say, if I'm any indication, quote unquote successful people feel this too.
他们也会有这种感觉。
They feel this too.
也许甚至更强烈。
Maybe even more.
我记得我第一首热门歌曲问世的时候，就是我们的歌《Fly》发布的时候。
I remember when I first had a hit song, like when our song Fly came out.
你知道吗，当我在我房间里写那首歌的时候，根本没想到会有人听，更别说这么多人了。
You know, when I wrote that song in my room, like, I had no idea how many people would listen to it.
当时真的只有我和一台笔记本电脑。
It was literally me and a laptop.
除了我之外，没人听过我创作的东西。
And nobody other than me was hearing what I was creating.
所以我根本无法知道它会不会成功。
So there was no way for me to even know if it was gonna do well.
我不知道它是不是很烂，还是怎么样，我真的完全没概念。
I didn't know if it was crappy or if it was like, I just had no idea.
只是把它做出来了。
Just made it.
比如开头那段，Kim、Du、Joe，我不知道听起来是不是很土，或者很蠢，我真的不知道。
Like the first part like, Kim, Du, Joe, like, I didn't know if it sounded corny or like stupid, like I didn't know.
它发布了。
It came out.
这首歌取得了巨大的成功。
The song was a massive success.
那年它被用在了游戏《FIFA》里。
It was used by that game FIFA that year.
它成为了原声音乐的一部分。
Like it was part of the soundtrack.
它变成了一件全球性的事情。
It became like a global thing.
当这种情况发生时，人们以为你经历了漫长的奋斗，然后一举成功，感觉特别好，还会庆祝、开香槟。
And when that happened, like people think that like you have a long come up and then you make it and it just feels good and you're like celebrating and like popping champagne.
不，我当时就说：这到底怎么回事？
No, I was like, I said, What the hell is going on?
这不可能是真的。
Like this can't be real.
这种感觉很奇怪。
This feels weird.
我不知道该怎么跟上这种节奏。
I don't know how to keep up with this.
我觉得这纯粹是巧合。
Like I feel like this was a fluke.
所以下一次，当你再次轮到我创作下一张专辑时，我就想：我不知道我是怎么做到的。
So when the next, you know, when I was up at bat next and I had to make the next album, I was like, I don't know I don't know how I did it.
我真的没办法重现我之前做的东西。
Like, I I I can't I can't recreate, what I did.
我真的不知道我是怎么做出一首热门歌曲的。
I really don't know how I made a hit song.
那一定是运气好。
It must have been like luck.
那一定只是个偶然。
It must have been a fluke.
我为此拼命折磨自己。
And I was killing myself over it.
这就是为什么下一张专辑拖了这么久才发布。
That's why it took so long to drop the next album.
但下一张专辑里有《Love Love Love》。
But the next album had Love Love Love on it.
里面还有《Fan》。
It had Fan on it.
而那张之后的专辑里有《雨伞》，还有《ONE》。
And the album after that had Umbrella on it, had ONE on it.
这些歌都成了更大的热门歌曲。
All those songs were even bigger hits.
我发誓，每次我们达到一个新的成功层次或进入下一个阶段时，我都对自己的定位感到不确定。
And I swear every single time as we reached a different level of success or the next stage, every time I was unsure about my footing.
我当时想：这到底是怎么回事？
I was like, What is going on?
这就像《楚门的世界》吗？
Is this like Truman Show?
人们是在假装吗？
Are people pretending?
我会不会突然醒过来？
Am I gonna wake up?
这就像一场梦，或者经常我觉得，你知道，我不是我自己。
It was like a dream or like, quite often I felt like, you know, I wasn't me.
但要给出这方面的建议很难，因为这么多人正面临这个问题。
But to dare give advice on this, because so many people are dealing with it, like it's hard to give advice.
但如果你正在工作中、在职场中，或在任何地方，无论你是运动员还是做什么，如果你现在正在听，并且觉得自己不配拥有目前的职位，不配拥有任何成功或努力的成果，觉得自己只是运气好，是个偶然，很快就会因为别人发现你其实一无所知、毫无头绪而失去立足之地。
But if you are in your job or in your workplace or somewhere or if you're an athlete, whatever you do, like if you're listening right now and you feel like you don't deserve the position you are currently holding or you don't deserve any of the success or any of the fruits of your work right now and you just feel like you lucked out or you're a fluke and you're gonna lose your footing soon when people realize that you don't have it together, that you have no idea what you're doing.
如果这种恐惧让你在迈出下一步时犹豫不决。
And if that fear is like making you hesitant about taking the next step.
让我告诉你，你必须重新调整你的思维方式。
Let me just say, you have to reframe your thinking.
你必须停止担心别人是否觉得你游刃有余。
You have to stop worrying about whether or not other people see you as having it together.
你必须停止思考自己看起来是否掌控全局、是否显得胸有成竹。
You have to stop thinking about whether or not you look like you're in control or you look like you know what you're doing.
你只需要想：今天我能做些什么来帮助别人吗？
You have to only think about, Can I do something today that helps someone?
或者，今天我能做点比昨天更好的事吗？
Or Can I do something today that's a little better than yesterday?
我今天能做点什么让自己充满热情、感到自豪的事吗？
Can I do something today that, you know, I can be passionate about, that I can be proud about?
只去想这一点。
Only think about that.
我认为，这正是Epik High或者我个人，比如Tablo，二十年后还能继续走下去的唯一原因——因为我几乎从不关心别人是否认为我成功、是否认为我懂得自己在做什么、是否认为我擅长我所做的事情。
I think that is the only reason why Epik High or me personally like Tablo, I think the only reason why twenty years later I can keep going is because I literally rarely, rarely, like I don't care about whether or not people think I'm successful or people think I know what I'm doing or people think I'm good at what I'm doing.
我不在乎。
I don't care.
说实话，别人也不在乎。
And to be honest, they don't care.
根本没人真正关心你在做什么。
Nobody really cares about what you're doing.
他们都在忙自己的事。
They're all busy with their own thing.
即使当你获奖了，或者成为当下最热门的人物，感觉所有人都在关注你时，其实他们并没有。
Like even when you're winning an award or you're the it person of the moment and everyone it feels like everyone cares, they don't.
他们根本不在乎你。
They don't care about you.
他们有自己的事情要操心。
They have their own things to worry about.
所以别再想那些了，你只需要做今天这件事，因为你喜欢做它。
So stop thinking about that and just you just have to like you just have to do the thing today because you like doing it.
因为你觉得你能提供帮助。
Because it's like because you feel like you can help.
为了让你更容易理解，如果你像这位评论者一样在一份工作中，或者在一个小组项目里，就试着只关注我能做什么，我能做哪些微小的事情来帮助我们目前正在做的这个项目？
So to make that even easier to understand, if you're at a job like this person who commented, if you're in a part of a group project, just try to only focus on what can I do, what little can I do, like tiny thing can I do to help this project we're working on right now?
不管我是否因此得到认可，不管我看起来是好是坏，都别去想这些，只管想：这个项目需要什么？
And regardless of whether or not I get recognized for it, regardless of whether or not, you know, I look good or I, you know, I look bad, don't think about any of that and just be like, Okay, this project needs what?
好吧，我能做些什么？
Okay, what can I do?
好吧，即使只是我去那边帮那个人打印400页纸，也去做吧。
Okay, even if it's me just, you know, going over there and printing 400 pages for this guy, do it.
尽管去做就好。
Just do it.
专注在这件事上就够了。
Just focus on that.
久而久之，大家慢慢也会注意到你一直以来的付出。
And eventually people will also recognize slowly what you've been doing.
不过说实话，我也一直都被冒充者综合征困扰着。
But I'm just saying, I go through imposter syndrome all the time.
跟你们说啊，我那时候还在伸懒腰呢
I told you, I was like stretching.
结果我脑子里瞬间就冒出来一个念头：你完蛋了
And in my mind, I was like, You're fucked.
啥？
What?
我完蛋了？
I'm fucked?
Tablo叔叔。
Uncle Tablo.
我该如何停止对每一个小决定、大大小小的决定都过度思考？
How do I stop overthinking every little decision I make, big and small?
有时候，过度思考真的让我忽略了重要的事情，我完全不知道该如何让自己的大脑安静下来，即使是对小事，尤其是对大事。
Sometimes overthinking genuinely makes me lose sight of important things and I genuinely have no clue how to stop my brain from being so active when it comes to even small things but especially big things.
哇。
Wow.
这种情况真是高度自我反思。
Very meta, this situation.
你现在就在过度思考。
You're overthinking right now.
你正在对过度思考这件事本身进行过度思考。
You're overthinking about overthinking right now.
明白了吗？
Okay?
这就是过度思考者常做的事。
And that's what overthinkers tend to do.
我也是一个过度思考者。
And I am an overthinker as well.
有一些方法对我有帮助。
And a few things help me.
我总是对太多不同的事情、出于太多不同的原因想得太多，而大多数时候这些思考都是无用的。
I think too much about too many different things for too many different reasons, and most of the time it's useless.
帮助我的第一个方法是意识到，担忧事情完全是浪费时间。
And I think what helped me was first one, realizing that worrying about stuff is a total waste of time.
原因是，你担心的90%到99%甚至100%的事情实际上都不会发生。
The reason is 90% to maybe 99% to 100% of your worries actually won't come true.
我的意思是，你可能担心A，但实际发生的是B。
What I mean by that is you might be worried about A, but B will happen.
你可能担心A和B，但实际发生的是C。
You might be worried about A and B, C will happen.
或者有时候这些事一样都不会发生，你知道的，接下来两年都会一路顺遂。
Or sometimes none of those things will happen and, you know, it'll be like clear paths for like two years.
所以你花在担忧上的时间，其实是在提前经历你试图避免的、害怕的负面事情。
So the time you spend worrying, you're actually experiencing the negative thing that you're trying to avoid and that you're afraid of in advance.
为什么？
Why?
你太担心它会发生，你不希望它发生，你害怕它，你想逃避它，那为什么还要把它提前拉出来，毫无理由地去经历它呢？
You're so worried that it'll happen, you don't want it to happen, you're scared of it, you're trying to run from it, then why are you bringing it forward and experiencing it for no reason?
它不会发生的。
It's not gonna happen.
如果我对过度思考者这么说，他们会说：但如果它真的发生了呢？
And if I say this to overthinkers, they'll say, But what if it happens?
做好准备不是更好吗？
It's better to be prepared, no?
不，不是的。
No, it's not.
因为过度思考并不能让你做好准备。
Because overthinking is not preparing you.
你需要认真思考现实情况。
You need to like think about the reality of it.
你需要关注当下。
You need to look at the present.
你其实可以主动解决问题。
You can actually actively fix things.
你可以走出去，做一些具体的事情。
You can actually go out there and do certain things.
坐着担忧根本解决不了任何问题。
Sitting and worrying about it is not gonna fix anything.
如果你忙于解决问题，就没时间担忧了。
If you're busy fixing, you don't have time to worry.
讽刺的是，这才是真正会发生的事。
Ironically, that's what will happen.
所以这是我意识到的一件事。
So that's one thing I realized.
我当时想，你知道的，佩帕，你得明白，我经历了很多创伤。
I was like, you know, like, Pepa, you have to understand, I have a lot of trauma.
你去搜搜我吧。
Just Google me.
我的意思是，我经历的那些事，从A到Z，全都发生过。
I mean, all the shit I went through, like, A, C to Z, all of these things happen.
所以在经历了那些人类不该经历的事情之后，我很容易焦虑、过度担忧，幻想并创造出根本不存在的东西，只为能继续担心，对吧？
So after I experienced, like, things that no human should experience, it was very easy for me to worry and over worry and like and imagine and like create things that don't even exist so that I can worry, right?
然后我就可以所谓的‘做好准备’，但实际上我只是在折磨自己、摧残自己，对吧？
And so that I can like quote unquote prepare, but while I'm actually just tormenting myself and torturing myself, right?
所以我意识到，这占用了我陪伴家人的时间，夺走了我和亲人创造美好回忆的机会。
So I realized that that is taking time away from my family, taking time away from like creating good memories with my loved ones.
于是我开始训练自己。
So I just trained myself.
我每天都坚持练习。
I worked at it every day.
每当开始担心某件事时，我就告诉自己：这大概不会发生。
Was like, if I start worrying about something, I'm like, okay, this is probably not gonna happen.
这件事发生的可能性可能只有20%左右。
The likelihood of this happening is maybe like maybe 20%.
但为了这20%的可能性，我却要现在就承受100%的痛苦。
And for that 20%, I'm gonna experience 100% of the torment right now.
这太蠢了。
That's so stupid.
我看着镜子里的自己，问：你是不是傻？
And I look in the mirror, I'm like, Are you stupid?
对吧？
Right?
所以我觉得这还挺有帮助的。
So I think that kinda helped.
第二件真正有帮助的事是，你需要一些能让你别过度思考的朋友。
And the second thing that really helped is you need friends who stop you from overthinking.
你需要一些极其简单直率的朋友，让你的思考方式显得很奇怪。
Like you need friends who are so basic that it makes you look weird for thinking at all.
不是过度思考，就是普通的思考。
Like, not even overthinking.
你需要那些让你觉得自己想太多很蠢的朋友。
Yet you need friends that make you feel like an idiot for thinking.
比如，在我们的YouTube节目《Epikaze》中，我们去好市多，因为我们打算用一个户外火炉，就是那种户外烤炉。
For example, on our YouTube show Epikaze, we went to Costco because we were gonna use this fire stove oven, like the outdoor what is that?
就是那种户外火炉。
Fire the outdoor oven kind of thing.
我们需要木柴。
And we needed logs.
我们需要燃木。
We needed fire logs.
我们去买了一些看起来不太对劲的木柴。
And took us went and got these logs that didn't look right to me.
你可以在节目里看到这一点。
And it's you can see it in the episode.
这些木柴甚至都没被砍整齐。
Like, it wasn't even cut out.
我说：你们确定能用这些吗？
I say, are the are you sure we can use these?
你们确定能用吗？我们不需要真正的木头原木吗？
Are you sure we can use don't we need, like, actual wooden, like, logs?
我不确定我们能不能用这些。
Like, I'm not sure we can use these.
大家都说：不用，不用，这些能用。
And everyone was like, no, no, we can use them.
没问题的。
It's fine.
没关系。
It's fine.
他们说，哦，这个管用。
They're like, oh, it works.
连我们的制片人都说这样没问题。
This is the and even our our producer here said it was fine.
好吧？
Okay?
我们说，好吧。
We're like, okay.
于是我们就过去。
So we go over there.
把所有东西都塞进去。
Toucats and shoves it all in there.
然后点火烧了。
Fucking lights it on fire.
直接烧成火海了。
Inferno.
懂吧？
Okay?
那场景简直就跟火山喷发一样。
It was basically a volcano.
那火势烧得特别彻底。
It was like, it was complete.
那全程我都在纳闷，然后米特拉和图卡斯走出来，盯着那堆东西，还反问：‘这怎么会烧起来啊？’
And the whole time I'm like, and then Mithra and Tukas come out and they're looking at it and they're like, How could this happen?
他们还说：‘到底哪里出问题了？’
They're like, What went wrong?
我当时就在心里吐槽，我都把这事说过三遍了好吗。
And I'm like, I said it like three times.
有意思的是，到头来反倒显得我像个傻子。
Interestingly enough, I was made to look like an idiot.
因为我说过，这会发生。
Because I was like, I told you this would happen.
那我们现在该怎么办？
Like, what are we gonna do now?
我们应该……他们真的说，不，我们就等着火灭了。
We shoulda They're like, They literally said, No, we'll just wait until the fire goes out.
我说，那得等五个钟头呢。
And I'm like, That's gonna take like five hours.
他们说，那我们就等五个钟头。
They're like, Then we'll wait five hours.
我看起来像个较真的人。
I looked like the anal one.
然后我想，也许我过度思考真是个傻瓜。
And then I was like, Maybe I'm an idiot for overthinking.
过度思考有什么意义？
What's the point of overthinking?
哦，对了，我们是安全的。
Oh, by the way, we we were safe.
我们把一切都解决了。
Like, we we we sorted it all out.
幸运的是，火是在砖砌的炉子里。
Luckily, the fire was in a brick oven.
所以火很快就灭了。
So it went out pretty quickly.
周围没有任何东西会着火，因为我把所有东西都清理干净了，才放的木柴。
There was nothing nearby that would get on fire because I cleared it all before we we put the logs in.
明白吗？
Okay?
因为我总是想太多。
Because I was overthinking.
所以我想说的是，想太多并不是坏事，但要是只有想太多的人，那就不好了。
So I'm just saying, okay, let me just say, being an overthinker is not a bad thing, but only having overthinkers is a bad thing.
我觉得你需要一个爱过度思考的人，同时还需要一个稍微有点粗心的朋友，和一个完全不想事的朋友。
I think you need an overthinker and you need to balance it out with with a friend that, you know, does a little bit of underthinking and a friend that does no thinking.
如果你有这样一组三人组合，你就会很安全。
And if you have a trio like that, you will you will be safe.
比如，过度思考者会规划出一百件根本不需要规划或担心的事情，而粗心的朋友则会说，哎呀，谁在乎呢？
Like, everything like, the overthinker will plan out, like, a 100 things that don't need to be planned out or worried about, and then the underthinker will, like, be like, oh, you know, who cares?
而那个完全不想事的人呢，就只是在睡觉。
And then the other thinker will just the non thinker will just be sleeping.
所以，事情总归会顺利解决的。
So like, it'll all work out somehow.
你只需要有一群搭配得当的朋友。
You just need, you know, a good blend of friends.
再讲一个。
Here's another one.
这是韩语的，所以我用韩语读出来。
It's in Korean, so I'll read it in Korean.
她和一位英国男友有着认真的恋爱关系。
So she's in a serious relationship with a British boyfriend.
她三十多岁了。
She's in her thirties.
不禁会想到婚姻。
Can't help but think about marriage.
她知道这看起来有点遥远，但想知道如何让孩子同时流利掌握英语和韩语。
She knows that it's looking a bit far into the future, but wants to know like how to make your child like bilingual in both English and Korean, like fluent in both.
表罗叔叔叫我Tajoshi，就是Tableau和Ajoshi的组合。
Uncle Tablo she called me a Tajoshi, like Tableau and Ajoshi Tajoshi.
你是怎么考虑到这一点来教Haru语言的？
How did you go about teaching Haru languages with that in mind?
好的。
Okay.
还有另一个。
And there's another one.
你和Haru的关系感觉非常亲密和真实。
Your relationship with Haru feels really close and genuine.
有时候看起来更像一段非常深厚的友谊。
Sometimes it looks more like a really strong friendship.
你是如何逐渐培养这种关系的？对于有女儿的新父母，你有什么建议？
How did you nurture that over time, and what advice would you give to new parents of daughters?
关于双语的问题，如果你的男朋友说英语，而你像我看到的那样流利地讲韩语，你的孩子在双语方面不会有任何问题。
For the bilingual thing, I mean, if if your boyfriend speaks English and you speak Korean fluently as I I can see, your child will have no problem being bilingual.
但你得稍微平衡一下。
But you kinda have to balance it out.
比如，我妻子完全用韩语和她交流，而我经常用英语和Haru说话。
Like, my wife speaks to in Korean, like completely in Korean, and I speak to Haru in English, like quite often.
我们会来回切换，但并没有一开始就这么做。
We'll go back and forth, but we didn't start that like right away.
如果你看过我的节目，比如《超人回来了》，一开始有个场景是我用英语和Haru说话，而那时她一句英语都不会说。
Like if you watched me, like my show, like the Return of Superman, like at first there was a scene where like I spoke English to Haru and Haru was like, And she didn't speak a word of English at the time.
所以我们开始得很晚。
So we started really late.
我等到她愿意接受我用英语和她说话的时候才开始。
Like I waited until she was open to the idea of me speaking English to her.
但一旦发生这种情况，她学得特别快，就像所有孩子一样，孩子们学语言非常快。
But once that happened, she picked it up super fast, as all kids do, kids pick up languages extremely fast.
所以如果你想让孩子双语，就各自承担不同的角色，和她说话，你的孩子自然就会学会。
So if you want them to be bilingual, just take different roles and speak to her and your kid will pick it up.
别担心。
Don't worry.
真的，别担心。
Seriously, don't worry.
关于我和哈鲁的关系感觉非常亲密真诚，以及我是如何培养的，我不知道。
About my relationship with Haru feeling very close and genuine and how I nurtured it, I don't know.
我真的不知道我是怎么做到的。
I don't really know how I did it.
但让我这么说吧，我们真的是朋友。
But let me just say like we really are friends.
不是那种表面上的朋友，我们就是真正的朋友。
Like it's not like we're like friends, we are friends.
我只是恰好是她的爸爸。
I just happen to be her dad.
但她真的把我当朋友，她经常不和朋友出去玩，而是想和我待在一起。
But she really considers me like a friend and she will quite often just like not hang out with her friends because she wants to hang out with me.
我会问她，比如我会说：你不想和朋友出去玩吗？
And I'll ask her like, I'll be like, you you don't want to hang out with your friends?
都周末了。
Like it's the weekend.
她会说：因为更有趣。
And she'll say like, well, it's more fun.
和你爸爸待在一起。
Like, hanging out with your dad.
所以我非常感激，天啊。
So I appreciate that so much and just oh my god.
她让我感到无比快乐。
She makes me so happy.
但我只是想说，好吧，父母很难分清区别，但作为父母，你需要知道孩子什么时候需要一个父亲，什么时候需要一个朋友。
But all I'm saying is, okay, it's hard for parents to know the difference, but like, as a parent, you need to know when your kid needs a dad and when your kid needs a friend.
不幸的是，我们这一代的父母，就像我们的父母那样，并不了解这种区别。
And unfortunately, the parents of my generation, like our parents, they didn't know the difference.
他们其实并不在乎是否了解这种区别。
Like, they didn't really care to know the difference.
他们只是默认你从来不需要一个朋友。
They just assumed that you never needed a friend.
你只需要一个父母，而且还是一个强势的父母，对吧？来告诉你该做什么，以及你不做时惩罚你。
You only needed a parent, and a strong parent too, right, To tell you what to do and to punish you when you don't do it.
但我觉得，因为我就是这样长大的，所以我从未想过，也从未期待自己会成为父亲。
But I think because I grew up like that, I never knew I never expected to become a dad.
我十几岁或者二十几岁的时候，从来都没想过，你懂的，我完全没料到自己会这么早结婚生子，更没想到我会当一个女儿的爸爸。
Like I didn't ever like when I was like, you know, a teenager or in my twenties, I didn't know I was gonna get married so early and have a kid or that I was gonna be like a girl dad.
这些我当时都没预料到，但我心里一直清楚，如果我当上了父母，我一定要努力成为那个我当年真正需要的父亲、真正需要的家长。
I didn't know that, but I always knew in my heart that like, if I ever become a parent, I'm gonna try to be the dad I needed, like the parent I actually needed.
所以当我真的当爸爸之后，我好像本能地就知道什么时候小春日和（Haru）需要一个能交心的朋友，什么时候她需要一个站出来告诉她‘小春日和，这样不对’的父亲。
So when I became like a dad, I think I just sort of instinctively knew when Haru, like, at certain moments when Haru needs a friend and at certain moments when Haru needs, like, a dad to, like, say, Hey, Haru, this is wrong.
或者是告诉她‘这件事对你没好处’。
Or, like, This is not good for you.
就是说，你得考虑考虑能不能这么做，懂吧？
Like, you need to consider maybe doing this, right?
有时候哪怕她可能需要一句严厉的提醒，我也能从她脸上看出来，此刻她需要的是一个能倾诉的朋友。
And at times where even though she might need like a stern warning, I just see in her face that right now she needs a friend.
就比如说现在，她只是需要有人认真听她把话说完。
Like right now she just needs someone to hear her out.
别先急着分对错，就让她把所有想说的话都说出来，好好发泄一通、哭一场，接着给她一个拥抱，再逗她笑出来就好。
Right or wrong, just let her, like, say all that she needs to say and just vent and cry and just just hug her and then like make her laugh.
对吧？
Right?
所以我特别能分辨出她什么时候需要什么。
So I I just I'm good at seeing seeing seeing when she needs what.
我觉得孩子会 appreciate 这一点。
And I think kids appreciate that.
我觉得这就是为什么我们关系这么好。
So I think that's why we're really good friends.
如果你小时候希望父母能更像这样或那样，或者看到朋友的父母时，有时你觉得自己这样想很糟糕，但确实希望自己的父母能像他们一样。
If you grew up wishing your parents were more like this or more like that, or you looked at friends' parents and sometimes, you know, you felt like a bad person for thinking it, but sometimes you wished that your parents were like them, more like your friends' parents.
如果你有过这样的时刻，轮到你当父母时，就做那样的人吧。
If you had moments like that, just be that parent to somebody, like, when it's your turn.
这基本上就是我所做的。
That's that's basically what I did.
也许这会有帮助。
May maybe that'll help.
也许不会，但我也不确定。
Maybe it won't, but I don't know.
这对我似乎挺管用的。
That seems to be working for me.
不管怎样，我做这个的时候吃了四块鸡肉。
Anyways, I ate four pieces of chicken as I was doing this.
边做播客边吃东西是个糟糕的主意，因为你根本没法好好吃。
This is a terrible idea to eat while you do podcasts because you're not gonna be able to eat.
好吧。
Okay.
我现在去吃饭了。
I'm gonna go eat now.
嘿，Tablo 下周也会来。
Hey, Tablo is gonna be here next week too.
所以如果你打算加入我们，并且希望这个能持续下去，请去评分、评论、给星星，并点击这里的支持按钮。
So if you are gonna join us and if you want this to last, please go rate, review, give it stars, and hit the hype button here.
分享给你的朋友。
Share with your friends.
谢谢。
Thank you.
嘿，Tablo。
Hey, Tablo.
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