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欢迎收听《热妻日记》播客，我们将从两位热妻的视角分享我们的真实生活日记。
Welcome to the Hot Wife Diaries podcast where we share our real life diary entries from the perspective of two hot wives.
如果你渴望窥探我们的放荡日记、热妻探索以及我们性感的全球冒险，那就请继续收听。
If you're keen to peek into our slutty diaries, hot wife exploration, and our sexy global adventures, then listen in.
本节目由我——澳大利亚的凯特，以及我的女友米尔福德夫人共同主持。
Hosted by me, Aussie Kate, and my girlfriend, missus Milford.
我们只是两个过着精彩生活的热妻。
We are just two hot wives living our best lives.
现在放松一下，脱掉裤子，潜入我们的日记吧，因为我们有个精彩的故事要讲给你听。
Now get comfy, take off your pants, and slide into our diaries because have we got a story for you.
大家好，欢迎收听《热妻日记》播客第23集。
Good day, everyone, and welcome to episode 23 of the hot wife diaries podcast.
在开始今天的内容之前，我们想首先衷心感谢大家。
Before we get into anything else today, we wanna start by saying thank you so much.
2025年对我们来说意义非凡。
Twenty twenty five has been huge for us.
我们非常自豪，节目下载量已超过39.3万次，有28.1万名‘色狼’——也就是听众，但这些色狼和我们一样。
We are so proud that there are over 393,000 downloads and 281,000 perverts, aka listeners, but perverts like us.
我们还在努力消化这个事实，但我和我的女友Aussie Kate真的非常开心。
And we're just trying to wrap our head around it, but missus Milford and Aussie Kate here, we're so happy.
非常感谢大家今年一路陪伴我们。
So thank you so much guys for joining us this year.
是的。
Yeah.
这些数据真的很惊人，而且刚才的开场也特别有情调。
That's it's pretty amazing statistics and also very, like, sensual intro there.
干得漂亮，小妖精。
Way to go, hot stuff.
太感谢了。
Thank you so much.
我知道这看起来像冰咖啡，但实际上里面加了一小杯伏特加和一份圣诞咖啡。
I know this looks like iced coffee, but it actually has a shot of vodka and a shot of Christmas coffee in there as well.
所以别告诉任何人。
So don't tell anyone.
姐妹，我们在这儿不评判人。
Girl, we don't judge here.
而且我觉得你比我聪明多了。
Also, I think you're much smarter than me.
我想我今天早上确实需要来一杯。
I guess I could use something this morning.
实际上这儿已经是早上了，但无所谓。
It's actually morning here, but whatever.
你知道吗，最让人惊讶的是为什么人们会一直回来。
You know, I think what surprises the most is why people keep coming back.
而且不仅仅是故事本身。
And it's not just the stories.
而是围绕它的那些对话。
It's the conversations around it.
这就是为什么这一集存在的原因。
And that's why this episode exists.
因为在过去的几周里，你们一直在向我们提出真正的问题，不只是那些吸引眼球的，而是非常坦诚的问题。
Because over the last few weeks, you've been asking us, like, real questions, not just the sexy ones, but, like, really honest ones.
你和我私下也经常讨论这些。
And you and I talk about this independently offline.
这些问题涉及安全、信任，以及我们如何在现实生活中真正做到这些。
And they cover questions about safety, about trust, about how we actually do this in real life.
它们变得非常深刻且富有意义。
And they get really deep and really meaningful.
这些问题来自夫妻们，显然他们在家里也在讨论这些话题。
And they come from, you know, questions are coming from couples, and they're clearly talking about these things at home.
所以今天先简单介绍一下这场对话。
So little intro to the conversation today.
是的。
Yeah.
我们喜欢好的问题，尤其是当它们来自女性或夫妻时。
We love a good question, and we especially love it when it comes from a lady or a couple.
那时我就想，说吧，没错。
That's where I'm like, tell yes.
因为那时我会想，天哪。
Because then I'm like, oh my god.
接下来会有更多热情的妻子。
There's gonna be more hot wives.
不过，这很棒。
Although, that's great.
我为我们感到高兴。
I love that for us.
我也是。
I do.
这意味着留给你的和我的资源会更少。
That means there's gonna be less inventory for you and I.
所以也许我们大家都低调一点。
So maybe let's just all keep it on the down low.
我们走出去，但保持低调。
Let's get ourselves out there but keep it on the down low.
或者每出现一位新的热辣妻子，她们都需要招募10位出色的男生。
Or for every new hot wife that comes onto the scene, they need to recruit 10 amazing guys.
我本来想说，分享就是关爱。
I was gonna say sharing is caring.
所以如果你找到了几对经过严格筛选的，就分享给团队吧。
So if you find a couple of nicely vetted ones, share with the crew.
没错。
That's true.
完全正确。
Exactly right.
是的。
Yeah.
记住是谁介绍你的。
Remember who sent you.
记住是谁支持了你。
Remember who propped you up.
这可是金字塔骗局，各位女士。
This is a pyramid scheme, ladies.
必须搞到那根鸡巴。
Gotta get that dick.
旅行，我知道你现在在家，但我的意思是，年底了。
Travel, I know that you're home right now, but what I mean, it's the end of the year.
我们有假期。
We got holidays.
你在干什么？
What are doing?
哦，我十二月一直在本地旅行。
Oh, and so I have a little local travel that I've been doing in December.
我最近要去东海岸旅行一趟，看看圣诞灯饰和节日氛围。
I have a small trip coming up to the East Coast to go see, like, Christmas lights and holiday stuff.
月底我会去多伦多庆祝新年，那一定会非常有趣。
And at the end of the month, I'll be in Toronto to celebrate the new year, which will be tons of fun.
那里有我最喜欢的俱乐部之一。
One of my favorite clubs on the planet is up there.
我超级兴奋。
Super excited.
我一从那里回来，就会在机场过夜，然后启程去牙买加。
And when the second I get back from that, I do an overnight at the airport and I leave for Jamaica.
哇哦。
Woo.
我知道我会一个人去。
I know I'm going solo.
我超级兴奋。
I'm super excited.
我们要去牙买加吗？
Are we going to Jamaica?
是的。
Yeah.
有可能在牙买加演出吗？或者我们现在大致是什么想法？
Potentially playing in Jamaica or where are we kinda at headspace wise?
你知道吗？
So you know what?
没什么计划。
No plans.
我就把这件事交给宇宙，看看会发生什么自然的结果。
I'm just gonna put that out to the universe and kinda see what organically happens.
如果只是短短一周，能和朋友待在一起，晒个漂亮的太阳浴，那就太棒了。
If it's just a, you know, short girls week where I get to hang out with friends and get a nice tan, awesome.
如果我碰巧遇到一个合我心意的人，一切顺利，那我当然乐意
If I happen to meet somebody that, you know, fits my fancy and it all works out, I'm here for
它。
it.
好吧，如果我了解米福德太太的一件事，那就是你似乎总能摇下不少男人。
Well, if I know one thing about missus Milford, it's that you seem to be able to shake the dick tree.
所以，我只是从2025年整体来看待这件事。
And so, I mean, I'm just statistically going by 2025 as a whole.
这将是开启2026年的一种了不起的方式。
It would be a hell of a way to kick off 2026.
我并不是
I'm not
会撒谎。
gonna lie.
如果心想事成真的有效，那我就把这愿望放出去了。
If manifesting was a real thing, I'm putting it out there.
是的。
Yeah.
我要冥想一下，你刚才说什么来着？
I'm gonna manifest some what did you say?
某个公爵？
Some duke?
某个公爵。
Some duke.
嘿。
Hey.
说到公爵旅行的事，我明天晚上就要去曼谷了。
Speaking of duke while traveling, I am heading down to Bangkok tomorrow evening.
真不太想去。
Not looking forward to that.
要坐十二个小时的经济舱。
Twelve hours in economy.
拜托了。
Please.
天哪，救命吧。
God save it.
这会很值得，因为你跟我讲过的关于曼谷的一切。
It'd be worth it because everything you told me about Bangkok.
对吧？
Right?
是的。
Yes.
这绝对值得，我已经在找一个单身男生一起玩了，但我们确实收到了三对情侣的联系，而且这三对都非常棒。
It is gonna be so worth I'm already on the hunt for a single guy to play with, but we've actually had three couples reach out to us, and all three are amazing couples.
他们最初发给我们的消息非常有魅力，而且他们住的区域和我们差不多，你知道的，大概离我们二十分钟车程。
The message they originally sent us was super charismatic, and they're in the little kinda similar area that we're in, you know, maybe, like, twenty minutes away from each other.
不算太远。
Not too much.
所以我想，也许周六晚上可以安排给情侣们。
So I'm like, maybe Saturday night is for couples.
然后当我丈夫工作的时候，周二晚上可以留给旅行伴侣。
And then while my hubby is working, Tuesday night can be for the travel dick.
我现在就是这么想的。
That's where I'm kind of at.
我很喜欢你这样留有余地。
I really like you hedging your bets there.
而且这也是个提出群交的机会。
Also, opportunity to pitch an orgy.
只是随便提一下。
Just throwing it out there.
是的。
Yeah.
你知道吗，我丈夫已经去亚洲了，他给我发了条消息。
You know what, Hubby texted me because he's already away in Asia.
我醒来时看到了这条消息。
And I woke up to this text.
现在是6:30。
It's 06:30.
我马上要去健身房。
I'm about to go to the gym.
嘿。
Hey.
你想在曼谷安排一场群交吗？还是有什么想法？
Do you wanna arrange a gangbang in Bangkok or thoughts?
问号。
Question mark.
我们讲究风格。
We get style.
直奔主题。
Right to the point.
是的。
Yeah.
但我也很欣赏他，因为这件事对他来说太简单了。
But also, I I love that for him that he's just this is so easy.
而且我想这正好引出了我们常被问到的问题：关于如何安排热妻，其实就像安排群交一样简单，这一点你我都清楚。
And and I guess this is a great segue into some of the questions we get asked about how to hot wife is just this concept of, like, how easy it can be to arrange a gangbang, which you and I know.
不，先生。
No, sir.
不。
No.
这就像一边揉肚子，一边拍头，一边用脚转盘子，一边还同时报税。
It's like rubbing your belly, patting your head, spinning your plate on your foot, and doing your taxes at the same time.
是的。
Yeah.
当然。
A 100.
对。
Yeah.
如果你不挑剔，只是随便在外面找，那就是另一回事了。
If you're not picky and it's just kinda like out there in the wild, different story.
另一回事。
Different story.
如果你对组织方式有一定发言权，那肯定会变得有点复杂。
If you have some say in the organization of it, it definitely gets a little complicated.
因为确实如此。
Because it does.
协调好了。
Cocciated.
哦。
Oh.
我喜欢这个说法。
I love it.
但如果你在曼谷搞一个群交派对，那可就太疯狂了。
But it it would be wild if you had a gangbang in Bangkok.
就它本身。
Like, that Itself.
我
I
我不知道。
don't know.
我不知道我在卖什么，但它自己就能卖出去。
I don't know what I'm selling, but it sells itself.
我想为你实现它。
I think I wanna manifest it for you.
天啊。
Oh, man.
我们继续吗？
Shall we proceed?
很抱歉。
My apologies.
在进入评论和我们之前的问题之前，我们会先做一个回顾。
We do get a review before we get into the comments and the questions that we had.
我们收到了莫里斯·穆伊斯的反馈。
We had a review from Morris Muis.
你们俩是我听过最坦率谈论性与自身经历的女性，简直太有魅力了。
You two are the sexiest women I've ever heard talk so openly about sex and your experience.
你们是了不起的女性。
You're amazing women.
我只是想衷心地感谢你们。
And I just wanna say thank you very much.
我们非常感谢你们的支持。
We appreciate your support.
是的。
Yeah.
我们也感谢你的支持，小青。
We appreciate your support, little Ching.
我们开始第一个问题吗？
Do you wanna get started with the first question?
我非常乐意。
I would love it.
在开始之前，你们进入热妻生活方式有多久了？
Before we get started, how long have you been in the hot wife lifestyle for just to kind
天啊。
Oh, god.
我觉得手指都不够用。
I don't have enough fingers, I think.
我可不想让你把所有情趣玩具都拿出来数一遍。
I don't your dildo collection to slam them all out and count them.
不错。
Cool.
我不知道听众有没有时间做这种事。
I don't know that listeners have that kind of time.
我进入非monogamous领域已经很长时间了。
I've been in the non monogamous space for quite some time.
我觉得大概有十七年了。
I think like seventeen years.
但从热妻的角度来看，我想至少有十年了，那时我开始有类似的经历，并且它成为了我生活的核心部分。
But from a hot wife perspective, I wanna say at least 10 where I started to have experience like that, where it became part of the core set.
也就是说，我确实主动去追求这种体验，过去五年里肯定很频繁。
Like, I really wanna seek this out as a regular occurrence, frequent last five years for sure.
太棒了。
Awesome.
对我来说，也差不多十年了。
So for me, it's about ten years too.
我只是觉得告诉人们我们在这个领域中的背景可能很重要，因为人们总会问我们问题，而我们其实并不具备任何明确的权威性。
I just figured it might be important to tell people kind of where we're coming from in this space because we need to get asked questions, and we don't speak really with any, you know, definitive authority on something.
这些只是我们的个人经历，但我们加起来已经有二十年了。
These are just our experiences, but we have now collectively twenty years.
是的
Yeah.
好的
Alright.
是的
Yeah.
我们看起来也不错。
We look good too.
我们看起来不错。
We look good.
我们感觉很好。
We feel good.
你知道的，我喝到一半的加酒精咖啡了。
You know, I'm halfway through my spiked coffee.
我们开始第一个问题吧。
Let's roll with the first question.
我太喜欢这个了。
I love this.
好的。
Alright.
这个问题来自贾斯汀。
So this question comes from Justin.
你们几位能谈谈你们平时怎么做安全筛查吗？
Is there any chance that you ladies could talk about what you do or how you vet for safety?
我妻子对热妻游戏持开放态度，但担心性传播疾病等问题。
My wife is okay with hot wife play, but is worried about STDs, etcetera.
当然要用安全套，但你们会筛选这些男性吗？
Obviously, condoms, but do you vet these studs?
这是个很好的问题。
That's a great question.
我特别关注任何与安全相关的内容。
I love anything around safety.
所以你要不要先接着说，我再补充？
So do you want me to roll with this one and then you add on?
是的。
Yeah.
嗯，我确实想这么做，但我认为这是一个很有趣的问题，因为贾斯汀先谈到了安全，然后才提到性病。
Well, I do wanna do that, but I think that this is an interesting question because Justin talks about safety first and then talks about STDs.
我觉得这两者有时候可能非常不同。
And I think that sometime those two things can be very, very different.
我知道你们在保护一个人时，肯定有一套方法，不只是针对性病。
And I know that you definitely have a kind of methodology in the way that you go about protecting a person, not just STDs.
所以我觉得这是个非常好的问题，我很想听听你的看法，因为我们俩的做法也不同。
So I think this is a a really good question, and I would love to hear your take on it because we also have two different ways we do this.
那你来说吧。
So give it to me.
好的。
Yes.
是的。
Yes.
所以，安全是一个广泛的概念，关乎你如何经营生活。
So, like, safety is a broad term about, you know, how you hot life.
那我们先谈谈人身安全吧。
So let's talk about, like, physical safety first.
对吧？
Right?
因为每当你与他人见面，尤其是男性，比如你打算单独与他们见面时，我们肯定会采取一些措施来保护自己。
Because anytime you include another person, especially a man, say you're gonna meet them out alone, there's definitely some protocols that we throw in there to kind of insulate and protect that.
所以我们通常会一开始就明确期望，以此筛选出那些明显不会遵守规则的人，比如不使用安全套、不在公共场所见面、不分享面部照片等，只要不符合这些条件，我们就可以直接排除。
So one of the things we do is outline expectations right out of the gate to help vet and sort people out that are gonna be an obvious no if they're not gonna comply with, you know, like condom use or meeting in a public space, sharing face pics, you know, anything in that genre, then we can go ahead and weed them out.
所以过去在社交软件上，通常会发生的是。
So historically, what typically happens is on the apps.
我丈夫会帮我先筛选这些人。
My husband kind of starts to vet them for me.
他通常会筛选掉那些对话中的细枝末节。
He kinda weeds through the minutiae of those conversations.
然后我们就能缩小到一小部分特定区域的人选，再进一步筛选。
And we kinda get it down to a small pool of people in a specific area that I might wanna talk to and vet even further.
所以，我们额外采取的安全措施是：如果我要单独外出见面，通常不会在我丈夫出差的时候这么做，嗯。
So the additional safety and protocols that we apply is if I am meeting someone out alone I never I typically do not do this when my husband's out of town Mhmm.
尤其是第一次见面的时候。
Especially if it's a first meet.
我更希望他就在附近或者本地。
I prefer if he's either local or close by.
我总是会共享我的位置。
I always share my location.
见面地点是公共场所，我也会把车停在附近光线良好的地方。
It's a very public area, and I always park somewhere very close by in a well lit area as well.
我喜欢这种‘筛选之前的筛选’的想法。
I like the idea that there's vetting before the vetting.
你知道的。
You know?
我觉得我们本质上也会这么做。
I think that's something that we inherently do as well.
一般来说，老公是第一联系人，他们知道他们在和他交谈。
Generally speaking, hubby's the first port of call, and they know that they're talking to him.
他们并不认为自己在和我交谈，所以知道还有一个男人在场。
They don't think they're talking to me, so they know that there's another man in play.
因此，他也会做这种初步筛选。
And so he will also do that kind of initial vetting.
你知道的，他在那里做几件事。
You know, he's doing a few things there.
他试图问一些问题，来判断我是否会喜欢他们。
He's trying to ask some questions to judge if I'm even gonna like them.
对吧？
Right?
所以他也在尝试当红娘。
So he's trying to play matchmaker as well.
但在这么做时，他会询问他们以往的经历。
But in doing that, he is asking things about their experience.
你知道的？
You know?
你以前做过这个吗？
Have you done this before?
嗯哼。
Mhmm.
你的期望是什么？
What are your expectations?
你喜欢什么？
What do you like?
像‘你喜欢什么’这类问题其实非常关键，因为如果人们是被‘热妻’和这种生活方式的幻想所驱动，他们可能没什么经验，一上来就太过热情。
And those things the what do you like question, I think, is really key because if people are really driven from a fantasy side of the hot wife and lifestyle, maybe they don't have a lot of experience, they'll come in way too hot.
他们会说，哦，我特别喜欢鞭打、BDSM、窒息之类的。
And they'll be like, oh, well, I really like spanking BDSM choking, what have you.
是的。
Yes.
这个不错。
That's a good one.
对。
Yep.
这对我来说是个警示信号，因为一听到这个，我就觉得太重了，完全受不了。
That's a red flag for me because immediately like, that's too heavy for me immediately.
对。
Yeah.
我们会把这种情形归类为‘可以接受’。
And that's like we'd file that under okay.
所以你的玩法，尤其是刚开始的时候，很可能和我的需求不匹配。
So your play style, especially out of the gate, is probably gonna not align with my wants and needs.
所以这样的人我们也会筛选掉。
So that would be someone we'd sort out as well.
他们的言辞。
The speech.
他们如何谈论这个机会和女性，这对我来说是个警示信号。
How they speak about the opportunity and the woman, that's a red flag for me.
如果他们开始使用贬低或侮辱性的言辞，那对我来说是绝对不行的。
If they start using, like, pejorative or degradating verbiage, that's a big no for me.
因为如果你连在讨论性与性行为时都无法尊重他人，甚至在征得同意的场合都使用这种语言，我不知道自己是否能安心与你交往？
Because if you can't respectfully talk about sex and sexual encounters in a space or gas for consent to use that kind of language, I don't know that I can I feel comfortable engaging with you?
是的。
Yeah.
所以如果他们说，我就是喜欢金发妓女、那些小荡妇妈妈之类的东西，对我来说就是不行。
So if they're like, I just love blonde whores and these little slutty moms and stuff like that to me is a no.
一上来就暴露了。
First out of the gate.
你甚至都没有这样跟我谈过。
You haven't even asked to speak to me like that.
是的。
Yep.
是的。
Yep.
然后，你知道，也许以后，但至少这些最初的对话，我认为这些对话，尽管我们说的是筛选，但不该感觉像面试。
And then, you know, maybe later, but for sure that those initial conversations and I think these conversations, even though we're saying vetting, they don't need to feel like an interview.
这并不是说我们给他们列一个第一点问题、第二点问题的清单。
This isn't like we give them a list of one bullet point question, two bullet point question.
对。
Yeah.
这不是审问。
It's not an interrogation.
没错。
No.
这已经融入了所谓的正常对话中。
It's just built into what would be classified as, like, normal conversation.
正如我所说
And as I said
对话。
Conversation.
这可能会让人感觉他像个红娘。
It can be feeling like he's playing matchmaker.
但他们的回应方式决定了他们能否进入下一个环节，也就是我或你。
But the way they respond is kind of what gets them to the second, I guess, entry point, which is me or you.
那你怎么做？
So what do you do?
所以我再次延伸了现有的对话。
So I just expound on the existing conversation again.
我稍微深入解释了一下我的需求。
I kind of explained a little deeper about what I need.
我不把自己称为非常功利的人。
I'm not what I would call very transactional.
我需要一点有意义的连接。
I need a little bit of meaningful connection.
几乎像友谊一样，但不必每天聊天。
Almost close to a friendship, but we don't have to talk every day.
我需要一个基本的根基，才能感到安心并敞开心扉。
I need something that's got a baseline to it to feel like I can open up and be comfortable.
所以我会提醒他们，嘿。
So I warn them, hey.
我们可能得聊一会儿，互相了解一下。
We're probably gonna have to chat for a little while, feel each other out.
在见面之前，我需要一点时间才能信任别人。
It takes me a little while to trust people before I meet.
也许我们会在见面前先进行一次FaceTime或视频通话，你知道的，只是为了确保安全。
Maybe even we do a FaceTime or video call before we meet, you know, just to make sure.
我不太想这么说，但所有照片都对得上，至少能感觉到一点身体吸引力的可能，是的。
I hate to say it, like, all the pictures align and there's at least a notion of physical attraction potential there Yep.
在我们出发之前。
Before we head out.
这确实是我现在会纳入考虑的一点，因为你根本没法假装身体吸引力或者化学反应。
That's definitely one that I've started to include because you just can't fake physical attraction and or chemistry.
我知道我们所有人都在外界尽力展现最好的一面。
And I know we all try to put our best foot forward out there.
有时候照片确实能如实反映我们。
And sometimes pictures do us justice.
但有时候它们并不能。
Sometimes they don't.
这绝对是我在之前设置的另一个门槛。
That's definitely another threshold I install before.
而且，你知道，这不仅仅是吸引力的问题。
And, you know, that's not just an attraction thing.
这还关乎安全，因为当你和别人频繁发短信时，很多信息都会在传递中丢失，是的。
That's also a safety thing because when you're talking to someone a lot gets lost in translation when you're texting Yeah.
或者彼此打字交流时。
Or typing with each other.
对方如何跟你说话、如何表现自己，也能反映出他们的性格特质。
How someone speaks to you, how they hold themselves tells you a lot about their demeanor as well.
这确实没错。
That's so true.
我知道你之前简单提过，提到要在公共场所见面。
And I know you briefly mentioned and touched on meeting in a public place.
这些都是很好的建议。
So those are all great tips.
但我完全忘了问你一件事，我想知道这对你重要不重要，因为不是每个人都在意——那就是网站上的付费资料和认证。
But what I've totally forgot to ask you, and I'm curious if this matters to you or not because it doesn't matter to everybody, paid profiles and verifications on sites.
在寻找对象的过程中，你会在意这些吗？
Are those things that you ever you know, even during the search process, do you care about those?
所以，是的，如果我这边进行搜索，通常会排除免费资料
So, yes, if we are doing the search on my end, free profiles are typically excluded
对。
Yep.
这只是出于偶然，因为这告诉我你可能不太投入。
Just by happenstance because it tells me that you might not be very invested.
你可能经验不足，不太确定你的立场和所有这些情况。
You might not be very experienced, not really sure, you know, where you stand and all that.
验证和推荐信确实有影响。
And verifications or testimonials do count.
别人曾与你线下见面，并有过积极体验，这种小小的信誉很重要。
That little bit of credit that someone else has met you in person, had an experience that with you that was positive.
我的意思是，这就像你在亚马逊上买东西一样，虽然我不太喜欢交易。
I mean, it's just like when you order something on Amazon, and I hate to Transactions.
但评价很重要。
But reviews matter.
确实如此。
They do.
对。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
付费档案和评价，确实很重要。
Paid profiles and reviews, definitely something.
我的意思是，评价，如果是一个新档案，我可能会看，也可能不看。
I mean, reviews, I might take them or leave them if it's a new profile.
是的。
Yeah.
这很合理。
That's fair.
但我确实认为它们很重要。
But I do think they matter.
尤其是，我认为如果你像贾斯汀所说的那样，刚开始尝试这种生活方式，这对一个完全新手的人来说应该是一个必要条件。
And especially, I think that if you are, like as Justin asked, they're kinda starting to dabble in the lifestyle, that would be a requirement, I think, for somebody brand new.
既然有经过验证的个人资料，为什么不把这种体验作为你的第一次呢？
Having somebody with a verification on their profile, why not have that as your first experience?
确保这些人的经验稍微丰富一点。
Make sure that these people do have a little bit of experience under their belt.
是的。
Yeah.
我有个问题想问你。
Now question for you.
你会直接忽略免费个人资料吗？或者当有人用免费资料给你发消息时？
Do you also nix the free profiles or someone with a free profile messages you?
你会考虑吗？
Do you even consider it?
不会。
Nope.
对我来说，免费账户也是一样。
Free profiles for me, same thing.
我觉得你根本没有投入任何东西。
I really feel like you don't have any skin in the game.
你可能根本不是认真的。
You know, you're probably not serious.
也有可能在做些见不得人的事。
Could be doing something dodgy as well.
你可能在欺骗你的伴侣。
You know, you could be cheating on your partner.
这就是为什么你没有付费，因为付费记录会出现在你的信用卡账单上，诸如此类的原因。
That's why you haven't got a free you know, haven't paying for it because it could be in your credit card statement, all of those things.
这一点很重要。
That's a big one.
当我们谈论安全时，我最不想看到的就是某人的妻子突然出现，要动手打架。
And when we talk about safety, like, the last thing I want is somebody's wife showing up and trying to throw hands.
我不愿这么说。
I hate to say it.
我遇到的不多，但确实遇到过几个在出轨的人。
I haven't run across a lot, but I have run across a few that are cheating.
这些可能是最难核实的。
And those are probably the hardest to vet.
顺便说一下，我发现了两种可能表明是未经允许进行此行为的潜在出轨丈夫的情况。
And FYI, two things that I have identified as this could be a potential cheating husband that does not have permission to do this.
嗯。
Mhmm.
他们的时间有限，通常只在白天。
They're limited during the times, usually during the day.
我只能在周一或周三的下午一点到四点之间见面。
I can only meet between one and four in the afternoon on a Monday or Wednesday.
对。
Yep.
这是个明显的警告信号。
That's a big red flag.
回复延迟很长，可能要好几天、几小时，或者只在夜间回复。
Long delays and reply like days, hours, o they'd only reply overnight.
无法真正和你确认计划。
Can't really confirm plans with you.
这些也可能是他们在配偶背后偷偷摸摸的迹象。
Those are also potential signs that they may be, you know, hoeing on the down low behind their spouse.
对。
Yep.
对。
Yep.
在我们讨论性传播疾病之前，你之前提到过在公共场所见面。
Now you did talk about before we get on to STDs or STIs, you spoke about meeting in public places.
我想再深入谈谈这一点。
And I wanna take that one further in.
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我知道你接下来要安排的是约玩时间。
Something I know about you is the next step for play dates.
你怎么保证约玩时间的安全？
How do you guarantee safety on a play date?
所以没有什么是能保证的。
So nothing's a guarantee.
对吧？
Right?
我认为这是我们都在承担的一种有度的风险，因此我认为我们设定了这么多不同的门槛和筛选条件。
I think this is a measured risk that we're all taking, which is why I think we have curated so many different thresholds and gates.
因为如果他们愿意通过这些步骤，我觉得我们就处于一个不错的位置。
Because if they're willing to walk through these, I think we're in a good place.
我们有很大可能获得一个良好的结果，但永远无法保证。
There's a highly likelihood that we're gonna have a good outcome, but it's never a guarantee.
所以我从不在第一次约会时就发生关系。
So I never play in the first date.
这只是我的一般准则。
That's just my general rule.
我偶尔为了特殊情况打破过几次，但我总是选择地点，并且通常会预订房间。
I I have broken a couple times for special circumstances, but I pick the place, and I usually book the room.
嗯哼。
Mhmm.
我想所有事情都用我的名字办理。
I want everything in my name.
我想对环境拥有完全的控制权。
I want to have total control over the environment.
而且地点总是离我所在的地方很近，如果不是在我住的地方的话。
And it's always somewhere close by to where I'm at, if not where I'm staying.
所以如果我在外地，可能住在酒店或Airbnb，那玩乐活动就会在那里进行。
So if I'm out of town, maybe I'm in a hotel or Airbnb, that's where the play session's gonna happen.
我从不去他们家，也从不让他们预订酒店。
I never go to their place, and I never let them book a hotel.
是的。
Yep.
一样。
Same.
所以我从没去过别人家，我也倾向于预订酒店。
So I have never been to somebody's house, and I also tend to book hotels.
我很少在家安排约会，原因有几个。
Rare for me to have a play date at my house for a few reasons.
一个是因为
One is because
对。
Yeah.
一样。
Same.
你知道的，我的家务事，还有，感觉不太有情调之类的。
You know, my chores and, you know, it doesn't really feel that sexy and everything else.
我想要那种在别处的、有点浪漫的体验。
I want the experience of kind of somewhere off-site sexy.
但没错，我的安全和不希望别人知道我的地址是其中一个原因。
But, yes, I mean, safety and knowing my address is one of the things.
而且，我也不想为了让他来一趟就得把整个房子彻底打扫一遍。
Plus also, I don't wanna have to clean the entire house just for him to come up.
你需要处于正确的心态。
This is You wanna be in the right headspace.
这简直太棒了。
That's fucking genius.
是的。
Yeah.
跟我说说这个。
Tell me that.
而且我觉得，在当今这个时代，人们非常担心在不知情的情况下被录音，我知道现在如果人们住Airbnb，总会建议买那种小装置来检测有没有摄像头。
And I think that in the day and age of people being very concerned about being recorded without their consent as well, I know that if people stay in Airbnbs these days, they're always recommending get one of those, like, little transmitter things to see who are looking cameras.
而且，我的意思是，我并不建议每个人都这么做，我相信这仅仅是极少数人的情况。
And, I mean, I wouldn't suggest that everybody's out there doing this, and I'm sure it is a very, very tiny few people.
但是，是的，如果他们在你到达之前已经住过这个酒店房间，会不会存在未经你知情的录音可能性？
But, yes, if they had the hotel room before you got there, could there be a chance that there would be some recording without your knowledge?
可能性极低，但这种情况会发生吗？
Highly unlikely, but could it happen?
你知道的，也许吧。
You know, maybe.
所以我认为这也是我喜欢对房间拥有控制权的原因之一。
So I think that's also one of the reasons why I like to have control over the room.
是的。
Yeah.
这种可能性永远不会为零，它只是为其他事情提供了保障。
The possibility is never zero, and it just insulates the other thing.
你说过你永远不会去别人家。
You said you will never go to somebody else's house.
我也是一样。
And I'm in the same boat.
我只做过一次，而且就是最近。
I've only done it once, and that was recently.
嗯哼。
Mhmm.
我只做过一次，因为我的脑袋里总在想。
I've only done it once because of my head.
我已经花了这么长时间才答应了。
I was like, it's already taken us so long for me to say yes.
如果我走进你家，发现你是个邋遢鬼，或者味道怪怪的怎么办？
And what if I walk into your house and you're a slob or it smells weird?
这肯定会让我彻底崩溃。
It's totally gonna ruin for me.
我只能穿着内衣赶紧离开。
I'm just gonna have to leave with my lingerie.
是的
Yeah.
接着说。
Go on.
顺便说一下，把你的该死的麦片碗洗了。
And by the way, wash your goddamn cereal bowl.
性传播感染，这也是经常提到的一个话题。
STIs, it's another one that comes up often.
我们经常谈论这个。
We talk about it often.
我们对此非常坦诚。
We're super transparent about it.
对。
Yep.
你的性传播感染防控标准，我觉得比我的更严格。
You have a, I would say, stricter STI regime than I do.
是的，我确实如此。
So I do.
你可以先说。
You can probably go first.
好的。
Yeah.
因为我也制作内容。
So because I do produce content too.
我只是想确保自己在这些方面都做到了位。
I just wanna make sure, like, I'm hitting all the marks there.
所以我定期检测。
So I test regularly.
而且我要求他们在发生关系前一定时间内完成检测，以确保我们尽可能负责任。
And I do require that they have a test within a certain amount of time before play just to make sure that being as responsible as we fully can.
这也能再次告诉我，他们对这种关系有多认真。
It also tells me again how serious they are about this engagement.
如果他们愿意去检测，而这不是他们一年只做一次的事情，因为他们本身不太活跃，或者这本身就是他们的文化。
If they're willing to go test and it's not something they're like, maybe they only do it once a year because either they're not very active or that's just their culture.
如果他们愿意为此破例，这就说明他们非常重视我的安全，这让我更有动力想和他们达成这次合作。
And if they're willing to make that exception, that tells me they're taking my safety very seriously, which gives me more reason to want to fulfill this opportunity with them.
所以，再次强调，这又是另一个门槛。
So, again, it's another gate.
而且这并不是一件很容易实现的事情。
And it's not exactly a cheap occurrence.
有时候他们所在的地方有免费诊所可以去，这也是可以接受的。
Sometimes they live in a place where they have a free clinic they can go to, which is also fine.
只要他们在做，我就不会评判。
I don't judge as long as they're doing it.
但我确实会提前提出这个要求，因为现在这实际上已经成为我筛选过程的一部分了。
But I do ask that upfront because it's now actually, I'd say it's probably a part of the vetting process at this point for me.
我觉得我并没有那么严格。
I think that I so I'm not as strict.
你每年检测的频率更高，是的。
You get tested more frequently per annum Yes.
比我多。
Than I do.
当我去做检测时，我喜欢包括口腔拭子和肛门拭子。
When I do get tested, I do like to include include oral swabs, anal swabs.
这只是我保护自己健康的方式，确保我——嗯。
That's just part of how I like to protect my own health and just make sure I'm Mhmm.
尽可能保持健康。
Being healthy if I possibly can.
但当我与人们聊这些时，我确实会跟他们说：嘿。
But when I'm having these conversations with people too, I do actually say to them, hey.
而且我会主动提供。
And I offer.
我会说：这是我的最新检测结果，然后把报告和结果发给他们。
So I'll say, here's my recent test results, and I'll send them the list and the outcome.
这就是我打开话题的方式。
And that's the way I open it up.
我会说，嘿。
I'm like, hey.
这是我的最新检测结果。
Here's my recent one.
这会让他们也愿意分享，比如‘这是我的’，或者‘我从不做检测’，或者‘我好久没做了’，也可能他们会发回自己的结果，说他们只做血液和尿液检测，这时候我就可以顺势说，你知道吗，好吧。
And that opens the stage for them to be like, oh, here's mine, or I don't get them, or I haven't had one in a while, or they might send theirs back and say they're only doing blood and urine, that might be a good opportunity for me to say, you know, okay.
那拭子检测呢？
What about swabs?
你有兴趣去做一下吗？
Would you be interested in going and getting those?
或者类似的话。
Or something to that effect.
或者至少，如果我决定继续和对方发展关系，而知道他们没做过拭子检测，这对我来说又是更多一点的信息，让我能决定是否接受。
Or at least at least if I did decide to carry forward with play knowing they hadn't had the swab test, that's again that's more information for me to just be either okay with it or not.
你知道吧？
You know?
没错。
Exactly.
这是一种有度的风险，这就叫知情同意。
It's a measured risk, and that's called informed consent.
你拥有做出决定所需的所有信息，然后你可以决定是否继续。
You have all the information you need to make a decision, and you can decide to go forward with it.
这没什么不对的。
There's nothing wrong with it.
这只是再次整合所有信息，以确保你拥有做出同意或拒绝决定所需的一切。
It's just, again, compiling all that information to make sure that you have everything you need to say yes or say no.
现在说说安全套。
Now the condoms.
对我来说，我认为对你来说也是如此，这是不可协商的。
So for me, and I think this is the same for you, it's that's a non negotiable.
是的
Yep.
不可协商
Non negotiable.
对
Yeah.
而且我看到越来越多的人在推广无屏障式玩法，但我还不确定自己会站在哪一边。
And I have seen a lot more offering or preference being put out there for barrier free play, which I don't know what camp I'm gonna land in on that one.
因为我确实欣赏，比如我上一位伴侣，我们玩的时候就是无屏障，或者我过去一直传统地玩无屏障。
Because I do appreciate, like, my last partner, we played barrier free or the last I've just traditionally played barrier free.
嗯
Mhmm.
但如果他们都做检测了，那种情况，你知道的，就变得无所谓了。
But if they're testing, like, that kind of, you know, that kinda becomes a wash.
但我确实看到这种情况越来越普遍了。
But I am seeing it more often.
你对这个怎么看？你遇到过这种情况吗？
How do you feel about that, and have you come across it?
我在欧洲的许多交友网站上都见过这种情况，俱乐部里偶尔也能看到。
I have seen it on a lot of dating sites here in Europe, and we see it occasionally at clubs as well.
这种无套性行为。
This kind of bareback play.
我每次发送检测结果时，都会注明：自上一次检测以来，我跟三个人发生过关系，除了我丈夫之外，其他人都使用了安全措施。
What I actually do when I send my results is I also will say I've played with, I don't know, three people since my last test, and I've played with barriers with the exception of my husband.
这样一来，就为对方提供了机会，让他们也能说出类似的情况。
And again, it kinda opens the door for them to say a similar thing.
所以我在这里本地认识的那位单身男性，也以同样的方式回应了我，他说：好的。
So the single guy that I was seeing here locally, he responded back in kind and he said, okay.
自上一次检测以来，我跟六位女性发生过关系。
I've played with six women since the last time I had my test.
其中一位，嗯。
One of them Uh-huh.
那是无套进行的，她是我某种程度上的长期女友。
Was barrier free, and that was my kind of quasi longer term girlfriend.
所以，再次强调，嗯。
And so, again Mhmm.
这些信息让我能够，你知道的，是的。
Just that information gives me, you know Yeah.
有权利说同意或拒绝。
The ability to say yes or no.
是的。
Yeah.
这没什么好羞愧的。
And there's nothing to be ashamed of.
当我们提供信息时，更容易打开话题。
It is easier to open it up when we give the information.
所以我不知道有没有女士在听。
So I don't know if any ladies are listening.
这可能会让你感觉有点脆弱，好像在敞开心扉一样。
It may feel a little, like, vulnerable, like you're opening yourself up.
但实际上这非常令人解脱。
It's actually very liberating.
是的。
Yep.
因为我不确定很多男性，尤其是这个领域的人，是否被教导要主动开启这样的对话。
Because I don't know that a lot of men, especially in this space, are taught to lead with that conversation.
我觉得我始终更喜欢使用安全套。
I think that my preference is always condoms.
所以如果有人告诉我这些信息，如果我们能分享、能讨论，那就会是最佳情况。
So if somebody gives me that information, if we can share it, if we can talk about it, that's gonna be kind of the gold star.
我们继续吧，聊聊马特怎么说的。
Let's move on, and we'll talk about what Matt had to say.
所以马特说，我妻子想知道你通常上哪些网站找约会对象。
So Matt said, my wife would like to know what sites you go on to find your dates.
我们很难找到有趣的人来参加并真正出现。
We are having some trouble finding fun people to come through and actually show up.
我的意思是，我们应该拿出自己的观点来发声，还是干脆算了？
I mean, should we get our soap boxes out or should we just kinda leave them?
是的。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
说得好，马特。
Preach, Matt.
好的。
Okay.
这就是游戏的规则。
So that is just the name of the game.
不幸的是，如果我要猜我的数据，每10个经过丈夫审核、看起来要转给我的对话中，可能只有1个能最终见面，而且还得他不放鸽子。
Unfortunately, if I had to guess what my statistics are, for every 10 conversations that get vetted past the husband where it looks like it's going to get teed over to me, out of 10, I might end up meeting maybe one if he doesn't flake.
假设候补名单上有两个人。
Let's say there's two in the hopper.
其中一个人几乎肯定会取消或放鸽子。
One of them almost guarantee will cancel or flake.
嗯。
Mhmm.
我不知道为什么。
I don't know why.
again，没有任何迹象表明他们已婚或类似情况。
Again, no signs that they're married or or whatnot.
也许他们是新人。
Maybe they're new.
你知道，可能有一百个不同的原因，但要让单身男性承诺约会真的很难。
You know, there could be a 100 different reasons, but it is very hard to get single guys to commit to a date.
是的。
Yeah.
这很有趣，因为你会觉得，这并不是板上钉钉的事，但有可能发生。
Which is funny because you're like, it's not a sure thing, but it could be.
是的。
Yeah.
在那个时候。
At that point.
我的意思是，如果你能赴约，至少在那个时候，是的。
I mean, if you can make it to the date, like, at that point Yeah.
确实如此。
It's so true.
我觉得真正出现的这部分，你知道吗，米尔福德，你一针见血了，因为我每次约人，有一半时间对方根本不会来。
I think the actually showing up part, you know, Milford, you got a nail on the head there because I think half the time that I do make plans, half the time they're not showing up.
最近没发生过这种情况了。
It hasn't happened in a while.
我最近运气特别好，但我想这本来就是预料之中的。
I've had a really good run, but I think that was just something to be expected.
我以前特别沮丧，因为我花了很多时间剃须、整理、化妆、做头发，然后哦，是的。
And I used to get really frustrated because I spend the time, you know, shaving, pruning, doing my makeup, doing my hair, and then Oh, yeah.
别提了，那种日常的全套沐浴，简直了。
Don't even get me started on the everyday shower like, the everything shower.
如果要给你做全套沐浴，算了吧。
If we do an everything shower for you, come on.
是的。
Yeah.
我们现在用来应对这种情况的方法是，在开始打扮之前，就把约会确定下来。
Then you're not trying to so what we do to try and combat that now is that before I even start getting ready so this dates may be locked in.
我们一直在沟通。
We've been talking.
我们昨天就可以聊过。
We could have spoken yesterday.
在约会当天，我开始打扮之前，会发条消息说：嘿。
The day of before I start getting ready, I will send a text and say, hey.
你今晚还是有空吗？我们计划的见面时间。
Are you still good for tonight at whatever time we're planning on meeting?
你还是准备好了吗？
Are you still good to go?
嗯，没错。
And Uh-huh.
这样，如果他们没回复，我就觉得没问题。
That way, if they don't respond, I'm like, cool.
这就是我的答案。
That's my answer.
所以，直到当天收到确切确认之前，我不会开始准备。
And so I don't start now getting ready until I get actual confirmation on the day.
而且，这并不是，你知道的，我在骚扰别人。
And, it's not it's not, you know, I'm not harassing somebody.
我只是跟他们说一声，嘿。
I'm just being like, hey.
我真的很期待今晚的约会。
I'm really excited about the date tonight.
刚准备开始收拾，挑挑我要穿的衣服之类的。
Just about start getting ready, picking out what I'm gonna wear or something like that.
你知道的，我会尽量让气氛轻松有趣一点。
You know, I try to make it a bit fun, flirty.
你那边还方便吗？
You know, are you still good?
你今天过得怎么样？
How's your day been?
真想好好聊聊。
Can't wait to catch up.
然后我就把这个问题抛出去。
And then I leave it out there.
如果他们没回复，我就不准备了。
And if they don't respond, I don't get ready.
如果他们回复得晚，我就不准备了。
If they respond late, I don't get ready.
所以这就是我应对这种情况的方式。
So that's kinda my way to combat that.
我也是。
Same.
我没想到这一点。
I didn't think about that.
这是因为前一天发生了点小状况，所以我们才这么做的。
That is something we applied because the day before, it's like, boo boo.
大家都想法一致，但你说得完全对。
Everyone's on the same page, but you're a 100% right.
在我准备、出门或做任何事情之前，我都会再确认一次。
Before I get ready, before I leave the house, before any of that happens, I reconfirm.
我曾经遇到过他们两三个小时都没回复的情况。
And I have had them not respond, like, two, three hours.
我心想，哦，是的。
I'm like, oh, yeah.
对。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
我只会迟到了。
I'm just gonna be running late.
我心想，不行。
I'm like, no.
不行。
No.
不行。
No.
不行。
No.
事情不是这么做的。
That's not how this works.
是的。
Yep.
你懂的？
You know?
你有充足的时间去调整或回复。
Like, you've had ample time to adjust and or reply.
我知道有时候会有突发情况，但事情不是这么做的。
And I get sometimes things come up, but that's not how this works.
不。
No.
如果真有一次发生了，我曾经遇到过一个人，他说：哦，经你这么一提，工作确实挺忙的。
And if something has come so one time I had a guy and he was like, oh, actually, now that you mention it, work's really tough.
我可能会迟到。
Like, I might be late.
我可能得重新安排，现在还拿不定主意。
I might have to reschedule really on the fence.
我当时想，不行，先生。
And I thought, no, sir.
因为，再说一遍，如果工作上真出了什么状况，事情发生了，我完全理解。
Because, again, if something did go amiss at work and shit happens, I totally understand that.
但如果真是那样，事情真的闹大了，他早就发消息告诉我：出大事了。
But if that was the case and shit did hit ceiling, he would have texted me beforehand going, shit has hit the ceiling.
我们能重新安排吗？
Can we reschedule?
真的很抱歉。
I'm so sorry.
他会主动联系我。
He would have been proactively reaching
找我。
out me.
只是主动一点。
Just proactive.
你会收到一条主动的消息。
You would have gotten a proactive message.
你就不必去到处找它了。
You wouldn't have to go search for it.
这还涉及另一个行为问题。
And that's another thing about the behavior.
不要让我不得不去找你，因为这本该是件有趣的事。
Do not make me come looking for you because this is supposed to be fun.
如果它变得像工作一样累人，那就不再有趣了。
And if it becomes work or taxing, now it's no longer fun.
是的。
Yeah.
现在这事不会发生了。
Now it's not gonna happen.
这简直破坏了气氛。
And it just kinda kills the vibe.
是的。
Yep.
网站，你们指的是哪些网站
Sites which sites do you
很难。
A tough.
地理上相关的吗？
Geographically relevant?
所以总体来说。
So there are as a whole.
对吧？
Right?
我们称它们为非单偶制生活方式或相关生活方式的网站。
Let's call them nonmonogamous lifestyle or lifestyle adjacent sites.
早就有一些网站专门为非单偶制群体服务了。
So there's been sites that serve the non monogamous community for quite some time.
就像在1999年一样运作，因为它们根本没更新过。
It is like operating in 1999 because they're just not updated.
而且它们操作笨拙，还非常地域化。
And they're little clunky, and they're super regionalized.
所以确实存在这样的网站。
So there are sites like that out there.
它们很棒。
They're awesome.
欧洲有，澳大利亚也有。
You have them in Europe, you have them in Australia.
我们美国和加拿大也有。
We have them here in The US and Canada.
我的天，我都能一口气说出一堆名字来。
I mean, I could mention rattle them off by name.
我们可以把它们放在节目笔记里。
We can put them in the show notes.
但我认为，我在所谓的更传统的应用上，即使不是更好，至少也有同样好的运气。
But I would argue that I have just as good of, if not sometimes better luck, on what I call more traditional apps.
是的。
Mhmm.
我不用Tinder，但我听说有人在上面，比如Bumble和Field，取得了成功。
I don't use Tinder, but I have heard people having success on there, like Bumble and Field.
是的。
Mhmm.
Bumble真的很棒，因为我可以主动发起联系。
Bumble's really cool because I get to reach out first.
Field很有趣，因为它支持多种关系模式，而不仅仅是传统类型。
Field is interesting because you can have a multitude of relationship dynamics that aren't just the traditional type.
比如，你可以是一对同性关系中的伴侣。
Like, you can be a couple in an homologous relationship.
你可以是一个处于开放关系中的已婚女性。
You can be a married woman in an open relationship.
你可以是双性恋且单身。
You can be bisexual and single.
在那个应用上，你可以是很多种不同的人。
You can be a lot of different things on that app.
我认为如果我依靠大众推荐的话，听说那里的成功率还不错。
And I think if I'm crowdsourcing, I've heard a few good things about success rates there.
你觉得你的最大成功是来自你刚才提到的手机应用，还是来自非一夫一妻制的约会网站？
Do you find that your most success is based on, say, the mobile apps you just mentioned or more non monogamous dating websites?
你主要在哪里找到最多的机会？
Where would you find the bulk?
如果要我预测的话，我觉得成功率正朝着手机应用方向提升，是的。
I think if I had to predict, it's moving towards a higher success rate on apps Mhmm.
而不是非一夫一妻制的网站。
Versus the non monogamous sites.
但传统上，非一夫一妻制网站是我作为整体工作取得最多成功的地方。
But traditionally, the non monogamous sites are where I found most of my success as a body of work.
是的。
Yeah.
所以
So
这非常有趣，因为对我们来说，我们正在全球14个约会网站上活动。
That's it's super interesting because for us, we're on 14 dating sites around the world.
这有时让人不知所措，因为确实你会国际旅行。
It's it's overwhelming sometimes because, yes, you travel internationally.
每个地方、每个地区都有不同的平台。
Every place, every region has a different one.
对。
Yep.
在这些网站上，你有时可以发布约炮、速配或者旅行约会。
And you have to on these sites, sometimes you can put out like a hot date or speed date or like a travel date.
这整个事情挺复杂的。
And it's a whole thing.
你基本上得当自己的项目经理。
Like, you have to basically be your own project manager.
没错。
You do.
我们确实是，因为我们准备去澳大利亚。
We were because we're going to Australia.
我三天前登录了澳大利亚的那个网站，发现有一条未读消息。
I logged into the Australian one about three days ago, and I had a message sitting there from someone.
真是谢天谢地。
And it was actually thank god.
因为有时候我登录后，发现那条消息是四个月前的了。
It was a new message because I've been logged in sometimes, and I'm like, oh, that's a four month old message.
我登录后，发现那是一条比较新的消息。
And I logged in, and it was a fairly new message.
他们说：嘿。
And they were like, hey.
我们只是好奇你的旅行情况，因为我们注意到自2024年以来，你的旅行信息在这里一直没有更新。
We're just curious about your travel because we noticed that your travel hasn't been updated on here since 2024.
所以我们只是想知道你可能在哪里。
And so we're just curious where you might be.
你还活着吗？
Is you alive?
我当时想：天哪。
And I was like, oh, shit.
是的。
Yeah.
谢谢你们，各位。
Thank you for that, guys.
我认为我们大部分时间都花在了应用程序和网站上。
I think that we would find predominantly we spend a lot of our time on the apps and on the websites.
我会在节目笔记里放几个，但这些完全是地理导向的。
And I will chuck a couple in the show notes, but it is completely geographically focused.
所以当这期节目发布时，如果你使用Spotify，请在你所在地区的评论区留言，我会回复你所在地区最主流的约会网站或应用，无论你身在世界何处。
So when this comes out, if you use Spotify, go and comment on the episode where you are, and I will respond with which of the dating sites or websites are predominant in your area, wherever around the world.
你真是个圣人。
You're a saint.
真希望我当初刚开始做这个的时候有这份速查表。
I wish I had that cheat sheet back in the day when we first started this.
因为那时候我们不得不试了三四个不同的网站，才弄清楚谁在哪个平台上。
Because we had to go through three or four different sites before we found out who was on which site.
是的。
Yeah.
真正让我抓狂的是，当人们说这就是那个约会应用的时候。
And that's the thing that really drives me mental is when people say this is the dating app.
我总是会插话，说：不是这样的。
And I'm always I always come in and I'm like, no.
具有地理导向的。
Geographically minded.
所以我总是告诉人们，别扯淡。
So I do always tell people, no bullshit.
我会直接告诉你，最受欢迎的平台是X、Y、Z。
I'm just gonna straight up tell you, like, the popular side is x y zed.
所以我认为我们全年大部分的联系都是通过这些网站建立的。
I So think that we find most of our connections generally year round on the websites.
在这里荷兰非常流行，而且它恰好具有更全球化的特性。
Very popular one here in The Netherlands, and it happens to be kinda more global in nature.
但明天我前往亚洲后，也会开始使用你刚刚提到的Field应用。
But now with going down to Asia, from tomorrow, I will be using Field, the app you just mentioned as well.
所以我会重新登录Field。
So I will log back into Field.
我在那里有账户。
I do have an account there.
我会重新登录，准备好进入曼谷的环境。
And I'll log back in and get ready to put myself in Bangkok.
因为在曼谷，虽然他们也在使用我们所属的全球网站，但单身男性都用这个应用。
Because in Bangkok, although they use the global website that we're part of, the single guys are on the app.
是的。
Yes.
情侣用网站，单身男性用应用。
Couples on the website, single guys on the app.
我还注意到另一点，就是单身男性的年龄范围。
Something else I've noticed, the age range of the single men.
他们在应用上的年龄普遍偏小，而在网站上的则偏大一些。
They tend to trend a little younger on the apps, and then a little older on the websites.
而我的年龄正好处于一个非常有利的区间，两种方式我都适合。
And I'm in a very beneficial space for my age where I could do both.
亲爱的。
Sweetie.
我对两者都感兴趣。
I am attracted to both.
所以这就像是自由混战。
So it's kind of like a free for all.
就像我可以既吃蛋糕又保留蛋糕。
Like, I get to have my cake and eat it too.
但如果你有偏好，因为有些女性喜欢展现御姐气质，那么应用可能更适合这类目标密集的环境，是的。
But if you have a preference, because some women like to put on their cougar face, apps might be a little bit more target rich Yep.
这种环境更适合。
Environment for that.
所以
So
不错。
Nice.
但我觉得这差不多概括了马特的回应。
But I think that about wraps up kind of Matt's response.
我知道听起来我们对这个问题有点模棱两可，马特，但这个策略非常注重地理区域。
I know that sounds like we're sitting on the fence with this one, Matt, but super geographically focused.
这真是
It was
一个很有挑战性的问题。
a loaded question.
确实是个很有挑战性的问题。
Was a loaded question.
但我希望我们帮到了你，让你的用户真正参与进来。
But I hope we helped you with the and make them show up.
祝你好运。
Good luck with that.
你知道的？
You know?
如果你能摸清其中的秘诀，记得给我们发私信，告诉我们，或者派信鸽也行，怎么都好。
If you can figure out the secrets, you know, DM us, let us know, send carrier pigeon, all the good things.
是的。
Yeah.
所以在我们结束之前，还有一个问题我们今天没来得及深入讨论。
So before we wrap this up, there was one more question we didn't fully get into today.
我说的是玩豆豆，你知道的，玩指挥官。
I'm talking about flicking the bean, you know, playing commander.
所以我们得专门做一期来聊这个。
So we have to do a whole episode about it.
是的。
Yeah.
所以这个人，我希望我没说错。
So this person, I hope I don't mess this up.
免费的真实苦差事。
Free real schlep.
我问这个问题是为了探讨男性和女性自慰方式之间的差异。
I asked this to talk about the differences between how men masturbate and how women masturbate.
对吧？
Right?
嗯嗯。
Mhmm.
绝对值得做一期专门的节目。
Definitely deserves its own episode.
我们承诺会在2026年初回覆你，因为我们将会讨论我们自己是怎么做的、我们的伴侣是怎么做的、我们对伴侣自慰的看法，以及我们或他们使用的性玩具。
We promise we're gonna get back to you in early twenty twenty six because we're gonna be talking about how we do it, how our partners do it, what we think about our partners masturbating, and what toys we or they use.
我有很多见解。
I've got a lot of insight.
我对这个话题充满热情。
I got a lot of passion about this.
所以如果你想听我如何放纵自己，那肯定会在那期节目中详细讲到。
So if you wanna hear how I like to get down and dirty, that will be where I will be talking about that for sure.
是的。
Yeah.
所以我们整个一期节目都来聊这个。
So we're gonna wank it for a whole episode.
是的。
Yeah.
我同意。
I'm down.
我只是在讨论怎么剪辑这部分。
I'm just talking about how to edit that.
我心里想，天哪。
In my head, I'm like, oh my god.
这听起来像是个剪辑噩梦。
That sounds like an editing nightmare.
我只是想试着把音量调均衡。
I'm just trying to, like, sound level it out.
我觉得你可以围绕这个剪辑过程，在整个社交媒体上做一个短视频和推广活动。
I think you could do it on an entire social media, like, reel and campaign around you editing that information.
我觉得这会火起来。
I think it would go viral.
天哪。
Oh, man.
如果你喜欢这期节目的风格，请帮我们一个忙。
If you like the style of this episode, please do us a favor.
留下评论或评分，尤其是如果你使用Spotify的话。
Drop a comment or a review, especially if you're using Spotify.
我注意到很多听众都在使用Spotify，所以很多评论都是从那里来的。
I've noticed that a lot of our listeners use Spotify, so a lot of the comments are coming through there.
告诉我们你的想法。
Let us know what you think.
告诉我们你可能有什么问题。
Let us know what questions that you might have.
查看节目笔记和相关链接。
Check out the show notes and check out the links.
我们最近确实收到一些问题，比如：我怎么找到米尔福德夫人？
We did have a few questions recently like, how do I find missus Milford?
我立刻就想，老兄，每次我们发布新内容时，都去看看节目笔记吧。
And immediately, I was like, my man, check out the show notes every time we release one.
我的意思是，我不是想自夸，但你也可以去谷歌搜我。
I mean, I don't wanna brag, but you can Google me too.
当然了。
100%.
接下来，和我们一起迎接新年。
Coming up next, spend the new year with us.
我们的下一期节目实际上将在12月31日发布。
Our next episode is going to be released actually on the December 31.
米尔福德夫人，你将讲述一些在德克萨斯州跳舞踢踏、遇到一个男人的故事。
And missus Milford, you're going to recount a little bit of boot scootin' down in Texas and a guy.
所以这将是今年的最后一期节目。
So that's gonna come for our last episode of this year.
是的
Yeah.
我回去过几次，现在想想可能是第三或第四次了，但那段时光非常愉快。
I went back for I think at this point, it's thirds or fourths, but it was a very good time.
太棒了。
Awesome.
我好期待这一集。
I can't wait for that one.
所以这将在下一期播出，我们将在2021年结束前与大家再见。
So that is gonna come up on the next episode, and we'll see you then as we get ready to close out 2021.
好的。
Alright.
今天的故事就到这里，但别担心。
It's the end of today's diary entry, but don't worry.
我们将在两周后带着更多《热妻日记》和古董内容回来。
We will be back very soon with even more Hot Wife diary entries and antiques in two weeks.
与此同时，如果你们想念我们，不妨给我们留一个播客评价，或者访问我们的网站，了解更多我们的精彩内容。
In the meantime, if you miss us, why not leave us a podcast review or check out our website for even more juicy fun from us.
你可以在我网站aussiekate.com上找到我，我的女友则在thisismilford.com。
You can find me at aussiekate.com and my girlfriend at thisismilford.com.
如果你特别兴奋，不妨看看节目说明。
If you're feeling especially frisky, check out the show notes.
我们都把所有内容放在那里了。
We've dropped them all in there for you.
直到下一次更新。
Until next entry.
嘘。
Shh.
别告诉任何人。
Don't tell any.
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