1 - 化悲痛为力量 | 在商业与生活中将悲伤转化为成长

欢迎收听《影响力播客》。我是埃迪·威尔逊，在此帮助你们看见他人所不能见，在他人失败处创造机遇，推动你们在曾经的空无之地建立帝国。让我们携手踏上这段旅程，共同改变世界。是的，我最近经历了祖父离世的痛苦。

Welcome to the Impact Podcast. I'm Eddie Wilson, here to help you visualize what others cannot see, create opportunities where others have failed, and push you to build empires where once there was empty space. Let's embark on this journey together and make a difference in this world. Yeah. I recently, went through and experienced the loss of my grandfather.

我九十多岁的祖父是个非凡的人，他度过了卓越的一生。失去祖父固然令人痛心，但同样深刻的是我们有机会颂扬他的人生——因为他影响了数十万人。不仅通过他的慷慨，更通过他的品格和影响力。他真是个了不起的人。

And my grandfather in his nineties was an incredible man. He lived an exceptional life. And so as much as losing my grandfather was impactful, it was also impactful that we got the chance to celebrate his life because he made impact on hundreds of thousands of people. Not just by his generosity, but by his character, by the influence he had. Just an amazing man.

在哀悼与追思的过程中，一个圣经原则浮现在我的生命里：往哀悼之家去比往宴乐之家更有益、更有效。在哀悼之家中，你学到的远比宴乐之家更多。作为孙辈代表发言是我的殊荣——并非因我特别或与他关系独特，而是这个艰难时刻许多人选择沉默。当我站讲述他的故事、我们的互动，那些或幽默或伤感、难忘而有力的往事时，我逐渐意识到他生命轨迹的深远影响，他的声音至今仍在我脑海中回响。

And as we were going through the process of both mourning and celebrating, there's a biblical principle that showed up in my life, and the biblical principle is that it's better, it's more effective to go to the house of mourning than it is to the house of feasting. You learn so much more in the house of mourning than the house of Feasting. And I was privileged to be the speaker out of all of the grandchildren. I was the one that was selected that had the opportunity to speak, not because, you know, I was special or I had a different relationship with him, just because it was a difficult time and a lot of them just didn't want want to speak or didn't necessarily need to speak, but I was privileged to do so. And as I stood up and told the stories of his life, told the interactions I had with him, told funny stories, sad stories, memorable, powerful stories, I began to take note of all the things that happened in his life and how his voice still speaks, you know, in my mind.

那些对我们影响深远的人，你会发现自己重复着他们的话语，思考着受他们启发的想法。祖父对我的慈爱难以言表——每次驾车同行时，他总会花大量时间与我分享哲学思考。

Those impactful people in our life, you find yourself saying their same words. You find yourself thinking thoughts that came as a direct result of them. And he was so kind in my life. He always spent so much time as we would drive places. He would philosophize.

他向我阐述他的哲学理念、思想体系和意识形态，这些至今仍在我脑海中萦绕。我生命中最具影响力的两位男性就是父亲和祖父。祖父的声音总能穿透我生活中的纷扰，至今仍指引着我领导机构、教养三个优秀儿子、建立人际关系，并努力活出有价值的人生——这很大程度上源于我对他的认知、他树立的标准与标杆。因此他的离去，反而成为推动我追求未来愿景的强大催化剂。

He would talk to me about his philosophy, his thoughts, his ideas and ideologies. And those still play in my head. The two most impactful men in my life were my dad and my grandfather. And my grandfather's voice just cuts through so much of the clutter in my life and still speaks today as I try to lead the organizations that I have the chance to lead, and as I father three amazing young men, and as I build relationships and spend time trying to become a man that has a life worth living, so much of it is dependent on my belief system about him and who he was and the standard and the bar that he set. And so because of that, in his loss, it was a massive catalyst to future things that I want in my life.

如同我姐姐、哥哥和其他亲人的离世一样，这是位伟大的老师。回顾我生命中最具影响力的时刻，往往是失去至亲的时刻——因为你被迫面对他们生命树立的标杆。三岁夭折的姐姐让我五岁时就目睹数千人参加葬礼，意识到三岁生命也能产生巨大影响；父母的应对方式同样为我设立了标准。哥哥的离世再次树立了新的标杆。

It was a great teacher as was the loss of my sister, my brother, other family members. I go back to my life, into my life, and the most impactful moments in my life really are the loss of loved ones because you're forced with the bar, the measuring stick of their life. You know, my sister passed away when she was three. And I remember at five years of age, thousands of people coming to the funeral home and realizing that she had a massive impact at three years old and the loss of her, and the impact my parents had as well, was a bar that was set in my life. The loss of my brother, again, another bar set in my life.

祖父的离世又为我设立了人生标杆，这些都塑造了今日的我。因此往哀悼之家确实胜于宴乐之家——因为在深渊中、在挣扎里、在低谷处，我们学到的生命真谛远比在山巅时刻更多。巅峰转瞬即逝，而那些深邃黑暗的艰难时刻才是成功的催化剂。

My grandfather, a bar set in my life, which all became catalysts for who I am today. And so it is better to go to the house of mourning, the house of feasting because we learn so much more in the depths, in the struggle, in the valley versus learning what life is all about in the mountaintop. The mountaintop is a fleeting moment. Those deep, dark, difficult moments are catalysts for success.

对于那些被失去击垮而非重塑的人，你有什么建议吗？

Do you have any advice for people who have had loss and that seems to have broken them

有的。

Yes.

而不是被击垮？

Rather than build them?

我有情商极高的父母，他们帮助我面对失去。我一生中经历过重大丧失，但我的父母同样如此。我的两个兄弟姐妹去世了，这意味着我的父母失去了两个孩子。失去手足已足够痛苦，作为父母，我无法想象失去孩子会是怎样。那将是无法承受的。

I had very emotionally intelligent parents that helped me deal with loss. In my life, I have had massive loss, but my parents also did as well. Two siblings of mine passed away, but that means two children of my parents. As hard as it is to lose a sibling, as a parent, I cannot imagine what it would be like to lose a child. It would be unbearable.

我母亲拥有极高的情商，每当我挣扎时——记得小时候我常因失去姐姐和与她共度的时光而哭着入睡——她总会进来安慰我，然后说：‘埃迪，告诉我你关于丽贝卡最美好的回忆。说说她让你开怀大笑的瞬间。告诉我她最爱玩你的哪个玩具。’母亲将这些记忆深深刻进我的心智，永不磨灭。她其实是在教导我感恩曾经拥有的时刻。

My mom, with extreme emotional intelligence, when I would struggle, when I'd struggle, I remember, you know, as a young boy struggling to sleep, I'd cry myself to sleep just because of the loss of my sister and the relationship I had with her, and my mom would come in and she would comfort me, and then she would say, Eddie, tell me about your favorite memory of Rebecca. Talk to me about the moment that she made you laugh. Like, tell me what your favorite toy was that she played with. And my mom indelibly put her memories into my heart and into my mind that will never go away. But my mom was teaching me to find gratitude for the moments I did have.

当你经历失去时，关键在于感恩曾经的拥有，而非沉溺于当下的缺失。对过往的感恩能压倒当前痛苦——无论是生死相隔还是关系破裂。若能感恩曾经的拥有，你就能跨越苦难。每次遭遇丧失时，人生都会出现分岔路：要么选择就此止步，要么将其转化为未来成长的巨大催化剂。

When you have or experience loss, it is so vital to find gratitude for what you've had versus the suffering for what you're missing. The gratitude for what you've had can overpower, can override the suffering for the current issue. And that goes for whether you've lost them to death or just to a break in relationship. If you can find gratitude for what you have had, what you did have, it transcends, and what it does is that fork in the road, you get the chance anytime you suffer loss, there's a fork in the road. And the fork in the road is either choosing that this will be a ceiling, I'll never go past it, or it's a massive catalyst for future huge growth.

每次都是如此抉择：要么安于现状就此停驻，要么在经历中寻找感恩，将其转化为无人能及的成长动力。当以正确方式处理丧失时，它会成为通往下一成功的加速器。想想商界的失败案例——往往正是这些挫折催生了后来的飞速成功。

Every single time. And so it's either I'll choose the ceiling and I'm okay with it and I'll just live my life here, or if you can find gratitude in the moments and the opportunities and what it what it did provide for you, you can use that as a catalyst that no one else can touch. Like, there's something about loss that when you process it the right way, it becomes the the great accelerator to the next success. Think about people's failures in business. You know, let's relate it to more business.

通常正是商业上的失败铺垫了后来的爆发式成功。那些经历破产、创意破灭、遭投资人抛弃、团队失望的人，若能视挫折为催化剂而非天花板，就能以十倍速度找到新机遇。我们应对丧失的方式，决定了与成功的关系。

Usually, it's a loss or a failure in business that predates the huge success that drives huge fast acceleration. You find somebody who goes through a loss, they go through bankruptcy, their ideas, you know, disseminate, they've got, you know, whatever. And sometimes they've even got a mountain of people that are frustrated with them, upset with them, investors that don't like them anymore, you know, staff members that are frustrated that it didn't work out. But if they can take that as a catalyst versus a ceiling, they'll find their next opportunity and find it 10 times faster. How we deal with loss in our life is the relationship we'll have with success.

应对丧失的方式即塑造成功的方式。人生最需反思的恰是挣扎时刻——这些才是真正的教导时刻。无论是祖辈、友人还是子女的葬礼，这些丧失构成了生命最具冲击力的瞬间。回首往事，正是失去兄弟、姐妹和祖父母的时刻永远改变了我。

How we deal with loss is the relationship we'll have with success. The moments where we most need to reflect on in our life is when we are struggling because those are the moments of teaching. You know, the moments of sitting at a grandparent's funeral or a friend's funeral or even a child's funeral are the most impactful moments in our entire life. And I look back on my life and they have been the most impactful. I've lost a brother, I've lost a sister, I've lost grandparents.

这些时刻永远重塑了我们。它们将人生推向催化点，催生新的成长、渴望与激情。想想有多少非营利组织源于至亲离世，多少人生成就是因重要之人逝去而激发。我呼吁人们不要害怕探索那些看似生命终结的时刻——那正是重生与再造的契机。

And those are the moments that have changed me forever. Right? Like those are the moments that take us to a place in our life where it's a catalyst, for new future growth, desires, you know, passions, everything erupts out of think about think about the amount of nonprofits that have been started out of a loss of a loved one. Think about the renewed vigor of accomplishing something in our life based on the loss of someone in our life. And I want to just recall us and push people to not be afraid to explore the moments where it seems like life is over because those are the moments of renewal and regeneration that we need.

当代文化总教我们用药物逃避这些时刻，用麻醉阻隔可能改变人生的蜕变机遇。我们这代人需要集体直面痛苦，探索感受、理解丧失的教诲。哀悼之屋所藏珍宝，远胜宴乐之所。大卫·戈金斯来到Aspire时，人们关注他主动寻求不适的勇气——因为人们本能知道：所求的一切，尽在不适之中。

So much of our culture is to medicate and to push those moments away, to not experience them, to mask them with something that really hinders us from the moment that potentially could change us forever. That in this generation, we as a group, as a people, need to dive into them, explore what we feel, experience that loss, feel the loss, understand the loss, and understand what it is that teaches us. There's more to be found in the house of mourning than there is in the house of feasting. I love when David Goggins comes to Aspire because people look at him and they focus so much on the fact that he's intentionally placing himself in discomfort. And I think that they intrinsically know that in that discomfort comes everything you want in life.

不是吗？我们明知挣扎孕育成功，举重才能练就肌肉，却耗费大量精力营造舒适生活。

Right? Like, know that struggle brings success. We know that lifting a heavy weight brings the muscle that we want. Right? And yet we spend so much time trying to curate comfort in our life.

我认为不仅要安于不适，有时更应主动寻求不适。观察到Z世代甚至在居住环境上主动寻求不适，这很有趣——毕竟现代社会构建的一切都在消除不适。最近研读斯多葛学派哲学时发现，他们始终推动我们摆脱现代便利，避免过度享乐。

I think it's not only important that we, live in discomfort, but sometimes even seek out discomfort. And I'm seeing, you know, this kind of generation z, effort to seek out discomfort even in their own living situations. Know, I think it's a fascinating construct because the way that we've built our society, everything is to remove comfort. I've been reading some philosophers recently. I've been really deep into the Stoics, it's interesting how the Stoics will constantly push us towards discomfort, push us towards, removing the modern amenities from our life, from not allowing too much pleasure.

今早我读到的一篇文章讲的是要节制生活中的享乐，因为这些享乐最终会导致你的堕落。生活中的享乐实际上会带来塞内加所说的'生命之臃肿'。这种臃肿会逐渐掌控你的生活，导致身体机能退化等等。他阐述的是享乐如何成为摧毁自我的元凶。而正是在这种节制中，在这种微妙的平衡线上，我们才能找到幸福，同时推动自己走向成功。

The one I actually read this morning was about moderating the pleasures of your life, because the pleasures of your life will ultimately bring your downfall. The pleasures of your life will actually bring what Seneca called the fatness of your life. And the fatness of your life actually takes control of your life, which actually brings degradation to your body and all of that. But he was talking about how the pleasures actually become a destroyer of who you are. And it's in that moderation, it's in that fine line that we we, you know, can find happiness, but also propel ourselves forward in success.

很多现代哲学家教导我们应该追求没有压力与问题的人生，认为幸福存在于抵抗所有自然欲望和世俗牵绊的状态。这些观点或许都有其道理。但若没有挣扎、没有考验、没有问题，就不会有真正的成功。试问有哪个商业成功人士是一帆风顺就取得成就的？

A lot of the modern day philosophers will teach us that we should be pursuing a life minus all of the stressors and problems and that we need to find happiness and that happiness is found in this place where we resist any natural, hooks and attachments in our life. And there is there is, you know, truth in probably all of that. But without the struggle, without the trial, without the problem, there is no true success. I mean, tell me one business successful person that has just naturally found it without any struggle. Right?

没有任何恐惧，没有任何困难。因为如果真有这样的成功，那这种没有经历挣扎的成功又有什么乐趣、意义和价值呢？

Without any fear, without any problems. Because if they have, you know, I mean, what fun, what good, what benefit is there with success with no struggle, you know?

你有什么方法来自我检视是否过于安逸吗？

Is there a way you check yourself like, am I too comfortable?

有的。我祖父常说每天早晨要告诉自己的身体：是你在掌控它，是你的意志在主导。他七八十岁时，我常去他家。不知道你是否记得那种健腹轮——单轮双把手的器械。我祖父直到八十多岁还在用那种老式硬轮健腹轮，就是四五十年代那种细窄款式。

Yeah. My grandfather often talked about how you should start every morning by telling your body, your physical body, that you're in control, that your mind's in control. In his seventies and eighties, I would go over to his house. And I don't know if you remember those, like, ab rollers, you know, the wheel, single wheel, two, you know, handles. My grandfather all all the way up into his eighties, and he had the ones like the skinny one that was like built in like the '19, like, forties or fifties, like with the hard wheel, you know?

现在我看到的都是改良版，但祖父坚持用老式款。我每天早晨都看他做健腹轮训练。他八十多岁仍保持极佳体态，直到实在做不动为止。八十多岁还和我们打篮球。他强调身体永远不该主导，而应由意志掌控。他总说清晨第一件事就是驯服身体，这样当身体喊停时，意志能说：不，我还能坚持。

And then now we have like nicer ones, but it's like and I would watch him every single morning do that ab wheel. My my grandfather was, you know, extremely fit all the way into his eighties, until he just couldn't physically do that anymore. Played basketball with us up into his eighties. But he talked about how your body should never be in control, but your mind should be. And he would always talk about put your body in subjection first thing in the morning so that when your body tells you that it's time to be done, mind says, No, I can push through it.

上周我和一位年轻人交谈，他来寻求建议。这是个敏感话题，我会谨慎处理且绝不透露身份。他说：'我21岁离家，与父亲关系恶劣。其实不全是他的错，我们都有责任。但自那以后我再未获得真正的成功。'

You know, I was talking with a young man last week, and he came to me for some advice. Sensitive subject, so I'll be very careful with it, and I would never, you know, explain who this person is, but he said, I left home at 21. I have a really bad relationship with my dad. And he said, and it really isn't his fault, it's kind of both of our faults. And he said, and I really have yet to find success past that moment.

他问我：'您认为我的人生困境是否与父子关系直接相关？'我回答：'当我们将自我价值交由某段关系或某个遗憾来定义时，这就成了人生的天花板。你多久会想起与父亲的矛盾？多久会谈论这件事？'

He was like, Do you think that the struggle with my success or where I'm headed in life is directly related to the relationship I have with my father? And I said, I believe that any time we allow a relationship or a loss to dictate who we are, I think it is the next ceiling in our life. I think it's the next lid, you know? And I said, How often do you think about the issue with your father? How often do you talk about it?

'当你在追求事业成就时，这个心结出现的频率有多高？'他说：'每天。'我告诉他：'那这就是你必须解决的瓶颈，它正在制造阻碍你前进的负面抗力。'他当时25、6岁，意味着这个心结已困扰他四五年。

How often does it come up when you're pursuing greatness or you're trying to build this company or whatever it was that he was trying to accomplish? And he said, Every day. I said, Then it's absolutely something you have to go deal with because it is the ceiling. It is something that is creating this negative resistance in your life that you need to go release that and go back. And he was 25, 26, so he'd been dealing with it for four or five years now.

前几天他发信息说：'我回去重建了与父亲的关系。虽然还有很长的路要走，但已感到生活压力开始减轻。您说得对，这或许就是我突破的关键。'

And he texted me the other night and said, I went back and rekindled the relationship with my father. He said, We got a long way to go. He was like, But I already feel the tension beginning to remove from my life. And he said, I think you're right, this may be the great catalyst to my success. We'll see.

但我确信其中必有缘由。这不仅仅是一次失败，而是当遭遇两次相似的挫败时，突然之间你开始认定这就是真实的自己——‘我就是不擅长理财’、‘我就是不会与人相处’。

But I believe that there is something there for sure. It's not just when you have one loss, it's when you have two losses and look similar. And all of a sudden you begin to identify that's who I am. I'm just bad with money. I'm just bad with people.

‘我就是搞不懂技术’、‘我就是应付不了客户’、无论什么领域都如此。于是你开始构建这种自我叙事。我发现最难以克服的是，当经历两次相似的失败后，这就会成为我们的身份烙印。

I'm just bad with technology. I'm just bad with customers. I'm just whatever it is. And begin to create the narrative. And what I find is is that the hardest thing to overcome is when we've had two losses that look similar because it becomes our identity.

我发现唯一的解脱方式是直面它、谈论它、剖析它。我们常陷入内心挣扎，那个喋喋不休的声音总在脑海中说：‘你永远搞不定金钱’、‘你这方面就是不行’、‘你永远不会成功’。但我要说，商业是门科学。事业不顺通常不是因为经营方式，而是经营者的自我认知出了问题。

What I find is is the only way to release that is to own it, speak about it, and talk through it. And oftentimes, we have this inner turmoil, you know, where it's that voice that's just nagging in our head telling us like, well, you're just not good with money or you're just not good with this or whatever. You're never gonna find success that we have to deal with. And I can tell you that business is science, right? Like if you're not successful in business, it's really not because It's not because of what you're doing in business, it's usually who you are in that business, right?

认清自身优劣势能指引我们迈出正确的下一步，而坦诚表达则能让我们对行动负责。我人生中有许多短板，当公开承认时，就等于立誓不再重蹈覆辙。比如我常需面对的事实是：我不擅长人际交往，建立关系对我而言很困难——这是我经常挂在嘴边的话。

And to identify our strengths and weaknesses always allow us to take the next right step, but to speak and get honest about it, holds us accountable to the next right step. There are some things that I lack in my life that if I speak to them, what it does is it creates accountability for me to not live there. Like one of the big things that I have to deal with all the time is I'm not great with people. I don't build relationships easy. And I say it all the time.

我总说：‘我精于数字运算，擅长战略规划，在这方面得心应手，在那方面游刃有余，也善于管理——懂得如何让人承担责任。’

I always say, I'm really good at numbers. I'm really good at the vision side. I'm really good at this. I'm really good at that. I'm good at management, you know, holding people accountable.

我真的很不擅长建立人际关系。我之所以经常这么说，是因为——尽管我组织里有很多人可能会说，其实我觉得你可能挺在行的。对吧？但这是因为我在通过说真话来不断自我问责。你知道，实际上我真的不擅长这个。

I'm really horrible at building relationships. And the reason I say it all the time is and most people there are lots of people in my organization that would say, actually, I think you're probably pretty good at it. Right? Like, but it's because I'm constantly holding myself accountable to it by speaking the truth. You know, like, I'm actually really not good at it.

我每天都在努力改进。我把它记在日历上，和助理讨论这件事。我真的很努力，比如我有一份每月需要联系的关键人物清单，我会让执行助理把它安排进日程，确保不错过任何联络机会。你看，我在这件事上投入了极大努力，但这确实是我必须下苦功的领域。

I work at it every day. I put it in my calendar. I talk to my assistant about it. I I work at it, you know, like, I have a hot list of people that I need to connect with on a monthly basis, and I have a list, and I make I have my EA put it in my calendar so I never miss the opportunity to connect with them. You know, I'm working really, really, really hard at it, but it is the one thing that I have to work hard at.

所以通过保持开放和诚实，这让我能持续自我监督。

And so by being open and honest, it holds me accountable.

我特别想听你聊聊具体操作流程。比如当我听说Toggle时，

I'm really interested in hearing you talk about your actual processes. Like when I heard about Toggle,

我当时

I was

比如，我想去下载那个。对。听到这些我真的很喜欢。我觉得观众可能也会喜欢这些，就是，这些是我会做的事。没错。

like, I wanna go download that. Yeah. So hearing those things I'd love. And I think the audience might love those too is like, these are the things I do. Yeah.

你大声说出来，把它们列成清单，和你的助手讨论，然后安排时间执行。

You speak them out loud, you write them in a list, you talk to your assistant about it, and then you schedule out.

我会这么做。所以我非常喜欢这个方式。

I do. So I love that.

这就像我今天就能应用的东西。

That's like something I could apply today.

是的。我的意思是，我再简单回顾一下。我知道我需要改进的一个方面是建立更深层次的关系。为了建立更深的关系，我明白必须投入时间。因为我非常注重时间管理，实际上我常常把人际关系排挤出生活，而不是为它们创造空间。

Yeah. I mean, and I'll just walk you back through that for a second. So I know that one of the areas that I need improvement in is building deeper relationships. In order to build a deeper relationship, I know that there has to be time. Because I'm so focused on my time, what I do is I actually schedule relationships out of my life versus create inclusion for them.

所以我的清单上——我有很多清单，其中一个我称之为'热点名单'。这份名单上是我生活中需要并渴望建立关系的重要人物，不仅仅是员工，还包括我母亲、父亲、祖母等等。

So what I have in my list, I make lists, you know, lots of lists. One of the lists that I have is what I call my hot list. My hot list are people in my life that are important for me to have a relationship with, and I desire a relationship with them. This is more than just my employees. This is, you know, my mom, my dad, my grandmother.

就是那些如果我忙得脚不沾地时，会忘记联系的人，比如忘记发短信。我弟弟在名单上，孩子们也在上面。因为如果不刻意提醒自己，我会全神贯注于眼前的工作——比如和一起挖沟的同事自然就熟络起来，会分享生活。但如果你不在我身边，这些人几乎就像不存在一样，因为我的注意力太集中了。

You know, like people that if I am just, you know, a 100 miles an hour, will forget to just reach out to them, you know, forget to send them a text. So my brother's on there, my children are on there. Because if I don't keep that in front of me, I'm a 100 miles an hour in whatever direction I'm headed, and I'll naturally build a relationship with the person I'm like working next to, you know, if we're digging a ditch together, I share my life with you. Right? But if you're not in the ditch with me, then it's like almost people just almost don't exist, you know, because it's like I'm I'm focused.

这就是问题所在。所以我让助理每周都安排固定时间。她有一份我想建立关系的所有人名单，会提前安排好时间，然后由我决定是打电话还是发短信。

And so that is the issue. And so I have my EA schedule, time every single week. She has a list of every person that I wanna build a relationship with. She schedules it in, and I get to make the choice. Do I make a phone call?

每次通勤路上她都安排了联系时间。无论是上下班、去健身房，还是往返机场的路上，她都会安排。

Do I text? And so on every drive, she schedules it in. So if I'm driving to and from work, she puts it in there. If she if I'm on my way to the gym, she'll put it in there. You know, driving to and from the airport, she'll put it in there.

因此我尽量有意识地利用每一天的每一分钟。有时发短信，有时打电话，联系对象从家人到某些名人都有。有些名人是我的人生榜样，我不仅想和他们建立关系，更想深入了解他们。

And so I try to use every minute of every day very, intentionally. And some days I'll send a text, some days I'll, you know, make a phone call, and everyone from family to certain celebrities. There are some celebrities that I want to emulate in my life. And so I don't want to just have a relationship with them. It's like I actually want to learn more about them.

我生命中有个重要的人是蒂姆·蒂博。他逐渐融入了我们的生活圈，曾多次为我们演讲。最近他举办了'闪耀之夜'活动，为了与他建立关系，我们机构赞助了这场活动。

One of the people in my life is Tim Tebow. And Tim has become kind of a part of our world. We've had him speak for us a few times. And recently he has his Night to Shine. And in order to build a relationship with Tim, our organization sponsored it.

我参加了他的'闪耀之夜'，每月至少给他发一次短信，定期尝试通话。这对我很重要，因为我敬佩蒂姆·蒂博的善良、对生活的热情以及他服务他人的方式。有天晚上我看到视频，记录他在'闪耀之夜'挽着一位特殊需求人士走过通道，他轻抚那位女士的手，这一幕深深触动了我。这正是我想提升的品质——我想变得更仁慈。

I showed up at his Night to Shine. I went and participated, and I sent him a text at least once a month, try to give him a call periodically, but that's a big deal to me because I love Tim Tebow's kindness and I love his passion for life and I love how he serves others. The other night I watched him, they shot a video of him walking a special needs person down the aisle at his Night to Shine, and I just watched him as he rubbed the lady's hand, and it just, it made an impact on me. And I thought that's one element in my life I wanna improve on. I wanna be more kind.

我想关注那些无法回报我的人，并主动服务他们。他正是我想效仿的榜样，希望他的品质能感染我。因此他成为我定期联系的对象。太多人被动接受生活，而非主动塑造生活。

I wanna look at those who cannot serve me in any other way, but I wanna serve them. Know? And so, he's one of those men that I feel like I want to become more like. I want him to rub off on me, and so he's in that list of people that I consistently connect with. So many people let life happen to them versus them happen to life.

我认为必须带着觉知生活。要把人生目标分解为：我想代表什么？想成就什么？这是最困难的部分，因为我的答案不断变化。然后需要明确：我真正想影响哪些人？

I think you have to live life intentionally. And I think that your intentions have to be broken down into what do I want my life to stand for and what do wanna accomplish? That's the big one, that's the hardest. Because that's changed so much in my life. Then you have to, you know, pair it down to who do I actually want to make impact on.

生命的本质是影响他人。但人的精力和能力有限，必须慎重选择影响对象。最终归结为：我愿意用时间交换什么？对我而言，这是从宏观到微观的思考过程。

Life is about impact. Life is about influence. And you're only going to have enough energy and and ability to impact so many people, so you have to be intentional about the ones you are impacting. And then it comes down to what will I exchange my time for? So for me, it's kinda like the macro down to the micro.

我发现只要专注影响对象并预留时间，大方向自然清晰。许多与我交流的千禧一代常问：如何找到人生目标？如何影响他人？如何确认天命所在？

But what I find is is when I don't have the macro in sight, if I just focus on who I wanna make impact on and I carve out the time that allows that to happen, then the bigger picture kind of takes care of itself. I have a lot of, you know, millennials and younger who I've talked to, and I'm privileged to have influence on their life, and they'll ask me that question. How did you find your purpose? How did you find, you know, impact others? Or how did you find what it is that you feel like you're called to do?

对我而言，关键在于保持足够的勤勉和觉知，为命运留白。'影响他人'组织的诞生，源于我在度假时朋友随口问：'能顺道来看看我的孤儿院吗？'

And for me, it was about being diligent enough that and and intentional enough that it gave my life room for that to show up. You know? I don't think that I actually sought out for it. I just gave enough room for it to show up. Really, Impact Others was a result of me going on a vacation and a friend of mine saying, Hey, while you're on vacation, would you mind coming over and checking out my orphanage?

这需要为非常规事件留出空间。今天是周一，早晨我审视本周日程后，立即让助理调整：取消这个，缩短那个，添加这些——因为我发现本周几乎没有为重要事项留时间。

It was leaving enough space to do something outside of the ordinary, right? To allow for those opportunities in my life. Today's Monday. I got up this morning, I looked at my schedule for today, I looked at my schedule for this entire week, I hit my EA up. I said, cancel this one, get rid of this one, shorten this one, add this to my life, add this.

调整后的日程可能让助理头疼，因为每周一我都会这样优化。本周原定与我见面的一些人——他们或许很期待、也值得见面——但我要说抱歉，因为时间有限。

Because when I looked at my calendar today, Monday, I'm setting my week, I realized that I left very little time for what is important to me, and I just allowed life to happen into my calendar this week. And I changed it. And I'm very I think she probably gets tired of those Monday morning texts because every Monday I do this. Like every Monday, it's a part of my rituals to just look at my week and say, let's make room. And there are quite a few people that thought they were gonna have a meeting with me this week.

这些多数是非团队成员，可能是会议听众或有求于我的人。

They probably really wanted a meeting with me this week. They probably deserve a meeting with me this week. That I told them, I'm sorry, I don't have the time to meet with you. And, you know, most of those people are outside of our staff or they're outside of my world. It's just somebody who saw me conference or somebody who wants something from me.

但我必须学会说不。在拒绝的同时，你其实对许多其他事情说了‘是’。这周我就拒绝了一位非常出色的人，从个人角度而言，我本会很享受那次交谈。但我意识到，我的日程表确实需要为‘影响他人’非营利组织留出更多时间，这样我们才能为它安排更多会议。那次拒绝的对象是我们海外的一位区域总监，我对他怀有宏大的愿景。

But I have to learn to say no. And in saying no, you say yes to so many other things. And so there was a really amazing person I said no to this week that for my own sake, would have really enjoyed the conversation. But what I recognized was I really needed to have more time on my schedule for the nonprofit Impact Others, and we were able to fit another meeting in for that. And that was with somebody overseas that is one of our regional directors I have a really big vision for.

因此我必须做出选择：要么与非常想交谈的人共度时光，要么真正践行我的人生使命与天职召唤。这永远是你需要面对的选择题。所以你必须保持清醒的觉知，对吧？

And so I had to make the choice. I either get to spend time with somebody I really, really wanna talk to, or I actually get to fulfill what it is that my life is, and my calling is directed towards. And that's always gonna be the choice that you put in front of you. So you have to be intentional. Right?

你不能任由生活摆布。必须高度自觉地列出清单，严格掌控日程安排，最终确保自己有足够的勇气拒绝。这很难，难在你不想让人失望。

Like you can't just allow life to happen to you. You have to get very intentional. Make lists, make sure you govern your schedule, And then ultimately make sure that you are strong enough to say no. You know, that's hard. It's hard because you don't wanna disappoint people.

这周我肯定让某些人失望了，但取悦所有人并非我的人生意义。我来这世上是要成就些事情的，有时艰难的选择难免令人失望。但我能肯定的是，基于这些选择，本周我将更接近人生终极目标。我们的团队成员拉里·亚奇曾对我说：如果把‘这太难了’换成‘这很简单’，会怎样？

And I'm sure that this week I disappointed some people, you know, but that's not why I am on this earth. I'm not here to make everybody happy with me, you know. I am here to accomplish something and sometimes making the hard choice disappoints some people. But I can tell you that this week I will accomplish more towards the end goal and the result of what I want for my life based on those choices. Larry Yatch, one of our team members here, he said to me one time, he said, What if every time you said, This is really hard, you changed the word to easy?

他当时问：‘你觉得会有什么变化？’我说不知道，愿意试试。经过实践我发现，生活中的困难往往与认知有关——是我们的主观认知决定了事情的难易程度，而非行动本身。

He was like, What do you think that would do? And I said, I don't know, I'll try it. And so I started thinking through that process and really what I found was is what is difficult in our life oftentimes is tied to our perception. Our perception actually mandates the level of difficulty. It really isn't the actual action of it.

我发现，比如那些我觉得困难的事情。当需要给予别人负面反馈时，我总觉得难以开口，尤其是知道对方可能接受不了的时候。记得有一次，我不得不和某人谈谈，关于他们需要调整态度、转变思维模式的问题。他们确实在工作中表现出了不同，我知道这场对话无法避免。当时心里想着：好吧，这将会是一场艰难的谈话。

What I find is like, for instance, things that I find hard. I find it hard to give somebody open feedback when it's negative and I know they may not receive it well. And I remember after that, I had to talk to someone about, you know, how they needed to clean up their attitude, change kind of their mindset. You know, they did show up to work differently, you know, like, and I knew I had to have that conversation. And in my mind, I thought, okay, this is gonna be a hard conversation.

后来我记得自己突然转换了想法，告诉自己：不，这会是一场轻松的对话。接着我开始思考：我真的能让自己相信这件事很容易吗？改变思维方式真有这么简单吗？我记得当时还分析了为什么说它容易——首先因为这是事实。

And I remember switching and going, okay, this is be an easy conversation. And then I thought, can I actually make myself believe that this is easy? Like, it easy enough to change the way I think? And I remember thinking like, okay, well, why is it easy? Well, it's easy because it's truth, number one.

说它容易，还因为这不过是言语交流，又不是要搬什么重物。这里不存在体力上的挣扎，所以确实简单。如果考虑谈话的结果——我能改变这个人的工作表现，改善团队文化——那这实际上就是件容易的事。有趣的是，我们与自身语言和认知的关系，那些词语和观念，彻底改变了我那一刻的结局。

It's easy because it's just words, you know? It's not like I'm lifting something heavy. There is no physical struggle here, so that's easy. If I look at the outcome of this, and the benefit is that I actually change someone's outcome in work, I change our culture, well, that actually is easy. And so I I it was funny how just the relationship with our word and our perception, our words and our perception changed my entire outcome on that moment.

真正经历过后，我记得结束时心想：噢，原来这么轻松。整个过程令人着迷。他后来和我探讨了我们与自身语言的关系——我们如何通过基于语言构建的认知，用特定的话语来主导自己的体验。语言就像在铺路，我们先用言辞铺就道路，然后行走其上。

And then when I went through it, I remember thinking at the end like, oh, that was pretty easy. You know, like it was just it was fascinating. And he he talked to me about the relationship we have with our own language and how we dictate what our experience will be by the language of the perception based on our language it creates for us. That language is like paving a way. It's like, you know, I'm actually paving this path and then I'm walking on it.

如果我们改变语言，实际上就改变了道路。而道路改变后，我们的体验就会不同。这个认知对我影响深远。奇怪的是，如此微小的转变竟能产生重大影响——这绝对要归功于拉里。

And that if we change our language, we actually change the pathway. And when we change the pathway, our experience is different. That has been monumental for me. And it's weird that that one little shift has made such a major impact. And I definitely owe that to Larry.

拉里让我产生了这样的想法。我知道他在我们的会议上经常提到这一点。但这确实带来了巨大的改变。回想一下，我们最难做到的事情之一就是学会拒绝，对吧？

Larry, you know, had me think that. And I know he's been speaking that a lot at our conferences. But it's made a a big difference. You know, go back to the concept of how one of the hardest things we have to do is say no. Right?

但当你真正拒绝后，处于那个拒绝的瞬间，原本要经历的事情现在不会发生了，那种解脱感会带来轻松。明白吗？实际上，拒绝给生活带来的轻松感远多于困扰。关键在于如何欺骗你的大脑，让它对'拒绝'和'做困难之事'的认知产生转变。

But when you say no, and now you're in the moment where you said no, and the thing that you ultimately were going to experience is now not happening, the relief you feel creates an ease. Right? It's like, well, you know, saying no actually creates more ease in our life than than difficulty. Right? And so it's it's something there's something there in tricking your mind to think differently about the perception of what it actually entails to say no, to do difficult, hard things.

这彻底改变了思维路径和人生体验。对我而言，贯穿我人生哲学的品牌核心是时间、财富与目标。掌控时间就能创造财富——需要重新定义财富：所谓财富，就是既满足今日所需，又不透支明日所有。

It really changes the pathway, the experience, all the above. I think for me, my overarching brand over, like my philosophy in life is time, wealth, and purpose. Like if we control our time, wealth is generated. It needs to be redefined. Wealth is having enough for today without diminishing what I have for tomorrow.

而目标，当我掌控了时间，创造了足够财富不再为金钱所困时，就能自由追求完整的人生意义。如果有人问我最想传授什么，我的答案永远是时间、财富与目标这三项人生准则。这或许就是我希望能留下的精神遗产。

And then purpose, once I have control of my time, I generate enough wealth that I'm not concerned for monetary things, then I'm free to live a complete life of purpose. So for me, that, if I ever get the chance to teach someone something, if somebody says, what do you want to teach? I'm always like that, like time, wealth, and purpose. I'll teach you the principles that I live my life by. And it's like, I would love for that to be kind of the legacy piece of what I do.

是的，这就是我想要的——我自己渴望过一种有意义的生活。但我真正想做的是教会他人掌控自己的时间、创造财富，最终过上完全自由、能全然追求人生目标的生活。所以，没错。

Like, yes, it's what I want is, yes, I wanna live a life of purpose myself. But what I really want is to teach others to control their time, create wealth, and ultimately live a free life that is free to be purposeful in complete totality. So, yeah.

酷。好的。

Cool. Okay.

非常感谢您参与本期播客并收听今天的节目。很期待与您进一步交流，您可以通过任何社交媒体平台关注我的账号EddieWilsonOfficial与我联系。

Thanks so much for being a part of the podcast and for listening today. Love to connect with you further and you can connect with me on social media EddieWilsonOfficial on any of the social media channels.