2 - 重新定义失败 | 关于韧性、导师与影响力的启示

欢迎来到《影响力播客》。我是埃迪·威尔逊，在此帮助你们看见他人所不能见，在他人失败处创造机遇，推动你们在曾经的空无之地建立帝国。让我们携手踏上这段旅程，共同改变世界。欢迎收听《埃迪·威尔逊播客》，非常激动你今天能加入我们。

Welcome to the Impact Podcast. I'm Eddie Wilson, here to help you visualize what others cannot see, create opportunities where others have failed, and push you to build empires where once there was empty space. Let's embark on this journey together and make a difference in this world. Welcome to the Eddie Wilson podcast. Super excited for you to join us today.

这几天我一直在思考关于失败的概念。要知道，现实是每个人——只要你是人类——都会失败，对吧？人生不可能不经历失败。尽管有些完美主义者可能抗拒这个想法，他们希望过一种没有失败的人生，但失败本就是人类体验的一部分。但我认为，我们对失败这一人类体验的认知，真正决定了我们下一次的成功或失败。

What's been on my mind, for the last few days is this concept of failure. You know, the reality of it is that every person, if you're human, fails, right? It's impossible to go through life without failure. Even though some perfectionists may push against that thought, they want to live a life without failure, it's a part of the human experience. But I believe that our perception on the human experience of failure really determines our next success or failure.

我相信失败可分为两类。第一类是偶发性失败，我稍后会解释。第二类是系统性失败。让我深入阐述一下。偶发性失败其实只是时间长河中的短暂瞬间。

I believe that failure falls into one of two categories. Number one, you can have a failure that's episodic, and I'll explain that in a second. Number two, you can have a failure that's systemic. So let me dive into that. So an episodic failure is really just a brief moment in time.

可以想象成你在看电视，这只是一整天节目中的三十分钟情景喜剧。而系统性失败则是根植于我们性格、DNA或本质中的东西。当我们回顾人生中的失败——无论是商业、人际关系、体育还是其他领域——在那个时刻，你会开始判断这属于偶发性还是系统性失败。基于这种认知，这个失败会以某种方式植入你的潜意识。它在你潜意识中的存在方式决定了你会选择：要么拒绝它并远离这次失败，从中学习成长避免重蹈覆辙；要么开始完善自我，或者让它成为你身份的一部分。

Think of it as like you're watching TV, it's just a thirty minute sitcom episode out of an entire day's worth of content. Systemic would be something that is innate or part of our character, our DNA, our makeup. So I think in our failures as we go through life, so if thinking through like whatever failures you've had, business, relationships, sports, you know, whatever it is, if you look back at that moment, you began to perceive in that moment whether it was episodic or whether it's systemic. You began to look at it, and based on your perception of that failure, it began to seat inside of your subconscious. And the way that it seats inside of your subconscious means that you either reject it and you move away from that failure, you learn from it, you grow, you don't fail again, or you begin to perfect, or it becomes a part of who you are.

它成为你的性格特征，成为你的天花板，成为你的身份标识。因此如果我们以正确视角看待失败，明白这不过是时间洪流中的一瞬，而非我的本质，就能在接连失败中保持前进。

It's your character. It's now your ceiling. It is your identity. And so if we look at our failure and we go from failure to failure, and we look at that failure with the right perspective, this is just a moment in time. It's not who I am.

它让我们的潜意识得以释放这种想法，告诉自己这不是我的本质特征，因此我不必继续走这条路。然而，如果在潜意识里我们开始接受这些观念——这就是我，这是我的构成，因为没投进那个三分球所以我不是三分射手，因为没谈成那笔大单所以我不是能搞定大生意的人——这些想法就会真正塑造我们对自我的认知。当这种认知根植于潜意识时，几乎不可能摆脱。此时你不得不进行潜意识的重构，试图去除这些已成为我们系统组成部分的东西。

It allows our subconscious to kind of release it and say, this is not my identity, so therefore I don't have to continue in this path. However, if inside of our subconscious, we began to seek these ideas of this is who I am, this is my makeup, I'm not a three point shooter because I didn't make that three point shot. I am not a person who always seals the big deal or closes the big deal because I didn't just close that one. It begins really create this perception of who we are, and then when it seats inside of our subconscious, it's almost impossible to get rid of. Now you're kind of doing subconscious remapping to try to remove those things that have become so systemic to us.

因此我认为，有意识地看待失败并认定正在经历的挫折不会定义我这个人，这非常重要。这只是阶段性的，是时间长河中的短暂瞬间。

So I think it's really important for us to look at our failures with intentionality and decide that this failure that I'm going through isn't something that's going to define me. It is episodic. It's just a brief moment in time.

也就是说，任由失败来定义自己。嗯。我觉得很多人都会陷入这种状态。那么，你能想到生活中有没有具体事例——比如这种情况发生了，你是如何改变的？或者有没有什么特别的事件让你开始思考这个问题？

So, like, allowing your failures to define you. Mhmm. Like, I think a lot of people fall into that. Right. Is there anything in your life you can think of where, like, that happened and how you changed that or anything in particular, any event that made you start thinking about this?

当然有。高中时我篮球打得非常好，这是我的自我认知。正因为我认为自己很优秀，所以那些小失误——投丢的球、失误的传球——并不会定义我。但进入大学后，当我看到那些在我看来比我更强的人时，每次失误都成了我的标签。当你开始参加大学级别的篮球比赛，在新球队里，一次传球失误突然就变成了'别传给我，因为我不如你'的证明。

Sure. When I was in high school, I was very, very good at basketball and that was my perception. And because my perception was that I was good, then all of those small failures, a missed shot, you know, a turnover, they didn't necessarily define me. And when I got into college and I watched everybody else who were in my perception better than me, then every failure became who I was, right? The introduction of the new team as you're beginning to play basketball at maybe a collegiate level, all of a sudden the failure of a turnover becomes, Oh, you can't give the ball to me because I'm not as good as you.

我可能会丢球，我投不进那个球，所以你就比我强，我就是那个靠不住的人。有趣的是，这确实终结了我的篮球生涯。因为这种认知变成了——我在高中很出色，在大学却不行。

I might turn the ball over. I didn't hit that shot, and so therefore you're better than me, and I'm the guy that you can't count on. Right? And it's interesting that in my life that really was the end of the basketball career, right? It's like because it became that perception, like I was good in high school and I wasn't good in college.

我认为我人生中太多事情都是这样被决定的。回首往事，你会觉得有点可笑，比如，我本可以做得更完美吗？我本可以成长吗？我本可以变得更好吗？我本可以克服那些小小的失败吗？

And I think that so much of my life is determined that way. And you go back and, you know, it's like, that's kind of silly, you know, like, could I have perfected? Could I have grown? Could I have gotten better? Could I have overcome those small failures?

是的，当然。我本可以在大学里表现得更好。但有趣的是，我们的认知如何开始照亮我们道路上的每一步。不过在商业方面，我持相反的看法。

Yeah, sure. Certainly. I could have probably did well in college. But it is interesting how much our perception begins to illuminate the steps on our pathway. I think of it in the opposite way when it comes to business, though.

当我卖掉第一家公司时，收购方以非常恶劣的方式占了我的便宜，因为我不懂出售企业的流程。他们精通此道。按理说，我本可以自认倒霉，认定自己就是那个被坑害、错失良机的倒霉蛋。但在同样的过程中，我通过自我认知的调整，决定绝不做任人宰割的角色。

When I sold my first business, I was taken advantage of in a major way by the person who was buying my business because I did not understand the process of selling a business. They did. They were masters at it. And for me, that same process, I could have identified myself as the guy who got taken advantage of and squandered the great opportunity. But in that same kind of process, I was working through perception of who I was, and I determined that I would not be the guy who would get taken advantage of.

我要成为那种把挫折视为插曲的人。这只是时间洪流中的一个小片段，我要将其转化为前进的催化剂——通过感恩之心发现：这次经历其实给了我学习的机会。于是我决心要变得和他们一样强。既然他们更擅长这个游戏，那我就开始钻研这个游戏。

I would be the guy that that was episodic. It was this small piece in time, and I would use that as a catalyst to find so through gratitude, found like, well, that actually gave me the opportunity to learn a lesson. And then I determined that I was going to be as good as them. They played the game better. And so I began to play that game.

所以现在，经历了一百多次企业并购后，我已经精通了这个流程。但这一切都源于我如何定义失败中的自己。两次失败对吧？高中篮球、大学篮球的失败，但我沉溺其中了。

So now 100 plus exits later in business, it's like I have perfected the process. But really it goes back to how did I identify myself in the failure? Two failures, right? Like high school basketball, college basketball, failure. But I lived in it, right?

可能至今还残留着些阴影。第一次重大商业失败——出售公司时被压价宰割，我决心绝不让这成为我的标签。那只是雷达图上的一个小光点，我要修正它。如今这个决心已推动我在该领域取得巨大成功。

And probably still have some of the residual. First big failure in business, selling a company, leaving so much money on the table being taken advantage of, I determined that wasn't gonna be me, right? That was just a small blip on the radar. I'm gonna go fix that. And now it's catapulted me to massive success in that area.

这种认知模式确实会持续显现，随着时间推移不断强化。就像开始滚动的雪球，往往等你注意到时，它已经大得无法忽视了。

So it definitely plays out and it plays out over time. And I believe it's like a snowball that starts rolling. And oftentimes you don't even recognize that it's there until it's so big you can't avoid it.

我有两个问题。你如何复盘这些人生选择，并决定不让它们定义你？或者说，你如何区分阶段性失败和系统性失败？

A couple questions. How do you introspect and go through go back to these choices you have and then kind of decide like how you don't allow it to define you? Or what's the difference? Or how do you know the difference between an episodic failure and a systemic failure? Yeah,

我认为必须回溯观察自己的行为模式。如果你审视自己的行为，会发现大多数行为都与潜意识相关。我的教练拉里·雅赫特——她写过领导力著作《CL团队领导者》，每周都为我做个人辅导。我们正在破解那些我自己都未察觉的潜意识反应。

I think that you have to go back and look at your behaviors. Your behaviors, if you look at your behaviour, you begin to see that most behaviours are tied to our subconscious. My coach, Larry Yacht, she wrote the book on leadership, CL Team Leaders. She works for us, but I use them as a personal coach on a weekly basis. What we're working through in my life is those subconscious reactions that I'm unaware of.

我们通过行为表现来观察这些潜意识。比如：我回避风险是因为潜意识里的自我设限，还是我在主动寻找机遇不被潜意识束缚？我们每周都在剖析这些问题，大多数对话都围绕潜意识展开，就是要挖掘那个真正的自我。关于意识与潜意识的统计数据多到惊人。

And the way that we look at them is through my behavior, right? Like, am avoiding risk because my identity is tied to this like subconscious construct that I have, or am I pushing forward to find the opportunity because I'm not allowing that subconscious construct to hold me back? And we work through that every single week and most of our conversations are about the subconscious. It's about trying to find, you know, the identity. It's like, and there's so many stats on the conscious versus subconscious.

你看，对我们来说，有意识的大脑每分钟可能做出大约七个决定，对吧？但在潜意识里，却是成千上万个决定。心脏跳动、肺部呼吸，甚至包括上班走哪条路、穿什么衣服这些日常选择。生活中大多数决定并非由意识大脑刻意主导，而是潜意识在运作——它的存在就是为了维持我们的生命与安全。

Like, you know, for us, you might make like seven decisions a minute in your conscious brain, right? But in your subconscious brain, it's thousands of decisions. It's your heart beating, it's your lungs breathing, and oftentimes it's which direction you go to work, it's what clothes you put on. Most decisions we're making in life are not necessarily with the intent of our conscious brain taking over. It's our subconscious brain and our subconscious exists to keep us alive and keep us safe.

所以当你回溯那些非偶发性的时刻时，我们认为这些经历已系统性地根植于潜意识，形成了潜意识的创伤。潜意识会说：让我来保护你安全。因此每次遇到相似情境时，我们就会产生连自己都意想不到的反应——因为那些记忆根本没有经过意识层面的思考。

So you go back to those moments where they weren't episodic, we believe that they were systemic, it seats inside of our subconscious, it creates a subconscious trauma. Our subconscious says, well, let me keep you safe. Therefore, every time we come in contact with this exact situation, we're gonna react, you know, in a way that maybe I wouldn't intentionally react because I'm not consciously thinking about those moments.

那么当你自己经历所谓的失败时，你会如何应对？能否详细说说你的处理步骤？

So for yourself, when you experience like what you perceive as a failure, how do you keep yourself or like how do you walk me through like what are the steps you do like?

当然可以。我的系统性步骤首先是承认失败。我认为'人生没有失败只有教训'这种说法并不准确——失败就是失败，对吧？

Sure, yeah. So the systematic steps that I go through are number one, accepting that it was failure. I think that it's a misnomer to just say there are no failures in life. They're just teaching lessons. They're failures, right?

比如投资亏损这种情况。虽然可以说'这一百万美元亏损买了个昂贵教训'的积极解读，但说实话这种说法毫无帮助。

Like there are things when things don't go right. Like there's investments that go bad, right? And I like the positivity and the spin on, well, that investment, so I lost a million dollars. That was a million dollar educational lesson. I think that is helpful at all.

我更倾向于直面现实：没错这就是失败，投资结果与预期不符。但这不会定义我的人生。只要确信道路正确，我会继续前行，让结果自然呈现。

I think oftentimes looking at it and going, no, no, that was failure. It didn't go right. That investment did not go the way I wanted it to. And that's okay because it's not going to define me. I'm going to continue to go down this path if I believe that it's the right path, and the outcomes I'm going to allow to take care of themselves.

通过持续优化决策，我能逐步改善结果。所以关键在于：确认失败→接纳事实→拒绝被失败定义→立即采取下一个正确行动。

I can gradually get better to begin to I can, you know, start to help supplement the outcome or begin to create a different or better outcome based on the decisions I'm making as I go down that pathway. So for me, it's very much about identifying the failure, agreeing with it. It is failure. It didn't go the way I wanted it to. Then making that determination that that failure isn't going to define me, and then beginning to take the next right action, right?

生命的真谛就在于持续做出下一个正确选择和行动。我们总纠结'二十年后的规划''如何成就伟业''怎样活得有意义'——其实所谓有意义的人生，就是每个当下都做出有觉知的选择。

Like life is all about taking the next right action, the next right choice, right? So many times we get so locked into what am I going to do in twenty years? How am I going to get to this great grandiose amazing thing in my life? How do I live a life of purpose? How you live a life of purpose is whatever the next right choice, the next right action in your life is, it's being purposeful and making that.

很多问题都会在这个过程中自然消解。

A lot of the things begin to eliminate and take care of themselves.

确实，这让我想到很多人就像开启了自动驾驶模式，活得毫无觉知。

Yeah, this has come up a couple times where people are sort of on auto drive, like not intentionally living.

没错。如果思考生活中的自动驾驶模式，这又回到：如果你的潜意识在做出成千上万的决定，而你的意识大脑只做很少决定，当你处于自动驾驶状态时，你的潜意识会为你做出选择，并根据保护你安全的准则来行动。有时在这种创伤中，我们做出的选择并不符合自身最大利益，但潜意识认为这是在保护我们。

Right. If you think about autopilot in life, again it goes back to if your subconscious is making thousands of decisions and your conscious brain is making very few, if you are on autopilot, your subconscious is going to make choices for you and it's going to act on your behalf based on keeping you safe. And sometimes in that trauma, we're making choices that are not in our best interest, but our subconscious believes that it's keeping us safe.

人们为何对失败如此抵触？对我来说可能是羞耻感，或害怕做错事，或觉得自己不够好。你怎么看这个问题？我认为——

What are some of the reasons people act so adversely to failure? Because for me it's like shame or like not wanting to do the right thing or not being enough, and I think What are your thoughts on that? I think

这源于人类追求完美表象的欲望。如果我真实地活着，我就是有缺陷的。确实会经历失败，有些事让我不自豪、不喜欢、想要改进。我认为克服这些生活中想改变之事的最快方式，就是保持真实，撕下伪装的面具。

it goes back to this human desire to put a facade above perfection. If I live in true authenticity, I am flawed. Like, do have failures. I do have things that I'm not proud of, that I don't like, that I want to get better. And I think the quickest way to overcome those things in our life that we want to overcome, it's about being authentic and it's about taking down the veneer.

人们不愿面对失败，是因为不想承受失败的羞耻，他们想维持完美的假象，假装一切尽在掌握。但这恰恰是获得成功最大的障碍。成功的最大催化剂是直面镜中的失败。如果你想减掉10磅，就每天看着镜中的身体告诉自己：是时候采取行动了。对吧？

People just don't want to be in failure because they don't want the shame of failure because they really want to keep the veneer up that they're perfect, that they have it all together. But in that, that's the greatest roadblock to actually finding success. The greatest catalyst to success is looking at that failure in the mirror. If you want to lose 10 pounds, look at your body every single day in the mirror and tell yourself it's time to do something about it. Right?

我读过很多关于人们生活中挣扎的故事，他们费尽周折逃避直面问题。无论什么问题都如此。想想所有你想克服的困难——如果你能坦然接受它，真实面对它，自然就能要么接纳它，要么改变它。

I've read so much about people that struggle with certain things in their life and what lengths they go to to avoid the actual seeing of the problem, right? And it doesn't matter what it is. Think about every issue that you'd love to overcome. If you will get okay with it, be authentic about it, then you naturally can either accept it or you can do something about it.

常有人说要发挥天赋、扬长避短。如何判断某件事是暂时性还是系统性问题？因为有时候就该及时止损。比如你大概永远做不到扣篮。对吧。

You often hear like, play to your genius, play to your strengths. How do you determine if something is episodic or systemic? Because at some point, it's like, you should cut your losses. You're probably not going be able to dunk. Right.

是的，我认为这可能是判断事情本质的终极测试。就像如果你确实没有某种能力——我常说的可传递特质与不可传递特质——有些事我能通过模仿他人做到，但有些完全超出我的能力范围。比如四十多岁的我，已经不可能跑出去扣篮了。

Yeah, I think that, you know, that's probably the ultimate test of like whether it's episodic or systemic. You know, like if you don't have the actual ability, and I talk a lot about communicable traits and non communicable traits, right? Like there are things that I can mimic and mirror and watch somebody else do, I can do them. And then there are some that it's just outside of my scope of ability. Know, in my mid-40s, I don't have the ability to run out and dunk a basketball anymore.

我也没能力在五分钟左右跑完一英里，这就是我的客观限制。这些属于系统性问题，但我不认为这些是失败，只是局限。活在自身局限范围内。

I don't have the ability to run a mile even close to five minutes, right? It's just like I have these constraints. Those would be systematic, but those systematic, you know, I wouldn't call those failures. They're just limitations, right? And living within my limitation.

失败应该是尝试某事却未达成。我认为认清自身局限并与之共处，反而是种力量。了解我是谁，明白自己能做什么，真实地在局限中生活，反而让我成为更强大的人。

A failure would be attempting something and not achieving. I think that understanding my own limitations and living within them, I think is a strength. I think understanding who I am, understanding what I'm capable of, and living inside of my own limitations with authenticity actually makes me a very powerful human being.

对失败作为过程的一部分有什么看法？更大的失败甚至在于连尝试都不敢。

Any thoughts on failing as a part of the process? The bigger failure is not even attempting.

是的，绝对如此。最大的失败是不去尝试那些你认为自己注定要做或渴望去做的事情。那才是更大的失败。为了避免失败而不去尝试，才是终极的失败。我认为，在审视自我时，你必须接受自己擅长和不擅长的事情。

Yeah, absolutely. The greatest failure is not attempting whatever it is that you believe you're called or you desire to do. That is a greater failure. Not attempt for the sake of avoiding failure is the ultimate failure. Yeah, I think that in doing some kind of introspective look at who we are, you have to get okay with what you're good at and what you're not good at.

我认为最有害的事情之一就是问自己：我为世界带来了什么美好？然后回答‘没有’，对吧？我觉得很多人都有这种感受。其实我们每个人都有所长，都有能为社会、为这个世界做出贡献的东西。

I think one of the most detrimental things you could do is ask yourself, what do I bring good into the world? And say nothing, right? And I think so many people feel that way. All of us have something. All of us have something to contribute to, you know, or something to contribute to society, to this world.

我深信自己是被造之物，坚信造物主上帝的存在。我的信仰体系让我相信生命的意义超越单纯的存在，我觉得自己被创造是有目的的。基于这个信念，我很难接受这样的推论：如果我是为某个使命而被创造，那么我必然被赋予了完成它的能力。因此我认为‘人生目标’这个概念是真实存在的。

And I very much believe that I am a created being. I very much believe in a creator God. I very much have this faith based construct and I feel like there is greater meaning than just existence, you know, and I feel like I was created for something. And in that thought, it's hard for me to then dissect down that if I was created for something that I must be equipped with the tools to do it. So the way that I look at it is I think that there is kind of this concept of purpose.

我该做什么？我被创造来做什么？我的使命是什么？我存在的意义何在？接着我们必须审视自己被赋予的才能。

What do I do? What am I created to do? What's my intent? Why do I exist? And then I think we have to look at the tools that we've been given.

我认为真诚面对自己与生俱来的才能，这些才能往往就服务于那个目标。比如如果我让儿子去给自行车轮胎打气，却不给他工具，那太残忍了。但如果我给他气泵并示范如何操作，这就是在装备他。在我看来，造物主就是这样与我们同工的。

And I think that getting authentic with the tools you've been given typically serve right inside of that purpose. Know, if I told my son, Hey, I want you to go, you know, fill up the tire on your bicycle, and then I just sent him out there without the tools, would be a little cruel. But if I sent him out and I said, Hey, there's this little black stem and here's the pump and you put this on here and you begin to pump it, It's like, and I equipped him, right? Then now it's like we're working in tandem together. And so, you know, for me, that's how I look at the Creator God.

我相信自己带着使命来到这个世界。如果说你有使命却不赋予你实现它的能力，那就太残酷了。因此我认为每个人都有使命，都有与生俱来的天赋或才能。我们的责任就是去认识、磨练这些天赋，充分发挥它们，而不是总盯着自己不具备的能力。

I feel like I have a purpose. I live here for a purpose. And it would be fairly cruel to say you have a purpose and yet I haven't equipped you to actually accomplish something. And so I feel like all of us have a purpose. I feel like all of us have innate geniuses or tools that are built in that it is our responsibility as we live on this earth to understand them, to hone them, to make the best of them, and to not always focus on the things that I am not equipped to do or the things that I am just not equipped for.

我常说我有核心价值观念，比如诚实、正直、激情。此外还有‘志向价值观’，比如慷慨。我父亲的核心价值观就是慷慨——我见证过他无数次默默捐出巨款，那种发自本能的给予。

I always say that I have these core values and my core values are very much honesty, integrity, passion. I say that there's also aspirational values. One of my aspirational values is giving. My father, I would say his core value is giving. I've watched him give thousands and thousands of dollars away when nobody else is looking, they don't know about it, and he can't help it.

只要看到需要，他就会去满足。我天生不具备这种特质，但这是我渴望培养的品格。你可以从我的非营利工作中看到些影子，我一直在建立机制提醒自己这些志向。当然，每个人也都有不擅长的领域。

It's just like, if there's a need, he is somehow serving that need. I don't naturally do that, but it's an aspirational goal that I want to. I want it to be a part of me. And so you see some of that come out in the nonprofits, but I am constantly working on mechanisms to remind me of those aspirations. And then you've got, in my opinion, then you have things that you're just not great at.

比如对我来说就是共情能力。无论多努力，我总难将他人的痛苦与自身经历联系起来，无法真正理解。

Right? One of those things is for me, it's empathy. Right? Like, I wish that I was good at it. No matter how hard I try, I don't always just like associate the pain and the struggle that people go through into my own life, and I don't understand it.

有时人们甚至会因我缺乏共情而沮丧。因为这确实不是我的强项，既非核心天赋，也非真正追求的品格，而是我始终挣扎的领域。所以我选择坦诚谈论这个弱点。

And, I think sometimes, people may even get frustrated at me because I don't show empathy. And it's just because it's really not my strength. It's not my core genius, it's not even a true aspirational goal. It's one of those things I just struggle with so much. So what I do is I speak about it.

我对此很坦诚。人们经常听我谈论，比如，我在人际关系上真的很挣扎。我很难感受到他人的感受。我专注、具体、有目的性。而这有时带来的副产品就是，我不理解其他人正在经历什么。

I get real about it. People oftentimes hear me talk about like, you know, really struggle with relationships. I struggle to feel what others are feeling. I'm focused, I'm specific, I'm intentional. And the byproduct of that sometimes is I'm not understanding what everybody else is going through.

我认为重要的是我们要正视这一点。如果你看看我的价值观、我的技能组合以及我所拥有的工具，再看看我的目标，你会发现它们之间是完全一致的。

And I think it's just important that we get right with it. And I think if you look at all those, my values and my skill sets and the tools that I've been given, and then you look at my purpose, it's like there's direct alignment in all of that.

有些人让失败定义了自己。而我直接想到的是，上帝不会创造失败者。

Some people let their failure define them. I too straight went to, well, God didn't make failures.

你知道

You know

我的意思吗？所以，不要让我们的失败定义你，因为你真的不是失败者。

what mean? So it's like, don't allow our failures to define you because truly you're not.

我很喜欢这个观点。我想重申一下，因为这也是我的核心信念之一。我不认为上帝创造了失败者，对吧？我认为他是带着意图创造了人，并赋予了他们能力。因此，如果你从一个失败走向另一个失败，我的信念是，这往往与缺乏目标有关。

I love that. And I'd love to restate that because that is a part of my core belief system. I don't think God did make failures, right? Like I think he created intent and intentionally created and equipped people. And so therefore, if you're going failure to failure to failure, my belief is that oftentimes it's tied to a lack of purpose.

我认为这是对自我和自身能力、身份的不真实，以及这些之间的不一致，对吧？比如，我是为什么被创造的？我拥有什么工具？我称之为社会枷锁。这些社会枷锁，无论是通过社交媒体还是他人，开始塑造我们感到必须遵从的身份。

I think it's a lack of authenticity to self and what I'm equipped to do and who I am and an alignment in those, right? Like, what was I created for? What tools do I have? And, you know, I call them social chains. You know, the social chains that just hook into us, whether it's through social media or others, began to create identities that we feel so beholden to.

这些社会变化牢牢锁住了我们。我们觉得必须维持这种形象，因为社会希望我们成为这样。但你知道，社会可能希望你成为这样，但如果那不是真正的你，我认为活出真实的自己是可以的，不要再让社会约束、社会变化定义你是谁。这非常有害。随着年龄增长，我感受到的社会枷锁越来越少。

And those social changes lock into us. We feel like we have to hold up this like society wants me to be this. It's like, well, you know, society may want you to be this, but if that's not who you are, I think it's okay to live inside of who you are and stop allowing the social constraint, the social change to define who you are. It's so detrimental. And I see it the older I get, the less social chains I feel.

我想，比如我的十几岁的儿子，还有那些正在上大学的孩子，他们对此感受非常非常深刻。

I think, you know, my teenage son, you know, kids, that are going through college, they feel that in a really, really big way.

我来自一个更偏向艺术的背景，比如平面设计师和摄影师。我注意到有一个我认识的女孩，她是摄影师，总是穿着非常张扬的服装。

Coming from more of an artistic background with, like, graphic designers and photographers, I noticed there was a girl I knew, she was a photographer, who would wear very loud outfits.

嗯。

Mhmm.

就是那样。我和她一起参加活动时，我在拍摄东西，而她每天能收到二三十次赞美。我常想为什么，因为她冒了很大风险。我觉得人们潜意识里是钦佩这种勇气的。

So out there. And I would be at events with her. I'd be shooting things, and she got more compliments by people, like twenty, thirty times a day. And I think I often wondered why because it's like she was taking such a big risk. And I think people subconsciously admire that.

你刚才提到社会枷锁。我认为太多人活在他们自以为应该成为的样子里。嗯。当他们看到有人挣脱束缚，真实做自己且毫不掩饰时，内心其实是羡慕的。嗯。

And you were just talking about social chains. I think so many people just live by what they perceive they should be. Mhmm. That when they see someone break away and just be authentically them and not be on a part or be unapologetic about it, like, secretly admire it. Mhmm.

他们会攻击它。他们自己或通过他人攻击这种行为，但心底里其实是钦佩的，不知道你能否理解。

They'll attack it. They'll attack it themselves and others, but they really secretly admire it, if that makes sense.

我想是的。我们都会这样。你知道，这就是为什么我喜欢特立独行的人。他们是我在地球上最喜欢的人群，因为你看到他们突破了常规，而我认为这正是我们都需要做的，才能成为最高版本的自己。我们必须挣脱他人期待的束缚，挣脱关于该如何生活、如何穿衣、如何行事的桎梏。看到稍微出格的事物时，我会感到欣慰。

I think they do. I think we all do. You know, like when we see that's why I love eccentric people. Eccentric people are my favorite people on the planet, because what you see is them breaking out of the norm, and it's what we all need to do to, I believe, be our highest self. Like, I think that we have to break away from the constraint of what everyone else expects us to be, how we should live, how we should dress, how we should you know, it's like and when you see something that's a little bit eccentric, to me, it's gratifying.

就像感到一种解脱——哇，他们做到了，不在乎别人的看法。他们没有活在既定的社会框架里。纵观历史，那些最了不起的人物往往都是打破社会常规的人。有本书讲到历史上许多伟大领袖都有各种异常特质，有时这些特质反而成为优势，让他们能以不同视角看世界。

It's like I feel a sense of relief, like, wow, they've done it, you know, like they don't care what everyone else thinks. They're not living inside of the construct of what's expected of them. I think when you look at history, some of the most amazing people in history are the ones that have broken outside of social norms. There's a book out that talks about how many disorders a lot of the greatest leaders in history have. And I think sometimes those disorders have actually become a benefit to that person because it allows them to see the world differently.

或许这让他们能超脱于普遍认知的现实。看看那些特立独行的人，比如史蒂夫·乔布斯——极度另类。我有次去他办公室，整个空间就三样东西，令人震撼。再看看理查德·布兰森，同样不拘一格。

Maybe it allows them to be outside of a perceived reality. If you look at the eccentric ones, the Steve Jobs, I mean, like super eccentric. You know, I got the chance to go to his office one time and just blown away. I had like three things in his whole office, just super eccentric. You look at Richard Branson, super eccentric.

埃隆·马斯克也极其特立独行。追溯历史，拿破仑·波拿巴更是极度反常。这条路上的人...我觉得我们太多人害怕突破，还是因为那层表象。但真正突破的人，往往活出了超越预期的生命。我想要过一种超凡的人生，明白吗？

Elon Musk, super eccentric. And then you go down through history, it's like Napoleon Bonaparte, extremely eccentric. It's like you go down this path, and I think that so much of who we are is afraid to break out, and it goes back to that veneer. But the people that do are always the ones that live a life that seems to transcend what they were even intended to do. I want to live a transcendent life, right?

我希望当别人都在做某件事时，大家会说'天啊，埃迪在那高处'或'他在常规之外'。我认为真正的成功就在常规之外。

Like I want everybody to be like, well, everybody else is doing this and geez, Eddie's up here, or he's out here, like he's outside of the norm. I think that's where true success lies, is outside of the norm.

所以我的想法是：如果你过普通生活，就会得到普通结果。是的。而如果你要跳出框架，过另类或超凡的生活...嗯...你可能要经历失败，必须做好准备。

So the thought I have is if you live a normal life, you're gonna have normal results. Yeah. And then also, if you're gonna go out of the box and have an eccentric or a transcendent life Mhmm. You're probably gonna have some failures and you have to be ready for that.

当然。

Sure.

我有两个问题。嗯。第一，你如何看待‘成功之后更容易接受失败’这个观点？

I kinda have two questions. Mhmm. One, what are your thoughts on it's easier to be okay with failure after you've had success?

嗯。然后那确实容易多了。

Mhmm. And then That's so much easier.

第二个问题是你之前提到过一点，从上帝和我们作为他的孩子开始。嗯。然后是你和你的孩子们。嗯。我是个年轻爸爸，我想知道你作为领导者和父亲，如何装备你的家庭、孩子和员工。嗯。当遭遇失败时，如何不让失败定义他们。

And then the next one is you kinda touched on it earlier when you started with God and us as his children Mhmm. And then you and your children. Mhmm. I'm a young dad, and I wanna know your thoughts on as a leader, as a father, how do you equip your family, your children, your employees Mhmm. To when they have a failure to not let it define them.

嗯。是的。我认为成功之后经历失败会容易得多，因为更容易将成功锚定为自我认同。我最喜欢的书之一，蒂姆·格罗弗的《赢》，他讲的就是你与赢的关系。如果你渴望赢并且已经体验过赢，就更容易复制它。

Mhmm. Yeah. I think it is so much easier to go through a failure after success because it's easier to anchor into the success as my identity. One of my favorite books of all time, Tim Grover, the book Winning, And what he talks about is your relationship with winning. If what you desire is to win and you have been able to experience a win, it's so much easier to replicate it.

在我们集体影响力和其他我参与的组织招聘时，我经常强调。前几天我刚和HR说，面试时我想知道他们人生中赢过什么？不在乎是小联盟棒球赛还是拼字比赛。我需要知道他们是否有过成功锚点。

Part of the hiring process for when we hire at Collective Influence and the other organizations that I'm a part of, I'm constantly talking. I literally just talked to our HR person the other day, and I said, what I want to know in the interview is what have they won in their life? I don't care if it's a little league tee ball game. I don't care if it's a spelling bee. I want to know if there's an anchor back somewhere else, and it's that success.

作为父母，我认为关键是要为孩子寻找能获得成功的领域，让他们建立锚点。但问题是我们常会为孩子选择让我们自己感觉成功的道路。就像说‘我没获得想要的成就，所以要通过孩子实现’，于是强迫女儿参加啦啦队或儿子打篮球。

And so as a parent, I think it's so important that I find areas for my children to be successful in, to allow them to anchor into it. And the thing is, is we oftentimes will choose a path for our child to help us feel successful. As a parent, what we say is like, I didn't experience all the success I want, so let me live vicariously. And so we make our daughters go into cheerleading because we want to be a better cheerleader. We make our kids go into football or basketball or whatever it is.

而不是把他们看作拥有独特技能、天赋的个体。我七年级（其实是六年级）的儿子斯凯勒入选篮球队时，我特别骄傲。直到有天他说：‘其实我不喜欢篮球，是你想让我打。’那一刻我才意识到自己的自私。

And instead of looking at them as individual who has skills, gifts, talents, abilities, and giving them a success to anchor into, we make it a very selfish experience. I remember when my seventh grade son he's sixth grade, I'm sorry, Skyler. He made the basketball team. I was so proud of him because I love basketball. And one day he said to me, I don't actually like basketball.

虽然我坚持让他完成赛季，但开始问：‘你擅长什么？’那时我有间制片工作室，他总谈论影视创作。他从小画画就让人惊叹：‘这孩子画得与众不同’。后来我问他想要什么，他说：‘不知道，就是热爱视频’。于是我们给他买了摄像机。

I'm playing basketball because you want me to play basketball. It is a damn like, well, you need to be, you know, just like, you made the team, you need to do this. And and, you know, while I pushed him to finish out the sport that he I I began to ask the question, what are you good at? Well, at that time, had a production studio, and all he talked about was film and video and creative, and he was super creative. Like, you'd watch him draw as a kid, and you're like, Man, no little kid draws like you draw.

（承接上文）当他明确表达对视频的热爱后，我们立刻出去给他买了台摄像机。

Like, you have some creative skill here. And one day I said, What do you want to do? He was like, I don't know. I just I love to He's like, I love video. We went out and bought him a camera.

他开始记录和剪辑，视频现在还在YouTube上，如果他没有删除的话。那系列叫《我的六年级生活》。他每天带着相机去学校，开始用视频博客记录并自己剪辑。他会跑到我的工作室找剪辑师请教‘这段该怎么剪？’。我看着他从零学起，有时他会缠着剪辑师问个不停，把人家惹烦。

He began to chronicle and edit, and it's on YouTube, I think still, if he hasn't taken it down. It was called My Days in Sixth Grade. And he took a camera every day to school and he began to vlog and chronicle and edit his own. And he would go into my studio with my editors and be like, hey, how do I edit this? And I began to watch him, like, learn to edit and he would he'd bug him sometimes and irritate him.

但我觉得这太棒了。后来我给他买了台小电脑专门剪辑，结果他有条视频突然爆红，获得超百万播放量。我相信正是这个时刻奠定了他日后成功的基石。如今他经营着成功的制作公司，手下还有自己的员工团队。

But I, you know, I thought it was awesome. And bought him a little computer to edit on and he had this computer and he had a video go viral and over a million views. And that, I believe, was the moment that anchored him into success. Today, he has a successful production company. He has his own employees.

这孩子才22岁，我为他骄傲极了。追溯起来，一切都源于他早年的那次成功。如果我当初强迫他只走篮球这条路，他可能会充满挫败感，人生将举步维艰。但正因那次视频的成功，如今他遭遇失败都变得无关紧要。作为父母，最关键的是发现孩子的天赋所在，让他们体验成功并为之欢呼。

You know, he's 22 years old, super proud of him. And I think you anchor it all the way back into the success he had. If I would have forced him down the path of basketball, basketball, basketball, I think he would have been frustrated, and I think he would have really struggled. But I think because he had that win, that success, now his failures become inconsequential. As a parent, it is so vital that we find the genius of our child and let them experience success in it and celebrate it.

幸运的是，我二儿子爱上了篮球并取得不少成绩，这让我很欣慰。但我绝不认为这比大儿子在创意领域的成就更高。现在小儿子痴迷柔道空手道，同时也展现出创作天赋。与其强行规划他们的人生道路，我更关注的是：他们在哪个领域能获得最大成功？他们生来就该成为什么？

Thankfully, my second son, he got into basketball and he's had a lot of success in basketball and I love that. But I don't think that at all trumps the success that my older son had in the creative side. And now my youngest, he's really into jujitsu and karate and all that stuff, and he also has a creative side to him. So instead of kind of like really pushing them down these pathways, what I'm watching for is like, where can they have the greatest successes? What are they created to be?

我努力培养这些特质，让他们未来面对人生挑战时，能延续童年时期的成功体验。允许孩子找到属于自己的成功太重要了。最后我想说：我不认为自己是个好父亲。实际上我常感力不从心，为此付出极大努力。我思考如何当父亲可能比思考其他任何事情都多，因为觉得自己犯过太多错误，实在不愿搞砸。

And I'm trying to foster that so that their relationship later with the attempts that they make on life are tied to the successes they had as a child. I think it's so important that we allow our children to find success. One last kind of point on that is that I don't believe I'm a good dad. I actually really struggle and I work so, so hard at it. I probably think more about being a dad than maybe anything else in my life because I feel like I've made so many mistakes and I don't want to mess up.

你会觉得孩子是上天赐予的礼物，而最可怕的事莫过于把孩子的人生搞砸。搞砸其他事我都能接受，但若毁了孩子的人生，我真不知该如何挽回。况且孩子的行为模式大多是从父母身上模仿来的。

You you feel like they've been given to you as a gift And the last thing you want to do is somehow mess up your children. Like, that's a terrifying thought. I can mess up anything else in life and I think be okay with it. If you mess up your children, it's like, I don't know how you come back from that. And so much of it is learned behavior.

最令人沮丧的是，当你在青春期孩子身上看到某些缺点时，突然意识到‘这不就是我的翻版吗’，然后迫切想纠正他们——但这种做法往往适得其反。我从父亲身上学到最重要的一点（虽然受益良多）是：他虽未出席每场篮球赛、每场橄榄球赛，但在我人生每个需要他的时刻，他从未缺席。回顾往昔，我找不出任何一个需要他时他却不在场的时刻。

You know, so much of it is them mimicking who you are. And the most frustrating thing is having a teenager that you see the flaws in them and you're like, wait a minute, that's me, and all you want to do is correct it a lot, which isn't always a great thing either. But I will tell you that the one thing I learned from my dad, and I've learned so much from my dad, was my dad wasn't present at every single basketball game, every single football game, but my dad was present in the moments I needed him. I can't look back on my life and go, I really needed him. In that moment, he wasn't there.

但他确实没参与每场比赛。如今我们被某种育儿观念绑架了，觉得必须出席孩子每场活动、每次跌倒擦破膝盖都要在场。而我父亲给我的最宝贵礼物，恰恰是他追逐自己梦想的身影。

But he wasn't at every game. And I think somehow we've been forced into this structure of parenting, like, we have to be present at every game. We gotta be there at every moment. We've gotta, you know, be there at every time they fall down and scratch their knee. And I think the greatest gift my dad ever gave me was him chasing his dreams.

那些他没能来看球赛的时光里，我知道父亲正在追寻他认定的生命意义与使命。正是这份认知，消解了我日后追逐梦想时的恐惧。我认为他给我的最伟大礼物，就是他追逐梦想的榜样。每个孩子都值得拥有敢于追梦的父母，因为这样的榜样能赋予他们同样的勇气。

The moments that he wasn't with me during a basketball game, during a football game, what I knew about my father was he was in pursuit of what he believed his purpose and calling and life's work was. And because of that, it alleviated fear in my own life as I began to chase my own. And I think the greatest gift he gave me was him chasing his dreams. And I think that every child deserves to have their parents chase their dreams. Every child deserves to have a parent that's going hard after what they believe they're called and their purpose is, in life because what it'll do is it'll strengthen them to do the same.

这不正是世界需要的吗？一群宣告‘我要超越平庸，拒绝普通，全力以赴追求生命使命’的人。若没有这样的榜样在前，追梦之路将异常艰难；若没有早期成功作为支点，失败将令人难以承受。

And isn't that what we need is a bunch of people on the planet that are like, I'm gonna live above the norm. I'm not gonna be okay with normal results. I'm going hard after what I believe my purpose is, what I'm called to do with reckless abandon. And if you don't have that modeled for you, it's really hard to do it. If you don't have an early success to anchor it into, it's hard to deal with the failures.

这就是我育儿理念的总结，只有时间能证明一切，对吧？因为我们永远无法预知孩子的未来。我想这就是对我父母信念的最好归类。

And so that's if I summed up my parenting beliefs, and only time will tell, right? Like, because we never know how our kids are gonna turn out. I think that that's how you'd have to classify my my parental beliefs.

说到这个，我想到导师的重要性。嗯。你的圈子有多重要。成功确实具有传染性，就像某种特质一样。嗯。

Thoughts with that. I think of how important mentors are Mhmm. How important your circle is. And then there really is a contagious, like, aspect to success. Mhmm.

我职业生涯初期挣扎得很厉害，就像在拼命抓住任何机会。

I struggled so hard in the beginning of my career just, like, scrapping and scraping for anything.

嗯。

Mhmm.

后来我加入了犹他州的这个社群。嗯。环顾四周，发现人们都在做大事。实现这些目标的可能性突然变得触手可及。是的。

And then I got into this community in Utah. Mhmm. And I just looked around and the people are doing huge things. And just the reality of being able to do that just got way within hands reach or arms reach. Yeah.

这其中确有道理。我觉得安德鲁就有这种影响力，它就像——

And there's something to that. I think Andrew has that effect where it's

他确实如此。

like He does.

和安德鲁在一起时，突然间一切皆有可能。嗯。重要的是，你知道，首先你有父母，但之后需要找到导师——就像你儿子有工作室那样。当然。还有那里的编辑们，以及你周围的圈子。

When you're around Andrew, of a sudden anything's possible. Mhmm. The importance of, you know, first you have your parents, but then you need to find mentors like your son had the studio Sure. And the editors there, and then the circle around you.

嗯。是的。我认为每个人都需要两位导师。第一位导师会示范你想要的生活方式。我们生活中很多都是模仿行为。

Mhmm. Yeah. I think there's I think everyone needs two mentors. I think the first mentor is the one who will model the behaviour by which you want to live. So much of our life is model behaviour.

你看，我们通过身教来教育孩子，这其实贯穿一生。你必须接近某人。要么花钱请人指导，要么融入某个圈子，但你必须进入一个能示范你理想生活的地方。每个人需要的第二位导师，是能在你生活中极度诚实的人。他们不怕指出你的错误。

You know, we teach our children by showing our children, and that really doesn't change that much in life. You have to get around someone. You either have to pay someone to mentor, you have to be in a circle of people, but you have to get into a place where the life you want is being modeled. The second mentor everyone needs is one that exudes extreme honesty in your own life. They're not afraid to tell you when you're wrong.

大多数人并不具备这一点。所以他们只能不断做出错误的选择。我常说，在错误的时间采取正确的行动，最终依然会得到错误的结果，对吧？我认为如果一个人不愿意——如果我生命中没有人愿意坦诚地对我说‘嘿，埃迪，你那个选择’

Most people don't have that. So what they do is they continue to make bad choices. I always say that the right action at the wrong time still always gets you the wrong results. Right? And I believe that if someone is unwilling, if I have nobody in my life that's going to just be honest with me, Hey, Eddie, you made that choice.

‘那个决定并不明智’。那么接下来我的行为就会不断重复这种模式，导致我接连遭遇失败，明白吗？我需要一个能树立榜样的导师，也需要一个能纠正我的导师。我觉得这适用于我人生的每个阶段。我越成功，这样的人就越难找到。

That one wasn't a good choice. Then what happens is my behavior begins to replicate itself and I make failure after failure after failure, right? Like, I need a mentor that's going to model and I need a mentor that's going to correct. I think that goes for every phase of my life. The more success I have, the harder that is to find.

多数人认为，你越成功，就越难找到更高层次的成功人士，对吧？就像金字塔越来越窄。但更困难的是，你越成功，就有越多人从你身上寻找自我认同。他们渴望你肯定他们没问题、很优秀、很成功，而你很难找到愿意对你直言不讳的人。这就是为什么亿万富翁的生活往往最荒诞——因为他们身边没人会说‘知道吗？’

Most people want the more success you have, the harder it is to find people at the next level of success, right? Like the pyramid's getting smaller and smaller. But even harder than that is the more success you have, the more people look to you for their identity. And they're wanting you to tell them they're okay, that they're good, that they're successful, and you really struggle to find someone who will be honest with you. It's why you see the most erratic behaviour in the lives of billionaires, because they have no one in their life that'll just go, you know what?

‘这不是个好选择，简直糟透了。你不该这么做’。因为当你攀登得越高，到达金字塔顶端时，就有越多人需要从你这里获得认同感，所以他们不会对你说真话。

That's not a good choice. That's a horrible choice. You should not be doing that, you know? Because the higher you get on the ladder, the more you get to the top of that pyramid, it's like the more people need you for their identity. And so they won't be honest with you.

随着我在人生中不断取得成功，我最渴望的不是别的，而是一个能对我直言不讳的人。一个愿意告诉我‘这事不对劲’的人。这实在太难得了——这是我最为渴求的东西。实际上，我现在已不再渴望下一次成功，不渴望新业务、新订单、新财富，我真正渴望的是能对我说‘埃迪，埃迪，咱们谈谈’的朋友或导师。

It's like, I think as I have begun to continue to achieve success in my life, the thing that I want most, more than anything, is somebody that actually will be honest with me. Someone that actually will tell me, if something isn't right. It is so hard to it's the one thing I crave more than anything. I actually am to the point where I don't crave the next success. I don't crave the next business, the next sale, the next dollar, the next what I really crave is a friend or a mentor that'll just be like, Eddie, Eddie, let's let's talk.

让我对你坦诚相待吧，因为站得越高，这样的人就越难寻觅。

And let me be honest with you because the higher you get, the harder it is to find.

可能有点跑题，但这个人是否必须与你的成功毫无利害关系？如果他们能直接说‘嘿，这事与我无关’就容易多了，对吧？

This might be off topic, but does that person need to be not tethered to you, to your success then? It would be so much easier if they were just like, hey, I have no dog in the fight. Right.

我认为他们确实不能与你的成功有牵连。这就是为什么连管理员工都很困难。全国涌现出那么多CEO智囊团，就是因为俗话说‘高处不胜寒’，对吧？就像‘欲戴王冠必承其重’这类道理。

I think that they can't be tethered to your success. You know? It's why it's really hard to even deal with employees. Like, that's why the CEO masterminds have popped up all over the country is because it's really it's, you know, the whole adage is it's lonely at the top, right? Like, heavy is the head, the wears the crown, all those concepts.

这些智囊团的出现，我认为本质上是在寻找与自身成功无关的同类人。你的成败不会影响他们，这样才能获得真实的反馈。

And so these masterminds pop up, what they're really, I believe, looking for is identity with others that don't have a tether to their success. There is no bearing of whether you succeed or fail so that they can actually get true authenticity, honesty feedback.

其实我在德斯廷时，有次和妻子吃早餐，听到身后两位男士交谈。他说自己参加了一个组织——不知道他怎么描述的，听起来像智囊团，但成员都是年收入超十亿美元的企业，比如Target、百威淡啤。他们本质上是资源对接者。

Was down in actually, I was over in Destin. I was getting breakfast with my wife and I was listening to these two gentlemen have a conversation behind me. And he said he's a part of a I don't know how he described it. It sounded like a mastermind, but it's with companies who are grossing more than a billion dollars. So Target, Bud Light, and he they're basically connectors.

所以他提到，当塔吉特开始经历公关危机时，他提供了帮助。他们想联系百威淡啤的公关团队，请教他们是如何应对的。听到这些很有趣，原来连他们也会互相询问‘你们是如何渡过这类风波的’之类的问题。

So he was saying he helped when Target started going through their PR issue. They wanted to reach out to the PR team of Bud Light and ask them how they navigated that. And so it was very interesting to hear like, oh, even they are like asking each other how do you navigate these waters and things like And so

我曾与阿比餐厅和胡椒博士的一位前任CEO交谈过。这些年来我们算是朋友。有趣的是，当我跟他聊起这个时，他说：‘你的问题处在不同层级。’他还说：‘作为一家全球500强企业的领导者，最难找到的就是真正经历过你当前困境的人。那种层次的共鸣几乎不存在。’

had a conversation with one of the former CEOs of Arby's and Doctor Pepper. He's been a decent friend through the years. And it was interesting, as I was talking to him about that, he said, You know, your problems are at a different level. And he said, The hardest thing to find as a leader of an organization that's top 5,100, 500 is just someone that's actually gone through the same pain that you're going through. He said, You cannot find camaraderie at that level.

就像我常说的，在这个层级很难找到真诚。我认为更难找到共鸣，因为你的问题规模呈指数级大于他人。当别人还在处理百万级问题时，你的问题已是十亿量级。这无疑是孤独的——我在多数场合都显得格格不入。

And like I always say, it's tough to find honesty at the level. I think it's actually hard to find camaraderie because your problems are so exponentially larger than everyone else's. Your problems are in the billions when everybody else is in the millions. And it's a lonely place for sure. I don't fit in in a lot of scenarios I'm in.

我在Aspire会议上经常谈到这点。许多企业家对此深有共鸣：受邀参加晚宴时，当别人说‘我营收百万美元’，而你刚以十亿出售公司，你们根本不在同一对话维度，最后只能进行些无关痛痒的寒暄。

I talk about this at Aspire all the time. And a of entrepreneurs resonate with me when I say it, but it's like I don't fit in at the dinner parties I get invited They're like, well, I'm doing a million dollars in revenue. And then you're like, well, I sold a company for a billion dollars. It's just like what conversation do you have? So you end up on these base level conversations that don't matter.

这种处境有时极其痛苦。半数场合我都无法融入人群。当你终于找到一两个同类时，你会紧紧抓住他们——因为这里确实孤独。

It's extremely painful sometimes. I don't fit in the setting half the times. I don't fit in the I don't fit inside of most of the people. And so, like, you find that one or two, and, man, you you latch on to them, you know, because it it is a lonely place.

嗯。最近听到个说法：百万富翁转向世界，亿万富翁转向上帝。嗯。因为别无他选。

Mhmm. Recently heard, like, millionaires turn to the world, billionaires turn to God Mhmm. Because there is no one else.

是啊，这观点很深刻。对我来说，最珍视的事情之一就是去我们资助的孤儿院和救济中心服务。

Yeah. That's a fascinating concept. Yeah. Yeah. I think part of my one of my favorite things that I get to do is go to the orphanages and feeding centers in the countries that we serve for impact others.

他们完全不知道你是谁，不了解你的车祸经历，不关心你开什么车住什么房。即便他们需要你的帮助，却用最纯粹的方式与你交流。

They have no idea who you are. They don't know you've had an accident. They don't know what cars you drive, what house you have. They know nothing about you. You know, while they need something, they want something from you.

这种服务带来的满足感难以言喻。我甚至不想让他们知道我是基金会创始人，只想成为其中普通一员。曾派人在巴基斯坦暗访我们的救济站，只为确认善款使用得当。

It's like they talk to you at a different level. And, you know, for me, just being one of the people that are there to help serve is so gratifying. It's like, don't even want them to know that I'm the one that founded the organization, or it's like, want them just to be a part of it. I had a guy go to one of our locations in Pakistan just to check up on it I sent. He was always trying to make sure our dollars are being spent well, I asked a guy that was in Pakistan to just swing by and give me a report on it.

我让他在现场提几个问题，其中一个是：‘你知道埃迪·威尔逊是谁吗？’后来他回电说：‘埃迪，情况令人担忧...’

And, and I said, want you to ask a couple of questions when you get there. And he said, okay. And one of the questions was I wanted I said, I want you to ask, like, do you know who Eddie Wilson is? And, and so he called me back. He's like, Eddie, it's so concerning.

他说，你们有这么庞大的建筑，孤儿院。我问他，你知道埃迪·威尔逊是谁吗？他说完全不知道。他还说，这可能是个问题对吧？难道你不觉得他们应该知道资金从何而来吗？

He goes like, You have this massive building, orphanages. And I asked him, Do you know who Eddie Wilson is? He said, He had no clue. He's like, That's probably a problem, right? Like, don't you think that they should know where the money is coming from?

我当时就说，不，这绝对是故意的。这样很棒。因为对我来说，我不想建立一个以个人为中心的组织。你知道，一旦以某个人为中心，继承就会变得非常困难。没有继任者就没有传承，对吧？必须要有继任者才能实现真正的传承。

I was like, no, that's 100% intentional. It's awesome. Like, because for me, like, I don't want to do is build an organization that's so centered on a person, you know, that because you center something on a person, it's so hard for succession. There is no succession without a successor, right? Like you have to have a successor to have proper succession.

所以我越是能把自己从中抽离，越少关乎我个人，我就越确信走在正确的传承道路上。总有一天我要把这个组织传递下去。我很认同这点。如果每天必须做一件与失败相关的事，那就是记录它们。我们不愿沉溺其中，但需要有个地方承载这些失败。

And so the more I can remove myself out of it, like the less it is about me, the more I know I'm on the proper path to succession. Like I've got to pass the organization on someday. And I love that. If you had to do one thing every day with failure, it would be to chronicle them. You know, we don't want to live there, we don't want them, but we need a place where those failures exist.

有些人天生就倾向于翻篇忘记失败。那些失败是宝贵的教训，同时也能确保我们不会长期与之认同。我认为重要的是每天、每周、每月记录这些失败和成功。这样我们才能正确选择如何看待它，以及它如何在我们生命中生根。非常感谢大家参与埃迪·威尔逊播客。

Some of us are so predetermined to just like move on and forget about the failure. Those failures are great lessons, but also it allows us to make sure we're not identifying with them long term. I think it's important that we daily, weekly, monthly chronicle those failures along with our successes. And I think that in that we can make the right choice about how we're going to perceive it and how it's going to seed inside of our lives. Thanks so much for being a part of the Eddie Wilson podcast.

请在社交媒体上联系我，所有平台账号都是EddieWilsonOfficial。我仍然亲自管理所有社交账号并回复消息，很期待在那里与你们交流。非常感谢参与本期播客并收听，希望能进一步连接，你们可以在任何社交平台通过EddieWilsonOfficial找到我。

Please connect with me on social. All the social channels are EddieWilsonOfficial. I still manage and respond to all my socials, and I'd love to talk to you there. Thanks so much for being a part of the podcast and for listening today. Love to connect with you further and you can connect with me on social media EddieWilsonOfficial on any of the social media channels.