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您正在收听《与陌生人同床》播客节目。
You are listening to the In Bed With Strangers podcast.
请注意，本节目包含成人内容，仅适合18岁以上听众收听。
Please remember this show does contain adult content and is intended for listeners 18 years and older.
您听到的所有内容仅代表主持人的观点、意见和个人经历。
Everything you hear is based solely upon the views, opinions, and experiences of your hosts.
本节目仅供信息交流和娱乐目的。
This show is intended for informational and entertainment purposes only.
大家好。
Hi, everyone.
我是凯西。
I'm Casey.
我是杰森。
And I'm Jason.
今天我们要讨论的是'共享娇妻'这个话题。
And today, we are going to talk about hot wifing.
考虑到明天就是情人节，很多人会利用这个节日来探索一些特殊癖好，尝试平时不会做的性爱活动。
I figure Valentine's Day is tomorrow, and a lot of people use that holiday to explore some kinky fantasies and do sexual things that they normally wouldn't do otherwise.
我个人认为不需要专门用某一天来让性生活更有趣，但确实很多人是这样做的。
I don't feel like you need one day a year to make your sex life more interesting, but a lot of people out there do.
所以我觉得没有比'共享娇妻'更合适的话题了。
So I thought what better topic than hot wifing.
如果你对这个话题感兴趣想尝试，或者已经在实践但有些疑问，我们将大致讨论'共享娇妻'的基本概念。
So if this is something you've been interested in doing or trying or maybe you are doing it but you have some questions about it, We're kinda gonna go over just the basic aspects of hotwifing.
我们已经聊了很多关于我们个人的旅程以及在关系中做过的具体事情。
We've talked a lot about our personal journey and specific things that we have done in our relationship.
但今天，我们要更多地讨论一些需要考虑的不同事项，你可能想关注的不同步骤，诸如此类的内容。
But today, we're gonna make it a little more about just, like, the different things to think about, the different steps you might wanna focus on, and stuff like that.
所以重点不在于我们，而更多是关于‘hotwifing’这个概念的普遍理解，这样讲得通吧。
So it's less about us and just more about hotwifing in general, that makes sense.
哦，太好了。
Oh, goody.
因为我对尝试这个很感兴趣。
Because I'm interested in trying this out.
也许你今天能学到点东西。
Maybe you'll learn something today.
首先，我想从关于‘hotwifing’的两个误解开始。
So first, I wanna start with two misconceptions about hotwifing.
一个是有些人认为‘hot wife’这个词指的是女性的外貌。
One is that some people think the term hot wife refers to how the woman looks.
她必须火辣。
She has to be hot.
她必须有特定的体型或某种外表。
She has to be a certain body type or look a certain way.
但在这种生活方式中，当我们谈论‘hot wifing’时，它与女性的外表无关。
But in the lifestyle when we talk about hot wifing, it has nothing to do with the physical appearance of the woman.
我们描述的是她所处的这种关系动态，她正在参与的行为，诸如此类的事情。
We are describing the relationship dynamic that she's in, the behavior that she is engaging in, and stuff like that.
所以不要觉得你必须要有某种外表才能成为开放关系中的妻子。
So don't feel like you need to look a certain way to be in a hot wife relationship.
第二点我想说的是，从技术上讲，你不需要结婚也能成为开放关系中的妻子。
The second thing I wanna say is that you don't technically need to be married to be a hot wife.
当我们初次相遇约会时，虽然还没正式领证，但我们已经在实践开放关系的生活方式了。
When we first met and we were dating, we were living as a hot wife couple even though we didn't legally sign those papers yet.
所以这其实更多取决于你们的关系本质，而不是有没有结婚誓言和那张证书。
So it's really less about having your wedding vows and that document going versus just how your relationship is.
但我要说的是，在开放关系中，你需要与伴侣保持忠诚的承诺关系。
But I will say that hot wifing, you wanna be in a committed relationship with your partner.
你需要这样的基础，因为作为开放关系中的妻子参与三人行，与三个朋友单纯玩三人行是截然不同的。
You wanna have that foundation because being shared as a hot wife in a threesome is very different than just three friends having a threesome.
氛围完全不同，你们需要那种情感纽带和彼此归属感。
It's a very different vibe, and you need that emotional connection and that sense of belonging to each other.
不过确实如此。
But yeah.
所以你们完全可以只是保持长期稳定的伴侣关系。
So you could just be in a committed long term relationship with your partner.
可能你们同居。
Maybe you live together.
也可能没有。
Maybe you don't.
但我认为你们确实需要这种承诺，才能充分体验开放关系带来的完整感受。
But I think you really need to have that commitment going to get the full experience from the hot wife relationship.
在开始这段旅程前，有几点需要思考：你们为何想成为开放性关系夫妻？
Before you start your journey, a couple of things to think about are why do you wanna be a hot wife couple?
这是谁的主意？
Whose idea is it?
是男方的想法吗？
Is it the guy's idea?
是女方的想法吗？
Is it the woman's idea?
还是双方都对此感兴趣？
Is it something you're both interested in?
你们必须确保在行为动机和理由上达成共识。
You really wanna make sure that you are on the same page when it comes to your intention and your reasoning for doing things like this.
如果你内心并不真正接受，就不该被迫进入开放性关系。
You don't wanna be forced into a hot wife relationship if you're not really that open to it.
丈夫不该强迫妻子接受这种关系。
It's not something that the husband should be forcing the wife to do.
妻子也不该强迫丈夫允许她这么做。
It's also not something that the wife should be forcing the husband to let her do.
这必须是双方共同努力、互惠互利的选择。
This really needs to be a joint effort and mutually beneficial to both parties.
因为关于开放性关系的另一个误解可能是：要么完全以女性为中心，要么妻子可以随时出轨。
Because I guess another misconception about hot wifing could be that it's either all about the woman or it's essentially that the wife gets to cheat on her husband whenever she wants to.
事实绝非如此。
And that really is not true.
在真正的开放婚姻关系中，不存在欺骗行为，因为这是双方共同商定的。
In a real hot wife relationship, there is no cheating because it is something that is agreed on by both parties.
女方获得了丈夫的许可和鼓励。
The woman has the husband's permission, his encouragement.
你知道的，这里没有任何见不得光的事情。
You know, there's nothing shady going on.
所以不要把这当作背叛伴侣的借口。
So do not use this as an excuse to cheat on your partner.
这完全违背了我们在此类关系中追求的目标。
That's really the opposite of what we're trying to do here.
开放婚姻的核心是建立更牢固的伴侣关系，而不是背地里行事导致两人之间产生裂痕。
The point of hot wifing is to create a stronger bond and a stronger connection with your partner, not go behind their back and cause this rift between the two of you.
是啊。
Yeah.
我不喜欢有些男人来联系时说什么'你能帮我诱导/说服/劝说我妻子做这个吗？'
I I don't like when guys reach out, and they'll be like, can you help me, you know, coerce my wife or convince my wife or persuade my wife to do this?
通常他们来找你时，我都会直接拒绝。
And, you know, they usually reach out to you and you're like, no.
我做不到。
I can't.
她必须自己愿意这么做才行。
Like, she has to be willing to do this.
这种说辞让人倒胃口，我们根本不会接茬。
You can't those words are such a turnoff that we don't even engage.
嗯。
Yeah.
我们经常讨论男性试图强迫妻子接受这种情况。
We talk a lot about guys trying to force their wives into this.
但请记住，作为妻子，你也可能在丈夫希望保持一夫一妻制或对此感到不安时，试图说服他尝试这种关系。
But remember, as a wife, you could also be trying to convince your husband to do this when he wants to stay monogamous or he's not really comfortable and secure with this.
这需要非常慎重对待，每个人都应该按照自己的节奏来。
It should be taken very seriously and everybody needs to go at their own pace.
不要将你们的关系与其他也在尝试这种模式的情侣相比较。
Don't try to compare your relationship to somebody else that is also doing this.
特别是像我们这样已经实践多年的人，我们的关系模式已经发展到特定阶段。
You know, especially somebody like us, we've been doing this for many, many years, so we're at a specific stage in our dynamic.
这并不意味着你们关系开始的第一天就应该像我们这样。
That does not mean that day one of your relationship should look like ours.
也不意味着十年后，你们的关系必须像我们或其他人的模式。
It doesn't mean after ten years, your relationship should look like ours or anybody else's.
这确实是个人化的旅程，你们随时可以改变方向并尝试新方式。
It really is a personal journey, and you are free to change your journey at any time and play with it.
无论在一起多久，总会经历很多试错过程，因为新情况总会出现。
It's always gonna be a lot of trial and error no matter how long you're together because new things always arise.
但在双方都同意尝试后，你们首先要做的决定之一就是：想要建立哪种类型的开放关系？
But one of the first decisions you're gonna have to make after agreeing that you both wanna do this is what kind of hot wife relationship do you want?
我认为大致可以分为三种类型，当然这只是我的个人观点。
I like to say there's kind of three different areas you can fall under, but that's just my opinion.
如果你询问他人，可能会发现存在其他情境和实现‘热妻’的不同方式。
If you ask other people, there may be other situations that you can be in and other ways to hot wife.
但我更倾向于将‘热妻’视为一把大伞——在丈夫许可下妻子可以自由玩乐。
But I like to think of hot wifing as a big umbrella where the wife is allowed to play with the husband's permission.
许多人想象中的经典‘热妻’模式是妻子外出寻欢而丈夫留守家中。
A classic or traditional hot wife that a lot of people think about is the hot wife that goes out on her own while the husband stays home.
她尽情玩乐后回到丈夫身边，两人再度云雨。
She plays and then she comes back to her husband and they have sex again.
除此之外，我认为最常被讨论的是‘绿帽奴’关系——妻子风流而丈夫...
After that, I think the most popular one that people talk about is a cuck relationship where you have a hot wife and her husband.
或许他偏向顺从型。
Maybe he's on the submissive side.
或许他嗜好羞辱与贬低。
Maybe he likes humiliation and degradation.
或许他被锁在贞操笼里，连高潮都不被允许。
Maybe he's being caged and he's not even allowed to come.
通常他并不参与性戏，可能更多扮演清理工角色。这种关系存在权力转换——女性主导全局，或许因为她在家庭中得不到满足。这与我和Jason认同的‘雄鹿与雌狐’模式截然相反——那种模式完全不存在羞辱贬低元素？
He's usually not involved in the play or maybe he'd be more of a cleanup guy or something like that but there is a power shift in the relationship where the woman is kind of running the show and maybe she's not being satisfied at home or stuff like that, which is very opposite from what Jason and I identify identify as, as, which which is is the the stag and Vixen dynamic where there is none of that humiliation or Degradation?
没错。
Yeah.
这完全是另一回事。
It's a whole different ballgame.
雄鹿型丈夫对取悦妻子的能力充满自信，他只是通过分享妻子来获得极致快感。
A stag is someone that is very confident and secure in his abilities to please his wife, but he just really gets off on sharing her.
他觉得很有趣。
It's fun for him.
他喜欢其他男人追求她。
He likes that other guys want her.
但那个人就是我。
But That's me.
是啊。
Yeah.
但并没有什么缺失的。
But there's nothing lacking.
没有任何不尊重的行为发生。
There's no disrespect going on.
恰恰相反。
And it's quite the opposite.
在开放式关系中，和我们约会的男人总会在约会后向你道谢。
In a stag relationship, the guys that we play with will always say thank you to you after the date.
他们会非常尊重你。
They will treat you with so much respect.
在和我做任何事之前，他们总会先征求你的同意。
They will always ask your permission before doing anything with me.
所以你真的需要和伴侣达成共识，讨论在这种关系中你们各自希望扮演什么角色。
So you really wanna get on the same page with your partner and discuss how do you want your roles to be within this dynamic.
因为如果我想嫁给一个花花公子，但杰森是个保守的人，一旦我们开始这种关系就会很糟糕——由于我们对彼此的期待和行为方式有巨大差异，很可能会有人感到被冒犯。
Because if I wanted to be married to a cock, but Jason is a stag, that's really not gonna go so well once we start playing because we are gonna have such different views of what we expect and how we behave that somebody is probably going to get offended.
接下来可能会有些争论。
There's going to be some arguing.
事情不会那么顺利。
It's not going to go smoothly.
所以你真的需要清楚自己的舒适区在哪里，以及你的边界和底线是什么。
So you really need to know what you are comfortable with and what your boundaries and your limits are.
就像我说的，可能需要一些试错才能弄明白。
And it might take, like I said, some trial and error in figuring things out.
你可能是多种特质的混合体。
You may be a blend of things.
也许你有时喜欢换换花样。
Maybe you like to switch it up sometimes.
我们在玩耍时非常明确且各司其职。
We are pretty specific and stay in our own lane when we play.
我们不会做太多变化，但其他人可能会。
We don't do a lot of variations, but other people might.
再说一次，这对你来说完全没问题。
And, again, that's totally fine for you.
你可以随心所欲地对待这件事。
You are free to treat this however you want.
是啊。
Yeah.
你知道，在夫妻关系中，有些夫妻甚至会做到这种程度——她招待的绅士会留宿在他们家的主卧，而丈夫则睡沙发或客房。
For the you know, on the coupled side, there's even couples that go as far as the gentleman that she entertains, you know, stays over their home in their bed while the husband, you know, gets the couch or the guest room.
那里似乎有许多不同层次的动态关系。
There's like so many different layers of dynamic there.
而除了我之外，没有其他人曾与你同床共枕。
Whereas nobody's ever sleeping in a bed with you besides me.
不。
No.
我认为当人们听到'hot wiping'时，会立刻联想到性行为，但其实还有太多其他因素——性行为前的铺垫、过程中的互动以及事后的处理。如果你不与伴侣进行这些具体对话，不问这些尖锐问题，就会遇到麻烦，因为你根本不知道会发生什么。
I think people, when they hear hot wiping, they just automatically think about the sex act, but there are so many other things happening and so many things leading up to the sex and happening during the sex and after the sex that if you don't have these very specific conversations with your partner and ask a lot of these really hard questions, then you're gonna run into some problems because you're not gonna know what to expect.
有时当人们遭遇意外状况时，你知道的，他们的第一反应往往不会太好。
And sometimes when people are surprised and things are sprung on them, you know, they don't have the best reaction.
他们无法适应，于是问题就产生了。
They're not able to adapt and you get into some problems.
所以需要考虑的是：你的玩伴是谁？
So some things to think about are who are you going to be playing with?
通常我们讨论'hot wiping'时，是指女方和其他男性发生关系，但技术上她也可以和伴侣、女性或其他人玩。
Generally when we talk about hot wiping, the woman is sleeping with other guys, but technically she could be playing with couples or women or whatever it is.
不过为了今天的讨论，我们主要谈和其他男性玩的情况。
But for the purposes of today, we're gonna talk about playing with other guys.
那么这个男人是谁？
So who is this guy?
你是在哪里找到他的？
Where are you finding him?
有些人在刚开始尝试时，会觉得和普通朋友玩更自在。
Some people when they're starting out they feel more comfortable playing with a vanilla friend.
对吧？
Right?
他们希望能信任那个人，了解那个人，彼此之间有一定的舒适感。
They want to feel like they can trust that person, they know them, there is a level of comfort among them.
这对很多人来说效果很好。
And that works great for a lot of people.
对我们而言，我们从不和现实世界中认识的人玩。
For us, we never play with people that we know in the real world.
我们把一切都分得很开，因为我觉得和某人发生关系有可能真的会破坏一段关系，毁掉一段友谊。
We keep everything very separate because I think having sex with someone has the potential to really damage a relationship, ruin a friendship.
如果性爱很糟糕怎么办？
What if the sex is horrible?
特别是如果你是新手，如果你和伴侣在约会中有些嫉妒或问题怎么办？
Especially if you're new, what if you and your partner have some jealousies or problems on the date?
你肯定不希望这影响到你现实世界中的关系。
You don't want to let that affect relationships in your real world.
这只是我的个人观点。
That's just my point of view.
但你可以自由选择这两种情况。
But feel free to use either of those scenarios.
如果你要找陌生人，那你要在哪里找到他们呢？
If you are gonna look for a stranger, then where are you finding them?
你会去换妻网站吗？
Are you going on a swinger site?
你打算某晚在酒吧随便搭讪个男人吗？
Are you picking up a random guy at a bar one night?
但要认真考虑这事怎么发生，因为找男人并不像某些人想的那么容易，这点我们之前已经讨论过无数次了。
But really think about how this is going to happen because it's not always as easy to find guys as some people think, which we've talked about many, many times before.
所以实际上你需要有策略性地计划如何找到这些人。
So you actually need to be strategic and plan on finding these people.
一旦找到目标对象，你得讨论清楚：这只是一次性事件以免有人陷进去？
Once you find the person, you wanna talk about, is this gonna be a one time event only so nobody gets attached?
还是你希望与某人建立长期联系，以便能探索更多、尝试更多，想要稳定的伴侣？
Or are you looking to build a long term connection with somebody so that you can explore more and experiment more and you wanna have steady partners?
我们两种方式都尝试。
We go both ways on that.
我们会混搭着来。
We mix it up.
我们有很多一夜情，也有很多固定约会对象。
We have a lot of one night stands and then a lot of recurring dates also.
还有什么？
What else?
哦，我觉得和对方沟通非常重要。
Oh, I would say communicating with the guy is very important.
对吧？
Right?
那么谁来负责沟通呢？
So who is doing the communicating?
是妻子来主导，自由挑选男人、发短信调情，然后才见面吗？
Is the wife gonna take the reins and she is free to pick the guys, text the guys, flirt with the guys before they meet?
还是由丈夫负责寻找男人？
Or is the husband gonna be in charge of finding the guys?
或者这是你们共同参与的事情？
Or is it something that you do together?
很多夫妻会建立群聊，这样所有人都能保持信息同步。
A lot of couples will do group text chats so that everybody is on the same page.
这样更透明。
There's transparency.
没人会在背后偷偷摸摸。
Nobody is sneaking around behind anybody's back.
有时丈夫希望妻子去沟通，因为他知道她在和其他男人调情会感到兴奋。
Sometimes the husband wants the wife to do the communicating because he wants to get turned on knowing she's flirting with another guy.
对吧？
Right?
他甚至可能会看那些消息。
He might even read the messages.
也有些时候，沟通仅限于男人之间。
Other times, it stays between the men.
多数时候都是杰森负责所有沟通。
A lot of times, Jason does all the communicating.
不是我不被允许参与，只是我们形成了由杰森处理这些事的模式。
It's not that I'm not allowed to, but we've just fallen into this cycle where Jason deals with the guys.
偶尔我会这么做，但我觉得男对男更像是雄鹿与雌狐的互动模式。
Every once in a while, I'll do it, but man to man seems to be a little more in the stag vixen dynamic, I think.
他对我们选择谁以及做什么有更多掌控权。
He has a little more control over who we're picking and what we're doing.
但记住，你可以选择任何你想要的方式。
But remember, you can pick any way that you want to do it.
只要确保你没有做任何违背伴侣舒适度的事情。
Just make sure that you are not doing anything that is going against your partner's comfort levels.
所以确保你们事先讨论清楚。
So make sure you discuss this beforehand.
你不想被意外情况吓到。
You don't wanna be surprised.
如果我们在群聊中，或者Jason正在和别人说话，然后他们不告诉他就私下给我发消息，我也会很恼火，这让我觉得有点鬼鬼祟祟。
I also get annoyed if we are in a group chat or Jason is talking to somebody and then they message me privately without telling him, that really is a little shady to me.
所以你要确保没有人占便宜，不仅是你和你的伴侣，第三方也需要遵守你们为这次约会设定的规则。
So you wanna make sure that nobody is taking advantage either, not just you and your partner, but the third party also needs to follow the rules that you are setting for this date.
我想我们之前提到过这点，但你本质上拥有单身女孩的自由和特权。
We've I think we've touched on this before, but you essentially have single girl freedom and privileges.
你选择不完全利用这些特权，我尊重这一点。
You choose to not fully take advantage of that, and, you know, I respect that.
所以，比如你有独自外出的自由。
So, like, you have the freedom to go out by yourself.
你有独自和男生交谈的自由。
You have the freedom to talk to guys by yourself.
你有做所有这些事的自由。
You have the freedom to do all that stuff.
有趣的是，我明白我的意思——即使你真的和别人调情，我也不介意，但我知道你想要的是行动。
And it's funny because I know that I mean, even if you did flirt with somebody, it doesn't bother me, but I know that you want action.
你不想要空谈。
You don't want talk.
所以对你来说，除非是我们在工作时互相调情，或是分开时——比如白天有男人给你发照片视频之类的，这些对你毫无吸引力。
So for you, like, unless it's you and I flirting when we're at work or something like that or apart, you know, for the day that, you know, guys, like, sending you photos and videos and stuff, it does nothing for you.
其实这还挺有趣的。
It's it's actually kinda funny.
我才是负责筛选所有视频和图片的人，判断它们是否符合我们的要求。
I'm the one that fields all of the videos and pictures to determine if they're what we're looking for.
所以重申一遍，尽管你能做这些事，但通常我才是安排约会的人，然后我会因为很多人不靠谱而手忙脚乱，最后你总能找到像我们上周讨论过的那种人。
So, again, even though you can do all this stuff, usually, I'm the one that's trying to find the dates, and then I'll get flustered because a bunch of them are, like, sketchy, and then you'll find somebody like we discussed, I think, last week.
所以你要知道，我们之间有着这样的信任和默契——你可以随心所欲做任何事。
So it's never you know, we have that trust and connection that, you know, you're free to do whatever you want.
说真的，我完全不在意——比如我在上班时，你完全可以在家和男人聊天自慰之类的。
For all I care in in in a good way, like, you know, you could be chatting with guys and masturbating and stuff at home while I'm at work.
我完全不介意，只是你从来不会选择那么做。
It doesn't bother me, but you just you choose never to do that.
每对伴侣的接受程度都不同，这很正常。
So, you know, each couple is gonna vary as far as what they're okay and not okay with.
关于你的睡伴问题，我还有一点要补充。
And then something else I wanna add about who you're sleeping with.
我说这话时有人会笑，但你们俩想和同一个人玩3P吗？
And some people laugh when I say this, but do you both want to have a threesome with the same person?
丈夫是否参与并不重要，因为他要么在旁观，要么事后会听说，要么他和你妻子玩的那个人总有些联系。
Whether the husband is involved or not is irrelevant because he's still watching or he's still gonna hear about it after or he still has some connection to the person that the wife is playing with.
那你们对要玩的对象类型达成一致了吗？
So do you guys agree on the type of person that you're gonna play with?
这对你们双方来说重要吗？
Does it matter to both of you?
你丈夫在乎那个男的长相吗？
Does your husband care what the guy looks like?
对我们来说，杰森喜欢特定类型的男人。
So for us, Jason likes a certain type of guy.
我的意思是，我们跨越了种族界限，但你喜欢那种身材健美、看起来强壮、举止得体又体面的男人。
I mean, we go across the board on ethnicities, but you like fit, strong looking guys that are, like, smooth and presentable.
有时候我会问，'哎，这个男的怎么样？'
And there have been instances where I said, oh, what about this guy?
而你会说，'算了，我不想看你和他做。'
And you're like, nah, I don't wanna see you fuck him.
就是'我对看这个没兴趣'那种感觉。
Like, I don't care about watching that.
对我来说，这种情况我就会拒绝他，因为如果你没兴趣看，那我也不想做。
And that to me, I pass on him because if you're not interested in watching it, then I don't wanna do it.
但有人问过我们，比如妻子会说'其实我只对白人有感觉，但我丈夫特别想看我和黑人做。'
But I've had people ask us you know, the wife will say, oh, I'm really only into white guys, but my husband really wants to see me with a black eye.
那么，你现在打算怎么办？
Well, now what are you gonna do?
你准备怎么解决这个问题？
How are you gonna work that out?
你会妥协并每隔几次约会就轮换一次吗？
Are you gonna compromise and alternate every few dates that you play?
他是不是只允许你和他想看的那种人发生关系？
Is he only gonna let you sleep with someone if they're, you know, what he wants to see?
所以你必须处理好所有这些问题，这变成了一场平衡游戏：我想要什么，他想要什么，我愿意在哪些方面妥协——因为你不想为伴侣做那些真正超出你舒适区、会让你感到不适的事情。
So you have to work out all of these things, and it becomes a balancing game between what do I want, what does he want, what am I willing to compromise on, because you don't wanna do things for your partner that are really outside of your comfort zone and are going to make you uncomfortable.
这不是重点。
That is not the point of this.
关键在于找到那个甜蜜点，让你们双方都能从这段经历中获得愉悦。
It's finding that sweet spot where you're both getting something enjoyable from this experience.
你们还需要讨论约会的频率。
You also want to talk about how often are you going to be having dates.
有些人制定了非常严格的规则。
Some people have very strict rules.
他们每月玩一次，每月两次，或每隔一个周五。
They play once a month, twice a month, every other Friday.
你知道，他们设限是因为不想失控，这完全没问题。
You know, they have limits because they don't wanna get carried away, which is totally fine.
我们可不遵守那些规则。
We don't play by those rules.
我们想玩就玩，能找到人就玩，感觉对了就玩。
We just play whenever we want, whenever we can find guys, whenever things click.
可能这个月玩得很疯，下个月就完全不玩。
We might play a ton one month and then not play the next month.
但你要确保双方都清楚对方的期待，因为没人希望出现这种情况：约会一次后，一方想天天约会，而另一方接下来三个月都不想约。
But these are all things that you wanna make sure, you know, you understand what the other person's expectations are because you don't want it to turn into a thing where you have one date and now one of you wants to have dates every night of the week and the other person doesn't wanna have a date for the next three months.
那你打算怎么平衡呢？
So how are you gonna balance that out?
你们得好好谈谈这个问题。
You're gonna have to talk about that.
是啊。
Yeah.
我觉得我们基本上每天都有空。
I think we're pretty much available any day that ends in y.
这取决于每周的安排，要看我们有没有其他生活安排。
It just depends on the week, you know, if we have things to do outside of the lifestyle.
不过一般来说，我们随时都能约人见面。
But, generally, we can get together any day with somebody.
通常我们更多是配合别人的时间表，除非我们要出门旅行之类的。
It's usually the other people's schedule that we have to work with more so than ours, unless we're, like, going away and stuff like that.
开放关系很有趣，因为我经常谈论女性赋权、独立自主、保持自信、身体自主权这些话题。
Hot wifing is interesting also because, you know, I do a lot of talk about female empowerment and being independent and being confident and owning my body and all of these things.
但你们又会听我说'我只和丈夫指定的人上床'，让他安排所有约会，有些女性可能很难理解我性格中这两面的统一。
But then you hear me say oh I fuck whoever my husband tells me to and I let him plan all these dates so some women might have a hard time wrapping their head around those two sides of my personality.
但对我来说，我丈夫说'嘿，我给你找了个男人来上床'比我说'嘿，宝贝'要性感得多。
But there is something really sexy to me about my husband saying, hey, I found this guy for you to fuck versus me saying, hey, baby.
如果我上了我找到的这个男人，可以吗？
Is it okay if I fuck this guy that I found?
我喜欢他主导的感觉，而且我不认为这与我保持独立有什么冲突。
Like, I like him taking the lead and I don't see it as a negative against me being independent.
我觉得这两者完全不相关。
I think it's completely unrelated.
我们只在'热妻'行为中这样，日常生活中并非如此。
We only behave this way when it comes to hot wifing, not in our day to day life.
我甚至不认为这是在向他屈服，或者处于某种主从关系中。
And I don't even look at it as being, you know, submissive to him or being in a dom sub relationship or anything like that.
我只是觉得这是我们双方都认为很刺激的事情。
I just think it's something that we both agree is really hot.
但如果这让你困扰，你需要确保伴侣知道这点，并且在这个过程中不要失去自尊。
But if that bothers you, then you wanna make sure your partner knows that and you don't wanna lose any of your self esteem in the process by doing this.
这应该让你们双方都更有自信，我想，整体上更有力量。
This is supposed to make both of you more confident and, I guess, just more empowered all around.
这不应该从你们任何一方夺走什么。
It's not supposed to take anything away from either of you.
这不该让你丈夫觉得他不能满足你，或者对你来说不够，你需要除他之外的人。
It shouldn't make your husband feel like he's not satisfying you or he's not enough for you or you need somebody else beyond him.
这与那些完全无关，而且很难向不处在这种关系中的人解释，因为他们有时只看到负面。
This is so unrelated and it's really hard to explain that to people that are not in this relationship because sometimes they just see all the negatives.
他们说你们的关系出了问题。
They say there's something wrong with your relationship.
你们彼此不够好。
You're not enough for each other.
你们无法取悦对方。
You're not pleasing each other.
你需要从生活中获得更多。
You need more out of life.
但其实根本不是这些原因。
But it's really none of those things.
这只是为你们的性生活增添刺激和乐趣的方式，不必总是过度解读。
It's just something that adds excitement and fun to your sex life and you don't have to read so deep into it all the time.
这并不意味着有问题。
It doesn't mean that there's something wrong.
这说明你们的关系足够牢固，可以承受这种新元素的加入。
It means that you guys are strong enough that you can survive adding this to your dynamic.
没错。
Right.
而且，你知道，有很多个夜晚，这场景比我看过最火辣的色情片还要刺激，因为这是真实的。
And, you know, there's plenty of nights where it rivals some of the hottest porn I've ever seen because it's live.
你是我的妻子，也是我的色情明星，看着这一切在你面前展开，然后参与其中，接着又能退后一步从不同角度观赏——那些当我自己和你做爱时永远看不到的角度。
I you're my wife and you're my porn star, and to see all that unfold in front of you and then partake in it and then be able to step back and look at it from different angles, angles that I can never see when I'm the one that's having sex with you.
所以即便有镜子——镜子很棒，我们有很多镜子——但当你能退后看着别人享受你的妻子，比如他进入她的瞬间，或是他们双唇相接相拥的时刻，你能看出她真的很喜欢这个男人。
So even with mirrors, like mirrors are awesome and we have plenty of them, but when you can step back and see somebody else enjoy your wife or like the second that he slides into her or the moment their lips connect and they're in this embrace and, you know, you can tell that she's really into this guy.
这种感觉无与伦比。
There's nothing like it.
你们必须真正心意相通才能有这种感觉。
And you really have to be on the same page for to feel that way.
不能有任何嫉妒或不安。
You can't have any jealousies, any insecurities.
你不能担心他会让她高潮迭起。
You cannot worry that he is going to make her cum and cum hard.
所以当我看到妻子高潮时发出那些声音，我就在想，这他妈是什么？
So when I see my wife cum sometimes when her noises are coming out of her, I'm like, what the fuck is that?
我想我最近也提到过这个。
And I think I mentioned that recently too.
太性感了。
That's so hot.
那只是当下的感觉。
It's just in the moment.
就是那种高潮。
It's that orgasm.
她并不是爱上了别人。
It's not she's not in love with anybody else.
她也没有和别人共度时光。
She's not spending time with anybody else.
只是她有时和这些男人达到的这种极乐状态。
It's just this this point of ecstasy that she hits sometimes with these these guys.
我告诉你，这简直不可思议。
And I tell you, it's just unreal.
所以这是给我们的。
So that's for us.
你要知道，你不该害怕她。
You know, you can't be afraid of her.
当我说'她'时，我指的是你的妻子、女友、男友，无论你处于何种关系中——他们从别人那里获得巨大快感，并不意味着他们爱你少一分。
And when I say her, I mean your wife, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, whoever whatever type of relationship you're in of them experiencing immense pleasure from somebody else because it does not mean that they love you any less.
这也不代表他们对你的吸引力减弱。
It doesn't mean that they're attracted to you any less.
更不意味着你满足他们的能力变差。
It doesn't mean that you can't satisfy them any less.
就是这种刺激与兴奋感达到顶峰，简直妙不可言。
It's just this this thrill and this excitement that just comes to a head, and it's amazing.
当一切结束后，你们分道扬镳回到伴侣身边，那种难以言表的感觉会让你感叹：哇。
And then when it's all said and done, and then, you know, you part ways and you're with your partner, it's just this indescribable feeling where you're like, wow.
那真是太美妙了。
That that was amazing.
然后你就这样回归日常生活。
And then, like, you just kinda go right back to your life.
继续刷你的网飞。
You go back to Netflix.
或许还会出去吃个晚餐。
You, you know, maybe go out to dinner.
你去睡觉吧，随便，洗个澡。
You go to bed, whatever, take a shower.
但在那次约会的那一刻，一次美好的约会，我们无法用言语形容那种激情。
But in that moment of the date, a good date, there's no words to describe how hot it is for us.
是啊。
Yeah.
完全同意。
Absolutely.
我刚想接着你说的话展开一下，这让我想到了这个。
And I just wanted to touch upon you just said something that made me think of this.
你知道，我们总是谈论男女夫妻，但你可以把'共享妻子'的概念应用到任何类型的关系中。
You know, we always talk about male female couples, but you can take the concept of hot wifing and apply it to any type of relationship.
可以是女女伴侣，其中一方被共享。
You could be a female female couple and one of you is being shared.
也可以是男男伴侣，其中一方被共享。
It could be a male male couple and one of you is being shared.
只要你们关注我们讨论的所有要点，并将其应用到你们特定的关系中，具体形式其实并不重要。
It really doesn't matter as long as you pay attention to all of these things that we're talking about and then you relate them to whatever relationship you are specifically in.
所以再次强调，不必完全照搬我们的模式，只需思考这些方面并选择对你有意义的部分。
So again it doesn't have to be exactly what we are talking about but just think about these things and pick and choose what makes sense to you.
对。
Yeah.
我们只是基于自身关系来讨论，你知道的，男女已婚夫妻，而你被其他男性共享。
We just talk based on our relationship where, you know, male, female, married couple, and you're shared with men.
所以无论具体情况如何，你只需将其应用到你的动态中，你知道的，本质上都是一回事。
So then you just apply that to your dynamic no matter what it is, and, you know, it's it's the same thing.
但大体原则相同，比如尊重、沟通、舒适度这些通用准则，无论如何都适用。
But all the same general, you know, respect, communication, comfort levels, and all that applies across the board no matter what.
完全同意。
Absolutely.
接下来我们要讨论的是约会前的准备流程。
So next, we are gonna talk about the kind of predate routine.
记得上周节目结尾时，我们聊到最讨厌临时被放鸽子——因为那时已经在脑海里构建起关于当晚的性感幻想，一旦开始就很难摆脱这种期待。
And I think in the end of last week's episode, we were talking about how much we hate when people cancel on us because we've already started to build this hot wife fantasy for our night and it's really hard to get that out of your head once it starts.
所以约会前的准备其实早在正式约会前就开始了。
So the predate routine starts long before you go on a date.
可能从你决定寻找约会对象的那一刻就启动了。
It could be the minute you decide you're looking for a date.
也可能是在制定约会计划时开始。
It could be when you make plans for the date.
但这需要你和伴侣共同参与，在接触第三方之前就要先激发彼此的精神共鸣和思维火花。
But this is gonna be between you and your partner, and you're gonna start igniting that mental stimulation and that mental spark before you get anywhere near the third party.
具体形式可以多种多样，很多伴侣都有自己特定的准备仪式。
So this could look a lot of different ways, but a lot of couples have kind of a specific routine or ritual that they go through.
我们会分享作为'雄鹿与雌狐'组合的实践，但其他夫妻的做法可能截然相反。
And, you know, we're gonna talk about what we do as a stag and vixen, but that might be completely opposite of what a couple would be doing.
所以请根据自身情况参考。
So just take this as it is.
但我会尽量列举出你能做的各种不同事情。
But I'm gonna try to give examples of a lot of different things you could do.
具体到我们，我们的日常是杰森通常会帮我洗澡。
So for us specifically, we have the routine where Jason normally showers me.
他会帮我刮腿毛。
He shaves my legs.
他会确保我的身体光滑柔嫩。
He makes sure my body is nice and smooth.
他会帮我挑选要穿的衣服。
He will help pick out the outfit that I'm gonna wear.
比如我的裙子和鞋子，但他也会挑选他想看的内衣款式。
So, like, my dress and my shoes, but then he will also help pick out the lingerie that he wants to see.
有时他会特别具体地提出要求。
Sometimes he's very specific in what he wants.
其他时候他会让我给他惊喜，但我总是喜欢先征求他的意见。
Other times he says to surprise him, but I always like to ask him.
有些日子我们会有分歧。
And some days we disagree.
你想让我穿短裙，但我想穿裤子；或者你想让我穿凉鞋，但我想穿靴子。
You want me to wear a short dress, but I feel like wearing pants or you want me to wear my sandals, but I want to wear my boots.
这时我们就得互相妥协，因为我想穿得舒服，但也想确保能让你兴奋。
And then we have to compromise because I want to be comfortable, but I also want to make sure that you are turned on.
如果你特别坚持想看我穿某件衣服，我会穿上的。
And if you're really hard set on seeing me in something, I'll wear it.
如果你心情不错，那也没关系。
If you're in a mood where, like, it's okay.
你知道的，想穿什么就穿什么，我们按你的方式来，但总会先商量一下。
You know, wear what you feel like, then we go that route, but we always discuss it.
我从来不会不跟你打招呼就穿好衣服直接出门。
I never just get dressed and walk out the door without checking in with you.
是啊。
Yeah.
我确实总有些想看你穿的衣服，但我是个通情达理的丈夫，如果外面只有10到20度的话...
I always have certain things I wanna see you in, but I am an understanding husband that if it's 10 or 20 degrees outside and alright.
也许你可以穿点别的。
Maybe you can wear something else.
完全没问题。
It's quite alright.
你就在酒店里穿些性感内衣之类的。
You just put on some sexy lingerie in the hotel or something like that.
不过总的来说，是的，你知道的，我会给你洗澡刮毛。
But generally speaking, yeah, you know, I do wash you and shave you.
而且，我们之前提到过这个。
And, you know, we've mentioned this before.
你可能觉得这是种顺从行为，但根据凯西的说法，恰恰相反。
It is you would think that it's a submissive thing, it you know, according to Casey, it's the opposite.
她特别兴奋的点在于——我明知道她即将被献给其他男人或多个男人，却还在帮她做脱毛保养、给她穿内裤之类的事，而这些衣物很快会被别人脱掉。
She's very turned on by the fact that I am just preparing her to give to another man or men knowing that, you know, I'm making sure she's really smooth and, you know, slipping her panties on and stuff like that knowing that they're gonna be taken off by somebody else.
确实如此，这么做相当性感。
So it is it is rather sexy to do.
我已经用手抚摸过你的腿，确保它们光滑柔嫩。
I've run my hands over your legs and make sure they're nice and smooth.
只要确保你洗得很干净，知道你已经准备好，可以见人了。
Just make sure you're washed really well and just knowing you're, like, ready and presentable.
这感觉非常火辣。
It's kinda it's very hot.
我只是想澄清一下。
I just wanna clarify.
你说顺从时，是指你顺从，因为你在给我刮腿毛。
When you said submissive, you meant submissive on your part because you're shaving my legs.
哦，是的。
But Oh, yeah.
但这很有趣，因为这其实是一种非常强势的行为——有些日子如果出于某种原因你让我自己洗澡，我出来后只要你摸到我腿上有一根胡茬，就会命令我回去重洗，然后抓起剃刀重新给我修整。
But it's funny because there it's a very dominant thing because there are days where if for some reason you tell me to shower myself and I get out of the shower and you feel one piece of stubble on my leg, you're like, get back in the shower and you grab the razor and you reshape me.
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所以这根本不是什么顺从的行为。
So it not is not a submissive thing at all.
就像我必须通过你的考验，才能代表你去见别人，因为在某种程度上我代表着你，对吧？因为你把我交给别人时会炫耀'看看我有多棒的妻子'，你想确保给出的是最好的我。
It's like, I have to pass your test in order to be presented to someone else on your behalf because in a way, I'm kind of representing you, right, because you're giving me to this other person and you're saying wow look at this amazing wife that I have and you want to make sure you are giving the best version of me.
你不会让我头发凌乱、卫生邋遢地去约会，因为那会让你作为男人很没面子。
You're not going to let me go on a date with my hair mess and you know poor hygiene because that's gonna reflect poorly on you as a man.
这就是我们之间形成的这种机制。
So it is this system that we have going on.
嗯，即使我们只是两个人出去吃饭，我也喜欢炫耀你。
Well, even when we go out, just you and I go out to dinner, I love showing you off.
很多个夜晚，你会穿着若隐若现的性感衣物露出乳沟之类的，我特别喜欢这样让你吸引目光。
And many a night, you'll wear subtle sexy things to reveal cleavage or something like that, which I I love to attract attention to you.
也有些晚上我们就是，你知道的，随便吃个披萨，穿着运动裤之类的。
And then there's nights that we're just, you know, go for pizza and we just wear sweatpants and and things like that.
但大多数时候，我都喜欢炫耀你。
But most of the times, I love showing you off.
我百分之百喜欢炫耀你。
I a 100% love showing you off.
所以，你知道有些人可能不喜欢被关注，但我特别喜欢男人们看你的样子。
So, you know, some people would not like the attention, but I love the fact that, you know, guys look at you and and things like that.
有时候我甚至想，你知道的，我们确实这么做过。
And sometimes I even wanna you know, we've done this.
让你独自待在某处，因为这样可能会吸引更多人找你搭讪——如果看到你身边有男伴，他们就会觉得‘好吧，她名花有主了’。
You know, you're somewhere by yourself because it might attract more people to talk to you because if just naturally, if they see you with a a guy, it's kinda like, okay.
她有人了。
She's taken.
他们不知道的是（其实可以来搭讪）。
I can't go talk to her, but they little do they know.
另外，作为约会前准备的一部分，你和伴侣会整天互发性暗示消息来营造约会期待感吗？
Also, for a part of the predate routine, are you and your partner sexting each other all day building up this excitement about the date?
你会发‘等不及要含住这家伙的阴茎’这种消息，或是给丈夫发内衣选择照片吗？
Are you sending messages like, I can't wait to suck this guy's cock or sending your husband pictures of lingerie choices.
比如，你和伴侣白天会培养那种激情吗？
Like, are you building that heat between you and your partner during the day?
我们不太常那样做。
We don't do that too too much.
不会。
No.
有时候两者都会。
Sometimes we do both.
除非那本来就是我们日常的一部分。
Not if that's not, like, part of our standard thing.
不会。
No.
因为实际上，有时候约会时间不允许，这取决于我们俩的工作安排。
So because, actually, sometimes the date doesn't allow it depending what we're doing at work, you and I.
而且天气也超级超级热。
But also, it's super, super hot.
但如果你们聊了那么多，结果约会却黄了呢？
But what if you talk about all the stuff and then the dates will flop?
我们更多是在为约会穿衣打扮时才开始聊这个。
We're more of we start talking about that as we're getting dressed for the date.
然后我们开始互相调侃，但会等到最后一刻确认真的能成行，这样就不会白高兴一场。
Then we start talking shit to each other, but we kind of wait till the last minute to make sure it's really happening so that we don't get really bummed out and waste our time being excited.
有些人可能在约会前先发生关系。
Some people might have sex before going on a date.
我有时会幻想你和我做爱，射在我体内，然后我们去见那个男人，这样我体内就已经有你的精液了。
I sometimes have a fantasy where you would fuck me, come inside me, and then we meet the guy, so I already have your come inside me.
但如果你在约会前就射了，我们就不去约会了，因为你会对约会失去兴趣。
But if you come before a date, we're not going on the date because you're gonna lose interest in the date.
所以我们不会参与这种事，但其他情侣可能会。
So that's not something that we participate in, but other couples might.
有时我们可能会做爱，但你不射，只是互相撩拨起性欲。
Sometimes maybe we have sex, but you don't come, but we just kind of, like, get ourselves turned on.
也许我会在你身上射一点，然后我们再出去约会。
Maybe I come on you a little bit, and then we go out on the date.
这是另一种选择。
That's another option.
所有这些事情你都应该考虑清楚。
So all of these things you kinda wanna think about.
怎样才能让这次体验效果最大化？
How do you get the most out of this experience?
对。
Right.
约会时你会坐在伴侣旁边吗？
And when you're on the date, are you going to sit next to your partner?
还是坐在刚认识的那个人旁边？
Are you gonna sit next to the person you're just meeting?
这些都关系到约会能否顺利进行。
All of this plays into how well the date can go.
你知道你可以调情到什么程度吗？
You know, what are you allowed to flirt?
你可以有肢体接触吗？
Are you allowed to touch?
如果你的伴侣被对方吸引，你会想看到他们接吻吗？
Are you do you wanna see your partner kiss them if they're attracted to them?
你们见面之前讨论过什么？
What was discussed beforehand with the person you're meeting?
听起来很多，但这些都能让约会顺利进行，而不是变得尴尬。
It sounds like a lot, but it all can contribute to a date going well versus awkward being an having an awkward date.
如果你们三个人一起坐在酒吧里，大部分时候女孩会坐在两个男人中间。
If the three of you are sitting together at the bar, is most of the time the girl would be seated in between the two guys.
但如果你们坐在餐厅卡座里，女方是坐在丈夫旁边面对约会对象，还是坐在约会对象旁边面对丈夫？
But if you're sitting at a booth in a restaurant, is the woman sitting next to her husband across from the date or is she sitting next to the date across from her husband?
这些听起来可能不重要，但实际上很重要，因为这是你们夫妻作为团队面试这个人，还是你和约会对象调情让你丈夫旁观你们升温？
And these sound like maybe not important things, but they really do become important because is it gonna be you and your husband seated as a team basically interviewing this guy, or is it you and your date flirting so that your husband can watch the two of you, you know, start to build the heat a little bit?
有时候你会坐我旁边，但如果是个我觉得你肯定会喜欢的男人，我希望你坐他旁边。
Sometimes you sit next to me, but if it's a guy that I'm pretty sure you're gonna be real into, like, I want you to sit next to him.
我甚至会告诉他们，可以和她自然互动。
I even tell them, like, it's okay to flow with her.
可以触碰她也没关系，但他们还是会紧张。
It's okay to, like, touch her, and that they still get nervous.
所以我喜欢像在远处旁观一样看着事情发展。
So I like to see it unfold as if, you know, I'm watching from a distance and I'm not really there.
你提到了酒吧的布置。
And you mentioned the bar set up.
有时候那家伙会坐在我们中间，他的头会来回转动以确保兼顾到我们两个人。
Sometimes the guy winds up sitting between us, and he has, like, his head's going back and forth to make sure he includes both of us.
但你是对的。
But you're right.
你在中间会更好，因为那样我就会说把注意力放在他身上之类的话。
It's better when you're in the middle because then I'll say focus on him or something like that.
还有，想想看丈夫会不会让妻子单独和他相处？
Also, think about is the husband gonna leave the wife alone with him at any point?
对吧？
Right?
他是不是想给他们一点私人空间，然后远远观望？
Does he wanna give them a little privacy and watch from afar?
你对在公开场合进行三人约会感觉有多自在？
How comfortable are you being on a threesome type date in public?
因为这也是你需要认真考虑的事情，毕竟我们现在已经非常适应了。
Because this is something that you really need to think about too because we are very comfortable at this point.
最开始我还是单身的时候，即使参加单人约会也非常紧张。
In the beginning, back when I was single, even when I went on solo dates, I was very nervous.
我总是和约会对象低声说话。
I was always whispering to the person I'm with.
我不想让别人知道我在和别人进行这种性约会。
I didn't want anybody to know I was on, you know, this sex date with somebody.
现在我们到了要和一位男士约会的地步。
And now we're at the point where we'll be on a date with a guy.
我曾公开轮流与丈夫和另一个男人亲热，大家都在看我们，可能还在议论，但我们并不在意。
I've made out with my husband and the other guy in public taking turns, and everybody's watching us, gossiping probably, but it doesn't really bother us.
你还得记住，你遇到的那个男人可能和你的舒适度不同。
You also have to remember that the guy you're meeting may have a different comfort level than you.
所以有时我们会遇到一些男士，我完全不介意在公共场合和他调情，但他却不想让人知道他在和一对情侣约会。
So sometimes we meet guys where I would have no problem flirting with him in public, but he doesn't want anybody to know he's on a date with a couple.
所以这不仅关乎你和伴侣达成共识，还关乎你遇到的那个人。
So it's not just about you and your partner being on the same page, but also the person that you're meeting.
如果你们是新情侣，可能比你们遇到的那个人更拘谨一些。
If you're a new couple, you might be a little more reserved than the person you're meeting.
如果他从未见过情侣约会，可能会害羞，或者你们可能完全合拍，但如果某人的公共界限与私下不同，也别往心里去。
If he's never met a couple before, he might be shy, or you guys might all be on the same page, but you can't take it personally if somebody's public boundaries are different than their private boundaries.
还要考虑是去本地可能有人认出你们的酒吧，还是去另一个城镇？
Also think about, are you gonna go to your local bar where people might recognize you, or are you gonna go to a different town?
我和杰森去本地酒吧是因为我们懒。
Me and Jason go to our local place because we're lazy.
我们真的不在乎。
We don't really give a shit.
我单身时，家附近有两家酒吧，我经常和不同的人去那里。
When I was single, I had, like, two bars near my house that I went to all the time with random people constantly.
我知道酒保们察觉到我有些不对劲，但我真的不在乎。
And I know the bartenders knew something was up with me, but I didn't really care.
但如果你担心遇到熟人，很多人会选择去自己不居住的城镇玩乐，这样就能在公开场合调情而不必担心后果。
But if you are concerned about running into somebody you know, a lot of people will play in a town that they don't live in so that they can have this public flirtation going on and not worry about having any repercussions from it.
所以地点因素也会起到一定作用。
So location is also gonna come into play a little bit.
因为有些人甚至跑到另一个州去，就是太害怕遇到熟人了。
Because some even go to a whole another state because they're so afraid to run into somebody.
我们现在已经不在乎这些了。
We just don't care anymore.
没错。
Exactly.
那么接下来要考虑的是，如果你决定和这个人发生关系——记住，仅仅因为你们一起喝了杯酒或经人介绍认识，并不意味着你必须和他发生关系。
So then the next thing would be if you decide to play with this person because remember, just because you met somebody out for a drink or an introduction does not mean you have to play with them.
你可以拒绝。
You can say no.
对方也可以拒绝。
They can say no.
这并不保证一定会发生关系。
It's not guaranteed sex.
但最理想的情况是你们一拍即合，想要去发生关系。
But best case scenario, you guys hit it off and you wanna go have sex.
接下来你需要知道的问题是：你们准备在哪里发生关系？
The next question you need to know the answer to is where are you gonna be playing?
基本上有三种选择。
There's pretty much like three options.
是你邀请对方来你家吗？
Are you hosting the person at your house?
你是打算去他们家，还是约在酒店见面？
Are you gonna go to their house, or are you gonna play at a hotel?
你最好在见面之前就确定好这些，免得到时候谈话陷入尴尬。
You kinda wanna have this settled before you meet the person so that it's not an awkward conversation when it gets to that point.
所以很多时候如果我们约会的对象负责订酒店，我们就会选一家与酒店相连的酒吧。
So a lot of times if we meet guys and they are going to be responsible for the hotel, we will choose a bar that is connected to the hotel.
这样就不需要转场，因为换地方可能会破坏约会的气氛。
This way you don't have to drive to a second location because that can kill the momentum of the date if you have to drive to a new place.
我们讨论过很多次，有些人我们会邀请来家里，有些人则不会——我们从未一起去过别人家。
We've talked a lot about where certain people we have at our house, certain people we don't we've never gone to somebody's house together.
对吧？
Right?
没有。
No.
以后也不会有。
And nor will we.
我在努力回忆。
I'm trying to think.
我单身时确实去过某些人家里，但作为情侣，我们从未一起去过其他男人家。
When I was single, there were certain people that I went to their houses, but as a couple, we have never gone to another guy's house.
即使是认识的男性朋友，我们也总是邀请他们来我们家。
Even if it's guys that we know, we would always have them here instead.
正确。
Correct.
我们俩都单身时做过，但作为情侣，这是第一次在酒店见男人。
We both done it single, but, no, as a couple, it's hotel's the first time we meet a guy.
之后如果要约会，通常由你决定是让他们来这儿还是另找酒店。
And then if there to be a date after that, it's up to you generally if they're gonna come here or they get another hotel.
涉及很多因素，所以一切都取决于具体情况。
There's a lot of factors involved, so it all depends.
不过，你得清楚自己的舒适度，因为要记住有很多需要考虑的事情。
But, yeah, you wanna know what your comfort level is because remember, there's things to think about.
如果让人来你家，他们就知道你住哪儿了。
If you have somebody come to your house, now they know where you live.
如果约会进展不顺，可能很难让他们离开。
It might be hard to get them out of the house if the date is not going very well.
而且有些人真的很注重隐私。
And, you know, some people really want their privacy.
他们不想让别人介入自己的真实生活。
They don't want people to have access to their real life.
他们把这分得很开。
They keep this very separate.
我们愿意冒这个险。
We're willing to take that chance.
我们喜欢主场优势。
We like the home court advantage.
这让我们感觉更自在。
It makes us more comfortable.
去别人家时，你必须考虑到这样一个事实：你不知道到了那里会遭遇什么。
Going to someone else's house, you have to think about the fact that you don't know what you're gonna encounter when you get to the house.
而且我不想表现得戏剧化，或者病态地认为每个人都想伤害你。
And I don't wanna be dramatic and, like, morbid and sound like everybody is out there to harm you.
但现实地说，你必须意识到外面存在的风险和危险。
But realistically, you have to be aware of the risks and the dangers out there.
你可以去别人家。
You can go to someone's house.
也许那里还有其他人。
Maybe there's other people there.
也许他们有一群室友在那里闲逛。
Maybe they have a bunch of roommates hanging out there.
也许他们家里装了摄像头。
Maybe they have cameras in their house.
说真的，完全无法预料。
Like, literally don't know.
但还有，如果约会不顺利，你无法脱身怎么办？
But also, what if the date goes poorly and you can't get out of their house?
对吧？
Right?
过去我们讨论过的所有这些情况我都遇到过，但我仍然觉得在自己的空间里比盲目进入别人的领地更自在。
I've had all of these situations in the past where we've talked about them, and I still feel more comfortable in my own space than blindly going into someone else's.
然后很明显，大家都喜欢酒店带来的那种禁忌刺激感。
And then, obviously, everybody loves hotels for the kink factor.
你不需要打扫。
You don't have to clean up.
那是中立地带。
It's neutral territory.
这更增添了性感幻想的元素。
It adds to that element of a sexy fantasy.
所以你只是想知道如果事情顺利的话你们会去哪里。
So you just wanna know where you're gonna go if things do work out.
而且你不需要洗衣服。
And you don't have to do laundry.
没错。
Exactly.
我们家里洗衣服的量简直离谱。
We do so much fucking laundry in our house.
一点都不好笑。
It's not even funny.
我讨厌洗衣服，但还是值得的。
I hate it, but it's still worth it.
洗衣和蒸汽清洁。
Laundry and steam cleaning.
好吧。
Alright.
那么我们现在要进入约会中的实际身体接触部分了。
So then we're gonna move on to the actual physical part of the date.
你们现在正在发生性关系。
You're having sex now.
A，你丈夫在场吗？
A, is your husband there?
应该有一个。
Would be one.
如果他在场，他只是旁观，还是参与其中？
If he is there, is he just watching, or is he participating?
他是在指挥动作，还是安静地坐着，只是观察你在做什么？
Is he directing the action, or is he sitting back quietly just taking in whatever you're doing?
现在大家都知道杰森喜欢看激烈的口交、下流的对话和粗暴的性爱。
Everybody by now knows that Jason loves to see a lot of messy blowjobs, a lot of dirty talking, a lot of rough sex.
所以我必须确保这些随时都在进行，以免他失去兴趣。
So I have to make sure that I have that going on at all times so that he doesn't lose interest.
你要确保你们双方都同意。
You wanna make sure that you both agree.
我们是在进行一场感官的约会，激情的约会，还是粗暴的性爱？
Are we having a sensual date, a passionate date, or are we having rough sex?
你不想因为没提前沟通而意外做出让伴侣不高兴的事。
You don't want to do something by accident that's gonna upset your partner because you didn't talk about it.
对吧？
Right?
所以杰森和我总是属于激烈性爱那一类。
So Jason and I always fall into the hard sex category.
如果有一天我在我丈夫面前和别人激情缠绵，我觉得你会疯掉的，因为这对我们来说是不可接受的。
If one day I started making passionate love to someone in front of my husband, I think you would, like, lose your mind because that's not okay with us.
是啊。
Yeah.
那我就会说，好吧。
And I would be like, okay.
这次约会结束了。
This date's over.
懂吗？
You know?
我会说，什么？
I'd be like, what?
不行。
No.
或者如果他试图，你知道怎么回事，但如果他试图表现得热情之类的，我会给他几分钟时间改变方式。
Or if he tried to you know what the deal is, but if he's, like, tried to be, like, passionate and stuff, like, I give him a couple minutes to change it up.
否则事情会很快结束。
Otherwise, things would end kinda quickly.
没错。
Yeah.
但你只是想确保你和伴侣的行为在双方认可的界限之内。
But you just wanna make sure you're operating within the approved boundaries of you and your partner.
你会表露自己的情感吗？
Are you gonna show your emotions?
对吧？
Right?
我们已经到了可以坦诚交流的阶段。
Like, we're at the point where we talked out.
我们会在三人行或多人运动时互相说‘我爱你’。
We say I love you to each other while we're in the middle of a gangbang or a threesome.
你会这样吗？还是你们的关系还没到那个程度，想保留些隐私？
Are you gonna be like that, or are you not at that level yet where you wanna kinda keep that private for each other?
另一个常见的大问题是这个。
Another one is this is always a big question.
男方该射在哪里？
Where's the guy gonna come?
首先，他戴套了吗？还是你们准备无套？
Is he wearing a condom, first of all, or are you playing bareback?
然后他该射在哪里？
And then where is he gonna come?
有些人对被射精的部位有很多规矩。
Some people have a lot of rules about where it's acceptable to get loads put on them.
有些人没有，但男人总会问这个问题，所以准备好答案。
Other people don't, but guys will always ask that, so have an answer.
你们允许接吻吗？
Are you allowed to kiss?
这是许多情侣都遵循的一条重要规则。
That's a big rule that a lot of couples have.
他们对此感到不自在。
They are not comfortable with it.
他们说这太过亲密了。
They say it's too intimate.
我们没有这条规矩。
We don't have that rule.
很多人还有‘除丈夫外禁止肛交’的规则，我们也遵守这一条。
A lot of people also have the no anal except for my husband rule, which we have.
而有些夫妻，你知道的，丈夫想看她被肛交的样子。
And then other couples, you know, the husband wants to see her getting fucked in the ass.
所以务必确保这些身体界限也讨论清楚。
So just make sure that these physical boundaries are also discussed.
约会时哪些行为是禁止的？
What's off limits on the date?
哪些是可以接受的？
What's okay?
除了身体接触部分，还想谈谈你们要设定的情感界限。
And then aside from the physical part, want to talk about the emotional boundaries that you're gonna have.
妻子可以和这个男人建立何种程度的联系？
What kind of connection is the wife allowed to have with this guy?
我们之前稍微讨论过这是一次性约会还是持续约会？
We spoke a little before about is it gonna be a one time date or ongoing date?
根据你所处的开放婚姻关系类型，情况会有所不同。
Depending on what type of hot wife relationship you're in, it's gonna look a little different for you.
但约会之后，女方可以和男方保持什么样的联系？
But after the date, what kind of contact is the woman allowed to have with the guy?
她可以每天给他发消息吗？
Can she text him every day?
她可以随心所欲地告诉他任何事情吗？
Can she tell him anything she wants?
她可以和他调情吗？
Can she flirt with him?
这种交流允许发展到什么程度？
How far is she allowed to take that communication?
尤其当你是单独行动的妻子，或者处于绿帽关系中时。
Especially if you're a wife that's playing solo or you're in a cuck dynamic.
正如杰森之前提到的，可能会发生留宿之类的情况。
As Jason mentioned before, there might be, like, a sleepover.
你可以和男方拥抱吗？
Can you cuddle with the guy?
你可以和男方共进晚餐吗？
Can you go to dinner with the guy?
你可以在丈夫上班时见他吗？
Can you see him when your husband's at work?
规则是什么？
What are the rules?
还有，如果你丈夫同意你去约会但要求必须使用安全套，你能被信任吗？
And, also, can you be trusted if your husband says you can go on a date, you have to use a condom?
你有足够的责任感每次都使用安全套吗？
Are you responsible enough to always use that condom?
还是说总有一天你会决定背着我丈夫和这个男人无套发生关系？
Or is there gonna become a day where you decide that my husband won't know if I fuck this guy raw behind his back?
对吧？
Right?
你不应该养成因为觉得伴侣不会发现就不断突破界限的习惯。
You don't wanna get into the habit of pushing things past your partner just because you think they won't know.
这有点违背了本来的目的。
That's kind of going against the point of this.
不过话说回来，这也取决于你们夫妻间的开放式关系模式。
But, again, it also depends on what kind of hot wife dynamic you have.
每对夫妻的情况都会有些不同。
They're all gonna look a little different.
如果你们夫妻能一起参加约会会很有帮助。
It's helpful if you and your husband are gonna be on the date together.
你们最好准备些秘密手势和暗号以防出现意外情况。
You wanna have some nice secret hand signals and code words just in case anything is going wrong.
你觉得无聊了。
You're bored.
你觉得不舒服了。
You're uncomfortable.
你想离开。
You wanna leave.
进展太快了。
Things are moving too fast.
你不喜欢对方。
You don't like the other person.
要主动站起来打招呼真的很难。
It can be really hard to just get up and say, hey.
我不想再继续了。
I don't wanna do this anymore.
很多时候，你可以给伴侣发信号，然后你丈夫就能说'嘿'。
So a lot of times, you can signal to your partner and then, you know, your husband can say, hey.
你需要喝水吗？
Do you need water?
你需要去洗手间吗？
Do you need to go to the bathroom?
你想休息一会儿吗？
You wanna take a break for a minute?
一旦场所停止营业，结束约会就容易多了。
And once the place stops, it's a lot easier to kind of end the date.
可能只是男方没让你满足，而你希望丈夫介入，但又不想让男方知道你的感受。
It might just be something where the guy's not making you come and you want your husband to jump in, but you don't want the guy to know that's how you're feeling.
所以你给丈夫做了个小手势之类的暗示。
So you gave your husband a little hand signal or something like that.
所以我认为这些总是非常有帮助的。
So I think those are always very helpful.
我们一开始有手势信号。
We had hand signals in the beginning.
现在我们通常只需要一个眼神信号，比如我们看彼此的方式就能明白。
Now we can usually tell just with like an eye signal, like the way we look at each other.
这是需要时间积累的。
So that comes with time.
就像我们常说的，即使你们已经开始发生关系，开始了约会，在酒店房间或你家里，你也不一定要完成这次约会。
And as we always say, just because you started having sex with someone and you started the date, you're in the hotel room or in your house, you don't have to finish the date.
永远不要停留得比你想要的更久。
Never stay longer than you want.
即使男方还没有达到高潮，那也不是你的责任。
Even if the guy did not come yet, that is not your responsibility.
虽然我们确实提倡每个人在夜晚结束时都能尽兴，但这不是我们的义务，尤其是作为女性。
Although we really advocate for everybody coming at the end of the night, It's not our job, especially as the girl.
你不需要做你不想做的事。
You don't need to do things that you don't wanna do.
如果他难以勃起，无法高潮，而且已经尝试了半小时。
If he's having trouble getting hard, he can't come, and it's been a half hour of trying.
你有权说，嘿。
You are allowed to say, hey.
我想我们今晚就到这里吧。
I think we're good for the night.
你知道，我很遗憾你没来，但我们必须走了。
You know, I'm sorry you didn't come, but we need to go.
不要觉得你有义务坚持到最后一刻，因为那样时间久了会让你精疲力尽，而且会让约会中所有有趣的事都变得耗神费力，最后只会变得尴尬。
Don't feel like it's your obligation to stay until the last second because that will suck the life out of you after a while, and it just makes anything that was fun about the date feel draining and exhausting, and it just gets awkward.
我不喜欢那种情况。
I don't like that part.
我们也会告诉男生们，如果你遇到困难，就勇敢点说出来。
We also tell guys if you're having trouble, just man up and say, hey.
我遇到困难了。
I'm having trouble.
我们改天再约好吗？
Can we do this another night?
如果行不通就不要勉强。
Don't force it if it's not working.
我还想说，如果你和伴侣正在激烈争吵或存在感情问题，就不要去约会。
One other thing I wanna say is that if you and your partner are, like, seriously fighting or having relationship problems, do not go on dates.
不要把其他人卷入你们的感情纠纷中，因为他们会感受到那种负面能量。
Do not involve other people in your drama because they will feel that energy.
我和杰森都曾作为第三者参加过情侣的约会，当他们相处不和睦时，那种尴尬和不适感真的让第三方处境非常难堪。
And Jason and I have both been the third person to going on a date with a couple that was not getting along, and it is so awkward and uncomfortable that it's really not fair to put that person in that position.
而且这对你们自己也没有任何帮助。
And it's really not gonna help your either.
在向他人开放你们的关系之前，你需要确保自己处于良好的状态。
You wanna make sure you're in a good place before you start opening up your relationship to other people.
显然我们还得谈谈约会之后的事。
And then obviously we have to talk about after the date.
所以根据约会进展和安排，如果丈夫在场，重拾亲密可能在约会期间发生。
So depending on how the date is going and how it is structured, you know, reclaiming sex might take place at the date if your husband is there.
也可能在约会结束回家后进行，但你们总该在约会后保留这段重聚时光。
It might take place after the date when you get back home, but you should always have that coming back together part after the date.
我注意到最近有人对'重拾'这个词有意见，觉得它冒犯——好像丈夫占有你似的，他们改用'重新连接'来形容。
And I've noticed that lately some people have a problem with the word reclaiming because they feel like it's offensive, like your husband owns you, and they call it reconnecting sex.
对此我有不同看法。
I have some thoughts about that.
如果你们在玩夫妻交换之类的游戏，或者三人行时双方都参与其中，之后再做爱，我觉得用'重新连接'很贴切。
I think reconnecting sex is a great word if you're both playing your couple swapping or something like that or say when we have an MMF threesome and we're both equally involved and then we have sex later.
那才是真正的重新连接。
I think that is reconnecting sex.
但在我们这种热辣娇妻关系中，我其实更喜欢'重拾'这个词。
In our specific hot wife dynamic, I actually like the word reclaiming.
这个词并不会让我不适。
It does not bother me.
我觉得它精准描述了实际情况——杰森确实是将我'出借'给别人后又将我'收回'。
I think it really does describe what is happening because Jason is literally lending me out to someone and then he is taking me back.
所以对我而言这就是重拾，我不觉得这个词有什么负面含义。
So that is reclaiming to me, and I don't find anything negative about the word.
我很喜欢这个词。
I like it.
我觉得这种描述方式很性感，我真的很喜欢。
I think it's a sexy way of describing what's happening, and I really like it.
不过如果让你更自在的话，用'重新连接'来形容性爱也可以。
But feel free to use reconnecting sex if that makes you more comfortable.
听起来你好像断开了连接似的。
It almost sounds like then you're disconnected.
是啊。
Yeah.
我能理解你为什么不喜欢那样。
I could see how you wouldn't like that.
这并不意味着我也更喜欢'收回'这个词。
That doesn't I like reclaiming better as well.
嗯。
Yeah.
所以我觉得要看具体情况决定用哪个词，我对'收回'这个词完全没有负面感受。
So I think it depends on what the situation is, which word you might wanna use, I have no negative feelings towards the word being reclaimed.
我不认为这会贬低我作为个体或女性的价值。
I don't think it lessens me as an individual or a woman at all.
在这种关系中，重新拥有性爱才是终极奖赏。
That reclaiming sex is really the ultimate reward from the hot wife relationship.
这就是我们追求的目标。
That's what we're looking for.
我们想要回到伴侣身边。
We want to come back to our partner.
我们想要那种疯狂又火热的性爱。
We wanna have that really crazy hot sex.
如果没有那种激情，总觉得少了点什么。
And without that, it always feels like something is lacking.
在重拾亲密后，我们还喜欢进行某种形式的善后关怀，我丈夫会确保我在情感上、心理上和身体上都得到照顾。
And then with the reclaiming sex, we also like to have some form of aftercare where my husband makes sure that I am emotionally and mentally and physically taken care of.
具体形式可以完全按照我的意愿来。
It could be whatever I want it to be.
可能是洗个澡、吃顿饭、或者相拥而卧。
It could be a shower, a meal, cuddling.
也可能是聊些事情。
It could be talking about something.
可以躺在床上不说话，或者什么都不做。
It could be laying in bed and not talking at all or it could be absolutely nothing.
但对我来说，每次约会后的善后方式都不一样。
But the aftercare after each date for me is always different.
所以他总会直接问我：'你现在需要我做什么？'
So he literally will ask me what do you need from me right now?
我会毫无保留地告诉他，因为如果你指望伴侣读心术，迟早会出问题——他可能十次猜对九次，但那次失误就足以让你崩溃，得不到真正需要的东西。
And I have no problem telling him because if you expect your partner to read your mind you're gonna run into some problems because he might guess right nine out of 10 times but that one time that he's wrong could really leave you devastated and needing something that you're not getting.
所以沟通永远是解决问题的最佳途径。
So communication is always the best way to go about stuff.
你知道，高潮和性爱固然美妙刺激，但更难以言表的是——深夜时分你只想蜷缩在我的臂弯里。
You know, orgasm and sex, it's all great and fun and hot, but knowing that I'm the one whose arms you wanna be in at the end of a night or something like that is just, you know, indescribable.
你知道吗？
You know?
你可能被一屋子的男人轮流享用，然后我们回家洗澡什么的，最后你躺在我怀里。
You could be passed around to a whole room of guys, and then, you know, we come home, we shower, whatever, and and you're laying in my arms.
我就觉得，这太美妙了。
And I'm like, this is amazing.
没有什么比这更棒的了。
It just doesn't get better than that.
我还想补充一点，就是约会后可能发生的清理环节。
So Something else I wanna add is, like, the whole cleanup factor that could happen on dates.
有些男人，有些丈夫特别喜欢做清理工作。
Some guys, some husbands are like huge, huge cleanup guys.
他们想把你约会对象留在你下体的精液舔干净。
They wanna eat the cum out of your pussy from the guy that you went on the date with.
他们想把你全身都舔干净。
They wanna lick your body clean.
这对他们来说是如此美妙的礼物。
That is such a beautiful gift to them.
或者也许你让你丈夫这么做是因为他是个懦弱顺从的人，你在展示对他的支配权。
Or maybe you're making your husband do that because he is a cock and he is submissive and you're showing that domination over him.
这不是我们喜欢的，也不是所有夫妻都喜欢的。
That's not something that we're into, and that's not something that all couples are into.
但如果你喜欢这样，那就尽管去做吧。
But if it is something that you enjoy, then by all means, go for it.
是啊。
Yeah.
我们遇到过那些自称直男却爱清理我留在你体内的家伙。
We've met, guys that claim to be straight that love to clean up my cream pie out of you.
懂吗？
You know?
他们就是单纯迷恋这事，甚至跟鸡巴无关。
They just it's something that's not even a cock thing.
他们就是好这口。
They just are into it.
他们他妈为此疯狂。
They fucking go crazy over it.
这让你也跟着疯狂。
Which makes you go crazy over it.
但在我们的关系里，你从来不是负责清理的那个。
But in our relationship, you were never the cleanup guy.
总是和我们一起玩的另一个男人来当清理工。
It's always the other guy that we play with that would be the cleanup guy.
哦，没错。
Oh, yeah.
百分百。
100%.
不过这倒是能给关系增添情趣的另一个元素。
But that's just another element that could add some fun to the relationship.
这甚至从未在我脑海中闪现过。
That's never even been a thought of a thought of mine.
就像，我甚至从未有过这样的欲望。
Like, if I ever even I've never had a desire to do that.
然后哦，最后一件事就是你们的复盘。
And then oh, the last thing would be your debrief.
因为沟通很重要，你们要保持对话畅通。
Because of communication, you wanna keep that dialogue open.
所以每次约会后，无论是当晚、第二天还是两天后，你们都应该讨论约会的感受。
So after every date, if it's that night, the next day, two days after, whatever it is, you always want to have a conversation about how the date went.
哪些方面很好？
What was good?
哪些方面不好？
What was bad?
你会采取哪些不同的做法？
What would you do differently?
你对伴侣的任何行为感到不满吗？
Were you upset by anything your partner did?
关于那个第三者，有什么让你产生特别感受的事情吗？因为你们需要立即解决所有问题。
Was there anything about the extra person that you felt a certain way about because you want to fix any problems that you have immediately.
你们要确保在安排下次约会前解决所有矛盾。
You want to make sure that you solve any errors before you schedule your next date.
你们不能让这些问题不断累积，越滚越大。
You don't want these problems to keep building up and piling up and getting bigger and bigger.
通过讨论约会、给它打分并进行这样的对话，你就能为下一次约会做出调整和适应。
So by talking about the date and rating it and having this conversation, you are able to adjust and adapt for the next date that you're gonna go on.
如果在约会中出了问题或伴侣让你不高兴，这并不需要演变成大吵一架、争论不休或互相指责。
And if something is wrong in the date or your partner upset you, this does not need to turn into like a massive fight or an argument or a blame game.
关键在于诚实和开放，你们双方都有权对某种情况表达感受。
It's just about being honest and open and you are both allowed to have feelings about a situation.
我们不可能在所有事情上都意见一致，但你必须倾听对方的想法，加以考虑，也许下次就能在某些方面达成妥协。
We don't always agree on everything but you have to hear what your other person is saying, take it into consideration, and then maybe you compromise on something the next time.
要知道，你必须把伴侣放在第一位。
You know, it's you have to put your partner first.
你与伴侣的关系比任何约会、任何你想要的性爱、任何你想实现的幻想都更重要。
Your relationship with your partner comes before any date that you're going on, any sex that you want to have, any fantasy that you want to fulfill.
所以你真的需要认真对待这一点。
So you really need to take that seriously.
偶尔退后一步重新评估你们之间的问题是完全没问题的。
And it's okay to take a step back every once in a while and reevaluate if you're having some problems.
这完全正常。
That's totally fine.
这会是常态。
It's gonna be normal.
没有什么事情是百分百完美的，但你只想确保你们在共同朝着这个目标努力，这是需要团队协作的。
Nothing is ever a 100% perfect, but you just wanna make sure that you're working together towards this goal and it is a group effort.
最后我们要讨论的是：人们总会问我们，我怎么知道自己准备好尝试这个了？
So the last thing we're gonna talk about is people will always ask us, how do I know if I'm ready to try this?
对吧？
Right?
就像，他们觉得这在理论上听起来很棒。
Like, they think it sounds amazing on paper.
他们怎么知道是否真的应该继续这件事？
How do they know if they should actually go forward with this?
不幸的是，没有确切的方法能判断别人是否准备好了，但或许你可以留意一些迹象和信号。
Unfortunately, there's no real way to decide if somebody else is ready or not, but there are some kind of signs and signals maybe you could look out for.
那么对于想分享自己妻子的人，你们会在做爱时谈论分享妻子的话题吗？
So when it comes to the guy that wants to share his wife, do you talk about sharing your wife when you're having sex?
这会让你兴奋吗？
Does it turn you on?
你会看热辣妻子题材的色情片并感到兴奋吗？
Do you watch hot wife porn and get turned on?
当别的男人赞美你妻子时，这会让你兴奋还是嫉妒？
Does it turn you on when another man compliments your wife or does it make you jealous?
这将是一个非常重要的因素。
That's gonna be a very big factor right there.
如果你在酒吧，去洗手间回来后发现有男人在和你妻子搭讪，你会作何反应？
If you're at a bar and you go to the bathroom and you come back and some guy is talking to your wife, how do you react to that?
你会因为感到不舒服而立刻过去打断他们吗？
Do you immediately go over there and insert yourself because you're uncomfortable with it?
还是你会稍微退后观察他们交谈，因为她受到关注而觉得非常刺激？
Or do you kind of wait back a little bit and just watch them talk to each other because you think it's really exciting that she's getting attention?
那么最大的问题会是：在非性爱场合讨论分享你的妻子会让你兴奋吗？
And then the biggest one is gonna be do you get turned on talking about sharing your wife during a non sexual setting?
我的意思是，比如你们只是看电视时突然开始讨论分享妻子的话题。
So what I mean about that is if you're just watching TV and you start talking about sharing your wife.
你们没有在做爱，没人脱衣服，没有任何性行为发生，只是随机聊到这个话题。
So you're not having sex, no one's naked, nothing sexual is happening, you're just having a random conversation about it.
这能让你硬起来吗？
Does that make you hard?
我认为这会是个非常重要的因素。
I think that's gonna be a very big factor.
对吧？
Right?
因为有些时候，比如我正在做晚饭，杰森突然会说：天啊。
Because there are days when, you know, I'm cooking dinner and all of a sudden Jason's like, oh my god.
我现在想到要分享你就硬得不行。
I'm rock hard thinking about sharing you right now.
对吧？
Right?
毫无预兆地。
Out of nowhere.
对我来说这就像，哇，你是真的对此很着迷。
And to me, that's like, wow, you really are into that.
你不是随便说说的。
You're not just saying it.
你并不是在假装。
You're not just pretending.
因为在性爱场景中很容易兴奋，当你开始说些下流话，谈论这些幻想时，同时有人触碰你，这与平常的对话截然不同。
Because it's easy to get turned on when you are in a sexual situation and you start talking shit and, you know, talking about these fantasies but someone is touching you at the same time, that's very different than just having a regular conversation outside of it.
所以就像测试你对不同事物的反应。
So just kind of like gauge your reaction to different things.
然后你知道，我想杰森之前提到过，你是否能接受妻子与比你身材更好、更年轻、阳具更大的男人在一起？还是只允许她与那些无法像你一样取悦她的人交往？因为这将是另一个信号。
And then you know I think Jason mentioned earlier, are you comfortable with your wife being with someone that is in better shape than you, younger than you, has a bigger cock than you, or are you only okay with her being with people that won't please her as good as you can because that's gonna be another signal.
你要确保自己不会拿他们与自己比较。
You wanna make sure that you are not comparing them to yourself.
这些人与你和妻子之间的相处方式完全无关。
They are completely unrelated to how you and your wife behave together.
那么你是否愿意在必要时帮忙筛选男性照片，帮妻子找到合适的人选？
And then are you comfortable sorting through dick pics if need be to help your wife find the right guy?
因为我觉得杰森从没想过婚姻生活会让他看这么多该死的男性私处照片。
Because I don't think Jason ever thought married life would require him to see so many fucking dick pics.
对吧？
Right?
我见过很多这类照片。
I see a lot of them.
甚至还会收到我没索要的视频。
And I see videos I don't even ask for.
各种内容我都见过，但这确实是这个圈子的常态。
I see all types of stuff, but, it does come with the territory.
那么对于妻子们来说，需要思考的是：当丈夫想分享你时，你感到受宠若惊还是被冒犯？
So then for the wives, some things to think about are, do you feel flattered or offended that your husband wants to share you?
如果你有一丝被冒犯的感觉，那这可能不适合你。
If you are even remotely offended, then maybe this is not for you.
这应该能激起你的兴趣。
This should peak your interest.
这应该会让你在丈夫说'嘿，我很想看你与别人在一起'时变得湿润且兴奋。
This should make you like get wet and horny when your husband says, hey, I would love to see you with somebody else.
你将其视为爱的表达还是无礼的提议？
Do you view it as a loving gesture or a disrespectful proposition?
用身体挑逗丈夫的想法会让你兴奋吗？
Does the idea of using your body to tease your husband excite you?
因为对我来说，最棒的部分就是我能做各种事让丈夫兴奋。
Because for me, that's like the best part is that I can do all the stuff to turn my husband on.
这才是整件事的意义所在。
That is the whole point of this.
你喜欢成为关注焦点吗？
Do you like being the center of attention?
你能坦然在丈夫面前因别人而高潮吗？
Are you gonna be comfortable orgasming in front of your husband by somebody else?
因为一开始这可能也有点奇怪。
Because that could be a little weird at first too.
这些都是你需要解决的问题，并且要和伴侣好好谈谈。
So these are all the things that you're gonna have to work through and, you know, have these conversations with your partner.
从那时起，人们总是想知道我们该如何做这件事？
And then from there people always want to know well how do we do this?
方法有很多种，但我建议从简单的开始。
There are many different ways but I really say start simple.
所以在讨论过后，也许可以在床上一起角色扮演幻想，确保这是件令人兴奋的事。
So after you have the conversation about it maybe role play the fantasy in bed together to make sure it is something that is stimulating.
你们可以外出在公共场合，当着伴侣的面随意与陌生人调情，稍微感受下真实情况可能是怎样的。
You can go out in public and just start randomly flirting with strangers in front of your partner to get a little feel of what it might really be like.
去参加一个无压力的生活方式活动。
Go to a lifestyle event that's no pressure.
也许可以加入一个生活方式网站，先观察了解情况。
Maybe join a lifestyle website and just start scoping things out.
但你不必立即投入其中。
But you don't have to just immediately jump into things.
慢慢来。
Take your time with it.
一步步来。
Go piece by piece.
只需看看你喜欢什么，不喜欢什么。
And just see what you like and what you don't like.
但最重要的是要记住：约会时不要抱有任何期待。
But the most important things to remember are go on a date with no expectations.
永远不要强求任何事情。
Never force anything.
认识某人并不意味着你必须和他们一起玩。
Meeting someone does not mean you need to play with them.
拒绝永远意味着拒绝，而同意需要持续确认。
No always means no and consent is always ongoing.
诚实地说明你的经验水平。
Be honest about your experience level.
如果你是新手或尝试新事物，要事先说明。
If you are new or trying something new, be upfront about it.
让对方知道。
Let the other person know.
你不想让别人以为你经验丰富且游刃有余，结果却发现你从未做过导致场面失控。
You don't wanna make someone think you are really experienced and comfortable in a situation and then it turns out you've never done it so it becomes a train wreck.
让对方知道，然后他们可以决定是否愿意帮你实现这个幻想。
Let that person know and then they can decide whether or not they wanna help you fulfill that fantasy or not.
坦然接受事物的本来面目。
And just take things for what they are.
要知道，如果你有个糟糕的夜晚，就一笑而过。
You know, if you have a bad night, laugh at it.
如果你有个美妙的夜晚，就好好享受。
If you have a great night, relish in it.
一起开心地探索并分享这个秘密。
And just have fun together exploring and sharing this secret together.
因为归根结底，这才是最重要的。
Because at the end of the day, that's what it's about.
无论那天是什么日子，你和伴侣共同经历的新体验都将成为难忘的回忆。
No matter what the date was, you still had a new experience with your partner that is creating memories, you're never gonna forget.
没错。
Yep.
快乐火辣人妻。
Happy hot wife.
幸福人生。
Happy life.
千真万确。
100% true.
祝所有想尝试的朋友好运。
So good luck to all of you out there that might try this.
今天就到这里。
And that's it for today.
下周新一期节目再见。
So we will see you next week with a new episode.
期间欢迎访问我的网站 caseydonatello.com。
In the meantime, check out my website, caseydonatello.com.
请将问题和评论发送至热线。
Send your questions and comments to the hotline.
(973) 826-0859。
(973) 826-0859.
如果想看真实火辣人妻的约会日常及我们的相处之道，欢迎订阅OnlyFans账号Hot Wife Life。
And check out our OnlyFans at Hot Wife Life if you wanna see a real hot wife going on dates and how we kind of handle that.
就这样吧。
So that's it.
好的。
Okay.
再见。
Bye.
再见。
Bye.
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