科勒真情告白：育儿、共同抚养与母亲的内疚感

我想说，我最常被邀请谈论的话题之一就是育儿。我觉得我们都在育儿领域寻求建议。所以我对今天的节目内容感到非常兴奋。确实认为做母亲是世界上最艰难但也最美好的工作。人们总说，你是怎么做到的？

I would say one of my top requests that I get to talk about is parenting. I think we all are searching for advice in the parenting world. So I'm really excited to get into today's episode. Do think being a mom is the hardest but the best job in the world. People that always say, how do you do it?

或者怎么会有人能养育这么多孩子？其实，你总能找到方法，人们最终都会适应。对于那些感到害怕的人，我们都会害怕。母亲的愧疚感绝对真实存在，只有成为母亲才能真正理解。

Or how can somebody have so many kids? Like, you always find a way and people figure it out. For people who are scared, we're all scared. Mom guilt is definitely real. You can't understand it until you're a mom.

比如，我不可能每次都参加孩子们的所有活动，而他们也很擅长让你感到内疚。母亲的愧疚感如此强烈。在情感上平衡共同育儿的角色确实很难。有时我内心会产生防御心理，但我必须提醒自己，也要允许特里斯坦发挥父亲的作用，我正在努力。

Like, I can't be at everyone's activities all the time, and they're good at making you feel bad too. Mom guilt is so wild. Balancing being a coparenter emotionally, it is hard. Sometimes I do get defensive internally, and I have to remind myself. I have to allow for Tristan to be the dad too, and I try.

抓住你的机会。探索香奈儿全新香水Champs Ousplanted。今天我想再做一期单人节目，其中我最常被问到或请求讨论的话题之一就是育儿。我知道在我的社交圈里，我们总是在比较——你们家这样做吗？你家孩子那样做吗？

Take your chance. Discover Champs Ousplanted, the new fragrance, Chanel. Today, I wanted to do another solo episode and one of my I would say one of my top questions or request that I get to talk about is parenting. I know in my social groups all we do is compare like do you guys do this? Do your kids do that?

这正常吗？还是不正常？所以我并不惊讶育儿问题是我收到最多的请求之一。我想我们都在寻找建议，希望在育儿路上少些孤独感。因此我对今天这期节目充满期待。

Is this normal? Is it not? So I'm not surprised that one of my number one requests is parenting. I think we all are searching for advice and to feel less alone in the parenting world. So I'm really excited to get into today's episode.

我觉得每个人，至少我认识的小女孩们，都会幻想自己长大后的生活。比如我要生五个孩子之类的。你对自己成年生活有过这样的幻想。我确实曾以为自己会生两个以上的孩子。但有了孩子后，一切都不一样了。

I feel like everyone, at least I know little girls, they fantasize about their life when they get older. Like I'm going to have five kids and yada yada yada. And I think you have this fantasy for yourself of what your adult life is going to be. I definitely thought I was going to have more than two kids. And once you have kids, it's just different.

那时你才意识到：第一，这异常艰难，比我们想象中父母日常经历的还要困难得多；第二，这太可怕了。我不知道是否因为我们所处的时代能接触到太多信息，感觉我们被更多负面而非正面信息轰炸。所以对我来说，现有两个孩子，我觉得这已是我目前能保护的范围了。

That's when you realize, okay, number one, it's incredibly hard, so much harder than I think we ever realize what our parents go through on a daily, but it's so scary. And I don't know if it's the times that we're living in and how much access we have to so much information. I feel like we are bombarded with more negativity than positivity. So for me, I have my two kids. I feel like that's how much I can protect right now.

如果我有更多资源，我当然能做到。但我觉得目前这就是我的极限了。年轻时根本不会考虑这些——谁会想着孩子终将独自面对世界生存这种事？童年时谁都不会真正思考这些成人世界的沉重话题。

If I have more, of course, I would be able to do that. But I feel like this is what I'm able to do right now. But when you're younger, don't think about all those things. I don't think about, okay, eventually my kids are going to have to be left alone in this world and survive on their own. You just don't think about real grown up shit when you're a kid.

我认为很多人都有这种幻想，随着年龄增长它们会改变。实际成为母亲是最不可思议的经历。而那些选择不要孩子的人，我也非常尊重——社会总在灌输'没有孩子的人生就不完整'的观念，但每个人都该有选择自由。我也有两三好友主动选择了丁克。

So I think a lot of us have these fantasies, and they change the older we get. Actual motherhood, I think is the most incredible thing. And people who decide to not have children, I also praise those people because I think society sort of makes you believe that if you don't have children, then your life is less than or it's not a fulfilling life. And I think everyone should have the freedom to do what they want. And I also have one or two friends that have chosen to not have children.

我为他们这个决定感到骄傲。并非他们成不了好母亲，而是清醒认知自己的人生阶段——这对他们是最佳选择。坦白说，对那些潜在的孩子也是最好的。有些人做出这种决定时，我们该给予尊重而非指责。虽然我认为母亲是世上最艰难也最美好的职业，每当有人问'你怎么做到的？'

And I'm really proud of them for making that choice because not that they wouldn't be great mothers, but they know, they just know where they are in life and it's the best thing for them. And I honestly think it would be the best thing for those children. And some people make those decisions, and we should be proud of those people as opposed to shaming those people. I do think being a mom is the hardest, but best job in the world. For people that always say, how do you do it?

或'怎么能养这么多孩子？'——人总会找到方法的。对我来说每天都是享受。即便精疲力竭到崩溃边缘，当看到那些依赖你的小家伙做出天真举动时，瞬间就能重获能量。所以恐惧很正常，我们都会害怕。

Or how can somebody have so many kids? Like, you always find a way and people figure it out. And for me, I love every single day. And regardless if you are the most exhausted person, if you feel like you're at the end of your rope when you are around those children and you know that these little humans are relying on you and they do something that might be really silly or anything, it definitely gives you that resurgence of energy. So for people who are scared, we're all scared.

我从没见过谁真正准备好当父母。记得和前夫迫切想要孩子，多次尝试未果。但即便当时是计划怀孕，真怀上了恐怕也会瞬间恐慌——因为生活将天翻地覆。

And no one, at least I've never met anyone that's like, I'm ready to have a baby. You might think that. I remember when I was with my ex husband, I wanted a baby so badly and we tried and we tried and it didn't work out for me in that time. And probably though, even though I was trying and intentionally trying to have a baby, probably if I got pregnant, I would be terrified the second I got pregnant because it's scarier. Life is changing and it's a different world.

这是片未知领域。所以任何人对怀孕生育的恐惧都很合理，我们都经历过。经常有人问我共同抚养的关系——'怎么样？''你们怎么配合的？'

It's something that's unknown. So I think that anyone who has fears being pregnant or having a baby, I think all those fears are valid and we all feel them. I get asked a lot about my co parenting relationship. I get asked a lot, how is it? How do we co parent?

'会有冲突吗？'就特里斯坦和我而言，在共同育儿方面确实没有矛盾。虽然其他关系领域存在纠纷...但必须承认，我们在育儿配合上是天衣无缝的。

Is it drama? So for Tristan and myself, there's really no drama when it comes to co parenting. There's drama in other areas of our relationship, friendship, whatever it's called. Him and I are seamless co parents. I will say that.

对此我真的很感激。特里斯坦信任我这个母亲。所以我不会遇到太多反对，他也不会质疑我说的很多事情。比如，如果我说想让孩子上这所学校，他可能会想自己做些调查之类的，但他会相信我是为他们选择了最好的学校。如果我要带他们去看某个医生，他不会说‘让我带他们去看我的医生’或‘让我再打电话问问’之类的话。

And I'm really grateful for that. Tristan trusts me as a mom. And so I don't get a lot of pushback or he doesn't doubt a lot of things that I say. Like, if I'm saying I want the kids to go to this school, he'll probably want to do his own research or whatnot, but he'll trust that I'm putting them in the best school. If I need to take them to a certain doctor, he's not like, well, let me take them to my doctor or let me call around.

他相信我所做的一切都是出于对孩子最大的利益。他知道我不会做任何伤害孩子的事，也不会在这方面给我制造困难。所以我非常感激。我会和孩子谈论共同抚养的事吗？我不会和孩子讨论共同抚养的问题。

He trusts that I always have their best interest at heart. He just knows that I'm not going to do anything to harm the kids, and he doesn't make that part difficult on me. So I'm very grateful for that. Do I talk to my kids about co parenting? I don't talk to my kids about co parenting.

我尽量把成年人的对话局限在成年人之间。如果我和特里斯坦吵架，如果我们相处不好，诸如此类的事，我的孩子们都不会知道。他们不需要知道这些。我觉得我们成年人把事情复杂化了，因为我们把自己的感受和自尊心掺杂其中。我的孩子与任何成年人的事情都无关。

So I try to keep adult conversations for adults. If me and Tristan are fighting, if we're not getting along, any of that, my kids don't know about it. They don't need to know about it. I think us adults really complicate things because we put our own feelings and egos in the way. My kids have nothing to do with anything adult.

他们与特里斯坦和我之间的事无关。他们只需要知道妈妈和爸爸爱他们。爸爸会出现，妈妈会出现，我们都在这里。情况确实有些特殊，因为特里斯坦在NBA打球。自从特鲁出生以来，他整个赛季都在外州打球，塔图姆的整个生活也是如此。

They have nothing to do with Tristan and myself. All they need to know is mommy and daddy love them. Daddy shows up, mommy shows up, and we're here. It is a different circumstance because Tristan plays in the NBA. And since True's been born, he's played out of state for her whole life and Tatum's whole life.

所以他们知道爸爸一年中有八九个月不在身边，因为他在NBA赛季中。他们会在他对阵洛杉矶球队时见到他，或者如果学校假期合适，他们会去看他。但整个夏天他都会在身边。他们已经习惯了这种生活。所以即使长时间见不到爸爸，他们也不会觉得奇怪，但他们每天都会和他通话。

So they know that their dad isn't around, I want to say eight to nine months out of the year because he's in the NBA season. So they see him when he plays an LA team or if it works with school breaks, they go to see him. But then he's around all summer. They're just used to that. So it's not weird if they're not seeing their dad for long stretches of time, but they talk to him every single day.

但我没有坐下来对他们说‘知道吗，我和你爸爸是共同抚养你们的’。他们只知道这是我们的生活方式。而且我认为特里斯坦在NBA打球，因为我们最初是在一起的，现在分开了，这可能是让我们的共同抚养对他们来说如此轻松的最好原因。他们没有察觉到变化。

But no, I haven't sat down and be like, know, me and your dad, we co parent you too. They just know that this is our lifestyle. And I do think Tristan being in the NBA, because we were together at first, now we're not. That's probably the best thing that made our co parenting so easy for them. They didn't notice a change.

比如‘哦，现在爸爸离开的时间更长了’。由于他的职业性质，他们没有注意到这一点。他们只知道他经常不在家。而通过FaceTime的交流从未改变过。孩子们有没有问过为什么他们不和爸爸住在一起？

Like, oh, now my daddy's gone a lot more. They didn't notice that because of his career. They just knew he was gone a lot. And the communication from FaceTime never changed. Do the kids ever ask why they don't live with their dad?

不，他们从未问过。我不知道这算不算奇怪。但他们觉得这挺酷的。不是说他们不和爸爸住一起不好，而是觉得酷。比如，哇，我们在洛杉矶有两套房子。

No, they've never asked. I don't know if that's weird or not. But they sort of think it's cool. Like not that they don't live with their dad, but they think it's cool. Like, oh my gosh, we have two houses in LA.

他们会说，哇，我爸爸有房子，妈妈也有房子。他们从没问过。塔图姆七月份就三岁了，所以他还不懂。而楚伊太小了，我和特里斯坦同居时她几乎没有记忆。

Like they're like, wow, my daddy has a house and my mommy has a house. They've never asked. Tatum is gonna be three at the July. So he doesn't know. And True has never been when me and Tristan were living together, she was so young.

她的记忆里根本不记得我们曾同居过。楚伊今年四月刚满七岁，大约两年前她会说些‘你丈夫’之类的话。我问‘谁是我丈夫？’她说‘我爸爸’。

So her memory just she wouldn't remember that we did live together at one point. So I don't know, but they haven't. So True just turned seven in April and maybe like two years ago, True would say something like your husband or whatever. And I was like, who's my husband? And she was My daddy.

我当时想，好吧。我只是不明白她的思维逻辑。因为她不可能有相关记忆，她从没见过我们接吻之类。我不想直接否认‘他不是’，不知该如何处理。

And I was like, Oh, okay. I just didn't know what her thought process was. Because from where she would have the memory of it, she's never seen us kiss before or anything like that. And I didn't want to say, no, he's not. I didn't know what to do.

于是咨询心理医生，她说孩子太小，这是他们的联想方式。如果成为问题再讨论，现在她会自己弄明白或继续提问。等她准备好了自然会问，但她后来没再提。

So I asked my therapist and she said, oh, she's so young. This is how they associate things. If it gets to be a problem, we'll talk about it. But right now she'll figure it out or ask more questions. When she's ready, she'll ask questions, but she never asked questions then.

所以我不打算主动说‘我和你爸没在一起’。医生也说没必要。如果她再提起可以讨论，若她提问我绝不会撒谎说‘我们结婚了，婚姻就是这样’。

So I wasn't going to be like, just so you know, me and your dad are not together. I didn't feel the need. And the therapist also said, there's no need to say that. If she brings it up again, we can talk about it. And if she asks questions, of course, I would never lie to her and say, we're married and this is what marriage looks like.

有瞬间我很难过，担心她以为婚姻就是两个人不住一起、不接吻、不恩爱。我不想让她这么想。但她太小了，加上他不住在同一个州，这话题并不重要——毕竟他总是不在城里。

No. I was sad for a minute thinking, oh gosh, does she think this is what a marriage is where two people don't live together, they don't kiss, they don't show affection. Like I didn't want her to also think that. But again, she's so young and he doesn't live in the same state and all that. So it wasn't, it just wasn't a big topic because he was and out of town all the time.

她现在七岁了。我不知道是别人告诉她的还是她自己意识到年纪大了一点，但她知道我们没有结婚，因为她说过这样的话。她会问，你和爸爸没有结婚，对吧？我就回答，是的，我们没有。她确实问过。

She's now seven. And I don't know if someone else has told her or she's just like figured it out that she's a little older, but she knows that we're not married because she has said things. She's like, you and my daddy didn't get married, did you? And I was like, no, we didn't. Like, she's asked.

但从来都是最随意的陈述。从来没有过为什么？你们为什么不结婚？她只是说，你没和爸爸结婚对吧？我说，是的。

But it's never it's just been the most casual statement. It's never been like, why? Why didn't you guys get married? She just said, you didn't marry my daddy, did you? I said, I didn't.

然后我问，你对这件事有什么感觉？她就又开始玩她的芭比娃娃了。所以孩子们的适应能力其实比我们想象的要强得多。而且我觉得这也不是什么大事，因为她知道我们家庭里没有失去爱，没有争吵。

And I go, how do you feel about that? She goes, And just starts playing with her Barbies again. So kids are way more resilient than we do give them credit for. But also, I don't think it's as big as a deal because she knows there's no love lost like in our household. There is no fighting.

特里斯坦像往常一样经常过来。所以我不觉得孩子们感受到很大的空缺，因为我不让他们有这种感觉。我认为不应该让孩子卷入任何成年人的事情。我不想剥夺他们的纯真，夺走他们的童年。这些事本来就跟他们无关。

Tristan comes around as much as he always came around. So I just don't think they feel this big void because I don't allow them to feel that. I believe in having kids involved in any adult stuff. I don't wanna strip away their innocence, take away their childhood. They had nothing to do with any of this stuff.

所以我不认同那种做法。他在城里的时候，你们会为了孩子一起做家庭活动吗？比如生日晚餐、迪士尼乐园之类的？我会做孩子们真正想做的事。比如今天楚儿有她的第一节网球课，我就邀请了特里斯坦，因为她说希望爸爸能在场。

So I don't believe in that kind of stuff. When he is in town, are you doing like family activities together for the kids? Like birthday dinners, Disneyland, those types of things? So I do whatever really the kids want. If for example, today True has her very first tennis lesson, so I invited Tristan because she said I would love my daddy to be there.

我邀请了他。我没什么问题。实际上我和特里斯坦相处得非常好。我不介意和他待在一起。我们刚举办了儿童版的'塔可星期二'聚餐。

I invite him. I don't have a problem. Like me and Tristan actually get along super well. I don't have a problem being around him. We just had taco Tuesday with, kid version, taco Tuesday.

我邀请了特里斯坦和我们的一个共同朋友来参加，孩子们很喜欢。所以我肯定会让特里斯坦参与，但仅限于和孩子有关的事，他不是来陪我闲逛的。有时候我还是想要母女或母子独处的时间，但如果是重要的、我觉得合适的事，那完全没问题。特里斯坦住得离我很近。孩子们会说，我就想去爸爸家吃晚饭。

And I invited Tristan and one of our mutual friends to come, and the kids love it. So I will definitely have Tristan around, but for kid related things, he's not just around to hang out with me. You know, sometimes I still want like my mommy daughter time or my mommy son time, but if it's something big where I think it's appropriate, then totally. Tristan lives very close to me. The kids are like, I just want to go to my daddy's house and have dinner.

很好。所以我会把他们送到那边，他们照做就是。特里斯坦清楚我对孩子的事绝不含糊，他也一样。他知道别整那些没用的，比如打架斗殴这种事。

Great. So I will send them down there and they do that. Tristan knows that I don't play about the kids, and he doesn't play about the kids. Like he knows don't bring any nonsense. Like there's no fighting.

任何出格的事都不行。在涉及孩子的问题上，我们彼此都非常尊重对方。但我要对那些好奇'你们怎么做到的'的人说，如果不是因为我，事情不会这么顺利。是我让这种共同抚养的关系变得轻松。

There's no nothing. And we both just really respect one another when it comes to the children. But I will say for people out there who are like, how can you make this work? If it wasn't for me, I don't think it would be this easy. Like I make this co parenting relationship really easy.

我的意思是，如果我想折磨特里斯坦，我完全可以。但这对我的孩子有什么好处？我私下里折磨他就够了。很多成年人都能维持类似关系，但有不少女性——男性也是——会怀着怨恨：'你背叛了我'，然后没完没了地纠缠。我当然也能这么做，但这有什么意义？

If I wanted to torture Tristan is what I'm saying, I could. But what does that do for my kids? I torture him privately. So many adults can have the same relationship, but there's a lot of women who are spiteful or men too, but that are like, you cheated on me. So did it like and they'll drag this out where of course I could do the same thing, but what does that do?

我记得是四年前的十二月。我刚发现特里斯坦又要有个孩子了，但不是我的。当时我的代孕妈妈正怀着孕，小真大概四岁左右。就是那个十二月。

It was December, I think like four years ago. I just found out Tristan was having another baby that wasn't my baby. And my surrogate was pregnant. True was maybe four, I think. That was the December.

圣诞节快到了。我记得是因为小真一直说'我要爸爸在这里，我要爸爸'。那是她第一个如果我决定不让特里斯坦出现，他就无法陪她过的圣诞节。而且她已经懂事了。

Christmas is coming. I remember because True was like, I want my daddy here. I want my daddy. It was her first Christmas that if I decided to keep Tristan away, he wouldn't be there for her. And she's old enough that she knows things and all of that.

我当时想，好吧，让我深呼吸调整一下。最后我让特里斯坦圣诞节早上过来和小真一起拆礼物。你们觉得这对我来说容易吗？觉得我是为自己才这么做的吗？当然不是。

I was like, okay, Let me breathe this through. And I let Tristan come over Christmas morning to open presents with True. Do you think that was easy for me? Do you think I wanted to do that for myself? Absolutely not.

我是为了小真。我像个成熟的大人，把所有情绪都咽下去。内心可能气得要命，恨不得掐死他，但我没有。他飞回城里——都忘了他当时效力的球队——陪她过了圣诞早晨，就又飞走了。

I did it for True. I was a big girl. I kept all my feelings aside. I was probably boiling on the inside or wanting to wring his neck, but I didn't. He flew in town and forget what team he played for, had Christmas morning with her, and flew back out of town.

在他为我女儿而非我停留的一小时或九十分钟里，我成功控制住了情绪。因此，在最糟糕的时刻，只要能为孩子掌控情绪，你依然可以保持自控。我和特里斯坦还没进行过‘当你认真交往女友时该如何对待我的孩子’这类谈话。我觉得这是不言而喻的——除非我们需要正式讨论，否则没人能接近我的孩子们。

And I was able to control my emotions for the hour or ninety minutes that he was there for my daughter, not for me. So in the worst of times, you can still control yourself if you have control over your emotions for your children. Tristan and I haven't had the conversation like, when you are serious with a girl, this is what you do with my kids. I think it's just understood. No one's going to be around my kids until like Tristan and I need to have the talk.

我必须先见那个女孩，至少得确认他是认真的。我不希望孩子们接触随便交往的对象，就像我不会把刚约会的人带给孩子见面一样。我的孩子们从未见过...虽然我现在没约会对象，但如果有，他们也不会见到那人。我对这事简直偏执。

I would need to meet the girl, or at least I would have to know he's serious with her. I don't want my kids around just a bunch of random girls. Just the same way I wouldn't bring a guy that I'm newly dating around my kids. My kids have never met Well I'm not dating anyone but you know if I was my kids would not meet that person. I am so insane about it.

我就是无法信任别人，也不相信这种模式。特里斯坦应该明白，而楚会告诉我一切。所以大家都知道别跟我玩这套把戏。让我觉得特别有趣的是——虽然不知为何如此着迷——由于特里斯坦每年大部分时间不在家，而泰特姆快三岁了，他现在完全是个有鲜明个性、有自己喜好的小大人了。

I just don't trust people. I don't believe in that. So I think Tristan knows and True will tell me everything. So everyone knows to not play that game with me. What I think is so interesting just about, I don't know why this is so interesting to me, but like Tristan because he is gone so much of the year, and Tatum now that he's gonna be three, like he's so much more of a real person and has this amazing personality and just what he's drawn to.

他个子很高，痴迷运动之类的事情。今年特里斯坦赛季结束回家时，泰特姆见到爸爸的兴奋模样让我心都化了——毕竟自从一月份特里斯坦来洛杉矶打比赛后就没见过，整整六个月啊。

He's so tall and he's drawn to sports and all these things. When Tristan came back from season this year, how excited Tatum was to see his dad. And I was like, that's so cute because he hasn't seen him since January when Tristan came here to play one of the LA teams. So that's a big time. That's six months.

对于两岁半的孩子来说，要记住这么久远的事...虽然我知道那是他父亲，他们也会视频通话。但看到他见到爸爸时那种纯粹的喜悦，还有男孩与生俱来的天性——他超爱去看特里斯坦训练，篮球什么的，男孩这种生物真的让我觉得又傻又可爱。不得不说，在情感上平衡共同养育的关系确实很难。

And for a little kid that's two and a half to remember I don't know. I know it's his father, and he talks to him on FaceTime. I just thought it was so cute how excited he was to see his dad and how boys are just wired. Like he loves to go to Tristan's practices and the basketball is just it's so silly to me how boys are wired, but it really is. I will say that balancing being a co parenter emotionally, it is hard.

我想就算有丈夫也会面临同样的难题。这种情感平衡需要经营。对我来说，有些日子...比如某些小事上，虽然特里斯坦不算错，但他会说‘你不觉得她穿这短裤太短了吗？’

And I imagine it's hard if I had a husband. I think there is that emotional balance that you have to deal with. For me, I have my days. Like there are days that Or like little things. Like which Tristan's not wrong, but he's like, don't you think those shorts are too short on her?

我几乎要脱口而出‘没错，她是我孩子’，但毕竟是我们共同的孩子。虽然想强调主权，最后还是会说‘是有点短，但只是在家泳池边玩’——毕竟我会发照片给他。你必须让共同养育方充分行使父母权利，同时也要给予彼此宽容。

And I'm like, you want to almost be like, yeah, she's my kid, but it's our kid. But you just want to have that ownership. But I'm like, yes, they're short, but we're just hanging out at the house pool because I will send pictures to him or whatever. You still want to let your co parent or be the parent as much as they want to. And you also have to give them grace, yourself grace.

有时他们不得不深吸一口气，告诉自己没关系。他做得对。是的，短裤是短了点，但我们在家休闲。让我解释这些照片的背景。有时我内心确实会感到防御，必须提醒自己，不，这是好事。

Sometimes they have to take a breath and be like, it's okay. He's doing what's right. Yes, the shorts are short, but we're at home lounging. So let me explain the context of these photos. So sometimes I do get defensive internally and I have to remind myself, no, this is good.

这是我内心的一场情感斗争。就像我不能说，不，这是我的孩子。我也必须允许特里斯坦当父亲。母亲的愧疚感绝对真实。而我以前从未理解过。

And that is an emotional battle I have between myself. Like, I can't be like, no, this this is my kid. I have to allow for Tristan to be the dad too. Mom guilt is definitely real. And I never understood it.

直到成为母亲才能理解。你会想，天啊，放下孩子吧。去看场电影。孩子不会注意到的。我觉得我的母亲愧疚感最重。

You can't understand it until you're a mom. You're like, God, leave the kid. Go to the movies. The kid's not going to notice. I think I get the most mom guilt.

我几乎时刻都有这种感觉。我想事事亲力亲为。我想参与每项活动。但这不可能总是实现。

I sort of get it all the time. Like I want to be so hands on. I want to do everything. I want to be there for every activity. And it's not possible all the time.

像我这样工作，有两个孩子，不可能每次都参加他们的所有活动。而且他们也很擅长让你感到内疚，当他们知道能触动你的心弦时，他们知道怎么做。如果你知道自己已尽力而为，那就明白这也是种美好的感觉，因为这意味着他们爱你、需要你。我知道自己作为母亲有多尽责。所以当他们说'我想和你一起吃晚饭'时，我知道那不是真的。

Like I can't work the way I do, have two kids and be at everyone's activities all the time. And they're good at making you feel bad too when they know they could pull on your heartstrings, they know how to do that. If you know you're doing the best that you can, then just know that it's also a good feeling because that means that they love you and they want you around. I know how present I am as a mom. So I know that it's not real what they're like if they're like, oh I want you to have dinner with me.

我说我每晚都和你吃饭。比如前几天我得去我妈妈那儿，她想让我和她还有外婆共进晚餐。我99%的时间都和孩子一起吃饭。我当时想，确实。我要去莱维家。

I'm like I have dinner with you every night. Like the other night I had to go to my mom's and she wanted me to have dinner with her and my grandma. I have dinner with my kids 99% of the time. And I was like, true. I'm going to go to Levy's.

我妈妈就住在我隔壁，我会回来哄你睡觉。她却说，你从不和我吃饭。从不和我吃饭。于是我说，我现在甚至不想听你胡扯，因为我知道我经常和你吃饭。他们只是知道该说什么来让你留下。

My mom lives right next door to me, and I'll come back to put you to bed. And she's like, you never have dinner with me. You never have dinner with me. So then I was like, I'm not even gonna let you fuck with me right now because I know I have dinner with you all the time. They just know what to say to try to get you to stay.

所以有些妈妈的愧疚感是真实的。有些我会想，姑娘，拜托。然后泰特姆也跟着开始抱怨，仅仅因为她也在抱怨。这真是够呛。对我来说，我觉得那些为自己做的事，让我依然觉得自己是个母亲。

So some mom guilt is real. Some I'm like, girl, please. And then Tatum follows and starts whining just because she's whining. It's a whole thing. I mean, for me, I think the things that I do for myself, so I still feel like a mom.

比如，是的，我知道我经常谈论健身，但我喜欢保持某种状态。我喜欢我的身体达到某种标准。这些事情让我感到依然强壮有力，像是，好吧，我为自己争取了这一小时，这真的也让我感觉健康。我这么做是为了能真正地——我这么做是因为我想和孩子们玩耍，比如趴在地上，和他们一起跳蹦床。我想尽可能长久地做所有这些事，而不是因为到了40岁就力不从心。

Like, yes, I know I talk about fitness a lot, but like, I like to look a certain way. Like I like my body to be a certain way. Those things make me feel still just strong and powerful and like, okay, I had this hour for myself and that really I also just feel healthy. I do it so I can literally I do it because I want to play with my kids, like get on the ground, jump on a trampoline with them. I want to do all those things as long as I can and not be like because it is real when you're 40.

你会突然觉得，哦，我的背好痛。可能某天睡一觉，不知怎么的，就闪了腰。这就是40岁以后会发生的事。而我想做那些让我感到强壮的事。我也想给孩子们树立好榜样。

You're like, oh, my back hurts. Like you might sleep one day, and I don't know how, but you threw your back out just by sleeping. That's what happens when you're over 40. And I want to do things that make me feel strong. I also want to set good examples for my kids.

有时候我会想，好吧，我需要和闺蜜们度过一个晚上。可能很久才有一次，但有时你就是需要这样。即使我工作忙碌，我也会安排短途旅行。我曾为我的香水品牌不得不去德国和意大利待一天。如果孩子们还小，我可能会拒绝，因为离开他们让我非常焦虑。

There are times that I'm like, okay, I need to have a night with my girls. And it could be every blue moon, but sometimes you need to do that. I feel like even me working and me being busy, I take quick trips. I had to go to Germany and Italy for a day for something for my fragrance. And when they were younger, my kids, I would have said no because I have so much anxiety about leaving them.

但现在我想，你知道吗？这对我来说太令人兴奋了。推出自己的香水是我考虑已久的事，但三十多岁时我迷失了自我。40岁时我真正推动自己尝试新事物。所以现在有了这些新机会，比如我的香水，我要好好把握。

But I'm like, you know what? This is so exciting for me. Doing my own fragrance was something that I've thought about for a while, but something happened in my thirties where I lost so much of myself. And I really pushed myself when I turned 40 to do new things. And so now that I have these new opportunities and things like my fragrance, I am going to take advantage.

我从未去过德国。这他妈太酷了。我能跳上飞机去德国，而且不只是去德国，是为自己的香水而去。对我来说，所有这些都让我想大喊：是的，是的，是的！孩子们，我很快就回来。

I've never been to Germany. How fucking cool. I get to jump on a plane, go to Germany, and not just go to Germany, go to Germany for a fragrance of my own. Like for me, all those things are like, yes, yes, yes. My kids, I'm going to be right back.

但这些事我仍然需要，它们给我那种冲劲和成就感，像是：天啊，我居然在德国为自己的香水奔波。这太疯狂了，是我从未梦想过会发生的。所以面对这些机会，我不能一直拒绝。而且，这些都是工作相关，让我少些愧疚，但同时也是让我难以置信的时刻。所以当我旅行，或是参加拍摄——我们在加州拍过几次需要两天的照片——都是这样的体验。

But those things I still need where it gives me that oomph and like that sense of accomplishment of like, oh holy shit, I'm in Germany for my fragrance. Like it's just crazy and something that I never dreamed would happen. So to have those opportunities, I can't keep saying no. And yes, they're work related, so it makes me feel less guilty, but it's also pinch me moments all at the same time. So when I travel, or even if I have like a shoot, we've done a few photo shoots that are in California, but it will be a two day shoot.

我的合同规定，他们可能让我工作十五小时，第二天又是同样时长。所以我基本上就是回家睡几小时就得回去工作。那两天我都见不到孩子。确实有保姆在我忙这些事时帮忙。那些对保姆说三道四的人，其实我们多少都需要外界帮助。

And my contract is like, they could have me for like fifteen hours, and the next day the same. So literally I will go home, sleep for a few hours, and I have to go back. So I don't see my kids for those two days. I do have nannies that will help me when I'm doing stuff like this. And also people that talk shit about nannies, we all have help in some capacity.

你可以称之为日托所、学校、公婆帮忙、母亲或姐妹照看，或是临时保姆。不知为何，人们觉得'保姆'这个词比'临时看护'刺耳得多，我不理解这种偏见。

You can call it daycare. You can call it a school. You can call it in laws, your mother, sister, whoever, a babysitter. For some reason, the term babysitter people find way less offensive than a nanny. I don't know why.

我们都是幸运的，养育家庭需要整个社区的协作。我不明白为什么有人会因接受育儿帮助而感到羞耻。无论是祖父母、侄女还是姐妹帮忙，这都无可厚非。感谢上帝让我们能互相扶持。

We're all blessed, and it takes a village to raise a family. I do not understand the shame that people give to other people for having people help them with their kids. There is no shame in that. And whoever it is, a grandparent, a niece, a sister, whoever. Thank God we have these villages that can help one another.

话说回来，我是个控制狂，事无巨细都要管。总觉得我不亲自做就没人能做好。比如出差前，因为习惯给True做午餐...

With that being said, I'm a control freak. I micromanage. I just feel like if I don't do it, it doesn't get done. I'm insane. So before I go on a trip, because I'm used to making I make True's lunches.

她每天必须带两份零食等等。我清楚她的喜好，所以会提前准备好整个行程天数的午餐和零食，每份都标注周二、周三这样的日期。还会查天气预报——

She has to have two snacks every day and dah dah dah. I know how she likes things done. So for school, I pre do the lunches for the length of my trip, the snacks for the length of my trip. I label everything Tuesday, Wednesday, like whatever. I check the weather.

感觉很多人不看天气预报。我每天查天气来搭配校服：今天该穿打底裤还是骑行短裤？需要配这件毛衣吗？

I feel like people don't check the weather. So I check the weather every day to do her uniforms. Does this want a legging day? Is this a bike short day? Does this require this sweater?

Tatum的情况不同，他还没上学。我每天给他读固定喜欢的睡前故事书，虽然会特意留出这些书，但我还是喜欢用不同声调朗读。想到明年他入学后，就要同时为两个孩子准备这些，工作量真的不小。

And for Tatum, it's different because he's not in school. So I read him bedtime books every day, and I know the bedtime books he likes. And so we leave those out and it's just specific but I still like doing the voices and all that kind of stuff. But I also think about, okay, now when Tatum goes to school next year, I'm going have to do this for two kids. Like, oh, it's a lot.

如果我不做这件事，大家会知道怎么做吗？会的。我知道这一点，因为当我感染新冠十五天时，不知怎么一切也都挺过来了。尽管明知自己可以放手，但我仍觉得必须亲力亲为。不过我也清楚，到了紧要关头事情总会解决，孩子们会好好的，所有事情也都能完成。

Will everyone know how to do this if I don't do it? Yes. And I know that because when I got COVID for fifteen days, somehow everything survived. I still, knowing that I can't, I still think I need to do it. But I do know if push comes to shove it will happen and the kids survive and everything gets done.

但参加这些旅行也不意味着——好吧，再见，我走了，我就没有责任了。我为这些旅行做的准备工作量巨大，更多是为了孩子们，而不是我自己。不知道其他妈妈是否也这样，我们这样折腾自己正常吗？

But going on these trips, it's also not like, okay. Bye. I'm I'm gone, and I'm free of responsibilities. The amount of work it takes me to prepare for these trips, more for my kids, not for myself. I don't know if other moms are like, is this normal that we do this to ourselves?

我想谈谈我的感情经历或我见过的榜样。我认为特里斯坦和我能如此和谐地共同育儿，部分原因在于我从父亲、继父和母亲那里得到的示范。他们刚离婚时，我妈妈自己也承认，有过一段冷却期。所以我并不是说他们从一开始就相处得完美无缺。

I do wanna talk about my relationship or the examples I had. I think one reason one reason why Tristan and I co parent so well is what I believe is the example that was given to me from my dad, my stepdad, my mom. The very beginning when they first divorced, my mom admits this herself. There was their cooling off period. So I am not saying that my mom and my dad got along perfectly from the very beginning.

我只是不记得当时有那么糟糕。我想姐姐们记得更多紧张时刻，但我没有。我记得的是离婚多年后，我父亲和继父开始每周打一次高尔夫，他们会每周一起打球。我父亲会每周来妈妈家参加家庭晚餐，与布鲁斯、妈妈、我们所有孩子——凯特尔和凯莉一起吃饭。孩子们都叫我父亲罗伯叔叔或罗伯特叔叔。

I just don't remember it being that bad. I think my older sisters remember more tension, I don't. But what I remember is my dad and my stepdad years after their divorce, they started having golf once a week and they would play golf once a week. My dad would come over to my mom's once a week for family dinner, have dinner with all of us, with Bruce, my mom, my dad, all the kids, Kettle and Kylie. They refer to my dad as uncle Rob or uncle Robert.

这就是我们的常态。如今作为成年人，我们会说：这是我爸爸，这是我妹妹的叔叔。如果有人问：哦，那是你...怎么...？我们会说：不，那是我妈妈的前夫。

So that was just the norm. As an adult now, like for us, we're like, this is my dad. These are my little sister's uncle. And then if someone was like, oh, is that your like how? Like, oh no, that's my mom's ex husband.

仔细想想这其实很不可思议。小时候你不懂这些人际关系的复杂，也不明白这对我父亲有多奇怪或多艰难——看着母亲和别人结婚生子。成年后你会想：天啊，那一定非常不容易。但他给我们树立了多好的榜样啊。我父亲多么伟大，他把自己的感受放在一边，只为陪伴在我们身边。

Like it's crazy when you think about it. As a kid, you don't know all those dynamics and how strange that is or how hard that probably is for my dad to see my mom married to somebody else, having babies with somebody else. And now as an adult, you're like, damn, that had to be really hard. But what a great example for us all. What a great dad I had that he put his feelings aside just to be around us.

有些照片里我父亲抱着我的妹妹们，看到这些让我满心欢喜，因为我知道父亲深爱着她们。能拥有这样的认知是最美好的事。以这样的榜样为镜，我一直告诉自己：只要力所能及，我就要以同样的方式做好共同育儿。我为自己在共同育儿方面做得如此出色而自豪，也为我的三位父母所做的努力感到骄傲——他们为我和兄弟姐妹们树立了这样的典范。

There's photos of my dad holding my little sisters and seeing that it makes my heart so happy and so full because I know my dad loves my little sisters. And to know that it's the best thing ever. And for me to have that as my example, I just always knew as much as I could control it, I was going to do the best thing I could to co parent the same way. And so I'm proud of myself that I have been doing such a good job co parenting. And I'm proud of all three of my parents for doing the job that they did instead of the examples that they did for me and my siblings.

我和父亲一起做过哪些至今仍与孩子们延续的传统？你们可能在某些节目里见过，我父亲有个习惯——每晚用餐时，我们会玩'高峰与低谷'游戏，围坐餐桌轮流分享当天最棒和最糟的事。现在我也和所有孩子玩这个游戏。我就像孩子们的枢纽站，他们都爱来我家。

What traditions did I do with my dad that we still do today and with my kids? So we and we've you've seen it on some of our shows, but my dad, every night at dinner, we did the peak in the pit where you go around the table, each person says the peak in the pit of their day. And I do that with all the kids. I am like the hub for the kids. They all come to my house.

孩子们几乎每晚都在我家吃晚饭。我们围坐一圈玩'高峰与低谷'，这特别棒。分享的内容可能很滑稽，也可能引发更深层的对话。我认为这是了解孩子每日喜怒哀乐的绝佳方式。

And they pretty much have dinner at my house almost every night. And so we all go around, we do the peek in the pit and it's great. There could be something really silly. It could be something that leads to bigger conversations. And I think it's a great way to talk to your kids and hear the highs and lows of their day.

最让我欣慰的是延续了与父亲的传统。更感动的是，父亲虽已离世二十一年（我19岁时他走了，从未见过孙辈），但他的精神始终萦绕在我们家族中。孩子们都知道他的相貌、趣事和那些傻气的故事。

And I love that it keeps that tradition going that I had with my dad. I also love that my dad's presence is so strong around my family. My dad has never met any of his grandchildren. He's been gone twenty one years. He died when I was 19.

尽管他离开的时间已超过我认识他的岁月，但他的存在感在孩子们生活中如此强烈。能让他的记忆鲜活留存至今，我深感自豪。至于从母亲那里学到的？说实话，我当母亲的每个举动都在效仿她。她过去、现在、永远都是最完美的母亲。

And for him to be gone longer than I've known him for, and for his presence to be so strong in all of the kids' lives, and for them to know him, know what he looks like, know stories about him, how silly he is, all that stuff. I'm really proud that we've been able to keep his memory alive as long as we have. Things I've learned from my mom. Honestly, I feel like everything that I do as a mom, I sort of emulate from my mom. My mom was, is, and will always be the best mom.

我们拥有最美好的童年。即便是国旗日这样的小节日，她也能过得精彩绝伦。从主题餐巾到用饼干模具把水果切成各种形状，她总能把生活过成庆典。这些傻气的小事我现在全都继承发扬，记得小时候她经常为我们举办泳池派对。

We had the best childhood. If it's, I don't know, the smallest holiday like flag day, she's going to make flag day the most amazing flag day possible. And I just love how much she celebrates life from like themed little napkins to know, she'll have cookie cutter fruit, like takes the cookie cutter and makes fruit into different shapes. Silly things that I do all of that stuff and more. I remember as kids we always had pool parties that my mom was always throwing.

如今我也努力为孩子们创造这样的环境，让我的家成为人人向往的聚会中心。我母亲总能把一切做到极致夸张，但这正是她的魅力。最珍贵的是她做每件事都饱含爱意。有趣的是，即便现在我们都有了自己的孩子，节日依然全家团聚庆祝。

I try to do that for my kids and just be the house that everyone wants to be at. My mom makes everything incredible, very over the top, but that's very much my mom. I just love that everything is based in love. And it is interesting because now that we all have our own kids, we still don't do our own holidays. We still all come together celebrate the holidays.

比如圣诞节，我们会先各自小家庭拆礼物，然后全体去母亲家吃圣诞早午餐。我们永远保持团聚，同时也留出空间发展小家庭的新传统。但有什么能比拥有一个超棒的大家庭更幸福呢？不过当我谈论代孕经历时，常常会引发争议。

We'll have, for example Christmas, we'll have time for our own households to celebrate, to do like the presents. But then we'll all meet at my mom's for Christmas brunch and we celebrate together. So we're always together, but we will have times to make our own traditions within our family. But what's better than having one big ass family that's the best? So something that gets me a lot of heat sometimes is when I talk about my pregnancy surrogacy journey.

我也希望听到更多人讨论代孕。虽然我对代孕了解不少，但对其技术细节知之甚少，尤其对宝宝出生后的情感层面更是陌生。我只能基于自身经历来分享，因为这是我唯一能参照的。我有几位做过代孕的朋友，她们也深有同感。

I also wish that I heard more people talk about surrogacy. I feel like I knew a lot about surrogacy, but never more like the technicalities of it. I don't feel like I knew a lot about the emotional aspect once the baby was born. And I'm only here to talk about my journey because that's all I can reference from. I do have a few different friends that did surrogacy, and they feel the exact same way.

因此我不再感到孤单——有段时间我总在想，我在利用自己的平台发声。当然我不会传播错误信息，因为这些都是我的亲身经历。我只想让人们感受到被看见，知道他们并不孤独。我也希望其他人有完全不同的体验。True是我的第一个孩子。

So I feel less alone in that because for a while I was like, I'm using my platform. And of course, I'm not giving any misinformation because this is my information's coming from me. But I just want to make sure that I'm letting people feel seen and that they're not alone. And I do hope that other people feel the complete other way. With True, she was my first baby.

医生曾断言我无法怀孕，但我不仅怀上了，还度过了完美的孕期，我无比享受这个过程。当你在孕育生命时，能真切感受到这段与自己同行的旅程。

I was always told I couldn't get pregnant. I get pregnant. I had such a great pregnancy. I loved it. And when you are growing yourself and growing a human, you really feel this journey with you.

你会觉得参与了每个成长阶段，这是种截然不同的感受。虽然不确定True是否会卷入其中，但当她降临人世时，我们确实形成了创伤联结——就在她出生前几天，我发现了Tristan的出轨事件。是的，我觉得是创伤让我们紧密相连，是她拯救了我。

And you feel like you're on every step of the way and it's just a different feeling. And then I also think True and I, I don't know if True would be involved in this, but I definitely trauma bonded with True when she came into the world because just a few days before I found out this affair Tristan was having. Yeah. I just feel like I trauma bonded with her. She saved me.

她把我从深渊中拉了出来。这段经历错综复杂，我的两次怀孕都充满曲折，但尤其是我与True之间的羁绊更是千丝万缕。后来我的代孕妈妈成功受孕了。

She got me out of this really dark place. It was a very There were so many layers. There's so many layers to both of my pregnancies, but there so many layers to mine and True's connection there. Then I have my surrogate. My surrogate gets pregnant.

我完成了胚胎移植。同年十二月，却得知Tristan和别人又有了孩子。当时我们甚至不确定胚胎是否着床——通常两周后才能知道。结果下周就确认成功了，我完全不知该如何消化这一切。

I did my embryo transfer. The December, I find out Tristan is having another baby with somebody else. And we didn't even know if the embryo took. Well, you find out in two weeks. And then of course the following week I find out the embryo took, and I did not know how to process any of this.

我承认自己当时选择了逃避，同时也想保护代孕妈妈。这成了轰动媒体的新闻，我不愿做任何可能危及她及其孩子隐私的事——她已有子女，也有丈夫。更重要的是要保护她正在孕育的我的宝宝。

And I definitely admit that I buried my head in the sand, and I also wanted to protect my surrogate. This was a huge media story, and I didn't want to do anything to jeopardize my surrogate's privacy for her and her children. She has children. She is a husband. And also to protect my baby that she's growing and nourishing.

我不想让她承受这些，所以我陪伴她的时间减少了。比如我没法陪她去产检，因为无论我去哪儿都有人跟踪。很多事情我只能远程处理，所以我和True之间缺少了那种孕期应有的亲密连接。

And I didn't want to add any of this onto her. So I wasn't with her as much. Like I wasn't going to the doctor's appointments because I was being followed everywhere. There was a lot I had to do a lot of things remotely. So it wasn't this connection that I had with True.

后来当我第一次抱到Tatum时，那种感觉依然无法与True相比。因为在《卡戴珊家族》里我太坦诚了，为此承受了很多压力。但我只是说出真相。现在Tatum三岁了，他确实是我生命中最美好的存在，无法想象没有他的生活。

And then I remember when I got Tatum for the first time and I hugged him, he still wasn't the same feeling that I had to compare with True. Because I was being so honest on Kardashians, I got a lot of heat for this. But all I'm doing is saying my truth. Tatum is now three years old. He is truly the best thing that's ever happened to me and I cannot imagine my life without him.

他每天都会让我想起父亲和哥哥。他特别风趣，那种幽默感只有我父亲和哥哥才有。这么小的孩子，我不知道他怎么会有那些笑话、讽刺和面部表情，这么小的孩子很少有这种表现。

He reminds me of my dad and my brother every single day. He is so funny. And in a way that only my dad and my brother have this humor. And to be such a little human, don't know how he has the jokes he has or the sarcasm or facial expressions at such a young age. Like it's just not, to me I don't know kids that act like that so young.

所以我坚信他身上有父亲的影子。因为Tatum，我的家变得完整，这种感觉难以言喻。是的，我坦诚代孕经历，坦诚直到Tatum出生后九到十个月才建立起情感连接。理性分析的话，我怀True时也不是一怀孕就有感觉的。我从不是那种会对着肚子说话的妈妈，直到见到她之前我都没给她取名。

So I have to believe that there's pieces of my dad in him. And how my home is so complete because of Tatum, it's like something I could never explain. So yes, me being honest about my surrogacy journey, me being honest about, I didn't feel connected to Tatum until probably nine to ten months after he was alive. When I rationalize everything, I wasn't connected to True the second I found out I was pregnant. I was never a mom that was like I didn't name her until I met her, but if I I wasn't like, ugh, the baby this, the baby that.

我非常务实：饿了就吃，困了就睡。我每天都工作，每天都健身。

I was very matter of fact. Like, no, I'm hungry. I got to sleep. I worked every day. I worked out every day.

怀孕对我不是障碍。真的不是。我照常生活，非常理性。所以确实，True在我肚子里时我没什么特别感觉。

Me being pregnant was not a disability. It wasn't. I just moved on. I was very matter of fact about it. So true, I didn't feel anything when she was in my tummy.

我不是那种类型。感觉Courtney会特别投入，但我不一样。当时我对怀孕很淡然。直到见到她的那一刻，我才瞬间爱上了她。

Like I wasn't one of those. I feel like Courtney gets very attached. I don't know. I was much more just blank about it. And then when I met her, I fell in love with her instantly.

我觉得和Tatum相处，就像经历了整个孕期那么长的时间。到了第九、十个月左右，我才感觉我们真正合拍了。我想坦诚分享这点，因为人们应该听到代孕的方方面面。我认为这对无法怀孕的女性来说是难得的机遇，我们能有这个选择让我深感幸运。

And I feel like with Tatum, it took the length of someone that would be pregnant. And then when I was around the nine or ten month mark, I was like, okay, we're vibing. I wanted to be really honest about that because I also think that people should hear all sides of surrogacy. I think it's an incredible opportunity that we have for women who can't get pregnant for any reason. And I feel so blessed that we do have that option.

我只是想说出真相。有些人对此非常感激，但直到多年后的今天，仍有人因为我当时的坦诚而指责我。我觉得这很荒谬。不过Tatum是最棒的。

I just wanted to tell my truth. And there are some people that were so grateful for that. And then there's also a lot of people that tell this day, years later, they hold it over my head that I was honest. And, I find that crazy. But Tatum is the best.

True是最棒的姐姐，Tatum对她着迷极了。我深爱我的小家庭，看着他们在一起的画面让我无比幸福。我知道Tatum让这个家完整了。

True is the best sister. Tatum is obsessed with her. And I love my little family. I love seeing them together. And I just know Tatum completed my household.

非常感谢大家陪我听完这些分享。希望我的经历能帮助到你们，或让某些父母在育儿路上感到被理解。育儿这件事既令人恐惧，又充满混乱，同时也乐趣无穷。

Thank you guys so much for listening and watching with me. Hopefully I could help or let some of you guys feel seen on this parenting journey. I mean, parenting is scary. It's messy. It's fun.

它奇妙非凡，包罗万象。但我们都需要一个支持系统。但愿我能给你们提供些许支持和理解。如果还有问题——我还有很多没讲到的内容——或许我们会做第二期，请继续留言提问吧。

It's amazing. It's all those things, but we all need a support system. And hopefully, I was able provide a little support and understanding for you guys. And if you guys have any more questions, I still have tons I didn't get to. Maybe we'll do a part two, but keep sending them on in.

那么，下次再见啦各位。

And, yes, I'll see you guys next time.