据称发生的瓦萨事件：单身汉版

不。

No.

总之，我当时在试图打探格莱美奖的消息时，就问了她。

Anyway, so I was like, I was asking her when I was trying to scope the Grammys.

我问她：‘你为了格莱美奖在约谁吗？就像我那样打探情报？’

I was like, you doing anyone for the Grammys trying to get intel like I do?

她回答说：‘不，我其实回宾夕法尼亚州了，或者类似的地方。’

And she was like, no, I'm actually back in Pennsylvania or whatever.

前几天，她发了一个视频，基本上是放弃了事业，回去照顾患阿尔茨海默病的父亲。

And she, the other day, posted this video like she basically gave up her career to go care for her dad who has Alzheimer's.

哦。

Oh.

她现在和他住在一起。

And she's living with him.

她还说，她其实编舞做得很多，经常和安妮·海瑟薇合作，所以她参与了《穿普拉达的恶魔》。

And she's like, she she actually choreographed she does a lot with Anne Hathaway, so she's like, did Devil Wears Prada.

所以她还在接活，但她确实说，我彻底颠覆了我的生活。

So she's still gigging, but she's like, yeah, I, like, upended my life.

我在照顾他。

I'm taking care of him.

这简直就是我的全职工作，我当时就想，天啊。

Like, that's my full time job And I was just like, damn.

我觉得，这种情况实际发生的频率比人们谈论的要高得多。

Like, so there is, like, I think it is happening a lot more than people are talking about.

而且这就像——

And it's like

当然。

Of course.

你不会在Instagram上发这种事。

You don't really post it on Instagram.

这可不是你的精彩瞬间合集。

It's not your, like, highlight reel.

你知道的吧？

You know?

没错。

Right.

这也是出于对你所爱之人的尊重。

It's also, like, out of respect for the people that you love.

你不会像那样，把所有奇怪的事情都写进一本书里，而精心策划才是最完美的方式。

You're not, like, giving all this, like, weird the way that you did it in one book, like, and very thoughtfully curated is the perfect way to do it.

这样真的很不错。

Like, it's it's very nice.

谢谢。

Thank you.

好的。

Okay.

好的。

Okay.

我糟糕的一周很简单。

My bad week is simple.

周一早上，我正去朋友家。

I was going through to my friend's house on a Monday morning.

我的头发扎了起来，就像这样。

My hair was pulled back like so.

我看到了同一个保安。

I see the same security.

我每周一都在她家锻炼，她小区门口有个保安，我总是要登记之类的。

I work out at her house every Monday, and there's a security guard at the front of her neighborhood, and I always check-in and blah blah blah.

而且那天阳光特别好。

And it's like very sunny.

我当时就想，哦，是贝卡。

And I was like, oh, it's Becca.

他跟我说：嘿。

He's like, hey.

很高兴见到你。

Good to see you.

我当时说，谢谢。

I was like, thanks.

他说，进去吧。

He's like, go on in.

我当时说，谢谢。

And I was like, thanks.

他说，我真的很喜欢你的发型。

He goes, oh, I really like your hair.

我当时摸了摸头。

And I was like I touched my head.

我心想，什么？

I'm like, what?

我没化妆。

Like, no makeup.

我当时说，哦，他说道，是的。

I was like, oh, he's like, yeah.

它像银色一样。

It's like silver.

哦，不。

Oh, no.

不。

No.

不。

No.

真遗憾，伙计。

Bummer, dude.

我当时说，是的。

And I was like, yes.

这是故意的。

It was intentional.

我不是没剪过头发

Not that I haven't had my hair

好几个星期没打理了，我快崩溃了。

done in weeks, and I am devastated.

你知道的吧？

You know?

因为别人看得见。

Because people see it.

你们知道，我们不可能都像你说的那样，根本看不出来。

You know like we can't all just be like you can't tell.

根本看不出来。

You can't tell.

我觉得你看起来确实看不出来，但也许在阳光下就能看出来了。

I feel like you can't tell on you but maybe in the sunlight.

我觉得你确实看不出来，因为你头发一直很浅。

I think you can't well because you keep your hair so light.

你大部分时候染得挺自然的。

You blend it pretty well for the most part.

但当头发长得很长时，太阳穴那里就全是纯白的，亮闪闪的白色。

But when it's really grown out it's just like all white at the temple like really shiny white.

我见过一些女孩在让头发自然生长。

I have seen some girls that are growing their hair.

她们让灰发自然长出来。

Like they're growing the grays.

我做不到像她们那样。

I couldn't be me.

我太虚荣了，这会严重打击我的自尊心，但有些女孩留灰发看起来真的很好看。

I am like way too vain and like it would hurt my self esteem so much, but it looks so good on some of these girls that are doing it.

我做不到。

I can't.

我永远也做不到。

I could never.

我做不到。

I can't.

我就想说，不行。

I'm like, no.

对不起。

I'm sorry.

我的眉毛开始变灰了。

My eyebrows are starting to turn gray.

得把那些灰白的眉毛拔掉。

Have to pluck like that grays out.

我就想说，什么？

I'm like, what?

我目前还没有呢。

I still don't really have any.

不，你还没到那一步。

No, you're not there yet.

但我已经老了。

But I'm old.

我年纪足够大了，应该有这些了。

I'm way old enough to have them.

我觉得这其实也和遗传有关。

It's really, I think it's really genetic too.

比如如果你妈妈也没怎么变灰的话。

Like if if your mom didn't go that great though.

这太奇怪了。

It's so weird.

是的。

Yeah.

不是年轻，但至少以我这个年纪来说。

Like not young, but it definitely at least at my age.

有意思。

Interesting.

好了，继续说吧，因为总有一天你会醒来，发现头上长出了银丝。

Well, on to it because you'll wake up one day and you'll have silver thing.

你就像说，

You're like,

而且我不喜欢浅色头发。

and then I don't like light hair.

就是，别让我留浅色头发。

Like, don't like me in light hair.

是的。

Yeah.

而且你得开始做我正在做的事，就是把染发直接做到发根，来遮盖那些白发，不管怎样都要遮得严实点。

And you have, you have to start doing what I'm doing, which is like highlighting right to the root to hide the, like, like it with a lot of anyway.

好吧。

Okay.

真让人沮丧。

It's a bummer.

杰克。

Jack.

好吧，我这周特别棒，因为我正式把家里的起居室改成了我的艺术工作室。

Okay, so my good week is that I have officially converted my den in my house into my art studio.

哦，是啊。

Oh, yeah.

太好了。

So good.

真的很有趣。

So it's so fun.

我们家是三层楼的房子，因为我们住在山坡上。

Our house is a tri level house because we're on a hill.

所以我家的布局有点奇怪。

So it's like very, the layout of our house is weird.

面积看起来挺大，其实没多少。

It's a lot of square feet, not a lot.

它大约有2100平方英尺，但由于是三层结构，房间的布局特别奇怪。

It's like 2,100 square feet, but it's just so weird how everything is laid out because of the tri level.

我们有个书房，一半在楼下，我就想，这地方要改成我的谈话室。

So we have this den that's like half downstairs and I'm like, it's going to be my conversation room.

就是我做播客的地方。

Like, it'll be where I podcast from.

我给它买了两把椅子和一张沙发。

I got like two chairs and a couch for it.

我就想着，这地方要变成这样。

I'm like, it's going to be this thing.

自从我们买下这房子，我们从来没踏进过那里一步。

And we have never stepped foot in there since we bought the house.

但我一直惦记着把它改造成什么的样子。

But I was like hanging on to that idea of turning it into like, whatever.

所以最后，贾里德直接说：杰克，你所有的绘画都在厨房里做。

So finally, Jared was just like, Jack, you're doing all of your art in the kitchen.

你的东西真的到处都是。

Your shit is literally everywhere.

是的。

Yeah.

比如我们的厨房和客厅是连在一起的。

Like I our kitchen was a desire our kitchens like part of our living room.

我们是开放式布局。

We have an open plan layout.

所以那简直一团糟。

So it was a such a disaster.

所以我已经正式搬到下面去了。

So I've officially moved down there.

他亲手给我做了一个超大的艺术工作台，只花了两个小时。

He made me an art huge art workstation by hand in like two hours.

他真是太棒了。

He's so great.

所以他帮我把整个工作台组装了起来。

And so he helped me put the whole thing together.

现在我有了属于自己的创作空间，这让我非常开心。

So now I have my own space to create and it makes me very happy.

太棒了。

That's awesome.

是的。

Yeah.

怎么和

How And

你知道吗，我的强迫症有点奇怪，某些地方我会觉得不舒服。

you know, well, you know, my OCD is like weird, like in certain places I don't feel right.

我以前在下面从来都没觉得舒服。

And I never felt right down there.

那让我觉得很不安。

Like it freaked me out.

那种感觉会让我的身体觉得怪怪的。

Like it would make my body feel weird.

但现在我把它改造之后，待在里面反而感觉很好。

But now that I have converted it, like I actually feel good in there.

这才是它本来该有的样子。

So it's what it should have been.

太棒了。

Love it.

我所谓的糟糕的一周，其实也没那么糟。

My bad week is like not really a bad week.

只是有点混乱的一周而已。

It's a little bit of a confused week.

前几天，我和贾里德去约会了，我们去了一个地方，那里有一片开放区域，聚集了多家餐厅，有时候人们会带家人来，或者来约会什么的。

So Jared and I did a date night the other night, we went to this place that has like a bunch of different restaurants in an open little area that sometimes people bring their families or other date nights, whatever.

我们在等餐厅的时候，看到一群女孩走过。

And we're waiting for the restaurant and we see this group of girls walk by.

其中一个女孩穿着全套的手术服。

One of the girls was in scrubs, a full scrubs outfit.

她是一名下班后的医生。

She was a doctor post work.

但她才12岁。

But she was 12.

她肯定不超过12岁，就是初中年纪。

She couldn't have been older than 12, like middle school age.

然后我就想，这是现在孩子们在流行的做法吗？

And then I was like, is this a thing that the kids are doing?

就像，穿手术服是种新的时尚宣言吗？

Like, is this a new fashion statement of just wearing Instead

不是穿公主裙，而是直接当职业女性？

of the princess dress, you're like a career woman?

我以为是你们，这太奇怪了，我一开始还以为是位医生。

I don't it was you guys, it was so weird because I was like, oh, a doctor.

我当时就想，那个女孩不可能是医生。

And I was like, that that girl cannot be a doctor.

也许她得了某种本杰明·巴顿病。

Maybe she has some sort of Benjamin Button disease.

不，因为她和其他女孩在一起。

Or no, because she was with other girls.

其他女孩，她

Other girls, she

没你想象的那么老？

was older than you think?

不是。

No.

我说的是其他女孩。

Said other girls.

她和一群青春期前的女孩在一起，但我心想，也许她就是那种孩子。

Was with other preteen girls, but I'm like, maybe she's one of those kids.

这就像十岁就从哈佛毕业了。

That's like graduates from Harvard when they're like 10.

她是多吉·豪瑟，多吉·豪瑟。

She's Doogie Howser, Doogie Howser.

是的。

Yeah.

或者像

Or like

那只乖狗。

the good dog.

但我心想，那些有青春期前女儿的妈妈们，

But I'm like, I wanted to ask the moms out there that have like preteen girls,

这是否是一种普遍现象

if this is a thing

就像全套的手术服，配套的手术服套装。

like our full scrubs, like matching scrub outfit.

我当时想，我以前经常

I was like, I used to

在高中穿手术服，医院的裤子是层叠穿的。

wear scrubs in high school, like the hospital pants were layered.

是的。

Yeah.

我有很多手术服裤子，但没有手术服上衣，没有

I had a bunch of scrub pants, but not the scrub top, not

完整的制服。

the full uniform.

但这肯定就是那种风格。

But this has gotta be what it is.

你就是那样，这完全就是，因为我们穿的是手术服裤子。

You just that's your that's totally what it is because we wore the scrub pants.

是的。

Yeah.

这就像新时代，但他们说，我们要全力以赴。

It's like the new age, but they're like, we're going all in.

我们是在扮演医生。

We're cosplaying as a doctor.

我以前特别羡慕那些每天都能穿手术服的人。

I used to be so envious of anybody who got to wear wear scrubs daily.

比如我在纽约坐地铁时，总会环顾四周，心想，知道每天上班都有统一的制服，像小时候上学一样，该有多轻松啊。

Like, when I'd be in New York and I'd be on the subway, would just look around and be thinking, how much easier is your morning knowing it's like having a uniform when you go to school as a kid.

这真的能省去很多烦恼。

It just really cuts out the noise.

但反过来，他们的日子岂不是难多了？

But then, like, how much harder is their day?

你知道的吧？

You know?

难上百万倍。

Oh, a million times harder.

像是八百万。

Like, 8,000,000.

但这样就平衡了。

But it evens out.

除非他们在打肉毒杆菌。

Unless they're giving Botox.

所以你知道吧？

So you know?

这倒是真的。

That's true.

而且一个

And a

现在很多打肉毒杆菌的人穿手术服。

lot of people who give Botox now wear scrubs.

这实际上是个漏洞。

That's actually the loophole.

确实是。

That is.

那就是漏洞。

That is the loophole.

成为注射者？

To be an injector?

我知道。

I know.

嗯，他们给你注射，贝卡，因为每次你打针，都会变成一件事。

Well, they're injecting you, Becca, because every time you get an injection, it, turns into a thing.

一团糟。

Hot mess.

乱糟糟的。

Hot.

但我不会停止。

But I won't stop.

不。

Nope.

当然。

Sure.

别停下。

Don't stop.

不会停的。

Won't stop.

好的。

Okay.

所以我的糟糕一周是被互联网骗了，这完全是我的错。

So my bad week is I got hoodwinked by the Internet, and it's my own fault.

你知道的，我总是想找捷径。

It's I you know, I'm always looking for the easy way out.

所以我感觉自己在努力，但就是没法让我的Instagram涨粉，我真的很拼命了。

And so I felt like I'm on this role, but like I can't get my Instagram to to grow and I'm trying so hard.

我的意思是，我其实只需要停止尝试，这才是解决办法。

I mean, I need to just stop trying, which is the answer.

我知道这就是答案，但为什么我要这么做呢？

I know that's the answer, but why would I do that?

所以我被忽悠了。

So I got hoodwinked.

我Instagram上弹出一则广告，说有个叫Pliksy的网站。

There was some ad came up on my Instagram that was like, hey, there's this site called Pliksy.

它的主要功能是帮你提升社交媒体账号，虽然不是直接买粉丝，但能帮你找到合适的标签——这就是他们向我推销的方式。

And basically what it does is it like takes your social media accounts and boosts them and it's like you're not buying followers but it like helps you figure out the hashtags and like this is how it was sold to me.

我当时就觉得，这看起来像是个骗局。

And I was like, this seems like a scam.

于是我去了那个网站查看，plixie.com。

So then I go on the site to check it out, plixie.com.

千万别在那个网站上点任何东西。

Do not press anything on the site.

我警告你。

I'm warning you.

我看到一段Todrick Hall的视频，我和他一起跳过火箭女郎，他是个大网红，视频里他说：‘当我用了Pliksy之后，我的整个YouTube事业都变了’，我当时就想：‘天啊，这玩意儿居然是真的。’

And I see a video of Todrick Hall who I did Rockettes with who's like a big influencer and hit it's a video of him popping up and being like my whole YouTube game changed when I got Plexi and I was like, shit, this is like a real thing.

我们有个叫Lady Gang的YouTube频道。

We have our YouTube for Lady Gang.

我想，也许这就是人们在用的工具。

Was like, maybe this could like, maybe this is what people are using.

所以我注册了Pliksy。

So I've signed up for Plexi.

我注册了Pliksy，还绑定了信用卡，但被拒绝了。

I signed up for Plexi and I put my credit card in and it denies it.

我当时想：‘哦，大概是因为这是那种科技公司。’

And I was like, oh, it's because it's like one of these tech companies.

于是我换了张卡。

Oh, So I change it.

我等了一天。

I wait a day.

我重新登录了。

I go back in.

还是不行。

Still nothing.

我打了花旗银行的电话。

I call Capital One.

我对花旗银行说。

I say Capital One.

我想在Plexi上购买这个服务。

I want to buy this from Plexi.

我想注册。

I want to sign up.

请让这笔付款成功吧。

Please make this go through.

他们说，哦，真奇怪。

And they were like, oh, weird.

我不明白你为什么会遇到欺诈提示。

I don't know why you're getting fraud.

是的。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

不。

No.

你的账户是正常的。

Your account's clear.

再试一次。

Try again.

我再试一次。

I try again.

还是不行。

Still nothing.

两天后，再试一次。

Two days later, try again.

还是不行。

Nothing.

我就是没法用Plexi付钱，哪怕救命都不行。

I cannot pay Plexi to save my life.

于是我再次给Capital One打电话，问他们：这到底是怎么回事？

So then I call Capital One again and I was like, what is going on?

他们说：哦，非常抱歉。

And they're like, oh, I'm so sorry.

这个网站在我们的黑名单上。

This website is on our no.

我们永远不接受来自这个网站的任何付款，因为出现过太多欺诈交易。

We do not accept any charges from this site forever because we've had too many frauds.

我们遇到的欺诈太多了。

We've had too many frauds.

这根本行不通。

This is like a no go.

不管你是谁，你的信用额度是多少。

It doesn't matter who you are, what your credit limit is.

我们永远不会向Plexi收费。

We will never charge Plexi.

哇。

Wow.

我当时说，哦，太感谢你告诉我这是欺诈行为了。

And I was like, oh, well, thank you so much for letting me know this was fraud.

托德里克·霍尔，你自己去吧。

Todrick Hall, go yourself.

天哪。

Oh my god.

他可能

He probably

用了AI来伪造我，就像我在网上卖一些奇怪的脱毛产品，但根本不是我做的。

got used AI to make him just like I'm selling weird waxing things on the internet without my Exactly.

所以他们说，很遗憾，我们不得不关闭你的卡片。

So then they're like, unfortunately, we're gonna we're gonna have to like shut down your card.

然后他们开始核查这些消费记录。

And then they start going through the charges.

他们入侵了我的苹果账户。

They got into my Apple account.

不。

No.

800美元？

$800?

Plexi。

Plexi.

这些人，一旦我输入了卡片信息，他们就掌握了，钱被花到了各处。

These people, once I entered my card, they have it and it went everywhere.

网上购物、苹果账户，花了800美元。

Online shopping, Apple, $800.

简直太离谱了。

Like, was wild.

我总共被扣了将近6000美元，不得不去写欺诈申诉信，还搞了一大堆麻烦事。

It was almost $6,000 worth of charges that I had to, like, go and do a fraud letter and all this shit.

不管怎样，我就想说，你知道吗？

Anyway, I just you know what?

但还是谢谢你。

But thank you.

我现在用的是美国资本一银行。

I'm in a Capital One.

是的。

Yeah.

说实话，Capital One Venture X，非常感谢你们的关心和帮助。

Honestly, Capital One Venture X, thank you so much for your care and concern.

谢谢你们的保障。

Thank you for your protection.

同时，我这周真是倒霉透了。

And then at the same time, so I have a double bad week this week.

然后他们还问我说，你知道彩虹保险吗？

Then at the same time, they're like, do you know rainbow insurance?

我当时就说，彩虹保险？

And I was like, rainbow insurance?

我知道我有Farmers保险，还有Progressive保险。

I know I have farmers and like I have progressive farmers.

好吧。

Okay.

我不清楚。

I don't know.

不。

No.

别想什么彩虹。

Don't think rainbow.

所以我打了我的电话。

So I call my right.

我的保险专员。

My insurance guy.

我对他说，嘿。

And I was like, hey.

我有彩虹保险吗？

Do I have rainbow insurance?

他说，哦，没有。

He goes, oh, no.

我当时说，什么？

And I was like, what?

这六个月来，他们一直向我收取每笔1500美元的费用。

These mother six months, $1,500 a pop have been charging me.

他们说：‘哦，我们已经申请了报价。’

They were like, oh, we put in for a quote.

他们本来就不该向你收费。

They were never supposed to charge you.

为了我

For I

我一直以为这是我的保险正常扣款。

thought this whole time it was my insurance like properly.

哦。

Oh.

因为上面只写了‘保险’。

Because it just said insurance.

其实并不是。

It wasn't.

我把那6000美元要回来了。

I got that $6,000 back.

伙计们，我们得看看我们的信用卡账单了。

Guys, we have got to be looking at our credit card statements.

天哪。

Jesus.

哇。

Wow.

天哪。

Jesus.

我是个邋遢鬼，但我一直以为，当我去找保险代理人时，只要我说‘是’，他就会给我买对的保险，那就是收费的依据。

I'm a messy bitch, but I just like assume that when I go through an insurance guy that he's gonna buy the right insurance when I say yes, buy the right insurance like that's the charge.

然后我就想，不管怎样，我真是个灾难。

And I was like, this is anyway, I'm a disaster.

我们回来后，聊聊那些也是灾难的《单身汉》参赛者吧。

When we come back, we're gonna talk about the Bachelor contestants who are also a disaster.

现在是时候由我们的朋友马莎百货带来一个时尚时刻了，我简直太兴奋了，因为春天来了，我之前的所有穿搭都被冬衣和毛线帽给毁了。

It is time for a fashion moment brought to you by our friends at Macy's, and I'm just so freaking excited that it's spring, because all my outfits were getting ruined by putting on a winter coat and a toque.

你懂我的意思吧？

You know what I mean?

即使在洛杉矶，也冷得要命。

Even in LA, it's been freezing.

毛线帽。

A toque.

毛线帽。

A toque.

我超级期待春天的到来。

I'm so excited for the spring.

我觉得那时候我才真正绽放光彩。

I feel like that's when I really shine.

冬天很难穿得时尚。

It's very hard to be fashionable in the winter.

我不明白为什么一切都这么暗淡。

I don't know why everything is so dark.

没有任何色彩。

There's no colors.

所以这才是真正让人兴奋的时候。

So this is really it's when things get exciting.

购物挑选春装时，我真正发掘出了自己女性化的一面。

You know, I've really tapped into my feminine side while shopping for spring.

我觉得我的春日造型是吊带裙配牛仔靴。

I am really like, I think my look for spring is a slip dress and a cowboy boot.

很可爱。

Cute.

你真是个奥斯汀。

So Austin of you.

对吧？

Right?

然后我觉得它可以搭配任何场合。

And then I feel like it's you can take it anywhere.

你白天可以去购物。

You can shop during the day.

我刚买了这双Steve Madden的牛仔靴，我觉得牛仔靴是过渡从

I just got these Steve Madden cowboy boots, and I feel like a cowboy boot is the perfect transition from

是的。

Yes.

寒冷天气到温暖天气的完美选择。

Cold weather to warm weather.

对吧？

Right?

是的。

Yes.

是的。

Yes.

我觉得牛仔靴曾是一种失传的艺术，因为它真的能把一切搭配得完美无缺。

I I feel like a cowboy boot was a lost art because it really pulls together, like, Everything.

太可爱了。

It's so cute.

我得说，我参加过纽约时装周。

I have to say, I was at New York Fashion Week.

我没被邀请去参加蔻驰的秀，但我得告诉你，蔻驰现在就是那个最火的品牌。

I didn't get invited to the Coach show, but let me tell you, Coach is that girl right now.

她就是那个我根本进不去秀场的女孩，因为那里全是名人。

She's that girl that I couldn't get invited to the show because it was actual famous people there.

但梅西百货有那么多蔻驰产品，我简直不敢相信蔻驰这个品牌又回来了，因为我清楚记得，当我身无分文、还是个非法移民时，刚搬到纽约，靠现金教舞蹈谋生，我从本该给前夫交房租的现金里偷偷拿出100美元，去梅西百货买了一双小小的蔻驰塔比靴子，心里想着：我该怎么瞒着他？

But Macy's has so much coach and like, I can't believe coach is back as a brand because I remember specifically when I was had no money and I was an illegal alien in this country and I was teaching dance for cash after I moved to New York and I took a $100 out of the cash I was supposed to give my ex husband for like our rent, and I went to Macy's, and I secretly bought a pair of coach little tabby boots that I'm like, how am I hiding this from him?

我要穿它。

I'm gonna wear it.

但我们那时候根本没钱买蔻驰。

But like, we didn't have money to buy coach.

你懂我的意思吧？

You know what I mean?

我记得我穿那双黑靴子好多年了。

I remember I wore those black boots for years.

它们太棒了。

They're so incredible.

我只是喜欢coach重新回来了。

I just love that coaches back me

要知道他们的包有多出色。

to know when their bags are amazing.

它们太棒了。

They're amazing.

而且它们都很有设计师风格，但不知为何更可爱一些。

And they're all very designer inspired, but even cuter for some reason.

我在想，这个包是不是真的按我喜欢的方式做的，用了这么多牛仔布。

I'm like, actually did this bag the way that I would have liked the bag to be done like so much denim.

有这么多贴花装饰。

So many like applique.

还有草编包。

There's like raffia bags.

简直想要什么有什么。

It's like anything that you could want.

我知道。

I know.

我还有个小贴士。

I also have a hot tip.

我多年来一直穿同一款李维斯剪裁的裤子。

I have been wearing the same Levi silhouette for years.

一样。

Same.

是肋骨款。

It's the rib cage.

这是高腰的。

It's a high waisted.

它能让你的臀部呈现出最漂亮的提升和线条，而且有非常多颜色可选，短款的，等等。

It gives your booty the nicest, like, lift and shape, and they have a lot of so many colors cropped long, blah blah blah.

这是李维斯的Rib Cage款。

It's the Levi's rib cage.

你以后会感谢我的。

You will thank me later.

我的李维斯是低腰宽松款，我刚发现梅西百货也有好多这种款。

And my Levi's is the low and loose, and I just saw that they have a bunch of those on Macy's too.

这是完美的低腰牛仔裤，有点宽松，但又不是那种超宽松的裤子。

It is the perfect low waist jean that's like kind of baggy, but not like a baggy pant.

就是低腰的。

It's just low.

穿起来完全感觉不到像在穿牛仔裤。

It doesn't feel like you're wearing jeans.

这简直是我最爱的东西了。

It's like my favorite thing ever.

我要下单买它们。

I'm gonna order them.

我们确实喜欢梅西百货，但我有个关于梅西百货的反馈。

Well, we love Macy's, but I have a note for Macy's.

我知道他们正在听这个播客。

So I know they're listening to this podcast.

所以我想说点事情。

So I do I do want to say something.

如果我能在时装周期间让梅西百货的采购负责人接电话，科奇送了那些超小的册子。

If I could just get a Macy's buyer on the line at fashion week, coach sent the influence tiny little books.

那些是小小的科奇手册，而且伊莉·范宁曾在地铁上读过一本。

They're like little coach books and like Elle Fanning was reading one on the subway.

它不是一本小书，而是一个能夹在包上的迷你小册子。

And instead of a liboo boo, it's like a little baby book that clips to your purse.

就是你们啊。

It's you guys.

太可爱了。

It's so cute.

我就像是梅西百货的采购员。

I'm like Macy's buyer.

我现在就需要这些。

I need those now.

我需要在下一次做这个播客、提到梅西百货的时候，能带上一本《呼啸山庄》的小型婴儿书，夹在我的包上。

I need by the next time I have this podcast and I'm talking about Macy's, I wanna be able to go by Wuthering Heights as like a little baby book that I clip on my bag.

这比那个liboo boo好太多了。

It's so much better than a liboo boo.

总之，梅西百货，我们爱你们。

Anyway, Macy's, we love you.

你们可以访问macy's.com，或者去实体店看看春季最棒的商品。

You can check out macy's.com or go in store and check out all of the best of spring.

你有没有过走进健身房，却立刻转身离开，因为不知道该从哪里开始？

Have you ever walked into the gym and immediately turned around and walked right out because you didn't know where to start?

啊啊。

Ugh.

我以前就是这样。

This used to be me.

我们来聊聊Tonal，这个能追踪你健身进展的终极力量训练系统。

Let's talk about Tonal, the ultimate strength training system that tracks your progress.

它帮你消除健身时的猜测，让你更有信心持续进步。

They take the guesswork out of working out so you can have the confidence to keep pushing forward.

我最喜欢的是，它当然非常个性化，但并不占用整个房间的空间。

What I love the most about this is, obviously, it really is customized and so personal, but it doesn't take up an entire room.

我们并不是每个人都有地方放一个家庭健身房。

We don't all have room for a home gym.

Tonal通过一套简约设备，让你在家随时享受完整健身房的便利和私人教练的指导。

Tono provides the convenience of a full gym and the guidance of a personal trainer anytime at home with one Sleek system.

这是终极的力量训练系统，帮助你减少对锻炼计划的纠结，更多地关注实际效果。

It's the ultimate strength training system, helping you focus less on workout planning and more on getting results.

Tonal 提供实时指导提示，帮助你纠正动作姿势，安全有效地锻炼。

Tonal gives you real time coaching cues to dial in your form and help you live safely and effectively.

经过快速评估后，Tonal 会为每个动作设置最佳重量，并随着你变强，以每磅为单位进行调整。

After a quick assessment, Tonal sets the optimal weight for every move and adjust in one pound increments as you get stronger.

因此你始终能感受到挑战。

So you are always challenged.

Tonal Huts，你可以从多种专家指导的课程中选择，涵盖力量训练到箭术击打。

Tonal Huts, you choose from a variety of expert led workouts from strength to arrow hit.

哦，我真的很喜欢箭术击打吗？

Oh, do I love arrow hit?

还有瑜伽和柔韧性训练，让你欲罢不能。

To yoga and mobility to keep you coming back for more.

现在，Tonal 为我们的听众提供200美元折扣，使用促销码 lady 即可享受。

Right now, Tonal's offering our listeners $200 off your total purchase with promo code lady.

这是 tonal.com，使用促销码 lady 可享受 200 美元折扣。

That's tonal.com, promo code lady for $200 off your purchase.

这是 tonal.com，使用促销码 lady 可享受 200 美元折扣。

That's tonal.com, promo code lady for $200 off.

现在回到女士们的话题。

Now back to the lady gang.

我们回来了。

We're back.

现在，贝卡，这个赛季你得加入进来。

Now, Becca, we need you to get on this this season.

我已经很久没看《单身汉》了。

I've been off The Bachelor for so long.

可能已经有五六年了。

It's probably been five or six years.

我回来了。

I'm back.

我现在正在看《单身女郎》。

I'm watching Bachelorette right now.

泰勒·弗兰基·保罗，来自《摩门教妻子》。

Taylor Frankie Paul from Mormon Wives.

我知道，但我没看过《摩门教妻子》。

Know, but I didn't watch Mormon Wives.

那你得看看。

Well, watch it.

特别好看，你可以在

It's so good and you could watch it in

一个周末内看完。

a weekend.

你知道，我不太喜欢看那些不让人向往的电视节目。

I I, you know, I don't like to watch non aspirational television.

我知道，但杰西在上面，而你很喜欢杰西。

I know, but Jesse's on it and you love Jesse.

我确实喜欢杰西，但没那么喜欢。

I do love Jesse, but I don't Not that much.

不。

No.

它

It's

没关系。

fine.

我们只是希望你看看《单身汉》。

We just need you to watch The Bachelor.

所以，对于那些没看过《摩门妻子》的人，我来简单说说背景。

So basically here's the backstory for anyone who didn't watch Mormon Wives.

泰勒·弗兰基·保罗是个怪人。

Taylor Frankie Paul is kookadookal.

明白吗？

K?

她是个疯疯癫癫的人。

She's kookadooks.

她有两个孩子吗？

She is a mom of two?

也许是三个，因为她和达科塔生了一个孩子。

Maybe three because she had the baby with Dakota.

我觉得有两个爸爸，三个孩子。

I think there's two baby daddies, three babies.

而且她才

And she's

20岁。

20.

大概22岁。

Like 22.

她太老了。

She's so old.

她太火辣了。

She's so hot.

她真的超有魅力。

She's like so sexy.

她身材娇小，却有巨大的假胸和长长的头发。

She's got a tiny little body and big ass fake boobs and like big long hair.

她的脸完美无瑕。

Her face is perfect.

她在《摩门妻子》第一季时没那么疯癫，那时警察因为我和达科塔激烈争吵而被叫来。

She's not so bananas on the first season of Mormon Wives like the cops get called because her and Dakota are fighting so aggressively.

她就是这样。

Like she is.

但她也很坦诚。

But she's also like she's so honest.

是的。

Yes.

她非常有自知之明，也很诚实，而且有很多令人欣赏的优点。

Like she's so self aware and honest and she has very, very many redeeming qualities.

她知道自己疯疯癫癫的。

Like she knows she's cuckoo dookel.

她坦然接受这一点，这让她特别有趣。

Like she owns it which makes her so fun.

而且她还是《单身女郎》的主角，这简直是最大的跨界联动，因为……

And she is the bachelorette, which is the greatest crossover because Well, the

唯一能让《单身汉》节目自救的办法，就是他们当时在厕所里。

only thing that the bachelor could have done to save themselves because they were in the toilet.

这简直就是，而且只有……

Like this was And only

所以现在她会说，但关键是。

so now she's like, but here's the thing.

这些男生走进来的时候，根本不知道谁是那个单身汉。

These guys are walking in and they were cast not knowing who the Bachelor is.

现在她是个名人了。

And now it's a famous person.

她是个有多个孩子的名人。

It's a famous person with multiple children.

而且还有这么多戏剧性的情节，肯定会非常精彩。

And like all this drama attached, it's gonna be so good.

所以我想看看这些男生。

So I want to look through the guys.

杰克发给我们一个链接，让我们了解一下这些男性。

Jack has sent us a link to walk through the men.

杰克，我想让你介绍一下他们。

Jack, I want you to introduce them.

告诉我们你听到了什么，你知道些什么。

Tell us what you're what you're hearing, what you know.

你有把邮件发给我们吗？

And did you email it to us?

我已经把邮件发给你们了。

I emailed it to you guys.

是的。

Yes.

好的。

Okay.

所以，先说一下，我觉得这特别搞笑，因为我去查了他们。

So basically to preface this, I thought this was so funny because I looked them up.

他们通常会发布男性模特的写真拍摄。

They usually release like the men's, they do a photo shoot.

这些照片总是最差的，所有男生看起来都特别丑。

They're always the worst pictures like all of the guys always look so fugly.

但当你看到他们本人时，你会觉得，哦，他们其实还挺帅的。

And then you see them in real life and you're like, oh, they're actually kind of hot.

所以他们完成了拍摄。

So they did their photoshoot.

所以我把那个链接发给你们了。

So I have that in the link that I sent you guys.

但后来他们肯定让每个男人都拍了同样的开场短视频，

But then they must have made every man do like an intro, the same intro tick tock where

就是那种，我

it was like, I

听说泰勒·弗兰基·保罗正在找对象。

heard that Taylor Frankie Paul is looking for love.

然后视频里得展示你性格的三个侧面。

Then it like, must be like, showcase like three parts of your personality in this video.

所以他们都开始拍了。

So then they're all doing it.

我觉得这肯定特别明显，里面肯定有男人特别爱在镜头前表现自己。

And I'm like, that's got to be so of course, there's going to be men in there that are going to be a ham for the camera.

但肯定也有几个男人觉得，这简直是我的噩梦。

But there's got to be a couple men in there that are like, this is my nightmare.

是的

Yeah.

但除了其中三个人，其他人都做了。

But everybody except for like three of them did it.

所以我把我的两个最爱放在最上面。

So I put my two favorites at the top.

好的。

Okay.

大家可以看到。

Guys can see.

对。

Yes.

第一个是来自北卡罗来纳州的理查德。

The first one is this guy Richard from North Carolina.

他是一名摄影师。

He's a photographer.

他的照片看起来挺丑的，但如果你亲自见他本人，就会不一样。

Again, his like picture looks pretty ugly, but then you go and you look at him in person.

我觉得他很帅。

I think he's hot.

我也觉得他很帅。

I think he's hot too.

我喜欢有喉结和戴手表的男人。

I like a man with an Adam's apple and a watch.

我不喜欢他在Instagram上的内容。

I don't like his content on Instagram.

我真的不喜欢。

I really don't.

我不喜欢

I I don't like

任何男人在Instagram上的内容。

any man's content on Instagram.

没错。

Exactly.

没错。

Exactly.

你知道吗，如果我是《单身女郎》的女主角，我会说：我想找遍所有没有Instagram的男人。

You know, if I were the bachelorette, I'd be like, I want you to find every man out there who doesn't have an Instagram.

我知道。

I know.

或者即使有，也是2015年拍的一张狗的照片。

Or if they do, it's a picture of a dog from 2015.

嗯，他确实是个摄影师，所以是的，

Well, he definitely, well, he is a photographer, so Yeah,

但那他为什么还要拍那些奇怪的短视频，唱Ella Langley的歌呢？

but then why does he need to do like weird reels of him singing Ella Langley?

这太让人不适了。

Like, this is so disturbing.

我知道。

I know.

我不相信摄影师是个超过28岁还能算正经职业的工作。

I don't believe that photographer's a real job past the age of 28.

你想想，如果你不是凯文·梅泽尔在大都会歌剧院晚会上为碧昂丝拍照，我真的不知道算什么。

You're like, if you're not Kevin Mazer photographing Beyonce at the Met Gala, I just don't know.

或者你至少得是个婚礼摄影师。

Or like if you're not like a wedding photographer

或者类似的工作。

or something.

是的。

Yeah.

还有啊，他的手也太小了吧，朋友们。

Also his hands are so small, guys.

那些是手指吗？

Are those fingers.