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嗯，这是什么？
Well, what is this?
欢迎来到女士帮派。
Welcome to the lady gang.
太棒了。
That's amazing.
再说一遍。
Say that again.
女士帮派。
The lady gang.
这里的事情即将改变。
Things are about to change around here.
每周我们都会与好莱坞最火的女生团体凯尔蒂·奈特、贝卡·托宾和杰克·范见面。
Each week, we catch up with Hollywood's hottest girl posse, Kelty Knight, Becca Tobin, and Jack Van
你好。
Hello.
你好。
Hello.
你好。
Hello.
欢迎来到Lady Gang。
Welcome to Lady Gang.
我是贝卡·托宾，和杰克·加内克以及凯尔蒂·奈特在一起。
I'm Becca Tobin here with Jack Ganek and Kelti Knight.
你好。
Hello.
嗨，各位女士。
Hey, ladies.
嗨。
Hey.
我们都穿着毛衣。
We're all in sweaters.
这是穿毛衣的天气。
It's sweater weather.
穿毛衣的天气。
Sweater weather.
是的。
Yes.
我昨晚还带着妆。
And I had last night's makeup on.
所以
So
你昨晚去哪儿了？
Where'd you go last night?
我想聊聊这件事。
Well, I wanna talk about it.
这是我的好运周，坏运周。
It's my good week, bad week.
哦，好吧。
Oh, okay.
那我们上车吧。
Well, we'll hop in.
是时候了
It's time for
好周。
Good week.
是的，没错。
Yes, it is.
坏周。
Bad week.
哦，不。
Oh, no.
好吧。
All right.
所以昨晚，或者说这周，我去参加了在希尔顿酒店举办的美国芭蕾舞剧院慈善晚会。
So last night I went or, you know, this week I went to the American Ballet Theatre Gala at the Hilton.
这是我一年中最喜欢的活动。
It's my favorite event of the year.
贝卡，你和我一起去的。
Becca, you went with me.
每年都在变得越来越好。
It's getting better and better every year.
我真的非常喜爱观看芭蕾舞。
And I just truly love to watch ballet.
我得想办法每个月都能去观看一次这种水准的演出。
Like, I have got to figure out where I can be going once a month to see something like something of this caliber.
这是我最喜欢的事情。
It is my favorite thing.
我真的对它着迷了。
Like, I am obsessed with it.
太有趣了。
It was so fun.
我带了贝娅特丽斯·埃弗雷特去，她是碧昂丝的舞蹈队长，我们在《火箭女郎》百场演出时重新取得了联系。
I took Ashley Everett, who's Beyonce's dance captain, and we had reconnected at the Rockettes one hundred.
那真的、真的、真的、真的太有趣了。
And it was just so, so, so, so fun.
所以那算是我这周的高光时刻。
And I so that was my good week.
我糟糕的一周是我朋友在BCBG做公关。
My bad week is my friend is working for PR for BCBG.
我可能这辈子都没买过或穿过BCBG Max的东西，也许自2003年以来就没买过。
And that's not I have not shopped or bought something from BCBG Max in like, probably in my life, maybe since 2003.
但你知道，他们以前的东西确实不错。
But like, you know, they have nice back in the day.
是啊。
Yeah.
但他们仍然在尼曼百货、布鲁明戴尔百货等地方销售，这毕竟是一个品牌，你知道的。
But they sell it still at like Neiman Marcus, Bloomingdale's, like, it is like a brand, you know.
她跟我说：‘嘿，告诉我一声。’
And she was like, hey, let me know.
我总是想帮这些人一把。
And I always wanna help these people out.
你明白我的意思吗？
You know what I mean?
因为要让别人在红毯上穿BCBG的衣服很难。
Because it's hard to get someone to wear a BCBG something on the red carpet.
我就说：‘我来搞定。’
And I was like, I got you.
所以我弄到了这条裙子。
So I got this dress.
我本来打算穿它去别的场合。
I was gonna wear it to something else.
我昨晚穿了它。
I ended up wearing it last night.
我把它改了改，但说实话，它不是最好的裙子。
And I I tailored it and it was like, it's not the best dress.
网上的人们都超爱它。
People are loving it on the Internet.
他们说：天哪。
They're like, oh my god.
我想，不管怎样，它可能算不上有史以来最棒的裙子，但我感觉特别好。
I'm like, maybe I have anyway, it's not the best dress of all time, but I was like, I feel great.
好吧。
Fine.
所以我到了那儿，有两件事同时发生了，我得聊聊。
So I get there and two things have happened to me in tandem order and I need to discuss.
第一，我到了之后心想，随便吧。
Number one, I get there and I'm like, whatever.
我坐下来时，我的椅子实际上正在和我们的朋友朱莉·陈聊天。
I'm sitting down to my chair is actually visiting with our friend Julie Chen.
这位女士至少七十多岁，头发做了蓬松造型，你知道的那种比佛利山庄布伦特伍德的女士。
And this woman who is in her mid seventies at least, with like a teased hair, you know that Beverly Hills Brentwood lady.
你懂我的意思吗？
You know what I mean?
她丈夫发明了便利贴，你知道的？
Like, husband invented post its, you know?
她走过来对我说：天哪。
She comes over to me and she goes, oh my gosh.
我必须知道你的裙子是在哪里买的。
I have to know where your dress is from.
我两周后要去迈阿密参加一个派对。
I'm going to a party in Miami in two weeks.
这条裙子对我来说再合适不过了。
It's the perfect dress for me to wear.
我当时就想，我这风格是不是像76岁的？我这裙子穿给76岁的老太太合适吗？
And I'm like, do I have the style of a '76 like, is my dress appropriate for a 76 year old?
我说，当然合适。
And I said, yeah.
当你找到一条能遮住肘部的完美裙子，是不是特别棒？
Isn't it great when you find a great dress that covers your elbows?
她笑了笑，我心里想，我们可不一样。
Like, kind of laughed and I was like, we're not the same.
然后我又想，我们真的不一样吗？
And then I was like, are we the same?
我之所以有这种感觉，伙计们，是因为三周前，我参加一个活动时穿着我那条超棒的圣罗兰裙子。
And the only reason I'm feeling that way, guys, is because three weeks ago, I was in an event and I was wearing my fabulous YSL.
贝克，我觉得你曾经借走过那件夹克和丝绸连衣裙吧。
Beck, I think you borrowed it once, like, blazer jacket, silk dress.
嗯。
Mhmm.
我去了酒吧，一位女士转向我，说：天啊。
And I went to the bar, and this woman turned to me, and she goes, oh my god.
你真是太有品位了。
You are so chic.
我当时说：谢谢。
And I was like, thank you.
她说：这衣服简直就像我妈妈会穿并喜欢的那种。
And she goes, that is like something my mom would wear and love.
艾玛。
Emma.
这是因为我们下面这一代人根本什么都不穿。
It's because it's because the generation below us is wearing no clothes at all.
我需要
Do I need
开始穿得像个小荡妇吗？
to start dressing like a slut?
不。
No.
他们也没有年龄的概念。
They also don't have any concept of age.
比如，他们觉得40岁就已经老得不行了。
Like, they think that, like, 40 is, like, decrepit.
是的。
Yeah.
确实如此。
It's true.
我的意思是，当我20岁的时候，看到40岁的女性，我会觉得她都可以当我妈了。
I mean, I think about myself at 20 and I would be around a 40 year old woman and I'd be like, yeah, she could be my mom.
所以是的。
So yeah.
那位75岁的女性让我有点困惑，因为那条裙子其实不算暴露，但它没有那种低胸设计
It was The 75 year old woman, I'm a little confused about because that dress is, like, kind of not scandalous, but it, like, has doesn't have, like, a low
V领，但它有领子，所以看起来有种商务性感的感觉，你知道吗？
V, but it has a collar, so it's giving business sexual, you know?
对。
Yeah.
当你没有胸部时，比如她，她的胸会露出来。
And when you don't have breasts on me, like, on her, her boobs are gonna be out.
但对我来说，就什么都没有。
But on me, it's just nothing.
所以对我来说穿深V并不算出格，但我还是觉得，你知道的，我也不介意。
So it's like it's not a scandalous for me to wear a deep V, but I still was like, you know, and I'm game.
我当时就说，把你的手机给我。
I was like, give me your phone.
然后我就去查了一下。
And then I looked it up.
我特别生气自己没把照片和链接准备好。
I was so mad at myself that I didn't like have my shot, my link ready.
我本可以做成一笔生意。
I could have got a sale.
本可以取得进展。
Could have made progress.
我以为你会直接从身上脱下来给她呢。
I thought you were going to just give it to her off your back.
我对她说过这话。
I said that to her.
我说：听着，我再也不穿这个了。
I said, listen, I'm never wearing this again.
把你的地址给我。
Give me your address.
我寄邮件给你。
I'll send it in the mail to you.
这个给你了。
You can have this one.
她就说：不，不，我买了。
And she goes, no, no, I'll buy it.
我当时想：好吧，消费主义，不错。
And I was like, all right, consumerism, good.
我想是吧。
I guess.
然后朱莉·陈说：你的朋友会很高兴你做成了一笔生意。
And then Julie Chen was like, Your friend will be so happy that you got a sale.
我
And I
我当时想：天啊，朱莉，你说得对。
was like, Damn, Julie, you're right.
确实如此。
It's true.
裙子挺好看的。
Dress is pretty.
我觉得这挺不错的。
I thought it was very Yeah.
谢谢
Thank
你。
you.
嗯。
Yeah.
这种裙子的面料近距离看，你会觉得它很商场风，
It's one of those dresses where, like, the fabric up close, you're like, it's giving mall,
但
but
但在照片里，只要剪裁得当，任何衣服都能很好看。
then in a photo and anything can be great if you tailor it.
是不是有点弹力面料？
Is it a little spandexy?
有点弹力，但任何东西只要你好好搭配，弹力材质正是它如此出色的原因，因为它非常舒适。
It's a little spandexy, but like anything can be great if you take and the spandexy is what makes it so great because it's so comfortable.
是啊，你知道吗，我当时就想，我反正也不在那种状态。
Yeah, you know, I was like, I'm not in like I get anyway.
好吧，下一个是谁？
Okay, who's next?
我来。
I'll go.
我美好的一周是，这个是Rebecca，我去看了西伯利亚大铁路乐团的演出。
My good week is and this is Rebecca that I did go see the Trans Siberian Orchestra.
天哪。
Holy moly.
我想我小时候可能看过，但我觉得这真是一次独特的体验，因为直到下半场快结束时，你才真正感受到圣诞节的氛围。
I think I might have seen it when I was younger, but I'm like, this is such an experience because you don't even really get Christmas vibes at all until maybe little bit of the second half of
演出就是这么安排的。
the show is that's how it's structured.
下半场是圣诞节。
The second half is Christmas.
哦，对，因为我觉得这更像万圣节。
Oh, yeah, because I'm like, this is giving more Halloween.
对，摇滚乐。
Yeah, rock and roll.
这完全是摇滚乐风格的万圣节，你之前给我发过消息，说都是你巡演时一起的那些人。
It's giving rock and roll Halloween all and so you were you texted me, and it's all of the same people that you toured with.
对吧？
Right?
没错。
Yep.
除了那个女孩，可能还有另一个，还有不幸的是，那位钢琴手几年前去世了。
Everyone except for obviously the girl maybe the girl whose part like I was and then one other and then, unfortunately, the piano player, he passed away a couple years ago.
但真的是同样的吉他手、同样的音乐总监、同样的歌手，这个演出很棒。
But it's literally the same guitar players, the same musical director, the same singers, the this gig is good.
我的意思是，如果我没得到《欢乐合唱团》这个角色，我可能会回去每年都在《Transamerica》和《Orchestra》里演出。
I mean, if I had not gotten Glee, I would have gone back and done Transamerica and Orchestra for every year of my life.
这太疯狂了。
It is insane.
因为你可以看出来，尤其是那些吉他手，我觉得这些人阅历丰富，而且是好事。
Well, because you can tell, especially the guitarists, I'm like, these guys have been around the block, like in a good way.
他们都留着超长的头发。
Like they are they all have long ass hair.
就像，贾里德，如果你哪天需要人，或者乐队解散了，来演《Transamerica》和《Orchestra》吧。
Was like, Jared, if you ever need a if the band ever ceases to exist, Transapier and Orchestra.
嗯，
Well,
迈克，你 probably 可以顶替其中一个人。
Mike, you'd probably He could take over for one of the guys.
我的意思是，那些人里有一个年纪挺大的，他可以顶上去，顺便兼职，还不用透露自己的身份。
I mean, one of those guys is quite old, so he could jump in and take over and just moonlight, and he doesn't have to say who he is.
他们甚至不需要告诉核心粉丝。
Like, they don't even have to tell the main fans.
他会完美融入，只是他们太过夸张，那种玩摇滚明星的派头。
He would fit right in except for like, they're very, like, over the top and their rock star ness the way that they play.
贾里德说，我不知道自己能不能做到。
And Jared's like, don't know if I could do this.
你见过贾里德演奏过吗？
Have you ever seen Jared play?
没有。
No.
一个摇滚明星。
A rock star.
没有。
No.
他骨子里就有这股劲儿。
He has it in him.
他们喜欢那种肢体表现。
They were like, they do like physical.
他们非常富有戏剧性。
They're very theatrical.
他可以
He could
做到。
do it.
我们可以，我可以，我们可以把我的教练换掉。
We could I could we could move my coach.
我同意，凯尔蒂。
I agree, Kelty.
他身上有这个潜质。
He has it in him.
杰里德弹吉他时可不是个内向的人。
Jared is not a wallflower when he plays guitar.
他有那种气质。
He has he has he has vibes.
不。
No.
他确实有。
He definitely does.
他可不是那个在厨房桌边给欢乐时光邮件俱乐部贴信封、和梅与比尔在一起的普通人。
He's not the same man licking envelopes for the happy hour mail club at the kitchen table with May and Bill.
我现在就告诉你。
I'll tell you that right now.
舞台上的贾里德是完全不同的生物。
Jared on stage is a different beast.
明白吗？
Okay?
确实如此。
It's true.
剪掉这段
Clip that
剪掉这段。
clip that.
不过我确实很喜欢。
I did love it though.
我们确实提前离开了，因为我们想尽量避开高峰，你知道的，不想赶在人多的时候走。
Well, we did leave early because we were trying to like, you know, get out of we didn't want to like, yeah, beat the rush.
天啊，你
Damn, you
你都老了，朱迪斯。
are old Judith.
我们当时和你在一起，我们没有
Well, were with your We didn't
我们没听最后一首歌，因为要赶着找停车位。
stay for the last song because we needed to beat the parking.
我的意思是，是的，就是这样。
I mean, yes, that is.
我讨厌唱到最后一刻。
I hate singing till the end.
我很享受。
I enjoyed it.
我觉得太棒了。
I thought it was amazing.
我当时想，但这里面没有圣诞歌曲，不过算了。
And I was like, but there is no Christmas songs in this, but I guess whatever.
我糟糕的一周某种程度上也是杰瑞德的糟糕一周。
My bad week is kind of a bad week by proxy for Jared.
我们用宜家的橱柜做了那个定制的早餐角。
So we made that custom breakfast nook out of the IKEA cabinets.
这不便宜。
It's not cheap.
宜家比以前贵多了。
IKEA is way more expensive than it used to be.
在柜子上花了很多钱。
Spent a lot of money on the cabinet.
什么宜家
What the IKEA
还得买油漆，还得买定制坐垫。
had to buy the paint, had to buy custom cushions.
坐垫要600美元，因为坐垫太贵了。
The cushions are $600 because cushions are so expensive.
我以前都不知道。
I never knew.
不管怎样，我们把它刷成了蓝色。
Anyways, we painted it blue.
然后我就想，这颜色不对。
Then I was like, this is not the color.
我们把它刷成深绿色，以符合整体氛围。
Let's paint it a dark green to fit with the vibe.
然后我终于承认我不喜欢它。
And then I finally admitted that I don't like it.
所以我们现在试着把它卖了，处理掉它。
So now we're trying to sell it and get rid of it.
于是杰瑞德把它发到了Facebook市场。
So Jared posted it on Facebook Marketplace.
他说，已经有好多人联系我，问我能不能给他们定制柜子。
And he's like, I have gotten so many inquiries of people asking me to make them custom cabinets.
人们以为他是个木匠。
Like, people think that he is a carpenter.
他们以为他能花800美元，或者我们标的价格，给他们做这个柜子，而这个价格比我们买材料的钱还少。
They think that he is going to make them this cabinet for $800 or however much we put it on, which is less than everything that we paid for the materials of it.
他简直忙不过来。
And he is just inundated.
我觉得很愧疚，但我们还是卖不掉它，因为它的形状太定制化了。
And I feel so bad yet now we still can't sell it because it's such a custom shape.
这已经成了一个问题。
And it's becoming an issue.
所以如果有人需要一个定制的早餐角，
So if anybody out there needs a custom breakfast nook,
杰克，你可能得留着它了。
You might have to keep it, Jack.
这就是拥有房产。
This is homeownership.
不，她绝对不会这么做的。
No, she's never going to do that.
好吧，
Okay,
它和她不搭。
it doesn't match with her.
我的意思是，我终于搞清楚了我们家的装修风格，而且我已经买好了
Like, I finally, like, figured out our esthetic for our house and I had purchased it too
当时我以为我会更搞怪一点。
early thinking I was going to be more quirky.
天哪。
Oh, my.
现在我想要一种更原始的氛围。
And now I want it to be more like primitive sort of vibes.
但这根本行不通。
And it's it's not it's not working.
原始风格的室内设计真让我受不了。
Primitive and interiors really bums me out.
哪一个？
Which one?
是哪一个？
Which is?
“原始”和“室内设计”这两个词放在一起，真让我受不了。
The word primitive and interiors, it really bums me out.
我明白你在说什么。
I know what you're talking about.
我支持这种风格，但我希望有另一个词来形容。
I support it, but I wish there was another term.
嗯。
Yeah.
你知道吗，就像修道院一样，你得坐在一个光秃秃的木凳上
Know it's like It like a monastery and you're gonna, like, sit on like a raw stool to
吃你的晚餐。
eat your dinner.
石头。
Stone.
不过，那种感觉确实就是这样。
That is kind of the vibe, though.
就像，我的意思是，有种塞勒姆女巫审判的感觉。
It's like, I mean, it's like Salem witch trial vibes.
就像，你知道的，但确实是这样。
Like, you know, but like, it's Yeah.
我知道。
I know.
很自然，然后人们就会说，我不确定。
Natural that then people are like, I don't know.
总之，好了，贝卡。
Anyways, well, Becca.
祝你的早餐角一切顺利。
Best of luck to your breakfast nook.
就是
Is just
贝卡今天表现超棒。
Becca's on fire today.
好的。
Okay.
早餐角安息吧。
Rest in peace breakfast nook.
我这周过得糟透了，因为邻居们举办了圣诞节派对。
My bad week is the neighborhood had a party for Christmas.
你知道的，圣诞老人也来了。
And, you know, Santa's there.
我儿子快四岁了，但过去两年里，他每次坐上圣诞老人的腿都会尖叫、大哭，或者干脆拒绝坐下。
My son has he's almost four, and he has yet to sit on Santa's lap without screaming, crying, or just the last two years just boycotting sitting there at all.
所以他是个典型的‘陌生人警惕’型孩子。
So he's a real stranger danger kid.
他不喜欢陌生人，但说实话，我们不都该这样吗？
He doesn't like a which honestly, shouldn't we all be?
是啊。
Yeah.
太奇怪了。
It's so strange.
太奇怪了。
It's so strange.
但不管怎样，这真是个难题。
But, anyways, that was a real struggle.
我们得拍张照片，我当时就想，我们为什么要这张照片？
We had to, like, get the picture, which I'm like, why do we need this picture?
我不知道。
I don't know.
我想我们可以以后给他的妻子看看，他连这位先生的腿都不敢坐，真是个胆小鬼。
I guess we can just show his wife what a pussy he is later that he wouldn't sit on this man's lap.
我不知道。
I don't know.
是啊。
Yeah.
所以我们拍了照片。
So we get the picture.
他本来就心情很差，而我只是想喝杯该死的浓缩马提尼，坐下来享受一下邻居们，过个愉快的一天。
He's already in such a bad mood, and it's just I wanna have a freaking espresso martini and sit down and enjoy my neighbors and have a nice day.
然后我看到扎克抱着福特。
And then I see Zach holding Ford.
他在大哭。
He is sobbing.
我以为他摔倒了。
I thought he had fallen.
我以为我们要去急诊室了。
I thought we were going to the emergency room.
我以为他头骨裂了。
I thought there was a cracked skull.
没有。
No.
只是圣诞老人来参加派对了。
It's just that the Grinch came to the party.
所以一个打扮成圣诞老人的男人出现在派对上。
So a man dressed as the Grinch shows up at the party.
为福特辩护一下，那根本不是适合孩子的友好型圣诞老人服装。
In Ford's defense, it was like not a kid friendly friend Grinch costume.
你知道的？
You know?
它真的不够卡通化。
It was really it was not cartoonish enough.
有点太黑暗了。
It was a little too dark arts.
明白吗？
Okay?
嗯。
Mhmm.
所以他进来了，福特吓得大叫起来。
So he comes in and Ford is screaming his face off.
我们接下来的一个小时都在躲着格林奇，直到我的朋友不得不站起来说：‘格林奇先生，没有不敬的意思。’
We proceeded to spend the next hour dodging the Grinch until my friend finally had to get up and she had to say, hey, mister Grinch, no disrespect.
这里有个孩子被你吓坏了。
There is a child here who is petrified of you.
每次你出现，我知道你的本意是好的。
And every time you come around, I know your intentions are nice.
你只是在追着大孩子们跑。
You're chasing around the big kids.
他们觉得这很有趣。
They're getting a kick out of it.
我们不想破坏任何人的时光，但请你离开露台。
We don't wanna ruin anybody's time, but, like, get the off the patio.
然后我收到了学校的一封邮件，他们说：‘嘿。’
So then I get an email from school, and they say, hey.
这周学校是‘绿巨人’周。
This week, it's Grinch week at school.
哦，不。
Oh, no.
我不得不给老师发邮件，说：我只是想确认一下，你们正在搞与‘绿巨人’相关的内容，但不会有一个‘绿巨人’突然出现在学校的压轴环节。
I had to be the mom that emailed the teacher and said, I just wanna clarify that you guys are doing Grinch related things and that there is no grand finale of the Grinch showing up at school.
真的出现了吗？
Was there?
没有。
No.
她说：当然不会。
She said, of course not.
我的意思是，这是一位教育工作者。
I mean, this is a woman in education.
你知道的？
You know?
她不会出现在街区派对上。
She's not showing up a block party.
所以，不管怎样，我当时在派对上就觉得，天啊，希望我儿子，谢天谢地，他像他爸，我知道他内心深处一定有个硬汉。
So, anyways, I felt like I mean, at that party, I just felt like, god, I hope my son thank god Zach is his dad, and I know that, like, there is a butch man inside of him somewhere.
你知道吗？
You know?
我的意思是，希望二十年后他能修车，但天啊，他现在简直是个胆小鬼。
Like, he can fix a car hopefully in twenty years, but my god, he is a pussy right now.
小胆鬼。
Little scaredy cat.
他就是个胆小鬼。
He's a puss puss.
所以他特别敏感。
So He's so sensitive.
他特别敏感。
He's so sensitive.
他讨厌格林奇带来的黑暗能量。
He hates he does not like the dark energy that the Grinch brings.
天哪。
Oh my god.
太好笑了。
Hilarious.
我美好的一周就是，我的算法不知怎么现在全是摩羯座，摩羯座，摩羯座，我的星座运势。
My good week is simply that I my algorithm somehow is now just Capricorn, Capricorn, Capricorn, my horoscope.
大概是因为我们进入摩羯座季节了。
Probably because we're getting into Capricorn season.
嗯。
Mhmm.
这一切都太疯狂了，但这些账号上的每一个梗，我都觉得第一次被真正理解了。
Every thing this is so crazy, but every single meme on any of these accounts, I feel seen for the first time in a really long time.
是啊，你们知道吗，这太离谱了。
Yeah, It's wild, you guys.
我觉得，如果你们想更好地理解我，就应该关注一个摩羯座星座梗号，因为我一直以为这些缺点都是我的不足。
I think that if you guys wanna understand me better, you should follow a Capricorn astrology meme account because it is I thought all these things were shortcomings.
我以为这些都是性格缺陷。
I thought they were character flaws.
我以为这是童年创伤。
I thought this was childhood trauma.
我不确定。
I don't know.
但其实这只是摩羯座的本性，谢天谢地。
But it is just being a Capricorn, and thank god few.
是啊。
Yeah.
你没问题。
You're fine.
你就是一只猫。
You're just a cat.
我就是一只猫。
I'm just a cat.
你就是一个摩羯座。
You're just a Capricorn.
你们将会
You guys are gonna
走。
go.
我会发一些东西给你们，你们会说：天啊。
I'm gonna send you some, and you're gonna be like, holy shit.
你是个摩羯座。
You are a Capricorn.
凯尔蒂不是摩羯座吗？
Is Kelty not a Capricorn?
水瓶座。
An Aquarius.
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她是个水瓶座。
She's an Aquarius.
但你后来有没有意识到你自己也是摩羯座？
But didn't you realize later that you were a Capricorn also?
我想是的。
I think so.
她
She
她有一些摩羯座的特质，但我认为你更像水瓶座。
has some Capricorn traits, but I think you're more Aquarius.
好吧。
All right.
我们回来的时候，虽然不知道她的星座，但知道她是个厉害的娘们。
When we come back, we don't know her horoscope, but we know she's a badass bitch.
切丽·汉德勒来了。
Chelsea Handler's here.
本集《Lady Gang》由BetterHelp赞助播出。
This episode of Lady Gang is brought to you by BetterHelp.
我们的听众在betterhelp.com/ladygang可享受10%的折扣。
Our listeners get 10% off at betterhelp.com/ladygang.
假期是传承传统的时刻。
The holidays are time for traditions.
你的家庭可能有一些传统，比如假期回家、装饰房屋。
You may have a tradition in your family like going home for the holidays, decorating your house.
也许你正在建立属于自己的传统，比如定期自我照顾、关注自己的情绪，或者对很多人来说，2026年的新传统是去接受心理咨询。
Maybe you're starting to forge your own traditions like regular self care or checking in on your emotions or new for 2026 for many of you, going to therapy.
如果你感到被压垮、过度刺激、困惑，生活一团糟，那么接受心理咨询是你一生中最重要的事情之一。
Therapy is one of the most important things you can possibly do in your life if you have felt overrun and overstimulated and confused and life is very messy.
与BetterHelp这样的心理咨询师合作，能帮助你聚焦目标，并明确如何照顾自己。
Working with a therapist like at BetterHelp helps you focus on your goals and figures out exactly how to take care of yourself.
如果你不照顾好自己，一切都无从谈起。
And nothing goes well if you're not taking care of you.
所以这个十二月，通过照顾好自己来开启一个新的传统。
So this December, start a new tradition by taking care of you.
我们的听众可在 betterhelp.com/ladygang 获得 10% 的折扣。
Our listeners get 10% off at betterhelp.com/ladygang.
那是 betterhelp, help.com/ladygang。
That's betterhelp, help.com/ladygang.
我为你感到兴奋，迫不及待想让你见到你的治疗师。
I'm excited for you, and I can't wait for you to meet your therapist.
现在回到Lady Gang。
Now back to the lady gang.
好了，Lady Gang，系好安全带，因为今天我们邀请了一位根本不需要介绍的女士，但我还是得介绍，因为我忍不住。
Okay, lady gang, buckle up because today we're joined by a woman who needs zero introduction, but is still getting one because I can't help myself.
她是一位喜剧演员、电视主持人、七次登上《纽约时报》畅销书榜的作家，更是全球最具标志性的、无所畏惧、敢于直言的女性之一。
She is a comedian, television host, a seven time New York Times bestselling author, and truly one of the most iconic, unbothered, speak your truth women on the planet.
她是直言不讳的女王、独自旅行的守护圣人、‘随心所欲过生活’的原始导师，坦白说，她就是我们所有人都希望拥有的大姐姐般的能量。
She's the queen of telling it like it is, a patron saint of solo travel, the original do whatever the hell you want life coach, and honestly, the big sister energy we all wish we had.
我们喜欢她的播客《亲爱的切尔西》。
We love her podcast, Dear Chelsea.
我们喜欢她的Netflix喜剧特辑《感觉》。
We love her Netflix comedy special, The Feeling.
我们喜欢她所有登上《纽约时报》畅销书榜单的著作，也喜欢在拉斯维加斯切尔西剧院观看她的驻场演出。
We love all of her New York Times bestselling books, and we love seeing her in Vegas at her Vegas residency at the Chelsea Theater.
她幽默、无畏、聪慧。
She's hilarious, fearless, brilliant.
她有一场全新的巡演，名为‘崇高与伟大’巡演。
She's got a brand new tour, the High and Mighty tour.
门票现已在chelseahandler.com上发售。
Tickets are available now at chelseahandler.com.
这告诉我们她是谁。
That tells us who it is.
请再次欢迎无坚不摧的切尔西·汉德勒回到Lady Gang，她来自加拿大，现场直播！
Please welcome back to the Lady Gang, the one and only unstoppable, live from Canada, Chelsea Handler.
嗨，姐妹们。
My Hi, girls.
我好想你们啊，姐妹们。
I missed you, girls.
我们也想你了。
We missed you.
你怎么看起来才25岁？
Why do you look 25?
你做了什么？
What did you do?
什么鬼
What the
姐妹们，我哪没做啊？
What aren't I doing, ladies?
好吧。
Okay.
首先，我得向你们道歉，因为我在最后一刻取消了和你们的约定。
First of all, I have to apologize to you girls because I canceled on you last minute.
所以我很高兴我们能重新安排时间。
So I'm so glad that we could reschedule.
我当时在纽约和别人发生关系，根本起不了床。
I don't and it was I was having sex with someone in New York City, and I literally could not get out of the bed.
哇。
Wow.
太好了。
Great
借口。
excuse.
爱，而且我知道我必须告诉你们真相，因为我觉得我得坦白。
Love And I knew I had to tell you guys the truth because I was like, I have to come clean.
我不喜欢撒谎。
I don't like to lie.
我喜欢直来直去。
I like to be forward.
我的意思是，这显然是主动提供了一些没人问过的信息。
I mean, this is obviously volunteering information that nobody asked for it.
但我希望你们知道，我当时真的想，天啊，我本来约了你们，那天还有其他几件事。
But I want to make sure that you guys know that I actually was like, oh shit, I had you guys and I had a couple other things that day.
我当时在纽约，刚和珍娜一起主持了《今日秀》，然后有个朋友来城里，事情就一发不可收拾了。
I was in New York City and I had just hosted the Today Show with Jenna, co hosted the Today Show with Jenna and I had some guy in town and then things got carried away.
等我反应过来的时候，已经是凌晨两点三十分了，姐妹们。
And then before I knew it, it was 02:30 in the morning girls.
我本该在凌晨四点上车去约翰·肯尼迪机场，搭飞机，这本来也没问题，因为我本来就要补觉。
And I was supposed to get in the car at 4AM to go to JFK, get on a plane, which would have been fine because I would have crashed.
但接着我要飞去洛杉矶，一整天都有媒体采访。
But then I would and then flown to LA and had a whole day of press.
凌晨两点三十分，我赤身裸体躺在某个男人身边时，我想：你知道吗？我值得拥有这一切。
And you know what I thought at 02:30 in the morning girls, when I was just naked in bed with some man, said, You know what, I deserve this.
我不想像早上四点那样上车。
I don't want to get in a car at 04:00 in the morning.
我是个女人，我有权利这么做。
I am a woman and I've earned the right to do this.
哇。
Wow.
男人。
Men.
老实说，我为你感到骄傲。
Honestly, I'm so proud of you.
现在，你的公关，你出色的公关，告诉我们，哦不，她错过了航班。
Now your publicist, your great publicist did let us know that, oops, she missed her flight.
我们之前并不知道她错过航班的前因后果。
Now we didn't know the backstory of how she missed her flight.
而这实际上让事情更棒了。
And that honestly makes it better.
我真希望他们能发一封邮件。
I wish they would have written an email.
切尔西早上太晚了，起不来床。
Chelsea was getting too late in the morning and could not get out of bed.
她无法出席了。
She's not able to make it.
那 honestly 会更好。
That honestly would have been better.
我喜欢早上赖床。
I love getting too late in the morning.
早上太早了。
Too early in the morning.
早上太早了。
Too early in the morning.
这才对味。
More like it.
得去睡觉了。
Had to get to sleep.
这正是我需要的。
That's what I needed.
我真的很
I'm so
为你感到骄傲。
proud of you.
现在你是故意把私人生活保密了吗？我觉得是吧？
And now is this like, now you're keeping your private life private now, I think, right, on purpose?
我的意思是，你知道的，一切都有一点私密，也有一点公开。
I mean, you know, everything's a little bit private and a little bit public.
好吧。
Okay.
我很为你高兴。
Well, I'm glad for you.
谢谢。
Thanks.
谢谢。
Thanks.
他是那种一曲成名的歌手吗？
Is I'm he like a one hit wonder?
这会不会是更有意义的东西？
Is this could this be something more?
你知道吗？
You know what?
这根本无所谓。
It doesn't even matter.
我的意思是，可能吧，你知道的，但做这种事真的特别有趣。
I mean, probably, you know, but like, it's just so much fun to do stuff like that.
自由自在，不用太过纠结，真的特别开心。
It's so much fun to just be free and not have to like, you know, really overthink things.
我认为这也是你们三位在年龄增长过程中都将期待的事情。
I think that's also something all of three of you have to look forward to with age.
你越来越不会过度思考，而是越来越真实地成为你自己，不再担心这些行为会对他人造成什么影响，因为你终于接受了自己是个好人，会做善良的事，也很可靠，诸如此类。
You overthink things less and less, and you just become more and more of who you truly are without any worry about how it's impacting others, because you come to terms with the fact that you're a good person and you do nice things and you're reliable, blah blah blah blah.
现在你可以随心所欲地做任何你想做的事了。
And now you're free to do what the fuck you wanna do.
我刚刚在想，要是我单身时在纽约和各种男人约会时能有你这种心态就好了，因为那时候我焦虑得要死，还会对根本不熟的男人动心，真希望我能像你这样，听起来太有趣了。
I was just thinking, I'm like, I wish I had your mindset when I was single and like sleeping with random men in New York City because it's like I had so much anxiety and like all and like then I catch feelings for guys I didn't know and I'm like I wish I felt like that because that sounds like fun.
是啊。
Yeah.
这是我年轻时为自己所期待的状态。
This is what I hoped for myself when I was younger.
在我二十多岁的时候，我就想，我要成为这样的女人。
When I was in my twenties, I thought, I wanna be this woman.
为什么我现在还没达到呢？
Why aren't I there yet?
而现在我在这里，真的很享受每一刻。
And now I'm here and I'm really enjoying every minute.
我现在确保不浪费一丝一毫作为女性所感受到的自由。
I'm now I'm making I'm making sure not to miss a second of the freedom that I feel as a woman.
而且你在事业上也是如此。
And also you have it like in your career.
你明白我的意思吗？
You know what I mean?
我觉得这就是你如此有启发性的原因，因为你通过保持真实而达到了顶峰。
Like, I think that's why you're so inspirational because you got to the top by being very authentic.
然后你就说，哦，真棒。
And then you're like, oh, cool.
我要去完成我的住院医师培训了。
I'm gonna I have my residency.
就像，我拥有了这一切。
Like, I have this.
我这里有一本书。
I have a book here.
我有这个。
I have this.
我有这个。
I have this.
其余的时间都属于你。
And then the rest of the time is yours.
你在惠斯勒。
You're in Whistler.
我能看到你身后那些挂着雪滴的加拿大小树，你简直太梦幻了。
I can see your little Canadian trees behind you with the snow drops on the You're just What a dream.
说到梦想，接下来是巡演。
Now, speak of dream, the tour.
我们能得到什么？
What are we getting?
这些都是《High and Mighty》里的新内容吗？
Is this all new material on High and Mighty?
你们在拍摄吗？
Are you filming it?
这是你的下一部纪录片吗？
Is this your next documentary?
你只穿着工装裤，像连体衣？不，算了。
What are we are you wearing only the cargo pant, like, jumpsuit No, done.
我再也不穿连体衣了。
I'm done with jumpsuits.
我再也不穿连体衣了。
I'm done with jumpsuits.
我已经退役了连体衣。
I've retired the jumpsuits.
好的。
Okay.
我不能再穿连体衣了。
I can't wear another jumpsuit.
我真的受够了。
I'm just over it.
它们
They're
让我很痛苦。
hurting me.
这就是我对生活的态度。
That's what I do with life.
我会全力以赴，然后就彻底放弃这种东西。
I go as hard as I can go, and then I'm done with the drug.
所以这是一场全新的巡演。
So I this is a new tour.
全是新内容，关于旅行，关于我的冒险，关于所有地方的男性，我刚从南极回来，各位。
All new materials, all about traveling, all about my escapades, all the men in all the places, all the I just got back from Antarctica, you guys.
那太疯狂了。
That was crazy.
这是一次疯狂的旅行。
It was a crazy trip.
那简直太不可思议了，我的意思是，我们穿越了德雷克海峡。
It was so, I mean, we crossed Drake's Passage.
那是一场迷幻的会议。
It was a psychedelic conference.
所以这艘船上一半的人在研究迷幻剂，另一半在使用迷幻剂，那场面太震撼了。
So like half the people on this boat were studying psychedelics and the other half were using And it was was epic.
这真是一次非常愉快的旅行。
It was really fun trip.
所以我会讲很多关于我旅行的事，因为我总是陷入最荒谬的境地。
And so I'm going to be talking a lot about all my travels because I always find myself in the most ridiculous situations.
我的意思是，这其实是故意的，我喜欢荒谬的事情。
And I mean, that's because, you know, it's by design, I like ridiculousness.
但没错，南极洲真的是那种我希望能去一次的地方。
But yeah, Antarctica was really like one of those places where I'm like, I hope I get to go there one day.
我的意思是，他们在研究你？
I mean, they studying you?
就像，你是那个参与者吗？
Like, you the participant that you're like?
他们本该这么做的。
They should have been.
至少我知道不该给企鹅吃致幻剂，因为我们离它们很近，而且关于接触企鹅有非常严格的规定。
At least I knew enough not to give any psychedelics to the penguins because we were in close proximity to them, and they have very strict rules about touching the penguins.
因为当你服用致幻剂时，你会感觉自己与动物和自然产生了某种共鸣。
Because like, when you do psychedelics, you do feel like you're on a frequency with animals and with nature.
你会觉得自己能和企鹅沟通，这些可怜的小企鹅。
Like, you feel like you can communicate with a penguin and these poor little penguins.
我的意思是，我在Instagram上发了一些视频，但它们基本上都是排成单列一路行走的。
I mean, posted some videos on my Instagram, but like they basically walk in this single file line.
它们有蹼足，所以只能一次跳两级台阶。
They have these webbed feet so they can only like jump up a step two feet at a time.
它们的胳膊藏在鳍肢后面。
And then their arms are behind their flippers are behind their back.
所以它们毫无防御能力。
So they're defenseless.
如果它们掉进雪里——这种情况每分钟会发生大约50次——它们只能自己弹起来。
So if they fall in the snow, which they do like 50 times a minute, they just have to pop back up.
它们得靠腹部力量弹起来。
Like they have to use their abs and pop back up.
那场面简直太荒谬了，我们还划着皮划艇绕着座头鲸转。
So it was just a ridiculous and we got to kayak around humpback whales.
大家都跳了极地 plunge，但我那天有点宿醉。
Everyone did a polar plunge, but I was a little too I was hungover that day.
我当时就想，那听起来可一点都不好玩。
And I was like, that does not sound like it's going to be fun.
实在是太冷了。
It was just too cold.
太冷了。
Too cold.
所以，嗯，我的单口喜剧会主要讲我今年的全部旅行经历。
So yeah, so like it's all about, you know, my stand up is going to be a lot about all my travels this year.
今年我去了大约40个国家。
I've been to like 40 countries this year.
天哪。
Holy shit.
不，我做了我最后一场脱口秀。
I did a high in my I did my last comedy.
不，我的巡演是从欧洲开始的。
No, I started this tour in Europe.
我在五月和六月在欧洲演了24个城市。
I did like 24 cities in Europe in May and June.
然后，是的，我就到处逛逛。
And then, yeah, and then I've just been bopping around.
然后南极是我最后一站，不过我真的去遍了各地。
And then Antarctica was my last trip, but yeah, I've been all over.
我去了阿根廷。
I went to Argentina.
我去了很多地方，比如我巡演期间去过的许多欧洲国家。
I've been to all places like, you know, a lot of European countries for my tour.
所以能在欧洲开启单口喜剧巡演，然后带到这儿来，这很有趣，因为通常情况是反过来的。
So it was fun to like start a stand up tour in Europe and bring it here because usually it's the other way around.
通常我都是在美国开始，然后去欧洲、澳大利亚或新西兰。
Usually, I start in The States, and then I go to Europe or Australia or New Zealand.
但我
But I
我太喜欢了。
love this so much.
好的。
Okay.
所以门票现在可以购买了。
So tickets are available now.
访问 Chelseahandler.com 了解这场辉煌巡演。
Chelseahandler.com for the high and mighty tour.
你现在在惠斯勒，但你正前往最重要的国家——好莱坞，因为你将在1月4日星期日主持评论家选择奖。
Now the reason you're in Whistler, but you are making your way the most important country back down to Hollywood Country because you are hosting the Critics Choice Awards, Sunday, January 4.
我想说一件事。
Now, I just wanna say something.
这个节目在E频道和USA电视台播出。
This is on E and the USA Network.
我知道长期以来，人们一直认为颁奖季的开始是金球奖。
And I know that for a long time, people have been like, oh, the start of award season is the Golden Globes.
我想重新定义一下。
I wanna just reframe.
颁奖季的开端是评论家选择奖，它将是最佳颁奖典礼，因为它拥有最多的奖项类别。
The start of the season is the Critics' Choice, and it will be, it is the best award show because it has the most categories.
它是拥有最多明星的颁奖典礼。
It has the most stars of any award show.
金球奖实际上规模很小。
Golden Globes is really actually quite small.
评论家选择奖规模宏大，我们请到了切尔西·汉德勒担任主持人。
The Critics' Choice is vast, and we've got Chelsea Handler as host.
所以新年伊始，你将观看切尔西主持评论家选择奖，她一定会大放异彩。
So right when you start the new year, you are going to watch Chelsea host the Critics Choice Awards and she's gonna kill it.
为了纪念她主持评论家选择奖，以及我首次主持ELIVE红毯并颁奖，
And in honor of her hosting the Critics Choice Awards, and me hosting the ELIVE red carpet and presenting for
我被要求做一件了不起的事情。
the first time in
事实上，我被邀请去做一件非常精彩的事。
life, I've actually been asked to do something fabulous.
我还是没有找到裙子，切丽莎。
I still don't have a dress Chelsea.
我非常紧张要走出去。
I'm very nervous about walking out.
贾斯汀，你知道的，贾斯汀·西尔维斯特，我们的朋友，他说：千万别穿得像在奥普里剧院的蕾芭·麦克安蒂尔那样，满身闪亮，还像迪士尼风格。
Justin is you know, Justin Sylvester, our friend, he's like, please don't show up like you're in Reba McEntire at the Opry, like, in sparkles and, like, your Disney.
你能想象吗？
Can you imagine?
那确实是你能做的事。
And that is something you could do.
为评论家选择奖穿得时尚一点。
Chic for Critics Choice.
你当时说
You were like
我的意思是，你说得对。
I mean, it is you're right.
评论家选择奖的氛围非常热烈。
The vibe is high at the Critics Choice.
我真的很兴奋今年我们第一个出场，因为越早越好。
I'm actually really excited that we're going first this year because the earlier, the better.
这占用了我的滑雪季。
This cuts into my ski season.
明白吗？
Okay?
所以我回家待四天。
So, like, I come home for four days.
我去做个喷雾美黑。
I get a spray tan.
我要被评判四天。
I get judged for four days.
我和编剧们一起打磨脱口秀，简直像一场真正的旋风。
We work on the monologue with my writers, and it's like a literal whirlwind.
所以我很高兴能早点把这事搞定，你知道，去年那会儿是大火，所以被推迟了两次。
So I'm glad to get it out of the way earlier in the year, you know, like, I mean, I think last year was the fire, so it was delayed like twice.
但我非常兴奋这次在E地举行。
But I'm very excited that it's at E.
你知道，E地是我出生的地方。
You know, the E is where I was born.
所以我喜欢回到那里。
So I love to come back there.
我相信他们也很欢迎我。
And I'm sure they love to have me.
他们确实欢迎。
They do.
我觉得，有这么一件事。
I think that, like, there is this is this thing.
我知道你离开了，但你从未离开过我们的心。
I know you left, but you never left our hearts.
我从未真正离开过。
I never really left.
我只是觉得我得
I just was like, I have to
现在走了。
go now.
最近我一直在等切尔西回来。
I'm waiting for Chelsea lately to be back.
我已经准备好了。
Like, I'm ready.
你通过那个节目推动了那么多人的职业生涯。
You launched so many people's careers with that show.
它太经典了。
It's iconic.
我觉得我们需要一些傻乎乎的名人评论。
And I think, like, we are we need dumbass celebrity commentary.
就是，你知道的？
Like, that's you know?
我就需要你的意见。
Like, I just need your opinion need.
我知道现在一切都太严肃了。
I know everything's so serious right now.
就像，我们恰恰需要更多这种傻乎乎的东西。
It's like, you know, that's exactly what we need is more dumbness.
但问题是，所有这些傻乎乎的东西把我们带到了现在的境地。
But the problem is all that dumbness got us where to where we are now.
你知道吗？
You know?
感觉像是。
Feel like.
所以有时候傻乎乎的东西太多了。
So sometimes there's too much dumb.
所以每个人偶尔也都需要读一本书。
So everybody needs to read a book once in a while also.
不能光坐着关注八卦和那些东西，因为这会让你变得真的很蠢。
Can't just sit around and pay attention to gossip and all of that stuff because it kind of makes you really stupid.
是的。
Yeah.
我们需要一种平衡。
We need a mix.
我们需要一个有智慧的傻瓜。
We need an intellectual dumbass.
那就是切丽莎，为了纪念我们最爱的有智慧的傻瓜，我们将‘评论家之选’改为‘切丽莎之选’。
And that is Chelsea And so in honor of our favorite intellectual dumbass, we are changing the critic's choice into Chelsea's choice.
因为她是唯一重要的评论家。
Because she's the only critic that matters.
今天在《女士帮》上，她凭零科学依据、零投票机制，亲自颁发奖项。
Handing out her own trophies today on Lady Gang, based on zero science, zero voting bodies.
这只是切尔西的想法。
This is just what Chelsea thinks.
我是
I'm
一名医生。
a doctor.
所以有点科学依据。
So there's a little science.
你是
You are
药理学家？
a pharmacologist?
从农场到餐桌的妇科医生。
Farm to table gynecologist.
哦。
Oh.
哦。
Oh.
女孩们。
Girls.
明白吗？
Okay?
请记下来。
Write that down, please.
让我们记住这一点，用于我下次的开场白，
And let's remember that for my next intro,
下次我回到这里的时候。
the next time I'm back here.
从农场到餐桌
Farm to table
哇。
Wow.
切尔西对你来说太合适了，杰克，因为你正在做她那种盆底肌治疗，有人把手指伸进她的肛门，然后让她收缩什么的。
Is Chelsea, well, is perfect for you, Jack, because you're doing like the butt she's doing pelvic floor therapy where someone sticks her finger up her butt and then has her, like, squeeze and stuff.
哦，我超爱这些东西。
Oh, I love all that stuff.
我为了滑雪做了大量盆底肌训练。
I do tons of pelvic floor stuff for skiing.
所以我确实做，但没人给我做直肠刺激。
So I'm but I don't have anyone give boofing me.
你被直肠刺激了吗？
Are you getting boofed?
什么是直肠刺激？
What is boofing?
杰克，你正在被直肠刺激呢。
You're getting boofed Jack.
把东西插进你的肛门里。
Stick something up your asshole.
哦，是的。
Oh, yeah.
嗯，这跟我有关。
Well, mine has to do with me.
比如，我没法自己排便。
Like, I can't poop by myself.
所以她们会把手指伸进去，来回搅动，看看里面是什么情况。
So she's they're putting their finger in there and whittling it around and seeing what's going on.
她们正在调整她的机制。
They're working on her mechanism.
还要保持眼神接触，这是非常强烈的眼神接触。
And having eye contact, which is extreme eye contact.
让你感到不安。
Throwing you off.
是的，这确实很极端。
Yeah, that is extreme.
这很难
It's hard to
好的，成交。切莉将宣布她的获胜者，然后我们会讨论各个类别。
Okay, deal so Chelsea is going to name her winner and we will discuss the categories.
好的，所以流行文化时刻
Okay, so pop culture moment
是
of
今年的。
the year.
今年你在流行文化中最关注的是什么，切莉·哈纳德？
What was your number one thing you cared about this year in pop culture, Chelsea Handler?
天啊，真的吗？
Oh God, really?
我想我成了一个斯威夫特迷。
I guess I became a Swiftie.
我变得低调地痴迷于泰勒·斯威夫特的新专辑，还有她的巡演，以及整个故事背景。
Like I became low key obsessed with Taylor Swift's new album, and also her tour, and also like just the lore.
就像，有几个月我发现自己花了很多时间。
Like, was like, I I found myself there were a couple months that went by where I was spending a lot of time.
我当时觉得我
It was like I
刚发现泰勒·斯威夫特。
just discovered Taylor Swift.
但是
But
你有没有？我以前并不关注她，但突然之间，随着Eras巡演，我完全被震撼了。
did you I hadn't been into it, and then all of a sudden with the Eris tour, and I was just so blown away.
然后我就开始听她的音乐，接着，没错，我彻底沉迷了。
And then I just started listening to her music, and then I, yeah, I really got carried away.
天啊。
Oh my gosh.
你像我们国家大多数成年女性那样，因为她订婚而哭了吗？
Did you cry like most grown women in our country when she got engaged?
不，不，我不为订婚流泪。
No, no, no, I don't cry about engagements.
我觉得，你知道，我对订婚的感受和其他女性不一样。
I feel you know, I don't feel the same way about engagements that other women do anyway.
我不觉得这是什么胜利。
Don't think that's a victory.
我觉得，不，不，不，不如就一直保持订婚状态吧。
Think it's like no, no, no, let's just stay engaged for as long as possible.
那样的话，就是持续的庆祝。
Then it's a constant celebration.
每年办一次订婚派对，你就能不断为对方展示自己。
Have an engagement party every year, and then you are constantly auditioning for the other person.
我更喜欢这种安排。
I like that set up more.
是啊，太对了。
Yeah, so true.
好吧。
Okay.
但我知道她会订婚的
But I knew she would get
当然会订婚。
engaged, of course.
是啊。
Yeah.
我的意思是，这肯定会很棒。
I mean, I it's gonna be great.
我们已经讨论过这件事了。
We've discussed this.
比如，我们对婚纱有点紧张。
Like, we're nervous about the dress.
你懂我的意思吧？
You know what I mean?
就像，泰勒，是啊。
Like, Taylor Yeah.
她真的好美。
She's she's so beautiful.
有时候，我就希望她在婚礼前做个能衬托脸型的高光。
And sometimes like, I just want her to get one face framing highlight before the wedding.
我就提这一个要求。
That's all I ask.
其他一切都完美了。
Everything else is perfect.
我就想要一个高光。
I just want one highlight.
就这些。
That's all.
就只是一个小小的面部修饰。
Just a tiny face frame.
好吧。
Okay.
但我爱你，泰勒，永远爱你。
But I love you, Taylor, and forever.
但是，就像。
But, like,
就怕特里·佩恩听到她说任何关于泰勒的负面言论。
just one so nervous that Tree Payne is gonna hear her saying one negative thing about Taylor off
因为切尔西，我在名人圈里只有一人比你更重要，那就是我每次泰勒推出新品都会收到一件毛衣和手写便条，都在泰勒·斯威夫特的公关名单上。
the Taylor Swift PR list because, Chelsea, I have only one thing above you in celebrity world, which is I'm on the Taylor Swift So PR every time Taylor launches something, get a cardigan in the mail and a handwritten note.
我的意思是，那不是手写的。
I mean, it's not handwritten.
是她亲手写的，然后激光打印在别的东西上。
It's written in her hand and then laser printed on something else.
但是
But
总之，切尔西可以弄到这个。
anyway, Chelsea could procure this.
我无法相信她会亲手写东西。
I can't believe that she handwrites stuff.
这是另一件事。
That's another thing.
她会给每个人亲手写东西，还有时间写便条。
Like, she handwrites everything to everybody and has time to write notes.
我十年前就不写便条了。
I stopped writing notes like ten years ago.
我根本不写任何便条了。
Like, I'm not writing any notes.
我不知道该怎么写了。
Don't know how to write anymore.
我也不知道怎么写字了。
I don't know how to write anymore either.
有人告诉我，我得给我的感恩日记写点东西。
Somebody told me I had to inform my, like, gratitude journal to write in it.
我说，我觉得我不会写字了。
And I'm like, I don't think I can write anymore.
我把内容打在笔记里。
I type it into my notes section.
是的。
Yeah.
百分之百。
100%.
我是贾斯汀·西尔维斯特。
I'm Justin Sylvester.
我是布莱克利·索恩顿。
And I'm Blakely Thornton.
欢迎收听《昨日凝视》，这档播客将剖析历史上最具影响力的流行文化时刻，并给予它们应得的酷儿之爱。
Join us for Yestergaze, the podcast where we break down the most pivotal pop culture moments in history and give them the queer love that they deserve.
那些在拨号上网时代让我们激动不已的事情。
The things that got us riled up during dial up.
那些本该是分手的接吻。
Those makeouts that should have been breakouts.
那些被永载流行史册的瞬间。
And the drops that were cemented in pop.
我说的是贝尼弗。
I'm talking Bennifer.
泰拉对娜奥米。
Tyra versus Naomi.
汤姆·克鲁斯跳上沙发的场景。
Tom Cruise jumping on that couch.
还有更多更多。
And so much more.
所以请给我们评分，并在 Apple Podcasts、Spotify 或你收听音频内容的任何平台订阅我们。
So please rate us, subscribe to us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere you get audio related content.
我们还接受 Venmo。
We also take Venmo.
还有 Cash App。
And Cash App.
ACH 呢？
ACH?
或者信用卡号也可以。
Or credit card number as well.
我们很灵活。
We're we're malleable.
嗯。
Yeah.
我们知道。
We know.
我们今天是同性恋。
We're gay today.
你正在收听女士帮。
You're listening to the lady gang.
好的。
Okay.
切尔西，你今年的名人是谁？
Chelsea, who was your celebrity of the year?
是泰勒·斯威夫特吗？
Is it Taylor Swift?
那个主宰了你的幻想、群聊和对话的人。
The one person who dominated your fantasies, group texts, conversations.
嗯，不是幻想。
Well, not fantasies.
那不会是泰勒·斯威夫特。
That wouldn't be Taylor Swift.
我只是为她作为一名女性感到无比自豪。
I'm just so proud of her as a woman.
幻想？谁才是让你着迷的人？
Fantasies, who dominate?
我的意思是，去年我可能会说佩德罗·帕斯卡，但他今年真的没让我有感觉。
I mean, let's see, last year I would have said like Pedro Pascal, but he's no, I'm not feeling it this year for him.
他今年没在我眼前出现够多。
He hasn't been in my face enough.
今年谁最性感？
Who's been sexy this year?
你是Jeremy Allen White的粉丝吗？
Like, are you a Jeremy Allen White?
你是老版乔治·克鲁尼的粉丝吗？
Are you an old George Clooney?
你是约翰·塞纳的粉丝吗？
Are you a John Cena?
你是Glenn Powell型的吗？
Are you a Glenn Powell?
你是那种因为真的是Jonah Bezos的人吗？
Are you because it's really Jonah Bezos?
呃。
Ew.
天啊。
Oh god.
我知道。
I know.
这就是问题所在。
This is the problem.
我 literally 就是觉得，就连我们都说这很难
I'm literally like, even we had It's the hard
挑出一个你被吸引的男人。
to pick out a man that you're attracted to.
根本没什么颜值可言。
There are no looks.
名人并不性感。
Celebrities aren't hot.
他们有点丑。
They're kind of like ugly.
其实根本不算性感，嗯。
There's like it's not a hot yeah.
你提到的那些男生都挺棒的，但就是，嗯，不算。
Like, all those guys you mentioned are are all great, and they're but, like, no.
我对那些不感兴趣。
I'm not interested in that.
但我觉得我不确定。
But I don't think I don't know.
你知道的，我还是选50美分吧。
You know, I'm gonna go with the 50¢.
管他呢。
Like, fuck it.
他就是我想说的。
He That's what I was gonna say.
你知道吗？
You know what?
他说他想作为前恋人忠于他。
He put I wanna be loyal to him as an ex lover.
是的。
Yes.
他推出了那部关于迪迪的纪录片。
He put out he put out that Diddy documentary.
他一直都在嘲笑迪迪。
He's been clowning Diddy this whole time.
我早就知道不该去。
I knew never to go.
我想我大概二十年前去过一次Diddy的派对，但那一刻我就知道了。
I think I went to one party at Diddy's maybe like twenty years ago, but I knew right away.
我当时就觉得，这人真恶心。
I was like, this guy is so gross.
懂吗？
Know?
还有Diddy和Fitty，听我说。
And Diddy and, Fitty Fitty, listen to me.
Fitty，他也知道那个事，虽然我们从来没讨论过，但我很喜欢他最近的所作所为。
Fitty, he also knew that fit, not that we ever discussed it, but I love what he's been doing.
我很欣赏他为那些女性支付了律师费，不是真正的辩护律师，但你懂我的意思吧？
And I love that he paid for those women's lawyers, for their defense attorneys or not actual defense attorneys, but you know what I mean?
他支付了她们的法律团队费用。
He paid for their legal team.
所以，是的，我会选50美分，因为他每年都值得一个奖项。
So like, yeah, I'm gonna go with 50¢ just because he deserves an award every year.
我超喜欢这一点。
I love that so much.
我偶然看到一段你和他谈论某个故事的视频，比如你不能出门散步什么的，我觉得特别搞笑。
I randomly saw a clip of you talking about some story with him about, like, how you can't couldn't go, like, for a walk outside or something, and I thought it was so funny.
是啊。
Yeah.
是啊。
Yeah.
我看过那段视频。
I saw that clip.
是啊。
Yeah.
他真的很搞笑。
He it was funny.
真的特别搞笑，是吧。
It was it's so funny how, yeah.
我就是喜欢聊他，因为他实在太可爱了。
He's I just love to talk about him because he's such a sweetheart.
你知道吗？
And it's you know what?
能有不让你反感的前男友，真好。
It's nice to have ex boyfriends that you're not repulsed by.
我知道。
I know.
我不懂那种感觉。
Don't know what that feels like.
我们真的不懂那种感觉。
I we don't really know what that's like.
但这是
But it's
作为女性，很难不这样想：时间久了，你就会觉得，哦，我现在有点同情你了。
It's very hard as a woman not to be like, enough time can go by and then you can be like, oh, I feel sorry for you now.
但这仍然是一种怜悯的感觉，没错。
But that's still a level of kind of pity pity and yeah.
真的让人反感。
Definite ick.
我交往过的所有男生，我都不会再和他们有任何亲密关系了。
Like, there is no one that I've dated that I could ever be intimate with again.
我整个恋爱史上，没有一个男朋友是我愿意再和他们发生关系的。
Not one of my boyfriends in all of in all of my history that I could have sex with again.
甚至连50 Cent都不行。
Not even probably 50 Cent.
这真不幸。
That's unfortunate.
你知道吗？
You know?
我只是不想再看到同样的场景了。
It's just like I don't wanna see something the same time.
我已经看过这部电影了。
Like, I already saw that movie.
你懂我的意思吗？
You know what I mean?
我感觉很新鲜。
I'm fresh.
这太恶心了。
It's gross.
我需要看一部新电影。
I need a fresh movie.
保持新鲜感。
Keep it fresh.
好的。
Okay.
第三部。
Number three.
你认为切尔西的年度性爱姿势是什么？
What is your Chelsea's Choice sex position of the year?
一个定义了她2025年表现的举动，如果对《Lady Gang》的听众来说，这个姿势涉及懒散、食用品或高效性，还能额外加分？
A move that defined her twenty twenty five bonus points if, for Lady Gang listeners, if it involves laziness, edibles, or efficiency?
我的意思是，我喜欢，你知道的，我只是喜欢多样化。
I mean, I do like to, you know, I just like to mix it up.
所以我就说，我喜欢当男人的手环绕着你的时候，你知道我的意思吧？
So I'm just gonna say, I do like when a man has his hands all around you when you're, you know what I mean?
摸着你的脸、脖子，抓着你的胸部、背部，所有这些感觉。
On your face, on your neck, they're like holding your chest, your back, all that stuff.
所以其实无所谓是什么姿势，不管是上面还是下面。
So it doesn't really matter what position as long like being on top or being on bottom.
当然，听好了。
Obviously, listen.
到底有哪些女人会一直想在上面？
No one whoever who what who are these women that wanna be on top all the time?
我是想要被插入的。
Like, I'm looking to get penetrated.
嘿，你来插入我，我就在这儿。
Hey, you penetrate me and I'm here.
这就是当下。
And that's the present.
请别让我像那样趴到上面去。
Please don't ask me to, like, get on top.
我的意思是，如果我自己愿意，我会，但我讨厌被人指使该做什么。
I mean, I will of my own volition, but I don't like to be told what to do.
对。
Yeah.
当我在上面的时候，感觉就像在上动感单车课。
I also feel like I'm in a soul cycle class when I'm on top.
这对我来说一点都不性感。
It doesn't feel sexy to me.
这很难。
It's hard.
太费劲了。
It's too laborious.
我不喜欢。
I don't like it.
嗯。
Yeah.
我觉得这其实可以很性感。
You kinda need some, like I I I think it can be sexy.
这取决于时间，你知道的，比如一天中的什么时间，心情如何。
It just depends what time, you know, like, what time of day, what the mood is.
这可以很性感，但不是我的首选。
It can be sexy, but it's not my go to.
我真想骑到这个家伙身上。
Like, I'm dying to get on top of this guy.
不。
No.
那不是我的意思，我根本没这么想。
That's not what and I'm that's not what I'm thinking.
我真想认识那些会这样的女性。
And I would love to meet the women that are
同意。
Agreed.
她们显然天生就有很好的表现力。
They obviously have, like, great natural turnout.
我担心在上面时，我的表现从来都不好。
My problem with being on top is that my turnout has never been good.
我的网球生涯中，我拉伤了髋部的唇状软骨。
My my racket life where I I pulled that labral tear, which is, right in your hip.
我不喜欢那种张开的姿势，太不舒服了。
I don't like, it's, like, so uncomfortable to be in that splay.
然后你知道吗，有时候我在我上面的时候，我会想，天啊，我得像音乐视频里那个‘母马梅格’一样。
And then, you know, I can't there's sometimes when I'm on top and I think, my god, gotta be like Meg the Stallion in the music video.
对吧？
Right?
就像，不行。
Like No.
然后你就会想，你啊，
And you're like, you'd like, you
你得扮演角色，那是第一个错误。
gotta be doing the roles That's the first mistake.
那是第一个错误。
That's the first mistake.
当你在上面时，人们以为自己必须表现出来，比如坐直身子，炫耀自己的胸部。
You like, when you get on top, people think they have to, like, perform and, like, they're sitting upright and showing off their, like, breasts.
不，不是这样的。
Like, no.
你需要趴在上面，但要像青蛙姿势那样，就只是
You need to get on top, but, like, in a frogger position and just, like, be
贴着他们，这样
on them so
你们可以接吻。
that you could be kissing.
但我的乳房会湿透。
But then my boobs are wetters.
我的信。
My letter.
然后你就成了小胸的切丽莎。
Then you're tiny tit, Chelsea.
但接着你们会互相摩擦。
But then you're rubbing on each other.
你在摩擦他。
You're rubbing him.
他在摩擦你。
He's rubbing you.
好的。
Okay.
你并没有，像，让你的乳房垂下来。
And you're not, like, you're not dangling your tits.
你们在互相摩擦。
You are rubbing each other.
但这需要那种青蛙式姿势，那种姿势很难保持。
But that involves that frogger like position, which it's pretty tricky position to be in.
明白吗？
Okay?
嗯。
Yeah.
尤其是对男人来说。
Especially for men.
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